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I've been thinking about this for a bit since the need to survive leads to a lot of devilry in the world. Then I thought of animals trying to survive and noticed that they do it differently. They do it gracefully, spontaneously. In fact, survival is a dance of consciousness, so it can't be condemned entirely. So then I noticed that there's two types of survival. Physical survival, and egoic survival. If you're keeping your body alive and you're awakened, it's not necessarily selfish since you'd actually be a blessing to everyone else around you. Fueling the ego's need to survive is what's selfish. Thoughts?

Lol I've been happy. I don't know why this forum is what it is lately, so you tell me since I'm new? Anytime I listen to an individual who has awakened or has been awakening such as Eckhart or Rupert, my first curiosity is what does an individual like that think about the right vs. left or Trump especially? Because if they start bashing Trump but never the left as well, then my ego automatically assumes oh man...yup...they're a leftist which decreases their credibility.

Today I have awakened to my whole bed wet

Are you familiar with the research of Steve Taylor? He is a spiritual psychologist who has researched awakening experiences. I saw a talk from him a few months ago, where he mentioned one woman that he interviewed who awakened after learning that she had terminal cancer. It dramatically and permanently changed her view of reality, and she lived in a state of joy until she finally passed. Since my awakening in May, my suffering has reduced dramatically. I do have an ego attack once in a while, and am working on dissolving my remaining attachments, but my natural state is mostly free from suffering. It is a paradigmatic transformation that I never could have anticipated, or knew was possible. I no longer identify with my thoughts, nor do I look for happiness outside of myself. My lifestyle has completely changed. I still honor life, but I take it much less seriously. I realize that "I" is just a transitional label, and that "my" identity is the same changeless reality that imbues all things. I had mini-awakenings numerous times during my life, like many people do, but this was different. It was a direct realization that was a seismic and permanent shift in Consciousness.

Pete Docter , producer of Inside Out and Soul, is awakened to the nature of the mind. And he is what I would call a Christian mystic. "To me art is about expressing something that can’t be said in literal terms. You can say it in words, but it’s always just beyond the reach of actual words,." - Pete Docter

