Search the Community

Showing results for 'Nothingness'.


Didn't find what you were looking for? Try searching for:


More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Forum Guidelines
    • Guidelines
  • Main Discussions
    • Personal Development -- [Main]
    • Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
    • Psychedelics
    • Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
    • Life Purpose, Career, Entrepreneurship, Finance
    • Dating, Sexuality, Relationships, Family
    • Health, Fitness, Nutrition, Supplements
    • Intellectual Stuff: Philosophy, Science, Technology
    • Mental Health, Serious Emotional Issues
    • High Consciousness Resources
    • Off-Topic: Pop-Culture, Entertainment, Fun
  • Other
    • Self-Actualization Journals
    • Self-Help Product & Book Reviews
    • Video Requests For Leo

Found 6,475 results

  1. Ok, but keep in mind that right now is already infinite nothingness, and you can't be alone in it cause to be alone implies you believe there is another to begin with. Sorry If I've assumed wrong about what you believe in, then my bad, but I prefer that to be clear ^^
  2. Infinite Nothingness. God in its purest form. Without the illusion of reality.
  3. Transmutation of Sex, Eating and Sleeping. Its Not What You Think When we are experiencing or dreaming that we are having sex, either with ourselves or "others" which is still ourselves, we can closely and consciously observe whatever is happening, and especially how we feel and what we are seeing, emphasis on what we are >Seeing< and Seeing with. Now lets investigate the Seer and what the Seer is Seeing with. The Imaginary Eye. Examining The Eye, without being scientific about it, just from direct experience and and personal observations. How does The Eye actually work? What is its purpose? and can we for the sake of self-recognition, and self-understanding, investigate The Eye? When you Love someone, or look in the eyes of someone you love, they say that the pupil gets diluted, and the iris becomes thinner. What is the pupils function and what is the iris's function really? (in the dream) In the movie Samadhi (See Link 31:56 to 35:12), they use the Eye as a metaphor for Somethingness and Nothingness. And compare it to a Black Hole. The content around a Black Hole could be seen as the content around the pupil, which is in these two metaphors, the iris and the content/matter revolving around a Black Hole. What is that center (Pupil / Black Hole) ? It is the center of Everything. A singularity holding all content around it. So in your life, your eyes, the pupil is the nothingness of you, and the iris is "your" life or what you think is "you". And the center is everything and nothing at the same time, because its holding the content (your life) together. As a living organism in this dream that you/we have dreamed up, you want to experience Infinite aspects of yourself. We go through different characters that we define ourselves with. And when we define ourselves with our bodies, we forget that we are Infinite Nothingness appearing as a self. And from that duality/split we get the need for Sex, or shall I say reaching the state of Orgasm (Unity), which is a remembrance and a reminder of who we truly are, as Infinite Nothingness appearing as a finite self, experiencing Itself. To understand where I am going with this, I am going to explain and remind you of the different stages of definition of yourself experiencing the Orgasmic State and what you associated with Sex. (mind you that this is within one or many lifetimes) but what I am referring to is the expereince itself.) 1: You are deeply asleep and define yourself as the character in the dream, your awareness and experience with sex/orgasm, is a pleasurable experience and you see this like and equal to anything else in your life (eating, sleeping, socializing with friends and so on.) (reality will loop back here later on, but from a higher level, 3D Spiral Example) (Stage Beige) 1.5: You play a game with yourself, and get lost in the pleasures of the action and you still dont grasp the potential and understanding what this might entail. A part of you wants to understand why you are lost in the pleasures and why you are doing it in the manner that you are. But for the sake of exploration and experience, you sleep around and explore what pleasure is. (Status Quo) 2: You choose a new path where you are in lack of the pleasure. You experience grief as you define yourself with character and get lost in self-limiting beliefs, where you judge yourself: of not being worthy, not having the appearance you want. And you experience that manifesting in your reality, because that is what you are defining yourself with. (A bit of a victim mentality is associated with this stage) (Stage Blue) 2.5: You start to notice that this gift of sex/orgasm that you have been given is not only for pleasure, but to reproduce yourself with, and continue your bloodline and pass on your genes. (Stage Purple) 3: You use this pleasure to be "better" than others and to build a stronger identity and even to dominate "others". Here is also the trap of abusing sex and using it as exploitation of others (yourself). Here is also where comparing yourself with others in terms of appearance and power happens. (Stage Red) & (Stage Orange) 4: You choose a life within the dream where you aren't going to reproduce, and you choose to explore what it is to not reproduce and start seeking and start questioning your previous beliefs and the norm of reproduction within in society and the world. (Stage Green) 4.5: You live a life where you are "done" with the pleasure aspects and want to start questioning what Sex and Orgasm is. This is the lifetime where you also adopt spiritual habits, with this comes restrictions in the form of beliefs and dogmas, where you are still lost in definitions and labels. You continue living on, you might still want to fall back asleep and go back to the "lower" stages. Here you might get stuck a few lifetimes. (Stage Green) 5: You start questioning what Sex and Orgasm is. You consciously go back to re-experience the pleasure of Sex and Orgasm, Consciously. Here is where you start shedding your previous beliefs about Sex and Orgasm being a bad thing, because when you consciously experience it, you start noticing that it is not what you thought it was. It never will be. You realize that: You thought you knew something about reality. And it just happened to be the complete opposite of what you thought you knew about it, and all the hard feelings and anxiety that you brought on yourself by adopting that thought as a belief, Now changes your approach to everything in reality and life, and you start seeing it for what it is without labeling or defining it. (Stage Yellow and Up) (Here is also where you must be very cautious not to fall back in to beliefs and also not to abuse this to fall back in to the first stages) Its like a 3D spiral, everytime it takes a new lap around itself, it still passes the previous starting point, but from a higher level. The trap and the hard thing is to not fall back, but to transform and to keep building ontop of the previous levels.) (There are many many more stages and iterations to this, because its something beyond the human experience, its just one facet of how Infinity is experiencing Itself. Its the creative force using its manifesting powers to express itself and to experience itself.) Back to the Eye, Sex, Orgasm and the Insights I have been given. Most human beings including myself, have been using Sex and Orgasm unconsciously. (Likewise with eating food, we are not consciously eating, we are mostly eating and doing other stuff like watching tv, youtube or whatever. So we are not paying attention to how much and what we are eating. We end up eating to much or to little, because we are so busy with other stuff.) And when you are having Sex you are to busy with your emotions and thoughts. You are not paying attention to what is happening. You are not in the moment. You are caught up with how beautiful he or she is, or what you are getting out of this, i.e the pleasure. Ofcourse its beautiful, but do you really understand and observe what is happening? Are you seeing how creation is gently sharings its Consciousness with you? Are you being conscious in those moments, that your ego is slowly being stripped away? Are you conscious that this is the death of whatever you think yourself to be? And before you know it, you reach your climax and you just take it as a pleasurable experience: Oh that was nice, you tell yourself and you go on your merry way. But if you consciously observed everything up to the point of your climax, the moment of Orgasm, you would be completely stripped of whatever you thought yourself to be. In those seconds, as it is happening to you, you are dying to Love, you are dying to Infinity. But you are not paying attention, you are looking at the bodies and your definitions, labels and distinctions. You are seeing it from a dualistic point of view. You are not paying attention to him or her nor the process. What I am saying is, look in her or his eyes, look at the pupils, look at the color of their eyes, look and see how that person is a part of you by the color and shape of their Iris. Look around the edges of where the the Iris's circle is meeting their pupils. See how the Pupil of Nothingness is breathing in between the edges of the Iris, see how you are exchanging and Unifying aspects of yourselves, to eachother. Realise you are seing your own Infinite Nothingness getting expanded/diluted in to yourself. Realise that you can see another part of Yourself and Infinity in that being. How they are, how they carry themselves, how they are living their life, how they are seeing and being a part of Reality through You. Be observant of the merging of both of your fractals, realise that you are loosing the sense of who you are, dont resist it, you and her/him are no longer (in that moment) yourselves. You are creating something new for Eachother, as One Unity. And pay attention to the moment you and her/him are reaching The Orgasmic State, or preferably when both of you are. And if you dare, continue looking in the other persons eyes, as you are dying, if you dare. You will be shocked and shattered to pieces. And your being will be completely reawakened to itself. If you dont