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You're actually correct. Not long ago I became aware that I have been holding back a lot of emotions, and it manifested itself as a tension in the gut area. I started to try to provoke emotional releases during my meditations, and after maybe only 2 months of doing that, I noticed the tension subsiding and I was becomming more "embodied" rather than numbed out. Sometimes meditation can make you totally disregard your emotions, and it's not healthy. Anyways, I was doing well, and then spring came and my energy levels naturally started to increase, and I was catapulted into non-dual states of awareness out of nowhere, and I responded in fear, because it feels like death, and I'm not ready for it. I believe the main tension that I was unconsciously holding onto all those years was the fear of death, and when I trained myself to become conscious of this tension, I reached a point where I can drop the tension at will, but then I would go into a process of dying. So basically, like I've explained in a topic I made 2 weeks ago, I've spent the last few weeks trying to consiously recreate some form of emotional tension in order to ground myself, because I don't want to let go into nonduality. It scares me, I feel like I'm not ready, that I have to grow as a person. These 3-4 years of daily meditation has totally shifted how I experience reality, and there is really no turning back, even though I'm trying my best. It's really idiotic if you ask me haha

@Prevailer I like what you said about the gap between thoughts. But I don't get why people in nonduality say that you are not your thoughts... I get it as a perspective to distance onself from self criticism and see the consistency of self-acceptance. But your thoughts are as you as your body and your car and possessions are... perhaps they are an expression and in that sense "not you" but nonetheless you are your thoughts and your feelings. Everything about you composes who you are. . . But I seem to have different perspective on metaphysics than most people here it's interesting!

Hi everyone Thought it would be a great idea to start a thread where people can genuinely help one another with this spiritual journey that we have all embarked on. The idea behind this thread is that people would share their insights and realisations with the aim of pointing out to those who have not yet had that awakening in the right direction. So we would sort of just be holding hands here and pulling one another in the path so that no ends up getting lost so to speak. For example, if you've had an awakening and you're directly aware of some truth which is overlooked by many then if you could.. you would post whatever ever that insight helped you realize as to shed some light on common misconceptions regarding reality. These pointers would then be sort of shifting perspectives in a way that if a person is holding a belief or some idea about reality which is preventing him/her from directly accessing it then this will help make that clear and help focus on what is actually going on, what is actually there. So if you, let's say, had an awakening to what love is and you're directly aware of what it is then your job would be to shed light on common ideas regarding love like how it's an emotion.. you would have to say why that isn't the case. But not just say so, actually help us notice why it isn't the case, point out the idea, expose the egotistic belief and what we're imagining, kinda like the way Leo does in his videos. I've titled this thread "Actually" because we would only be pointing out what is actually happening, things we've taken for granted. Like: "Hey, you know that thing we call an emotion that is triggered by electromagnetic chemicals? Well, actually it's not that at all because if you notice x y and z you'll understand that emotions are just imagination." So, this is not about getting other people to awaken to the thing that you've awakened to. That won't happen. That person would also have to put in some of the work you've put in in order to really get that awakening. Same way watching Leo's videos won't suddenly make you awake to whatever insight is being shared in the video. Here we're basically just all traveling while holding hands so that everyone has better chances of coming out into the light. I just figured that hey.. since we're all on the same path why don't we just hold hands and guide each other to the same destination. Rules: 1. Don't talk about it if you're not directly aware of it! I'm trying to prevent debates from happening. This is not 'the battle of the insights' thread. If you're directly aware of it then there would be no point in arguing because we all see that the grass is green. And if a person is not getting whatever that you're trying to point to and is just opposing in every direction then drop it. Clearly that person is not ready for that insight. 2. No dropping nondual A-bombs! Guys, we are trying to share radical insights from personal awakenings and we are trying to radically shift perspectives for the good of the path. But don't just show up heavy handed with it saying things like "Nothing exists". I mean come on! You're missing the point of this thread then. I mean if you're directly aware of nonduality then great for you, but show consideration for the guy who just started with this work. Me, I'm the guy who just started with this path and for me it sure as hell, clearly, seems like a lot of things exist. Alright, and those are the rules. Please, don't be stressful be helpful. If you get the impression that the other person is not feeling helped then immediately let it go. It's okay Okay then, I hope I've made things clear and that my post isn't that long. But most importantly I hope most you folks would be willing to help and share some insights with care and love. I'll start just so that everyone knows how I mean this. ?

