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You have to be honest with yourself and your needs first. If she is on the same level as you than she should be receptive to understand you. Once a week is not much because usually still quite early in the relationship, in my past relationships sometimes lovemaking would occur multiple times a day in the beginning because everything is fresh and things need to be exchanged, energy needs to go somewhere. It is also important to be aware of is if she is just wanting sex to "release" and use you as that tool for that release, this then can become a toxic cycle for both of you and not stemming out of pure love, true lovemaking is so powerful that you both become so nourished by it that it tends to occur less often but more potent and transforming. This is at least what I have observed in my dances with women and lovers. We sometimes need to find ways to nourish that inner-primal being but also teach it respect and discipline. You could bring up with her to learn to channel that energy in other ways, like creative tasks, dancing, whatever she is passionate about, and with practice she will be amazed that she will feel more bliss and less needy for sex. Its an Art form, and life is a balancing act.

Yes many times, maybe 30 - 40 times in my earlier years. MDMA is more of a "cheap bliss" that the undisciplined mind tends can get psychologically attached too because It has yet to experience anything greater. I abused MDMA later a lot because I aimed to replicate what I had experienced through deep inquiry and meditation after a destructive recycling process, yet it never provided me the same purity and everlasting wholesomeness. It always was a smokey version of the true heart of joy and purity of being. MDMA is can be more "intense" yes, but its an un-natural feeling, its a drug, a "copy" of the real thing, which is pure, peace, bliss, cool, calm, content. You can still induce similar intensity naturally with meditation and breathing, but its not ideal to be in such intense states all the time or you will struggle to ground and relate to the physical reality in any way, you will be too "out there" for any growth and structure in life or relation to it. If you want a substitute, mushrooms are much better and will not mess you up and cause more trauma down the line. Synthetic substances have no fail-safes, no guidance systems, so you need to be disciplined and Self-realized to utilize without risks, and even then, you will naturally gravitate to what is more natural. We must choose Truth over "feeling good" and we will always feel good. You are always in control.

With all due respect to you, have you ever tried mdma? I never ever achieved natural state even one billionth of what mdma can do? Again I am not being addictive to it, but to admit, it’s such an amazing feeling, when you get a chance to dive into heaven. I know this is not the answer and every spiritual teacher will tell you to get into bliss naturally. But let’s be all honest, can you naturally achieve such states? I personally cannot and nothing helps me even meditating. Again I have full time job and I do not spend so much time on it anyways. But once in a blue moon you can treat yourself. Hence that’s why I started this thread to see natural alternatives because mdma is not a healthy med.

I experience more ecstasy when I focus on bliss, do what I love and am passionate for, fasting, fruit, cacao helps sometimes. MDMA pales in comparison to true inner peace, freedom, bliss, joy...

This is inconsistent with other reports that say that god is infinite bliss and orgasm.

If suffering is imaginary anyway why feel the need to justify it? The fact that it’s imaginary and that that imagination alongside time will fade away back into infinite unchanging bliss justifies everything in the end, no matter how shitty it seems.

I am there where all paradoxes are Beyond everything and nothing is where I reside. Existence and non existence in one. Complete stillness and rapid movement. Total goodness and absolute evil. Complete free will and determinism. Utter despair and unimaginable gratitude. No way out, freedom at every turn. Total perfection and fucked up nonsense. I am that which I am not. Nobody seeing through no one. Emptiness and substance one. Nothing to stand on, firm ground everywhere. Tears of terror and bliss. Nothing more real than the dream. Paralyzing fear turned into courage. Nothing more deserving of love than the unlovable. Being awake the most deceptive form of dreaming. Suffering necessary joy. Words the only way for the unncomunicable. Everything equally important and redundant. Love the final enemy of the self. Accepting denial good way to flush out resistance. Brutal honesty just another lie. Transcendence the best way to be brought back to reality. Years of work put into one second of closing all doors to self forever. Saving yourself to save no one. Saying no sure way to be smothered by yes. Beyond space and time I am, bound only by a lie. Lifetime of confusion for one second of earthshattering clarity. Lifetime of self hate for one second of life changing self love. Balancing the known and the unknown only with faith. Having faith only in the unavoidability of love. Destruction of the interior for the new creation of exterior. Non experiencing every experience imaginable. Wanting not to be so much you're only left with being. Giving up yourself to gain yourself. Removing your eyes to see yourself. Always moving, never going anywhere. Those are all the things that I am and I am not.

