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@sarapr I think the main implication would be banishing the naive notion of materialism from all of culture and mainstream. Imagine that the real nature of Reality is being studied and discussed from 1st grade textbooks. Can you imagine the metaphysical implications and the transformation in collective worldview if everyone was aware that there is no external physical world? From our current situation, it seems like it would produce uncontrollable chaos and madness. There is nothing wrong that Science produces technologies to make life easier. But it is the noob rationality game they play and how they present their paradigms on pedestal as the only barometer of Truth. In the end, they MUST play this game for survival, just so they are revered as the torchbearers of Truth and everything Real in this life. Would you honestly give a fuck about the new iphone if you and all of your surroundings knew in their deepest heart of hearts that there is no external world and only Consciousness exists?

In India we have seen meditators since hundreds of years, throughout our long history. If you don't deceive yourself, meditation transforms you. Meditation is not a child’s play. It is a deep transformation.

Real shift in insight is the result of shift in the energetic system. The subtle energy body shifts and its influence cascades down into physiology, thoughts, beliefs, and an 'aha!' moment. Its not uncommon for shifts in perception to be accompanied by a physically enduring experience. Insight doesn't lead to transformation, it's the opposite way round.

Don't get lost in idea of "now" moments either. This can be just a seeking of some experiential idea you have of what the moment looks like. keep going back to the recognition you had.....anything thats going on at all times no matter the apparent "now moment" is infinite intelligence unfolding. This may be a hard process, because at some point, you'll start shedding your identity and this transformation process can be a shit show inside, so be prepared, but dont expect it either, for some its easy.

Awareness of awareness, i.e. being aware that you are aware of something is what psychologists call metacognition. This is completely different from the transformation of mind "Enlightenment" normally refers to. Of course, one might import the sequence of letters "E-n-l-i-g-h-t-e-n-m-e-n-t" into whatever language game one wants to play, and declare anything as "Enlightenment".

I think Jair Bolsonaro is pretty blue with shades of red. I created a topic here about Brazilian politics and Leo said that our country is evolving from blue to orange, which is a hard transformation.

Maybe my notion of 'Peaceful' revolution has derived from stage green thinking. At the same time, as i am trying to evolve from green to yellow, i can see some of the complexity of human nature or system. Like leo mentioned about 60s revolution and its green essence. Need to study about that more. But without much deep thinking, i can say that it was 'peaceful', if you compare it with french revolution, an orange one. Comparing only to understand, not to demonize. Certain transition needs certain measures. Both violence and peace are necessary and part of reality, although the existential nature of both is unique. I think all revolution are just recipe for transformation. The question is, what is the nature of that recipe. French revolution was full of violence done by both parties (revolutionaries and oppressors)

(back to topic) really liked the sliced bread analogy what about to see a revolution more as an incision, a more peaceful revolution more as a transition and an evolvement as a transformation?

