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I don't know what to tell you, I wish I had an answer. I have a picture and a song, hopefully they help. I think there are wonderful things in life, and you just have to be aware of them! Try to focus more on the good things in life, anywhere you can find it. Life is a blessing, see if you can find this everywhere around you and follow it and don't let it go. Be brave, as brave as you can. This can be hard in a world that is shaped in such a way, and people can get lost in all of it, but remember the Truth. I can't even describe it for you, but when you See it you Know, God has your back, you are not alone, there is a plan. I know what it's like, nothing works for me, either. I hoped that God would stick around in more than just my high states, but my low ones as well. But as each day passes, I find that there is indeed more beauty in this life than we would believe - when I journal or write, I go deep within and look for patterns, and with that comes a being able to See and Feel my essence, out of the physical body, and into the all-ness of it all. I think.. perhaps for both of us, the key is presence and bliss, and with that comes a lot of... sigh... meditation. Presence brings so much to the table, that is literally power. I wish people understood this more. You don't need to worry about what other people think because you are gifted with the same power of presence. With it, comes freedom from worrying about what other people think, I have seen your posts before, you seem like a really nice person - if someone bullies you they are either mean or crazy, one of two things - both which don't align with presence anyways. They would never be able to See you. You know? Judgement is falsehood... hard to remember that sometimes, I will try harder to...same for you, you worry about their falsehoods, and then create an identity from the lies people think or feel. Try presence and search for joy within yourself, align to that joy and follow it, and you then have your hook. "Don't think about all those things you fear, just be glad to be here." Feed the good wolf, feed your soul! We all deserve to feel comfortable with ourselves no matter what.

Hi It can be very different from person to person. Some people have strong kundalini symptoms and crazy kriyas, and for others it might be very subtle or they feel nothing at all. Just having kundalini symptoms also doesn't mean the kundalini is awakening for real. From what I know, stuff like vibrations and pulsating in the spine and bliss energy going up to your brain, and bliss in general, belong to the more reliable signs of actual kundalini awakening. When the kundalini is fully awake and has completed it's purification process then you might intuitively feel that the job is done. (The process probably keeps going, on ever more subtle layers, but relatively speaking, the big stuff is done.) Someone who is very psychic or a good kundalini teacher might be able to tell you where you are in the kundalini process.

Introduction #16: Misunderstanding the heart and its greatest complexities and more has by far been my greatest failing in life, but to what do we owe attention to the idea of failure in our lives? Well let me convince you for a moment that it is worth considering. To live in the moment in bliss and everything that can accompany that ecstatic experience, for the mere moment in which it exists, is sublime is it not? What about all the things that we did in our lives that took us away from this point? Let's argue for the moment that "bliss" is a desirable state in the objective sense that we should try to obtain and apply it as an analogy for states that we want to move towards vs away from, inclusive then of this work, the functioning of the heart in relation to the energy body of mind and spirit or arguably to its mirror brain and body. It is of great regret for me, let's just put aside blame for a moment, that I did not personally did not discover the value, purpose and instrumentality of the heart and its relationship to the rest of the functioning of being. It has undeniably caused me great issue with myself, my loved ones and everyone I have come into contact with in my life to the extent that my heart was not fully enlightened. Does this mean that I do not live in opposition in any respect by having an enlightened heart (to coin the term, maybe someone can google that and see if its new or not, so too an enlightened brain (let's lose the term mind for a moment)), or that any of us wouldn't? Not so far as saying that we wouldn't rebel outside the circumference of our enlightened hearts, an enlightenment that continues to grow with the experiences that we have been afforded with both physically and mentally, in our travels of body and in our travels of imagination. When I have loved someone, I have not fully understood not so much the reasons but just the feeling interface upon which this love has been projected into and out of me again for its own lifespan, by the same extent, I have not understood the intensity of my own past hates, and deficits in either are a deficit in both, arguably. There was always a hidden responsibility that for whatever reason I was never taught let's put this aside for the moment, but that I did not personally learn to fully unearth the propensities of the heart and for me this just seems quite unusual, to go so long as to not realise such an important aspect of our being and our brain included in this reference, in fact, to be positively reinforced to live in contradiction of it, seems like a disaster has occurred in my fellow social influences and myself communicating with this aspect of reality. To its opposite in fact, much was instead to the positive affirmative, the irresponsibility of the heart and the rest of our beings faculties was disproportionality favoured more than encouraged responsibility. To know our hearts in full just like to know and understand love in full, by the same measure, is the same responsibility we have to knowing our brains in full and how love can be actualised from the perspective of the endless imagination of the human brain. Little example is needed for me to convince anyone here of this truth in our society, we merely need to note down all the positive reinforcement we received in subtle ways to not learn, to drink, to spend money, to have toxic relationships and so on and so fourth, all to both the detriment of our responsibility to our brain and heart, much more, the connection that binds them together which sows the key to us forming as whole, unified and fully expressive beings. To not understand the love I have had for another and the various impulses it has brought inside of me is a mirror to any other misunderstanding I have ever had from an emotional sense with respect to not just another human but society as a whole. The heart is thus an endless gateway then for me, combined with the perception of mind, that as I shift from a state of healing to a state of growth as it concerns the heart and brain, progress can be more or less endless here as I continue to advance the way I interface with this energy which has been the intersection of decision making for all love relationships in my life, including with life itself, in the greater, most expanded and deeper sense. May my mistakes around this area now mirrored to you, be as best as possible a mirror for looking in your own life and seeing your own relationship with these faculties where in turn you can be inspired to take on a higher level of positive responsibility, and in turn, allow your life to finally begin as far as you have faulted here, as have I, in this past that lives so closely to the scars that we carry in this life, but transmute, as our understanding and wisdom grows of these forces of nature, and the great nature they can produce. To a fully enlightened heart, that continues onwards and upwards, with a fully enlightened brain and the connection between the two. To my mother, when I was a child I did not understand your rages, pains and forms quickly enough, I did not know how to sooth my wounds deeply enough. To my sister, I protected you but how could I have shown you what was most important and that was to teach you how to protect yourself as early as possible, most of all, in heart? To my brother, the amount I needed you corresponded with the amount of pain that I had in my heart, to these defined limits I wish I could have known myself better as a little boy, without instruction. What more I could have done to help you from my mother and more if I had of resolved these within myself, even though you were nearly 10 years older. To my other sister, it was my lack of early understanding that made me positively reinforce your own inner invisibility within our family network, the quiet force within you that should have grown stronger, that I could have made stronger, if earlier than 5 I had learned sooner to see what was happening in our family home and how to make it right. To my second eldest sister in our unit, how could I have seen you, heard you and known you to the fullest respect so that you did not experience the injuries that you did from life, so that you too, had strength that was designed greater than the chaos created around you? To my whole family unit growing up, what more I could have done had I recognised the importance of these faculties and aspects of being, what more I could have done to lead our family to our truest potential, by showing all of you how to guide yourselves and one another. And to my father on the perimeters, what greater compassion could I have had towards you at this young age instead of confusion, pain and a lack of acceptance? And so too for all those I loved which lived on the perimeter but that I could not reach? What more could I have achieved with you, with a full heart? I have learned all of this too late for this, I have learned all of this too late for this. It is for this I have great misery and to the flip side of this, great inspiration. It may come as irrational for one to have this kind and level of responsibility, but as your heart becomes stronger and stronger you will learn that the heart only wants to have more and more responsibility because it is always too busy bringing about creation to the rest of your being at its potential, it is all about seeing what more positive, goodness and truth can be created and so when the heart asks itself about the past, eventually the more healed and grown it becomes it asks itself, what more could I have done at the first moment of birth? It does not do this out of self-punishment or literal misery, but a true appreciation and love for the goodness and truth of life. Much love and wisdom. Exit to this Session: This loss and pain Death I have created in this life even if I have not partaken in any physical death Death to potential Death to potential It only makes sense that we live this life Life to potential Life to potential This loss and pain now, with balance and respect for the natural seasons of life Growth and Joy Growth and Joy Growth and Joy

I think everyone would enjoy infinite bliss more than life. Just depends what you compare life to.