have a significant other, that is not a problem. If you can drop all your beliefs and self-judgments, fear of being judged and your own imagined self worth. You go infront of the mirror, and you do it to yourself (no matter male or female). Look yourself in the eyes while doing it, and realise that you have always been doing it with yourself, even when you "imagined" that there was an "other". Allow yourself to completely loose yourself, to Yourself. Infinately in that moment. And dont you dare looking the other way in shame. Because You are Looking at God. It brings you to tears, because you realize that you are seeing yourself for the first time. And you will be amazed at the fact that it is possible for you to see your own face. And that it is so beautiful that you can be able to Love Yourself. (for a full experience of this, try it on a Psychedelic, LSD/5MEO. Does wonders) When we are doing things consciously, we are given so much more than when we are doing out of a need or a necessity. And just like when we are eating, we can be in the moment, observe, savor and understand what it is we are doing. So we end up being full and feeling satisfied with less and seeing how less Is actually more. We see and understand the reason we are given the ability to eat. (Not just to fill our stomachs in a dissrespectful way. And go lay on the couch with a stomachache). We see and understand why we are given the ability to have Sex/Orgasm. (not to use and abuse eachother for our selfish gains and expanding our body-counts) We see and understand why we are given the ability to sleep and know what resting is. (not just to go to sleep because we are bored or have nothing else to do) When you do this in every aspect of your life, Especially with Sex/Orgasm, Eating and Sleeping. Our lives become transformed and the depth of our Consciousness expands. We grow in to a new and activated state of One-ness with ourselves (God). Remove the Mundane aspect to reality from your Mind. That is the cause of your need for things to be different. Whenever you are outside, standing somewhere and you look up at the night sky and bask in the beauty of space. You need a ground to stand on. Because without it, you would be falling and having no possibility of seeing or watching anything. Likewise your life is the ground you stand on, to be able to experience and explore Yourself. Reality is groundless. So you as God created a ground for yourself to Experience and Explore Yourself. But your ground needs good foundation to be able to hold What You Are. (Your ego must be worked on, for it to be a stable ground for your union with God.) Its all just a prep-work for the big party ahead. The Orgasmic state is when you are One with Everything, it is everything you Ever longed for, it is when You are complete. So build on top of whatever you have in the Now, transmute it and use it to expand yourself. Transform yourself. Transmuting what you have been given is a complete state of Bliss. You Thank Yourself, and that Thankfulness Grows. You say I Love you, and the Lovelyness Grows. Its not about living a life where you are "done" with sex and you feel like its wrong, or you are living a "spiritual" life with spiritual standards. What do you think Living Life Consciously is? But an unfolding in to what you Truly are. Where do you think you are going to go? Out there? What is out there but here where you exactly are? Wherever you go, it will always be experienced right where you are. When you are living in the future, you are trying to escape yourself. You are seperating yourself. You are forming an identity. And once again, you are lost... For the past 9 months as I have been going through the process of awakening, been blasted with insights and understandings from my own experience regarding this topic. I know words are symbols and pointings, and they cant really express what direct experience feels like, but I can feel and intuit that for those of you who relate and understand what im trying to point to, there wont be the need for words, because I am you, and you are me, like lovely Leo says in his videos Also I would Love to hear your thoughts and experiences regarding this. I am open to expand my view with the rest of you (myself) (Also pardon my grammar or spelling mistakes, if there are any)
  4. Leo, could you please expand on this? Can infinite intelligence be a thing even? Or do you use the word "infinite" to refer to something outrageously big? Infinite intelligence would need an infinite ground to expand itself on (Nothingness doesn't count because there's nothing to infinitely evolve and expand into). From the point of view of anything in the Universe, infinite intelligence couldn't be a thing, at least if it's contained within it.
  5. Yes, but of course it’s a lot quieter and more vague than if I “actually” sang. It seems to be coming from the “center”, i.e. in my head. I’m not sure what you mean. How can there be something behind my FOV? But I’d say that which can not be pointed to; Nothingness/Existence. Yes, it looks like Ernst Mach’s self portrait. There’s something deeply disturbing about exploring this… I feel like I’m messing with the engine of reality.
