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  1. I've been on the forum basically since the start and I think at the beginning, no one really knew what shape it would take and what kind of people it would attract. So it definitely interested me to have a community of people interested in talking about consciousness and non-duality and looking at society from a different perspective. Before i get into my criticisms I want to give some positives, its really great that you can meet and potentially build relationships with people interested in this stuff, theres not a lot of people that are that I come across in my life anyway, so this is cool. Also a lot of great resources get posted which can lead to going down new paths and learning new ideas. Now for the fun part... My main criticism is that I think Leo underestimates how much foundational growth people need to do before they start trying to realise things like god-consciousness and I believe this forum encourages them to bypass basic work they need to do in the real world which will help them grow. Most people come on here I believe because in some way they arent fulfilled by life, theyre looking for a way out. I would say the demographic on here is relatively young lets say 20s, in which case its not people who have lived 50 years and become disillusioned with their path, its those that dont want to face the everyday struggle of looking after yourself, working, going into the world. It can be a daunting prospect, especially if you have unaddressed traumas or parents that have coddled you or youre always online and have never really experienced life. Its natural that if you dont feel prepared you will look for a workaround, an easier way out, this is the human condition. I believe enlightenment is being unconsciously sold as this workaround, if you are looking for a way out in the way ive outlined, and you stumble upon Leos videos and hes talking about ultimate bliss and how it can be realised, something will hit home because there is truth in what Leo says, but you will only be attempting to bypass the hard but essential parts of life. I think people have the idea that, if i get enlightened everything else will fall into place, to me this is fantasy, it does not work like this. Maslows Hierarchy as well as Ken Wilburs model, which states you should 'grow up, clean up, wake up then show up'. No one puts waking up first, even spiral dynamics requires that you go through the lower stages and first and get to healthy versions of them. Because of the nature of any forum, ego does come into play and i think people tend to peg themselves higher on SD, but again this is just another form of bypassing, there is demonisation sometimes of blue and orange but i dont think people realise how important these are to incorporate for your life, its very important that you have structure, discipline, you know how to make money etc. I believe most people on the forum arent content because these things are not in order, its nothing to do with them not being enlightened. You will be surprised at how mch your state can change once you take responsibility for yourself, talk to more people, cook for yourself, workout etc. People who have never attempted to talk to the opposite sex, had a job, lived by themselves etc in my opinion should not be worried about Alien love or the highest levels of awakening. The reality is they want to do all those things and more but for whatever reason they dont feel they can, their striving for higher levels of consciousness is just avoidance and i think until they sort themselves out spirituality will almost be a means to an end. If you notice a lot of the people that I wouldve considered quite healthy higher stage people have actually left the forum or post very rarely and its just because of where the forum actually is. Im not criticising anyone for being at any level, thats part of the journey but i think its a bit of an illusion that this is a high level forum. I think this forum is people on their journey, working it out but have been seduced by the idea that they can be awakened mainly through psychedelics and will be able to skip big chunks of the journey. Im not saying that you shouldnt be interested in non-duality or Leos ideas, they of course can help and give you a new perspective on the world. What im saying is that dont expect them to be a way out of anything. Take joy in normal life, dont try to escape, level up in every aspect.
  2. ‘The entire creation is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil! But the creator—God—is not a half which has fallen out of unity, become separated from it and consequently recognizable; on the contrary, God is unity itself. He stands above all created forms which have fallen out of unity. Right within himself, he has perfect unity. He is the Nothing out of which Everything arises and manifests itself, but in him the nothing and everything make up non-separated, divine unity. ‘Creation always means a half of the whole . . . the half which has fallen out of unity and which has become recognizable through comparisons, while its complementary half has remained behind, unmanifested. That’s why you can never find and never recognize God—the creator—in the world of creation, simply because God has no complementary half with which he could be compared. There is absolutely no possibility of comparing him, and so there is no possibility of recognizing him.—You can only be God! ‘Listen, my child: There is only one eternal being—only one God. In everything alive there lives this one single being, there lives this one single God. God is the indivisible unity, he is present everywhere, he fills the entire universe. The whole universe lives because God animates it with his own eternal being! Hence God is like a tree of life giving its own being to the created, recognizable world that has become separated from its complementary half, in other words, giving life to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. This tree of the knowledge of good and evil—our created world—is only alive because the tree of life—God his own life in its veins—lives in it! ‘The material world is like a tree of death: The tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and the God dwelling within it is the tree of life living in everything that is created. God is one and only one. This one single God is the self, the innermost being within all creatures. God is everywhere present, and since two things can’t occupy the same space at the same time and nothing can displace God from any place in the universe, only one and the same God can be present everywhere as the self in every created form. God is indivisible unity. All creatures, all plants, animals, man himself; all are fruits on the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; all are alive because the vital flow from the tree of life streams through their veins, that is, because the tree of life lives within them. And that means in you too, little daughter!