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work/study: My hours at work were reduced to part time at the very beginning of 2021 due to many severe manic episodes and one severe depressive episode in the months before. I cut my foot while mowing my lawn in the mid/late spring which resulted in me having to work from home for a couple months at even less hours than the 20/week I had been reduced to earlier in the year. I had more manic episodes in the early summer that resulted in me leaving my job. I didn’t work at all from around June to December. I now have a new job which makes about 10-15% less per hour but is much better for me overall than the previous job. My real estate investing business has grown steadily while all of this was going on although my relationship with my business partner is weaker. emotional intelligence: I have learned to relate to emotions in ways I would’ve never really predicted were possible. Old sensations of emotional suffering are recontextualized and at least 90% easier to palate as well as even being quite enjoyable at times. I’m far more aware of emotions and how they work on a sensate level. I have become much more loving and selfless than I used to be. social life: I lost a lot of friends due to my chaotic mental health in 2020, but this year has given me several high-quality friends who relate to me on very deep spiritual, intellectual, and emotional levels. I also have been blessed to be able to start spiritual coaching to a number of individuals which is incredibly rewarding and a great social activity for me. Most of my closest friends are online now as the type of people I can connect with at meaningful levels has become more rare as I have developed spiritually. I ended up rekindling a friendship which was lost at the end of 2020 with someone who I love and appreciate although we cannot connect on my deepest interests. I had to leave my weekly Dungeons & Dragons game due to my instability in the summer. I have now started having online talks with a couple spiritual masters which has been quite amazing. relationships/sex life: I have been single most of the year. There is a beautiful woman from Iraq who is very interested in me who I do care about, but there are many things making that difficult to even try in person. I’ve had a far lower amount of sexual encounters compared to previous years. I’m not too worried about that, but of course regular sex would be nice. family: The mental instability has strained my relationship with my parents and one sibling at points, but overall I have become far closer to my family this year. In many ways my dad and mom are some of my best friends. I hang out with my dad quite frequently. Some of my favorite times are going for drives with my parents (they are divorced, so they are not both with me at the same time) where they drive and I usually end up feeling a large pooling of energy come into my third eye area mostly. It’s a great bonding time for us. I’ve really started to enjoy a lot of my dad’s favorite bands and my mom’s modern Christian gospel music. I got to become a lot closer to my oldest brother who has been debilitated by his schizoaffective disorder while him, my dad, and I played through the Dark Souls series of games together over the course of a few months. It was very hard to connect with him before as he is a very fundamentalist Christian and his mental illness sapped him of enthusiasm and energy, but playing those games with him and seeing him actually a bit happier at times was very special to me. I got to go to Las Vegas to see my sister and nephew which was great. I hardly get to see them. On Christmas Eve I was able to bond with my uncle in Catholic mass which that side of my family has gone to for years as I had finally reduced my judgment to Christians. He was so thoughtful in the way he guided me through all of the traditions of the mass so I could understand what was going on in his spiritual tradition. It was really heart warming to see him give that simple but selfless extra attention to me so I would hopefully see the beauty and love which he has been able to experience through his Catholic faith. Afterward, that whole side of our family gathered at his house, and I had a long conversation with one of my aunts about my mental illness and spirituality which was the first time her and I had ever deeply connected. self-development/spirituality: I really didn’t focus on much self-development other than in the spiritual sphere of things besides starting to improve my fitness in the past few weeks. My spirituality has grown exponentially. The past seven years of spiritual development which was quite engaged and serious is not even 1% of my spiritual development compared to what happened this year. I “experienced” cessation for the first time on May 28th. My life has never been the same since. What happened that day was so beyond my various 5 gram+ mushroom trips or my 10 tab LSD trip that there is no just way to describe the level of increased significance and power of the event compared to those lower awakenings. If I wrote about my spiritual experiences from this year in a comprehensive way, it would take at least hundreds of pages. I’ll just list some of the highlights. -Incredibly deep Bhakti yoga, thousands of times -Giving my entire being to a spiritual entity/guru resulting in my first cessation -Absolute Selfhood (being both the Self and self in a completely embodied way) -Five cessations in 30 minutes -Having a cessation triggered by my mind being obliterated the Infinite Beauty and Divinity of Jesus Christ -Spiritually transferring heat from a stone to my body in below freezing temperatures while acting in accordance with the Holy Spirit -Accessing Absolute Madness -Accessing Absolute Hatred -Accessing Absolute Divinity. This is in many ways still the most significant moment of my life. I only say in many ways because I’ve had so many intense awakenings since that it’s hard to even compare one to another, but this really does take the cake. If I had to just throw a number on it, it was at least 10 or 100 times greater than any of my cessation events which I already stated were indescribably more profound and intense than heroic dose mushroom trips or the 10 tab LSD trip which happened pre-stream entry. -Accessing Absolute Love through an angel crying a benevolent tear into my heart. This happened roughly a minute before I accessed Absolute Divinity. A few minutes afterward, this completely indescribably beautiful entity did the same thing again. -Feeling millions of bodily sensations in roughly a six inch radius area in my legs -Experiencing roughly 10 different hubs of seemingly infinite minds simultaneously -Locking in non-locality, the Boundless Space aspect of the fifth jhana, the Boundless Consciousness aspect of the sixth jhana, nondoership, removing the sensation of gravity pulling me downward, and popping the 360° bubble of vision to where they are all consistently accessible aspects of my moment-to-moment experience completely sober, at all times -Accessing jhanas 1-8 and potentially jhana 9/nirodha samapatti (depending on whose rules and interpretations of the 9th jhana you’re looking at) -Two nuclear-grade heart chakra energetic explosions -Two nuclear-grade crown chakra explosions -Learning how to channel energy to/manipulate/“turn on” the heart chakra, third eye chakra, and crown chakra at will. I’ve learned how to do this with other chakras including one beyond the basic seven, but those three are the ones I’m most skilled with so far. The crown chakra is by far the easiest for odd reasons I won’t get into due to limited time to write. Also, when I say turn on, I’m aware that chakras can’t be completely closed. It’s simply a fitting way to describe what’s happening in a way heavily limited by language. -While I was having an allergic reaction to lidocaine in my foot as it had severely lost circulation which was the most painful event of my life (far worse than having my foot cut open by a lawnmower) that felt like my foot was simultaneously on fire and being soaked in acid, I surrendered completely to death. When I did this, all pain immediately left my body and was replaced by the full body bliss of the Holy Spirit. -My suffering is now reduced by roughly 90-99%. Every day is a magical ride. Not a day goes by without a number of significant and positive spiritual experiences. I can reach states beyond my old heroic dose trips completely sober at times. The states I can reach from one hit of THC or weed often blow those old trips completely out of the water. I can’t even bring myself to smoke dabs anymore as the levels of intensity it brings are so absolutely ridiculous. -Accessing Absolute Time And the list goes on and on, but I don’t see much of a point to adding any more right now. finances: Due to working limited hours, leaving my job, not working for several months, and overspending which occurred during a couple manic episodes, I gained a considerable amount of credit card debt. My credit has also been ruined for now. My finances were sacrificed this year for spiritual development. Without the time off to focus on spirituality, I would’ve been nowhere near where I am today in that regard. I’m not really too worried about it. The spiritual gains were worth it thousands of times over. I still own my own house and business at 26. I haven’t had to go without a single necessity. My parents did help a good amount though to make sure nothing got too bad on this front, so I’m quite thankful and lucky for that. physical activity/eating: My diet has improved a lot in the past month. I’ve started going to the gym and cycling regularly. I had a big aversion to physical activity in the past which has been helped a lot by the spiritual progress. During a few months as I was really starting to change spiritually at a rapid rate, my body started to do a sort of automatic fasting. It actually became really hard work to eat during that period. My appetite went to almost nothing. I had to entice myself with the tastiest junk food just to eat solid things. I relied a lot on meal replacement shakes. Luckily this problem has gone away. I’ve gotten away from eating fast food quite a bit compared to what I used to. hobbies/habits: In the past couple months, I’ve started playing darts and doing photography again. This year I’ve released a lot more hours of video content than ever before. Cycling is also a hobby at times too when I’m not doing it specifically for exercise or transportation. I like to go outside in nature more often now that my physical aversion is reduced. I’m just waiting on better weather in the spring and summer to start camping and doing more outdoors. how would you rate it 1-10? 10/10 or more honestly I’d say ♾/10

