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  1. Tier 2 transcends and includes all of the Tier 1 stages. Survival is a prerequisite for existing in a finite human form. When you cease surviving, you no longer have a spiral dynamics stage, you simply merge into Nothingness/Infinity
  2. Yesterday I had a LSD trip, roughly 150ug. I've done around 15 trips in the past and this one has been by far the most profound experience I have had. The come up was quite nice, relaxing and I felt my consciousness level rising. I slowly became more and more aware with each hour, I felt present and I felt free. Yet, there was this lingering thought: there's something I can't quite grasp. What is it? Who Am I? I had this thought in my head like some puzzle, trying to figure out, like one simple question: WHO AM I? Would solve all my problems. And then I sat down, crossed my legs, and began meditating. In an instant, I felt absorbed in the nothingness, "I" was there, but "I" was also everywhere. I could feel my body, but I could also feel like I am the whole room. The sounds around me became extremely clear and I could hear every single voice or movement around me. And then this sudden feeling of pure freedom arose. I was completely empty, I was no one. My mind was completely free, I felt purified. I felt like I have finally awoken. For the next time period (very hard to grasp time on LSD) I was just laying there, crying and laughing. It was all so simple. It was all so pure. Pure beauty everywhere. I also felt energy pulsating through my whole body, shaking in random body parts of mine. The remainder of my trip was quite nice, I went outside, and It was hard for me to grasp this "new" reality I am in. Everything was just so vibrant, so alive, in completely different colors. I was sure I had my first enlightement experience, but I am afraid to put some sort of label on it and then "fool myself". I read that once you have your enlightenment experience, there's no way to mistake it for something else. Yet my ego is now backlashing hard and telling me, that it's all just fake and I am simply coming down. So which one is it?
  3. After 500-1000 ketamine experiences, in light of Leos last blog, here are some messages over the years I had written down after my trips, maybe they resonate with you: Ethereal fabric substance of nothingness creating somethingness, thisness, as this out of an infinite number of infinite choices is the only thing worth creating, every moment is infinitely precious Pulling away reality piece by piece: as you pulled away the last piece, you will realize reality was telling you the same message every single time you pulled away the piece, but it took until there were no more pieces left, for you to finally confront the message God is the only possible author that wrote the only script that could be possibly written, by the only protagonist that could only ever had been cast, expressed infinitesimally precise in the only way it could have been told; by you As you come to understand, youll begin to understand theres only you that could possibly understand it Reality is so complex, no matter how much you understand, you are always infinitely far from understand its complexity, until you do understand, and in that moment there was never anything to understand
  4. the suffering is not that bad. it is a small price to bring together the work of art, the perfect tapestry. the wonder of the matter, its intricate genius, goes far beyond what a human mind can grasp. out of empty nothingness arises a dance that starts out simple and blends into this explosion of unimaginable beauty and genius that it is right now. God himself marvels at the wonder of his genius. each of your thoughts is sublime art. every breath, every blade of grass, every exhaust pipe spewing shit, every industrial pig slaughterhouse. hallelujah to the glory of existence. Perfect, bright , glorious, overflowing with pure love
  5. @Galyna Well it is not, the means by which we represent them are constructs, but they are definitely not constructs themselves. I have argued this extensively in a post titled "most things are imagined". There are things that may come and go when other things remains, and are also a combination of various things taken into one identity, only such things I call constructs. Not only is both Time and Space there always when something else in particular, say a sound, touch or a thought is had but there latter things are contingent on the former. Time and Space is of the mind, and ever present given the presence of something particular in mind, these are often called appearances. We who are conscious are not seeing how we are created, necessarily, for then nothing could take in its output. I am sure this will not be accepted easily, but it is obvious. If we could see that we were created then we would be whatever created us, or whatever of which we are composed, if we are at all created and if we are at all composed. Nothingness is a construct however, and this construct is definitely important for anything to make sense. It has a better term, "negation". It is not actually nothing, instead it is the imagination of a thing and the unimaginative of the same thing, which is what negation means. You may also argue retrospectively that nothing is the absence of an appearance or a magnitude in consciousness, but this is what I call emptiness and actually not at all nothing.