This is a response to quoted conversations early last month on topics concerning various aspects of enlightening practice in ordinary situations. For those unfamiliar with some of the writer's Chinese Taoist terminology (not that I regularly rely on these terms), I will flesh them out in the course of responding for those who might be interested… "Higher Virtue" would refer to non-resistance in adapting to events (not that it is higher or lower, per se— what is implied is another order of referential experience). To call it "higher virtue" is to recognize that passivity is not what is meant by "virtuous" non-resistance. It implies a sensitivity to an ever-pervasive subtle living potential comprising the existential and transcendent basis any situation one could find oneself in. This is not conjecture or theory. It's taoist science— but, that's not to say that it's Taoist. The tao isn't taoist. No one invented or discovered enlightenment. It's who we are. All authentic awareness teachings are the same, ultimately. They just have different emphasis to meet the needs of the place and time as they continue to change for the benefit of Universal Good. Direct realization of potential is non-discursive awareness as the moment in terms of one's situational and transformational presence, but the writer seems to be implying some sort of focused aspect of seeing reality (not sure whether the writer's intent is toward enlightening awareness or a strict reference to the sudden (absolute awareness). I need to affirm that there is no such visual quality of "direct realization" to be construed (if that is what the writer meant) in terms of enlightening activity in the midst of ordinary situations. Seeing potential is just perceiving reality without entertaining the perspective of the personality (the thinker, the knower, the liver of life), without unconsciously construing discriminatory consciousness in the midst of ordinary affairs. Just such non-discursive spontaneous adaption in the midst of affairs IS virtuous non-resistance, in terms of spiritual subtle adaption. What this is all about is not going to the trouble to get mixed up in karmic evolution while in its midst (ie: liberation), while spontaneously satisfying the requirements of the time and situation. Some teachings like to split this up and allocate the former aspect to transcendent buddha activity and the latter as compassionate bodhisattvic activity. It's just a teaching device. There are no rote stages. The fancy name for this is the supreme vehicle of buddhas (heeheehee)!! Dealing with uncreated potential and NOT dealing with created energy of karmic flux IS practicing non-resestance. Why? There's nothing resisting inside or out. It's not that there is non-resistance in oneself as opposed to not-self. It's that there is no duality in enlightening activity. It's as natural as air— and even less resistant. Enlightenment is already our nature as human being. I said human being, not human beings. That's a subtlety. It is in and of itself unfathomable. To enter into the inconceivability, one must simply forget to think as the person and just start seeing what is without habitual self-referencing psychological patterns. Easy to say, immeasurably difficult to carry out without many years of unbending intent— both before and after sudden enlightenment. But still, one can step over eternity in a thrice, because it is already our own nature. Mind is one. There are no two minds. It's as easy as turning over your hand. Xing and Ming are a pair of technical terms I can vaguely assign to inner (psychosomatic) energy [Ming] and immaterial (selfless/spiritual) potential) [Xing]. As in all things in the ancient quasi-system assigned the name "taoist", there are innumerable levels of understanding of even terms such as yin and yang per their contextual intent. Xing and Ming are certainly more specific in connotation, yet, one must tread carefully, even after many years of study, meditation and direct experience. Nevertheless, there are those in all walks of life who, through no personal fault or effort, are very close to penetrating the source of this teaching on the turn of a phrase. This is why I dare to publish these seemingly nonsensical posts and threads. Once one sees, it is only a matter of repetitive re-affirmation through adapting to endless situation as one gradually enters the mystery without end (the mystery, that is). As for immortality— that's awareness. To the degree one assimilates to essence and leaves behind the gross elements of the self, that is the degree to which one takes on the characteristics of inconceivability. Take me for example— this is just crazy-talk-- but every instance of my description, as ancient as it is, is factual. Our nature is inconceivable, and so are we. The writer goes on to say: The "Gradual Method" (along with "the sudden" approach), also forms another pair in the terminology of various Chinese spiritual traditions. "Nei Dan" is the Chinese term referring to the widespread and popular strains of grafting, or energy-work. Though it is called "inner alchemy", it is not to be construed as somehow an advanced practice as oppose to "outer" practice. Any kind of ordinary or esoteric exercise or activity anyone here on the Actualized forum has ever imagined there to be in terms of yogic, sexual, meditative or otherwise, falls into the Nei Dan sphere of activity. Nei Dan, along with general philosophical theoretics and/or speculation make the bulk of what passes for core asian "spiritual praxis", in the popular sense. Here, the writer refers to those who practice Nei Dan as "Nei Dan". Nei Dan refers to psychosomatic energy manipulation, which cannot transcend its own sphere of influence (being creation). Why? Because it is itself created. Xing, on the other hand, is working directly with that which is uncreated. How is that? Awareness is itself uncreated. It's selfless. It has no self. It is our direct link with nonorigination. This is immortal. It is our nature. The nonpsychological is spiritual. Working through recognition of nonpsychological awareness (non-self-reflective), people are able to enter into spiritually adaptive activity. It's called using the world to refine the self as opposed to using the world to gratify the self. This is none other than "turning the light around" to shine directly onto its source, instead of following the light (of creation) to go along with karmic evolutionary bondage. IT'S THE SAME LIGHT. The light is awareness itself— your own mind right now. It's not that it shines somewhere on something. It's already the totality of Suchness. Work within Suchness, and one's selfsame being the light itself is activated and actualized without needing to know. In my referential experience, I discount the speculative philosophical approach to spiritual evolution because of the literalistic abuses of historic and ancient written material such as doctrinal treatises of buddhistic and taoist bent, but also Confucian writings in particular. At any rate, pretty much any and all documents in both Buddhist and Taoist canons qualify in my opinion— not due to the source materials, but due to the way ego-referential intellectualism literally destroys the very intent and power imbedded in the documents themselves. Therefore, in a twist of irreverence, I make reference to what the writer attributes to the highest virtuous accord with reality [my term], as "outer work". Why? Because the esoteric devices of Nei Dan are to carried out in private, while the subtle teaching of selfless spiritual adaption in the midst of ordinary affairs takes place, well, in public! That is the most powerful kind of practice there is, and one carries it out without anyone knowing. It's all totally natural. Basically, my good friend (I don't know him at all) is hung up on the fact that there is nothing to grasp in terms of dealing with Xing, and he cannot conceive of giving up on Ming, and he makes no bones about it. Whereas all along, taking up Xing is working with what is the same (immortal) and Ming is working with the different (created)— not to mention the fact that he is hung up on immortality (technically speaking of course). Awareness is already our absolute nature. Immortality, per se, is not even an issue in terms of authentic practice. The basis of mind is itself enlightenment. Someone else on the same thread from another forum (Dao Bums) made the great analogy that in order to enter this sphere of "advance" practice, one must wipe one's feet (of intellectual understandings), adding, oh, by the way, you're already standing on the floor-mat! it's a matter of stopping (to think habitually), and so begin to see how reality is already working naturally (by the insight of innate nonpsychologically perceptive capacities we are already using without knowing it right now). Later on (in my Dao Bums thread), this writer also insists that some kind of bodily transformation must be taking place for one to attain immortality. I don't really have a problem with that, really. I mean, whatever~ In terms of his insistence that Ming is important, all I can say is that by taking up Xing by virtuous non-resistant accord within reality, where one sees through phenomena without denying its characteristics, Ming is spontaneously experienced along the way as inconceivable body experiences that occur without any intent or effort on one's part. It's the strangest thing! Ming is included in Xing automatically. Anyone can tell by reading the writer's quote, that the writer is culturally asian, and it is crucial to understand what an incredible bit of cultural baggage he is dealing with in trying to work this out~ not that he has any more of an impediment than any non-asian does. Even so, you never know …seeing essence and returning to carry on advance practice, entering the way in profound reality— it's possible❤︎ Perhaps I will try to continue this thread here on Leo's site. If not, any one who is interested can peruse about eight years of material (yuck!) by referencing my profile page. deci belle is my name on the Dao Bums website too.