  6. @Holygrail perhaps the closest thing to a 'how' that I've heard, is 'imagined duality'.. Nothingness/Everythingness (one-ness) pretending to be separate from itself (two-ness, Somethingness). A good example of this, is how reality 'creates' a 'self' or 'ego', through duality... by imagining a difference between 'that which is self, and that which is not self', ego arises. Conversely, ego 'vanishes' or 'ceases', when the illusion of separation is seen for what it is. (When imagined duality is transcended)
  7. We have been communicating about this since this forum exists, the issue can not be resolved with human language. Simply, when you are in coma, deep sleep or under anesthesia, who is registering reality? Something does exist, call it "consciousness" but not in the way as you think. You are this Reality, it pops up when you wake up every morning, and it contains everything, including body, room, your bed, others... But again, I am using a human language to demonstrate it. If time and space are just concepts, reality can not pop up into existence! Simply because it does not have a ground for it. Therefore, it is an illusion, hallucination. There is nothingness and actuality this reality has never happened. That would be the right direction to go but it is mind blowing.
  8. Well if I am imagining my memories it's not an active, conscious process, it just feels like I need to make the effort to retrieve something that's already there in subconscious, but that could be an illusion. The thing about the universe being created 5 secs ago, well crikey that sounds like someone with extreme alzheimers or memory loss. Creation itself is a process in time, so without time you can't have creation, or change. How do you know that reality wasn't created a billionth of a second ago, or a trillionth? The logic of this is that there are no processes, but reality is appearing out of nothingness infinitely fast, an infinite number of times per second. Or that time is an illusion and there is no creation, just a single unchanging thing. This appearance is my brain. I'm turning it round and saying there is only my brain which I can be certain of: when I 'open my eyes' what am I looking at, an external reality, or the contents of my own brain? (btw I'm not creating a distinction between brain and mind).
  9. Reality is Love, Infinite, Intelligent, Creative, Mind, Nothingness, Empty, Somethingness, Everything, Existence, Isness, Omniscient, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, perfect, Imagination, Singular, Alone, AMness,... The word God fits that very well IMO. Better than any other word. Like for example Nothingness, or Being. Using these terms it's not straightforward that for example Reality is also Love. And at deep levels of God Realization, the above description is still lacking something. It's just pure GOD. It's the perfect word.
  10. Change happens, emotions happen, dreams happen. Where people draw the line between what is real and unreal is pretty damn arbitrary... The only thing we all seem to say is certainly real is "I". Which is ironic because "I" is literal NOTHINGNESS and only known via somethingness like peering into a mirror...
  11. Literally true also, without needing to think about material survival. Nothingness cannot be experienced = no experience = "death". Total nonduality cannot be experienced, just as to see a dream you must seem to be inside the dream = no experience possible = "death".
  12. If you made progress that quickly, you are probably quite naturally talented. Your description of God is good. We however can't know whether it was only conceptual (from listening to Leo's videos) or actual awakening. It seems like actual awakening though. Ask yourself whether you have any doubts about your awakening. like: "maybe it was just a hallucination/deception from neurons in my brain". If you actually reached God, there is no doubt. Though, if you didn't have a deep God awakening, there can still be doubt. That kind of doubt doesn't mean that the awakening wasn't legit, but that you didn't go deep enough. God is Love and Consciousness and Nothingness and Infinity.... But that doesn't mean you will be highly conscious of each of these facets during every awakening. When you are more experienced yes, but not at the beginning. IMO, the most effective way to increase your baseline consciousness is through transmissions . They are also pretty effective to experience more bliss and become happier. Buy the book "greater words of power" by Damon Brand and do the ritual "the Road Opener". It's worth a try.