Christianity is in itself a path to enlightenment, it's not necessarily a problem or a handicap although it might seem to be for most, it has nothing to do with the religion itself. Most relationships don't match up in the level of spiritual development, but since spiritual development is all a facade anyway, it doesn't matter. The beliefs we have about other people are what keep us from our own development. There is love and connection within us always, we don't need prerequisites for it. I was raised Christian and I remember a lot of discussions about whether you should date someone who is unsaved. Saying that you shouldn't felt wrong. Thinking MAYBE you can save (change) them by dating them felt a little better but also wrong. It strikes me as funny that this same exact question at its root is asked just as often by those seeking enlightenment. In the area of who we should date and marry, we want pure unconditional love and yet we allow ourselves to make our most harshest judgements in this area, and that's what makes romantic love so damn challenging. We often hold from ourselves what we want most in this area. But because we blame the other person, we don't see that we do this only to ourselves. I'd try to show her how Christianity is pointing to nonduality, ask if she really understands the meanings of the parables of Jesus. Read the gospel of Thomas, read what Eckhart Tolle has written about Christianity, study Gnostic Christianity and you'll be able to speak to her with her language she was raised with and you'll not come away unchanged yourself. I'd do this only if it seems fun, and not if it feels like you're doing it just for an end goal and have an agenda. The best relationships are curious and seek to learn, understand and fully experience one another, they are open and loving. Open-mindedness is curiosity and love itself, but... you're the only one who can experience having an open mind. When it is imposed as an ideal on another it immediately becomes closed mindedness.

As weird as it sounds I've come across descriptions of the same kind of thing. Basically even spiritual energies are regarded/recognized/worshiped as dualities... because people and the mind create dualities, that's just what we do. It's easiest to think of it in this example, the Christian church recognizes one, wicca and witchcraft recognizes another. They even imply gender, the Heavenly Father and the Goddess. Each deny the Oneness or divinity of the other. Because of the imbalance, severe imbalance can manifest as intense charisma, such as in the case of Hitler with severe consequences. And having grown up in Christianity, I've seen the same smaller scale effect in many pastors and leaders. Outside of religion, with people who recognize oneness and nonduality, the same imbalances can manifest.

Like I'm watching Leo's video on perception and it's not making sense. If there is no internal world, it is all external, and there is no bubble, it is all one big sponge, I am all of everything..... what do I do with this me stuff that remains? This body and these thoughts and this concious experience.... it doesn't go away just because I cease to believe in it. When ego dies there still remains an individual living a life with certain consious expereinces and not all of everything. I cannot suddenly become all of everything and leave this "body mind" thing. I'm limited and that won't go away until I literally die, and who knows what happens to that "soul" so if I'm nonduality itself, what happens to this me-ness? What am I supposed to do with it? It needs to eat and sleep and exercise and etc. I can't just stop being that - it hast to keep going - if it is an illusion what of it?

@Bluff You seem to have theoretical understanding of nonduality and are immersed in theoretical ruminations. There is nothing wrong with that and it can have practical value. Yet the theoretical ruminations can lead to contractions within, and attachment to, those theoretical constructs. You’ve got the theory of nonduality down pat. You understand in nondual theory how there is no degrees or stages of awareness. You seem fluent in this and you don’t need anymore work to realize there are no degrees or stages of awareness. This has truth, yet attachment to this truth is a limitation. If I say “I have already arrived”, that has truth from one perspective. Yet if I become attached to that belief and extrapolate it, it will block me from realizing that I also haven’t arrived. This is the dilemma of theoretical constructs, they have inherently contradictions. If I think “I have arrived” and I don’t take a step to a destination, I will fail because I will not move toward the destination. Yet if I think “I have not arrived” and I take steps toward the destination, I will fail because there is no destination separate from where I am here and now. To me, it looks like you have the nondual “arrival” theory down, which is a profound understanding of truth. Yet attachment to this aspect of truth will hinder realization and understanding of other truths you have not yet arrived to. What you are writing is not completely wrong. It is partial and incomplete.

