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Found 4,660 results

  1. @catcat69123 This feeling is often described by many people who have survived suicide or had NDE's. I'm sorry you had to suffer so much in order to reach this realization. ♥️ I've actually been very depressed for many years and I keep hoping that someday through self actualization and self improvement I'll heal and maybe have that realization you had of everything having been here all along. Loads if hugs ?
  2. the day after my suicide attempt i remember walking outside and had this 'feeling like everything has been right here all along', that was my first clue but i don't know if that was an awakening - it wasn't some intense realization more like an old seed in my mind sprouted when i was trying to make sense of what i was experiencing like i had been torturing myself for so long and finally tried to 'solve' it but it didn't really work and i just gave up in some sense and it happened
  3. Eckhart Tolle had what I would call a suffering awakening. He was deeply disgusted with his mind made suffering, that his "Self" devided from his "I". People experience this while attempting suicide. It seems that your ego doesn't just give room for awakening that easily.

  4. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    I think it's maybe the case that in a world without actual threat, such as this one, unconscious boredom arises, and conflict can only be simulated. That fact aside, where I've positioned myself in that spectrum is another matter. If I was born a millennia ago, I would have had a great time being some sort of Crusader or Jihadi in a Holy War. Or finding some excuse to bludgeon or assassinate other chimps. But no such cause or motivation exists, and I'm left with nothing in a sense I crashed from my active madness, from my phase of facing fears and conflict over and over again, but I stopped. It was just so pointless. Why don't I have the motivation to face my fears anymore or pretend that I am? I'm just at a dead end, and I was occasionally cosplaying as some warrior with an enemy to slay but there are none, it's a bleak wasteland. I don't have any motivation to message moderators about xyz, I might have done so some months ago, but now it looks so boring. Can I even call my lack of motivation "fear" at this point? It was like I talked to __ & __ out of some motivation that they awaken some sleeping giant in me to engage but they were like "nah, no point" or "meh, I don't remember", and so I'm just left here bored again, in some ambiguity cloud that only agency shall be given the permission to claim And despite all that, my simulations still continue because I'm trying to cling onto it. I'm taking anti-depressants now but the only thing they might do is motivate me to seppuku, because I truly feel the world is dead. Let me stop lying for a second. I did get the response I wanted by messaging __ , it snapped me back to here. THERE IS NO FUCKING SCIENCE TO DISSOCIATION CLOUDS AND AGENCY SINGULARITIES. IF THERE WAS A SCIENCE TO IT, THAT WOULD BE TOO RETARDED TO UNDERSTAND. THE WORLD IS TOO FUCKING RETARDED NOW AND THESE CHIMPS ARE TRAPPED IN ALGORITHM. AND I ALREADY KNEW, LONG AGO, THAT MY PREVIOUS EMOTIONAL FRAMEWORKS WERE DEAD, AND IN SOME HYSTERICAL RAGE I COULD ONLY BE ANGRY BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PROCESS OR ACCEPT THAT FACT. So all I could do then was focus on the artificial, RESORT TO COMPUTERSPEAK BECAUSE HYSTERICAL EMOTIONLESS RAGE WOULDN'T BE ACCEPTABLE TO STOMACH. BUT HERE WE ARE, STOMACH IT. ((((THE EMOTION HAS NO SUBSTANCE AND WAS PURE ABSTRACTION)))) THE RAGE IS ARTIFICIAL ENTIRELY AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT AND IM GETTING ANAL RAPED IN 12 (make it 13.14) DIMENSIONS TILL SOMETHING FLIPS So there we go, I'm a fucking automaton now. Great! Just shoot me already, it'll save you the trouble of still being baffled after I pass your Turing Test. Stay at this level of acute artificial awareness. You've suppressed the rage long enough, because you knew it was artificial and couldn't stomach that fact. But it's the only thing you have to face now, and you just have to live with it. Or don't! Suicide is always an option but NOPE!! Maybe you can stomach it. Can stomach the awareness that your entire being and emotional experience was artificial/robotic? AHHHHHHH fuck its difficult to not extrapolate and get lost. And maybe don't rely on other people gaslighting you to get guidance this time round, mkay
  5. Funny enough, going deeper did lead to my suicide in some ways. With Leo’s encouragement I’ve went very deep with things like 5-MeO and self inquiry that have helped me “kill myself” via the expansion of consciousness beyond the finite confines of my ego. LOL
  6. This is interesting. How do you know this? How do you know whether or not to encourage this when you don't truly know what he is experiencing? I mean, all you have is a bit of text, could it not be that in actuality there was something else going on that could be harmful to this individual? For example, what if this person did go deeper and it lead to their suicide. What if your encouragement would lead to that? How do you prevent that from happening when you give advice and even direct commands to people you have no oversight over?