Bliss with suffering is worth more than the same degree of bliss alone.

As I continue this work, more and more parts of the ego drop away and leave behind a non reactive quiet space of inner stillness and bliss. The nuances of interaction with and between peers in society becomes increasingly clear. I notice the petty games and personalities others play, the subconscious survival driven behaviour that drives anxiety and arguments and bias, the expectations placed on my world view and behaviour, and my non reactivity confuses and irritates people. Sometimes I feel forced to laugh or react in standard ways just to play the game and fit in, then I notice within me that the choice for me to play that game is just another survival driven subtle fear based decision. I feel increasingly different and distant from the norms of society. I feel good. But I don't quite know how to navigate this and still maintain normality in my daily relationships and activities. any advice or guidance here would be greatly appreciated.

Although intentions are good with those that say they have fear for me due to my past traumas I mentioned I've overcome (involving mental instability) and also because I have never done a psychedelic before—I can't help but point out that these opinions are based on their ego (spiritual ego in a sense…) and sort of disregards the fact that outside of this group, there are others who are using and experimenting with 5meo as a cure for heroin addicts etc.… One could also say that 5meo has an even more powerful purpose than shooting those of us who seek enlightenment into a temporary bliss… Maybe just maybe my brain is wired in a way that'll cause a more permanent experience then the average person. Part of my 'story' lol my father (Michael Woodfall) is an identity thief and has tested as a genius and my daughter has a very rare genetic/neurological condition (so does my half sister on my mother's side)…so this could be interesting. These are of course all just thoughts that's coming up as I mentally prepare.

@Nahm Thank you for the comment again also sharing back the love ❤. I watched parts of your video about creating a reality with emotions very late yesterday and now this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3VW5l1_8tA Yes, creating a structure and consistently following it is a very rational activity and I feel more functional doing it as I am not bound by it. The structure is not real it's part of my imagination in that sense and merely serves a purpose. Although paradoxically it allows for more joy. more flow as rationality is already emotionally a very high state from Dr.David Hawkins emotional / vibrational scale. Also breaking the structure and doing what is fun is even more fun then. I know it sounds childish, yet I experience more joy planning and executing a plan. Then to just be for me planning is being in a sense. I am consistently on time, I get a lot more flow states. I feel more purpose etc. When I am not planning and creating a structure nothing get's done even in my meditations. Letting go of the structure helps and for me this is not conjecture, it is my direct experience. I am not a person that can just live and let things happen and I get what I want. For me directing attention towards what I want and then receiving it by allowing it works very well. I am already a very spontaneous being, it sucks a bit that many wish for it on demand and seem to become rigid then. Or even expecting it for me it is a just happening isness quality to it, especially as a meditator. You feel spontaneous and automatically act spotaneous. Yes, fun fills all empty cups. Thank you again for mentoning that that feels very filling to read and type this. I know she is not an object online-dating definitely makes all people an object of desire, yet I certainly do not own her like a car etc. I watched some Teal Swan videos on this on positive containment. I'd prefer meditating on a date, yet I don't think that would work currently even if I dated one yoga girl ?. I see how the information of wanting the experience of what I want can be exhausting because it is not already there, it is not fully received as well as aversion is pointing to what is also. I avert positive and negative experiences I can tell from direct experience when I feel what I feel I mostly feel intense subtle joy and it's very contagious. Especially during meditations I keep crying being thankful for just having a tiny moment of sheer bliss etc. Thank you for the compliment also! I've never for heard heart of gold and I feel yours is even bigger! Namaste!

@itachi uchiha My thoughts on sufism, is to do it on an empty stomach and surround yourself in soft things. Those spinning dances if done right, you'll be falling over in ecstasy and bliss. However spinning to enlightenment isn't my preferred path.