  13. Hi there, I would love to get feedbacks about what's happening to me now, I am a little bit confused. To give you a little bit of context, I have been doing mushrooms maybe 6-7 times, but the last two trips were very, very different, so much profound than the other ones. (Sorry if my english is not perfect, I am french). Here a sum up of my experiences: Trip 1: 1.5g of shrooms (very fresh and powerful, I grow them myself) , October 15th Tripping calmly then I accidentally looked at my hand and realized that my body is not me : I am the thing which is seeing, which is feeling. I felt like I am part of something infinite (consciousness) which has no form and is kind of still, but also moving in a certain way (going beyond with duality) Consciousness is infinitely creative and has no limits Consciousness is love, because it is profoundly inclusive. It accepts and contains everything. This love made me cry the whole trip Good and bad do not not exist at all. Everything is ok. I felt like I did not care about death anymore Trip 2 : 1.6g of shrooms, October 31st I am God, I am this consciousness, but I am also nothingness. There is this strong sense of I, but not my "ego I". I am everything, God is everything: it is the theater, the scene and the actors at the same time. There is no separation between anything. That is so weird! I am my mom (who is not really my mom), my bf, the table in my room, my room itself: everything and everyone. This is not just about sharing the same essence with things: I also AM these things. Ego is an complete illusion lol God transcends all dualities and concepts in general. Words are very limited to explain God. God is a mystery by nature, we cannot grasp it. It is a mystery to itself. God plays the game of thinking that it is something separated from other things (an ego) not because God is an asshole or crazy but because the nature of God is to explore itself in plenty of way Whatever we are doing in our life is just God exploring itself There is no time God can surprise itself God can do whatever it wants to do When someone dies, it is just God which stop thinking that it is this person I realized that I am God because I (God) allowed myself to realized it Everything is perfect because there is no perfection That's it, so here are my questions : 1 - I am very surprised by these experiences, because I have not been on the path of spirituality for a long time, I did not expected this profundity at all when I started my trips. Actually, I am listening to Leo's teachings since last January. Even if I am very into spirituality since then and am listening to spiritual content every day (plus I am genuinely attracted by truth), I feel like this happened pretty fast. Am I fooling myself somehow? In a sense I know that my experiences were not a projections of Leo's teaching, that they were real, but I also feel like it is too good to be true and when I talked about that to my bf I almost felt like a fraud. For people who realized God, what do you think about the description I gave about God in my last trip? Did you get the same experience? 2 - What is also making me feel confused is that I did not feel lots of love during my second experience and I thought that realizing God was about feeling a tremendous amount of love. I know God is love by nature there is no doubt, but I was more focusing on asking questions. What do you guys think about that? 3 - My everyday life is just like before this experience: my ego is still strong and I am still a 25yo person (I mean, I am also God and everything but you know) who is struggling to get into yellow. Right after both of these experiences I felt a bit depressed. I do not like going back to this finite form. I do not like my lack of love and my weaknesses. Do you have any advice to integrate these experiences in my "humain" life? Also, I feel kind of fucked because I did not get anything practical to improve my life, any direction (yes, I am still attached to my survival and I would love to get an experience telling me clearly what I should do with my life to be happy). But hey... I am gonna have to figure it out myself. This is not the purpose of God to tell me what I should do since it is so loving and inclusive and beyond all ego things. Ok bye! Thanks for your time if you are reading me and answering my questions
  14. I think it can be known. You can easily see and explain how and why there aren't "things" out there as things. It's quite blatant actually, since any attempt at describing a thing will always invoke either perception or abstraction (abstraction would mean like a mathematical formula). Things as literal things = infinite regress. Impossible to say what the thing IS in and of itself. Nothingness = no regress, no questions.
  15. Honestly, I don’t think it really matters whether or not it was a sign from the universe in any objective sense. If that experience was special to you and felt like it meant something, then it did, because the only one prescribing any meaning or significance to anything is You. Technically, it has no more or less meaning than anything else you experience in reality. It’s all nothingness. Even these words.
  16. This is essential: You will frame everything as being Love, as if Love was the most essential Essence, and everything else was an inferior kind of Substance that is granted to by Love. No, Redness is not just created or made of Love. Redness is Love, and Love is Redness. It is the same thing, there is no difference. The presence and essence of Redness is that which is Love. So you never discovered "Love" as an essence. Everything that ever was, was always purely that which it is. And that is what Love is. It is Being, it is Mystery. Redness is not created by anything more essential than Redness itself. Redness itself is the Creative Force, that is what Divinity is. That is what Nothingness is. Then, you realized that the entire framework of enlightenment, of spiritual seeking, it is all just one more form, one more Creation. One particulate that you seek to put above all else, One particulate you seek to ground yourself in. But this Ground is Groundless. Redness is Groundless. Your desire to Ground is survival, even your desire to ground yourself in what you deem to be most essential or Truthful. This is why when you let go of it, you will let go of "Love" and "Truth", as you realize that to deny anything whatsoever will always be Truth itself. You already did this, otherwise you would not be here, being an ant, being a chimp, being a grain of sand. Your Ignorance is your Divinity.