I, personally, haven't seen much of that myself. The majority here seem to adhere to some unspoken rule about never revealing anything about yourself, good or bad, highly probable or mildly probable.. I can't speak for all of them, but from what I've observed there's a few categories people here fall into: Know nothing of Spiral Dynamics. Just here for emotional support. Judgemental & sensitive. No interest in debate or logic. Kids /adults with serious issues. Any age, really, but mostly between around 13 and 20. Almost always know little to nothing about any sort of model. Just here to make threads about "picking women up" or "how to win fights" or some stupid shit like that.. Kids who make threads like what you'd see on /r/Im14andthisisdeep. The guy you can't believe is on a spirituality forum. Almost always stage orange, sometimes even red.. Will go out of their way to attack if you say the "wrong" thing. Is unable to comprehend the idea of non-duality and believes anyone claiming to understand is is lying. "Interesting theory you have there". They make no attempt to really understand any model properly. Have little interest in learning, enjoy simply lurking. Low energy. Might occasionally start an unoriginal thread & ignore half the people who respond. Spirituality is still far too abstract to really engage with it. It's just some fun thought-exercises to them. Enlightenment is in the same realm as magic to them, not something you can actually aim for. The "cold, materialistic, unhappy" guy. Around the peak of stage orange. Will likely turn green soon. The "harmony > logic" kind. Dislike of any sort of divergence from the status quo. Similar to category 5, but more sensitive and have slightly higher levels of energy. They are interested in spirituality, and like to talk about it, but have a dislike for any new/contrary information. They want you to parrot old, many times repeated ideas already familiar to everyone. Unoriginality looks like "harmony" & "safety" to them. The low energy senior. Many of the mods fall into this category. They don't really care about any of the discussions or theories. Only that the significant minority of stage green on this forum stays happy and doesn't hear anything that may trigger it (wouldn't want people challenging each other's beliefs and learning, now would we?). People in this category would never be caught debating, or trying to educate people. After all, that would open them up to public scrutiny. And if one of them ever admits to being Tier 2.. "OH.. GOD!! THE HORROR!!!! They're eating the boy alive!!!!" People in this category are well aware of this eventuality, and the very thought itself is enough to kill any hope for freedom they may have once held. The unaware, yet relatively mature kind. They think they're orange/green/yellow/turquoise, but are (usually) 2 stage below. This is a weird group. They often call themselves "awakened". Same stage as category 6, just a different personality. They're the kind of people that watch some "spiritual youtube influencer" and when they like what they hear, they think think they're turquoise. You can immediately identify them by the distinct lack of "depth" to them. You can always see it in their eyes. It's just a type of shallowness and naiveness. They also always, without exception, parrot ideas from "gurus" and present them as the objective truth. If they follow some online guru influencer, they will always refer back to them, as a substitute for actual logic/reasoning/evidence. Spirituality is treated much like a religion by people at this category. Faith in their guru is everything. These types will also have a tendency to judge people who don't "act" the way they want. There's a reason these people move to India and seek out Gurus, or want to become monks, or want to learn Sanskrit (as they think it itself is somehow spiritual..) Well aware of their own level of development but not interested in anyone's progress. Might occasionally make a short post without any depth. This is the first category in which people may create their own ideas and perceptions of things. Capable of completely disregarding the status quo. Their true, unrestricted personality is starting to come through, but their ego still prevents them from being publicly open/genuine/emotional. Still clinging to own humanity. Still holding grudges and struggling with fully integrating other people's perspectives. Well aware of their own level of development. Desire to keep learning and challenging themselves, as well as everyone else. I came; I saw; I conquered bolted the fuck outta here. Giving up. Letting the problems be and being happily indifferent. Dropping humanity to inspire humanity to drop itself too; to show that it it's ok to. To stop holding yourself hostage. These are the Stage of Actualized.org. The most common ones being 8, 7, 9, 6, 5. What you were describing would fall under 7. Should should, in theory, be a bunch of arrogant 7s, but I haven't seen any yet. Most 7s are genuine stage Green. Not according to any cognitive model I know of.. Women are just more likely to prefer using their feeling than their logic. Men have not benefitted from awareness of their own / others' emotions as much as women, so there's a greater inherent proclivity for women to do "spiritual stuff". This, of course, by not means has any bearing on their actual level of development. Also, these "spiritual women" are, mostly, just xNFPs. Pretty incompatible with most NeTi guys ..like me. I don't think you could reliably tell their personality from just their profile picture.. And I can't imagine ever meeting someone at a gym/uni/work. Would be pretty fucked up for someone to just go to a gym, approach some random woman on a treadmill and ask her about the weather.. Night clubs are probably easier, but still pretty bad (can't even hear them). Can you not see it from his perspective? He could be upper Turquoise for all you know.. If you believe in objective morality, or that what your culture says is bad is bad because it says so.. If you think that relationships have to be a "certain way", or that sex has be "something specific".. All I can say is: I don't bother with stage blue. Anyone else can fill that role. ..Maybe he just wants to fuck? You know how.. food/music can cause a pleasant sensation? Well sex is no different. Monogamy is on its way out. casual sex is just gonna continue to become more common and normal. My NeTi function stack doesn't lie. I wonder if you think VR sex is also a sin..

Well, I will argue that this does not have to be a contradiction, in theory at least. Before I start, the chance of there actually being an enlightened nazi is of course slim. I had a deep awakening to God’s perspective on good and evil. According to my awakening, there is essentially no difference. A Buddhist monk that has this awakening would continue on doing what aligns with his past routine and beliefs. So he would probably drink some tea and meditate in a nondual state. The nazi who has awakened could very well go on killing Jews left and right knowing that from an absolute perspective it makes no difference either way. A nondual nazi might actually be the worst one you encounter, for if they had the same awakening into good and evil that I had, they could kill without remorse, fear, or guilt. Most spiritual people have a few awakenings and delude themselves into thinking that it’s all about peace and love. These are more human emotional states and ideals than they are Truth. Truth exists as much in humanly conceived evil as it does in humanly conceived good, but you won’t likely hear anyone here telling you that.

Applegarden I have heard of that, but I am more curious to what one would do in a current society where it wasn't common for spiritual people to receive free meals. For example what would those awakened people do if others didn't no longer come to give them food, would they still find a way to make meals and would they do that while living fully. I am actually not looking for so much information about those extreme meditators, you know there are those who get involved in the world which are called gurus, yogis or whatever and there is a name for those that don't get so involved. I want to know more about those who was/are involved with people around them. Or rather the capability of survival in such a man in different circumstances, are there some good stories on that???

Hannah Arendt famously interviewed and studied Nazi officers after the war. What she discovered was the shocking "banality of evil." None of them was really evil. They were just being good profressional stage Blue rule followers. Mike Pence types. Your average Nazi was just a pawn in Hitler's schemes. Similar to your average Trump voter. Many German intellectuals, scientists, and philosophers were supporters of the Nazi party. Like Martin Heidegger. Because few people think for themselves about anything. Even awakened people are fucking sheep for the most part. You can be awake but social pressure will still drive you to delusion. People underestimate the power of culture and ideology. Awakening does not make you immune to cultural biases. In 500 years spiritual people will be asking, How could someone have been enlightened and still a capitalist? The same way ya'll asking about Nazis.