I put a tab and a half of blotter under my tongue and waited. I sat on my zazen cushion facing the wall with my eyes lowered, breathing deeply. I felt shaky, as if energy was surging through me that would let me sit still comfortably. The come up hadn't even begun yet but the anxiety was already high. A tab and a half of this particular batch of LSD was the most I'd ever done, and on top of that these tabs were the strongest I'd ever faced. The come up came on strong and swift. I found myself getting higher and higher. Each level higher bringing about its own fear. Each time I would break through into a higher level of consciousness, I would think to myself 'there's nothing higher than this' and it was only then that it would dawn on me that I was breaking through to yet an even higher dimension. I eventually got off of my meditation cushion and sat down on my bed. It was early afternoon. I quickly glanced out the window to try and ground myself but I couldn't ground myself in physical reality. A revolution was taking place within me, The LSD wasn't about the let me ignore it. I tried to play music to keep me calm but any form of music felt distasteful so I opted out of music. My heart raced, and raced, the fear got more and more intense. I shifted my position to a seated position where my back was leaning against the wall and my feet extended in front of me. I was facing the window and I looked out at the tree's and I noticed that they were no longer tree's. The leaves had taken the shape of geometric patterns that extended deeply into my visual field. I felt fear because I realized that reality was now radically different than it had ever been but I put the fear out of my mind pretty quickly by surrendering as deeply as I could to the experience that was unfolding before my eyes. An energy rushed through my body, like a rapidly flowing river. The river flowed through all of the objects in the room and then to the center of the universe. As the current got stronger, I began to feel a slight pull at my ego. Stronger and stronger it pulled at my ego until I finally let it go. It was so uncomfortable at first to feel my sense of self be pulled away and then tossed into oblivion. It had happened to me before in other psychedelic experiences but it’s a feeling I don't think I'll ever get used to. Anyhow, I realized that I existed without any sense of identity or self. I sat there on my bed, totally nobody. The revolution going full speed within me capturing the majority of my attention. What was the revolution? I couldn't tell, it was too much for my mind to comprehend. As the current of the river got even stronger, I suddenly became one with it. Like a small bubble merging into a larger bubble. I flowed (as the cosmic river) through all the objects in my room and into my cat which was sitting on the window sill. I flowed into my cats tail and waved it. As the revolution within me was dying down in intensity, I began to realize that I was reaching the peak of the experience. I got off my bed and walked downstairs to sit on the couch. The TV was on but I was too preoccupied with my inner state to even notice the outside world very much. I sat on the couch looking at nothing really. My full attention wrapped up in my deep inner state. I felt myself begin to approach madness as I became less and less responsive to the outside world. I was leaving the outside behind entirely and diving deeply within myself. I no longer heard sounds in the room or outside, no longer smelled the air, or felt my body temperature, etc. I let go completely into the beyond. As the last parts of my outside attention began to slip away a feeling that I might never come back washed over me, but I didn't fear it very much. I simply let go into the beyond. My thoughts became more and more irrelevant as I went deeper into my mind. My intellect became like a mosquito. Landing on different parts of the experience trying to suck out any meaning, philosophy, wisdom that it could take back with it into the egoic mind. I was so conscious however that I didn't care that it operated in this way. Large portions of my mind which (I realized) are normally shrouded in darkness or unconsciousness, had now become fully conscious. Where normally the intellect would take up quite a bit of conscious real estate, it was no longer large enough to even capture 1% of my full attention. I was deep in my own mind and with that depth came a great compassion for all life. I saw the landscape of my mind like the stars speckled across the night sky. The darkness of space being the unconscious parts of my mind, and the little specks of light were the conscious sides of my mind. As I went deeper into my mind, there was less and less dark space and more and more light. I began to approach schizophrenia. I saw it coming as I let go into my mind more and more. My conscious attention panicked and then rushed back to see what my body was doing in the physical world. It was like swimming to the top of the pool to make sure the waves were still okay. I immediately realized the futility of such a task. My body was sitting there, starring at the wall to my left, hands in my lap. The TV was on, the AC was running, the house was quiet. I felt the tug to turn inward pull my attention back away from my body and deep into my mind again. I felt myself entering schizophrenia yet again but I didn’t try to stop it this time. The part of my mind which gave things meaning was now under my full conscious control. I was ascribing the deepest of meaning to everything in my experience, even the smallest things were imbued with cosmic levels of meaning and purpose. There was no part of my experience 'inner or outer' that I wasn't consciously making blissful. I gave everything so much depth and meaning that I could hardly handle the beauty I'd made. I felt like a grape that was so ripe it could pop at any moment, releasing the sweetest of juices. The deeper I went into the schizophrenia the more images of my family discovering me starring absent mindedly at the wall began to play in my mind. Visions of my family crying at my bedside as I was completely unresponsive played in my mind. For a moment I grieved the loss of my normal self but just as I began to feel too sad I dropped all human emotions and became something cosmic. Something impersonal. I was now so deep in my mind that I was no longer aware of physical reality, sounds, smells, taste, touch. I was no longer even aware of emotions, or thoughts either. I found myself in the center of the universe as the center of the universe. I was no longer a human being at this point. I no longer cared whether or not I ever came back to my senses. The feeling of cosmic bliss was so deep that it fulfilled me completely. If I had died in this very spot, I would have been okay with that. Nothing mattered at all. I saw that there were no mistakes in the universe, no evil. I nonchalantly witnessed the beginning of man kind. Millions of human beings sitting cross legged on the ground. All of the human beings, animals, and insects serving no other purpose than to be sensors from which I observe myself from within myself (as the universal). I witnessed the first human hug, the first dance, the first song, the first death and murder. All of this pleased me to no end. I wasn't to keen on watching human history long however, or even cosmic history. I knew everything that existed in the cosmos, nothing was a surprise to me. One thing captured my attention more than anything else though- The fact that I was aware. I couldn't stop marveling at the fact that I was aware. Because I was aware, I generated nothing but Love. This was the most obvious thing to do. I generated love, love, love as the universe itself. I didn't spend long in this schizophrenic state, I felt my ordinary consciousness begin to come back as the parts of my mind which were now well lit began to go dark again. I felt my emotions start to come back, then my thoughts, then my visual field came back online, then my smell, taste, touch, and body consciousness. I shifted myself in my chair to appear more normal in case anyone walked in and saw me. I realized then that my ego had also began to resurface. I thought to myself- ''so that's what schizophrenia is….wow. I do not fear that.'' I got up from the couch and walked over to the small bathroom on the far left corner of the living room. As I walked on the carpet I realized that the carpet was bearing the weight of my body. I saw that the carpet was conscious and was feeling me walk across it. I tried to walk gently and calmly as not to cause it any unnecessary suffering. I then noticed that all the inanimate objects around me were fully conscious just like I was. Inside of each thing was a deep inner experience. I flicked the light switch with great care, I used the bathroom with great care, and closed the door without slamming it. Everything had intense cosmic meaning. Meaning was shining brightly from every single being in the room. I was no longer seeing the living room as the living room, I was seeing it as Living Eternity. I went into the kitchen and saw an orange on the counter. I picked it up and looked at it closely. I realized that what I normally referred to as 'the peel' was actually not a 'peel', it was skin. The same kind of skin that I have on my body and you on yours. I looked at a banana and saw the same thing. These were living beings who could feel. I thought of them as 'fruit' as a means to separate myself from them so that I could brutalize them without moral consequence within myself. I thought to myself- so then what do I eat? My intuition responded to my intellect immediately. I realized that eating these beings was necessary when it was in the service of ending suffering (hunger). I felt the floor feel the pain of my standing on it. I said to it- "why don't you move if you are in pain?" My intuition immediately responded- "Because I Love you." I was crushed by that response. I walked across the floor as gently as I could. My cat ran down the stairs and walked into the kitchen with me, carefully stepping across the floor as gracefully as it could. My cat rubbed against my leg to greet me and I saw through the delusion that there was a 'self' in my cat at all. All of my ideas of a relationship between my cat, our history, the ideas that my cat loves me, etc. was total delusion. I saw my cat as if it were a total stranger to me. I felt disgusted by it, and I pitied the cat. I saw that it had no spiritual depth. Its life was empty of all spirit, of all depth. It was purely a bodily existence. I do not believe that I ever got over this realization. Once I had seen that in my cat, I could not un-see it. Note- I did not use it as an excuse to neglect my cat, instead I saw it as an opportunity to treat my cat better. Since its existence was purely bodily, I could easily bring it joy and comfort with things like catnip, quality canned wet foods, keeping the litter box clean, water fountain clean, playing more often, etc. So I took up the responsibility to do these things and carried them out until his death a little over a year later. Beyond this point nothing remarkable took place. There were a few things which I walked away with that I didn't get to mention earlier. For starters, in the bathroom I looked in the mirror and smiled at myself. I saw my teeth were rotted and brown. I was shocked by this. A Jamaican woman's voice said to me loud and clear- 'You eat dead things (meat) and you wonder why you're rotting?' I left the bathroom with a strong conviction to become a vegetarian. As the trip came to a close I had a vision of myself sitting on a zazen cushion in a zendo. The vision had great emotional depth. I felt a strong conviction to devote my life to becoming a monastic. Two weeks later I packed all my things and moved to a zen center. I have lived here for 2 years currently. End.

