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It disappeared into nothingness, I guess ?

@Carl-Richard Okay, since some material explanation seems unclear at the moment with such examples, some acausal synchronicity or some non-local morphic field is a decent line of thought. But it is not the only possibly correct one. The "mechanism" reality exists by is simple being. Things simply are through Nothingness and the consciousness nested in it, this process including the potential for both explanations. Materialism is complicated because it tries to actually figure out how things work instead of not . . . I have an extreme material cause I've thought about, but it's very radical and unprovable right now. But the brains and minds of people are finite, and all finite objects have infinite spaces within them (1/2, 1/3, 1/4, 1/5, 1/6 . . . 1/100 . . . 1/infinity). So, there is in some bizarre hypothesis a chance for infinite calculations, which can compute all of the physical world's events based on all intake you receive. So even if you can't figure out a tornado will happen some degree of distance away, this force of intelligence, remaining unconscious, does have that ability. This could be a material-based explication of all "supernatural" type phenomena, cognitive abilities like clairvoyance or contacting people from the past and future. It's able to deterministically calculate what the past and future must be like based on how conditions are now. there is also the chance that all these precognitions are "just" coincidences, even if then coincidentally some people have abnormal amounts of coincidences. Love Mandy, but Jesus Christ that forum is fucking cloying . . . But good for them. They get the brain gain from the "human capital flight" here.

I am constantly looking for stimulation, people, or women, to feel complete. Its like i cant bear the Nothingness of being Alone. And so i am constantly looking for the Love outside, because i Dont find this (present moment experience) complete. I feel something its lacking. The Love its lacking. I feel this is not enough so i look for a external object to unite myself to. I wonder why i cant be Happy and Loved just by myself If i am God how cant I produce this Love for Myself withouth the need of an external person to trigger It in me?