The thread is about wether or not “enlightened nazi” is a contradiction. There are awakened people to various levels and non-awakened people only in thought attachment to misunderstanding.

You need to come down from your absolute bubble. We are speaking in the relative plane here. There are awakened people (to various levels) and non-awakened people.

it sounds more like some sort of mental game of notions to me show me an example of an awakened nazi (closest example maybe carl jung?) in actuality and then we can start taking this notion more seriously

@Carl-Richard @Willie @Corpus Willie you said people "lived" but did they really find full expression of themselves. Let's say you see the need for food, then will the individual persue and then achieve livelihood through pure intelligence? I Leo Nordin awakened, I have not finished my studies. Because life wants to express itself however it will do, I won't be in school for much longer. My van is soon finished, I have a years worth of savings, will pure consciousness/intelligence have the capability to not make a problem out of livelihood meanwhile achieving it?

Sorry, it turned out a long one (again). @Daffcio So, here's a thought. But before that thought, let's recognize that it's impossible to say anything about your circumstance in particular as the devil is in the details, and the things mentioned in the OP can be interpreted in so many ways that any answer here will be guesses and the more confident advice is quite likely being someone else projecting their reality onto yours. Let's find a common denominator that we can agree on, and that's that you don't like being imposed on and controlled by your mother, so that's what needs to change, right, in some way. The rest is your perspective, our perspectives, and of course your mothers perspective. In the B = f(P, E) equation, B being behavior and behavior being a function of person and environment you might be able to make some sense out of this and perhaps some ideas on actions that can affect B positively. The (her) behavior (B) is readily available for your to observe, you see how she acts, you make your interpretation, and your response is that you don't like it. For a second here, before we continue, recognize that at the time she is operating through this equation on her end, you are simultaneously operating through it on your end. She (P) contains the essence of her persona, the social "programming" that started out in her early childhood and spans up until this very moment; which including all her biases, expectations, shame, guilt, judgement, labeling of what is right/wrong, good/bad, the values that drive her, and the list goes on and on. In short, what maker her her. Let's get back to how you can help change her later in this post. The circumstance she find herself in (E) which is an environment (or situation) here she is a parent and you are her child activated specific parts and flavors of her "programming" and hence f(P, E) results in what it does. Stay a moment here, and reflect over this equation. It makes it readily apparent that we are not as free as we think we are, we are largely controlled by whatever content/baggage we have in our "backpack". Switch out the P in this equation and you will get vastly different outcomes. This is just how things are, we have to accept them so that we can transcend the outcome, the behavior (B). There's a very simple profoundness in this, the challenge really lies in shifting focus from the B to the P so that we can better explore and understand the perspective that the P holds. When gaining understanding, we can better choose our own reaction to the B's. Let's go back to the B = f(P, E) and look at it from your POV. Just like she has her B which is the function of her and the environment/situation that is taking place, you have your own B that is the functional response from being you (P) and that same situation. For a moment, let's make another recognition; you are your own person AND you don't have the exact same "programming" as she does. From many aspects her values and behavior will, subconsciously (to both her and your), have been transferred to you since the moment you were born, especially throughout the formative years spanning from childhood to upper teenage years. Other things in your persona come from other influences, such as school, friends, social media, even Actualized.org. Other things may also have come about as a rebellion against traits her persona. Let's awe at the complexity that lies within the interaction between two human beings. The odds that there will be abrasions when two individuals interact is fairly high, especially when there's some sort of conflict brooding within either individual. The people we choose as friends are much at the mercy of the P's and how well aligned they turn out to be - we simply don't give people that we don't align [enough] with a chance. Parents we can't choose. Notice that the E isn't the same for you and her. For her it's a parent-child situation and it activates a multitude of programmed "scripts" within her. These scripts are running in her and they are expecting certain outcomes in order not to be considered an "error" or simply "does not compute". For you it's probable that you are considering yourself an adult and respect your freedom. Living at home with mom certainly will present some challenges when adult freedom input into parent-child scripts simply won't produce very constructive outcomes AND vice-versa, parent-child input into your adult