—Your body is also a fruit on the tree of death, on the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and has no life of its own. But within you there lives the tree of life, because your self is also a little branch on God’s great tree of life, and you are only alive because God is living as your self within you and your body, keeping your person alive. ‘By virtue of having been born into your body, you have become a recognizable being. You have separated your consciousness from the great all and nothing—from God, from your own true self. You have fallen out of the divine, paradisiacal, original state—in which all possibilities of manifestation including all plants, all animals and man himself, are still within the all-embracing unity —into the world of many forms and differentiations. You have become a manifestation, a created form. Consequently everything you are here on the earthly plane is only the recognizable half of unity, made up of good and evil. And since your consciousness has been placed in your body, you have awakened in this body, that is, your consciousness has become identical with the body. ‘To eat of something is to become identical with it; for what you eat is what you will consist of, what you will be. Through identifying itself with your body, your consciousness has—symbolically—eaten of the fruits of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and by the same token become subject to the kingdom of death. ‘But now listen to the good news: Your body is the result of separation; it is only the visible half of your own true self. The other half has remained in the unmanifested, unconscious part of your being. By uniting these two complementary halves with each other, you can return to divine unity! It is impossible to experience this unity physically, that is, to make your invisible unconscious visible and physical also, and unite the two halves together. For one consciousness cannot animate two bodies. To try to experience unity in this way would mean death. By virtue of the very fact that the body has become visible and recognizable because it has separated itself from its complementary half, the reunion in this way would have to involve the death of the body. Nevertheless you still can experience, in the body, this divine reunion with your complementary half: In a state of consciousness! You can expand your consciousness until you make the unconscious part of you completely conscious, until you consciously experience the unmanifested, invisible half of yourself, and in this way achieve divine unity in your consciousness. Even while your body remains in the visible world of the created, you can merge your consciousness with your own true self, out of which you have fallen, thus forming the perfect unity. In this way, right here in this earthly existence, you can experience bliss—experience God—be God. ‘This striving for reunion is in everything that has been created. Every creature seeks its complementary half in order to re-unite with it. The positive male forms seek the negative-female forms and vice versa. This tendency on the part of positive and negative force even makes up the basic structure of matter. In actual fact, there couldn’t be any matter at all without this tendency; for this striving towards unity—towards the state of being God—makes up the attractive power between positive and negative forces, and the whole world is built on this striving to attain the divine, primordial state. This striving itself is the source of all power in the manifested world. Nature uses it and, projected into the body, it is the basis of sexual power. ‘As long as a creature seeks its complementary half outside itself, in the created, recognizable world, it will never find unity, simply because its complementary half isn’t outside itself, manifested, separate from itself, but on the contrary, unseparated from itself, in its own unmanifested part, in its unconscious! No creature could exist if it did not have its other half in the unmanifested. Take yourself for example, little daughter. The opposite of everything you are and manifest in your conscious part is contained in your unconscious part which nevertheless belongs to you, and which you are just as much as you are your conscious, manifested part. You don’t find your complementary part outside yourself—in a man of flesh and blood, for example, but in the unconscious part of your true self. When you unite in your consciousness two halves of yourself, you’ve found your way back into the infinite all and nothing, you’ve become identical with God again! ‘Through this union which takes place in your consciousness, the eternal longing of your manifested being ceases because it has found its complementary half and merged into unity with it; and for this reason the sexual desire of your body also ceases once and for all. You become complete within yourself. Right here in this physical existence, you experience the divine state: Immortality, bliss—fulfilment! And inasmuch as the same one, individual being lives in all creatures, you simultaneously become identical with the true self of every creature when you awaken within your own true self. You will achieve unity with God and simultaneously unity with the entire universe. You will lift your consciousness out of your body, out of your personal being, and experience all-inclusive cosmic consciousness. You will feel yourself as the “I”—the self—in every creature, in the entire universe, in God. This means you will again be eating of the fruit of the tree of life! Then you will have moved out of the world of effects into the world of causes, out of the realm of the transitory into the realm of the eternal, out of the created into the creative, out of the realm of death into the realm of life. In short, you will have achieved your resurrection in eternal being. And that is initiation!’ Ptahhotep ceases speaking. But I see this divine unity manifested in the impenetrable depths of his heavenly eyes. Endless happiness, calm and peace radiate forth from his eyes into my soul. In his glance I see the fulfilment of truth. He blesses me and I leave.
  3. Everything you do is mechanical in that sense. Your breathing, walking, eating, writing, and thinking, is mechanical and repetitive. Why do you not complain about breathing? You will not get around this "mechanical" nature of reality. Studying biology will not get you anywhere because it's just delving deeper into the illusion of the dream. You have to wake up from your own self-deception. Your problem is assuming that you are an animal in a real world and that truth can be approached from studying the world from a scientific perspective. These "avatars" lives are even more mechanical as they involve nothing but sitting and spreading abstract notions of reality. These people don't have a clue about what consciousness is. I know most sex is just casual and is not very deep. Even most psychedelic users don't get very deep into consciousness, this depth applies to any topic or subject in reality, not just sex. But it doesn't have to be that way. I would never have sex in some normal kind of relationship where there was no deeper connection. Sex can be about intimacy, vulnerability, and connection, and even transcendence of boundaries and dualities. You can even look into tantra and see how it can be used for spirituality and even enlightenment, though I am not interested in tantra personally as I am able to have a very deep and meaningful sexual experience without relying on methods of others. Sexual pleasure can be a small glimpse into the absolute bliss of complete nondual union, if you find the correct person. Sex can also be very beautiful. To say that sex is low consciousness is merely because the people you are having sex with are low consciousness, not that the activity itself is. It's all about the right person who has the right connection and right level of consciousness. Your idea that you are an animal doing a reproductive function is merely a story that has no basis in direct experience, but you don't have the eyes to see what is actually going on because you have not found a correct partner or your state of consciousness is lacking.