For someone who is interested in ensuring ongoing good, it doesn't automatically mean to avoid high states. For such a person, high states are great, except for the unbiasedness. So such a person might want to attain a high state and have the love and bliss and peace, but at the same time maintain bias. That means, taking all the good (good relative to the perspective of the seperate self) from enlightenment (= love, bliss, peace, oneness) but without taking the bad (bad relative to the perspective of the seperate self) from enlightenment (= unbiasedness, dissolution of the seperate self, unrealness). So that is no longer a full complete enlightenment. But it is also no longer a full complete ego state. It is a combination. Taking the good from both, and leaving out the bad from both.

That's maybe what they'd say, but I wasn't coming from there. ( In a sense, enlightenment is further than nonduality, because while nonduality reveals there's just energy and no identity (and the seeker was the sought), there's a further deepening that reveals how that energy is still sort of a reflection of what can be revealed when the leftover perceptual filters strip away -- call it whatever; it's the infinite and infinitely efficient, beyond understanding, more logical than logic... And the way I see it, this is what Leo describes as being conscious of how you're imagining the entire reality as God. ) I understand @Consilience and what he said totally resonates. Basically what I meant is, while yes the jhanas and meditation/mindfulness are certainly valuable if not indispensable on the path (I probably was being misleading by not including the fact that it couldn't be any other way), there is an orthogonal or "backwards step" (happened with self inquiry + spiritual autolysis but not until I had done it for quite some time) that I was somehow able to avoid even while exploring jhanas with pretty good technique and even with lots of bliss in every day life. And that backwards step can open up glimpses into what's really going on, which is so intimate that it can be constantly overlooked even in the midst of very advanced practice. Maybe it isn't generally that way for everyone's path -- I can see that. I did not mean for it to come across that those practices were useless -- they were in fact crucial. In the grand scheme, there probably wasn't a single month where I wasn't "further along" by the end of the month relative to the beginning, even though in a sense there was something missing. But at least for me (again my practice could've had a subtle flaw so to speak, and actually, in a sense, in fact it did) it was possible to get really good at concentration and even mindfulness... all the while not taking what I now see to be a key step that I was somehow missing up until the point it began: Directly attending to the thought space (rather than raw sensations, as I had intuitively assumed until then was the right way -- and in a sense it was right for the time) in a discerning way, for the purpose of investigating which (and how) thoughts/fixations pull me back into illusory view, thought, and doership. Yeah, I actually managed to avoid that for quite some time! I would add that, intuitively, I think culprits may have been that I: 1. mainly just focused on jhanas and metta... and 2. didn't consult with a teacher. My practice was sort of well rounded, but in relation to how much metta and concentration practice I did, I was only really dipping my toe in what I now recognize to be at least a few of the prime movers of practice: 1. noting, 2. inquiry, and 3. in a way, "beyond practice," a very strong desire to wake up + the constant intention to break out of filtered reality and applying that passion to investigating the thought space and seeing everything discernible as a thought / thought layer / fixation / filter that creates the sense that I'm here and I'm separate from everything... or in other words clarifying enlightenment: what it actually is; how it truly isn't just another state... There's no it and yet at the same time it's an indescribably total shift in relating to experience. The process of waking up is kind of like this: you're leaving enlightenment, then once totally out, you're instantly back in again, but for real this time... Only now, instead of a separate you looking through the senses, something else is looking... and movement is absolute stillness.

Yeah you most likely won't feel something from these KAP videos. KAP usually only works if you join a live session. I mentioned the KAP videos only to convey how strong it can be for some people. In regard to? Currently my state of being is peaceful and blissful but there is also frustration. There is some surrender but there is also control. I could change my attitude and be the whole day in bliss without frustration, but that's not what I currently want. I like having some level of frustration and even some anger because that makes me more productive. Currently my priority is progress. But at some point my priority will become happiness and then I will prefer bliss and peace over frustration and anger. By subjective change and improvement.

It does account for the surrendering of doership once the insight into no self has emerged. For those who believe applying a meditation technique contradicts surrender, I would point to a lack of clarity around the dynamics of intentionality and the composition of the self activity and ignorance of the nature of impermanence. The neo advaita crowd, for example, is utterly clueless about what meditation actually is. It does not imply or need a doer, even when intentionally concentrating and cultivating states. Surrender, is in fact, already the case, always. Practically, be careful with throwing the baby out with the bath water. Intentionally practicing with deliberate techniques will eventually lead you into a state of total surrender, but usually this is only after very large amount of practice. In the meantime, enjoy the power and autonomy of intentional practice, and the happiness, bliss, and peace it provides. I would recommend just staying committed and not trying to prematurely jump to the end of the path. If you really feel like you need surrender, the do nothing technique is always an option and is extremely powerful. Make no mistake about it, intentional meditation practice starts to rival and in many ways, surpass the states available with psychedelics.

I want to order a burger. I m feeling these hunger pangs in the middle of the night And a burger does a good job. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed me sending high vibes! Picture the most amazing mouth watering burger with everything you love on it. "Cheeseburger in paradise" Breathe the idea in right through your nostrils, salvage every intake. Each new breathe brings more balance, calmness, and relaxation You are now feeling bliss-ed out

Yes, I think the most common is to merge with our sun, historically at least. However, I am not sure if they lost their individuality and became the sun or as a way to empower themselves and "ascend". According to an alternative historical theory, some of the ancient Egyptian mystery schools would have their students awaken their kundalini, cultivating bliss and then lucid dream together as a group and enter the sun. An awakened kundalini, bliss and a harmonious lifestyle will reverse the body's entropy and give it energy (cold plasma). @GreenWoods I have studied Dan Winter's teachings and they align with the information you shared here, he adds the scientific explanations for all this, he also invented an equation for how gravity works which I think will get accepted by the scientific world soon and create a bridge between science and spirituality.