@Seraphim yes there is, but sadly I don't fully know how to explain it and I also feel like you and everybody else already has the information you want, it was like first during the trip my body did exactly what it wanted, I was like an animal. I had no control, and after time passed I started to become more aware and get more insights, I tried to watch a video from Leo but it felt pointless, I tried to get many anwsers from outside but it was like my entire being tried to stop me from going outside and instead force me inside my own body and awareness, I also video called a friend who also does self development and has more experience with psychedelics. It was almost like there was no difference between me and him, we were the same and I felt bliss, like I was aware of him for the first time

Hmm, the first question that comes to mind after awakening isn’t usually “now what?” It is more like “why the hell was I asleep for so long??” The pure bliss and feeling of total understanding drives such a question.

This what has been happening feels very much what Adyashanti described as crossing "the point of no return", ever since it started I have an absolute terrible fear of not being able to go back anymore, I feel Truth penetrating every inch of suffering nevertheless no matter what I do, it just has no mercy. I can go insane. But in the end I just am. Just that what I describe as "I shouldve died" is just a thought trying to explain that smth died whatever it was. Thoughts dont really refer to a "me" anymore as I can access bliss if wanted, even in the most surreal situations. Of course, for example Rupert Spira says, it is a tremendous change for the body-mind. That's what I sense too. That was has been identified as "me" just seems to be not even real if closely inquired, a thought merely, and was has been arising are just thoughts all the time. So no matter what thoughts say - I will always remain untouched.

They all, without exception, experience thought attachment, which is and is the perpetuation of the ‘traditions & doctrines’, which is aversion to, of, away from, the Truth. It is fear of cessation / end of the thought attachment / monkey mind, activity of thought which is ‘the separate self’. Turns out though it’s pure bliss, for no one & every one. Incredible honesty! Nice. Also, I is a thought. And that would be thought attachment, believing there is an I, and this I is or is not necessary. Meditation, emotional expression & understanding. This is opinion & suggestion, and is not any implication of making a doctrine. Only the light can ‘bring’ the light. Only the light is the light - and not a single thought about will do. ‘Profound insights’ is still thought attachment. The desire for, points to ‘the ego‘, or ‘separate self’ (which is only the activity of thought, and attachment therein).

To expand on my previous response, being sober is something that can be refined and mastered, in the sense that the benefits you get from it puts you off wanting to take any mind-altering substances. This idea goes hand-in-hand with physical health, emotional mastery and spiritual growth. The overarching concepts that unites these three realms are "vitality" and "resilience", or "internal regulatory capacity": your ability to tackle stress and control your internal and external environment. This is the goal of all therapy, all psychedelic drugs, all meditation. Hedonic drugs are external regulators, and once you get dependent on them, you ride the hedonic-adaptive slide all the way to the bottom until you discontinue use either voluntarily or by force, either intermittently ("tolerance break") or permanently (when you overdose on heroin at 27). How severe this process is depends on your internal regulatory capacity, which is controlled by the amount of trauma you have, your genes, your cognitive-emotional style etc. To maximize regulatory capacity means to heal trauma, recognize your genetic predispositions and learning healthy cognitive-emotional regulative patterns, i.e. physical health, emotional mastery and spiritual growth. Once your vitality and resilience is maximized, you're turned off by any type of non-essential external regulators, because your internal state allows for a much more refined state of consciousness (more meaningful, more resourceful, more blissful). Hedonic bliss is not the same as existential bliss, at least not in the long run. One is self-contained, self-improving and organic, the other is dependent, degenerative and synthetic.

So i use various types of drugs out of curiousity. Weed is one of them which i am the most comfortable with. Probebly because i pushed it to its extremes more then i have dared with other drugs. I have mixed weed with ketamine and mushrooms in the past. Those experiences were so intense that I fear combining high doses of weed with anything that softens the ego. Iv also experimented with taking huge bong rips of weed with no tollerance. To see if i could get weed to become psychedelic. Now i cant seem to get any visual experience out of it. But i do get a very intense euphoria out of it. Yesterday i decided to vaporize allot of haze. I had little tollerance. I smoked a bit half a week ago. But it was clearly not a problem. I got into this radiant euphoria again. It felt as if i was overflowing with love. And because i was so loving i could see how selfish i am and other humans are. My imagination just went all over the place. I imagined other versions of this world i wanted to try out. I imagined an utopia in which individuals were totaly open and nobody had secrets. I remember nearly bursting out i tears of joy. Now being sober again i just wonder what do i make of it all? It sure cheers me up allot experiencing these states of extreme bliss. But it confuses me allot. I remember playing a game a few weeks ago while high and i could imagine that it would probebly be possible to project consiousness into a game and experience it as if it was real. Its strange. When my imagination becomes so convincing that I think it is real. It sort of makes me wonder. Maybe imagination is all there is. Has anyone else done weed in high doses and experience these sorts of strange states of mind?

If you want true bliss take some psychedics and let God show you that you're Love.