  17. Wow, it sounds like what she's talking about is simply a deeper layer of nothingness, what Meister Eckhart calls "the quiet desert", where the essence of consciousness is finding deeper and deeper layers of its own essence. How far you can go into that void really has no end. This is at least my guess. So from that perspective discovering the "white light" is really only the beginning, and you could explore deeper levels of its infinite manifestation or deeper levels of its infinite nothingness. Thanks for sharing
  18. Yeah haha um I guess like if we have no eyes, there is no eye to register color; if we have no ears, there's no ear to register sound. Waves, arrangements, and forms require some sort of touch, smell, sight, whatever to register. Then its like nothingness or who even knows ha. Sounds kinda sad but then there may be no mind to register emotions/feelings or it may not remember what it lost. Ahh. I have no idea. It seems nice having eyes, ears, noses, hands, legs, thoughts, etc. for the time being. If we are all one universal consciousness, then the me's that are still operating with eyes and ears will still get to keep on doing that and I guess this thing just keeps on going and evolving forever. If this reality is like the matrix then that's a whole other thing. If there are all these rabbit holes, uh I guess that's cool too. If this is all a dream within a dream within a dream, well then I guess that would be another thing too. The notion of no longer being the form as a human perspective self feels kinda like the last day of school where you had a good time and things are about to change and you feel sad that what you were experiencing is over but also curious about the future.
  19. @Breakingthewall Depends on what you mean by deactivation, if it's non-doership or nothingness/emptiness. I did both, but in day to day life it's impossible for me to maintain any state, non doership or emptiness.
  20. I have removed a lot of distractions and I finished some addictions last week. Overall I feel better, more productive and more focused + motivated to go eat life... however, I have also realized, this doesn't give me joy. It just gives me relief that if I "sort out" stuff in life, like, career and personal development the next years, I will stop suffering so much. So my motivation is completely animalistical. Fucking depresses me that I will spend maybe the next 5 years just trying to get by in life , constantly trying to sort out the stuff I lack, in what it seems an overwhelming, long, dull errand which I don't have fun. I think the only moments I do experience some relief (now that I quit my regular addiction which used to provide me with that relief) is when I meditate. Some days I concentrate and in the middle of that boring nothingness, ironically life gets really fun. It's like... duh... can't I have some joy ?? I mean I don't think that I need to be in an amusement park. I just want to feel happy and joyful doing life. Like, I could be working on my career, and not getting stressed about trying to get a job in the sector before its loo late. I could be going out , and instead of trying to be so alfa, perfect and serious, try to laugh my ass off and express with joy and exuberance each interaction with each human being that I like. But no, everything is sooo fucking serious. Everything is at stake. My suffering is at stake. Me trying to sort out my personal shit is a stake. Each is one day less I have before my ego its 100% closed and I will forever be my faulty "me". (Not my succesful me). So everything is at stake. For the ego, each day it's a race. No day has joy. Only few moments, seconds, which are of course appreciated as pure gold. It's so ridiculous
  21. @aetheroar if you have done nn dmt multiple times, i would consider doing 5 meo dmt. my experience with 5 meo resonates with what you explain. many times, in doing so, I disappear completely and there is nothing. the core of reality is absolute emptiness ... and that's it. I would not call it I am not, but neither i am . nothing, nothing empty. the ego doesn't like it, I don't know how you can get there without psychedelics. Doing it as you have done, meditating, seems to me a huge achievement. If I do it again later, or the next day, this has happened: I disappear and there is nothing, but that nothing opens, it acquires an absolutely evident quality: it is infinite. I am absolutely emptiness, but that emptiness, in its infinity, is total. absolutely total, and then that emptiness is an absolute joy. it's everything, full, and that's what I am. it is the same emptiness, the same nothingness, but it reveals itself as the infinite source through which you flow. nothing that the mind, at least mine, can even remotely understand. As this has happened with chemist, I don't understand the process that makes it possible, but I would say that the difference between emptiness and infinity is: completely accept emptiness without any reservation or expectation. annihilate yourself by becoming nothing, fully accepting your disappearance
  22. @aetheroar Just because the seperate self is gone, doesn't mean it's the end. It definitely is the end for the seperate self. But it's not the end for God. The awakening of God has only started. Now it's no longer an individual trying to wake up (because it has already died). Now it's God waking up to Itself. It has nothing to do with a seperate self anymore. The game of existence is not about dissolving the seperate self and realizing Nothingness. The game of existence is God waking up to Itself. Realizing that that Nothingness/Consciousness is God in a low state of consciousness, and the actual game can start now. The place where meditators say they reached liberation and stop, is actually the start of Gods journey, of God waking up to Itself.