Hi guys. I don't understand what's wrong. I'm a very present person, I enjoy the moment, I'm playful, positive, I'm currently travelling abroad and "following my bliss", I can do any task with zen-like attitude (or karma-yoga style, enjoying the sensations and not overthinking it), etc... But besides accepting the present and not struggling against it, going with the flow, I find it HARD to plan and organize my future. I do KNOW that I have to make plans as I don't want to be a volunteer and work for free forever and actually I have some ideas for my career, but just looking for job opportunities on the web is terribly tiring, I feel I don't care and I just want to get back to the present, deal with what's around me, doing my things... It's like I'm fucking 70. I'm 26!!! And yet I do dream about doing crazy nice things, adventures, a passionate life, meeting lots of people, commitment, work... I have nothing to work on. Some people are videomakers, some others are singers, programmers, youtubers, whatever the fuck. My special skill is being able to bond with animals quickly, wow.... Right now I'm doing horse work and I do have a great connection with them, yet I can't see myself stuck on a farm or ranch, that's boring. So you see, on one hand I want dynamism and adventure (actually top1 value on my list), but the process of looking for it throws me on the ground instead of exciting me, on the other hand I repel the idea of being stuck in one place WHILE I'm actually giving my full attention to the one place I'm at right now ! I think I need some serious wake up call as I might just be a spoiled brat that wants everything without effort ?!

Bashar main teachings is to always follow your bliss/joy/excitement, and that it's not so much about the idea that it's about following the in general most exciting zou can come up with, but what right now, this moment, is the thing that is most exciting. Maybe it's just taking a walk, having a talk, reading a book in bed.. So if web development is something enjoyable you can do now, that is very fine. I think you´re trying harder than you need to. How about being more gentle with yourself instead of trying to make life happen. Do what makes you feel well. Don´t try to steer the boat to where you think it needs to go, let go of the oars instead and see if you can feel things clicking into place more, the more you let go and relax more

Music Tastes of music can be very different but I have a hard time comprehending how music like this doesn't get you pumped up. I listen to this whenever I'm getting lazy or I need an extra boost of willpower for something, like sleep yoga. So that's the ultra spiritual music I listen to to increase my motivation for spiritual practices lol: Most of it is quite SD stage red, but it creates some serious viking warrior vibes to become ruthlessly productive. My current approach (and I think this approach is better) for sleep yoga is a lot less tough than what I've done last year for some time, when I did the sleep deprivation sweet spot approach. For that approach it was crucial to not resist suffering, because when you resist suffering during such a sleep yoga practice (like when you are sitting and holding one arm up and doing FILD while tired af) then you naturally/automatically do whatever is needed to decrease suffering and that makes you fall asleep and lose consciousness. In order to get into that mindset of not resisting suffering, that stage red music was quite helpful. (You can achieve "no resistance to suffering" with a forceful masculine warrior approach or with a feminine surrender approach). I also listen to very feminine music. Not to get pumped up but for non-dual meditation and surrender, for dissolving the ego and merging with love and bliss. Currently I'm more tapped into the masculine polarity, but I guess generally my psyche is kinda balanced with masculine and feminine energies. I think I kind of have both extremes (whereas most people tend to be more towards the middle without having either extreme), and depending on the given situation I tune into whatever energy is more effective. With masculine vs feminine I mean: active vs passive dominant vs submissive resisting vs accepting & allowing assertive vs receptive power & force vs surrender SD red & coral vs green & turquoise willful vs detached in conflict vs in flow with "what is" success vs happiness head vs heart intellect vs emotion external vs internal order vs chaos illusonary vs non-dual ego vs Infinity mind vs soul conscious vs unconscious

Releases happen on it's own. You don't need to take any drugs or any external thing in order to release. Of course containment can help, but you can release now. Ultimately these containers are there to get you to an internal place you already have access to now. So why don't you now? Releasing is very simple. Your mind will might make it seem complicated. Maybe it feels like you are broken. Learning how to release emotions is a process of learning how to feel, and then reveal what's inside through depth of feeling, and to be with your feelings with full presence and acceptance when you reveal them. It is a process of doing less. So whenever you want to do something to release, that's already a sign you are not present. There should be a daily intention, daily practice, but other than the thinking that you're going to do the practice, you should turn off your mind completely and sit with the body. Sometimes you have to sit with the body for days, weeks or even months in order for something to come out. Releasing an emotion happens when you sit long enough with your own body that it reveals on its own. And then being with the feeling fully without making it wrong, analyzing it, etc. whenever you notice an energy inside yourself that feels like you are forcing, trying, doing, wanting, having, manipulating, etc, you let go of that. You welcome it and then it lets go automatically. It's like meditation. When you notice thoughts coming up and you have this energy of frustration and should's, making the thoughts wrong, you will notice that your meditation won't be effective. It's learning to embrace those thoughts with a loving energy that makes you one with them. The same is with releasing. When you sit with your body and you have all this chaos and uncertainty, maybe thinking this doesn't work, 'I need psychedelics or ketamine', notice that and welcome it. Welcoming resistance to releasing itself is what most people have to go through in order to reveal what's underneath. Because you can never create depth of feeling if you are in your mind constantly fighting. And a thought on using psychedelics and ketamine for releasing. I have used both and then didn't help me feel my emotions at all. Ketamine is dissociative, so that's exactly the opposite what you need. And if you can't reveal/release effectively without any substance, you won't have any significant releases on psychedelics either. You can experience love and courage on them, but that's not releasing your lower emotions. It's just dissociating from them. I was in full bliss states on MDMA with people while internally, while sober, I would be anxious and shameful. And after the MDMA wore of, all those emotions were still there, although I was completely blissed out and confident on mdma. You can never release what you don't feel. So it's all about learning how to feel what's going on now and digging deeper into your experience, without forcing to. Sometimes you have to let your mind fight for a month straight and just be the observer, full acceptance of what's going on, and naturally, you will sink into your body more and more, and reveal what's going on underneath. Whenever you are in avoidance, you will never feel. Even this topic is avoidance. The thought 'I need psychedelics' or 'I need ketamine' is avoidance. Let go of everything, of doing, of thinking and your body will reveal what needs to be revealed. Literally go sit on a bench for a couple months for the whole day and see what happens. The reason most people don't feel is because society has made their analytical mind very dense, and thus it becomes harder to feel the body. Even the desire to feel the body will be explored through the analytical mind. How much are you trying to understand this? How much do you want to figure it out? Can you even let go of that and just sit with the feelings, or let the intention of letting go uncover the feelings? Your sadness is just waiting to be revealed when you sit with yourself long enough, and you give yourself a chance to sink into your body. It's like when you are holding a ball and squeeze it very hard and then learning to relax your hand so the ball can start to expand. The same is with learning to feel.