  7. There is another possibility you are overlooking: the pursuit of truth simply for its own sake. Ego has nothing to do with it. It's ego that cares about suffering. What the majority of people are interested in is irrelevant here. It would not matter to me if every last human on this planet was burning in hell and needed a helping hand with no regard for truth. I would still choose truth. Here's why: without truth, you cannot know if the suffering of others is even real. And hint; of course it isn't. The only one who suffers is you, because you are not awake. I'm telling you about a level of awakening that no one else has the consciousness or balls to tell you about. What if no one suffers? What if suffering is something you're hallucinating? Then they've come to the wrong place. I don't care about your suffering. I care about understanding reality. Stop being a child. It's time to grow up. They could. So what? Anyone can claim anything at any time. You're doing that now. My words serve those who want to reach the highest levels of consciousness and self-understanding. But that's the whole point. You do all this work to reach a level of consciousness that virtually no human has reached. If you succeed in this, you will understand what others don't. This is the goal. Not to be better than others, but to simply have maximum self-understanding. When you reach maximum self-understanding there will not be anyone against whom you will be better, because you will be alone. I don't care about being better than anyone. How could I? Who is there but me? You will feel better when you awaken all the way My responsibility is to lead people to truth. But that's the rub: there aren't I am a philosopher. If you don't like it, don't listen to me. No amount suicide threats are going to change the truth. You are not going to fear-monger me out of speaking truth. Deconstructing reality is serious business. It will threaten your survival. Which is why no one teaches you what I teach. - - - - - - I know you guys don't like being confronted with these truths so starkly. Which is exactly why I do it. You think you can succeed in this awakening business while keeping your pleasant spiritual ways. And I'm telling you NO! This makes you unhappy. Well.... sorry, but I'm not going to indulge your fantasies just because it doesn't conform to spiritual norms. I don't have any qualms about shitting on every spiritual norm. You want me to play the role of some gentle kind Buddhist, and I'm not going to.
  8. i think before you attempt suicide you should exhaust all other options that includes therapy, group therapy, medication, psychedelics, leaving your parents and living somewhere else, traveling to interesting countries, helping other people etc. etc.
  9. You don't care about your parents, that's okay. But are you actually certain that you want to leave this world? That there's nothing more you want to do or experience? This dream affords many possibilities. Think of all the sexual escapades you could go on. The challenges you could overcome, the enemies you could conquer, the things you could achieve. You're telling me you honestly want to leave all that behind? Losers do it all the time because they're too weak to deal with their existence so they think they can put an end to it and that'll fix the problem. Little do they know that they're immortal, have always existed, and will always exist. I'm certain that you're strong enough not to require our validation in order to continue your existence. What's the most positive thing you've experienced, and the best relationship you've had with another human? Whoever they are is likely to be better suited to helping you than some strangers on the internet. If anything this is proof you don't really want to commit suicide. All you really want is love from others, but have you considered that maybe others would be more loving of you if you become more loving of them?