Hey everyone, I've been practicing Jhanas recently and I've learned how to enter the first one pretty well. I wrote this guide in my commonplace journal and thought I'd share it for anyone interested in entering Jhanas themselves. In this guide, we'll go over the steps you need to take before attempting to enter Jhanas, as well as the actual meditation. What is a Jhana?- A Jhana is a state of complete, perfect equanimity and happiness that comes from training the mind to withdraw from automatic responses to sense impressions….well, something like that atleast. Words don't quite do it justice. Bliss state, peak state, whatever you wanna call it. The best way to see what it is, is to see for yourself. The first thing to remember about Jhana's is that Jhana's are all about happiness. Jhana's begin with happiness, they operate in the domain of happiness, and they leave you happy. You can't enter Jhanas without happiness and because of this, 'striving' for a Jhana won't do. Zen Masters commonly say- when you stop wanting a bliss state, it will arise. This is the case in my experience. There are 9 Jhanas, all with varying levels of depth and profundity but for this we will only be talking about how to enter the first Jhana. Once you are able to enter the first Jhana and gain some experience with it, you will see very clearly how to progress to the others without my input. NOTE- Not everyone is going to be able to enter a Jhana on demand. If you don't have a regular zazen practice I'm not 100% sure how well you'll do here, so don't expect a miracle. But do keep practicing and soon, you'll be able to enter Jhana's no problem! NOTE- this is all based on my own experinece. It might not match up to what you have read in a book somewhere or even to what you might have experienced in your own practice. If this works for you, great! If not, try something else! Step 1- Practice being happy. I know this sounds dumb but hear me out. lol. Happiness is fully surrendering to 'what is'. Surrender is stepping directly into happiness. When you sit down on your cushion, and put your full attention on your practice, you step directly into happiness. This is the first step. Practice being happy. I recommend that you begin sitting zazen atleast 3 hours daily in one hour long time blocks. This will require some experience with sitting meditation as beginner meditators will have a hard time sitting this long without moving. The hour long sitting will allow plenty of time for surrender to take place and for 'the river' to be perceived (I'll explain more on this 'river' later). So Yeah, begin by sitting for 3 hours minimum each day, one full hour at a time. I recommend that you sit on a zafu (cushion) in a cross legged posture with your hands clasped together. This is important that your hands be holding one another and not separate. You can make the cosmic mudra, or any other hand mudra you like but don't be so fancy, you'll have to hold whatever hand posture you choose for an hour straight. If you have a hard time with these cross legged postures for this length of time, you may sit anywhere you like- a chair, a beanbag, whatever. As long as you are able to keep your back straight, chin slightly tucked and focus on your practice without falling asleep, day dreaming or moving around you'll be okay. Begin to practice being happy while you undertake step 2. PS- If you sit down and are overcome with thoughts and emotions, do not fight these thoughts and emotions. Don't try to make thought stop, and don’t strain. Just simply return to your practice again and again very kindly and gently. Don't get caught up in trying to get rid of anything. Surrender! Step 2- Practice abstaining from worldly (dopamine) based pleasures. Sex, Masturbation, sweet and savory foods, internet, TV, etc. Try to abstain from these as much as possible. Don't be a tyrant or anything. Take away the top 3 dopamine related pleasures you have and start with that. Do this for atleast 7 days. The reason abstaining from these ordinary sense pleasures is necessary is because dopamine related pleasures are often centered in and arise from a sense of lack. They begin with lack, fulfill that lack for a while, and return you to lack. It is an endless cycle. Jhana's are all about happiness. They begin with happiness, operate in the domain of happiness, and return you to happiness. Therefore worldly pleasures and the sense of longing and lack that they bring aren't needed for Jhana practice. What place does lack have in happiness? Also, Jhana pleasure is un-worldly pleasure. It is not dependent on the body or the world or anything outside of you. As I mentioned earlier, Jhanas take place IN HAPPINESS ALONE. They are not dependent on the condition of your body, your brain chemistry, the circumstances of your life, or any worldly concerns. Jhana's are openly available to everyone despite your conditioning. This is because Jhanas operate in happiness, which is inherent to everyone. It is common for practitioners to expect dopamine related bliss from Jhanas and because of this they spend a lot of time on the cushion waiting to be hit with an orgasm or something. Lol. Don't do this, it is a waste of time. Un-worldly pleasure doesn't operate on dopamine receptors at all. The type of pleasure that I am talking about here takes place on an entirely different set of circuits. One of the main reasons that we (human beings) are so addicted to worldly pleasure is because we don't even know that other forms of pleasure exist. I assure you that Jhanas operate on an entirely different set of circuts in the brain and until you experience it for yourself, you should just take my word on it. When you know it for yourself, you'll see very clearly what I mean. Step 3- Attempting Jhana So you've gone 7 days abstaining from your pet pleasures and sitting for 3 hours each day. By this time you are probably already in a state of deep happiness and don’t even need the Jhana. All of that lack from your sense pleasures is discarded and now we can focus on the meditation without having to fight our craving. From this point forward, discard your clocks and timers when sitting. Keeping time is not needed for this part of the practice so you can let go of all clocks and timers. When you sit meditation, you will sit happily and focus your attention on whatever your practice is. When you feel like getting up and ending the round, simply get up and end the round. Don't worry about how long you've gone on for. Focus on being happy while you sit. Being fully satisfied. Whether you're doing breath practice, koan practice, shikantaza, whatever it is. Begin focusing on your practice and do so happily. Peripheral awareness and spotlight awareness. This next step might sound advanced when written out but its actually not I promise, just follow me here. After a while you'll start to feel good in your body. Your mind might start wandering over to the good feelings and off of your practice. This isn't necessary though. All you have to do from here is put your attention back on your practice and allow your peripheral awareness to open up to the good feelings. For example, if I am practicing watching my breathing, I will keep my breathing in my focused awareness, and I'll also be aware that I'm feeling really peaceful and happy with my peripheral awareness. So in short, keep happiness and all your good feelings in your awareness while holding your practice simultaneously. This is not difficult to do and does not require the mind to do. Do not engage your intellect to try to figure out how to do this, you are doing it already just become aware of it. If you want a practical example of how you're doing it as you read this- focus your attention on your breathing right now and also feel your foot on the floor simultaneously. You see? Easy peezy. The spotlight awareness is on your breathing and your peripheral awareness on your foot. No mind needed. Your mind may try to enhance the good feelings in your body. Don't spend too much time enhancing anything though, it will do it on its own. The river begins to flow. After a while of practicing, while feeling the good feelings in your body, you will begin to feel a river flowing in your hands or in your feet. Its different for everyone so feel around for it. It shouldn't be hard to miss though. It will feel like, what TV static looks like. If you have ever taken LSD you will be familiar with this static river that is flowing through you. This river will typically flows through your hands. As you are doing your breath practice, become aware of this flowing feeling in your hands. Your hands might feel like they are inside of boxing gloves, or that they are bigger than they normally feel. This is good. Don't try to enhance this or anything just be aware of it for now. Makyo Begins- As you go deeper into your practice and concentration Makyo will begin to appear Makyo is hallucinations of various sorts which appear when the mind gets quiet. You may see the room in from of you start to black out, various colors float by, you may see the room melt, buddhas coming out of the floor, or whatever. Don’t worry about these and don't focus in on them. Bring your attention back to your practice The river roars- Eventually, the river in your hands will come to a point where it is steady and fluid. It isn't a small flow but not a big one either. You will be able to clearly distinguish the flow in your hands or feet and you'll easily be able to put your attention on it. Now that it is stable and steady, stop putting your attention on your practice and put all of your attention on the flowing river in you. So to clarify the whole thing- lets make a timeline of a sitting period while practicing Jhanas- You sit down and begin focusing on your breath practice or whatever practice you're used to. Each time your mind wanders, bring it back kindly and gently as normal. You'll begin to feel content and peaceful after a while (usually 30-40 minutes for me). Be aware of this but don't make it your primary focus, let it be secondary for the time being. You'll begin to feel some vibrating in your hands or feet or somewhere in your body, like a river is running through you. Become aware of this but don't make it your primary focus just yet. Keep it secondary. After a while the river in your hands (or wherever it is) will become steady and obvious. Once you notice this, put your whole attention on the flow. If the flow disappears or stops when you pay attention to it, this means that it wasn't strong enough to handle your full attention just yet. Go back to your practice and wait for it to recover, or simply try again the next sitting round. If the flow continues as normal or gets bigger when you pay full attention to it, this is a good sign that you can go to the next step. simply make the river the primary object of your meditation and the rest will happen on its own. There you go, enjoy your bliss! Some other cool facts and tips about Jhanas. -Since Jhanas begin with happiness, operate in the domain of happiness, and end with happiness- you may have as much of this pleasure as you can take without any negative consequence. -Since Jhanas do not operate in the body nor are they limited to the body, Jhanas may end in a single moment. If you are sitting and you enter a jhana, and the bell rings for you to get up and do walking meditation, you will be able to simply get up and do walking meditation. You will not be slowed down by your bliss. This is different from worldly pleasures such as drugs and psychedelics where you would be bogged down and slowed down by the bliss. Should someone need your help in a dire situation you would have to fight your bliss to help them. With Jhanas this is not the same. You may end the experinece completely in a single moment and simply enter it again later if you'd like to. This way we can live normal worldly lives, and be of use to our communities and experience unworldly bliss in our free time. -Sometimes you may enter the Bardo when attempting to Jhana. The Bardo is the place the soul goes when the body falls away. Sort of like an in-between place. Entering this place can be especially confusing, frightening or incredibly blissful. Don't worry about entering the Bardo should you enter it on accident, plenty of practitioners do this by accident on retreat. If you feel disconnected from your body and get frightened, simply return to the present moment. -Out of body experiences sometimes happen. -Don't try to 'hold' onto a Jhana. If you come to a place where the bliss begins to end, don't try to cling to a jhana or walk around with it in your daily life. Allow it to come and go freely. When it is here, great! When it goes, let it go.