I had a non-dual experience in 2012, as a result of a Kundalini Awakening, which itself was helped along by Tantric Union with a goddess. That part is probably less important to this community, I wanted to write about the experience of non-duality itself. There are many ways to reach this state of being, Kundalini Awakening is one of them. If the serpent pierces through the Crown Chakra with sufficient force, the veil of Maya is pierced, the egg of Brahma is broken (this happens with an audible cracking sound), the "yolk" (Soma or Amrita) is released, which then suffuses the body, as a result, the soul exits the body through the Brahmarendra at the top back part of the head and an experience of non-duality can be had. This is usually referred to as union with Brahman, or Union with God, the ultimate goal of most Yogic, Tantric and non-dual systems. Then, as the soul and thus consciousness, exits the body, it finds itself in a spaceless, timeless, dimensionless void. The soul (Jiva) then realizes it is alone and it is indeed the whole universe. It then starts to expand, until it becomes universal, encompassing the whole cosmos and becoming the over-soul of the entirety of existence. It becomes boundless, omniscient and all-pervading. I cannot say, whether in this state, the Jiva is truly alone, or that it is alone in its own universe and there are many others parallel to it, where souls exist in a similar universal state, creating their own boundless universe, in essence. I tend towards the latter scenario, but I haven't seen anyone else mention it. In any case, in this non-dual state there is pure bliss and joy, freedom and a pure white light which suffuses the entire universe inhabited by the Jiva, which at that point is one with Brahman. The realisation of oneness with all becomes a certainty at this point. Whilst still in the body, flashes of realisation, about the ultimate truth of existence start entering the body, when the Mouth of Heaven, above the Brahmarendra is opened by the serpent piercing through the veil of Maya. This enters the body as light energy, which contains information about the ultimate truth, in fact the liquid light entering the body in this state (enlightenment) is in itself the carrier of the information about Truth (Sat-Chit-Ananda), the bliss and joy felt is almost unbearable. Interestingly, science has now confirmed, that the fifth state of matter, hitherto unknown to science, is made of coherent photons in a liquid state, carrying information, for instance about the quantum state of particles. However, once the Jiva exits the body, the ecstasy, joy, bliss and knowledge received grows exponentially, along with the expansion of the boundaries of the soul, to encompass the whole universe, becoming truly boundless, with no beginning and no end. In this state, nothing is unknown, nothing is unseen by the Self or hidden from it. In non-dualistic infinity, only the Self exists, it is alone in the universe and it is all. There is no happiness, joy or bliss on earth that can compare to the ecstasy of existing in this universal state. Truly, everything one has ever experienced will pale in comparison. Just pure love and surety about the order and nature of things. Some Jivas never return and stay in this state forever, becoming merged with the Brahman (Mahasamadhi), whereas some choose to return from this state for various reasons, either because they have unfinished business on earth or they decide to spread the word to others. This experience of union with Brahman and becoming universal and boundless, temporarily, but then returning to the body, is known as Nirvikalpa Samadhi. The coming back is always the hard part and getting used to living in a limited, constrained physical body is even harder. It is like being shut into a prison of flesh and blood. Only a fraction of the Infinity of knowledge can be brought back into the limited human body, but even that is usually considerably more than was available to the Jiva before. Much more can be written about this subject, but that should suffice for now, my aim is to provide a personal account of Nirvikalpa Samadhi and answer any questions that might arise.