  4. @Javfly33 @Javfly33 Short answer yes, but not as intense mostly. For me in the evening/ night time it is very easy. Through holding conversations with people or intensly listening to them, dancing, sex, looking someone in the eyes. Definetly tho my meditation creates much more psychedelic like bliss states. I don't view my practise as something I do to reach enlightenment or chase anything. For me it just makes my life flow more and I feel much more I'm in control of my energies. One goal I have is to live more with a quiet mind. Karma yoga is helping me do that. But it seems there is much more to learn and transcend. I'm always talking to myself in my mind, sometimes less, sometimes more. I really want to find a way to be quiet. If someone can give me tips on that I would appreciate.
  5. @Sukhpaal anytime bro, happy to see you are actually doing the practices. That's the way to go if you want to improve your life rapidly. Can't wait until your kundalini awakens and you bliss out to the stars ?
  6. Can you get into bliss states without meditation? As far as I'm concerned the point of the practices are to build the skill of producing those states not just when you are doing the practice. Still a good achievement tho', not trying to downplay it, just talking about what is possible).
  7. The advantages of liberation is sat-chit ananda - eternity, knowledge and bliss. Imo, liberation means to conquer death. Have you overcome your fear of death yet ? If not then you are not liberated .
  8. Yogic practises can help you to gain mastery over your body. I never understand the argument, just do psychedelics, they are more powerful. Why not do both? What better things you are doing when you're not on psychedelics? Everyone has time for these practises and they are very helpful in rasising your baseline level of consciousness and you can definetly have awakenings with these practises. I do a combination of hatha yoga, pranayama kriyas, meditatation, psychedelics and self inquiry. I had awakenings in all of them. The psychedelic awakenings are the highest experiences and they make all the other practises much more powerful. However the awakening from the Kriyas are much more valueable, as I learned from them to go into bliss states whenever I want within 10-20 minutes doing meditation, as I Iearned from them how to hold the body, how to breath. So stick with whatever practise you enjoy doing and that work for you. For me the more powerful one is Shakti Chalana Kriya learned from Sadhgurus Shoonya Intesive course. But there are probably many good ones out there.
  9. Im talking about being god realized/enlightened as daily base consciousness. A true saint is like 1 in 10.000.000 , not even talking about enlightened ones. They can't even work because they're in bliss consciousness and one with everything at these levels usually god operates through them. So truely i tell to you no1 is at this level on this forum maybe Leo only because the way he talks like a channel for god for hours if he does it without psychedelics he might be at a level of saint or enlightened
  10. Maybe of interest to some It began with the realization, that death is coming. The end is near, much closer than expected. Why? Because I will be submerged in the ocean within thirty seconds - I live on an island, and I see a walls of waves higher than the island coming from all directions. I sat down at a table with 3 teachers. I had to choose one of them as my personal mentor. I made my choice, and we all joined by the hands, calmly awaiting death as the waves crashed. When the pain of it should have started, bliss surrounded us. The ocean was full of innocent love. I saw an orca approaching me and opening its mouth. Instead of avoiding, I entered with confidence and surrender. Then arose the Unspeakable. The God in his Glory. Infinite Beauty in its highest form. The shining of the thousand suns as described in the Bhagavad Gita. I had a mandala made that looks somewhat similar, but not dynamic and made out of light and infinitely creative. Image attached. And that was not the end because I was reborn. Birth is just a new hallucination instead of the older one - beuty changes his clothes and puts on a dream. Oneness becomes separate. I saw how the dream is created in the present moment - the whole process of it manifesting out of Love and Light. I sit in that new dream - a new universe altogether, in the corner of a room, on the same island as previously. The Island is the island of Madeira. The year is 1961, but there are technologies that we have in 2022. I'm still in an extremely high state, and I realize that I can change my body as I want. I start creating myself anew, the perfect form within the human domain. And then forgetfulness happened, and then I came back to this dream here. On a different note - I think that dancing alone, for the pure enjoyment of moving your body to the rhythm of the song, to express the emotion within the song with motions in your body, is the highest form of worshipping God within the domain of form, when you are still stuck in a human body. It's a symbolic representation of heaven because it's self-gratifying, solo (solips..) , beautiful, has a depth of emotions, and is alive. That's it papi, have a good day.