freedom script does the same. Here's a another recognition; you cannot expect her to understand your perspective, just like she cannot expect you to understand her perspective. So what is change? Can you force her to change? If not, is moving out and cutting her off a solution? The reality we experience is created within ourselves, in our minds, based on our programming. The recognizing of us owning our P as well as the our B, we enable ourselves the ability to change ourselves in such ways that we better operate under conditions that we cannot change, or control, which are the E of our equation. So, can we change other people? Yes, in a sense we can. By changing ourselves in such ways that we produce other behavior in ourselves, we effectively change the E of the other persons equation, and the B of that other persons equation will be different. Now, we can't choose what kind of other person behavior that will result in, but we can allow ourselves to which to a sense-and-respond kind of behavioral pattern and experiment with our own behavior, note the outcomes that change produces in the other person's B. ~ In terms of perspectives, as mentioned, it is impossible to make sense of the situation itself, the devil is in the details and a devil can be awakened in any person under challenging circumstances (E). And it's clear that this is a triggering situation for the both of you. Question is what is triggering you, and how can you find out what is triggering her? Just to throw a parental perspective out there: What you describe can very well be the fear of a parent, worrying that they are not doing enough to keep you safe and "on track" with life, coming form a place of loving caring, wanting for you to be the best you can be, from her subjective POV. Fear makes us to strange things. The fear of failing as a parent is a very real thing and it can come in many different flavors. Living under the constant threat of having to experience shame and guilt in regards to ones parenting, or living with shame or guilt from recognizing something has already gone "wrong" in terms of the parents ideas of what being successful looks like, not the least your quarrels and lack of effect on the situation (her E) or you (your B and ultimately your P) makes people do things that are not very constructive in term of working towards the parents wanted outcome - it's just the f(P, E) at play. ~ A benefit of adding objective understanding to behavioral patterns and understanding of other peoples perspectives, is that it makes it easier to work with our triggers so that we can emotionally detach from the situations (E) as they arise, so that we can in a more sober way make sense of that's going on, and better choose our responses. ~ The key in personal development and self-actualization is to work with ourselves and develop ourselves. This development happens in our own equation and not in the equation of others. Yet, we tend to externalize our thoughts and find the problems out there, within others, in other things or in other circumstances. Externalizing problems cannot make change, but it certainly can escalate that problem or create more problems around it. And it certainly creates a pattern of blame and justification through which we consistently remove ourselves from any and all equations, creating a victim-hood phenomenon which quickly becomes an addiction in itself. By externalizing all problems, the ego protects itself from change and at the same time strengthen itself by adding a sense of self-importance at the same time as it is diminishing others when identifying them as being problematic. This is a pattern that we need to break, and turn to ourselves to look for changes within ourselves that moves us towards better outcomes. ~ Is the solution to tell you mother to stop controlling you? By gaining understanding of her perspective you can identify and choose responses that are constructive rather than destructive and brings you closer instead of adding distance. How? If you take a step back from the content of the situation and look at the structure of the going-on's as well as you as an individual and try to put yourself into her shoes, seeing potential perspectives of hers, what kind of answers do you come up with, that is pointing towards change within you, that can change the situation that causes her behavior (B) are she does? Sometimes, a sober, calm conversation around feelings is what the doctor orders. Without expectations from the other. Just opening the heart and vulnerably sharing ones thoughts. Finding out what those thoughts of ours are, so that we can communicate and communicate them well is a great challenge. And within that challenge lies true developmental grows. Impact feedback focusing on how you feel and what the effects on you is good here, as it makes it about you and not about her and she will have less reason to try and defend herself. ~ A fotnot; there are shit parents (and people) out there that are too toxic to be possible to affect, and there's always a point at which we need to realize that cutting people out of our lives is the best thing to do, and if that is what is needed to be done, so be it. From the limited sense I make from your OP, I don't think this is the case for you. Regardless, when cutting people out of our lives, we need to be aware that the problem may still be within ourselves and doing that can be the easy way out for the ego to avoid us growing towards accepting responsibility for ones own reality. ~ Again, sorry, monster post.

