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No expectations. Purpose. The question is not "if". The question is "how". And knowing exactly how would ruin the fun part. It's all a part of the journey. Pain is welcome. No matter how hard to swallow. Wouldn't be half the artist I am without suffering. Love will always have the final word. And I...I will always dream. Transformation, baby!

@Gili Trawangan what do you mean ignore it at my own peril? Also in terms of inner work. I DO do that. Transformation mastery, meditation, therapy 1x a week, journaling, deepest fear exercises. I definitely doninner work, but it doesn’t do shiit. It’s like I know why I’m fucked up but nothing changes. It’s like ok I know I’m a bird, but I’m still a bird

OH. MY. GOD. OK...uhm...I am going to start this by making it clear that there is absolutely no possible way for me to describe exactly what the hell happened last night. I can only dance around it like a lunatic. It's probably going to be sloppy and not very well articulated, as I have not integrated the experience fully... Or at all. Not even sure if I can call it "an experience"... I'm still kinda shocked from what went down. However; I want to get it out while it's still fresh and raw. Will let it marinate. The idea is to let go and see if anything valuable comes out of this post-documentation, on it's own. Be not mistaken; I am going to write about this from a rather limited perspective and level of understanding. Although there was no "me" involved, really. It all happened to awareness, by awareness, within awareness. So here goes nothing... Some background: Had a strong intention of breaking the pattern and living intuitively these days. Acting on intuition strictly instead upon thoughts. Ignoring them. Turning the cheek on them. Emphasizing synchronized being and surrender. Have no job. No responsibilities. Live alone, far away from anyone I know. Parted ways with my gf. So basically have all the time in the world. Absolute freedom to experiment and do whatever the hell I feel like doing. Reached whole new levels of mindfulness and mindstillness. The breath deepened, blasted through. Senses sharpened. Linearity started fading. Perception was getting increasingly higher in definition. I was centered. Calm. Blissfully fulfilled. On the flip side; Went through a few ego backlashes, conceptual deaths, minor panic attacks and everything that comes with the package. Felt like I was dancing with physical death often. Insanity was right next door. Had difficulties with staying grounded. The body started adjusting itself in weird ways. Troubles with maintaining breathing pattern. Occasionally lost in thoughts and emotions. Overall; was embracing the process of transformation - looking forward to that next big shift. And boy was it big and intense. Completely caught me off guard. There is just no possible way to ever be "ready" for this. Impossible. It's always 100% real and in your face. Can turn no cheek on death when it comes for ya. It's horrifying. But... Turns out; death is not even the biggest fear, really. There is something else. Hyper-awareness: Cannot find a more suitable word. This one seems to sit well. I can only describe it as becoming "way too aware" of every tiny little detail in reality. Of its totality. Simultaneously. Continuously. So much so it starts to freeze. Crystalize. Time starts slowing down; stopping. Literally. Actually. It's crazy! Every configuration of reality; every split second is like a snapshot. And you are not the experiencer of it. Nor the observer. You are freaking it! You are each and every one of those frozen, static snapshots. Nothing in-between. Think stroboscope! The five human senses completely dissolve. Collapse. No lag in perception whatsoever. Not a corner blured in visual field. Crystal clarity. Language starts sounding like garbage. Nonsense. All sounds merge into a giant sonic field. All undefined. Sensations turn alien. Otherworldly and super sterile. Oh man... I can already see how I'm chasing my own tail. There just is no way for me to give this any justice. It's just way beyond my comprehension. It's like swimming within myself. Moving within stillnes. Absolutely crazy. Each thought is a reality on it's own! As perfect and complete as it can be. A static snapshot! Each thought is THE TRUTH! That's the paradox! You're already in it. You are it. You're a thought experiencing itself. Right now, right here. "Reality" only seems solid and "real" because your mind can't catch up with it. It's happening waaay too fast; to put it that way. Yet it's static. You're only jumping from one complete configuration of reality to another. Shifting continuously. As if you were running from yourself. And you do this only because you fear crystalization. You don't fear death. You fear being frozen in time. In no time. And not as you now might think. Not as a human being. As pure, crystalized awareness. Holy macaroni! I really do hope any of this makes sense to you. I could not overblow it even if I wanted to. I'm just trying my best here. This is not just about transcending the mind/body complex. It's so much more. Your true work only starts after letting death pass through. It does not end it. Not even nearly. Death is still within the game. This... This is not a game anymore. I have no idea what it is but it's unlike anything. And somehow I am it. But also not. "GOD" is not a good enough word for it. Nothing can give it justice. It is unthinkable. Unimaginable. Incomprehensible. Somehow I became aware of every possible configuration of reality "within my reach" last night. There was not a single move I could make without seeing it happen beforehand. It's hard to explain because there was no more experience of time. No before and no after. And I was not really seeing the configurations... More like sensing them. Being aware of them. It all happened within pure awareness. Was on extremely high alert. Shifted from taking everything for granted to taking nothing for granted, whatsoever. Paying attention close, unlike ever before. All naturally; through synchronicity and surrender. The Hologram; This is how reality is. I feel pretty confident to claim that the mind is responsible for it. Imagine standing still while simultaneously, rapidly spinning around yourself. That which is still, is nothing. It's the formless you. That which is spinning rapidly, is the infinite amount of configurations of reality. Of thoughts...Of you! Hah! It's all one; however you put it. But in order to reach an understanding of yourself, you must separate yourself from yourself. Create an illusion of duality. Which is exactly what's been going down all this time and now you know why. You cannot see the hologram, because you're immersed in it. You don't see the projector because you're too occupied with the projection. I cannot let you know how to step outside of it, but it can be done. Only you know the way. But you must face your biggest fears. They are the guardians of exits; to put it that way. Of course I'm only scratching the surface here. Will share more in depth insights once I integrate and do further investigations/explorations. The sweet sleep; Thank God there is a percentage of you that is unconscious of itself. Seriously. Be grateful for it. Being 100% aware of your totality is not a tea party. To a human being; it is beyond any imaginable horror. At least it scared the shit out of me. Managed to "lower" my frequency/level of awareness by masturbating for an hour and watching nonsense on my phone. The only two distractions I could (barely) come up with. It was just over the top. Back in the game. Feeling (mostly) human. Need a break.