  11. Hey, are you blissing out during those sessions and during the day? When I bliss out, there is no attraction for those things, because they would reduce your pleasure, not increase it. Plus its kinda bothersome, you have to do something. Why do anything when you got what its all about when you close your eyes and stay still? Anyway.. that is one point. Another is that you are probably raising your sexual energy upwards, consequentally there is less energy buildup in the lower chakras, so you dont feel that significant of a pull towards porn. But I dunno for sure whatsup.
  12. Only pursue this work, when you are ready to go all the way. Spirituality is all about going all the way. Would you talk to a romantic partner you like only partially? Or would you go all the way? Would you negotiate for a car you desire that you can afford and need and then not go all the way? Would you take a test for a certification you desire that you studied for...and then stop before its finished? Spirituality....is the most dangerous thing in the entire world. More dangerous than a nuke, than World War 3, than another pandemic. Its the TRUTH. Its the answer to all the big existential questions....about death, about the building block of reality, about humanities potential next step in their development process, and the meaning of your life. If you aren't ready for that...go enjoy your life in ignorance and bliss!!! You should only do the work.....when you are ready to sacrifice EVERYTHING....and I mean....EVERYTHING!!! Obviously....you don't have too do that....but the will needs to be that strong to go all the way.
  13. This is a monologue to get everything out of my head and to look at it from a bit of distance from whatever emotions are being stirred up at the time of the thought process. I'm trying to get to the end of searching but, I'm not done yet. I'm 26 years old and I didn't really start socialising properly until i was 18 back in 2014 when i went to college and then university. The same year I discovered this channel and fell in love with it. This channel came to me when I needed it the most, when I was 17 I didn't want to live anymore I was so isolated, felt miserable constantly , had to structure to my day or vision for anything I didn't think life was inherently not worth living, but that my life was pointless I had nothing going on and no-one to talk to. I did have my family which is brought me back from taking my own life , i had no social life but a really loving family. I realised I didnt really want to die when I put a plan into motion so the option was to get on with life and try have a go at it. just before moving away for college I discovered this channel In august 2014 I was searching for something like how to socialise or something and a bald guy with a catchy title was close to the top. Leo gave great advice which i followed partially, but since my brain is too logical and self focused it can only help so much, my brain loves models, but models don't work so well with socialising as people act based on feeling not based on procedures and rules, to neurotypicals, rules are just guidelines, they will break them if is unproductive, but i need to know whats going on and whats happening next so i clung close to those procedues which would frustrate people as following the rule and impose on people and breach social cues. Luckily i found a tribe that accepted me and put up with my awkwardness. I got some sexual experience with escorts so I would know about each act when it came down to having sex not transanctionally, people may judge me for that but i did the right thing, being a virgin meant I would be out of the loop and would further alienated my ability to relate to women, I just dont delve into my sexual past when they ask ignorance is bliss as they say I certainly dont want to know whos shes been with. Another problem with autism is lack of empathy or struggling with it, with autism theres more of a self focus and you think about whats practical for you rather than how other people think and feel about the situation, its not narcissism where you think you're more important than them but, more a self focus so you misread peoples social cues about what they're really communicating or what they expect from you, my autism wasnt so bad that people totally rejected me but I understand there frustration at me. I had very little girl experience at 18, kissed a couple of girls at school and had crushes, but i never really chatted and flirted with them properly, I was mostly in my head day dreaming about the cosmos and philosophy. When I first started college a girl from our friendship group must have found me cute has she dm'd me on facebook with kissess asking what i was up to but i gave the most friendliest response I was completely oblivious. I wasn't interested in her anyway thats probably why i didn't pick up on it, I don't tend to notice unless i like them as well. I'd say I don't really get interested in a girl until she shows me interest, BUT when she does show interest my logical brain concludes 'the deal is done' and I should start making a 10 step action plan to get to know them and make it work, but thats not how it works attraction is more of a sliding scale you can gain attraction, you can loose attraction its not one or the other, so being overly concerned with the action plan made me come across as too needy as I was more focused on that than being fun and letting them fall for me, so when they lost attraction I would forget about them as they are no longer showing interest which would make them interested in me again as now I've forgotten about the action plan and gone back to my normal goofball self, but then when shes shows interest again my logical brain goes back to the action and destroys the attraction again, at this point shes not going to try another time. My brain is like LOOK LADY U EITHER LIKE ME OR NOT , DAFUQ IS GOING ON HERE" . I suppose since men like a girls looks and general vibe getting to know them isnt so much as an interest but for women it is, they want to fall in love, they want a deep connection of someone they feel really bonded to. I suppose the autistic brain being heavily self focused just is just oblivious to the females agenda and thinks of her agenda as the same as his. I had my first girlfriend at 18 which last about a month, we never had sex, she had learning difficulties as well not sure what, possibly autism, but she was on learning support at college so on a lower level than everyone else suppose its more like high school what she was doing, she couldn't make eye contact which was something I never really struggled with. At the end of the day we just weren't compatible but logical brain felt like a failure for not making it work and that it was my fault, when she backed away I thought I would be romantic and surprise visit her which just frustrated her as i was picking up on social cue that she was backing away, but my logical brain was like Ill just try a bit harder and try and do things better, I suppose you could class it as mild stalking , but that wan't my intention I was just socially cluesless and without experience. I suppose the same goes for friendships as well you either gel or you dont no about of trying to make things work or strategizing with get you a friendship, I suppose i didnt want sex and intimacy from my friends so I wasn't so bothered about that not working, I want some i gel with for a friend, but I'd try it with any woman