Jesus self-identified as the light of God. He also recognized others as the light of God. He knew that we are all the same in the transcendent sense, and that the kingdom of God is the essence of who we are. He was God expressed through a form, like the rest of us, he just happened to be a more awakened form than most.

Please, sit comfortably, have a good read & see you on the other side. Set inspiring music for the read on a loop. "John Powell – Coming Back Around”. Do some meditation, shamanic breathwork, or cannabis before -- if you please. The Atlantis Your role is to be a reader, while mine is to construct these words. Inseparably we are one consciousness; one life experiencing itself; one twisted staircase to heaven. In the pages of this groundless story, I, the constructor, will refer to us as we, for we are not distinct entities. We were born as a shrunken being onto oceanic plateaus. Around us swam sharks. Above us raged storms. Raving waves of the sea took a toll on us. Who were we? We did not seem to remember. Nor did we recall the moment of our death. But little did we know the glorious veil had just been crossed. We were happening. What was unfolding around us shaped our existence… A tenacious hum still rings in your ears. By pure chance, stray fishermen took us under their soaked yellow raincoats. They fed fish to our starving soul. Goddamn fish! They gave us a name. These letters were a navigator’s label for addressing and handling the ever-present, nameless entity behind. Despite their gum boots, which had holes in the sole, the fishermen embraced us as their own. They became our parents. Sort of. We learned the sailors’ way of navigating on the seas. Our voyage was turbulent and the ocean rough, but from a boat’s deck it somehow seemed far away. The fishermen clothed us in a yellow raincoat. They still fed us fish. We began asking, for the first time, who were they, really? The more we resembled them; the more we engraved their traditions and patterns of thinking, the more they felt closer to us – to a lone child once born on the seas, trying to make sense of it all. Flow with the music. This is what heaven sounds like. We often stood on the boat’s bow, amazed by the world’s wonders. When great hurricanes whirled by, we savored the hammering of our skin. We were at life’s frontline. We did not know a single fear. When the vessel bobbed on the sea, we tied ourselves to a handrail, and when monstrous waves approached, we laughed. We loved how the salt clogged our mouth. Despite the fishermen’s warnings, we lived fearlessly on the boat named Mist Bane, which sounded suspiciously close to an ideology. One day, our exuberance faltered. The unforeseen adventures were torn apart by an island’s coastline. The Mist Bane was sailed to steady waters, in which she was anchored. The ocean was left behind. Thereby we settled on a hazy coast, which the fishermen spoke of as home. Our soul hankered for a voyage – long the fire burned, waned. Until it yielded to the fishermen’s game. The forge that had once emitted heat frazzled to a cold frightened ember. We developed a framework of understanding. The ocean was subject to charts and journals, said the fishermen. They taught us about lurking dangers in the water. About inconceivable predators that crossed the seas. About horizons that misled sailors into believing a storm was a long way from happening. They spoke of hidden wonders, but scarcely. Their knowledge felt terribly out of tune. Presence of fear predominated their thinking. Would our inner musing over exploration be heaved out if their ‘knowledge’ oppressed us long enough? What if it enslaved our soul? Those questions were worth sacrificing for. The notion of cruising an ocean, where we had felt like a newly engaged bride-to-be, was fading in memory. The treasure we valued the most was lost – a bird’s freedom. Our beloved Atlantis. We developed a fear of never unshackling from the fishermen’s influence again. We ate their food. We slept in their beds. We attended their schools. A life of disgust. On walls was painted fear. Where lied soil for a hopeless dreamer, we asked, fertile enough to thrive in? In an environment of constant hassle, we relinquished victory to the fishermen’s central maxim that stated, ‘survival of the fittest, trampled idealists not welcomed!’ We grew into one of them. Dead pigeons. Almost. The fishermen fed us fish whose meat was terribly difficult to swallow. Why? Their bones scratched our throat. They stuck like ideologies, and they were painful to wash down, for stomaching them after would be excruciating. Such is the nature of ideology. The fishermen often admonished us for pointing this out. As if deconstructing a belief system meant disobeying traditions. Well, honestly – it did. We understood this: All the answers to the most important questions lie inside. We ought not look for them in the outside world. The moment a person stops contemplating and makes a statement, they become trapped inside a stiff dungeon. However, a question is followed by an unwritten line… The music guides you. Open the door. Let it in. We have known for a long time that Atlantis is not a place besieged by water; not buried in the ocean. Those in search of its golden pillars and riches are wailing for amity. Atlantis is quite close. It resides in our hearts and thinking. The throne is here and now. Atlantis is appearing as a written text. Deconstruct these lines. Look through the black-on-white metaphors. Feel the author’s intended meaning. You are here. In the Oasis of Harmony. What a genius you are. You have brought yourself to life. There is nothing more fascinating than experiencing this story. Atlantis is the everlasting here! You are safe. You have already made it. You are in heaven. The deeds from yesterday do not conquer the eternity of today. Neither do the possibilities of tomorrow. From the ocean we had arisen – pure and selfless, born in a storm. We had been the city of Atlantis, a treasure lost to the humankind. Around us had swum sharks, yet the baby had come unscathed. Why? The sharks had valiantly held their ground against frenzied waves, which had struck over and again. Why? For the city of Atlantis was about to be lost. The waves had protected us awhile, but the treasure of Atlantis had emerged from underwater. Why? For the fishermen had pulled us out. We had developed a human identity. We had forgotten we had been Atlantis. But Atlantis cannot ever be truly lost. Despite the fishermen’s good intentions, it was never meant for us to wallow under a shelter’s roof. Our home rested on the meandering currents of adventure. Indeed, on that hazy coast we rediscovered our nature. What had felt like a thousand human lives away was now one shore away from transcending. One day, we dared. “Atlantis!” we called out dangerously as a whirlwind. Straightaway a spark flashed, slashing our throat from within. We rubbed our sleepy eyes and pinched our arm. We swore it was there, a heaving spark! “Atlantis!” we rejoiced with great enthusiasm and eyes fixed on the sea. Our voice stirred some leaves, and crickets stopped chirping. Then: Another spark was born. It jumped over a coastal stone a few times before disappearing somewhere in the sand. Sparks came in hordes, but they died off before igniting a flame. “Atlantis!” we formed a tsunamic voice. We awakened to our true nature. Our human-self languished. The ocean answered our call! It began just as light flickering on the horizon. A rust of night, one would say, a sunray escaping the hungry shadows of dusk. Yet it was more. The sea parted. A clear passage emerged. It led us astray from the shore. Back to where we had come from. Our yellow raincoat ripped off, unshackling us from mortal duties. We walked there naked. We had accomplished the mission, and now we were coming home. We strode on the oceanic floor… Until the notion of an island faded. There had never been one. There had never been fishermen, nor a boat that had rescued us, nor sharks, nor fear of never unshackling. All there ever has been is the ocean. The ocean is dreaming infinitely many dreams. You are nothing but one of them, one ripple. You, the beloved Atlantis. -------- I know some of you have already read The Atlantis elsewhere from me, but it felt like a cool thing to share on the forum directly as well, as nobody has to click anywhere. Also, I was browsing all the industry-standard book genres and realized there's this wonderful thing called Visionary & Metaphysical Fiction. Sounds about right, wouldn't ya say? It's a tiny, tiny field. Let's go!

