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@VincentArogya Thats true. @inFlow I know, i didnt write : "i want do die" from Ones perspective. But this transformation right now is insane. It is like switching light on and off all the time. And when its off, sense of separation is so big, im burning. Literally I go from total Peace to total depression and suicidal thoughts. But i know this is necessary, cold showers, grounding and meditation will do its miracles. Thanks for advice <3

http://biologyofkundalini.com/ KUNDALINI - (Sanskrit kund, "to burn"; kunda, "to coil or to spiral") a concentrated field of intelligent, cosmic invisible energy absolutely vital to life; beginning in the base of the spine when a man or woman begins to evolve as wisdom is earned. Kundalini has been described as liquid fire and liquid light. The ultimate outcome of kundalini is the union of Will (sakti- kundalini), Knowledge {prana-kundalini) and Action (para- kundalini) http://biologyofkundalini.com/ Jana's energy amazes me. When you see everything she has tied together and researched, it's amazing. I've never talked to her or emailed her or anything. I've just enjoyed this site off and on over the years. I also like her for not being afraid of saying some far out shit. To be honest, there are parts of this book I have not read. Most of my time has been spent in a specific location of the book. This is a bit out of her chapter - toxic mind theory. Progressively it is coming to light that there is a large neuro-detoxification component to the kundalini phenomena. After reading Peter Levine, Robert Scaer, Alan Schore, Arthur Janov, Joseph Chilton Pearce and Ellie Van Winkle it is apparent to me that kundalini arises either spontaneously or through provocation in an effort to bleed of tension held in the limbic brain from the fossilized repression of emotion. Kundalini is a process by which the body is attempting to "throw off" its former conditioning through detoxification, death and regeneration. I am a big fan of the Toxic Mind Theory of mental and emotional illness which is described by Ellie Van Winkle at www.redirectingselftherapy.com/toxicmind.html He suggests emotional repression of the full expression of the fight/flight response and the consequent lack of resolution back to a neutral set point, results in the atrophy and toxicosis in catecholamine-noradrenergic neurons. A toxin is anything that cannot be utilized by the cell, and when elimination is impaired, toxins accumulate to intolerable levels and trigger a detoxification process. This cycle of toxification and detoxification shows up in the form of a mild to extreme disturbance in the emotions and personality. A kundalini awakening represents an intensive and extensive detoxification process during the temporary lifting of the repressive mechanisms of the "conscious" ego. Very many if not all factors lead me to this conclusion. For example fasting or going on a raw diet awakens kundalini because the body at last receives the energy and resources needed to bring about a detoxification crisis. Whereas the normal cooked diet requires so much energy and resources to process that it becomes an ally in the spiritual repressive mechanisms of the ego, as do all such addictions. Thus natural growth and transformation is thwarted as the personality clings to its past imprints by various means of self-suppression; including getting others to victimize you. Toxic Mind Theory is an elaboration of the stressing and unstressing process. A kundalini awakening is an amplified version of this normal cyclic detoxification process that affects us all. "A detoxification crisis is the sum of many crises in separate neurons, and depressive and excitatory symptoms may occur simultaneously. Whether symptoms will develop depends upon the extent of the toxicosis, and persons who are experiencing symptoms are healthier than those who are not because they are detoxifying their nervous systems." E. Van Winkle The bipolar shift from over excitement to depression is characteristic of nearly all mental disorders including addictions and Alzheimers. Van Winkle associates the hyperactive stage with excess norepinephrine and other metabolites flooding the synapses; first this causes excitation in postsynaptic neurons and then noradrenergic receptors become bound up with these other factors (dopamine, epinephrine, serotonin, GABA, peptides, amino acids and various waste products) and depression ensues.

Yes there is a lot attachment left Thanks for scaring the shit out of me ? I am kidding, i can feel this is only the beginning, and there is no end for transformation.