as I had to get the experience points and be established. I feel if society didnt put so much pressure on guys to have sex this wouldn't be so much of a problem, everyone makes fun of the looser male virgin and now we have an incel crisis. I would say thats the biggest lesson I've learnt you either gel or you don't , stratergising doesnt work and if they have the hots for you and you have great convo then she will do her part as you will yours, just like how you make friends but in more of a romantic a sexual way, mother nature does all of the heavy lifting. My final issue would be unwiring unhealthy social conditioning, when I was at school the incelphere was just coming about I couldn't fathom what it would be like to be at school now with the likes of andrew tate being endlessly shared on social media with isolate individuals, its not even about how to pick up women its just pure hatred , hatred for its own sake destroy the enemy just because i'm not included in society. I grew up in the countryside and being autistic ( although I didnt get diaginosed until 21 , i never fitted in, my friends left me behind at seconadary school as that is when you start socialising properly, I hung around with a few outcast kids , but i fell out with them as they fired at me with bb guns and with autism having a greater sense of senisitvity that quite upset me where as it wouldn't so much for a neuro typical, i was embarrased that it upset me so it just withdrew completely socially at 14, and discovered reddit, i developed quite cosmopolitan and left wing views since i never fitted in, i say that is a blessing in a sense since that drew me away from the racist backwards small minded farming community that I lived in. If i was neuro- typical id be some intollerant people hating farmer , the farming community dont like anyone thats not themselves , they're very tribal in that regard , its not just hating on foreign and not white people, they also hate city and town folk for not understanding and belong to their farming culture, so I'm glad my autism saved me from that. I didn't know about autism at school I got diagnosed at 21 after a college friend mentioned he just recently got his diagnosis after his father spotted the signs, I was much more social than him, i'd put it down to my obsession with sex, you need to socialise to have sex, but I also wanted to be a part of something so i was motivated to get male friends as well. Me not understanding why i was ostracized as i didnt know about autism brought me into hate filled communities on reddit, i suspect most of them are on the spectrum as well, when you dont understand something its easy just to blame people, they aren't accepting me so they are whats at fault, I remember in the mens right subreddit when there was some clip of some quiet kid being picked on for not following a social norm people would be like "this is why mass shootings happen" this was pretty much the hive mind and its epidemic, I'm glad i got out of those echo chambers and made some real friends. I GOT A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE
  14. "Still, our Steppenwolf has at least discovered a Faustian duality within himself, has found out that no unified soul inhabits the single entity that is his body and that at best he is just starting out on a long pilgrimage towards such an ideal inner harmony. He would like either to become wholly human by conquering the wolf in himself, or conversely to renounce his human side in order at least to live an integrated, undivided life as a wolf. He has presumably never observed a real wolf closely, otherwise he might have seen that animals too have no such things as unified souls; that the beautiful, taut frames of their bodies house a whole variety of aspirations and states of mind; that wolves suffer too, having dark depths within them. Oh no, human beings are always desperately mistaken and bound to suffer when they try to get 'back to nature'. Harry can never fully become a wolf again, and if he did he would realise that even wolves are not simple and primitive creatures but complex and many-sided. Wolves also have two and more than two souls in their wolves' breasts, and anyone desiring to be a wolf is guilty of the same kind of forgetfulness as the man who sings 'What bliss still to be a child!' The likeable but sentimental chap wih his song about the blissfully happy child would also like to get back to nature, to his innocent origins, but he has totally forgotten that children are by no means blissfully happy. Rather, they are capable of many conflicts, a host of contradictory moods, suffering of all kinds. There is no way back at all, either to the wolf or the child. Things do not begin in innocence and simplicity; all created beings, even the ostensibly simplest, are already guilty, already full of contradictions. Cast into the muddy stream of becoming they can never, never hope to swim back up against the current. The road to innocence, to the state before creation, to God, doesn't run backwards, either to the wolf or the child, but forwards, further and further into guilt, deeper and deeper into the experience of becoming fully human. Nor is suicide, poor Steppenwolf, a serious solution to your problem. You will just have to go down the longer, more onerous, more difficult road to becoming truly human. You will frequently have to multiply your two selves, make your already complex nature a great deal more complicated. Instead of making your world more confined and your soul simpler you are going to have to include more and more world, ultimately the entire world in your soul as it painfully expands, until one day, perhaps, you reach the end and find rest. This, in so far as they succeeded in the venture, is the path taken by Buddha, by all great human beings, some knowingly, others unconsciously. Every birth entails separation from the cosmos, enclosure within limits, isolation from God, painful self-renewal. Returning to the cosmos, overcoming the painful experience of individuation, achieving God-like status: all these entail an expansion of the soul to the point where it is once again able to contain the whole cosmos within itself." Steppenwolf, Hermann Hesse
  15. @Leo Gura Ok, I have to post and share my thoughts on this. I rarely make posts here anymore and this will be my last. Your videos helped me a lot years ago when I was in a bad place, for that I will always be grateful. I am saying this as someone who wishes you the best truly. Take the advice or not, it's your life. You seriously need to take a break from substances and this forum, and being a public figure in general, imo. You complained some days ago that the criticism posted was too much on your psyche and now you are a bliss bunny and likely you will crash again. You are too ungrounded and have worked way too little on embodiment practices. The balance between major ungrounded psychedelic experiences and embodied practices and integration are drifting further and further apart, and from someone who is looking at this from a distance it is becoming blatantly obvious. Please relax, take a break, and work on embodiment, because that is your biggest blind spot. People that are cheering you on about this are not your friends, and likewise, you people that are cheering Leo on are not in a good trajectory spiritually speaking. This is turning into a potentially very harmful thing. My 2 cents, call me close-minded if you want. Be well, Leo. Thanks for everything.