  6. Everything doesn't arise from nothing. Everything IS Nothing. Now, you can awaken to different facets at a different times. You can realize Nothingness but then realize Nothing and Everything are identical in different awakenings. But this is still enlightenment and it is not a process. Awakening/enlightenment is a state of Infinite Consciousness which is not limited to a logical system or process - it is direct.
  7. @Inliytened1 What? Ofc not. I am nothing, Literally. I do not get phenomenon how from this nothingness arises everything. Awakening is a process when you can find that "space" a "silent observer", yes. I found it many years ago. Is it enlightenment, ofc not.
  8. I would say that time and space is a mental construct, yes, quality of consciousness to reflect upon itself. Who are you calling "we"? Isn't nothingness serves as a "ground" for everything?
  9. @Galyna We think that it created us because we can impose our pure empty awareness into memories of our past, this is the reason we identify with who we were in our representation of the past in memory. The idea that we were created prior to our presence (now) is not made merely out of the parts which comprises this idea at presence, if that composition of elements were enough then we could push ourself back to some initial condition out of which we were created, to return at will at any moment. That these elements are not enough to create us does not mean they were not essential for us to be created, we are retrospectively analyzing the idea of our house, our family, our friends, (the empirical condition for these things, touch, smell, sight) our sensibility of shape, space etc. In doing this we see subsistent and essential elements of our existence, without these we would not be at this place we are now with these extremely peculiar characteristics, it feels like we are precisely were we are supposed to be because its disjunction or alternative to being where we are is synthetic or additive by means of it. This creation does not imply time, instead time is essential to the idea of the creation, the implication goes the other way around. Time is necessarily implicated in consciousness, as is space. I am not saying that we are in any way seeing how we were created, but we are analyzing its ingredients. We are capable of saying what our creation must necessarily have, without saying how it is done. I do not think it makes sense to conclude regarding how we are created for the same reason we do not know what it is like (or what it means) to be independent of us, such as materialists considers a stone to be independent of us or theists considers god to be independent of us. I do not think there has been an absolute creation if you were asking that, for I consider nothingness to be impossible (this I actually know) and emptiness to be a mutual contingency to whatever fills it.

  10. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    A meta-contrast theory of reality Once you die, you'll be in a state of non-existence where there is no time, and neither is there the experience of a black screen. Since being a black-screen is still a conscious experience. In the total absence of experience "what would happen next?". I would suppose that in that total stasis, the only contrast to that nothingness would be experience again, maybe as another fleeting blip or as another type of existence . When in non-existence, we could say there are two possibilities. Either non-existence just "remains", or a contrast from non-existence will happen. If we suppose that there exists a situation where the contrast "doesn't happen" (I.e. death is final), that's not a situation at all or experience at all. Therefore the only thing that can happen is a contrast, and something will happen. Which would imply that after your death, you would end up dreaming something else as a contrast. We can reduce the question of what happens "after" your death to the question of whether a contrast will happen or not. But since the situation of non-contrast isn't a situation at all, I'm suggesting that the only thing which can happen is contrast. -- "The Big Bang" can similarly be thought of as a contrast to nothingness that happened (as "contrast" is the only possible situation) We could make a meta-contrast theory of reality. By this theory, there exist an arbitrarily infinite number of (contrasts to nothingness)/universes. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Notes: No distinction or postulation is made about the nature of the contrasts, that they are following some law or sense, or that they are contained in any way. In a sense, this is absolute infinity. The most mathematically unconstrained infinity you can think of is represented by "arbitrariness". Arbitrariness is the key feature here. Whether the "The Big Bang", as a physical event that physicists are postulating as the start of our universe, is true or not, is besides the point. The Big Bang is merely a cosmological story of creation we have, and this theory of contrasts includes that. Another thing to note is that the question of "how is there something rather than nothing" is answered by an argument which is saying "it's the only thing which is possible". By saying a contrast is the only thing which can happen, since non-contrast isn't a thing which can happen, etc etc -- Despite the argument given, I still have no reason to think non-existence or nothingness isn't possible. Even if there is a something going on here right now, it is completely valid to say there is a nothing going on in the background here. If you say there isn't a nothing going on the background here, you'd have to posit some quality about nothingness which isn't present. But nothingness is the exact thing and term for a thing which has no quality which can be negated