99% of nonduality students and Buddhists and so forth. They don't understand DMT worlds.

As unbelievable as this sounds, I have reached levels of Awakening which clearly show me that no nonduality teacher is fully awake. But I don't expect you guys to believe me. Okay, so you've given them some degree of awakeness. But it's gonna be a very mild degree. I'm not saying you shouldn't do that. It could be very helpful. I'm just saying there are higher levels.

I agree that self-emptying is the path. However, there is always a blind spot. This can make us very passive in life for example. But incorporating this Divine pointlesness into everyday actions is what its about. Thats when you'll view this world as your playground and honour your vulnerability as a person in duality. This is the blind spot people. Why practice gratitude as everything is perfect in nonduality? Because of the impermanence is exactly why its perfect. We have no control on the circumstances in "duality". But the free will in duality gives us our eyes to birth creations through perception. So why the hell not?

@charles1 phenomenology is knocking on the door of nonduality but isn't quite the same thing (still too much categorization and fantasy). Idealism is way way way off. Idealism does not understand the difference between actuality and concept. When Leo uses the word "imagination," he means something totally different from your average ideas and thoughts. Idealism, not so much. They still have some sense that "reality" can be grasped through human mind-activity (ideas and thoughts). There is still hidden subconscious duality that is taken for granted, such as "there is an intelligence within me (separate from the rest of the perceived world) that is doing activity." Even the idealist believes that, even if they deny physicality and matter. There is no single process. Maybe you are describing your own process, but that is by no means universal

I’ve been listening to Em since I was 5 years old, I can guarantee you he has no idea what Enlightenment is, none of his lyrics even remotely touch on the subject. Eyedea on the other hand (r.i.p) was knee deep in NonDuality stuff.

@Leo Gura I acheived this enlightenment and greater from cannabis and tobbaco combined. The combination is perfect. Jump up and down notice form going up as you go down and as you go down form goes up. We are not bodies we are invisibility and nothingness pretending to be a me and a you. There is no man and no woman. Remember NONDUALITY.

I discovered something almost funny, maybe I have already mentioned something similar. Is the map the territory? From a nondual perspective the answer is yes! Is the menu the dinner? The answer to that too is yes. Haha. Seemingly crazy. The trick here is that nonduality means one single wholeness. Yes, there are dualities within the wholeness but dualities are actually also joined into a wholeness. So everything is the same "stuff" from a nondual perspective. The same with concepts. Is the word "tree" the same as an actual living tree? Yes, they are nondually (if that's a word) the same. And the past is the same as the future. Cause is the same as effect. Up and down are one. And so on. This kind of logic is of course not the classical logic used in philosophy and science. It's more like the kind of logic Shunyamurti mentioned in a video. I didn't find that Leo has a video particurlarly about logic, but this video about rationality may have some of that:

I'm 22, and I haven't had what I would characterize as a kundalini awakening, but I've had many "awakenings" where I again felt like I was dying, losing control, merging with God etc., and I do feel like I have what you can call energetic stuff happening throughout the day. The main thing is a subtle form of stiffness accompanied by small crackling noises every 5-ish seconds in the upper part of my spine, and if I sit in a comfortable upright position for prolonged periods of time, I interpret the crackling noises to be a type of unwinding of tension that goes on in my entire body. After a while, my body becomes very still, and the tension is concentrated in my forehead. The tension will keep building untill it sort of dissolves, and by then my mind is very quiet, and I'm heading straight down the path of feeling like I'm gonna die. I normally used to love when this kind of stuff would happen, but now it's happening on a totally different level than before, and it's scary. I know all that nonduality stuff: that fear is an illusion created by the ego, I'm the one creating the fear etc., but I just can't for the hell of me let go