I'm slowly starting to trust people, I'm starting to open up more and become more of my authentic self. I'm starting to feel more confident and comfortable with my voice and feeling more comfortable around people. On Saturday, I went out to Trilogy for Manifestation Dance which turned out to be a great experience of exploring body's movement on a micro dose of mushrooms 0.1g. Tapping into powerful king-warrior voice On my way there in the car, since it took about 40 minutes to get there, I was experimenting with my voice and humming, at one point I started to tap into that "boss" state that I keep experiencing on Ayahuasca when I feel like my true self, I feel the King's energy coursing through my entire body and become the force of nature. At that moment I started talking in Russian: "когда я пью айяаску я чувствую в себе настоящюю, Русскую, богатырскую силу! Я ощущаю себя настоящим мужиком, я настоящий мужик! Я русский богатырь!" This was screamed out with a lot of passion and the kind of voice that I've only experienced on psychedelics, I tapped into that state and confidence without taking anything. There was a lot of fury pouring out of me and I felt awesome expressing it with this powerful king-warrior confidence, I also said: "Я хочу жить, я буду жить! Меня заебало! Я хочу жить!" This was said with similar passion but also sadness as tears poured out of my eyes. I realized I'm able to tap into that authentic, passionate place within me that is longing to be alive and live to the fullest, that is longing to express my awesome unique talents, that is longing to tell the world my story and show people that transformation is possible, that it's entirely up to us to transform ourselves and it's okay to be ourselves, live our dreams and become our full potential as humans. I also felt like English language has kept me locked up and unable to express my authentic voice because of it's weakness compared to Russian, Russian language is just so much more powerful, rich and expressive and I feel like I never truly became comfortable with English. At some point I thought I needed to speak just Russian for a while and create some YouTube videos expressing these ideas in Russian which could also help my parents with some of their problems. I came to the conclusion that I actually need to practice both, but start warming up with Russian because that's how I tap into that authentic place longing to be expressed and then transition into English while on the same Russian style wave length. Exploring new depth of dance and movement There were glimpses of fear of where this journey is leading me to as usual, but not much as I didn't let the mind wonder and just concentrated on movement and enjoying listening to the music and watching other people dance around me. I really liked experimenting with all kinds of dynamic body movement and learned some moves that I haven't tried before, I was able to tune myself in to the rhythm of almost every song and come up with a unique dance style to match it. I could feel myself resisting certain kinds of songs, but decided to work through that resistance anyway to see what would come out of it, and then was able to create new style of dances as I worked through that initial reluctance and resistance. This tells me there are old patterns of moving and behaving that I'm clinging to, so by working through that initial resistance and trying new moves to the songs that I initially don't like is a great way to explore creativity and new depths of body movement and style. I was really into it most of the time there which was about an hour and a half and felt like I'm finally starting to become that person I keep seeing on psychedelics but in a gradual, gentle way that works for me. I think taking micro doses and going out to events like that is perfect for integrating high dose experiences and empower myself so I can gradually start trusting people. Talking to women authentic style I also talked to an Asian girl who was pretty locked up and shy and was pretty hard to read with her monotonous voice and stiff body language, though I persisted talking to her and was still able to have a decent conversation with her, she told me she wants to share a poem at a open mic talk at Trilogy next weekend. Then I talked to another woman who was really sweet and playful and kept touching me as I expressed my playful and expressive side and made her laugh a few times. She kept on grabbing and groping my arm and I really liked that, she was easy to talk to and very expressive, I think I should have kissed her in the elevator, though I wasn't so much attracted to her. She invited me to come dance at a north county dance studio around here in Encinitas and told me there are "Church dances" every Sunday from 11am to 1pm, so I wanna check those out soon. We also did "chakra cleansing" and came together by touching each other's hands making the infinity sign and creating an intention to send out in the Universe, there was a sense of trust, connection and unity during that time and the whole experience of dancing with other people in non-egoic way, exploring body movement, talking to women with my new confident voice and body language, being touched by women and enjoy myself by laughing and expressing my authentic self, combined with a micro dose of mushrooms, really gave me a glimpse of life's beauty and what I can become if I keep exploring these creative abilities and continue to work on spirituality, things seem to be coming together for me finally. We parted ways with this other girl who kept touching me and I criticized myself for not getting her number, but thought it was okay because I'll still see her at a Sunday dance anyway. Talking to parents about love and their relationship Holy shit! I talked to my parents about unconditional love and told them very emotionally with tears that it would make me very happy if they fixed their relationship and started cultivating love towards each other again! I realized just how difficult it was for me to tell them that, I was very emotional with tears and sobbing while I told them just those few words, but I felt like I had real impact on them and that they're actually going to listen. I warmed them up by talking about spirituality and Leo's videos over the last several weeks that I started seeing them again and it seems that my dad is especially interested in this stuff now. So I gradually lead them, without even knowing about it myself to this very conversation. Before telling them that, I was talking about Leo's recent video on "What is Love?" and told them that learning how to