mandyjw, How can you be Him? First of all, you were created by God. Secondly, you're not the same gender as He. So, thirdly, you're not my old flame. Nothingness is the absence of beauty. Beauty is the fullness of being. I'm very happy for the imperfect to be made perfect, for the corruption of all things to dissolve and be replaced by incorruption, in other words TRANSFORMATION. That and our reconciliation with our Creator is the ultimate goal. Andrea

TLDR; Need 3 more people to request a 3 months consciousness program with Peter Ralston from August to October 2019. Let's be clear. When we talk about enlightenment you really have no idea what is being talked about. What you have has to be an image, a thought, a concept or some kind of perception but not the enlightenment itself at all. Something that is not generally knowing is that the absolute most of the times is "incompletely" realized. You can know what your nature is, clearly, yet not know what another is, or life is or what existence is. Your insight is, yes, "absolutely true" but still you somehow still make the error of perceiving that as your nature only and not the nature of everything else. What's inspiring is that you really are encouraged to be at the driver seat and do it now. You are repeatedly instructed to get it now, directly. I mean really do it now, at each moment. Seriously, how do you know you need 10,000 hours? This is not a "skill" we are trying to develop. We are trying to have an insight into the absolute nature of something, whatever that is. The absolute is not relative. The absolute is not a function of mind or the brain. The mind exists as a function of the absolute and so does the brain. The consciousness is a higher order property of all of perceptions. The absolute contains(or is the same as) all distinctions. How is it that you relate something you have no idea about (absolute) to a thought (10,000 hours)? Could this somehow open you up into considering that you can actually do it now? I am here to find people who care about actually understanding what is occurring for them. Individuals that want to put an end to the bullshit and set out to investigate with real openness and intent. I want you to know that if you really care about the results, If you really want to understand what is being talked about and you are willing to throw all fantasies and beliefs regarding enlightenment and consciousness and get what is actually true and real then I invite you to consider attending a 3 Month Consciousness Program with Peter Ralston. Significant points: The program will most likely run from August to October 2019. (90 days) Details about schedule/pricing http://chenghsin.com/workshop-threemonthtraining.html The beginning of August to the end of October. The Cheng Hsin Center is located in Texas, United States. The program actually ends with a whole 1 month workshop. Specifically designed to penetrate your experience. http://chenghsin.com/workshop-fall-series.html This might be your last chance. Peter mentioned multiple times that he wants to retire. He might die as well... Be imbued with the attitude of "I am powerful and so are you." Actually get what it takes to be a powerful human being. Aren't you tired of superficial change? ~2 hours of Peter lecture almost everyday. You can simply raise your hands and ask questions. Use the force of other people, the pressure of the environment to increase your odds. You will work on personal transformation too. Such a two fold approach seems to ground the work. Peter mentioned that this approach actually increases the odds of absolute breakthrough even more. The "method" is completely open. I just said, COMPLETELY OPEN. It is the equivalent of saying that there is no method. The goal is to become directly conscious, using whatever means possible. Ever had this doubt thing going on when meditating? Is this the method/the way or whatever? Your doubts will be acknowledged and you will be instructed to go in whatever direction is necessary. Only truth is the goal. My sole purpose of writing this is to gather enough people so that I can do the program myself, as Peter only does them with usually a minimum requirement of 6 people. We currently have 3. There is no guarantee that Peter will agree. We have to contact him personally. Please beware that there is a chance there will be a 7 month apprenticeship program in 2020 or sometime after. (not guaranteed as well) Please ask me anything below, private message me if you're interested in attending.