  11. Notice, it has been the case all your life, you have not noticed this, what has changed, really? You came to a realization. That is a hard core, some people said they needed to learn again how to walk after non-dual experience. Yep, I do realize this quite often too. When I feel this way, next realization is : "no worries, there is no "I" either. You are no more real as he is. Pure imagination of the mind.. Yup, been there too, but if you remove "I", can void/nothingness be really alone this is the bitter pill to swallow for me too, ego hates it because it has been dreaming about soul mate and here we go: there is no other.... Love does! Mind talks....who has to die, nothingness? How? It seems like you still believe in the control if you resist to what is in the moment. But yeah, good luck....it will soak in eventually. Just keep watching the movie on the screen, the flow will take your body where it should be. You are not a hero, as you have discovered, keep watching....

  12. How to use your mind properly?

    Reciprocality replied to Ya know's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    You somehow realize that beliefs are always though in various ways empty, that they are a minimal effort of survival. That pretty much nothing is the way it seems, and ultimately in no particular way at all, therefore. That equations are equivocations, and that substance/attribute theory is the closest you get to a consistent meta-model of mind, that instead of adding things together you subtract things from necessary unity, such that instead of saying 0.5+0.5=1 you end up only saying that without a whole there are no halves, and that everything of consciousness (say a duck) is thereby a fraction of it, and that without the duck there would non the less be something whole. To say that the duck is an accident of what it inheres in, or to which it is subsistent. You also realize that thoughts subsist, even though they are synthetic and pure imagination. Synthetic subsistence implies consciousness as an absolute, and so to what you are asking I answer that the ultimate goal of mind is to find the essential subsistent attributes of the substance consciousness, if you can. Time, Space, Causality, Empirical intuition, Will and Pure analytic mathematics/logic seems all to be THE essence of consciousness, none of which are mere representations of it but actually it. The best theory on how these essential ingredients are combined will also be the best way trough which to think, though it must always be understood that we retrospectively combine them imperfectly, and are therefore building a philosophical architecture instead of speaking absolute truth. This combination is a representation of something mystical, this architecture is a representation of something beyond ourself, I think. I also think that this rationalism is a cosmological and absolute necessity, an essence of existence itself. This which is beyond ourself are typically recognized by various people and doctrines from Purple to Turquoise as God, Synthetic A Priori, Subconscious, Nothingness, Oblivion, Death, Unconscious, Materiality, Truth, Heaven, The thing in itself, "contents" of intuition, Noumena, absolute will or "something from nothing". Edit: And by the skeptics in general this which is beyond ourself are recognized as a manifold of imagined material possibility, how they go about projecting themselves into the world they are supposedly skeptical of as a foundation for its possibilities is the biggest hoax and I would argue the most extreme case of mental gymnastics recorded in history. Don't be a skeptic, though learn everything you can from them.
  13. Given that something takes the form it needs to since nothing more than necessary takes form. And that every form takes a certain direction and that direction is defined by the form. How then can necessary forms be accidents to the ultimate direction, if not by a will that is dual to them both? And so without no will neither comes intention, to which then we would be a necessary accident, so then we are an extreme kind of absolute being. So then our lives are an end in itself and this actually all there will be to us. So then there is an emptiness lacking in the cosmological scale we are every day ruining by at all being, and so my existential question then is regarding this to which we are an opposite and seemingly emergent of: what is it in itself and what is the absolute variation of things that can become its opposite, and so regarding these how alone are we in our universe? It really should not be possible that we are at all, given this I take it that there will always be something and that what seems like nothingness is actually a positive notion, a negation on top of a thing. Well then the will is emergent and imposed in its power by that which it is emergent of so to be by some plain love radically reduced in its power to do harm, and so then of what else than perfection are we? Extreme diversity, minimal effort.