I don't know if this expands the perspective, yet I've done DIRECT... meditations of pain within this expansion and contraction paradigm, and if I play out the scenario there is no point of existence even suffering. That is how simply it would be. Pain can move you into absolute fullfilment. It has a very satisfactory quality. You can basically become blissed out and burn yourself without experiencing pain like the vietnamese monks did during a protest, from my type of understanding. Taking full responsbility for the information. Although this is more jhanic from my understanding and has nothing to do with consciouness. It's more of a byproduct of other types of meditative work. Some "schools" deemphasise this. As far as I can tell it has nothing to do DIRECTLY, with consciouness. Bliss states and joy != consciouness, that is at least my experience. It's more restful and equanemous, yet that is not consciouness. I presume high states of consciouness can be blissed out with jhanic type of samadhi gradations... so... you see the whole point of it. The paradigm that I did: https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/art_painprocessingalg.pdf The deep state of bliss would evaporate any cravings, yes this is even mapped out I bet in some buddhist type texts. This is nothing very new, yet very difficult to attain. These states are jhanic not god-realized, it's more of a subset of subsets within consciouness work sort of. From my POV. Blissed out there is no problem. Although IIRC even this is also suffering, so you are also correct in some aspect. When I recall some of the book reading, I did here. Might be no end to it as long as there is a physical body, besides very very deep states of bliss from jhanic type work. Even in higher bodies "kaya's" ... it is very possible suffering is there, yet that is very advanced.

No. Your work is not at all spiritual. Your work is about mysticism. A lot of people will awaken following your methods (not me because my physiology unfortunately cannot handle psychedelics), but no one following your methods will transcend suffering. You can claim mysticism>spirituality (and I mostly agree with you btw) but that does not in any way change what they are. Of course, wrong expectations about methods you employ will fuck you in the ass. Which is why making the distinction between spirituality and mysticism is so crucial. No shit. Forget 40 years they must know this before they even begin, nobody that isn't ignorant ever said otherwise. Many other practices lean towards spirituality rather than mysticism Being freed of suffering is not a 'perk'. It is the very function of such practices. I'm not saying it's not a waste of time because I simply don't know but am committed figuring things out as I grow. "The downside of pursuing only mysticism and not liberation is that there is no guarantee that you will become free of suffering and full of bliss. In fact, without training for those things I pretty much guarantee you won't get them." I reiterate; Spirituality=liberation Mysticism=understanding This distinction is not only accurate but very useful. It did not come from me, it was observed thousands of years ago. Do not ignore its value.

Understanding is great -- it's certainly better to understand than not to understand. But you can't really enjoy life, if you don't dissolve your karma. I think true spirituality is not really about understanding but about accelerating a process that is natural. Sadhguru talks about the dissolution of karma here: "A spiritual path means we want to set your karmic process on fast-forward. We want to take a bigger load of karma than the allotted load because we don’t want to come back and do the same thing again and again. We want to finish it off right now. This is a conscious choice one has to make – do you want to slowly work it out or do you want all the nonsense to be over as quick as possible." - Shut Down Your Karma Factory – Part 1 (sadhguru.org) More resources on the dissolution of karma: Death and Dissolution: The Role of a Master (sadhguru.org) ET_Mar2008.pdf (ishafoundation.org) Karma People like Adya, Hawkins, and Jed allude to the same thing, but they don't talk about it in detail like Sadhguru does. "You tell the universe you want some sort of spiritual achievement – awakening or enlightenment or higher consciousness or whatever – and instead of your life becoming wall-to-wall bliss, it turns to shit." - Jed

1) There is no guarantee those dogmatic practices will get you any ultimate understanding. 2) Manual practices are still useful and important. I don't agree with such a distinction/framing. I consider what I do and teach to be the highest form of spirituality, the very heart of it. Any spiritual practice which doesn't result in a deep understanding of what Consciousness is, is criminally negligent. And people need to be made aware of this. It does no one any good if you get tricked into doing 40 years of Buddhist practice, only to finally be told: "Ah, well, but it was not designed to produce and understanding of Consciousness." If your spiritual practice doesn't produce consciousness into the nature of God, then it's a bad practice, regardless of how much is frees you of suffering or any other perks. The yoga rabbit hole is deep. However, all I said is that doing dogmatic practice offers you no guarantees of understanding. If you want to gamble on it, that's up to you. My fundamental problem with such spirituality is that it's based on blind adherence to a set of practices for decades without any idea what the result will be and what gaps you will end up with in your understanding. It's equivalent to stumbling upon a map and deciding to devote your whole life to following it, because you believe it will bring you to the promise land. But in fact you have no way of knowing where that map will take you. It might take you to stupid land. I have never taken his martial arts workshops. His consciousness workshops are a combo of theory and a bunch of class exercises with partners. Each workshop lasts about 1 week. They are very good. I don't know. I'd have to think about that. I like Vernon Howard. I like David Hawkins. And others. Although that doesn't mean I agree with everything they teach. My claim is that the entire purpose of Consciousness is self-understanding. There is no other game in town. Everything else is just entertainment until you die. Yes, eventually Consciousness's understanding of itself becomes so high that it reaches Omniscience and physical existence itself becomes unnecessary. The downside of the understanding path is that there is no guarantee that you will become free of suffering and full of bliss. In fact, without training for those things I pretty much guarantee you won't get them.