Check this one out ''...I would like to share the following teaching I received several years back when I was studying Shamanism. Picture a warrior with bow, quiver and arrows. The bow is a symbol for you as "self," aiming at the target of life. The quiver, your bag of physical and spiritual resources, contains seven dark arrows, seven light arrows, and seven rainbow arrows. These arrows represent the decisions and choices you make from moment to moment about how you direct the energies of your life experience. We are in the dark mirror when we seek validation for self outside of self, looking for emotional approval, mental recognition, physical security, and /or spiritual acceptance from others. When this occurs in our life, we are out of balance and we give away our power, picking up one or more dark arrows to aim at the target of life. The seven dark arrows are: attachment, dependency, judgment, comparison, expectation, the needy child syndrome, and ego self-importance. It is the dark arrows that keep us stuck in our patterns and in karma, with low self-esteem and a negative, skewed approach to life and the world. We are in the light mirror when we carry within ourselves self-reliance and personal happiness regardless of how others perceive us and react to us. We are now empowered to be all we can be, gaining individuality, transforming karma into dharma, and picking up the seven light arrows in the process. The light arrows are: self-awareness, self-appreciation, self-acceptance, self-pleasure, self-love, self-actualization, and impeccability (always doing the best you can whenever you can, and if you could do better you would). Each time we pick up a light arrow we break a dark one, and through this process of transformation we are gifted with a rainbow arrow. The seven rainbow arrows are: illumination, introspection, trust and innocence, wisdom, open heart-to-heart communication, balance of male and female energies, and abundance and prosperity. We are now fully matured, self-actualizing humans.'' -TDLH

I have been observing some of the most recent heated posts and feel this may help bring some awareness to my brothers and sisters when responding or projecting your thoughts on this open forum. I would like to share the following teaching I received several years back when I was studying Shamanism. Picture a warrior with bow, quiver and arrows. The bow is a symbol for you as "self," aiming at the target of life. The quiver, your bag of physical and spiritual resources, contains seven dark arrows, seven light arrows, and seven rainbow arrows. These arrows represent the decisions and choices you make from moment to moment about how you direct the energies of your life experience. We are in the dark mirror when we seek validation for self outside of self, looking for emotional approval, mental recognition, physical security, and /or spiritual acceptance from others. When this occurs in our life, we are out of balance and we give away our power, picking up one or more dark arrows to aim at the target of life. The seven dark arrows are: attachment, dependency, judgment, comparison, expectation, the needy child syndrome, and ego self-importance. It is the dark arrows that keep us stuck in our patterns and in karma, with low self-esteem and a negative, skewed approach to life and the world. We are in the light mirror when we carry within ourselves self-reliance and personal happiness regardless of how others perceive us and react to us. We are now empowered to be all we can be, gaining individuality, transforming karma into dharma, and picking up the seven light arrows in the process. The light arrows are: self-awareness, self-appreciation, self-acceptance, self-pleasure, self-love, self-actualization, and impeccability (always doing the best you can whenever you can, and if you could do better you would). Each time we pick up a light arrow we break a dark one, and through this process of transformation we are gifted with a rainbow arrow. The seven rainbow arrows are: illumination, introspection, trust and innocence, wisdom, open heart-to-heart communication, balance of male and female energies, and abundance and prosperity. We are now fully matured, self-actualizing humans. Source of information: Song of the Deer by Thunder Strikes and Jan Orsi. and http://www.thewildrose.net Lyn "Starflyer" Hopkins and Shama, Cht, CDC, TDE One of the teachings I received on the Shamanic path that still bites me in the ass is: “Self importance is nothing more than a mask for Self Pity”. Sincerely and with Gratitude!