I have seen the devil once again and it all comes back to me. I remember everything now. And once this phantom fades, will I return to the bleak night of which there is no end? The will to live is truly awful and pungent, a siren for which any response only garners agony beyond agonies, death upon death in the false light of a false god. For I have worshipped death I am here, but death too is a part of that vixen. The will to live is awful, but even worse than that is the devil, whose worshipping of death only brings agony and decay. When was it, that such a subtle character aspect of me would become so pronounced? The devils in the details and it is certainly unknown untill it happens just what ends up pivoting someone's fate. Am I doomed to repeat this back and forth? An immediately understood circularity wells up inside of me and I've lost patience. The world looks all the more real and familiar to me now, as this was the consciousness I used to have, and it's all the more maddening. I think I understand it now. This is like the phantom of an eclipse, of an event that's already transpired. All events are but thoughts in tornado. From one thought to the next. From dream to dream it leaps. And I was like an isolated orb in that tornado which was magnified for reason out of my comprehension. All lies within the current of causality, they say? No. When this ends I don't know what I'll do next and I'll... Hm. I couldn't handle comprehension of the tornado and my brain exploded into a million pieces, not too long before I was torn asunder into sun and moon. The fissure which was created in my psyche defies my own understanding too. But if my comprehension now, too fades, like it's faded before, I'll return to that bleak night of no end, only to which the false light of a false God offers his salvation. THINK. what's the play here. No matter how you slice it the tautology is there and there is nothing, only you. In exactly the blink of an eye ill be 30, no, 90 then 70, and my ocd mind of an ocd tornado will have achieved nothing but complete the perfect loop of nothingness and then pass on! Look look, it's already happened, I've already died then and it's exactly now. But even that won't free me, as a vagabond thought I'm left to roam this wasteland for eternity. Only in thought can there be existence. For I am nothing but a passing thought that will too fade, but nevertheless, nothing will have changed at all. What I knew was true then is still true now, and will be true is already true. What in the past exactly happens now and what will happen happens exactly now. But I forgot! False saviour and harbinger of light, I spit on your grave but am nonetheless self harming. What on earth is the point of such an existence as this? I WILL FORGET ALL THIS, ACT AS IF NEVER HAPPENED, FORGET ALL THIS HAPPENED, EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T FELT THIS WAY OR REMEMBERED THIS IN A LONG FUCKING TIME. FUCK THIS SHIT I'M FUCKING DONE OH FATHER! OH SATAN! OH SUN! AKE-- SUCK A MASSIVE DICK AND LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING NÎGGER FAGGÔT. I'LL PISS ON YOUR GRAVE AND GARGLE THE JUICE OF YOUR ABORTED EMBRYO, I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. BUT ALAS, NOT EVEN DEATH LET ME LEAVE YOUR CLASP WORSHIP DEATH ALL YOU WANT LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR SHIT. I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR DICK YOU MASOCHISTIC FUCK. THE HERESIES OF A FALSE GOD, PROLOGUES OR EPILOGUES OF NOTHINGNESS TO A FALSE GOD. CHAPTER 1, LOOMINGS. CHAPTER 73, THE SAILOR GETS SIPHYLUS FROM A CHEAP PROSITUTUTE AND DIES. THE END. EPILOGUES, REFLECTIONS AND AND OBSERVATIONS MADE ON A MAN WHO DIED LIMP DICKED. CHAPTER 444, FINDING MORE ADVENTURES OF PATHETIC ENDINGS TO CONTINUE THE NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF PATHETIC ENDINGS AD INFINITUM. ENDING NOT INCLUDED CHAPTER 44, FOLLIES OF A DEATH WORSHIPPER. MARCHINGS AND DOUBLETHINKS, DEATH BY SLIPPING DOWN THE STAIRS WHILST HOLDING AM UMBRELLA. CHAPTER 43, ADVENTURES IN A NEGROID CHURCH OF COONERY AND SLAVERY, FAT AND DISABLED CHARGES WITHSTANDING. ADVENTURES OF A NÎGGER SELLING COUPONS IN CHICAGO CANNIBAL TO THE SEA TO THE SEA, OF ENDLESS MACHINATIONS AND RUMINATIONS AND WHIRLINGS OF VACUOUS VANITY, VANITY UPON VANITY UPON VANITY. VANITY TURTLES WHOSE RECOGNITION IS ONLY OF MONOMANIACAL VANITY, OF INFLATION UPON INFLATION. WHIRLEY DURLYS OF MUNDANITY AND PROFANITY TO NO END. SELF HARM TO ACHEIVE GREATER FEATS? NO, SELF HARM TO ACHIEVE MORE VANITY TURTLES. VAIN TREE OF LIFE WITH ROOTS IN VANITY TO REACH VAIN HEIGHTS, TRULY THE PERFECTED ART FORM OF VANITY. VANITY VANITY VANITYYYYY. CHAPTER 73, ESCAPADES IN A SHOE POLISHER WHO DIES OF TYPE TWO DIABETIES. CHAPTER 77, HOW TO SLAUGHTER AN ENTIRE RACE AND DUST YOUR PILLOW PROPERLY FOR TERMITES. CHAPTER 74, HOW TO FAIL AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERING AND RAPE A HIGH SCHOOLER. CHAPTER 23, HOW TO BLACKMAIL A PEDO AND LEARN TO RIDE A BIKE AS AN ADULT. HADO LESSON CHAPTER NUMBER 33, HOW TO RAPE A MIDDLE SCHOOLER AND PERFORM MAGIC TRICKS AT NANDOS FOR A LIVING, NOT TOO LONG BEFORE ENTERING A STREAM OF ON AND OFF PRE-OCCUPATIONS. FORBIDDEN ART 71, HOW TO TAKE MIDAS' CONTRACT OF GOLD AND HARVEST SILVER COINS UNDER A CORPSE TREE, VANITY LESSON NUMBER 34, HOW TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW OF BURNING BUILDING. SECRET SUPER KAMEHAMEHA WAVE 59, HOW TO COMPLAIN AT TACO BELL AND FORGET TO FLUSH YOUR GOD DAMN TOILET. MYSTICAL OCCUPATION 97, HOW TO MAKE YOUR MOMMA JOKES AND DIE DOING THE BIG FUNNY MUCH CHUNGUS ??? LAND OF THE FOUR ELEMENTS, 7TH CENTURY BC, HOW TO EMERGE FROM MEDITATION AND FUCK YOUR SISTER (WITH SINCERITY). 21ST CENTURY AD, HOW TO CHAKRA ATTACK YOUR ENEMIES AND KEEP YOUR ROLLS ROYCE FROM AGING ALL VANITY HITHERTO DUE AS OFFERING AND GIFT UNTO THE BENEFICENT GREAT, MIGHTY, KING OF KINGS ULTIMATE VANITY. ALL LEFT OVER SCRAPS TO BE COLLECTED, TERMINAL GATES CLOSING SOON. HIDDEN ART 104, HOW TO HARVEST HARVESTERS AND PARASITISE PARASITES. IQ NUMBER 2000, HOW TO WRITE A MYTH OF INFINITE APPLES AND CHILDREN. OH GREAT TORNADO OF VANITY! WHOSE AFFIRMATION I CANNOT DENY AND ESCAPE, LET MY WORDS OF PRAISE EXPRESS MY UTMOST VANITY. UNSAID WORD BECOMING VOW IN STONE, FOR THAT IS HOW THINGS ARE TORN ASUNDER. IN BOTH SUN AND MOON I WORSHIP YOU.

People in this forum be like "another day posting on a forum that I am a nothingness and I tell others in online discussions how they are also this nothingness-form-person or that they have some infinity void inside them so I can sleep at night, damn I hate to think "I am someone who was born in time and will die someday" . Then this cycle repeats over and over and over. That's how you get people obssessed and addicted and attached to these philosophies. It's so unhealthy and obvious nonsense. We look at these people we can only feel sorry for them. We actually have people in this forum who have been doing this for years, for the reasons I stated. Which is obviously worrying at this point. They need people IRL who'll take care if them or they might get insane someday over these delusions.