I just rolled over Leo's blog to find some hidden old gems that can be quite refreshing to read and watch while he's away. And don't forget to take action! Some of his views may have changed on some of the older ones, but they're still very valid. Text Posts: https://actualized.org/insights/a-description-of-enlightenment https://actualized.org/insights/the-best-mix-for-enlightenment https://actualized.org/insights/educate-yourself-about-enlightenment https://actualized.org/insights/whats-the-best-time-to-meditate https://actualized.org/insights/yoga-ftw https://actualized.org/insights/nothing-i-say-can-be-trusted Video Posts: 2017: https://actualized.org/insights/understanding-better-than-academics https://actualized.org/insights/changing-perspectives-destroys-reality 2018: https://actualized.org/insights/metaphysics-vs-epistemology https://actualized.org/insights/all-understanding-is-metaphoric https://actualized.org/insights/all-understanding-is-metaphoric-part-2 https://actualized.org/insights/skepticism-and-nonduality https://actualized.org/insights/dont-half-ass-yoga https://actualized.org/insights/sitting-posture-for-yoga-meditation https://actualized.org/insights/may-2018-solo-retreat-part-1 https://actualized.org/insights/may-2018-solo-retreat-part-2 https://actualized.org/insights/may-2018-solo-retreat-part-3 https://actualized.org/insights/hawaii-april-2018-late-night-insights https://actualized.org/insights/mindfucked-in-hawaii 2019: https://www.actualized.org/insights/miracle-awakening https://www.actualized.org/insights/ego-collapse-awakening https://actualized.org/insights/total-omniscience-awakening https://actualized.org/insights/dpt-the-other-god-molecule https://actualized.org/insights/sense-organs-are-imaginary https://actualized.org/insights/do-i-doubt-myself https://actualized.org/insights/infinite-love-awakening https://actualized.org/insights/how-to-test-for-self-bias https://actualized.org/insights/rethinking-human-history https://actualized.org/insights/tapping-into-collective-consciousness

Sounds like you're proposing an ethical "bait-and-switch" of some sort! Many times I wonder if that might be my calling as well. Nonduality can be seen as a rather different "subject matter" from what most would consider "normal" - science, mathematics, history, english, etc. All of these more "conventional" subjects arise from the thinking mind using symbols. Nonduality is the opposite of that, you might say. "Nonduality" is not even a "subject matter" - it's not even a thing! So how the hell do you share that with someone wedged in a web of symbolic beliefs? I mean I mostly hide my "spiritual" side in public, I know I will sound dysfunctional and crazy if I start talking about this. It really does come down to individual bodhisattvas "watering things down" doesn't it? I don't see any other way of facilitating a massive cultural shift. Someone has to sort of "take the blow" - and sacrifice going all the way (not only in their personal growth - but also in their teachings) - for the sake of empathy by delivering a "kiddie version" of nonduality as though it were low-hanging fruit. Even if they had reserved "higher teachings" for committed students, their split focus would be a hindrance. And this archetype is nothing new, it's been around for millennia. But I feel that it might be more applicable to our current generation than ever before, given the sheer amount of comfort and distraction our society offers. Alan Watts is a good example of someone like this. Amazing introduction to this stuff, but his speeches get repetitive and stop helping you once you outgrow them and commit to a personal journey. And it's not uncommon knowledge that he was never truly "enlightened" himself - he was just more or less aware of his True nature, but apparently settled for a glimpse and had more of a focus on social impact. Even Alan freakin' Watts doesn't seem to be enough these days though, I've tried encouraging people to check out his speeches and they would only make people more confused. I used to wonder why cheesy group "mindfulness and meditation" centers existed, since those centers are never really serious about existential work and they usually just market as "stress relief," but now I understand.