  10. @Gregory1 Yes, financially speaking a living human being in a society has it's benefits and costs, but context is needed tk further determine the cost benefit ratio of a living being. Keeping a human being alive in a medical center is different from the costs of generally living in a 3rd world, which is different from living in a 1st world ect. The financial aspect is complicated, but at other situations it can be really expensive to bury a body because it creates some demand for available land, which is why graveyards and cemeteries exist, but we won't have enough land for burial at some point. Cremation is slightly cheaper, but they used coal fuels some electricity and oil to power up the machinery needed to heat up the remains, and that is expensive in another way materially. Another option is to cremation and converting the loved one's remains into diamonds, but that doesn't really make much money to cover the funeral costs because the amount of diamonds made would be at most 5 small pieces, and price of those diamonds are subjected to haggling and stuff, and the process is even more expensive to pay upfront. Go seek a professional and go to the suicide hotline if you have to. Personally, when I stop to tuink about the horrors of mankind and it's past history, and the existence of a hell the the other side, is mostly enough for me to kill off suicidal thoughts in my head and move on in life thinking posituvely afterwards, being grateful for my own life and my circumstances, bad and good in comparison to other people. Therapy is also good, sometimes pricey and emotionally laborious but it's great to vommit some of your negativity onto a professional.
  11. This does not make logical sense. Keeping a human body alive is more expensive than burning a dead body. But yeah, psychologically it could be hard for the parents. I do not mean to imply in any sense that suicide should be committed. The opposite is the case. Call suicide hotline please.
  12. While attempting to answer this question from a existence point of view, whether reality is Solipsistic or panpsychism, is open to interpretation and debate, one thing is certain to me. Committing suicide is extremely foolish and impractical in context. Given what partial context you've said here, about your family's financial situation, well your suicide will add more to their financial burden on top of whatever they are going through now, paying off mortgages, looking for a job ect. Now they have to pay for a funeral service, for a casket to put your body in to bury you, pay for the grave stone and place of burial, or thet pay for the cremation, the pot they put your ashes in. Not to mention that if they can't pay, they have to loan your funeral costs, which puts your parents and siblings into further debt, maintaining the financial nightmare they are in after your death in the first place. Also, the suicide willl negatively impact their psychological wellbeing. You would effectively put them into the grief cycle, and some people with different personality types, grief different and sometimes grief longer or a few do not ever recover from a loss. Like others have said, get professional help asap, hook a therapist, suicide hotline if you need to. Next thing, is to tell us more about your situation with yourself and family that led to this sucidal thinking. More for context, and to get a more tailored advice to your circumstance.
  13. There is nothing in death that cannot be in life. There is no benefit in suicide. You can be at peace and feel awesome right here in life. You can have it all, because you are home and you are free. Do not underestimate the power of simply opening up. You got nothing to lose in being open and expressing emotions. You matter, and each one of us encourage you to talk to someone.
  14. First of all, suicide is futile. It is just another way of getting to an alleged better state or experience. What you are missing is that every experience and every state, including death or blissful ecstasy, only appears within that which is already perfect, free, blissful, complete, happy. Your longing for better state is precisely how Absolute Freedom expresses itself. So it does not matter what you will do, it will never get you anything. Second, no, your parents will not suffer because there is no you to begin with. All relationships are illusion. Your parents are Nothing, pretending to be some separate form, which can form bonds with other forms, just like you. However, within this illusion of relationship suffering may arise due to the attachment to relationships. When Nothing is formed as a human organism, it tends to fall under the spell of separateness, which "hides" the simple truth that everything that exists is how Nothing manifests. In other words, you and your parents are not really separate, but suffering or emotional pain can appear to happen, although no one really suffer. Third, life is mystery dancing as form. There is nothing to gain or get or acheive from it. You can either fight the dance and try to create the next better state or experience, or surrender to what already is, which is the case, and let life continue its dance without separateness and seeking.
  15. mine too but a while ago most people struggle, some more some less, but most of the struggle isn't as personal as you think i don't think suicide is an option at this point
  16. Don't use this work to justify suicide. You may know that everything is imaginary, but that doesn't mean your parents do. You killing yourself will surely guarantee suffering for them.
  17. Call now. Do not wait. Don’t ruminate on misinformation. Call. http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international-suicide-hotlines.html Yes, as was said, they will suffer tremendously and their lives will effectively be ruined. But more importantly imo… whatever it is… it is felt far worse un-expressed, as a ‘secret’. Allow the experience of talking with a trained specialist. There is much, much, much love here for you. ? Feel free to reach out anytime!