Samadhi states, Jivanmukta and Non-duality This is an expansion and re-write of an earlier post I made on what it is like to experience Nirvikalpha Samadhi and to be in a non-dual state. The post generated a fair amount of debate and criticism, so I feel it is necessary to create a new thread that clarifies some of the issues that were brought up in one place. First, it is necessary to clarify what Samadhi is and I will do so both from my personal experience of it and by referencing traditional classifications by the likes of Patanjali. This is not a scholarly work, so no references will be provided, but they can easily be found if one is interested in further research. In traditional Yoga, there are three primary stages of Samadhi. I am using Deepak Chopra’s commentary on Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, due to its simple language and accessibility, cognizant of the fact, that he’s a new age author, but certain allowances must be made for the sake of brevity and clarity. I will add my own commentary in bold to clarify some points. “ The Yoga Sutras describe the way to regain Higher Consciousness. As you follow the Eight Limbs of Yoga, you can reach the freedom and enlightenment of Samadhi, the realization of your spiritual practices. In his illuminating text, The Yoga Sutras, the sage Patanjali introduces a systematic path to regain Higher Consciousness. This has since been called Raja Yoga or the Royal Path, a journey of techniques and lifestyle guidelines to awaken the mind to its true Self. Within the text, Patanjali provides a concentrated set of instructions known as the Eight Limbs of Yoga, culminating in a state of freedom, liberation, ecstasy, and enlightenment—Samadhi, the realization of all your spiritual practices. Meditative Absorption Patanjali explains that Samadhi is a state of meditative absorption, attained by the practice of Dharana (focused attention) and Dhyana (effortless meditation) when the True Essential Nature is known, without the distortion of the mind. It can be thought of as the culmination of your meditation process. Samadhi is the mind in its most concentrated state and can be compared to normal thought as a laser beam can be compared to normal light. The awareness of the meditator, process of meditation, and the object of your meditation have all merged into one. From knowledge, you have become knowingness. The mind in Samadhi possesses power that a normal mind does not, making it the main tool the Yogi uses to achieve the end goal of yoga—the joining of the individual self with the Universal Absolute. Be Deserving The Vedas say that everything in the Universe has awareness. Rocks, plants, animals, and humans all have awareness to a greater or lesser degree. The Vedas also state that only humans have the potential for self-awareness. Dogs, for example, don’t ask, “Who am I?” This means that every human being has the potential to become fully self-aware and reach the state of Samadhi. However, practice alone does not guarantee Samadhi. The Guru Gita says Moksha mulam, guroh kripa—the root of liberation is the Guru’s Grace. To reach Samadhi, you have to deserve it. Samadhi is beyond the normal mind and intellect, which makes describing it somewhat difficult; it can only be fully appreciated by direct experience. Samadhi has several levels of refinement through which you may ascend. “ Both authors here are referring to the act of Divine Grace which is usually expressed by Shakti “falling” on a person, much like snow or rain would fall on someone. It is bestowed by a higher power and intelligence, not always on the seemingly most deserving person. Someone might practice their whole lives and not receive it, whilst someone else with little practice or effort receives it seemingly out of the blue. Worthiness for Divine Grace still has to be proven, but she chooses capriciously as part of her “Lila” or play, sometimes just because the outrage others feel for not having been chosen instead amuses her. The character of Shakti (except in her wrathful form) is that of a small child, like a little girl in play and she tends to like those with a similarly childlike and playful character when bestowing the gift of Samadhi upon them. “Level 1: Savikalpa Samadhi This first level of Samadhi has within it four different stages. The beginning stages of Savikalpa Samadhi are where, during meditation, you transcend all mental activity. Patanjali says that, for a short period of time, you lose all human consciousness. In this state, the concepts of time and space are altogether different. For a minute, an hour, or more you are in another world. Now you see that practically everything happens spontaneously—you have nothing to do. Thoughts and ideas do not affect you. You remain undisturbed, and your inner being functions in a dynamic and confident manner. However, this is not yet a permanent state and everybody has to return to ordinary consciousness. As you begin to integrate this undisturbed state of silence along with the disturbed states of waking, dreaming and sleeping, Patanjali describes the four stages of Savikalpa Samadhi that are possible. “ This type of Samadhi is not necessarily preceded by a meditative state. When one dwells in Savikalpa Samadhi in a waking state, curious time dilation effects can be observed. For instance, when enjoying tasty food or listening to pleasing music, time within the personal bubble of the observer can slow down to such an extent that the outside world speeds up compared to it. The outside world also falls away, becomes fuzzy and unreal, like a projection on a screen. “ Stage 1. Sarvitarka Samadhi: Here the mind totally focuses on the gross aspect of a physical object. This is described as “examination” or learning the “inner secrets” of the object. In this stage, every aspect of the object is understood and you gain full knowledge of the physical object. Stage 2. Savichara Samadhi: Now the mind moves beyond the outer layers of the object and the subtle aspects of objects (tanmatras) are contemplated or “discerned.” The abstract qualities such as rednesses, beauty, love or the sound, texture, form, flavor, etc. of the object begin to be understood. Stage 3. Sa-ananda Samadhi: Here the mind is devoid of the objective world, you move beyond the intellect. There is no reasoning or reflection, just the tranquility of the settled mind. The sattvic (pure) mind is only aware of its own joy. The focus is on the inner powers of perception and within the mind itself. It’s known as a “blissful” Samadhi filled with joyful peace. Stage 4. Sa-Asmita Samadhi: Now even the bliss has gone and you are just here. Only the satvic (pure) ego, the I-ness remains, the I AM. Simple awareness of individuality—you are here and aware of nothing else. This is the ego-sense in its elemental form. No fear, no desire. This Samadhi can be likened to what is known in the Shankara Tradition as Cosmic Consciousness. The mind becomes fully Awake, it is a state of witnessing of the material world and you become aware of the Divinity (Bliss) within yourself. “ In the Kundalini tradition the stages described above are not necessary to enter a state of Samadhi. The object one concentrates on is one’s inner world and it is the rising of Shakti from one chakra to the next that induces the successive stages of this Samadhi state. Up to the heart chakra, one still dwells in the physical world, from the heart upwards until the crown, one enters pure mental states and once the Cosmic Egg or Hiranyagarbha is cracked in the space above the head, by the force of Kundalini Shakti rising, the various bodies (physical, mental, causal, etc...) are flooded with spiritual light and the light body is activated. It is at this point that the Jiva enters the second stage of Samadhi. “ In Savikalpa Samadhi, the samskaras (latent tendencies or past impressions which condition your life and desires) have not been dissolved. They still remain in seed form. The Great Indian Saint, Ramana Maharshi, described Savikalpa Samadhi as "holding on to reality with effort.” In this Samadhi, the concentrated mind can begin to access some of the “lesser” yogic powers (Siddhis). However, because the ego is still present, you must be careful how you choose to use these powers. If you use them with a pure motive, you can greatly serve humanity and will progress on your spiritual journey with humility. If you choose to use them for personal greed and ambition, you may cause harm and stall your spiritual progress. “ The background to why Siddhis manifest at this stage can also be understood in light of the path Kundalini takes. The broken cosmic egg releases yolk (amrita or soma), which provides illumination. There is also a permanent opening that is created by the force of Shakti breaking through the top back part of the skull just above the area known as Brahmarendra (the cavity of God), which is colloquially known as the Mouth of Heaven. This mouth drinks of the Soma, food of the gods, therefore activating the light body, in a similar manner to how devas (gods, angels, etc…) possess a shining body made of light (the meaning of Deva is Shining One). Drinking Soma can bestow certain powers of illumination, such as clear sight (clairvoyance), clear hearing (clairaudience), free-flowing spiritual wisdom and inspiration, but the main effect seems to be the ability to interact with beings of light (again, Devas) and to visit other realms that may be of a higher-dimensional nature compared to our own reality. This usually happens in lucid dreams and many visions can be had even in waking consciousness, depending on the sensitivity and receptivity of the person. “ Level 2: Nirvikalpa Samadhi Nirvikalpa Samadhi is a higher state of awareness where the ego and samskaras have been dissolved and only Consciousness remains. Patanjali says the material world has become like a shadow from which you are completely free. In Nirvikalpa Samadhi there is no mind as you know it—there is only infinite peace and bliss. Here nature's dance stops, and the knower and the known become one. Here you enjoy a supremely divine, all-pervading, self-amorous ecstasy. You become the object of enjoyment, the enjoyer, and the enjoyment itself. Now the heart is fully awake. In Nirvikalpa Samadhi, the first thing you feel is that your heart is larger than the universe itself. The universe appears as a tiny dot inside your vast heart. Here, there is infinite bliss and infinite power. You not only feel bliss, but actually become bliss. This Samadhi is similar to the Divine Consciousness described in the Shankara Tradition, a state of deep love for the world and everything in it, recognizing the Divinity in everything. It is entering a celestial realm. You experience Ritambhara Pragya, where your thoughts spontaneously manifest into reality. The past and future are blended into the eternal present. Everything is now. Everything is here. Time and space have been transcended. The exulted blissful state may last for a few hours or a few days. Initially there is no wish to return from this state and it is said that if one stays at this level for 21 days, there is every possibility that the soul will leave the body for good. However, through continued practice, you are able to come down from Nirvikalpa Samadhi and immediately function normally in the world. Both Savikalpa and Nirvikalpa Samadhis are considered temporary states in that you can only fully experience them by withdrawing from normal life. Even the Great Enlightened Yogis close their eyes to meditate. However, the Yogi’s “normal” life is not as most people experience it. A Yogi is living a life fully supported by the Unbounded Field of Infinite Possibilities. Imagine the whole of manifest creation is touching the front of your body and the unmanifest, Pure Awareness is touching your back. You lean forward and you are in the localized world but the non-local is fully there, supporting your every breath. To quote Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, “It’s living 200 percent of life.” “ Although perhaps somewhat exaggerated, that is a pretty good description of the Nirvikalpa Samadhi state. I provide a more detailed description of this state later on. The important takeaway here is that this is a temporary state, meant to give the seeker a glimpse into the absolute and to create an even stronger longing to return to one’s natural, unitive and non-dual state. The material world falls away, along with the physical body because duality ceases and infinity in its many forms takes its place. Infinite perception, wisdom, joy, love, bliss, etc… becomes the prime experience of the Self. One is omnipotent and omniscient, because the Self is the universe and pervades its every atom. “ Level 3: Dharmamegha Samadhi An even higher level of Samadhi is Dharmamegha or the “Cloud of Virtue” Samadhi. Patanjali says that this level arises when you have lost even the desire to know God or to be Enlightened. This Samadhi cannot be gained by effort, it reveals itself when all effort has dissolved. It is a Divine Gift, beyond notions of Absolute and relative. When even the temptations of the Yogic Powers cause no distraction, it is said that Pure Knowledge showers down like a Cloud of Virtue, bringing liberation and the Bliss of the Divine. This is Jivanmukta—liberation while still in a physical body. The afflictions of all karmas have been removed, the Yogi becomes ever free and shines in his or her own glory. It is said that in this state, the Yogi sees without eyes, tastes without tongue, hears without ears, smells without nose, and touches without skin. His/her mere intention can work miracles. The Yogi simply wills and everything comes into being. “ This is the classical description that can be applied to many famous Yogis, Rishis and Saints. They constantly dwell in a Samadhi state rather than being in it temporarily and the flow of wisdom from Heaven is unceasing. In various traditions such people are known as Jivanmukta, Tirtankhara, Boddhisattva or simply as saints. Such people are usually depicted with a halo around their head to indicate their permanent illumination. From the Kundalini tradition’s point of view, a Jivanmukta is someone in whom the Serpent’ head is permanently lodged in the crown, an unceasing flow of Soma / Amrita feeds their illumination providing them with wisdom and manifesting siddhis spontaneously, without effort. “ Sahaja Samadhi Some contemporary saints such as Ramana Maharshi have also talked about Sahaja Samadhi. This Samadhi could probably be placed between Nirvikalpa and Dharmamega Samadhis. It is where the inner silence is