  16. So we are just the awareness. Just the present moment? So detach from the idea that reality is real & only a dream or a fantasy? Stop taking life so seriously & have fun? Words help with the visualization/manifestation process and describing what it is we want to actualize into the fantasy? No free will? Damn I thought free will was the real deal So follow your bliss & where your heart takes you to go with it. Follow your heart. Speak from the heart. Do what you love. Doing what you love, with people that you love, expressing creativity with love. Being your true self. Who you were made to be. Which all of this is reconnecting to self-love? -- I think a big part of self-love is reconnecting with emotions and feelings. How can you follow your feelings if you can't have self-trust because feelings were shamed? I grew up being addicted to video games so never truly had a chance to have emotional awareness because of neglect from family. Weren't too many role models that taught healthy expressions. Mostly cold distant responses. Leading to domino effect or affect with self-abandonment/self-neglect which is nearly the opposite of self-love. Creating "Autism" or "ADHD".. or "Flat Affects" when really it's all emotional numbness and blunting b/c of self-hate. The self-hate is there because of social programming. Then it goes back as far as the human condition caused this. The creation of self-deception. Which even then to go another layer is to examine the entire concept of duality and how the mind split from source. Then to go beyond duality and ego construct & self-construct which I believe that's what you're pointing to? Non-duality or no self. Just beingness. Like a heard of cows in a field doing their thing or a group of fish swimming together or clouds floating around. Which is oneness which is god which is nothingness which is beyond words. Which is just an experience or a movie? So it would be like there's a video game & you can play the campaign which is following your inner guidance system - Emotions which leads you closer to your true self or self-realization/actualization. -- Also, congratz on getting the job that you mentioned.
  17. There are no enlightened person, and no states of bliss or pure joy. Awakening/Enlightenment is also not about transforming the inner world, even if it is a common side effect. The real problem about this forum is that the members are too invested in mental masturbation/gymnastics, or just in communicating endlessly about matters that no concept can touch and that their time will be more fruitful in just sitting silently.
  18. Because people are being mislead about enlightenment. But enlightenment is when you let go of your need to understand infinity. For example im able to enter a stillness that I could only by accident enter for a very short time before, and it usually came after an extremely depressive mood. Now I can do it willingly, although still only for short periods of time, and do so whenever I remember to. Up until now I have been attempting to 'improve the dream' but realised that is my error, and in this stillness or awareness there is no dream, there is just awareness. Everything seems clear, and there is a sense of lightness and a subtle feeling of joy that it is similar to feelings I had in childhood. I'm more 'myself' than ever before. At the moment I bob between this level of awareness and being lost in my mind. My mind feels sharper though, and I'm more aware of my imperfections. Of course. Because we are all one . I'm you and you are me. What's left after this realization than to fall in love with each other for the rest of eternity(I mean unconditionallove not gay love ?)? If you've reached a state of pure joy and bliss, you don't need to go anywhere from there. That is the state of Brahman. The outer world won't change, but your inner world is no longer the same. You will keep coming back to the state of Brahman because it is your real identity.