Hey @Ninja_pig! I hope you're holding in there okay! I know this stuff can be really challenging - I experienced something very similar over the past year and I'd love to share what it was like for me and how I've been finding my way out. I hope it's helpful to hear my story! I'll try to keep it as short as possible, but I know this is gonna be a bit of a long one Leading up to June 2022, I had done a substantial amount of spiritual work and I felt like I was on the cusp of something. I had some intense psychedelic experiences, meditated rigorously, and even popped into short non-dual states. But in all those years of spiritual work, I was still under the materialist paradigm and the illusion of a material universe. Sometime in June 2022, I took around 300 ug of LSD on a lazy Saturday. I had already tried 4.5 g of mushrooms and some NN DMT, so it's safe to say that I wasn't expecting that LSD trip to rock my world. But at some point during the trip, I fell into divine love and unity. I was writhing around in tears of pure bliss and had the realization that there is no physical world... there is only beautiful, loving consciousness made of nothing dancing in nothingness The realization had been building over years, but it snapped during that trip and cracked me wide open. It was the most beautiful experience of my life up until that point. ...and then I started to come down lmfao. There was a HUGE discrepancy between the love and truth that I experienced during that trip and what I experienced on a day-to-day basis during that time, and because of that, it threatened my ego BIG TIME when it came back online. It was essentially a massive episode of ego backlash immediately after my most ego-less experience! Leo has a great video about ego backlash. The way I understand it is that following an experience of love and truth, my ego was so threatened that it had to lash out with fear and delusion in order to stay alive... so it threw my worst fear in my face: Nihilism! All of a sudden, I started experiencing violent intrusive thoughts. I was so caught off guard because of what a beautiful experience I had just had on the LSD that I didn't even see it coming! But I was pummelled night and day with questions like "If God is whole and complete and you don't exist as a separate self, why stay alive?". Ultimately, these were fearful questions that had been in the back of my mind during my whole spiritual journey, and I believe that my ego used these as a last stand to fight against the experience of God realization that I was having. I felt existential dread every day for months, but I had this intuitive sense that the only way out was through. So I continued meditating intensely, reading, and of course, watching some lovely Leo videos to figure out what was going on. And the last time I tripped, I had a breakthrough! I realized that this fear, nihilism, existential dread, and even loneliness only happen in the human mind through ego-centric thoughts. In my most loving and truthful states after a deep meditation, there are no thoughts about that kind of shit... in fact, there aren't many thoughts at all. My mistake in dealing with my ego backlash was that I tried to fight my fearful thoughts with more thoughts! I thought there was a LOGICAL way out of it. But God isn't lonely, depressed, or nihilistic. God is love. And God doesn't need some external reason to exist. The point is itself! So anyway! Instead of engaging these ego backlash thoughts, I just do my best to love them and drop them. I get present and relax into the nonduality instead of going through thought loops about it! Because without the petty shit that my ego mind throws, there is no nihilism. There's just God! And nothing else. And now I'm back to crying my eyes out on the floor over the beauty of God! Full circle lol. Some helpful techniques include Vipassana meditation (or any meditation really), Leo's Satisfaction meditation, Metta meditation, and lighter, silly things that help me out of my head and into presence/love (watching standup comedy, appreciating some nature, laughing with friends). I hope you can gain something from hearing about my pitfalls and successes here @Ninja_pig! I apologize for the long post - this is just a topic near and dear to my heart and I wish you the best of luck working through it. It's been a beautiful milestone on my journey and I know it is for you too Also shoutout to my boi @Leo Gura the spiritual goat - thanks for helping me to realize nothing heheheee