maintained along with normal daily activities. It is being able to maintain the experience of Nirvakalpa Samadhi at all times. Here you radiate Divine Illumination, the Divine is perfectly manifesting through you at every second. You are filled with Divine Grace. It can, perhaps, be likened to the Unity Consciousness of the Shankara Tradition. With Samadhi as your goal, you should be regular with your spiritual practices, enjoy the blessings that each day brings, and know that everything will be revealed at the right moment. “ Another famous contemporary Yogi who writes about this is Paramahamsa Yogananda. In his autobiography he mentions many instances of lucky happenstance where things fall into place as they should. Most of us experience something similar for short periods during our lives, when things just go our way and doors open up for us at every turn, things are seemingly arranged in a way that we have to make no effort to achieve goals, come across the right people, find the correct information. It is essentially an expression of being in harmony with the universe, or more precisely, in tune with Shakti, since she is the weaver of the space time illusory construct also known as Maya. When being attuned to Shakti, things just happen as they should, without effort and life is filled with synchronicities and happy accidents. In Sahaja Samadhi, this attunement to Shakti is constantly maintained and one’s mind becomes part of the shared universal mind. Once we’ve clarified the various stages of Samadhi, I’d like to move on to my personal account of how these stages manifested for me and what I can report on them from my own experience, which I find is always the most valuable form of testimony. My full Samadhi experience occurred in December of 2012, brought on by my own Kundalini awakening, in itself a gift of Divine Grace. A form of Shakti, in the form of a Goddess, bestowed the gift of a full Kundalini Awakening and with it the experience of Nirvikalpa Samadhi on me. There are multiple ways to reach this state of being, Kundalini Awakening is one of them. If the serpent known as Kundalini Shakti pierces through the Crown Chakra (Sahasrara) with sufficient force, the veil of Maya is pierced, the egg of Brahma (also known as the Cosmic Egg or Hiranyagarbha) is broken (this happens with an audible cracking sound), the "yolk" (Soma or Amrita) is released, which then suffuses the body, as a result, the soul exits the body through the Brahmarendra (the cavity of God) at the top back part of the head and an experience of non-duality can be had. This is usually referred to as union with Brahman, or Union with God, the ultimate goal of most Yogic, Tantric and non-dual systems. Then, as the soul and thus consciousness, exits the body, it finds itself in a spaceless, timeless, dimensionless void. The soul (Jiva) then realizes it is alone and it is indeed the whole universe. It then starts to expand, until it becomes universal, encompassing the whole cosmos and becoming the over-soul of the entirety of existence. It becomes boundless, omniscient and all-pervading. I cannot say, whether in this state, the Jiva-Atman is truly alone, or that it is alone in its own universe and there are many others parallel to it, where souls exist in a similar universal state, creating their own boundless universe, in essence. I tend towards the latter scenario, but I haven't seen anyone else mention it. In any case, in this non-dual state there is pure bliss and joy, freedom and a pure white light which suffuses the entire universe inhabited by the Jiva, which at that point is one with Brahman. The realisation of oneness with all becomes a certainty at this point. Whilst still in the body, flashes of realisation, about the ultimate truth of existence start entering the body, when the Mouth of Heaven, above the Brahmarendra (cavity of God) is opened by the serpent piercing through the veil of Maya. This enters the body as light energy, which contains information about the ultimate truth, in fact the liquid light entering the body in this state (enlightenment) is in itself the carrier of the information about Truth (Sat-Chit-Ananda), the bliss and joy felt is almost unbearable. Interestingly, science has now confirmed, that the fifth state of matter, hitherto unknown to science, is made of coherent photons in a liquid state, carrying information, for instance about the quantum state of particles. However, once the Jiva exits the body, the ecstasy, joy, bliss and knowledge received grows exponentially, along with the expansion of the boundaries of the soul, to encompass the whole universe, becoming truly boundless, with no beginning and no end. In this state, nothing is unknown, nothing is unseen by the Self or hidden from it. In non-dualistic infinity, only the Self exists, it is alone in the universe and it is all. There is no happiness, joy or bliss on earth that can compare to the ecstasy of existing in this universal state. Truly, everything one has ever experienced will pale in comparison. Just pure love and surety about the order and nature of things. Some Jivas never return and stay in this state forever, becoming merged with the Brahman (Mahasamadhi), whereas some choose to return from this state for various reasons, either because they have unfinished business on earth or they decide to spread the word to others. This experience of union with Brahman and becoming universal and boundless, temporarily, but then returning to the body, is known as Nirvikalpa Samadhi. The coming back is always the hard part and getting used to living in a limited, constrained physical body is even harder. It is like being shut into a prison of flesh and blood. Only a fraction of the Infinity of knowledge can be brought back into the limited human body, but even that is usually considerably more than was available to the Jiva before. Here I must write about the various forms of consciousness available to the Jiva in the Samadhi state. At lower levels of Samadhi, individuality is still the default state of the soul, in Nirvikalpa Samadhi the ego merges into the oversoul, also known as Paramatman and ultimately Brahman. If it wishes, the soul can then return to individual consciousness and it is thought this is the case when it feels compassion for those that have not yet experienced, or even know about this state of being, it will return to teach others and spread the word. In my experience, deities / devas and other perfected souls rest in the Paramatman and exist as a collective consciousness. Then, if a task requires it, or it is needed for play (Lila), the consciousness of such a higher being will temporarily separate from the collective and individuate in a form most pleasing to a devotee. When such a perfected being incarnates in the flesh, we call that an Avatar. The collective consciousness of Paramatman is best conceived as a continuum, with individual “Atmans” linked up with each other in a sea of consciousness. Similar ideas are often depicted in science fiction, such as the Q Continuum or the Great Link of the Star Trek franchise. Individual Selves can separate from the collective whenever they please, usually because they have a task to perform, linked to their own area of specialisation, so in that sense, their individuality is never truly lost, rather it is added to the collective to create greater whole and enrich it. It could be said that the whole point of Brahman individuating and manifesting reality in repeated cycles of creation and destruction, each lasting billions of years, is to experience individuality and the various flavours of the Self that are created this way, only for them to merge back into Brahman (to great collective rejoicing) at the end of each cycle, or if a soul reaches Mahasamadhi, even earlier. I would also like to address some of the points brought up by others in my earlier post. Some have pointed out, that a Soul that has experienced Nirvakalpa Samadhi would never use the first person singular pronoun (I have yet to master using the royal plural J ) that they would have no ego, because it has dissolved into Brahman and that in any case, only very rare cases of famous gurus would ever achieve that stage of Samadhi, that Kundalini Awakening is incredibly rare, that you would have to be an Avatar or a Jivanmukta to experience such states, etc… I hope this follow-up post clarifies why this is not the case. Kundalini experiences, of various forms and stages are increasingly common, Samadhi states can be had without any prior knowledge of Yoga or Meditation, as a result of Divine Grace and are commonly reported for instance in charismatic Christian congregations, where the Holy Spirit or Shekinah takes up the role of Shakti in being responsible for various mystical experiences. There is also the importance of the maturity of the soul, it is through many lifetimes that a soul becomes ready to experience Samadhi and in this sense I find Michael Newton’s classification of souls being in various states of maturity, from young and infant soul all the way to old and elder soul, most illuminating. Finally, I would like to share my personal experience regarding the highest form of Samadhi, Dharmamegha Samadhi or Jivanmukta and try to speculate regarding its nature and who would be most suitable to dwell in it. According to Gopi Krishna, a pioneer among modern writers on the topic of Kundalini, Jivanmukta is achieved by a Kundalini awakened person if they manage to keep the Serpent lodged in the crown for three days and nights, after which it will not descend again and a permanent enlightenment is achieved. The Jivanmukta’s whole being is suffused with light and they see everything around them reflecting back their own inner light, covered in a bright, white sheen. Such people dwell in Brahman whilst walking in a human body, spontaneously manifest various kriyas, without effort and are in fact constant reminders of the divine absolute to all those who have yet to awaken to self. A few years ago, during the summer solstice, when I was particularly close to the form of the Goddess who originally gave Shaktipat to me, I experienced a continuous Kundalini activation and a Samadhi state whilst being in my body and going about my daily life (I was between jobs and did not have to show up for work, which was not only fortuitous, but probably so arranged for this very purpose, to aid my spiritual development). I was in constant communication with the Goddess and the various gods that dwell in Brahman collectively. My crown shined like a sun, and next to me, was another sun, a constant presence of the goddess as through our consciousnesses merging, I could experience the collective consciousness of Heaven and hear the beautiful, chorus-like voice of this collective harmony of individuals as one. Many profound messages were passed to me during this time and I really felt like I was part of the collective mind of God. This, I realise is very esoteric and very hard to appreciate unless you have experienced it yourself, but it is accompanied by the most profound sense of Joy, Bliss and Being Loved, a lowly human can ever experience. This may enrage some, but the gods are so much greater than us, they simply dwell at a much higher stage of spiritual development than we do, though we know from the scriptures that humans have the potential to reach the same lofty heights and in fact even go beyond that, by completely merging back into the Brahman, or the Buddhists have their own ideas about how human souls can surpass the gods, whom they often see as still part of the illusion of Maya. Whatever the case, it is but a minor detail, the important part is the human soul’s potential to reach perfection, self-realization and Union, whether that is done with the assistance and belief in deities, or agnostically, with a pure focus on the Self. So, have I achieved Jivanmukta? No. Ultimately, I fell short. If I recall, during this period of three days and two nights (rather than the requisite three days and three nights) I barely slept at all and was constantly absorbed in a state of Samadhi with the brightness, which persisted with my eyes closed, making it impossible to fall asleep for any length of time. During that time a I developed an insuppressible inner compulsion to help others and pass on messages of good news from heavenly realms. I also sought out people (mostly online) that seemed in need of help and could not stop myself from offering healing and assistance to all and sundry, which ultimately got me into trouble. Nevertheless, it gave me a glimpse into the selflessness and incredible compulsion to help others, that drive higher beings, whether they be devas, other heavenly beings or Jivanmuktas in the flesh, here on earth. When in a state of being absorbed in Samadhi, compassion and love are the only possible emotions and one is by definition, selfless. One simply cannot help oneself and will be driven to constantly strive to help others and better the world. If siddhis manifest, it is because the Jiva (individual soul) in this case is part of a greater whole and can command the knowledge, wisdom and compassionate motive power of the whole. One Jiva is nothing. Jivanmukta is everything. Some may wonder, whether I will achieve Jivanmukta in this life. I don’t know, but it’s not up to me. These things are decided well before we are born. Either it will happen, or it won’t ultimately it makes no difference to me, I will still be the same “Self” whether as part of the greater Overself collective consciousness, or acting individually, it will be in service of humanity and the greater collective agenda of divine beings. I realise that a lot of what I wrote may seem incredible and will trigger many to lash out in disbelief and indignation, as has happened in the comment section of the previous post. Believe me, I know. I used to be a hard-nosed sceptic myself and pretty much a materialist atheist, before the very briefly described experiences started happening to me. It took me a long time, many years, to accept their reality and put them in the proper context. I should also point out, that I am not a Hindu, Indian, or follower of any tradition or school. My experiences came about because they were meant to happen, they were pre-ordained well before I was born and every event in my life lead up to them. I simply use the language of eastern traditions to make sense of my own experiences, due to the lack of other traditions having the sufficient linguistic tools to describe them. There is also a lot I had to leave out as this post is long enough as it is. If you have been, thanks for reading.