  19. 6 months ago I left my home, business and everything I’ve ever known and loved to pursue my dream and purpose. After about a month my motivation and confidence started to decline and things started getting really bad. I was alone (literally - I lived in my van) for months, I old patterns of anxiety started to creep back in. Fast forward 4 months to present time and things have gotten significantly worse. I haven’t gotten a single client or made a single dollar off of my life purpose. I am completely out of money - at 36 yes old I am broke, no savings, nothing! All of my mental Illnesses are coming back full force! I have regressed to who I was 10 years ago, panicked, depressed and hopeless. I thought I did everything right - I did the work, I had the courage, I made the leap of faith - only to fall flat on my face! No one who knows me understands me or my purpose. Everyone wants me to give up, grow up and get a normal job and stop chasing dreams. My gf doesn’t trust me any longer bc I’m not confident in my pursuits any more. I’m stuck! And I mean like for real stuck! I can’t move; I sit inside all day thinking up ways to move forward and then dont take action. I feel too fucked up and depressed to do anything. I don’t have a home or know where I will stay but that’s not even enough motivation to get a job. I have a college education and am capable I’d rather die in the street than go backwards. I blow up over the smallest shit - my gf probably hates me at this point. I used to be so chill and now I’m a nervous wreck! I am mad at the world, my mentors, every self help author and my self. “Just surrender and accept bro” Go fuck yourself! I never should have started self actualizing or following my “path.” It’s way to difficult! Worst of all there’s no turning back - I’m stuck watching my depression and anxiety with full awareness. Stuck watching the disgusting world . And if you think that’s all it takes to release you of them then you’re just as stupid as I am. As someone who’s been at this work for over 7 years and tried to do the right thing - don’t! Do what everyone else is doing! Trust me you will be happier. The little moments of bliss are bullshit! They will disappear faster than our democracy is about to. The advice gurus and experts give you are WRONG! They got lucky as fuck or are trying to make a buck. I truly so hate this world and the people in it. I didn’t always but I do now. Not bc of my own situation but because I can see with eyes wide open. It’s discussing- I can’t wait for it to be over
  20. Sounds like a great trip. Bliss, joy and love is the best feeling during or even after tripping.
  21. (effective dose was about 80 ug of 1V LSD) There's a lot I could write about this experience. So many things happened and were experienced, it's a bit of a wild mixture. It was the first time I actually experienced "trippy" things and the mind fuck of what consciousness is and what my own mind is. At some point I started seeing patterns arise above whichever background I was looking at, the wall, the carpet, the ceiling. Certain geometries started to arise and fit themselves in the existing geometry of the background, the things started to merge and "warp". At some point I just wanted to look at my hand. So I saw my hand and the patterns on it (the hand lines, wrinkles etc.). Again new patterns or geometry was created, fitting itself within the geometry of my hand lines, creating an entirely new image that kept evolving. Then one moment later my hand kind of just disappeared. It was still there, but blended so perfectly into the background that it became practically invisible. It was like I could see through my hand. But it kept reappearing and everytime immediately new patterns were projected onto the hand (or just created there) and then it merged with the background again. This was already such a mind fuck. Just my own hand became this huge experience...it seemed to last very long. Vague faces would start to appear within the patterns of my hand, blending in, being created, being destroyed, some moment looking friendly, then neutral, then serious/evil. One minute of looking at my hand felt like almost an hour had passed. I felt like I could have walked down any of these small routes and immersed myself with it. E.g. had I chosen to put more attention on the evil looking little faces they would have become more, and more evil too. I just didn't decide to go all the way into this "little evil faces on my hand" experience. It felt like this was the beginning of insanity, just potentially though, I didn't feel insane, I also didn't feel bad or anything, but I could grasp how a certain mind might go down the route of insanity, how it could get lost in whatever kind of idea it might want to think of. Just getting more and more obsessed with something. Then my hand all of a sudden looked tiny, like the hand of a baby. It seemed like there was no more "scale", like you/I couldn't really tell how big or small things were. Just totally weird ? My room, which in reality is about 15 feet long and wide could now be several miles long and wide, or just one inch. There's no way tell. Each perception is correct but also wrong. Some time much later in the trip I looked at an image of a girl, and it all became so trippy. One moment the girl had a smile, the next instant the looked evil. Then she looked like a cute cheerleader kind of girl and then very serious. All of this just kept on moving and progressing. "Evil witch girl" => "cute innocent girl" => "girl with new face" "girl with another face" => "girl suddenly wearing different clothes" => "patterns arising around the girl but girl staying there in the center" => "serious girl" => "girl completely disappearing and merging with background patterns". "Girl staying present but growing small little devil's horns on her head and the colour of her outfit changing and warping and merging, appearing and disappearing. It was like many hundred of these small alterations were experienced, but each moment was an experience in it's own right. Each moment had the potential to become like it's own little universe, an experience to completely get lost in. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ At some point I just contemplated about different fears or insecurities. And whatever arose was just there, it was just experienced and felt the way it was. It's such a mind fuck to consciously contemplate about one of your fears and just completely, mindfully observe it. You just stare in the eye of the fear. And nothing happens, it's all ok however it is, the body feels unpleasant, so you observe the unpleasantness, which becomes an experience in it's on right. The unpleasant body sensation is just there, but it doesn't even really make sense anymore. You just observe it. "Unpleasant" has lost it's meaning. There's nothing unpleasant there, there's just experience, just sensation, just some energy, just now, the present moment however it is. The concepts like "not good enough" don't even make logical sense anymore. There's just some energy to be observed and experienced, that's all (it's hard to describe what I really mean here). And then just continuously experiencing the sensations of that fear. It's scary but also liberating. The fear loses a lot of it's power when you can observe it with so much presence. Crazy stuff... ____________________________________________________________________________________________ At another point I also experienced ecstasy, joy, Bliss and love. I had started to meditate and then later listening to inspirational instrumental music feeling into the music, feeling the love and just being grateful for existence. Being grateful for having "a life", as in a conscious experience at all. The music deepened these positive emotions of love, bliss, joy for life and became a new experience. Just imagine listening to the track I will link below (Gladiator, now we are free) and experiencing every second of it. Every 20 seconds of the track seeming like hours and hours. Feeling all the love and joy in it. All the love of whoever created this music, how they must have felt, then just being completely immersed in the music, feeling free, feeling the NOW. It seemed like the track would never end, but it was amazing like this. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Ok, I'd say that's about it. A lot more could be told but I would keep writing forever, so let's just end it here. Have a great day! https://youtu.be/ghxzLw2wRis
  22. Tony is referring to Jim Newman. Tony is actually a real grouch at times. Jim’s laugh is even more infectious, and he has a lot more patience. I’ve been to one of Tony’s meetings and a few people walked out. They were visibly angry and upset that Tony claimed not to have any awareness. They said it was the most ridiculous thing they’d ever heard. it almost got a little heated. On a Jim Newman retreat I had a very significant breakthrough. The final layer of the onion peeled away. My most significant breakthroughs ever were: - 6 gram blindfolded psilocybin: Total bliss / terror / fucking unfathomable depths of agonising love God awakening, completely forgot I was a human being, felt like I had gone to another dimension for a million years. Coming back was dumbfounding. Utterly life changing. - Vipassana retreat. On day 7 after 60+ hours of motionless meditation, I realised I could sit through any amount of physical pain - even pure agony - and remain totally blissed out, not needing to adjust my position in any way, because it became suddenly startlingly obvious that I was not the body. I was smiling from ear to ear after this one. - Jim Newman retreat. The complete disappearance of the subject. Can’t even get it back if I tried, as there is no me left to try. Emotionally this was nothing compared to either of the above, but it was in a strange way the most profound. The end of seeking any meaning or purpose in anything. AMA ;-)
  23. Sounds similar to what I've experienced twice on THC (one time oil, one time a single vape hit), minus the samadhi. I didn't let go, I just used music to try and hold on and ride the waves. 95% waves of anxiety and terror, 5% pure bliss and maybe a slight hint at no-self. About 6 hours of just trying to hold onto reality until I could finally sleep it off. I thought maybe it was just since I did concentrated THC. So I've been considering trying actual marijuana to see if I handle it any better. But if you got that fucked up on the actual plant then I'm gonna pass hahaha. Also if weed hits me this hard, I'm terrified to ever try mushrooms or DMT now. I don't get how anyone can do weed recreational and just sit on the couch relaxed and laughing. Although with both THC oil and vaping THC, there were multiple times where I took it and nothing happened before my blastoff experiences. Then I took a similar dose and it messed me up bigly. So I kind of have a theory that it builds up on my cannabinoid receptors or w/e and then all gets released at once when I hit a certain threshold. No idea if there's any truth or science to that though.
  24. Just wanted to share my experience of going to a talk of sadhgurus tonight in LA. I never seen him in person until today. My logical mind has always doubted in some way the pranic energy and so fourth and today i got a heavy reality check. The talk was great but the part that really through me off was the meditation part. I had always heard in videos people shouting and crying and what not. Im a pretty serious person and was just expecting a little peace from the meditation at most....wrong. When sadhguru began to chant and hit certain notes I felt my hands supercharged with a very powerful electric/static/numb sensation. Similar to when your foot falls asleep and its a very intense energy. I lost control of the body and I cried hysterically while my breathing took on its own sputtering rhythm. My body naturally wanted to curl to the fetal position. Legs flapping about hitting the people next to me. As for my mind, I was totally at ease, this didnt really come with any emotions or bliss id say. I was very detatched and could only watch this happen with no say in what would come. I managed to bring my spine back to an upright position but as the chant continued my body just crumpled like a can and I cried. Needless to say, very strange to go through with no attachment or seeming involvement. Im very glad I now know this energy is a thing and look forward to delving into it. Why do u guys think sadhguru does this energy amplification to us? To show us the possibility? Most people there didnt seem too seriously on the path. Let me know if any of youve had similar experiences in general or explanations to this.
  25. Hehe ? It would not really matter, wouldn't it? Suppose all cats are enlightened or can gain enlightenment, then what? They speak cat language and we find that hard to comprehend. We understand only the basics and the clear signs. It would not help us in any way. So maybe a cat can achieve cat enlightenment. Also animals tend to have a quit mind relative to humans .A mind that is quiet, not attached to the past, or to projections of the future from the past can see the present moment as it is without the domination of the past experiences. If it sees someone is crying then it will attempt to comfort them if it’s possible, if it sees someone is yelling at them it will try to learn why without any desire to escape or transcend the situation. If it feels it is doing something that is not helpful, it will stop doing it. When there is no personal agenda attached to a situation, the situation is seen in its entirety and not from a limited motive, that is the small difference in seeing between human minds and animal minds. But you are right in that it lacks the conceptual understanding ..but does it really matter? Do you prefer to have peace of mind and inner bliss for the rest of your life or to gain a complete conceptual understanding of all reality? Think about it deeply .its no easy question.