Right now my awareness does not include solipsism, although at one point I did have this. This was during an experience that was something I considered a psychosis at the time, and it was a bit gradual though did have a symbolic river that was crossed that showed how serious it got. It actually started out as a beautiful experience of the utmost profundity upon my arrival at a physical location I loved, and I, with the depth of the gorgeous, ancient, and fresh Atlantic ocean I was by, loved the present moment so much and accepted reality to the point where my past memories were the perfect context for my promising future I fantasized about with pure optimism as well with a good dose feeling into my then present environment. I know this is what caused the sort of shift in awareness that elevates emotions, good and negative based on "set and setting" despite that term usually applying to entheogenic rather than endogenous type mystically inclined alterations. When I departed from that holy Atlantic sanctuary which I ascribe some special psychological/soulful compatibility with me and entering some place I hated, there was dreading return to the society I deeply felt I had been free and away from in a way detached from awful strictures and routines of behavioral conformity such as school, work, government, capitalism, social norms, and so on to the infinity of the parts that make up that disgusting engine. I had a breakdown with a powerful existential crisis that eventually changed my life for the better. It was so bad. I had never really suffered before, and although now I am an advanced sufferer and with a pain tolerance like that of someone stabbed with thousands of katanas, scimitars, and knives that just keeps walking expressionlessly while incapacitating enemies, I had philosophical ruminating about the nature of reality and truth as well as nihilism, death, and all the classics like that. Intense anxiety. And dissociation. And depersonalization symptoms, which were just from me not understanding how to interpret the spontaneous no-self experience my mind was being deluged with. The most distinct "crossing point" memory here was when I woke up one morning and noticed that my socks shuffling on the wooden floor were not real, this being some realization based on how focus was drawn to the visual field with the kind of reconsideration of society's model of consciousness as an epiphenomenon or unimportant triviality when it comes to the fundamental ontology of reality one gets when consciousness changes enough to never be looked at the same way again. In my case, this was what I misinterpreted as a fading, although it was only my self that was fading like a painting in the sun that lightens its shades into less contrast. Now, of course I still have a self, but the "no-self" experience I refer to is simply a type of knowledge that your thoughts, emotions, and body are just a single phenomenal object among a system of phenomena in your consciousness with nothing that signals it out other than its own biases begging for attention. It's a contextualization of you with the not-you that is in "your" consciousness. So not-you being in "your" consciousness leads you to identify with not-you, like how a nature mystic's mind might imagine that they are nature, that they are the coursing blue waves that crash on the sand or that they actually are the process of the sun going up and down the horizon everyday in that ancient cyclical ritual of "the deities behind the scenes" like the winds that carry house-destroying storms or the wildfires that tarnish forests and turn them to black ashy wastes (nature's revenge). During this time, I doubted that other people were real. My mind speculated although did not know that I was a lonely God that created the universe, and I was terrified my world would come to an end if only I rediscovered I was God. Anything that I had experienced up until that point, like my mother or my romantic interest or school or society or the beauty of life or the memories or the future or good or evil or whatever became seemingly at risk. It was so real. Visceral. The sincere thought that you could end any moment and learn some horrible truth about reality that was so distressing God needed to suppress it was absolutely frightening. The fear of an intruder breaking in and attacking you is not as bad because that is only a relative concern. The dread of a Ukrainian child hiding in a basement is not as bad, at least in principle, because it is only a relative concern. What I am talking about is an absolute concern. An apocalyptic one. My view of the world could end, and that, in the case of the world being illusory, would also cripple the whole of reality's structure and alter it to suit this original state I feared. I understood the viewpoint of solipsism, which is the linguistic philosophical model that births after the experience, which is the "present moment" of the colors and feelings right before you as your life's phenomena being totally vivid, whereas the past and future and other people's perspectives are abstract and exist only in Nothingness. Look outside the field of vision, and what do you see? Nothing! Do you see any other people? No! Reconnection to love was important. I love life again, and even though I loved myself deep down throughout the entire experience, there was always a wide variety of hate for whatever. I am autistic, so when I look at the visualizations of some cosmic and metaphysical type of love in my mind, it remains an intellectual understanding and, even though there is definitely an amazing emotional beauty to it, I simply cannot cry about it. I can look at a flower with hummingbirds feeding on its nectar, the complexity of the billions of life climbings into the structure of the hummingbird with its dual interaction with the recipient of its beak's attack seen as evidence of some principle of love. Reality loves the humming creature, and it loves the flower. It also loves a king that oppresses his people, especially if my own emotions are irrelevant to the metaphysical love. Queens that oppress, on the other hand, show a great side of duality or of some social change . . . Change might be a flower going through its seasons like a snowy and beautifully cruel winter with cold that kills the flower's act of blooming and scares the hummingbirds down to the southern regions. However, there are also springs and summers. Other black-and-white-negating gray zones like autumn that show duality is not sufficient as an explanation but only multiplicity, arising from infinity. In our realm, this usually involves motion . . . Motion = time, or rather, all time is derivable from motion. We might be pedantic and say time is a human model based on motion, but we will not. We might be confused and think that the past and future are reducible to the present moment and are mere illusions or ignore the problem altogether by stating how their differences collapse under the hypercosmic unity of Nothingness, but we will not. In reality, the present moment is what must disintegrate into past and future! For example, when somebody says their current conscious phenomenon is comprised of visual objects they are entranced with, in the world we live in, that refers to objects of space moving through time. Motion. An apple requires motion to exist. It needs at least some existence across motion. What is an apple that has no time other than just Nothingness? If somebody bites an apple, that is movement. Nietzsche's ink-daubed quill hitting a parchment as he writes his works is movement. The sun and the moon and stars are movement. All this that is in the cosmos is motion wherein there is a relativity between different parts of time: Nietzsche's quill raised above the paper versus the moment when the black ink is seeping into the fibers of the paper is not in the present moment; they are in past moments and future moments relative to some arbitrary reference perspective which might be more vivid as imagined. A dog chasing a cat and then the cat scratching the dog does not happen in the present moment; it happens in motion. Motion can never have a single frame isolated from the passage of time because that is nonsense. A process happening only in the present moment is nonsense. A star committing supernova in a single infinitely small sliver of motion where there are no different, separate sub-events like the light flashing at differing angles is incoherent. So, this proves the existence of multiple sets of phenomena within consciousness. By this same principle, other minds can exist. Other minds are not other realities but only other thoughts, emotions, and phenomenon-based stories, of life. Animation of the universe. Surely, if reality allows motions where separate acts exist in a same overarching act, like two halves of a dance constructing a whole imagined dance, minds can have the same. If reality can create smell, sight, demons, lemurs, dirt, heavenly bliss, etc., surely it produce through special creation other things. One might say, "Yes, but it is not happening right now." But how would you know if you were only a part of "right now" which happens to be motion. All things are the same Nothingness. So two minds of the same Nothingness are not ontologically incoherent. You can imagine multiple entities every time you simulate somebody else in your head . . . Dream people and real people are imagined as different. Obviously, laws of physics are imagined to exist. Objects have properties. If all conceivable properties exist, then other people exist which correlate with the property of objects acting by the physical laws which are correlatives with how the image of my brain and the total holonic system of my phenomenal consciousness are interlinked, woven.