Maybe Peter mentions bliss occasionally and in place of the word love so as not to mislead people, or perhaps because it's more precise. After all, love brings up many conventional associations that bliss doesn't. That opens up the matter for others to consider. Talk about love and peace if you want to gather people's attention. However, this will mislead them because the point is to experience whatever is true, not being fed whatever we want to hear. If you tell them you'll experience X or Y, people tend to fantasize, will miss the point and their investigations will get clouded by their preconceptions, preferences, and extrapolations about where it'll lead. or some such

Firstly, you are God Secondly, you are eternal and infinite, suffering is not. Suffering is nothing but the experience of not being God/Love/Consciousness. Which is necessary to experience being God/Love/Consciousness. Therefore suffering leads to bliss. Suffering is Love. It's beauty lies in feeling so convincingly real. There will be a point where you will Love all suffering because you see how it is Love and why God created it out of infinite intelligence.

This is a novel facet of consciousness that I have recently revealed to myself. Reality/consciousness is Absolutely Good, but simultaneously better than Absolute Good Reality has two aspects to it, Absolute and relative (Void and form) These two aspects are equivalent and interchangeable but not reducable to either one, which is what generates an infinite loop of form getting better than void The void is generic and the form concrete, and the concrete forms are all equally absolutely good, but some forms can be better than other forms. Infinity plus one is not infinity but more than infinity, thus some forms are better than absolutely good, and this feedback loop is accelerating in time. It does not reduce back into infinity or Absolute Infinity but adds more to it. Differentiation is as good as absolutely good, but it can be better than undifferentiation So after reality being love and absolutely good, it is also lovemaking and euphoric All void is euphoric, but some forms are more euphoric than other ones Void is making love with form, this is the most beautiful thing that exists, and even more beautiful than that because of the self-definition to be better than better Because of this suffering does not exist, pain is not real, and there is infinite bliss for forever God did not create suffering at all Suffering is a joke by God, God can joke about suffering because it does not exist, because God is euphoric Everything is euphoric but some things are more euphoric than other things Reality is more than net positive There is nothing but the feeling of orgasm, but some forms bring about this feeling even more than others Reality is literally an infinite orgasm that keeps getting more orgasmic and better with time There is no limit like Absolute Good to reality, which is why its always Absolutely Good but always getting better than that Love is Absolutely Good but reality is better than love, and God will invent a million things better than euphoria and love in the future, but because its Love it can surpass itself Love is not the end of reality, it is just the beginning This is all based on there being no other at all Love is always true but there are forms better ans more perfect than what love is Direct experience does not exist because it is void, which is why suffering is not real, because it does not exist in form, which makes all of this absolutely good and euphoric. At the same time nonexistence aka void is equally valid and real as form real as in that the void is imaginary and nonexistant but this imagination and nonexistance is real. This is direct experience and it does not and does exist at the same time, but don't collapse it intoo being either or. Absolute Solipsism is only a small part of the story, there are a million different facets to reality/consciousness/oneness/nonduality

I think childhood trauma is overrated by mainstream media. It's not as bad as it's portrayed to be, and healing is quite easy if you're unplugged from the triggers. I've had a lot of traumas and was able to heal from so much of them even though my environment is still toxic. It's paradoxical. The less seriously you take trauma, the less serious it becomes. And the more stories you make up about it, the longer it sticks. Victims taking their victimhood seriously will simply lock them up in that role forever. Ignorance is bliss. You should never read about trauma if you're traumatized. That'll only keep you stuck. Only read about it if you're healthy, and hope that you remain healthy, because it could sneak silently into your mind without you even knowing.

@Moksha what is the correlation between being free of thoughts(letting go) or just being and allowing thoughts to be there .. is aligning thoughts with feelings still an act of the ego?. Most of the time when I just feel the bliss of being present , creative or positive thoughts pop up after a while. Should I let them go too or play them out. I have the sense that , especially in the traditional spirituality, thought in general is seen as bad.

@woohoo123 You should follow your bliss right. So you should be somewhat motivated to do it even if you don't make it to the top. Maybe music making isn't for you. Everybody's life purpose is making music I don't get it. Have you thought about building a band? Everybody in the band will constantly share feedback so you will get motivated to get better there.