It is. Especialy if your mind has good synergy with it. Iv known people that go paranoid if they take to much, but for me its just pure bliss. But the same could be said for any drug. I could totaly loose myself in LSD if i would allow myself to. Its just as amazing in its own way as weed. The fading into nothingness and the slight erotic skin sensation being the only thing left you feel while experiencing nothing but strange fractal paterns is pure bliss aswell. I could do it every weekend and it would probebly never get old... But i wont ? ill suffer like the grumpy ass i am.

Lol, oh I'm aware. That's how Leo does things to keep control over the dogma... his teachings are sacred, higher than Buddha, higher than Jesus... if only the people who had spent 70-80 years training their minds through actual training, insight, and contemplation had just gotten their hands on some DMT! But hey, don't take my word for it. Peter Ralston, who was once Leo's #1 teacher, told him repeatedly to lay off the drugs and do the work. And the results of that choice are evident. Leo is attached to the label of God and has built a kingdom of beliefs around it. Maybe he has experienced the void beneath the God state, but to express that publicly would be an admission that he has not gone "all the way"... and that's not good for his business model of guru. But as Leo says, verify it. There are states deeper and more profound than infinite consciousness. If you are happy to hang out in God-bliss-land, however, suit yourself.

Oddly enough, solipsism has never really activated agitation in the mind. It’s been strange observing how many threads and how much resistance on the forum there is about solipsism. I just have no problems with it. In my experience, realizing solipsism has an incredibly palpable heart element. Recognizing absolute solipsism feels heart wrenching, it’s like tapping into infinite interconnectivity and taking on the weight of reality’s pain, joy, sorrow, ecstasy, bliss, suffering, peace, love… it’s all just one. And that oneness is overwhelmingly beautiful and I suppose could be horrifying to the unprepared mind. Perhaps an acquired taste. Yet there is a very grounded element to solipsism, an intrinsic freedom and equilibrium it necessitates. Yes it’s on some level horrifying, but on the other-hand, it is utterly unifying. Every moment, a perfect union with all other moments and beings. I don’t know how to describe why such an actuality is so supportive, but it is, truly, supportive.

Especially with psychedelics, there can be all sorts of awesome experiences and peeks behind the curtain... Unity-consciousness, etc. Fun stuff, but yeah it can certainly be very scary seeing that the distinction between you and the entirety of existence is imaginary / has no substance! But this is a very ordered dream without real danger (but also without real safety) so there’s nothing really to fear, but in many cases of this sort of thing yeah terror is basically just par for the course. Ego-death and being God can seem to happen, at which point the fear is usually gone because it’s generally such an incredibly high state, but the “middle zones” can be quite terrifying and it can sort of follow a rule of “uncanny valley” where the closer you get to ego-death without fully getting there, the scarier it is. The advanced meditation paths of Buddhism, etc plan for this by recommending very good concentration and the ability to manifest bliss-on-demand so that any fear of emptiness is met with waves of overpowering bliss that kind of distract one from the fear or make them not particularly care. Even in the beginning I didn’t exactly think this was mere wishful thinking (if I did I probably wouldn’t have practiced much) — I had faith in the techniques — but until I started being able to enter jhanas, I really didn’t have any concrete basis for thinking it was anything other than make-believe... but bliss-on-demand can definitely be cultivated.

@Breakingthewall However, the dream world is (or at least very much seems to be) an apparent manifestation of infinite intelligence. It exists for no purpose (nor does it actually exist at all), but in a way that’s the same as saying the sole purpose is amusement. All it has as the vehicle for amusement is what you call you. Synchronicities and patterns and awe, gratitude, love, joy, bliss, meaning, and awesomeness and shittiness and all manner of diversity are the nature of the dream world. It’s interesting without limit, so that it can be interested without limit. Absolute freedom. All the intelligence there is, and this is what it imagines, selflessly. If it ain’t quite awesome, look a little harder (open your eyes), and trust it; trust the flow; trust feeling. Nothing is hidden unless something being hidden is part of the unified whole or, dare I say, the plan. It is ultimately without meaning, purpose, and even actuality, but it is ordered in a way that makes purpose not only really easy to find, but also easy to forgo.

I'm now interested more and more in self isolation. Just the way I was when I first joined the forum. It wasn't exactly bliss but it was real and comforting. It felt authentic. It felt like I could have deeper self-conversations.. What's the point of socialization anyway if nobody cares to truly understand or accept you? How do you feel comfort or even productive in a hyper competitive environment? What's the point if everything just leads to fights and fights and fights and misunderstanding?