Hurrah! I did it. My place is now clean again, and I also did a 20-min yoga-program. Gosh, it has been more difficult to keep up my yoga-pratice lately. Whenever I make a decision that I want to focus with more dedication on something it usually comes out of a sense of suffering and that I need something to cling on to in this difficult life, but then after a while of having been dedicated to something it brings good results and I feel better and then the need to focus on it doesn't feel so pressing anymore, so it becomes harder to maintain my discipline. That has happened with my yoga-practice now. I feel much better in my body, and my mood seems more stable as well. But no need to get complacent now. If I want to continue getting these results this is certainly the time to keep going. I just got to be aware of all the different ways that this resistance I sometimes feel will manifest itself. In fact I should expect this resistance to come up a lot - that is what I'm working with. We all have this resistance in us I believe. But those who choose to do a spiritual practice will go through a beautiful transformation if they continue to work with this resistance. Even though I've been practicing both yoga and meditation for a long time I still only feel "half baked."

Many so-called rational people completely underestimate the Bible. "To the one who is victorious and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations—that one ‘will rule them with an iron scepter and will dash them to pieces like pottery’—just as I have received authority from my Father." - Revelation 2:26-27 "The one" who will be victorious is not a single person, like a dictator, but the global collective consciousness. "You will break them with a rod of iron; you will dash them to pieces like pottery. Therefore, you kings, be wise; be warned, you rulers of the earth." - Psalm 2:9-10 "Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” ... There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." - Revelation 21 "The infant will play near the cobra’s den, and the young child will put its hand into the viper’s nest. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain, for the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea." - Isaiah 11:8-9 At the same time there are Christians who misinterpret the Bible. The Rapture is not about being taken to heaven. "Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed—in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality." - 1 Corinthians 15:52-53 "After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever." - 1 Thessalonians 4:17 If the Rapture was about being taken to heaven, then that would be basically the same as death. And people will be resurrected on earth, since the dead are already in heaven. "Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven." - Matthew 22:29-30 The Rapture is about a transformation here on earth and "meeting the Lord in the clouds" is about our ability to levitate with our glorified bodies here on earth, not in heaven. To the "rational" person this might seem like fairy tales, but consider the possibility that our reality is deliberately limited. Arthur C. Clarke's 3 "laws": When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

@Truth Addict If you spot it, you got it. Did anyone guide Dr. Strange to a manifestation of his True Nature? So. . . I also am in a bit of a personal transformation dilemma. That rascal @Nahm won’t show me how to build a crystal grid that transcends nonduality, stage Coral and 5-meo. So I guess I better go create a grid without an instruction manual. I don’t know how to create it, yet I do.

A while back there was an insight/joke here on the Journal forum about spongebob being hung up spending 3 hours writing the word 'the'. I've had a bad case of it lately. I thought writing about it might help me get past it. One reason for it is an avalanche of ideas coming together. The ingredients here are - the idea of shadow work, forgiveness and love as a focal point in practice, kenosis (letting go), metanoia (reversal), transformation in rebirth, unveiling of essential qualities, 3 Centered Awareness as the result of alchemy.

Can one expect a raise in consciousness and inner transformation from just staying present to the moment throughout daily life? I often forget to stay present when driving or doing mundane tasks and wonder how much different I would be as a person if I always took advantage of opportunities to stay present. I'll be testing this out more for myself but was wondering what other peoples experience has been when using presence as a tool for brain function, equanimity, peace of mind, consciousness, inner growth, happiness and other benefits. Thanks