3 years ago I had a huge awakening. I saw everything super clear. There was no suffering at all. I didn't know anything about this stuff, but before that happened I was in deep suffering and I didn't even know. I awakened because of suffering. Then "I lost" all of that which "I had gained". Now, after 3 years of suffering (hundreds of different phases I went trought), I have more understanding than I have at that time, I was so fucking clueless. I feel like I am at the edge of awakening, I notice on my chest, all over my body feels it when I am very near. But there is something that is blocking me from that: MYSELF. Wtffff myself doesn't want to awaken. It is that which has been causing me suffering this 3 years. I feel I can't do nothing because I am always preventing myself from awakening. Some thoughts on this?

I think it works, but not the way we think it does... I think there's a lot of "unconscious" stuff going on. We need to get more awakened to get it to work. IMO. In my case, sometimes it works, and some others is like there's some kind of deep belief that is not making it work the way I want. But that "I" is my ego, so maybe that's the problem.

What is the relationship between these four entities or principles? This is how I see it, from the observations I have made in recent days. Well, let's start with Atman. Atman is the One without the Other, and thus it is the Other, and All that exists. The Atman is the Soul or Jiva at the Centre of the Universe and everything that exists. Shiva cannot be in the Centre, because he is the space in which the Centre exists. Kali is what works around it (the Centre), and is thus One with the Center just as Shiva is. Shiva is the space, Kali is the energy. Atman is both. Atman is the only being or entity that can be both Shiva and Kali at the same time. Atman Shiva ---> I <--- Kali Shiva and Kali can play around together and be One, switch roles etc, but they cannot impersonate a single form as one without being One with the Atman. The Atman is the Center of every point of space. If you were to imagine the whole fabric of the universe and all dimensions possible (infinity), as being composed of infinitely many dots, infinitely close together, then you would have the understanding that the Atman is at the centre of every single one of those dots. Where does the Atman's Shakti come from? Not Shiva, not Kali. Atman is Shakti and Shiva at the same time, so Atman created Shiva and Shakti, and Kali as a result. Kali is awakened Shakti. The Shakti that Shiva has given to Her. It is her, because she is energy. She needs Shiva to move Her. She is Shakti that is intelligent and able to communicate with relationship. Shiva is what can move control and harness Shakti in whatever way He wants, and thus he is able to control the Shakti and feed it to Kali, who will use it to bring justice to the universe. Brahman is all that is, without a center, and thus nothingness like Shiva. The only difference between Brahman and Shiva is that Brahman cannot be impersonated by anyone or anything, while Shiva can. I hope this helps anyone trying to understand. Yet I am sure this is still a work in progress, so please share any of your observations or insights. I encourage you to do so Om Tat Sat

I'll just preface this by saying that this video makes me want to pull my hairs out. It's extremely frustrating to see how Connor tries to go about explaining things while displaying zero signs of spiral wizardry (if he even had an ounce of it, he would've never debated it in the first place, so I guess that is the price you pay for getting to see something like this). It's more an example of the limits of stage orange than anything else (to say that Connor accurately represents anything would be a stretch), which is why I ended up posting it here. Regardless, if you ever wanted to see what a "debate" between an "awakened" person and materalist looks like, this is probably the closest you'll ever come to it. EDIT: Don't watch this. It's a waste of time.