love should be a priority for people and that love is the most powerful force in the Universe and that it's unconditional. Prior to this conversation, my parents were very nasty and cruel to each other, I could feel the hate energy between them from their body language and how they pissed each other off in every moment they interacted, it became very difficult to witness that and I started thinking about why I even started seeing them again. I then remembered that I wanted to practice unconditional love around their suffering and accept whatever is going on between them but not meddle with their relationship. I did have an emotional impact on me anyway though, and I thought that maybe I'm not ready to practice unconditional love for them in that way and I think this is the moment where the Warrior in me awakened and was able to finally openly tell them: "Mom, dad, there is something I want to tell you" at which point I became very emotional, "it would make me very happy if you could fix your relationship", this was so difficult to do and I'm so proud of myself for being able to tell them that. They became emotional too and teared up, and we all came together in a hug, feeling like we are becoming a family again after a long break up. Of course, I realize this isn't going to be easy for them, but I think they will actually try because it was related to them in such a powerful way. This made me feel like I've grown so much as a person and reinforced the wisdom of: "by healing yourself you heal others". Sound bath healing with Cloud People After visiting my parents I went to a sound bath healing which was my first such experience. I could immediately sense the kindness from these people, especially the Cloud People brothers. I have this extra sensory intuition about people when I first meet them and can immediately tell if they are kind and loving or egoic and arrogant etc. The sound bath experience was awesome, I took a micro dose of 0.1g just before coming there, they used all kinds of exotic instruments - cosmic drum, ocean drum, flute, and many others which made me go on a trip. I started having the usual theme run through me: "like this whole thing has been designed on purpose for my awakening, here we go the Kundalini energy is going to rise and I'm going to have to go through ego death, because I'm God and the only one here in the entire Universe, all the events are leading to this place, there is no escaping". I just observed all of that and let it go and was able to work through these fears as my consciousness expanded, I was able to work through it in a very much gentle and gradual way, slowly peeling off the layers and going deeper. The women's singing voice was angelic and it felt like the Goddess herself was singing to me and nurturing my inner child who very much needs this motherly, loving, nurturing and caring energy because of all the terror I have put this little child through. It triggered some emotions with me and there were tears coming out on multiple ocassions during this experience. We were then invited to share about our experiences, I could feel anxiety and tension well up inside of my body as usual at the sound of these words, but it wasn't at all as intense as it used to be, and I only felt mild nervousness. So I decided to share after some people already shared their experiences and told them how I felt the motherly, caring and gentle energy and how my inner child was longing for it after very intense experiences with Ayahuasca and multiple male shamans bombarding me with icaros while I was having an ego death. I was then approached by two women who turned out to be the mother of the cloud people and a sister, they were the most loving and kind women that I have met on this entire journey, the mom asked me if she could give me a hug and all three of us had the most loving, genuine hug that I have experienced in a long time. There was love emanating from our hearts for each other and we became enveloped in this cloud of love, I could immediately feel my body tension and fears melt away, I could feel trust in love and unity and humanity, I could feel trust on where this journey is leading me to -- more love and unity and authentic connection with real, loving human beings. We then had a heart felt conversation about this journey and I told them how I developed trust on this journey by contemplating love and unity and just what those words mean. I told them about my Spain travel experience while living in Russia and how I felt separated from the world while I was in Spain, and upon returning back to Russia immediately felt like I was home again, I felt reunited with the world and I felt safe and loved. I also told this story to my parents and I told them that since leaving Russia at the age of 14 I have been looking for that place of home, to be reunited and how this journey is leading me back to this place of wholeness, unity and love. This experience and conversation with these women reignited trust in humanity, love, unity and journey in me, I have almost lost that trust because I have ran into a lot of nasty, egoic, arrogant, low consciousness people on this journey who considered themselves authority, though I always intuitively knew these people were just bullshiting themselves and I can spot that kind of bullshit from far away. These women had powerful impact on me and I'm now confident this journey is leading me to the right place, the experiences I'm having by micro dosing, going out and exploring my creativity, authenticity and relating to people is turning out to be the most profound, most powerful way to take this spiritual development to the next level, things are finally starting to come together in this beautiful way, I'm pushing the boundaries and working through resistance, I'm working through fear, I'm cultivating love and trust in people and myself and I'm becoming more confident in the process, I'm regaining my personal power and I'm becoming more loving. I also talked to a woman who was singing with the angelic voice about voice lessons, because the host of the house told me she worked with her to develop her authentic voice and she seemed to be a perfect match for my current situation of wanting to express and train my powerful, authentic voice, she also told me about retreats and accountability partners which is another way to connect with like minded, conscious people, so I think I'm going to take lessons with her. After leaving the sound healing place, I sat in my car and thought: "this is too good to be true. The kind of life that I'm about to have is just too good to be true…."