But what if free will and individual doership are real? In ego consciousness we cannot prove nor disprove that. And even as I intellectually think my model is logically consistent, the model can be false. And what about the depersonalization disorder in psychology where the individual experiences himself or herself as a passive observer? As I understand spiritual enlightenment conceptually, it's about actualizing oneness. Depersonalization disorder is totally different because then the person experiences even more separation from reality. Spiritual enlightenment is about the absence of separation at the fundamental level. Nonduality teacher Roger Castillo (who sometimes uses ACIM quotes) said that his teaching which he learned from Ramesh Balsekar is about replacing the ego concept in the mind with new concepts about nonduality. I like that approach since it can be tested in one's own experience. If there is truth to nonduality then there is a possibility that the nondual concepts become true in the sense of actualizing oneness.

BREAKTHROUGH: After not meditating for about 3 days and simply following my hedonism. I decided to just meditate for an hour. I was becoming aware of how my mind and brain function more or to simply how my consciousness functions to not give it limitations. I was literally meditating and I began to think of love and I was overwhelmed by the unlimited amount of warmth. Of course, that was something I found extremely interesting in what I was basking in was wonderful. Before all of this occurred I began to undergo this trial which made me feel extremely fearful for no reason, once my awareness was able to see that this was all being made up by the mind I was able to complete this mini-trial but it was heart racing. I would admit this was the first time I have ever been able to become aware of these small trials before receiving love. I was able to become aware of the little tension my brain creates and just simply being gave me everything sort to speak. Then I again asked myself in my self Inquiry “Who Am I” and I could feel each word and were in my brain they were occurring and I noticed how the “I” was occurring in my heart. Through my knowledge of Nonduality and its theory, I was able to knock many challenges know to keep my cool. One of the more interesting aspects of this was how it seemed to be me communing with some type of feminine energy and also manly annoying person energy... I’m sure this just simply is myself but it was a cool interaction.

I actually kind of like this. The language is a little too religious for me, but it's right in that we have to literally "surrender ourselves" (give up the lower-case self) to open our hearts. Love can only enter in the absence of fear and self-identification, so your identity must be expanded greatly. Chris is also right that any written phrase can only be rightly interpreted by gaining the proper body of experience, or in this case a raise in consciousness. The core of every major religion *at conception* is mysticism and nonduality, and I think it's fascinating that there are still high-consciousness remnants in all major texts despite millennia of distortions.

Thanks for this great example. @SOUL Notice that while this is a potent explanation of the Absolute, and it can't be said much clearer than this, even still it is utterly meaningless and confusing to you or to anyone who hasn't experienced it. Any explanation can only reflect on your own direct experience, so, we can deduce that this explanation cannot bring any seeker closer to It. If you're awake: "cool story bro." If you're a genuine seeker: "huh that sounds interesting what the fuck?" You're trying to use duality to... Cut duality? Can a knife cut itself? You're seeped in the very thing you're trying to rid yourself of. Leo understands this deeply, and yet leaves open lines of debate and inquiry into the Absolute, and he seriously answers them. My question is... Why? Let me give an example. "What is nonduality?" My answer: "I can tell you what it is not. It is not anything that you can imagine, write, speak, watch, smell, feel, or think about." "Ok... So what is it?" "....silence*" "I'm serious, what is it?" "...Now you see our little predicament." Even to say, "nonduality means that everything is one and all distinctions are imaginary." Is already painting a dualistic picture and not getting you any closer to it. The number "one" will be interpreted as an integer, distinct from zero or two. It will most likely be visualized as a sphere. Are you getting the picture? Everything that is said about nonduality on this forum daily is a fruitless fucking game. Now, go back and re-read this thread. Thank you for your time and understanding. ?