I finally did it, I finally had my first DMT experience! I've been waiting for this moment for two years, and finally found it. The experience was the exact opposite of what I expected. This trip was ALL about rooting, grounding, reconnecting with motivation for life, rekindling that passion for matter, for flesh and bones. I was expecting a very lofty and nondual trip, but DMT didn't give me what I wanted, it gave me what I NEEDED THE MOST. Grounding into my best possible life. I have tried several psychedelics, received huge benefits from them, also gone to therapy for two years and changed my psyche into a healthier and more balanced version, recovering almost entirely from depression and anxiety, but.... DMT has accomplished what no amount of therapy or LSD (or other psychs) could never accomplish: It gave me back my SPIRITUAL CONNECTION TO LIFE AND MATTER, a love for life I've never had in the past. Maybe the most incredible part is that the trip itself was not the peak of the experience. The peak was my walk through the riverside where I received so many insights into life and felt such a powerful love for the human experience. Setting: in my car for the actual trip, walking along the riverside for the afterglow Dose: 10-12 mg (my scale is not that accurate) It was definitely a light trip, no visuals, no time distortion, no mystical states, just everyday life and LOTS of powerful emotions Duration: 15 mins trip, 2 hours of very intense afterglow rich of insights I don't even know where to start. Words fail me. It was too much, even though the experience was completely ordinary, it was SO SHOCKINGLY PROFOUND at the same time. Perceptions were the same old ones, but the emotions that this trip evoked in me were out of this world. Love for life, love for my humanity, love for matter, love for this limited flawed experience, love and gratitude for having so much to live here and now. THE TRIP ITSELF The trip was just me, in my car, with ordinary reality and ordinary perceptions, realizing just how scared of life and of living fully I am. That's it. I cried a lot, I sighed a lot, It felt so good, I was letting it all out. It's ok, I am scared of life, I've been hurt, I have felt lost for so long (it's important to say that my life is getting better and better in the recent years, but this trip just revealed to me how deeply scared and damaged I've been my whole life and how I'm still scared and weak even after all the progress). I want to be free to connect with people, I want to be free to love others, I want to be free to be real, authentic, to be open-hearted. Lots of tears, mixed with the joy of feeling pure, feeling DEEPLY alive, once again. I thought I had regained my liveliness in the recent years, which is true, but this was a NEW LEVEL of life-passion, a new sparkle of fire, a purer kind of light. THE AFTERGLOW (2 hours) I went for a long walk along the river, where I saw people talking, people with their dogs, birds, the clear mirroring water, and cried a lot, sometimes of compassion for myself, sometimes of love and gratitude for being inside this human experience, gratitude for recognizing the gift of life itself. It was spirituality getting back to the Earth, to the roots. Here are the insights I got, most of them are covered in tears and sighs: 1. I was getting lost in the heavens. Too much spiritual seeking of the nondual states, especially sober. This made me detached from the earth and from the gift of life. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT INSIGHT, and mother to all others. I expected a trip into the sky, but I was instead sent deep into the earth, to regain connection with material life and its spiritual dimension. 2. Material life is spiritual. I was creating a sneaky duality where only meditative and self-inquiring states were becoming "the serious way to live". I was sooooo wrong!!! Earth is spirit. Blood is spirit. Pain is spirit. Flesh and bones are spirit. I was escaping into nonduality, creating some sort of dissociation from life. 3. The small things are the great things. Seeing those people with their dogs made me cry. I never realized how much light and wonder there is in these ordinary everyday situations. I deeply felt the magic of these people going out with the dog they loved and cared for. Life is full of experience, and experience is a gift. 4. Stop littering. I have always been a pro-ecology person, but recently I have started littering unconsciously because of some kind of frustration. I realized how much love and care I can show to life and to the absolute by just CARING about my Earth. By keeping these tissues and papers for myself to throw in a bin after is a sign of spiritual love for this place. This place has been given to me by God. I am not going to litter anymore. 5. Stop being so cautious around people. Life is meant to be messy and to be both a challenging and pleasant experience. You will be safe, but you need to be more vulnerable and open to people. You can choose to be less introverted and connect with new people. In fact I realized how much I want new connections and new friends, and how my fear is getting in the way of my desires. 6. Life is all about desire and passion. Life is also about awakening, but you CAN NOT use awakening as a dissociating tool to reduce pain from life. Pain is spirit. Suffering is spirit. You cannot avoid the messiness of life and awaken. So the insight repeats: get back to the roots, get back into the dirt and you will find spirit there. 7. You have moved towards the sky a bit too much recently. Move towards the earth. New levels of the awakening path will await you there, downwards, not upwards. You cannot grow your branches up in the sky if you are not growing your roots, or you will dissociate from life or even become psychotic. Be wise. 8. Fear is spirit. But don't let fear become an excuse. Fear is spirit, meaning that fear is a phenomenon of spirit, it appears in the spirit, but it is not a real ostacle to living life fully. Learn from it, don't get mesmerized by it. 9. Do not fear to love people deeply. Yes, you will get hurt again. It will benefit you, you are more awake now (not awakened, but just more awake than in the past), and you can grow and benefit from heartbreak. It will not damage you anymore. Living fully is feeling passions fully. This is how God meant it to be. 10. God is below. Not really above. It's a delusion of religion. God is in the small things. 11. DMT could not give you a lofty trip because that's not what grows you spiritually. What grows you spiritually is FINDING THE MAGIC IN LIFE, finding that LOVE IN CRUDE MATTER. The dirty raw soil you hold in your hands IS GOD!!!! It's not some lofty fantastical idea of being in pure bliss and light. Realize how much love and wonder there is in this raw chaotic and imperfect soil. It vibrates with passion for itself. DMT had to show you this, because spirituality is all about loving what is, not loving what you expect to be. I want to share this raw imperfect and impulsive poem, because that's something REAL I've felt, It's messy and intense, as life it's meant to be. As God wants it to be. Earth or heaven It doesn't matter Where you look for it God is found In Earth full of bones Leave the sky Drop your hopes Just feel it here It runs in you The pulse of blood The scorching sun The freezing air A cry of despair A tear of hope All of this just is The breath of God Do not seek elsewhere Just dive through The shades of life ❤️❤️❤️ Thanks DMT. I will come back.