  18. @Tyler Durden First of all that is wrong to say NOW taking account of the situation and also that is quite wrongly worded, because even if you all actualized.org users would go to commit suicide "I" would be here and I would register that which happened. Would you see that your loved ones suffer? - no, because you wouldn't exist then to see that. But still our job NOW when it is about someones life we need to be extremely sharp when we answer.
  19. I don't think their suicide had anything to do with the video. At least in the case of the first guy.
  20. Evidence supporting a link between dental amalgams and chronic illness, fatigue, depression, anxiety, and suicide
  21. If it wasn't for leo I don't know if I had started my spiritual journey... I followed his meditation techniques & it worked for me.. My kundalini got awoken.. But it was a dangerous energy to live with.. I didn't know how to handle It...It drove me mentally insane.. And at the end I couldn't control it & attempted suicide & injured my hand... But when I confronted leo about this all he had to say is that you should seek professional help for your mental issues.. Like seriously dude that's all you got to say to me... Which makes me question did leo have a kundalini awakening?.. Like did he have any awakening?.. I had put so much trust & faith in this guy & that's how it ended up..I had expected better answers from you leo..
  22. @lostingenosmaze That's valid point and I agree that this could be on every video, but the thing is that people should be caution with anything they do. Even when eating candies you could choke or bit your finger off. Should everything be done like America that microwaves have warning labels that cats shouldn't be inside when the microwave is on? I just wanted to point out that there are actually warnings and where else do you see about 10 hours of high quality content of JUST WARNINGS. Of course suicides and suicide attempts happen all the time and we can't avoid all of them and my honest opinion is that Leo has done exellent work in preventing that. If Leos videos help millions of people and saves lifes and then there have been one certified suicide and couple of suicide attempts then I would call that very good statics. Don't fall into the trap of not seeing the forest for the trees. This is actually pretty good moment to do Leo's practise of accepting things even if they are very shocking. We need to get out of our heads and think logically this thing and when you try to see this thing without acting from the feelings you could see what I try to point out. We need to accept things like they are now and if we have some feedback to Leo there is possibility to do that on his blog site or just in this forum, but the thing is that we can't come to him agressively, because that makes this comminity toxic and how could we then practise gratitude, love, calming mind or anything spiritual <3 Hope that people could finally understand that, because I have now sent like 10 messages to this topic about basic logic and appreciating an awesome content of Leo.
  23. If Neph had contacted him once or twice or just asked for advice from the forum, Leo's reaction would be harsh and out of line. Thing is he contacted Leo several times, not just asking for advice. He explicitly blamed Leo as the cause of him being suicidal, that Leo was personally on the hook for solving his problems, and he took no personal responsibility for his role. Threatening suicide to force a relationship or reaction out of someone is emotional extortion. I understand you'd have to be in great pain to say that, and I have compassion for anyone in a dark situation like that. But if you're in the public eye you constantly have to deal with people blaming you for things you have nothing to do with. You have to be firm about expectations and responsibilities with fans (aka: strangers) so they don't get the wrong impression. So I have sympathy for both Leo and Neph.

  24. Is Actualized.org bad for average people?

    Shawn Philips replied to ShardMare's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    I think 2 people commited suicide after the enlightenment video series because they misundestood liberation with death, so yes, it's dangerous for average people.
  25. @Nahm one of the reasons i got hooked by actualized.org is because of the lax psychedelics policy. i know plenty of people who messed up their psyche with drugs - i know plenty who didn’t, only some can take them repeatedly while staying sane to a point. i doubt its the best choice for a forum who has a section about depression and psychological issues. there is one case of suicide connected to the forum where someone tried to heal himself using psychedelics instead of seeking psychological, psychatrical help. psychedelics further create confusion while some people need more clarity. its mainly for people who already had a stick up their a** and not exactly for creative people with already issues getting along with reality. if someone is already floating in space sober, you don’t tell them to let go of security lines, because then the experience would be so much more exciting. worst case scenario after letting go, flying away with the spaceship, because there are other exciting realities to explore. @FlyingLotus leo doesn’t teach much about psychedelics in the videos, it’s not the reason why people start writing in the forum. most do because they have some issues to deal with, or because they made the step to buy the life purpose course.