  14. I had an profound experience on these seeds yesterday. They can be a great legal alternative to LSD or mushrooms. I’ll briefly describe my experience after this safety warning Warning: At high doses, these seeds can cause vasoconstriction and may not be suitable for people with certain medical conditions That being said, I took 7 seeds and the vasoconstriction was only mildly uncomfortable. I took the seeds orally, but they can also be taken sublingually or a few different extraction methods can be used to reduce physical side effects. I took a 10 mg THC sativa edible to potentiate. It’s a strong synergy, so for someone like me with zero marijuana tolerance, I’d recommend only 5 mg, as I could feel the edible overpowering the LSA at times, which was a bit distracting. It was definitely an intense experience as the LSA was strongly sedating, almost putting me to sleep at some points, but then the sativa would hype me up again, the two seemed to be competing in that sense I would describe the headspace as being similar to LSD with a sedative body high similar to mushrooms. The visuals are much more subtle, I saw a grid of pulsing dots when I closed my eyes. I imagine in the dark the visuals would be stronger though. The best part about this substance is that it supercharges contemplation! My thoughts felt so clear and meaningful. I would highly recommend going in with a list of questions and recording your answers to listen back to the next day. You’re basically guaranteed to produce some great new insights! I also experienced some ego-dissolution and probably could’ve had an ego death if I wasn’t resisting it. It seemed like my thoughts were deconstructing themselves and trying to reveal the eternal nothingness from which everything comes. At times, there was a sense of complete perfection. Not in the sense of some kind a peak experience, as this substance is more subtle than that, but a sense of wholeness and completion. I understood that we truly exist to spread love, because love and truth are identical I also experienced some pretty strong time dilation, like time was passing 2-4 times slower at some points. A 20 minute walk back home felt like it took almost an hour. Towards the end of the walk it got a little scary, as it seemed like I was taking considerably more steps than the actual distance I was covering. Like I was mostly staying still and the distance was stretching in front of me. It was starting to get colder and I was worried I would never make it back home. It would’ve been helpful to have someone there to tell me I was moving at normal speed In conclusion I would highly recommend this substance! It can be legally purchased online and I can tell that it has great potential for spiritual growth. In my view, 8 seeds should be considered the maximum oral dose. There are reports of people having great experiences on 12+ seeds, but you definitely pay a physical price for that My next trip report will be on 8 seeds without marijuana, so I can know what the effects are of LSA by itself. And then after that I’ll try it with 5 mg of sativa
  15. Yeah of course, every days. the thing is why of the fear. the ego perceives that the absence of limits is death and it is impossible for him to let it go, he will always want to maintain a minimum of definition, of form, since the non-form is nothing, death. but precisely nothingness is your nature, or god, whatever, and this is what is impossible to grasp with the mind. the ego must surrender completely, this you can do with 5meo for a few moments, but sober it is very difficult. to be awake is to live with that openness to the unlimited. I have an opening normally, but far from complete. there is attachment to form. the work is to detach from the form
  16. "What is happening right now, like what is this exact fucking moment? it is LITERALLY there. RIGHT NOW! THIS!?" This question from your original post assumes that universal existence can be equated with something in essential and particular in it, it is a from of absurd essententialism. "Why isn't nothing possible ? Why would there be stuff ..?Why do you think the existence of something is necessary?" I do not think that something must necessarily exist, I know. If something can be at all that means it can not be taken away, for if it could be taken away then it could also never have been. Your problem is that you think that everything beyond presence is nothingness, and that nothingness is potentially something, that existence can negate itself every time a second goes by. Instead, again, you invent the idea of negation after first having been imposed by something, this imposition and your essential nature of emptiness are equal to the other. You can consider them to be mutually generative. This emptiness does