Intro #3 (main part of above quote used in intro one time only): It is clear to me that the heart is an opening to alternate dimensions and timelines of possible being. It is not mere illusion nor is it mere coincidence that man’s best inventions come from his intuition, nor should it be considered a peculiarity that it is a window to the deepest truths of the universe and that this window and seed to his eternal life, is his heart. It is from this place of truth that I speak and it writes into me, turning what was painful ice into a diamond of light. I experienced a moment where I was revealed the truth of an aspect alternate being, in light of my attempts to align as I have suggested in the previous two introductions, my being has shown me the force of nature that had been reckoned upon us all that being the power of the heart to reveal to us alternate lives. Because of the pressure that I placed on the heart, the universes intuitive self through the heart showed me in a flash of a split second what alternate lives I could have had if my heart were properly nurtured and grown compared to its opposite and therefore worse than my present predicament. It reveals to me a necessary awakening of latent empathy across the hairs for all humans, and it is to understanding that we can feel confident to share this empathy with others. It has been such that where I have not understood a situation, I have like most humans do, refrained from using my empathy, outside of course using it when I have believed by best approximation understanding was there and have used it for both the means that have served positive and negative ends, for the latter, whether I have been unwise or wise in this expression relative to my present development, a desire for some good regardless. It is clear then, that we’re not merely talking about the healthy functioning of being when we refer to the strength of the signal and connection between the heart and the brain as well as unto the heart itself and everything within it. We are also through this, turning a key in the lock of consciousness, allowing us to purview into its greater secrets and more, build a bridge to them and what insight the universe wants to send through that bridge back to us. Given the infancy of this endeavour, I am undoubtedly only at the cusp of this potential, the use of the word potential here being so frail right now compared to what will inevitably unfold beyond the imagination of a hurricane of continuous insight that I am at present due to my inexperience limited at seeing and describing. The world is a hidden bliss, and it lives nessled beneath the covering of our hearts that hides us from the beauties of reality. Session: A fitting song for the dread and everything else accompanying, including, what now lives beyond it. No more black arrows can sting me, everything falls away into the unseen as it truly was to the truth of the heart. All abrasions, injuries through the delusions of the mind for which the heart cannot entertain when in full motion. This of course, goes against the negative conditioning forces of the world. The pain my mother tried to inflict. The pain my father tried to inflict. The pain my siblings tried to inflict. The pain my teachers tried to inflict. And too, the pain I tried to inflict. We all relied on the lack of wholeness in one another’s hearts in order for penetrations into our minds propensity towards delusions to be successful. We rely on so much of our weak defenses in one another’s hearts to make our weapons against the many weaknesses of the mind come into effect that without a weakened heart those attacks on the mind all things being equal would be rendered useless. The mind is an inaccurate organ with many weaknesses more than its strengths, something that has evolved after the further evolution of the heart. To any awakening of the word then, it does not come from general knowledge alone but of the knowledge on how to make the heart whole so that the mind is free from its burdens. I am right now in this moment provided with the extremely vivid picturing of my 8th grade geography teacher. I felt his authoritarian tone underneath his breath and I can be sure that such a tone had left a negative mark on me by this time as it was often met with quiet fear and shame underneath the surface as if I were attempting to have a conversation with my father that would never last longer than his desire for comfort and dictatorial authoritarianism designed to subtly belittle, mock, be dismissive or if there was anything positive, to be solely an unrelenting ear to his unempathic wise. I do not hate my father, I see him for the elderly man he is for both his strengths and weaknesses, but I speak from the impressions that he left on his son at a young age, this is the fortitude of these writings here, to speak purely from the truth of the expression as it arises. As I see my geography teachers face now I project my father onto him and I feel the same sense of fear and shame that I had then right now. I sit through the emotions and feel them whole non judgementally. Holding stern to the wise of allowing the heart to learn what it needs to learn completely from the experience.