Let me ask you this: can I answer this question an infinite number of ways? We are not interpreting the meaning of Shakespeare's plays. Your arguments hold up when concerning relative, ambiguous works like poetry, but the beauty (and downfall) of this sub-Forum is that we try to grapple with the Absolute. What THAT is cannot be communicated in any way. What language CAN do is serve as a pointer, and pointers have relative levels of accuracy in pointing to an object. "Hate is the metaphysical root of reality, so we should further Nazi ideas" would be removed from the forum because it's a pointer in the opposite direction of Truth. Truth is metaphorically the object towards which we want to point. Of course Truth isn't an object. A pointer is relative, limited, and has no substance. Notice that an expression of language does not contain meaning within itself, rather, it produces images and ideas within you that you then relate to create webs of meaning. These images are based on your own body of experience. So, You cannot communicate a novel experience or idea. You cannot communicate a higher level of consciousness. So if you're not already awake, all pointers towards Truth, no matter how "accurate," will not get you closer to It. This is because IT is something outside your body of experience... It is a novel experience way beyond words. In this way, all interpretations of enlightenment, nonduality, and the Absolute are by definition misleading. *An interpretation through language brings up images in your mind, all of which are finite, 2-D or 3-D. ANYTHING you can say or think about it is NOT THAT.* Truth cannot be taught. Leo's videos on these subjects can be helpful, but only because I awakened already. Ultimately it's just more story that separates you from truth. In essence, a pointer only becomes visible when you have the necessary body of experience. And because each word reflects on your own unique experience, any one interpretation will have a slightly different meaning to each person that reads it, but the general direction is there. Language is such a crude tool. Infinity of experience, not of expression through language.

maybe @lmfao has something to say to this? @Lento seems to have jumped on a critique train stemming of this thread - while the critique was not even thoroughly researched. in a thread that wanted to talk about abuse in the forum. i guess lento is fast to jump in for everyone, which is pretty cool on one hand, but really bad if it’s about some made up problematic regarding ideologies - which make real nonduality wars. it‘s not good or bad in the sense of good and evil - it’s just carrying on the devilry which was supposed to stop there. this is just an observation - maybe if talked through could change something about the situation. but its in a sense right, its ok to critique some things, but stirring up the whole forum and questioning leo while he’s on a retreat... seems somehow like something rather low spiritual. without any grudge - because lento and me had a talk out, i did not take it as something against me that he stood up for martin123. (just to avoid any ideas or interpretation about my intention of this post - in the end he is responsible for what he’s posting himself - its just sad that it seems like it happened because of a maybe even unintended stirr up) although i sometimes question the reasoning, too, if critique gets stronger punishment than abuse - it actually doesn’t matter how people are reasoning... the outcome somehow does not compute with the equation.

1. You will not find infinite variety of expression here. It's already quite limited. 2. ANY interpretation is delusion, that's my point. I'm not saying that one true selection of words is the way, I'm saying it's all bullshit. The no-interpretation, or the riddle/koan gets you closer to the realization. Everything you find here about consciousness, enlightenment, and nonduality is in fact misleading. It may or may not be coming from a deluded place, but the act of poor translation through language to another, less experienced reader is the delusion. That being said, I have no problem with people bullshitting, but I feel like we need to let newbies know that they must experience it first before they mentally masturbate about it. We kinda do that already, but as it stands now I wouldn't recommend this forum to a seeker. If I'm not mistaken, that's the purpose of the forum.

I see where you're coming from. However, I think we should do more to steer people away from mentally masturbating about enlightenment and nonduality on the forum. It's a real trap. What you're saying is like, "well people know to not get addicted to opiates right? If they get addicted it's THEIR fault." We know that's not entirely true. Show more compassion! We need to take responsibility... this is a resource for newbies. If people wanna bullshit here on the forum, that's totally fine. But more could be done to make it abundantly clear that conceptualizing post-rational states of consciousness won't get you ANYWHERE. Not even a little bit. Talking to newbies about nonduality will never get them closer to that realization of their true nature, precisely because language is relative to an individual's experience they've already had. It's impossible to communicate a higher state of consciousness. That wasn't made clear to me until I had this epiphany a couple years after the fact. I've reflected on it more, and I don't think we should shut down this subforum. It serves a purpose in ways that may seem counter-intuitive at first. But I think it's a little too free-range as it stands right now. We encourage newbies to participate in discussions way outside their current consciousness... and that's honestly unconscionable if we really value their growth. Perhaps the resources need to be updated... made more concise and on-the-nose about the dangers and traps of such work. That's all I'm advocating for.