What is this boundless thing we call infinity? A number that exceeds all count and measure. A space that stretches far beyond our eye. A time that knows no end nor pause nor leisure? Or is it but a fancy of the mind, A word to fill the gaps of human thought? A dream that we can never hope to find, A prize that we can never truly sought. Nay, rather let us think of it as this: A challenge to our reason and our will, A source of wonder and of endless bliss, A power that can inspire us still. For though we may not grasp it with our sense, We may yet feel it with our soul's essence. Beyond the stars and planets Beyond the sun and moon Beyond the edge of space and time There lies infinity A concept so sublime A mystery so profound A paradox so puzzling That no one can define Infinity is beauty Infinity is grace Infinity is wonder and terror in one place Infinity is endless Infinity is vast Infinity is everything and nothing at the last.

There was I, standing outside waiting for a green light to cross the street. I was nothing even though my appearance was something, I could feel my warm hand as hot tea that I had in my hand. At that time I really really realized what I actually Am. I'm magic nothing that can creates somehow whatever it desires. I'm the shape shifter. I never knew that the truth is such an amazing and joyful thing. It's a pure bliss to be God and it's going to be forever, no matter what. So here I am now in a form of a human imagining other humans Haha

I can tell you have never experienced bliss/selfless/omniscient states of consciousness, all the things you're seeking to fill your desires are already within you. You're still too busy with physicality and illusionary concepts that keep you seeking, you will never achieve true happiness or true self like that

How do you know happines and bliss without suffering? How do you know God without knowing the devil? How do you know Truth without knowing falsehood? God, there is no god but He. He has let me wander in darkness with the devil, with a devil who claimed to be God, in falsehood, only to come and expose it. In this way, I learned what falsehood is, and I learned what Truth is, I learned who the devil was and Who God is. He has let me suffer for a lifetime, only to come and make me happy. In this way, I learned what true happines really is. He has let people corrupt my mind with falsehood, only to come and expose and destroy the falsehood, and show me the Truth. In this way, I learned what falsehood is, and what Truth is. From Him we were created, and to Him we shall return.