Attention lovely people, lost souls, leo minions, and the taintly auspicious Leo Guru, this is a message and quote from myself, the joker, a rabbit hole jumper, conspiracy theorist, brain re-washer, spiritual truth seeker/humanitarian: From one quack or conspiracy buff, to another, as above, so below, from the shallow/skeptically minded see-r's to the deep divers, I mean no ill intention, i have compassion for the complexities of all the "times" current spider webs of deception, lies, deceits, fears, and revelations. This is the year of transformation, we have 2020 vision, allow all perspectives to share the same space of unity, but do not lower yourself to the lies of the many, to give power away, take your power/sanctuary within. Create space, develop humility, question the biggest conspiracy theorists of them all: mainstream media, then allow all answers to flow your way. Do not take them as a belief, your shadow/fear is not what you think it is, it is not what needs to be pushed away, or written off. Meditate, always return home, and reflect on what information, dark or light, is coming to your search for higher truths. We don't have to agree, i know everyone is on a unique path, so i work to love you all, but the question is, can you love me? Can you love the devil, the ignorant, the hated, the politically inclined, the followers, worshippers, perfectionists, realists and liars? To withhold judgement long enough to see truth of what is given. so many of us claim to think in systems, and judge others for not being able to communicate intelligently using these systems, ignoring the different modalities of individuals, over-valuing left brain logic; my question is “on what level do you not know, yet claim and fool yourself into thinking you do” “to what degree can you smell your own shit” I’ve been connecting with my butthole all year long so I can allow myself to play with a double edged sword of life, Please don’t make fun of it we all have one

@No Self you are absolutely right. I wouldn’t want anyone to believe a leader or a teacher needs to be perfect. Nevertheless there is a threshold for tolerance of what is acceptable level of ‘imperfect’ and what’s no longer tolerable, and I Am figuring that out, and allowing others to find this threshold themselves by being open about my process of healing and transformation, as well as being clear about the issues that can no longer be overlooked.

Salutations Jahmaine, Basically there's too few people who can claim to have gotten initiated to cannabis in any other manner than socio-toxic, e.g. vilifying and then turning new adepts into more agents of self-vilification... The vectors ain't too difficult to recognize, once one knows what to consider. For starters the heavily unbalanced distribution of genetics as a function of THC-centric selection and now Full-CBD displays with bold graphical evidence when plotted it seems, but that's not all. Now that it's "legal" here and there such fractured distortion only amplifies, with some odd voids in the 2:1, 3:1 or even 4:1 THC:CBD ratio groups i think. Now, if we agree that 1:0 THC:CBD is already nearly as extreme as 1:0 or even 0:1 then it should become evident this opens the door wide open to mis-guided 3rd-party interference since in The Commonwealth we could live our lives one generation after then next and never heard of alternative between the 2 extremes, which then inspires me this most elementary question: how's a bad start supposed to turn good? Because not only it's typically some extremely unbalanced THC:CBD ratio (even when "legal", actually!) which people initiate with, but there's a lot more vilification awaiting ahead, mainly under the form of chronic self-poisoning caused by the by-products of combustion combined to contamination with savvy non-detection Pest Control Product soups formulated to optimized their synergy... Imagine, HCN a Level-3 item of the Chemical Waepons Convention is even involved with combustion and it happens that myclobutanil changes into the infamous extermination gas formerly known as Zyklon - ah, and the most ironic if not cynical aspect of it is the fact that it's the end-consumer himself who finds no better consumption method than combustion, hence being his own enemy. Etc. So, unless you got direct access no Nature's enlightening cannabis (treated with respect) i think the usual path is as that with help from a vilyfing social setup where we'll eventually fall victims of one among multiple traps and finally wonder a few decades from now. Etc., etc. One good rule-of-thumb which is easy to remember and apply is this though: Generally try to follow "The Shortest Path of Lesser Transformation"... So, IMO if one has a push-button consumerist attitude expecting the substance to work like an elevator, euh... M'well maybe i shouldn't forget to include that as a vilification vector too. At least it's my perception that cannabis is only a facilitator, some mood amplifier or probe so to speak, and Tolerance/T-Break issues are an early vilification sign raising a red flag of course. Good day, have fun!!

Assuming she is my wife / girlfriend she shares some of my core values regarding the interest in truth. So it would not be a problem if she had some Mary-Magdalene-like transformation years ago.

Long story short, it sounds like you're going through an inner transformation which will manifest outwardly sooner or later. I'm in a similar boat right now as I am in graduate school and feeling highly dissatisfied with it. I'd say pick up some "Emotional Mastery" books on Leo's book list and work through them. Especially Loving What Is, by Byron Katie. What you'll come to realize is that you are perfectly okay where you are and things will fall into place. Trust your highest intuition. Strategize. Do some contemplating and introspecting and you'll start getting answers. As @Origins said, it's your decision. Best of luck!