I think it should be decent, but imo there are more advanced teachers\material with good spiritual background. Spirituality and self-development go hand in hand as consciousness work is the single best thing to transform your psyche. I'd advice checking Peter Ralston's "spiritual" trilogy (Book of now knowing, Pursuing consciousness and 3rd book). Especially I recommend "Pursuing consciousness", it's all about personal transformation based on enlightenment theory. Tbh as I read more of his books I see how much this guy influenced Leo and his content. A pretty big chunk of best Leo's content is based on Peter Ralston's teachings. He teaches you how to contemplate properly, how to unwire the Self and all concepts you have, what emotions are, what concepts are, etc., tons of good stuff, highly recommend. Of course a lot of this stuff Leo already talked about in his videos, but these books are a bit better structured and you go straight to the source with them. And if you're interested in pickup side - check The natural lifestyle on youtube. Here is a bunch of guys who are using meditation and nondual teachings as primary tool for bettering your dating life. And they usually have pretty intense spiritual backgrounds

The programs claims to heal trauma etc.. I just think a pick up guy is the wrong person to teach this sort of stuff... (guy with a massive ego etc) I'd want in healer someone who is high consciousness, and who really cares Thoughts? P.S Yeah I've done a lot of sober cold approach in the past - and it's actually great, I've also done healing with other people before. I don't know how I feel about RSD teaching this sorta stuff, it's like he got publicly attacked then they are moving into this area now.