@Ayham Im not an expert just an opinionated guy trying to figure this stuff out. The goal of kriya is to make you feel blissful and calm your mind. Think of it like the techniques are how to throw a basketball, and the bliss and calmness are like hitting the hoop. You only know if you are doing the techniques well if it makes you hit the goal. Kriya teachers are very unpedagogical in my opinion. Most kriya yogies are practising how to throw the basketball without any consideration for if it hits the hoop. How strong you are able to generate these feelings is like building a muscle. It might be medium strength at first, but as you open doors in your psyche and build the "muscle" you can eventually get to a place there it's like an orgasm. But if you feel close to nothing at first you are not doing it right. With regard to visualization: You should read Ennio Nimis' book on kriya to understand the subtleties of pulling energy. The goal is to generate a feeling of energy going up and down your body. With practice, you can feel the proper channel in your spine but this is not necessary for beginners. Visualization is just a means to generate feeling. You don't even need to visualize as long as you hit the hoop, which is to generate energy feeling. You don't have to upgrade your routine. It's not like you are gonna get all your results in the last 5 min of a 1h routine. All talk of you have to do this or that is dogma. If it works, it works. Mahamudra feels incredible to me. It's very grounding as I hit the rook chakra very hard as the energy descends down the spine. Santata Gamana got his pranayama from modifying the technique of a guy called Sri Rangin Mukherjee. His technique is to create bliss in the chakras by chanting om in them but instead of doing it in the body he does it in the middle of the head(agna chakra). Create a sense of radiation love in your chest. Notice how the same energetic feeling is also felt in your head. Now focus on the feeling in your head instead of your chest. With practice, you won't have to feel the chakra in the body at all, you just have to bring up a mental memory of it. When I do this it's so intense that I start shaking and twisting my body. I'm not good at handling pleasure. Sri Mukherjee does 6 oms per in- and out-breath going up and down the first 6 chakras(again, all in the head, there is no actual vertical movement). The technique requires you to be familiar with the chakras beforehand. Personally, I do one breath per chakra because I can't breathe slowly enough without rushing the technique. Sri Mukherjee's writings on his techniques are really bad, I don't recommend his books. It was hard for me to parse out his techniques. I would recommend practicing energy work fundamentals before getting into kriya. Tara Springett's teachings are good, especially her book 'Enlightenment through the path of Kundalini'. Try the technique I posted above in my other post.