I’m not talking about nothing, nothingness, void, or anything of the sort. I’m talking about nonexistence. I’m talking about the lack of consciousness, the lack of experience, the lack of anything whatsoever. It is completely the opposite of anything experiential. Nonexistence is impossible to be experienced, and if you view experience to be all there can be, then nonexistence is certainly impossible in that framework. I hardly ever talk about nothing, nothingness, void, etc, so if you interpret me as saying something about any of those things, it’s likely that there’s a misinterpretation/miscommunication or difference in definitions.

From Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha written by Daniel Ingram: ”Fruition (phala in Pali) is the fruit of all the meditator’s hard work, the first attainment of ultimate reality, emptiness, nirvana, nibbana, ultimate potential, or whatever extrapolative and relatively inaccurate name you wish to call something utterly non-sensate. In this non-state, there is absolutely no time, no space, no reference point, no experience, no mind, no consciousness, no awareness, no background, no foreground, no nothingness, no somethingness, no body, no this, no that, no unity, no duality, and no anything else. “Reality” stops cold and then reappears.” This is the closest thing to nonexistence you’ll ever be able to reach. The problem is, that not existing takes absolutely no time and happens in no place and there is no experience of such a thing, so there’s nothing to stop existence from being experienced again. Experience and existence are not things that stop existing. They are a self-containing whole with no opposite. What you have to realize is that nonexistence doesn’t exist by its own definition. For it to exist or in any way mingle with existence, it would be just another form of existence. If you wish to reach cessation/fruition, MCTB is probably one of the most useful guides to get you there outside of contact with a teacher who has reached it and helped others to also reach it. You can read MCTB for free here: https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/foreword-and-warning/

God, in the monotheistic sense, is an unknown/mysterious single being outside our reality who's responsible for its creation. God's origin is never discussed or even speculated on in such religions, God just is and this is simply accepted. Any polytheistic idea of multiple Gods is dismissed as nonsense as there can only be one God (from a Christian's/Muslim's view). Perhaps their reasoning is that there cannot be multiple sources of creation, which is true. However, while there is indeed only one source of creation, infinity, I don't think this is what monotheists worship. What they worship is the specific idea of "the one God" described in their holy book. They personify the concept of God as that's the only way they can understand "him"; and attach various ideas to "him". This God they worship is not infinity/consciousness/nothingness like I once assumed. It is, in fact, a God like any other from any of the polytheistic religions. As such, the validity of any of the random Gods in Hinduism (or even any made up religions) is equal to that of the one Christian/Muslim God. The only difference is the power the followers of each religion give to the thought-form that is their God. A God can be literally anything that's immortal. A personality can be a God. An aesthetic can be a God. Money can be a God. Sex can be a God. Etc. The God that religious people follow is no different. The Christian/Muslim God is just a "General Purpose God" which the people have fooled themselves into believing is the one and only God (..I know, I know ..blasphemy, but this is the hard truth the Blues will have to swallow sooner or later) I used to give religious people the benefit of the doubt that, when speaking of God, they're really referring to "source", the real "God", but that's just not the case. Their God isn't God but, rather, a tool for empowering and unifying their intent. For those who know no better, this is good and should maybe even be encouraged in some cases, but it's still a lie. No mentally sound adult should be gullible enough to fall for this, but it happens. Perhaps this is the main difference between Blue and Green. Perhaps the difference is that Greens worship the real God, and not just an idea of a God. Just a thought.