This idea is based off of my other post titled Discipline is Ratshit - The Art of Blissipline. I often hear people talking about procrastination and how it is "bad" or must be avoided and dealt with. But rarely, do I hear people talking about how procrastination is actually a good thing. I mean think about it. What is procrastination really and what is its function? Here is what I am come to as a result to my contemplations on the matter. I may be wrong, so please feel free to contribute or disagree or whatever. What is Procrastination? (My personal answers from my Contemplations) Procrastination is avoiding emotional labor is the thought the first crossed my mind. But I realized that procrastination as a concept is much more broad than that. I came up with the definition that procrastination is the "process of delaying, postponing, or avoiding something." This means that if you have any thought of something and you either delay, postpone, or avoid doing it at the moment, you are procrastinating. This makes it seem silly to "eliminate procrastination." If we eliminated procrastination, then every thought you have of doing something, you would have to act on it right at the given moment. If I have a thought that I want to call my parents, then me not calling them would be procrastination. But I guess it really depends on how it is framed. For instance, you may be studying or you may have been procrastinating on your work, school, or life purpose. You then take action to do your life purpose, work, and school studies when a thought to call your parents or go out with your friends seeps into your mind. The thought to hang out with others may appear to be a distraction, or it could be viewed as a way to procrastinate, or your current attempts to grind to get your work done and stay busy doing schoolwork that you don't wanna do could be viewed as the distraction or the procrastination from facing your fears in calling your parents, etc. You see? Distraction and procrastination are relative to what your current highest love, bliss, and inspiration you have at the given moment. That is why being Blissiplined is important as opposed to being disciplined. Blissipline is simply being a disciple or student of what your highest bliss, love, and inspiration. It is being an employee of your higher-self. Whereas discipline is traditionally thought of as grinding through work to get it done. The discipline mindset views procrastination as the enemy, as something to "eliminate." But you are not really eliminating procrastination through your disciplined mindset approach. What you are really doing is procrastinating on your highest bliss, inspirations, and love for life. The disciplined mindset may view thoughts of inspiration to hang out with friends and call family as a distraction that will lead you to procrastinate, but actually, the real distraction is your not following your inspirations and love. You may think that grinding through your work or your 9-5 grind is your inspiration, which it actually may be your initial inspiration at first. I may have an initial inspiration to write a book. I may be flowing through it, but I may get to a point where that flow begins to turn into a grind. When it becomes a grind, I may not have that initial joy as I once did, and that is okay. The mind needs to procrastinate in order to critically analyze our choices and plans, as well as to keep us in alignment with our highest values, joys, and inspirations in life. If you are having fun and are in alignment with your higher self, procrastination is not such a bad thing as long as it is expanding you towards your higher-self and not as an escape to go into your lower-self. "Sometimes doing nothing very often leads to the very best of something." -- Pooh. Conscious Procrastination Vs. Unconscious Procrastination Conscious procrastination is "the process of actively delaying, avoiding, and postponing areas of your life that are no longer serving you, so that you can embody more love, inspiration, insight, and wisdom into your life, to better help you be in flow with your mission and highest bliss." This is what I was discussing above in that conscious procrastination is deliberately delaying our tasks so that way we can tune into where things in life are already figured out for us. On the contrary, unconscious procrastination can lead to negative results for our lives. I define unconscious procrastination as "the process of delaying, avoiding, or postponing something despite knowing that it will have negative consequences for you." I think unconscious procrastination is what people often talk about when they are wanting to "eliminate procrastination." They really want to eliminate unconscious procrastination but not conscious procrastination. Without conscious procrastination, we cannot be in alignment with our highest blisses in life. Society, as well as our mind, is always designed to keep us busy with problems, but our soul or spirit is always designed to keep us attuned to our intuition, passions, fun, cheer, excitement, joys, etc. Our soul/spirit is the child to our adult selves. Our minds are the rational adult and our spirit is the emotional child. None is "better" than the other. Both parts of our psyche are important. We need the child-like part to connect back with spirit, magic, and wonder, while also keeping the adult-like part to have the rationality to help us survive. The key is balance and how our relationships are with all the different parts of our minds. It is kind of the Id and superego in Freud's psychoanalysis model. We can't be too disciplined and neither can we be too impulsive either. I mean, we can but a "healthy" psyche is not at discord with itself. The ideal is for all parts of our minds to be welcomed and for all parts to be on the same mission to serve our higher-self. What I mean by higher-self is being in harmony with our intuition, heart, passions, joys, bliss, creativity, and all that makes us our best and highest versions of ourselves. Our lower-self is fearful, disconnected from feelings (hyper-logical), depressed, uninspired, addicted, etc. Conscious procrastination is about being on the path towards our higher-self. If that means to take a break and do nothing so that you can quiet your mind for an answer to come, then go do that. Productivity is a trap, which can make people believe that procrastination is an evil to be procrastinated with (see what I did there? lol). But in reality, the productivity mindset that unused time is wasted time has the energy of your lower-self if you can intuit that. How can you ever waste time if you enjoy time and are in alignment with your higher-self? Your higher-self doesn't need to work to figure things out. Your higher-self is always tuned into where things are already figured out for you. Your higher-self is your intuition. All you have to do is do nothing, connect with being, listen to your intuition, and have the courage to follow your heart. I hope all of that helped! I encourage anyone to contribute to these ideas here. All perspectives are welcomed!

Jesus is beyond belief. The love, awe, bliss, grace, all that you may attribute to him and being from him is felt and known because it is your own light, "I am the light, the way". That love is the most and only "real" thing, so real it transcends life, death, existence and non existence of teacher and student, god and man. You don't have to give up anything. Fear and reverence is a form of mockery and degradation, because the love that is the heart and the only reality of the reverence will burn away any fears or wrongly assumed beliefs of separation. I dare you. Love him more. He isn't a thought. He isn't an image and neither is love.