Chapter 9 Swan henge 1. Fire + Water + Earth + Air = Universe or Uranus. . Represented by a jar of crystals. 2. God consciousness /sol[Roman] = fire + spirit + water + storge + salubris +sophos[curative] + air + Solis + karma. Represented by a wand Salubris[Latin] is a kind of Goodness, wholesomeness,creativity which is creative and beneficial for growth. It will only create good, even out of the bad. A component of water and earth. This is found abundantly in God and God's creations but found in man very rarely and in less proportions. It is a wonderful skill, a skill of the sculptor. It is a quality of being constructive rather than destructive. It creates and sustains it and takes it to wholesome progress and sustainance. Solis [Roman, Latin] is guidance Sophos[Greek] is intelligence that solves problems and brings equilibrium. A part of air. Storge[Greek] is love. Karma[hindi] is also related to the quality of justice. As you sow, you reap. You get the justice you deserve. God gives you exactly what you deserve after your actions. He does justice to you when he is invoked. 3. Raum/Malphas / Dark Raven= Fire + Spirit + Air{skill+knowledge but not wisdom} + Dark forces[diabolos] . Represented by a raven. 4..Kobal /joker = Spirit + Fire + Water + stultum. Represented by a donkey. 5. Ipos /swan or stork = water + air + spirit. Represented by a swan. 6. Forneus/Snake = Fire + Spirit + Water + Air + defendo. Represented by a wolf or a snake 7. Hominum. Last element is human or user/object /observer 8. Agalma [Greek] - represented by the single element earth. Means physical aspect of everything. 9. Animus[Latin] - represented by the element spirit. The spiritual aspect of everything. 10. Metamorfosi [Greek] - victory, success, transformation, growth, improvement, change, conversion of spirit into matter, conversion of thought into action. Victorious. Peace. Balance. Sequence. Process. Equilibrium. Eternal peace process or Cycle. 11. NOSOS [Greek] disorder and chaos. Loss of balance, disease, suffering 12. Hybris [Roman ] - self, ego, desires of self, wants, needs, goals,

@Max_V You get transformation mastery on actualized.org for free. I bet Julien only has reorganized knowledge that is already out there.

The trap I've often fallen into is approaching life as a passive victim because I can just program my attitude towards unconditional happiness & acceptance. And negative motivation never worked for me either. So tell me if you could explain it well, how once can use emotional mastery to be a motivating and empowering force for deep transformation that extends into the material realm? Because if happiness is not something you have to work for, and there is no way to work towards it anyway, it is easy to become complacent, especially when taking responsibility for your life circumstances requires understanding complex, confusing situations and immense mental effort to overcome resistance. Like if I can just choose to be happy, why even get out of bed, why do anything? This is something I am honestly trying to figure out right now, how to reconcile purposeful, directed action, personal; development, material progress etc. with spiritual development, detachment, releasing ego, selflessness, not doing, just being, experiencing beingness.

Haven't been counting the days, but by now it has been at least 50, including my first ever 'no-fap September.' Went most of august without fapping too, but relapsed some time over 50 days ago when I found some forgotten porn on a data backup stick I forgot to delete. This is also the longest I've gone without ejaculation in the past 10 years actually. The 3 key factors which led to success this time around were I began by journaling almost every day to recall all of my past experiences with masturbation addiction, and desire for cutting out that habit completely. I fully internalized that ejaculation is not something I want to do, never in my best interest, always detrimental. In my posts I often reference how I learned to avoid alcohol since I feel like shit an hour after just one drink. It was so much harder to quit fapping since the detriments were far more subtle, but I learned to associate the feeling of living an overall shitty life as a regular wanker with the act of jerking it at all, even edging, and no it's something I avoid like liquor. I stopped fantasizing about sex altogether. This is the biggest difference and I believe it's why it's felt so effortless this time. Even when I was previously successful at going 10-40 days without jacking, I still ended up daydreaming about having sex, distracting myself with fantasies of making love with women, even sometimes shedding my anti-natalism and wanting nothing more than to fearlessly inseminate a fertile minx. It seems like this time I don't forget how psycho-spiritually draining to feels for me to cum, and also how addictive it is, and I don't take for granted that this activity which used to consume my life has been stamped out in a way that feels so effortless at the moment. I just seem to have completely lost interest in sexual activity, and in this respect, life has never been better, I have never been happier. Keep in mind though, not long after I started wanking at age 14 I was addicted to it going 3-7 times a day often times, could never moderate, only abstain some times. I also do kriya yogas, breathwork and mantra meditation somewhat regularly, alone and with a community, so this helps both with letting me experience my own energy, noticing & appreciating the transformations which occur as my body keeps recovering from years of over-stimulation, and also with circulating the sexual energy around the body so that it doesn't stagnate and fester, i.e. turning into a ferociously horny animal preoccupied with lust. Where do I go from here, to great heights presently unbeknownst to me. To quit fapping is just the necessary first steep to deep transformation of my entire life, since doing that constantly dampens my experience of life, and the brain fog keeps dissipating, showing me all of my gifts and flaws, strengths and weaknesses, self-deceptions and things avoided, or repressed. It brings everything to the surface, forcing me to deal with it, but along with this a new type of energy and optimism to work through any issue, no matter how fucked up it seems at first.

@Max_V i watch them everyday actually haha. my PM meditation is julien's transformation mastery release for like 6 months you can pick up on their lifestyle if you watch them enough. they havent embodied a lot of what they teach yet. thats all great content tho. i get lots of nice reminders from them

@Hello from Russia I almost watched all of The Natural Lifestyle's videos, they're amazing. That silent pickup video pretty much motivated my whole journey towards becoming socially free and bringing my consciousness work out into the world instead of just my cushion. Game with consciousness. A beautiful thing. @d0ornokey Don't write everyone off so fast. Many of them have deeper insights than you think. It's easy to assume that they are just all superficial there just for pussy and money, I did the same, but with a second look you might be surprised. @Rebec I wish I could afford Julien's transformation mastery, really some deep value in there for sure. @aurum I will watch that, thank you.