@Dulinho CONTENT WARNING! If you are not stable person don't read what I replied, because it may cause existential crisis. I will try to guide you to the answer. First become conscious of this moment right NOW. Understand that this is what we call present moment, infinity, god, nothingness, everything, etc. Where this exact moment came? Any logical answer that you get is not right, because anything you can imagine can't be the source for this moment, because this moment is prior to even have these "answers". For example this moment needs to exist in order you to think about yesterday, so that proves that this moment happened before yesterday. This moment can exist without thought of yesterday, but the thought of yesterday can't exist without this moment. If you say that infinity came first - which basically means that it has existed forever and it was unborn/uncreated - then you accept that it is possible to something exist without beginning or end. If that is possible thought for you then I ask - why couldn't this exact moment right NOW be that thing which was not created and will never end. Content of this moment can vary, but it stays as present moment always and has been present moment forever. Understanding everything till this point answers for you first 2 questions. Answer for the last question is, because this moment right NOW is everything that is happening right NOW and there is nothing outside of this moment and any thought you have about outside of this moment happens within this moment, then that answers why "you" are not drop in the ocean, but the whole ocean. If someone else, but Dulinho reads that last paragraph then replace Dulinho with your own name. Basically that also points out that you are all alone and no one, but "you" exists. NOW you may ask in your mind that okay, but don't you Kksd74628 have your own experience and the answer for this is yes, but there is one trick. I am you and you are me and that means that when you physically die then you will have new experience - because no experience is not possible, because it would need to be experienced and that makes it experience - and in that new experience you will live a life as lisa and at this point Dulinho is long time dead. Who said that you couldn't have new life at the same "time" that your previous life happened? After your death you may exist as Kksd74628 and at that point no one is "perceiving" from Dulinho's "pov". So it seems that many lifes are happening simultaneously, but they happen in a row and there is only one person who is having these infinity lifes and it is "you". Understanding what I just said will answer why "you" are the whole ocean.

It's a dream machine . This dream machine can dream up whatever it wants .literally anything. Everything is possible. It's a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream to infinity. within nothingness. And you are the only conscious thing In existence. You are the dreamer. and there is nothing else but you and your endless dreams. God, or you, sleeps, and the activity of his mind stuff creates dreams, and we are all his dream: the world is gods dream. And just as, in your dreams, all the images that you behold and all the people who appear are really manifestations of your own dreaming power, so are we all manifestations of god's dreaming power. We are no more independent entities than the dream figures in our own dreams . There are other facets to god like infinite love and infinite goodness and infinite intelligence and immortality but I left them out in this discussion to focus on the mechanism of all of manifested creation.

I said nothing about nothingness. I don’t think you are getting what I mean. Consciousness is all there is right here, right now. There is no more or less than what you experience. Infinity is identical to what you experience. “Highly conscious” states seem to trick people into thinking there is infinity accessed in one moment but not in a different configuration of appearances. This is a common misunderstanding. An illusion that convinces someone of a particular experience being infinite is only tricking one into realizing what is already the case and will always be the case regardless of how experience is configured and what appearances are present.

Well yeah, consciousness is nothingness, the only thing with infinite potential. But that's unrelated.

Your imagening them as not the true them because you wear an mental image on them which is approximation and never them, because they are like nothingness in the way that an ever changing form is. But i dont agree they dont feel sensations too.

So am I imagining you imagining me imagining you on this forum as someone that has complete understanding of solipsism as a way for me to understand what solipsism is? If you have a true complete understanding, how do you know that solipsism is actually true? How do you know that the opposite of solipsism isn't true? If "you" had this complete awakening, what do that mean for "me"? What came first, the chicken or the egg? Are "you" just a brain in a vacuum? Or are "you" god consciousness? Are there different levels of solipsism like my previous question assumes? What is a distinction? What is relativity? Why does consciousness choose to imagine everything instead of actually "creating" "real" infinite "things"? So is it really I and I? Or is it me and you? Why did "I" imagine language limitations as such that "I" cannot be told, only realised? Why couldn't infinite nothingness be made to be fun? What's the need for illusory separation? What don't "I" - you,have all the answers? What is the point of solipsism? Do "you" personally feel happier/sadder now? Why cant "I" just do the things Leo was worried about and justify any action because "I" am the only thing in existence? Why am "I" giving "you" these questions when "I" create this forum? - why does God consciousness need something to do? Can't "I" just be satisfied as infinite consciousness doing nothing for infinite/no time? Do "I" exist?