My intention in this post is to make a super helpful pointer. I'll see how I go though. What attachment seems to be? Its simple. Its the assumption that some object, state of consciousness, or thing has happiness in it, and if we don't have that thing we are unhappy, but if we have that thing, we are happy. This runs deep, this isnt limited to the fools who chase money and sex. Infinite love realization and states of consciousness are attachments, because if you aint in the right state of consciousness, you aren't happy. It runs even deeper. Unconditional happiness is an attachment, because if you aren't unconditionally happy, then you aren't happy. The happiness is assumed to be in the "unconditional" state. What the world seems to be? The world is a place divided into things that make you happy, and things that make you not happy. We chase the things that make you happy, while avoid the things that make you not happy. This runs deep, we chase altered states of consciousness, we chase attaining unconditional happiness, we chase meditation, etc. In this world there is time, and a future. We plan to get stuff in the future, like attaining enlightenment. Like attaining 0 attachments in the future. We strive towards it. What actually makes you happy? Clearly 0 attachments. But what is 0 attachments? 0 attachments is literally being purely happy. Just being happy. That's it. 0 attachments means your happiness doesn't come from awakening, altered states of consciousness, enlightenment, meditation, psychedelics, insights, knowing how the universe works, pure unknowing, having an ego, having no ego, being self realized, "getting it", telling people whether they are awake or not, telling people whether you're more awake then them, classifying people, judgment, hatred. When do you have 0 attachments? When you are purely happy. That feeling of someone loving you, you achieving something great, a wedding, being in the flow state, etc. There is no happiness located anywhere, or to be achieved in the future, its just there. Purely happy. You aren't awake when you're happy. You're just normal. Everyone can have 0 attachments if they wanted to. Not just awakened or enlightened beings. Everyone has periods of time in their life when they have 0 attachments, even the ones that are the most miserable. The flow state is a great example. So What Actually IS The World Then? The world is a place where you can see what it actually is, or you can not see what it actually is, and be deluded. If there's a rope on the ground, you can choose to see that rope as a snake, or as a rope. By choosing to see it as a snake you suffer. By choosing to see it as a rope, you don't. The world actually is unbounded, completely unconditional happiness. If you don't see that, its simply because you are not looking at the world, you are looking at delusion. And that's the whole game you're playing. Trying to see what the world actually is, and all spiritual work amounts to that. Actually that's not what your spiritual work amounts to, that's what everything you do amounts to. So What Actually IS Attachment Then? We divide ego tricks into lots of different categories and flavors. But the truth is, there's only 1 ego trick that's been playing you your entire life. And that ego trick is, really believing that happiness is located in something. The mourning you go through over the loss of a family member, or over the loss of an awakening(if you've had those awakenings that make you mourn and grieve) or psychedelic experiences, is literally, and only, caused by this 1 ego trick. Its caused purely from the belief that happiness is in something. If you get a thought that says "but that can't be true, because I've felt pain before and it hurts, it can't just be an attachment" ~ notice that the whole reason why you believe that thought, is because you believe there's happiness in it. That's why you're taking that thought seriously. The reason why you take any thought seriously is because you believe there's happiness in the thought. That's literally attachment. That's literally the ego trick outlined above. Real happiness is not contained within any thoughts. It is prior to every single thought. So What Do You Make of This? The game of life is officially complete, when you realize that happiness is prior to everything. Its prior to awakenings, its prior to realizations, its prior to being enlightened, its prior to realizing love. And its prior to every single attachment you have. So Why Is Meditation and Yoga Important? Because meditation and yoga are the only times when you are happy for the sake of it. Not happy because you're in an altered state of consciousness, or because you've reached some samadhi state, or because you're awake, or because you're enlightened, or because you're more awake and better then others. So Why Aren't I happy when its so simple? Because you deliberately, while unintentionally, choose to pick your attachments over happiness. If you had a car crash and lost an arm, and you were resisting the state you were in hard, and I told you to just be happy, you'd say NO! Because you just lost an arm. Its not that you can't be happy, its that you're deliberately choosing not to. Hello, that's why you aren't awake. Hello, you're going to keep going on the spiritual path until you realize that if that happened to you, you will choose to be happy. Because the alternative to that is falling for the 1 ego trick outlined above, and you will not be 100% satisfied in life, and will keep striving for happiness on the path, until you have 0 attachments because that's literally the only game you're playing. You can choose happiness over your attachments. The problem is you don't want to. Your end game is not awakening, infinite love realization, or anything like that. Your end game is flow state 24/7. Whether you're enlightened, a human, a duck, a cat, a retard, a deluded fool, a psychotic person, an insane person, a cu**, someone with a bad history, it doesn't matter what you are, what you want is 24/7 flow state. So What actually IS the truth? The truth literally is, deliberately choosing to be purely happy, deliberately choosing to get what you purely want, devoid of putting that in objects, states of consciousness, awake vs non awake dualities, putting it in the whole idea of non duality, putting it in enlightenment or infinite love or anything else. What you have always wanted, was to be happy, and what you have been doing your entire life, is deliberately choosing not to be happy.