@Rilles Have you got any ideas about how to do that? Because it seems hopeless, its on such a large scale and this is big business for people, and peoples livelihood and people tend not to react very well when you try and mess with there survival. It would take everyone to make this change and people just won't do. I guess I could work on trying to create some sort sanctuary for animals like a farm that has the purpose of caring for animals instead of butchering them, but again that takes a lot of money. And even you if could do that its still on such a small scale maybe 100 animals and what's that compared to the billions of animals that are killed for human consumption on a yearly basis. Maybe a more effective way to go about that is to assist in transforming the human Psyche to a point were eating animals is no longer an option, but again that requires a complete transformation in myself first which is no easy feat, that would take a lifetime of disciplined work and then you have the issue of trying to help others which would be just as hard. Look at krishnamurti he spent his whole life trying to do just that and failed, not long before he died he felt great sadness about it all that it never made a difference. People just don't care enough, there consciousness is so involed with there own survival and agenda, this is the self minds job. To quote krishnamurti " there's no sanity in the world" @Rilles

They say its really healthy they say you can get transformation in your conciousness...

1. Believe that you have control over your emotions. If you can't even believe this yet, believe that it is at least possible for you to learn how to choose your own emotional states. This is actually the necessary first step to emotional self-mastery, to accept that it is something you have control over. Most people go through life being emotionally reactive, they just instinctively respond to stimuli in their environment, thinking there is an external world that supersedes their internal world. This is the biggest limiting belief there is, you underestimate how you can shape your perception of reality and develop psychological capabilities far beyond the levels of consciousness previously known to you. 2. Disengage emotion from perception. Realize that emotions are entirely subjective, and existentially meaningless. You were predisposed by biology, and programmed by society to feel happy when you accomplish things, win competitions, and receive approval, praise, sexual validation and a sense of belonging others. Consequentially you would naturally feel unpleasant emotions when you desire such things and do not get to experience them. Humans evolved this way so that you would be guided by your urges to survive, compete and procreate, really no different from any other species of animal. By realizing that's the whole point of having emotional reactions, that they are just shallow, rudimentary, primitive instincts designed to enslave you to the game of life, you can relinquish any sense of attachment you may have had to your emotional states. This is the hardest part of the transformation, because people think of their emotions as deep, meaningful, and real, denying the validity of your emotions seems like destroying your sense of self altogether, and perhaps this is the very means by which you stop being a victim of emotional reactiveness, and start being the author of your own emotional states. Since emotions are not grounded in any objective, external reality, they all come from within the psyche, why wouldn't you be able to just choose your own emotional states- if you want to be happy, then be happy for the sake of being happy. What is the point of clinging to the reactive model of emotionality- you don't need it at all. It's just an embodiment of the victim mentality which is keeping you depressed. Time to discard that old paradigm. 3. Differentiate between emotions, sensations and meanings. Be conscious of the pure sensations you experience in your body at any moment, without attaching any thoughts or emotions to them. Think about an emotion you have felt- any emotion. Now what is the emotion made up of? Sensations and thoughts. Sensations are visceral things you experience in your body, and thoughts are the language you use to describe it, the meanings you attach to the sensations. For example, just notice how your body felt when you had been sad, or angry, or scared. How was your breathing, muscle tension, posture, heart rate, etc. And what thoughts did you associate with these sensations, what stories did you tell yourself? Now you are beginning to see the big picture. By dissecting emotions into their components, you can manipulate those components as to eliminate unpleasant emotions, and create desired emotional states. Body and mind are not separate entities, but one integrated organism in a continuous feedback loop. You can be more conscious of what you do with your body, and of what narratives you tell yourself. By doing both of these you can actually affect the root sensations as well, and control the entire process of feeling emotions. 4. Hack into the emotional feedback loop. The most straightforward demonstration of this would be the relationship between facial expressions and emotions. Normally, facial expressions are simply external reflections of an animal's emotions, and their evolutionary purpose is to broadcast those emotions to communicate with other animals. But this is a feedback loop, and it works just as well the opposite way around. It's devilishly simple how you can just manipulate your own emotions by changing your facial expressions, you can make super wide smile, a deeply smug, evil grin, smile so hard your cheeks get sore, and keep smiling like that for 5 minutes. You will soon be overcome with very pleasant sensations, and start to actually feel ecstatic, blissful and overjoyed. Hacking into your emotional feedback loop, getting something from nothing, is really this simple. You can also listen to upbeat, fast paced music while clapping your hands to help get into state when doing this smile meditation. This is totally not normal, I'd even call it an abnormal psychology technique, but it absolutely works. Normal people are miserable, neurotic, emotionally reactive messes with very little self-awareness, drifting through life haphazardly, reacting to stimuli, deriving a sense of self worth from other people. Disregard all that nonsense, and create your own reality. And there are endless more techniques like this that allow you to just change what you do with your physical body in order to bring about desirable emotional states. Some are fairly simple like smiling, deep breathing, posture and body language control, music/sounds and aromatherapy. There are also next level techniques you can use to release emotional baggage, like through intense sound vibration (think chanting AUM so deeply you become the mantra) and deep tissue release, massaging whatever parts of your musculature you can reach, applying as much pressure as you can without injuring yourself, also kneading your back and upper legs on a lacrosse ball. I reiterate again, there is no separation between mind and body, treat it as one feedback loop. Emotional tension is physical tension and vice versa. You won't become happy just talking about your "feelings," nor by numbing them with drugs. You become happy by dissolving any sense of duality between your mind and body, the internal and external reality. It will seem very simple once you get it, because happiness is naturally the default state of being, since once you realize nothing actually matters, you can stop projecting meaning onto everything, no longer feel you need to do anything in life, and just experience the bliss of "beingness." 5. Step 5: Commandeer the emotional feedback loop as your source of self-sustaining internal happiness, permanently detaching your mood from any outside input. It can get to the point where your subjective emotional states become their own enclosed ecosystem, and absolutely nothing external to you can penetrate this bubble. This takes practice, and when you find yourself removed from your comfort zones, you are forced to get creative, and can reach profound levels of personal development much quicker than when just thinking about this as a concept. Facing situations that would have used to make you sad, scared or angry can force your emotional resolve to really kick into overdrive, and this builds a resilient foundation for achieving emotional mastery. The process I am trying to describe here is super-normal, the establishment might label as psychosis, a breaking from reality, emotional derangement. This is also necessarily a rejection of affective empathy, refusing to react emotionally to others by not opening yourself to instinctively feel what they are feeling. On the other hand it is the core of self-mastery, fully internalizing that you are the creator of your own reality, the fundamental kernel of true personal freedom. Though one potential thing to watch out for is that when you are happy, negative motivation will no longer work, so once this happens, all of your actions will have to be driven by love, not fear.