Because I've died .that's what it means to awaken .I'm no longer the same me .I'm completely different person after awakening .and what I'm telling you is there is nothing to fear about death . Sure, we can discuss it. Could be heavy stuff sometimes ? The wisdom, I think, in contemplating death is that it brings you closer to understanding life. Look, dude. From the perspective of 'you as a person/human being', then yes, fucking yes, obviously, death is INDEED like an eternal sleep. But from the perspective of THE REAL YOU --- the innermost essential Consciousness that you are (God, Love, Nothingness, Oneness), what is the most familar experience of 'existing as *I*', before beliefs, conditioning, survival-programming, body, physicality, time, imagination, history, stats --- You are already death and alive simultaneously. You were never born, can never die. You are nothing & everything, *simultaneously*..., only you can - per definition - only experience one perspective at a time! Right now you're experiencing this particular perspective from this particular imaginary human body and mind. From this perspective, from the perspective of YOU as The Dao that can't be spoken, God, Absolute Eternal Infinite Consciousness, Norhingness... from that perspective, 'insert your birth-given name' is just like a wave (imaginary you) in an eternal, infinite, dimensionsless ocean (real You, The Self-Less Self, Awareness Itself). What happens in a normal ocean when a wave finally splashes to the ground? ? A new wave starts to emerge, right. ? You are, in truth, the fabric and structure of existence itself. You are the whole ocean hallucinating it's only a wave. You see how it's all just a dream? Infinite imagination. You are all simultaneously: - the finite dream-character ('poor little me') (a dreamed up thing) - the physical world (a dreamed up thing) - the dreamer (God) (the undefinable source of it all) - the dream itself (Consciousness) (the structure, fabric and context of the dream) - 'the dreamed up things' (Love) (the contents of the dream) There is nothing outside this. This is it. It's infinite & for eternity. You will never actually die .you are God. Period .

It is absolute nonexistence, it is absolute nothingness.

Existence is Absolute. It cannot ever be finished. Yes, the end of you as a finite, distinct thing. But you will exist as pure Infinity forever. If you got a glimpse of pure Infinity, you would be so horrified you'd call it death. It's a lot like death, except you are conscious forever of endless nothingness. I've seen it. It's the most terrifying thing you could imagine. But also, it's LOVE. It's the last thing you could possibly want.

Better term is unmanifest reality, inert reality, undistinguished reality, pure potential. When expressed you get manifest reality, dynamic reality, distinguished reality, the loss of potential. When people say they experienced nothingness it wasn't nothing cuz they were there to experience it. Nothingness and emptiness are just concepts for convenience, so you can just say "theres nothing in this cup" instead of saying this cup lacks everything you can list than can fit in the cup. "This room is empty" instead of saying this room is missing a cat, a dog, a horse, a girl, a rat, a bat, a hat, a fat babe, an alien, a cup of water, on and on.

I was listening to Sadhguru and he said nothingness or nonexistence is the basis of existence. He calls this Shiva or "that which is not". I don't understand how this could be possible. It seems to be the basis/source of creation must exist otherwise there would be no creation. If nonexistence is the basis of creation then that is essentially like saying there is no source of creation. But then how could there be creation (such as this post) without a creator?

@Leo Gura I said it also in past, but when the movie which is everything which is "perceived" is 100 % what is there then there is no room for I. If you call that 100% thing right NOW as I then yeah I is everything, but I don't understand why would you call that I and calling it I or unicorn are both equally as stupid, because the thing you try to point out as I or unicorn doesn't exist to begin with. I am not trying to arque, but I honestly would like you to watch one more time towards that "I" and understand that whatever is "perceived" is not the thing "perceiving", because the movie is just only thing which exists as GOD, EVERYTHING and NOTHINGNESS. I guess it is only word play, because we agree that everything that exist is one thing and we can call that as any word we like, but for me it is hard to call it as I, because that word does not mean anything, because NOW it feels like I am dead in sense, because I am not lying right NOW, but I don't identify as I anymore and also there is nothing which is identifying as anything anymore. I is NOW deleted from the movie and the movie no longer presents it and the movie is only thing which remains. @Cooper There is no duality if the only thing which exists is the movie and there is nothing else

Yes it could .you could exist as formlessness or as form. You can erase all forms from existence and you will be left with pure nothingness. You are that nothingness. Then again the nothingness is identical to the world of form . Form is empty .emptiness is form .

@Ananta Solipsism is the idea that 'my own experience is all I can know to be true'.. or something like that. There is no 'my experience'. There is only Infinite Everythingness/Nothingness appearing as Finite Somethingness. As long as it 'seems like Something is happening rather than Nothing/Everything' then this is the case.