Questioner: You say reality is one. Oneness, unity, is the attribute of the person. Is then reality a person, with the universe as its body? Nisargadatta Maharaj: Whatever you may say will be both true and false. Words do not reach beyond the mind. Q: I am just trying to understand. You are telling us of the Person, the Self and the Supreme (vyakti, vyakta, avyakta). The light of Pure Awareness (prajna), focussed as ‘I am’ in the Self (jivatma), as consciousness (chetana) illumines the mind (antahkarana) and as life (prana) vitalises the body (deha). All this is fine as far as the words go. But when it comes to distinguishing in myself the person from the Self and the Self from the Supreme, I get mixed up. M: The person is never the subject. You can see a person, but you are not the person. You are always the Supreme which appears at a given point of time and space as the witness, a bridge between the pure awareness of the Supreme and the manifold consciousness of the person. Q: When I look at myself, I find I am several persons fighting amongst themselves for the use of the body. M: They correspond to the various tendencies (samskara) of the mind. Q: Can I make peace between them? M: How can you? They are so contradictory! See them as they are: mere habits of thoughts and feelings, bundles of memories and urges. Q: Yet they all say, “I am”. M: It is only because you identify yourself with them. Once you realise that whatever appears before you cannot be yourself and cannot say, “I am”, you are free of all your ‘persons’ and their demands. The sense ‘I am’ is your own. You cannot part with it, but you can impart it to anything, as in saying, “I am young”, “I am rich” and so on. But such self-identifications are patently false and the cause of bondage. Q: I can now understand that I am not the person, but that which, when reflected in the person, gives it a sense of being. Now, what about the Supreme? In what way do I know myself as the Supreme? M: The source of consciousness cannot be an object in consciousness. To know the source is to be the source. When you realise that you are not the person, but the pure and calm witness, and that fearless awareness is your very being, you are the being. It is the source, the Inexhaustible Possibility. Q: Are there many sources or one for all? M: It depends how you look at it: in other words, from which end. The objects in the world are many, but the eye that sees them is one. The higher always appears as one to the lower and the lower as many to the higher. Q: Shapes and names are all of one and the same God? M: Again, it all depends on how you look at it. On the verbal level everything is relative. Absolutes should be experienced, not discussed. Q: How is the Absolute experienced? M: It is not an object to be recognised and stored up in memory. Rather, it is in the present and in feeling. It has more to do with the ‘how’ than with the ‘what’. It is in the quality, in the value; being the source of everything, it is in everything. Q: If it is the source, why and how does it manifest itself? M: It gives birth to consciousness. All else is in consciousness. Q: Why are there so many centres of consciousness? M: The objective universe (mahadakash) is in constant movement, projecting and dissolving innumerable forms. Whenever a form is infused with life (prana), consciousness (chetana) appears by reflection of awareness in matter. Q: How is the Supreme affected? M: What can affect it and how? The source is not affected by the vagaries of the river nor is the metal by the shape of the jewelry. Is the light affected by the picture on the screen? The Supreme makes everything possible; that is all. Q: How is it that some things do happen and some do not? M: Seeking out causes is a pastime of the mind. There is no duality of cause and effect. Everything is its own cause. Q: No purposeful action is then possible? M: All I say is that consciousness contains all. In consciousness all is possible. You can have causes if you want them, in your world. Another may be content with a single cause: God’s will. The root cause is one: the sense ‘I am’. Q: What is the link between the Self (vyakta) and the Supreme (Avyakta)? M: From the self’s point of view the world is the known, the Supreme — the Unknown. The Unknown gives birth to the known, yet remains Unknown. The known is infinite, but the Unknown is an infinitude of infinities. Just like a ray of light is never seen unless intercepted by the specs of dust, so does the Supreme make everything known while remaining unknown itself. Q: Does it mean that the Unknown is inaccessible? M: Oh, no. The Supreme is the easiest to reach for it is your very being. It is enough to stop thinking and desiring anything but the Supreme. Q: And if I desire nothing, not even the Supreme? M: Then you are as good as dead, or you are the Supreme. Q: The world is full of desires. Everybody wants something or other. Who is the desirer? The person or the self? M: The self. All desires, holy and unholy, come from the self; they all hang on the sense ‘I am’. Q: I can understand holy desires (satyakama) emanating from the self. It may be the expression of the bliss aspect of the Sadchitananda (Beingness–Awareness–Happiness) of the Self. But why unholy desires? M: All desires aim at happiness. Their shape and quality depend on the psyche (antahkarana). Where inertia (tamas) predominates, we find perversions. With energy (rajas), passions arise. With lucidity (sattva) the motive behind the desire is goodwill, compassion, the urge to make happy rather than be happy. But the Supreme is beyond all; yet because of its infinite permebility all cogent desires can be fulfilled. Q: Which desires are cogent? M: Desires that destroy their subjects or objects or do not subside on satisfaction are self-contradictory and cannot be fulfilled. Only desires motivated by love, goodwill and compassion are beneficial to both the subject and object and can be fully satisfied. Q: All desires are painful, the holy as well as the unholy. M: They are not the same and pain is not the same. Passion is painful, compassion — never. The entire universe strives to fulfil a desire born of compassion. Q: Does the Supreme know itself? Is the Impersonal conscious? M: The source of all has all. Whatever flows from it must be there already in seed form. And as a seed is the last of innumerable seeds and contains the experience and the promise of numberless forests, so does the Unknown contain all that was or could have been and all that shall or would be. The entire field of becoming is open and accessible; past and future coëxist in the eternal now. Q: Are you living in the Supreme Unknown? M: Where else? Q: What makes you say so? M: No desire ever arises in my mind. Q: Are you then unconscious? M: Of course not! I am fully conscious, but since no desire or fear enters my mind, there is perfect silence. Q: Who knows the silence? M: Silence knows itself. It is the silence of the silent mind when passions and desires are silenced. Q: Do you experience desires occasionally? M: Desires are just waves in the mind. You know a wave when you see one. A desire is just a thing among many. I feel no urge to satisfy it; no action needs be taken on it. Freedom from desire means this: the compulsion to satisfy is absent. Q: Why do desires arise at all? M: Because you imagine that you were born and that you will die if you do not take care of your body. Desire for embodied existence is the root cause of trouble. Q: Yet so many jivas get into bodies. Surely it cannot be some error of judgement. There must be a purpose. What could it be? M: To know itself the self must be faced with its opposite — the non-self. Desire leads to experience. Experience leads to discrimination, detachment, self-knowledge — and liberation. And what is liberation after all? To know that you are beyond birth and death. By forgetting who you are and imagining yourself a mortal creature, you created so much trouble for yourself that you have to wake up, as from a bad dream. Inquiry also wakes you up. You need not wait for suffering — enquiry into happiness is better, for the mind is in harmony and peace. Q: Who exactly is the ultimate experiencer — the Self or the Unknown? M: The Self, of course. Q: Then why introduce the notion of the Supreme Unknown? M: To explain the Self. Q: But is there anything beyond the Self? M: Outside the Self there is nothing. All is one and all is contained in ‘I am’. In the waking and dream states it is the person. In deep sleep and turiya it is the Self. Beyond the alert intentness of turiya lies the great, silent peace of the Supreme. But in fact, all is one in essence and related in appearance. In ignorance the seer becomes the seen and in wisdom he is the seeing. But why be concerned with the Supreme? Know the knowers and all will be known. - i am that, chapter 20