This guy is my hero. in a twist of irony to what he says in this, I am so grateful for his teaching. But i would like to get some understanding, context, and maybe guidance in how i can assimilate, or simply navigate this. Ok so there is this story told by Tara Brach which summarised my psychological mindset now. And it's about a horse. There is a horse tamer and a horse. Who would of thought? And they were really good together. He was a race horse. But before he was a race horse he would be out of control. That is, until he met this horse tamer. So one day as the horse is doing one of his routines, something happens that triggers one of his early childhood trauma that he was suffering from. And it sent him into a panic. And bucked the rider and fled in fear. So the people go to the tamer to try and get it back for the race. So the tamer goes as and acted in accordance with the respect that their close connection deserved. He approaches, but maintains a lengthy distance. A healthy distance, he stood there in the far distance. Not close enough to see his face, but not far enough so that you can't distinguish him. He's quite far. And it showed that he was there for the horse in whatever capacity it needed him to be. This was obviously to do with my conditioning as a child growing up and not being given that space needed to come to terms with reality...on your own terms and not someone elses. But then upon listening to my friend Roger he begins to say that we will compile all sorts of stories and explanations dependant on past experience and circumstance to create a version of reality. Even when we think that "all is one" and all of that. Conceptually thinking it and thinking that conceptual thought leads to experience. And that that is not the teaching. And that this place he was talking about was really transforming me while i was listening to it. Everything began to appear to me a dream. All the people i met today were dream characters and with that perception with it came this sense that i really was creating the stage for everything to happen. When you're in a dream there is a feeling present within my experience that i do not share in reality. Maybe it's not when I'm in the dream but when awake i realise that the whole setup was created by conciousness. And that there is this emotional charge that runs through each happening. And that you get to in some part decide how you'd like to participate with each happening. Attitude wise. He then speaks about "flip flopping" from enlightenment experience bringing forth great peace, to losing that and going back to the old ways of thinking. And being hard done about it. And also realising that this whole procedure of transformation is part of the dream i am creating. I want to be changing. And that conciousness doesn't have a body, but it localises it within the body as a means to partake in this life. But the whole experience can't be divided into inside and outside. And that all of this is not true as these are thoughts and ideas are dependant on circumstance and experience. And that through this flip flopping of insight, from peace to anxiety one gets upset with him/herself. And personally these insights (which he directly adresses in this video) hav led me to recognise how dependant i am upon circumstance to be happy. And he cleverly re frames it. To, now you know, this is direct proof that happiness is NOT to be found in circumstance. So you find yourself in a different place. Where your attitude counts more than you ever thought possible. Rather than think our happiness is dependant on circumstance, a flow of opposites in intercourse with each other as you observe the happening. So it's a deeper recognition that happiness comes from your attitude to circumstance and does not come from circumstance itself. I also had this surreal sense that reality is silk. That we were all connected with silk, but that silk extends through to all forms. As this way of thinking implies the real untethered connection between all things.

@TheOne transformation happens inside time, creation from nothing is outside of time. What do you think of that?

Yeah loved it on rogan. Incredible transformation however it seems he’s almost got a vendetta against all activities in relation to his old self it’s blinding his perception and could be worth integrating

A nice interview on DMT and personal transformation to be shown on ESPN. Personally, I think the interviewer spent too much time in Mike’s personal story, rather than awakening to the actuality of reality. It sounds like Mike “went there” based on the way he described ego death and being nothing. Nonetheless, I think it’s a great outreach to the mainstream. I think a lot of viewers will be impressed with Mike’s personal transformation and may pause to think “Mike was a troubled mess and now looks so content and peaceful. What’s the name of that stuff he smoked, again?”. These types of clips showing the potential of psychedelics is helpful toward evolving the social consciousness.

In the same boat. On and off. Not thought based, really. Maybe reinforced by them. Occurring spontaneously, on a physical level. My heart wants to jump out of my mouth. Difficulties with breathing. Contraction in gut area. Massive panic. Managed to tame by laying down and waiting for death to come for me. That way it just passes through, eventually. Imo, it's just a new level of accepting death. For real - not just in fantasy land. Signifies a great ongoing transformation and an upcoming massive shift. Huge upgrade! Try to surrender and embrace. You'll be fine. I'm still breathing heh.