Today I feel very different from the previous days in my entire life. I almost never feel this way. This is weird. I feel like I've never been me before. Well it's weird, I done some work, yeah the story is very long and complicated. Before this day I can't even feel my energy for the rest of my life. I always absorbing another people energy and act like its my energy, Weird you know? Well some shaman say I have quite a strange ability in this reality. They say I have the supranatural power, but I also don't know what they are saying because the language is very vague about this. One of the shaman said that on my right hand there was a kind of line that represented a power, which was the same line as him. But with this ability I still don't know how to use it. I have lots of suffering, lot of mental and emotional damage from this. I didnt want to write that now. This shaman says my energy always waste. I've never been me. The voice that speaks in my head IS NOT ME! what the fucking happened to me? !! That's what I said to myself the first time I was awakened by the shaman, and became myself for the first time in my life, at the age of 21. I cried sadly mixed with happiness. After that awakening day, I returned to my baseline, struggle to find where 'my voice', struggle to find where is my energy. Today, consciously without anyone's help, the voices of energy that are not me, are not in my head anymore. It was like removing a helmet from concrete. I am very grateful. I am very grateful. I feel like, reborn. This is me, yes me.

To interpret (create, construct, fabricate, conceptualize, etc.) what I'm speaking of as "figuring stuff out forever" would be to misunderstand why I'm making such a big deal about this. By all means, resting in this Now is indeed peaceful, but it is impermanent, and it is not Awakening. Indeed Truth = Now, and indeed every mental deception, conceptualization, fabrication you and I are making are Truth, directly, this does not reveal their true nature. I would argue that until you've become conscious of the mechanisms of your mind, you will continue to suffer, continue to deceive yourself and others, and continue to live below your potential as a human in the context of self actualization. Until you've fully seen who and what you are, what you are doing in every moment, in the moment, moment by moment, you will continue to be asleep all while under the guise that you've figured this out, that you've awakened. This as so many Neo Advaitins love to throw around, does not guarantee that you're free. What creates This? What is the nature of This? How does self and This arise? Where does This go in deep sleep, or during a cessation in deep meditation? Why do you continue to behave the way you do when you're awake? Why are you so averse to words such as Love and Divinity? I write all of this not necessarily for OP, but anyone on the forum. However, @Someone here as long as you've found your inner peace and are content with life, I'm happy for you. It's just that I would be SHOCKED if in, let's say, 5 years you look back on this time and say to yourself "yep I was fully awakened, still am" and hadn't cultivated any insights that relieved suffering, or facilitated some deeper level of happiness and understanding into the nature of self and reality.

@Moon I agree with your assessment of Emeralds advice. Serious. Not just being a kiss ass.?? A saying by Ocke deBoer about an awakened being dealing with people in whatever culture it may be. " Sometimes you need to learn when it's time to go run and hide."

Not what are their reactions like...what are they reacting to? What behavior or words transpired at your end to which their reaction was that you are a danger to your son? It could very well be the case, but it’s hard to picture you woke, loving & compassionate...and them saying such things out of nowhere. Possible indeed, but highly unlikely. If someone was telling you only the above...wouldn’t you see there is more to the story? What is ‘stopped playing my part’ which results in losing twenty year friendships and your wife? Is it really simply that you just prefer the changes? You’re questioning how many people end up in a mental institution because of their environment is a sort of red flag, possibly a cry for help...no? Blaming other people’s ego’s...? What exactly is it which they ‘can’t handle’? How sure are you that “your own ego” isn’t the biggest hurdle here? Awakened folks are a joy to be around ime. Not implying the awakening was invalid or anything, but maybe it’s being spread like butter across everything...maybe that’s not sitting well...? Some times awakening is just so damn good it doesn’t matter, but it might. More than anything else, maybe. If your wife is experiencing monkey mind (drama) and you are experiencing true peace of mind & compassion...how are you not seeing and experiencing orders of magnitude beyond this, such that ‘dramas’ are not persisting? Unless, again, what you really want is to not have the friendships, marriage, child, parents, etc. Wish you the best in any case.