  23. @aetheroar You have dissolved illusions and now all that's left is Consciousness/Nothingness? This Consciousness/Nothingness is God/Love, but not in it's pure form. For that to happen you must increase your consciousness. It is unlikely that you will get there simply by deconstructing and dissolving illusions, that's why few traditional meditators like Buddhists wake up to God. And if you get there simply through deconstructing, it will most likely only be subtle. You can realize that your current state (Consciousness/Nothingness) IS God and Love, but that is veeeeeery different from ACTUALLY BECOMING God and Love. Who becomes God? God. God is whatever is happening right now. But God is in a low state of consciousness, not very conscious of Itself. To become more conscious of Itself, to awaken to Itself, consciousness needs to increase. The easiest way is psychedelics. Next is taking psychedelics in dreams and lucid dreams. Next are transmissions, imo. The best is the Pure Divinity transmission and SAT. But others are good too. You need to get them regularly for months, till they get so strong that your whole body is buzzing from the energy, you are completely submerged in the energy, that's when it's really altering your state of consciousness. And if your baseline is high enough and you had done enough self inquiry to clear the way, then you can break through to God Infinity Love.
  24. A day about nothing Today was as lazy as a day could get. I could have done more, I had the will power and strength to do more, but all of my trying has added up and I just want to go away on a deserted island and stare at the sky and read 5 books. (I refuse to feel guilty about being lazy today...I try not to feel lazy. (future me edit: Was kinda guilty the next day tho)) Yesterday I didn't feel well and I made the unwise action of binge watching 3 hours of tiktoks last night before going to bed, and then another hour of half of a movie. (why me, why?) I don't understand those feelings/actions nor do I have the energy to figure that out at the moment - why do I simultaneously crave chaotic internet consumption + hours of silence/doing nothing away from the internet? On tiktok I started to see a bunch of Dune themed things. I'm worried that seeing that all will intrude in my thoughts as I'm reading the book or going to see the movie. Things like: Timothee Chalamet's face is shaped like a bike seat! Timothee Chalamet's facial expression in the movies looks like this sad intense puppy eyed stare the entire time! People who read Dune are pretentious af! I watched sections of Rocky Horror Picture Show on amazon prime, after seeing a tik tok interview of Tim Curry, where he was talking about how he did love his acting job but it got tiring after a while to dress up that way. (makes sense) From what I heard, he came up with his make up look himself. I remember watching it at a friends house several years ago during a lunch break (and skipping choir class?) and when I saw it, that scene I had watched previously in the movie 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' made SO much more sense. The movie is very rememberable/unique but I got tired of 2/3rds of the way through, it started to become claustrophobic-indoors-overly sexual feeling to me My favorite scene of the movie is the 'Rocky! Janet! Brad! Rocky!' scene, it's just so hilarious https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEl6564m97I Anyways...as for today: My mind felt especially fragile and worn today and too tired to think, and a lot of that simply had to do with having a headache paired with my roller coaster blood sugar numbers from the past few days. I woke up late feeling like a dying cockroach writhing on hot cement to put it dramatically My headache caused me to bury my forehead in my pillow and feel nauseous and want to sink my thoughts into cool nothingness. (But I didn't actually feel terribly bad.) And when I tried to get up to do just simple house hold chores, I'd end up just not being able to act like a regular human, and I'd just lay on the ground and not want to do anythinggg. I did more nothingness later that day. I finally got in my car and drove around for a little, drove to the store to buy chocolate, paused to think of how unmindful I was being, then drove away. Then as I drove away I thought about how pretty it was outside and that it wasn't unmindful to buy chocolate if done correctly and really it was just about the level of guilt involved and that all that mattered was how I was feeling in