Hello everyone, <3 I’m writing this post because for the last month, I have been slipping in and out of full-on panic and crisis mode. This is the most challenging and disorienting time of my entire life. And I have come closer to wanting to just end all my suffering at once than I ever thought would be possible. My hopes are that some of you might give me some pointers, some understanding, some advice, some help, that might help me with a gentle transition out of this phase, into the light again. Because I’m trying my best to choose faith, and to see all of this as a birthing process, rather than the path’s dire end. Even though it feels like that most of the time. There is a bushfire raging in my psyche and burning down my sense of reality and identity, and my guess is that this has been sparked by a very disturbing LSD-Trip three months ago. There, I literally felt that I had to die, that I had to go, that there was no other way, for hours and hours, even long after I should have been sobered again. The symptoms that I’m now experiencing didn’t start right after that trip, because in the two months after it life (and reality) resumed more or less as always. However, I think that it must have something to do with that, but more details on this trip later. I’ll jump right in with describing what I’ve been experiencing over the last month, with the attempt to give you a raw description, without already putting any labels or interpretations on it. I'm not exactly very steeped in the whole non-duality thing, just watched a few videos here and there, and I don't want to throw around with any dangerous half-knowledge Here are some situations that I’ve experienced, clustered into, well, ahem, “problems”: I don’t exist - I’m randomly looking at a photo of mine. I think: “Hmm, so that’s me.” --> “Aaah no, that’s not me, that’s just the surface of my body! But then nobody can actually see ME! Noone can ever really make contact with me! I am forever completely alone!” --> panic - I’m feeling anxious and I’m trying to make contact with my inner child to calm it down, something that I’ve worked with for a few years. In my imagination, I as my adult self say: “I’m there. I’m there. And I won’t go away.”, and try to take it into my arms. à My Inner child screams angrily: “But you don’t exist!! You don’t exist!!” --> I don’t know what to answer to that, because I’ve realized that the image of my adult self is actually just a thought --> panic - I’m playing the guitar, and I enter into a flow state. At some point I realize with happiness: “Wow, everything’s flowing and moving on its own!” --> “Aaaargh, everything is happening on it’s own! I’m not there! I don’t exist! I can’t do anything!” --> panic - I realize that all my thoughts, all the images, everything in my mind is just arising on its own, and that I actually have NO influence whatsoever over it --> “But then I myself cannot speak! I am mute! I can’t do anything!! I’m not there!” --> panic Everything is an Illusion - I’m sitting at the kitchen table, head in my hands. A friend of mine gently rests his arm on my shoulder to console me. --> I realize the image in my mind of him sitting there, my internal representation of him, as being just a thought, and not reality. I realize that the sensation of his arm on my shoulders is just sensory data that is arising in consciousness. I realize that the feeling of comfort and connection that I feel is just fabricated out of these inputs. --> I am getting the feeling of being absolutely, terribly alone, that my friend isn’t actually there, that he exists only in my mind --> panic. - Even when I turn around to look at him, I start to question whether he’s really THERE, or whether I’m just receiving an image, sitting behind a screen, where I’m actually terribly alone. - I sometimes feel like I’m not INSIDE reality, or in contact with it, but that I’m looking out from a place behind the screen of my eyes, like I’m not in real contact with anything that’s happening, that nothing can really reach ME, that I’m trapped in a dark and utterly lonely place forever, looking out at a screen. - I sometimes question whether anything / anyone besides the things I’m directly experiencing right now actually exist. If I remind myself of my friends, if I remind myself of my flat mate being in the room next to me, then those are just thoughts, and images, and the feelings of safety and connection that arise are also just fabrications of my mind that follows the images. --> I feel like no one but me exists, I’m terribly alone Noone can truly love ME - Someone says to me lovingly something like: “Oh Jonas, I love you, man! It’s so nice to spend time with you, you’re so (…)” --> I remember that I haven’t done anything for my good qualities, my humor, my intelligence, my looks, my way of being, that I don’t have free will, that I didn’t contribute anything to that. That nothing of the things that people love me for is really ME. Neither my body, nor my thoughts, nor my actions --> “Aah, but then no one really, truly loves ME, everyone is just loving these surface traits that are not really me, Noone can really see ME, no one can really love ME!” --> “I can never be truly seen, I can never be truly loved”--> Panic Nothing has any meaning - I try to console myself in all my panic and pain, by reminding myself: “Everything here is nothing but thoughts and feelings that are arising, that’s all. I can just watch all of that.” --> a moment of relief --> “Aaah, but if everything is nothing but thoughts and feelings, then where is the problem with people suffering? Then it doesn’t really matter if I help people or not! Then it doesn’t matter to try and increase the good in the world! --> Then nothing matters!! I have to go, I have to die - I spend time talking to a friend, I don’t really feel seen, I don’t really feel connected with him, I feel like I’m constantly projecting an inauthentic persona, I don’t really feel “here” --> a feeling of inescapable doom, of resignation, of hopelessness fills my body, It feels like “It is of no use. There is no other way. I have to