@LiakosN Mind=bondage to something. The mind is an energetic parasitic system. The content of experience is the mind. The mind is like a vampire that is sucking the life energy out of the body for it's own survival. It stores the energy in the body in form of some tension. When the right time/environment factors are triggered the stored emotional energy manifests as a reaction that moves the body in a certain direction. Behind every reaction there is a thought. These thoughts are subconscious but when we bring them to the surface, to our conscious awareness then we can analyze them and write them on paper. Then after that the content cycle repeats but this time, there is more wakefullness of the thoughts that manifested the experience and then one can use empowering statements to self-correct (speak out loud) and then the fundamental crystals that store the memories are transformed to be more in alignment. This is a process of waking up from dualistic egoic living, it's based on awareness, self-correction, transformation, transmutation, transcendence and integration.

If there is conflict, there cannot be quietness. If there is not quietness, the illusion may persist. In this perspective, a technique may be a path towards subduing the conflict, carving the eventual persistence in being. There is no reward, there is only impermanence and an eventual transformation

This post is going to be a trip report/an outline of insights and experiences I encountered last night while going to a rock concert with my step dad; the band is named Russian Circles. The drug used was weed. I smoked around 6 heavy hits of a strain called Gorilla Glue #4, dosed at 29.6% THC and 0.86% CBD, using a glass pipe. *Warning, this will be a long post, but I'll have it organized by the experience so if you want to only read about certain topics, you can. What I thought was going to be an otherwise "normal" rock concert ended up becoming a facilitator for 3 separate mystical/non-dual esque (I really have no idea what to call them) experiences. We walked into the venue and immediately it felt as though Russian Circle's music kind of shocked my nervous system... Like the vibrations where synchronizing with my body. It was loud of course, but also the style of music that Russian Circles plays is extremely rhythmic, has zero vocals, and is also very complex, so it's hypnotic in a way. They use a lot of loops in their music, so there are multiple layers of sounds going on at once. So we're literally just standing in the crowd and the more time that passes, the more and more it felt like I was beginning to sink into the rhythms of their music, as if my ego just kept getting increasingly quiet to the point where there was just the awareness of the music. More awareness, more awareness, more awareness... And then things got weird. Infinite Intelligence - Probably around 15-20 minutes into the concert after becoming increasingly aware of and into the music, and after still being high as fuck from the weed, BOOM. I'm just in awareness. It was literally just fucking awareness. I was aware of these powerful rhythms, I was aware of all of my body sensations, the visuals of the show and crowd occupied my consciousness and there literally was no more sense of "I." It was just pure, unadulterated conscious experience. And then there was this clear and distinct disconnect from the music, from the crowd, from the power of that auditorium, and "I" just fucking saw into everything that was going on. It was like the universe revealed to me the complexity of every last mother fucking drop of reality. It was as though I was peering into the amount of skill, time, energy, and fundamentally Intelligence, that it took those band members to perfect their craft, how much time and energy that went in to culminate into this beast of a performance, a performance that was able to drawn in a massive crowd and hold their attention, as if they had transcended into some sort of gods. I felt and saw the complexity of the musical vibrations, almost as if the sounds were "dancing" in some sort of patterned INTELLIGENT rhythm through vibration. "I" became aware of how much information and intelligence had transpired to create this exact moment in time in space, how much fucking evolution, how much cellular organization, how much practice and skill, how perfectly aligned the actual cosmos of our universe had to be aligned to create THIS PRESENT FUCKING MOMENT. The sheer intelligence of my absolute reality hit me like a freight train. Like... Every last drop of orgnazation and complexity for every last individual human, every brick of that building, every cell on that room, every atom, the velocity of our galaxy, the gravity of our sun, the pull of our moon, the psychology of these minds.. all of it just poured over awareness like a waterfall. What was also so profound about this experience is I could actually feel the limitations of my consciousness on this matter. I saw just how utterly mind bogglingly complex this ONE FUCKING MOMENT was... And yet how much intelligence I still wasn't able to become conscious of. I'm sure if I had taken a real psychedelic, perhaps it could have facilitated further insight into the nature of this intelligence, but regardless of the strength of this insight and experience, I still was aware enough to see how much further room for growth there was. One of the key insights I came into direct (as direct as I've ever been before) contact with is how that at every scale of reality, there is infinite of intelligence. Whether at the sub-atomic, atomic, physical, biological, psychological, social, all the way up to cosmic scale, there is infinite intelligence at play. The experience was actually beautiful and profound... and ultimately very elucidating. Self Contractility - The way Russian Circles organizes their music is that after each song plays, they play these soft yet melodic interludes before continuing on. So after the song that sent me flying head first into intelligence ended, I was kind of just sitting there shell shocked at what I'd just experienced. And then the music started up again... So at this point, my ego has returned somewhat and I'm a little overstimulated. What ended up happening was my vision just fixated on a man in the crowd. I was staring at the back of his head, at his silhouette. The music kept increasing.... harder and harder; volume and intensity rising and rising and dude I just kept staring at this random strangers head. This silhouette became the singular focus of my awareness, and it began to feel as though "I" WAS the silhouette, as if this outline was the source of any sense of self I could ever have. I became so fixated on this man that it truly felt like my sense of self just merged into his body, there was no more "my body" it was only "Silhouette." Intellectually, I've known for a while how arbitrary the "self" actually is. The ego/mind creates these artificial, arbitrary conceptual identities out of the human body that occupies our awareness 24/7. Just because this body happens to always occupy our present awareness, it does not follow that WE ARE THAT BODY. In fact, it's appropriate to say, we are AWARE of that body. Unfortunately, the illusion as a separate self, built off of layers and layers and layers of subconscious conceptual processes prevents the True Self from actually realizing its true nature. What this means is that the sense of a separate self is actually contractile in nature, and simply "morphs" around the body we always have a direct experience of, despite the fact that this is an arbitrary distinction. What happened with this man's silhouette was that this sense of self arbitrarily detached from "my" body and formed around his. This was achieved through a single laser pointed focus on his outline, so much so that the self "leaped" onto him. This is possible precisely because "my sense of self" is literally just as arbitrary as "my sense of self latching onto a man's outline." Each are bullshit, each are illusion, but each are achieved through a laser pointed focus on either my "sense of self" or another facet of present experience. To put all of this more concisely, the self can expand and contract in any direction it wants, with equal validity in all directions BECAUSE there is no actual self, or EVERYTHING is you so any distinction is arbitrary and equally valid/invalid, depending on how you look at it. Knowing this intellectually is quite different that going through the literal experience of self contractility. Energy Transformation - Towards the end of the performance my ability to focus started really diminishing. It felt like I was in some sort of limbo, unable to really ground myself or make sense of the chaos that was going on. I wasn't freaking out or having an anxiety attack or anything, but it certainly felt like I had started to spiral into a very overstimulated state where all of the senses where clashing and fighting with one another. The music had turned into the propulsive and powerful force that was hammering me over and over with each wave of sound. At the peak of my discomfort, I spontaneously dropped into a state of meditation and started to perform sushumna breathing. For those who don't know, this is a Kriya yoga technique where you essentially imagine/feel energy flowing up and down your spine through the 7 chakras. Through each breath, it felt like the energy of this performance started flooding into my crown and root chakras. What was so interesting though was it felt like I had started directing this overwhelming energy through my spine, and this somehow began to "recycle" the harsh energy of the show into alternative forms of creation. The sounds began to return to their beautiful state, and I began to slowly release the suffering from overstimulation by simple directing all of the energy into my spine. A flash of insight into the nature of energy transformation entered my mind too. As the energy of these rhythms, visuals, and crowd were circulating through my spine, it felt like these were then transformed into and through my body. If anyone has heard of the term "Shakti" which is roughly defined as divine energy and the source of creation, it felt like I was coming into contact with this principle. How each and every facet of our reality transforms itself, through itself, with itself, and ultimately recycles itself into all of reality. As more and more of the shows energy poured into my spine, more and more I became conscious of the strange loopiness that is reality interacting with itself through transformation. This last experience could have easily been more defined as a mystical experience rather than an insight into the nature of reality, however even from a materialistic paradigm, reality literally interacts with itself through transformation of energy and matter. It doesn't seem like too much of a leap to think that one may be able to become directly conscious of this facet. Meh. Sidenote: If you don't do Kriya yoga, START. This shit is powerful as fuck and really starts to open up the mind, body and ultimately self. Key Take Aways - Fuck. This was by far one of the most powerful experiences I've had on weed. It wasn't my most powerful, nor did this feel like an "enlightenment" experience, but nonetheless fuck. It was nice being able to directly experience mechanisms of reality, but I think the biggest take away I was left with was just how much further down the rabbit hole I have to go. Enlightenment goes really fucking deep... And despite how powerful of an experience last night was, I was shown just how much further my awareness has to grow. So for now, I'll continue to chop wood and carry water. P.S. For the forum members who still think weed can't be used as a tool for personal development and spiritual growth, fuck you (jk) P.S.S. If you actually read all of this, you're a G.

catching that unicorn was waaaay easier than catching the unicorn that was in me in fact, i knew that i would find someone like her after i managed to transform myself. i just didn't know that it would only take 3 months after the major transformation. sure, you can see the unicorns. btw, the video you posted above is extremely superficial it doesn't tap into the best of Life! i highly recommend dropping the "women as toys for sex and trophies for the ego" game. it's a very toxic way to relate to people.