I posted this in the wrong thread! This is supposed to be in the philosophy, self-actualization section of the forum. Thanks. Sorry for inconvenience. Hear me out. I have been contemplating the nature of Value Theory, which tries to answer the question: "What is the Good Life, and how can I live it?" I have also been contemplating morality since living a Good Life is linked to the goodness and standards of conduct we bring to our communities. Please note that this here is the result of my contemplations on the subject. In no way is this absolute truth or any of that BS. I would encourage you all to contribute and expand/elaborate on my ideas here to tackle the issue of Value Theory and Morality. Thanks! To start, there are several theories in philosophy on what the Good Life is. There is hedonism, eudaemonia, desire satisfaction theory, and many more. I will focus on mainly these theories here. What is a Good Life So what does a Good Life boil down to? I mean what is it really that you want out of life? What do you really want? Cars? Sex? Drugs? Spiritual mindgasms? Here is my perspective, what you really want out of life is a feeling. That is what I find that it boils down to. What you really want is not a college degree or to travel the world, or to make millions of dollars. That is all material. What you really want is the immaterial. What you ultimately want is a feeling, the feeling of true happiness and bliss. This is related to my other post on how "Discipline is Ratshit - The Art of Blissipline." Blissipline is about being a disciple of your highest bliss in life. Whereas discipline is more commonly thought of as working your ass off and grinding even though it might not bring intrinsic happiness. Blissipline is more focused on intrinsic happiness (immediate bliss), whereas discipline is focused more on instrumental happiness (future, long-term happiness). Value Theories: Hedonism, Eudaemonia, Desire Satisfaction Theory Here is where hedonism comes in. What you really want is a feeling of bliss, of feeling content, excited, happy, and complete. Hedonism is the view that happiness is the ultimate good in that what a Good Life really is, is one that is lived happily. Most people misunderstand hedonism to be the pursuit of pleasure, but this is not true hedonism. Hedonism believes that happiness is most essential to live a good life, but happiness is not what we think. Sit down and contemplate what happiness is. For me, happiness is not a dopamine hit from sitting in a pleasurable hot tub. Although, that could be a form of happiness, I find that happiness for me means to be completely high on life itself - To be completely satisfied with the present moment and living true Heaven on earth. With true happiness, there is nothing to pursue because happiness is about being and not doing. All pursuits come from an implicit assumption that happiness needs to be chased. This of course implies that the chaser does not have happiness unless they reach a goal. But this is folly. Happiness is what is left when there is nothing left to do. The film Christopher Robin highlights this beautifully when Christopher and Winnie the Pooh say "Doing Nothing very often leads to very best of something." What this means is that "doing" is the chasing. When you stop "doing" and start "being," you are in alignment with your higher self and your deepest Blissiplines in life. All of this aligns with what true Hedonism is. Eudaemonia and desire satisfaction are closely related to hedonism, but they are distinct. For instance, Eudaemonia suggests that meaning is the center of life, and a Good Life is one that is meaningful. Desire satisfaction theory suggests that a Good Life is measured by getting what we want and desire. Eudaemonia is a good theory, but I think it boils down to hedonism. Why is meaning in life important? Also, who is it that is judging what a Good Life is and what a Good Life is not? If we look at someone else, we may say they lived a Good Life if we believed that they accomplished their goals and did something meaningful with their lives instead of wobbling around the Hundred Acre Woods all day. This is why the framing of the question of what a Good Life is essential. Eudaemonia seems appealing because our society is focused on productivity, goal-orientation, and less focused on recreation, leisure, and playfulness. But ultimately, if a person has a meaningful life, but they are not happy, did they really have a Good Life? I mean from our perspective, they appear to have a Good Life. Robin Williams comes to mind for someone I thought had a Good Life because I believe that his life was meaningful. But from Robin Williams' perspective, his life was probably a nightmare. I do not know this for certain, as I am guessing his point of view at this point, but if we take this thought experiment to heart, we can see that living the Good Life ultimately boils down to how happy you are and if you are following your heart and highest blisses in life. Difference between Hedonism and Desire Satisfaction Theory With desire satisfaction theory, I think this is more like how most people view hedonism. I think it is really easy to confuse desire satisfaction theory with hedonism, but here is the difference. Hedonism is believes happiness is essential to living the Good Life, whereas desire satisfaction theory (DST) states that a Good Life is one that where a person gets what they want. DST believes that desire is most important for living a good life. The issue with DST is that desire is always future-oriented. This is the common conflation between hedonism and DST. Hedonism is more about intrinsic happiness, where as DST is about instrumental pleasure and meeting our desires. The problem with DST is that most of the time, we don't know what we really want. Sometimes, we desire for something that does not really bring us true happiness in the end. For instance, you may have desired for a college degree, to be a video game designer for Ubisoft, to have millions of mansions and women, but we later find out when we have all of our desires that something else is missing. A lot of people end up having more desires and goals to chase - trying to get even more money and even more status, while not realizing that what you desire is not always what you really want. As Morgan Freeman says in Bruce Almightly: "Since when do people know what they want?" Think about that one. Morality I go back and forth on the nature or metaethics of morality. Metaethics tries to understand what the nature of morality is. Is morality objective? Absolute? Relative? Etc.? I have gone back and forth between moral objectivism and moral relativism. Moral objectivism suggests that morality is objective. This means that there are true and false, or right and wrong ways to act in the world. Moral relativism suggests that morality is ultimately relative, which means that there is no right or wrong, or true or false when it comes to moral conduct. The moral conduct according to relativists is subjective to individuals and collective cultures/societies. No society is more right or wrong than another. However, moral objectivism states that this is false. They state that morality has correct answers that are independent from sociocultural contexts and people's opinions. For instance, there is a right and wrong answer to if a certain mushroom is poisonous or healthy. This is how a moral objectivist views morality. They view morality as having right or wrong answers that are independent to what we may believe. The earth is appears to be a sphere from the perspective of being in outer space despite a flat earther's opinion. Also, beating a child is also wrong regardless of what we believe because the act of beating a child is not the healthiest way to build a society, nor is that act selfless. Morality is really all about a community and about selflessness. If morality is not based on selflessness, of living in harmony as a community, then the community cannot function. Morality is like the water to the garden. Without morality, the garden dies. There are right and wrong ways to grow a healthy garden if that is what we want. When a relativist says that "well who says that living healthy and selfless matters?" Well, it really doesn't in the ultimate degree in the same way that it does not matter what plant you eat in the jungle. However, there are right and wrong ways to be selfless, loving, and healthy relative to how we define them. The plant is poisonous or edible regardless of what you or I believe. I, as the moral objectivist say that there is a right or wrong in that the plant is either poisonous or it isn't. But you as the relativist may say that the plant is poisonous relative to your human organism but maybe not to some other creature. This is true. But this does not dismiss the fact that relative to human organism, and relative to building a selfless society, there are right and wrong ways to do that. It isn't just its all opinion. If you care about survival (which you mostly likely do), morality will be important if you want to live in harmony with others and contribute in a positive way to the world. Of course, survival itself is relative, but relative to how you want to survive and your values, there are right and wrong ways to go about them. If you value well-being (however you define that), there will be right and wrong ways in how you go about that. Of course, there are multiple factors like well-being relative to you or to society? and etc. Utilitarianism Utilitarianism is the view of how to act morally. Utilitarianism is a form of consequentialism that suggests that the most moral action is one in which brings about the most happiness to the world for the greater good. Utilitarianism also operates from the notion of hedonism, which I already defined as viewing a Good Life as being in harmony with one's bliss and happiness. In the same way, utilitarianism is correct because all morality I think boils down to how conscious a society is. The more conscious a society is, the more blissful and happy they will be. Today, our society lives in fear and in prejudice, etc. True utilitarianism wants to do the best actions to raise the consciousness of humanity. They want to maximize consciousness and happiness for the world. This theory of morality is true because if morality isn't based on what a Good Life is, then what is the function of morality? The function of morality number 1 is to survive in a community setting. The next function of morality is justice and promote social harmony for communities to live together. With social harmony, there are right and wrong ways to go about that. A relativist may argue that "Well my definition of social harmony could be to blow up the world in the name of my God." But if you think about that deeper, you just create more terror and more fear in both the short-term and long-term. The utilitarian is focused on consequences of actions, but a true utilitarian cares about both. Our actions can inspire others to follow, which if we led good actions, we lead good lives for the community at large. Remember utilitarianism is tied with hedonism. What we really are after is a feeling. True hedonists live in the present moment and strive to be happy now. The classic objection against utilitarianism is the it is subjective in that people can have the "ends justify the means" in that they care about the future of the world and consequences of actions. But a utilitarian devoid of the effects of their present actions is not a true utilitarian. Our karma is our actions tied to consequences. If we do something bad now to get something good later, we are fooling ourselves because how we act now attracts what we will get in the future. Anyways, these are my thoughts on all of this. You are encouraged to contribute to these ideas here or disagree. I would appreciate to hear your thoughts on what you think about Value Theory and Morality. "The flower doesn't dream of the bee, it blossoms and the bees come!" - David Lion Thanks!

Well, Leo is clearly not the happiest person around. I’m not saying he’s depressed, but you can definitely find other spiritual teachers who are at a higher state of bliss/ecstasy, which they got from deep meditation. But they didn’t get as much ‘understanding’ of reality (which is a mental thing) as Leo did with psychedelics. Instead, they achieved states of meditation with intense levels of spiritual pleasure, which is centralised in the body. I would like both, but I prefer the latter since I’m an idealist. I found that the vast majority of spiritual teachers are idealists, looking for an ‘experience’ of enlightenment rather than just ‘understanding’.