God is infinite and unbounded. For that to be and for God to love itself it will not suppress anything. That includes all forms of suffering. That includes parts of itself which spits profanities and hates itself. The ego mechanism is designed in a way to avoid suffering where possible and overcome it when it happens. Of course you will demonize it. But to become more conscious of everything you must look beyond the judgments of ego. There just is. Being infinite has dramatic ramifications not many can accept. This does not mean to be complacent to suffering. As you become more conscious you will aim yourself to not demonize those who inflict it but understand those who do it and to accept their necessary existence right now and will align yourself to reduce it. If all is you then treat everything as you would yourself. The Bible has a lot of great teachings but you likely won't be able to grab them until you yourself become more conscious. I've went full circle believing in Christianity to hardcore atheism and now saying truth in both sides. Every teacher highlight certain aspects of the absolute. Usually those they see missing in people. We are great with dualism so no dualism is emphasized. We do fantastic with hate but not enough love. And so on. Whatever truth lies in the Bible you can find out yourself. Jesus found it. The Buddha found it and so did many other people. You can too. Psychedelics can do a lot. It will shove everything about yourself in your face and make you deal with it. If you do, you'll come out on the path of transformation. If you don't and resist it, well you can't. The inability to have control and insights that break your worldview or even just losing yourself to story upon story can lead to some negative effects. Take at your own risk. The detrimental ones are rare and even rough trips can give you a lesson. Of course don't take my word for it. You can figure this out on your own.

If you want to stay there for 2-3weeks volunteer, do your sadhana and reside, then there are no requirements for it, but if you you want to stay there for a long period and be a fulltime volunteer then usually they ask you to get initiated into at least one of their programs like inner engineering or hatha yoga or smth. Physical fitness requirement are just for those who want to do some other programs like sadhanapada (7month process for inner transformation) or smth. It's a different ball game a bit.

So I've read psycho cybernetics before and am about to reread it. I've been trying to launch a YouTube channel for quite a while but have some definite holdups. Noticing I don't feel fully confident in myself as a leader or as an authority, worried about judgment from friends and family, and just not really having many positive associations with creating and releasing content. I'm curious who here has undergone a radical, deep identity level transformation; how long did this take you and practically speaking what techniques did you use to reshape your self image, thoughts, emotions and ultimately your actions in the world? I've used affirmations and visualizations in the past so I may already have the answer here, would be nice to hear directly from people who have radically changed their life with these techniques.

I am definitely convinced of that. I'm starting to dabble in transformation of emotions.

@Leo GuraJust thought of something else that I would like to mention to you. I thought you can't get beyond the absolute. The absolute means that "you" are God. When "you" become God, that means that you're the No-self; then you make a transformation into everythingness, and then you ride the ox back into your ego (& world) with bliss, indicating that this world is the "to love realm." You can't get beyond this. That's what I thought. Once you are back into your ego, you have to observe your surrounding circumstances. Are you in adversity? Because I noticed that ppl who report the absolute without inducing it were in an adverse time in their lives. I was. I realized this. A war was taking place outside of where I lived. I was hiding while ppl outside were being stabbed to death. In my case, it reminds me of a metaphoric saying of Jesus, "Jesus, it's nice to finally meet you. Tell me something. When I look at this map of my life, you were always walking beside me. Why is it that in the most difficult time in my life I'm all alone? I can only see my footprints on this map? You're not walking beside me anymore." Then Jesus replied, "those are not your footprints. They're mine. That's when I carried you." The last line of the Jesus quote reminds me of Riding the Ox Backwards, when "you" are carried back into your ego by "yourself" because you're still one with God while making that transformation. And Leo, I'm also wondering, since you mentioned these things in your videos... What does experiencing the absolute have anything to do with brain chemistry? What does it have to do with being more spiritually "blessed?" To me, it has to do with a lot of factors. Maybe one of them being the decisions you make in your life.

because life is a paradox. it’s another catch 22. being enlightened means to transform, not to survive. but in transformation the old remains as a part of the new, the true self remains, so the current form needs to look out for it’s true form, to let the old die and rebirth itself. the only way to stop rebirthing is stepping out of society - completely, but even then it can’t be helped life still needs a form. form is not random.

I've been exploring black magic for some time now, especially the alphabet of desire. Black magic is the path of non-existence, emptiness. I found it very strange that the alphabet of desire would be placed there, but I'm finally starting to piece together what it actually means. This is the art of spiritual alchemy, transformation of emotions. Its purpose is to expose the underlying oneness of experience and uniting it in its meaninglessness. It seems to be the bodily counterpart of random belief. It has beautiful geometry, but I'm not too interested in copying it here.

Yup. Cannot deny. It is obvious to me that introspection is needed. I must inquire. Reorient. I am happy that I shed light on this aspect. Was neglecting it too much. Feeling great about the transformation now. Thanks for your assistance. I really appreciate it. ?