the moment, and I drove back and bought ingredients for chocolate strawberries anyway. The best kind of nothingness happened later today around sunset time. I saw that the family dog was very bored, so I decided to take us a walk around the hills. It was absolutely gorgeous weather out and it was windy but not too windy, and very cloudy, and I decided to go off the path and go rock hunting and I found a rock that was the exact same colors as the sky was in that moment. And I wondered how old that rock was I stared at that rock and the sky for another 10 minutes then walked some more. The clouds were dark and covered all of the sky except for the far end of the sun, where it began to look like the sky had split open and it made a pretty interesting light effect on the ground, where it was both dark and yellow looking out. And then after 10 or so minutes it suddenly became dark and the cool yellow tone light turned into an over wash of darker, flatter blue-purple light, which, looking at the more darker mountainy portion of sight made me feel oddly like I was in a Lord of the Rings film in the rockier parts of middle earth (what animals do these clouds look like?) After doing a great job of having nothing-thoughts, and my headache quickly diminishing as I walked, on my way down the lights from the town sprung up and I was soon walking in darkness and as usual I felt as if I felt more integrated in my own body and mind but in a very broad unbordered floaty way, because of how dark everything was. For a moment I thought I heard music playing (probably distant music from a house far away) and I imagined that when I turned the corner that there would be faerie lights I could follow that looked similar to the streetlamp lights I saw. Shouldnt more deserts have stories about fairy lights, not just old forests? - And I imagined the music louder, as if cellos were playing and bells and singing, and maybe there would be the slimmest chance that I would run into a weird random group of people singing and dancing in a circle in the middle of nowhere, and that would make my life a lot less boring. I got home and thought oh shit Halloween is this week and it hasn't been on my mind and I have a Halloween party to go to on Saturday. What should I wear? I searched my closet, then the storage room, and found a lot more in the storage room that I had expected, such as an actual hoop skirt and a pirate shirt and a few other stuff. A lot of costumes I recognized wearing throughout my childhood. To my disappointment I couldn't find my velvet long black skirt, which I had last year, which looked witchy enough. Instead I found a bright almost neon yellow crop top, a silvery colored wig (the only wig I have, which I ended up never using for a costume), and black starry sheer, so I might combine those along with searching for more clothing later on this week, to make some sort of starlight-faerie-witch, with a black feathered cape. My sketches of that idea turned out to be more bird like, almost knight like, maybe from the Zelda world (the bottom drawings of the page) but the top ones look more witch-like. Playing dress up was surprisingly fun because I haven't done in several years. I don't think I've actually put together a Halloween costume since I was 16 After some thinking though, I decided if I can I'm going to dress up as Sally from nightmare before Christmas. I ended up doing a bad fast fashion thing and buying a red long cheap wig off of the internet so that may or may not come in time. I thought about dressing up as the bride from Corpse Bride (I think thats what the movie is called?) because my hair is the same colors as the bride in that movie, but my face shape is round and so it matches the character of Sally much better. I have a shirt that matches her outfit really well. Either way, doing the makeup for one of those characters would be fun. Color references - the colors change dramatically in bright light vs shadowed light in the movie edit: I don't think the wig will come in time My plan #2 is the star faerie witch, I guess. If I have time to go shopping on Friday.
  25. @BipolarGrowth I remember infinite consciousness as a 7 year old child. Nothingness when I was 16. (I'm 23 now) All of the vipassana nanas and samata jhanas. Stream entry is a joke compared to the knowledges of suffering. I wish it wasn't. If you want to classify me somewhere, it would be 2nd or 3rd path. What's bringing non-doership and enlightenment to the next level has something to do with suffering outside of formal practice.