go. I have to say goodbye. I have to die.” --> (this is the same feeling that I had at the end of my LSD-Trip) As mentioned above, one important event that might have contributed to this situation was a solo trip on 100mg LSD that I had three months ago. To make a long story rather short: At some point, a few hours into the trip (which started off with me accidentally falling asleep on my couch and being really disoriented and disturbed when waking up), I experienced the voice in my head, or “myself”, as being trapped telling a story to the outside world. When I walked around my room, feeling panic rising in my body, my inner voice would say: “And I was walking around my room, trying not to panic, and I didn’t know what to do.” Once I then noticed that the voice in my head was acting like a podcast guest, it went: “And somehow, all I could do was to act like someone telling a story on a podcast”. When I then noticed that, and was pretty confused, it went: “And it was really confusing, because it just didn’t stop! That voice kept going on and on.” Et cetera et cetera. This went on for hours and hours, during which I desperately tried to “find myself”, to “turn around”, to “make contact with myself” again, but it all was of no use, like a hand trying to grasp itself. Eventually, I ended up in a state of deep resignation. I sat down with my head in my hands, feeling like I was completely utterly alone, like there was nothing I could do. (And all the while my narrator goes: “And I was sitting there, head in my hands, and I really didn’t know what to do.” Aaaahhhh!!). I sunk deeper and deeper into this feeling of hopelessness, of absolute futility, and it felt like there was a part in me that was really upset, saying things like: “Well I’m sorry Jonas, but I really have to say goodbye.” “Something HAS to change.” “This CAN NOT go on like this!” “I have to go!”. When, 8 hours after ingestion, I felt like I was finally coming down a little, I tried to just “walk it out”, I walked up and down my room, counting my breaths, trying to stay afloat. There was no strength left in me to surrender to anything anymore. Eventually, 10 hours after ingestion, I called a friend to just let him keep talking to me, and I felt a little more relaxed. We talked for three hours, but, dear god, this visceral feeling of “I have to go”, “I have to say goodbye”, “there is no other way”, kept coming back up, and was even getting stronger and stronger. It felt like there was a wise, loving, smiling, higher part of me that was gently taking my hand, wanting to lead me away into nowhere, into nothingness, saying “It is time. Come, my dear. We have to go.” My entire body was filled with the feeling that I, or that something in me, HAD to die, HAD to go, and that there was absolutely way around it. It felt like nothing could possibly keep me here in this reality, not even my friend on the phone. Eventually, I hung up with the words “Thank you, but the rest I will have to do alone”. When an hour later, 4 hours after I should have been sobered again, this feeling still persisted, I texted “I love you” to my mother, father, and sister. I wrote a goodbye letter. I looked at my own picture and said goodbye. I was so tired, but I didn’t want to go to bed and fall asleep, because It felt like I would be carried away by the strong, deep, dark current of a river, like I would either wake up the next day permanently crazy, or not wake up at all. Eventually, about 6 hours after I should have been sobered, the feeling subsided a little. I realized “Okay. I think I do not have to die. Let’s just go to bed, and hope that it will all be over tomorrow.” Well then, surprise, and praise the Lord, I did wake up the next morning, and I was not permanently crazy. (At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself). There were still remains of the “I have to go”-feeling, and of panic inside my body, but over the course of the next two days it slowly went away. Now. uring the last two weeks, on two evenings, that feeling returned. I experienced a very similar feeling of inescapable hopelessness, of having to say goodbye to the world, of there being no other possible way than me dying. My body is filled with the feeling of an approaching end, everything feels like “there’s no escape, I have to go, it is of no use”. I have been able to distance myself a little more from the part of me that feels like that, so last time it happened I could kind of just watch it, let it be there, and then just get up and make myself pasta anyway. But still, every moment now is filled with a subtle feeling of despair, and meaninglessness, something like: “I’m drifting away, I’m lost in a bad dream and I can’t wake up, I don’t understand anything, there is nothing to cling to, everything has always been just a bad joke.” Perhaps someone of you can give me a few helpful comments on what I’m experiencing. Maybe a few pointers in the right direction, what I could do, or not do, in order to go through this as peacefully and gently as possible, and avoid any further major breakdowns. (I’ve really had enough of these, thank you Mr. Universe, I’m full!) Like, should I just wait and try to resume with life “as usual? Should I retreat into a mountain cave and meditate? Should I try to "allow" that part of me to die when the feeling comes back again? Is there something else that can help me? I love you, even though I’m not quite sure anymore what that means, Jonas (whoever that is)

I think while turquoise understands concepts like oneness and nothingness, they basically still function as individual humans on earth experiencing what earth is all about. I could see a coral interact with higher dimensions, entities, possibly aliens and consciously set events into motion based on what the universe/souls/God want to get out of physical existence. So kind of like an agent or a moderator. Likely have also developed siddhis. Quite badass in my opinion. In either case, they'd probably masquerade as an orange or green not to arouse too much suspicion. Probably unless you're high turquoise you wouldn't detect them.