Blue Indians will still be less happy because their minds are distorted by dogma, ideology, nationalism, moralization, judgment, etc. It's not just a function of having material resources. The Blue mind is swimming in falsehood and self-deception. Then again, conformity and dogma can yield a sort of bliss of ignorance. At least for a time. There is a sort of happiness you can have by being a Nazi, a terrorist, or a religious fanatic who is fully committed to his depraved mission. Happiness is a very individualized thing. Don't generalize about it too much. There can be huge variability in happiness within any group of people regardless of their development level or even spiritual work. You can have a terrorist who is happier than a Buddhist monk. You can't just assume someone is happy because they fit into some group or category.

"Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." It seems as though, there is something to be said about this. Our society is built in such an unusual way. A way that allows those with very little compassion and insight, to be the facilitators of change. That change, often leading and driven by a very limited type of selfishness. And for those that have some type of passion to create a society that would allow more equality of abundance, seem to often acquiesce to the pressures that these facilitators demand of them. In this manner, the devil is quite persuasive. Not to bring up Jesus again, but he too had that very choice of being corrupted like this and chose not to. As did the Buddha! That is the choice, I trust you all make as well if you ever arrive in such a position. Conscious folks make wealth only to meet their need, not their greed. But, when it comes to selling our soul, we have to make the utmost effort not to concede to a lower consciousness, if ever given the choice. For some mystics, it seems rather admirable that they did not even touch money at all. While, this is of course, is not necessary for anyone to obtain a higher consciousness, they did so— as an example of the value and bliss of God over anything material.

Your truth is your truth, and its beautiful, always, and deserves the understanding and validation it needs until you're ready to move on and continue your journey of learning. But what I'm learning is that we should try not to make our truth somebody else truth, because we think we know them. That's why I believe people in this world are so angry, tired, aggravated, defensive, and mean. People are tired of other people deciding what's true, right and wrong, for someone else. So then they do it to others to get back at them, and get the energy out of themselves, but then they become the new perceived mean ones, rather than victims of this, and then its a new cycle. I can already see so much joy and bliss from just giving people space and allowing them to think for themselves, decide for themselves, figure out for themselves what works, and allowing that for each other in a respectful manner : ) "You're doing it wrong" - God ; )

I felt joy without any reason for about an hour today. I had these joy moments before, but it was rear and did not last long. This feeling is familiar to me. Joy of being without this monkey mind that determines, separates, and judges all the time. I have recognized recently that there is no separation truly, and every time mind wanted to make any assumption, I stopped it there. My main practice was in keeping awareness on itself all the time. I am constantly observing thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, but I do not get involved. This is my meditation, LOL. This state has become so natural to me that now I feel like my body does things on its own, I actually am observing my body in motion and various processes, and I do not make any volition, it does things on its own. Guys, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever experienced: mind is always late, first body does something, then comes the registration of the fact, post factum. As I cook dinner even right now, I do not register “Oh, I need to reduce the heat of my boiling water” Body goes to the kitchen, and as I get up from the chair, registration of the fact happens afterwards. There is literally no “doer”. Thought is always late. First motion. Also, I have this love and compassion toward "other". My sexuality is on the rise, even a coffee table seems sexy to me. But even this feeling is a bit heavy compared to the bliss I have experienced. This feeling of blissfulness comes sporadically, does not last long. I am just happy because I am conscious. The closest description would be pleasure, orgasm, deliciousness, peace, joy and unconditional love toward Being. Guys, I used a lot of “I”, please do not be judgmental here, I realize that awareness does not have any individualized quality, but I am using this “I” for a purpose of understanding. I can not pin point this “I” anymore, everything became like a big movie on the screen and is seen now holistically.

Perhaps keep in mind that all existential questions ultimately aren't real questions, but veiled declarations. For example: Why is there something rather than nothing? The question essentially assumes there is a real difference between something and nothing. "Your experience" is reality as it is, appearing as it isn't. Endlessly pondering these questions is not what actually answers them. Even meditation itself can be mere bliss-consumption and not conducive to answers. Keep staying where the rubber meets the road, once you find that -- perhaps via meditation, then investigation (or noting) meditation, then inquiry into what you know absolutely for sure / how you might actually not know what you thought you knew for sure. Any awakening that happened in the past, and isn't here now, can be said to be incomplete. Let's define "an awakening" just to be sure what we mean here. An awakening = an irreversible shift in perception, on the level of identity (what you take yourself to be). The true nature of your self, and the cosmos, is exactly synonymous.

I have not thought of it as a permanent enlightenment at all, but rather as an interesting state of bliss. It was magical, I want to be back there again

I agree, it was just a bliss

Everything feels perfect. There is no resistance, however things can feel annoying, boring, etc, but there is no resistance to it and it doesn't feel like a problem so it still feels perfect. A very stable happiness, and lots of joy and bliss. Less fear. My relationships are good, no problems. I have more interest in living, being a human, I am life, I am light, I want to live and follow my true purpose which comes from the soul, sometimes it feels blissful to say something, to touch things, to walk or sit down, normal everyday things like that are amazing. Following my intuition is the most important thing.