not negate the things that occurs by means of it and with it, obviously. That we are wondering how it is all possible can be satisfied (even though your formulation of the question makes little sense), but that does not change the proclivity for wonder itself, and so now I ask why everything is the way it is and not merely why it is at all. It is here that one encounter self reference problems, any honesty here implies a teleological theory. You end up asking not only "why am I the way I am" but rather "why is what I am precisely the way it had to be". At this point you may discover determinism, which is a perfect theory when you are limited by one linearity and are only thinking retrospectively. But you will also discover that the future is always mystical in its direction, that everything is both similar and different, and that only will is of the nature that could imply altercation. Here you see that the will is only a consistent theory in a given time frame if it is ANTICIPATED for the future, and never reduced into a theory of what were already existent or of the memories of the past, and that the only way one could have both determinism and will is in an infinite manifold of universes of which oneself is merely singular. The synthesis says that one goes trough this infinite manifold every day, and that everything which preceded therefore were totally determined. What were once a contradiction becomes the very glue itself. All this is implied and almost self argued by taking the idea of the will seriously.
  17. God is amazing. But there is a void of nothingness where no other word comes close to discribe it except Shi-va. And it's indescribable. Literally. All logic and sense making and symbolic meaning goes out the window. So stay open i would say.
  18. @Someone here Only in assuming that existence is a possibility that is actualized by some cause can you consider that question (of why there is something rather than nothing) meaningful. What I say is that this assumption is itself absurd, which is affirmed when you realize that the present moment in being at all, negates nothingness. Which means there had to be something, the answer to your question is of necessity, there necessarily were something.
  19. Osho once said that all the three main religions born out of India Buddhism Jainism Hinduism are intended to create an inner zero..... nothingness as Buddha called it apparently! I just watched that Osho video which is why I mentioned it ❤
  20. Nice, Here I would describe identification like an unexplored assumption or misunderstanding, a real & unreal experience.... J krishnamurti & Osho had a lot of great discussions in this area! It seems difficult to point out because it's not a particular thing, it's a bunch of smaller things that seem to make up this big unreal identity construct. And it's more of an internal recognition as opposed to an external behavioral change. For example: An apparent someone who recognizes their personalized identification as unreal, will still remember how to sell real estate, save money or operate a crane, still prefer white rice over brown or coffee over tea. What I'm saying is there will still seem to be a character with a personal identification or preferences. In other words it wouldn't be able to be pointed out! As far as identification taking the form as nothing, well that just wouldn't be nothingness. But it could be a concept of it. ❤
  21. @Vincent S It's not like I haven't encountered Nothingness or Emptiness. If I take enough 5-MeO-DMT that's where it takes me. To total formlessness. So I don't see a need for ketamine for that.
  22. Nothingness=Everything Everything is Love. You are Awareness.
  23. Thanks, I agree Notice please that nothingness is not real "thing", and is only a concept, polarity that minds create to oppose to something.
  24. @Galyna Yes, the perception of visual field is nothingness in actuality. But if you think a form which exist independent of mind's imagination. This is not possible. Consciousness is nothingness. And consciousness is prior to form. No form exist without imagination by infinite mind or infinite consciousness. All forms, colors, sensations etc are imagined by nothingness. Nothingness is prior. FORM IS SECONDARY PHENOMENON. You can say form is nothingness but it is still imagined and held in infinite mind which technically is nothing. No color, No shape, Nothing.
  25. Once you collapse the duality between relative and absolute, the subtle notion of the infinite and finite disappears. The relative is as real as the absolute. The ego is as real as infinity. Red is as red as nothingness. Free will is as real as determinism. "You" are both real and a illusion. Reality is permanently co-creating itself, through itself, with itself.