If I can add my direct experience here: Do as a few of us have said and get a therapist. My therapist is doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensetization and Reprocessing (EMDR) with me and I am starting to feel amazing. And the better I feel, the easier time I have interacting with women. More and more I have been noticing girls looking at me and giving me signs of interest. Take at least 6 months off (imo) to heal yourself. Work on your trauma. Especially your family trauma, and especially especially your relationship with your mother. Because all of this weighs you down and makes you needy, submissive, etc. Your negative attributes are exacerbated by your trauma. We all have trauma, some deeper than others. Based on the fact that you are an incel at 31, I'd guess you have more than most. Not saying this to put you down, but to highlight the fact that there is some work you need to do. And I am giving you this advice because I have taken it myself. I started April 1 this year working on one thing per day as it pertains to relationships and dating, using meditation as my tool. Later I added therapy. MDMA has helped recently as well. My transformation in the last 6 months is nothing short of that, a transformation of who I am at a fundamental level. Read The Truth by Neil Strauss. This book will break you in the best way, and inspire you to heal. Because what you really want is to be healed. And what the girl really wants is for you to be healed! P.S. listen to Leo's advice. It's gold.

The thing is that local & global consciousness is not there yet. I cannot even imagine how massive the transformation would be even if taken with the smallest steps possible. The transition must be intently planned & coordinated from yellow/turqouise pov.

@datamonster Thanks for your response! I understand your perspective, and it makes sense. I think for me I'm in the privileged position of being able to step outside of the system to some extent, and I feel called to do this when possible. Ultimately change happens when people create the change they wish to see in the world. The best way I know how to do that is to embody that change myself. Whether that's by removing my money from the stock market, switching from big banks and to a local credit union, shopping at local stores and co-ops vs chains, donating money to community-led organizations, saving and reusing items vs purchasing new stuff, discovering my Life Purpose and taking the steps to find a vocation that helps others and pays the bills, downsizing my house and reducing my expenses, taking public transit more often, etc. These are all small drops in the bucket, but if millions and then billions of people take these steps they will lead to a much more rapid evolution and transformation of our current systems. The macro systemic changes are much more multi-faceted and complex, but on an individual level we all have to start somewhere. Just my two cents...no pun on words

I did unplug from society. Because where is society? Then answer is that society is in my mind! So the trick is to realize that one's own mind is making all those kinds of separations. And that's why our civilization is still at the "caterpillar" stage, because everybody is running around with the same delusions of separations in their minds. That's the personal stage. There will be a massive transformation of society I believe but it will come as a result of us individuals shifting from the personal to the transpersonal stage, and that's a process that probably takes decades just to get started in any significant way. Although the process is I believe already going on and the coronavirus crisis signifies the end of the caterpillar stage.

1.) What is the very first thought you become conscious of, when you wake up? Is it about the depression of the current civilization or the thrust to pull us out? 2.) When we break out from the cuccoon (childhood) to a free willed butterfly (adulthood), the zeal childlike enthusiasm sheds from us, any thoughts when/ at which moment in our transformation does it happen?

Just released last month. Ordered me a copy today. Editorial Reviews Review “If ever there was a teacher who could gather the reins of the mind to gallop into the land of the heart (and take us with her), it is Cynthia Bourgeault. This exquisitely written love story distills the intricacies of the esoteric Western traditions into a transformational elixir—both rigorous and luminous—simultaneously intoxicating and sobering. This book is nothing less than a map to the meeting of the worlds at the crossroads of our own souls, one the mapmaker urges us to abandon the minute our heart sees the way.”—Mirabai Starr, author of Wild Mercy “In Eye of the Heart Cynthia Bourgeault invites us on a journey that is profoundly personal and opens us to a truly fresh and panoramic vision of the purpose of human existence. In bringing to our attention the importance of the imaginal realms—the levels of consciousness between our physical reality and our ultimate divine source—she fills an enormous gap in the current conversations on spirituality. Cynthia has an amazing ability to take potentially complex ideas and to explain them with clarity and kindness. Only someone who has actually traversed these realms and knows them well could accomplish such a feat, and she does so with beauty and grace. Any serious student of the Western traditions ought to partake of these teachings. You will be grateful you did!”—Russ Hudson, co-author of The Wisdom of the Enneagram “A brilliant synthesis that both situates the imaginal world and gives it more meaning than it has previously had. . . . [Bourgeault] is a true representative of the Western spiritual tradition.”—from the afterword by A. H. Almaas “Eye of the Heart is an immensely original piece of thinking, feeling, writing. There is nothing like it. It opens new terrain, plants new seeds, starts them on their way toward the light.”—Roger Lipsey, author of Gurdjieff Reconsidered “By weaving together mystical wisdom, the Fourth Way, and the authority of her own experience, Cynthia Bourgeault masterfully charts a new path of interior transformation through the heart's ability to know and choose the way of love and service. I learned a lot from this book, and I bet you will too.”—Carl McColman, author of The Big Book of Christian Mysticism “Reading Eye of the Heart is a powerful and clarifying experience. The weaving of personal, metaphysical, and contemporary political insights is amazing, seamless, and intercessory in and of itself. We need this kind of weaving and interpenetrating in our culture just as we need it between the realms.”—Tim Shriver, author of Fully Alive The following is from:

I don't believe in crime as defined by law as laws are arbitrary abstractions which live in a parallel universe unrelated to reality. I am not saying that everything is acceptable, just that it is up to the heart to express what is acceptable. Rules are obviously fake. There are some consequences to not following socially established rules but they are also fake as in motivated by belief systems - Giordano Bruno was burned on the stake for telling the truth - Does it matter that he was a criminal according to some belief system? Therefore my question is whether these killers when feeling like killers and wanting to kill are expressing their authentic selves or their egos. Nature is also a serial killer but there is purpose there - recycling, transformation, evolution. With human killers I can't decide what's going on there. Certainly a lot of them feel troubled which seems to be a red flag. Authentic expression doesn't result in pain.

This thread is about coming full circle. It's about understanding the whole picture. Most people like to protect their beliefs in advance and are not ready to learn without their existing assumptions. When we blindly protect our beliefs and assumptions we feel more at home and safe which is an illusion. Because of that most people as they age lose their ability for accepting new explanations, new facts and new realizations because they identify with that state of being at home and safe and because of that, they reject and don't accept new explanations, realizations...because if they did, they would have to invest energy in changing their ego, and when we're identified with our thoughts and emotions we will want to maintain it. This is what cognitive dissonance is. It's a thought-emotion based blockage from our ego/mind that automatically triggers it's defense mechanism by triggering resistance and fear about change so it maintains itself. We overcome this by being honest with ourselves and with forgiving our self the emotional reactions with conscious re-direction of our life force. If you are Self-realized, do you know how to practically use that realization to systematically transform your life and remove ego reactions methodically? So many people that claim to be enlightened are basically just aware of their infinite nature, their undefined self, aware of the formless non-physical aspect that extends to infinity in all directions and dimensions, that is all present, always here and now, through which space-time moves, when you glimpse that you realize that you are everything and nothing at the same time... That's good, that's quite radical and good. Enlightenment will remove all of suffering and you will come to mental piece and inner silence. But... you will NOT be blissful. At the moment of realizing enlightenment and oneness, you see everything as perfect but the questions is it really? The paradox is that it is, and it's not. And now you have to integrate that paradox. "It's not this or that, it's both" - Bashar The question is....is that realization using you or are you proactively using that realization to come to full embodiment resulting in total bliss? If not, then your enlightenment is half-assed. When you become enlightened you realize and see how everything is happening without you doing it. It's a total mindfuck. It's really like stepping out of the matrix and seeing it for what it is, like super mario realizing it's not the character but the screen. But....that's not nearly enough. That realization is so big, that you don't know how to actualize it and so you can get stuck in passive observation of the present moment for decades. Passive observation of the present moment will never be enough to embody that realization. For example. you can be fully aware all the time, but if you are not able to see how your ego is trying to survive, you will be a passive observer and you'll be following the thoughts and emotions that are responsible for the maintenance of an egoic program. You will stay selfish and ignorant. What is necessary is active observation and acting on principles that are based on oneness, value equality, what is based for all life ...... in the now moment, inside yourself.... it's understanding that you are playing a part in the great scheme of things. (you being a fractal - a part and simultaneously the whole... well we need to act like) Active observation=a shift in being/looking -> a shift in relating Passive observation=allowing and accepting everything -> staying stuck in "all is perfect the way it is" When you're fully aware you see how thoughts and experiences pop up in the present moment without you making a choice. These thoughts, emotions and experiences come up without you making a choice and tell you who you are. Now you have 2 choices. Accept and allow these things or make a conscious choice to change yourself within yourself. To accept and allow the automatically generated reaction to continue or to stop it and do something else. To make a choice you need to be aware. We allow it to continue with our ignorance, non-understanding, carelessness for our state and well-being and self-direction and with our resistance to being honest with ourselves and taking responsibility for our thoughts. We are not our thoughts and emotions. Our thoughts are our tool that we can learn do direct instead of being submissive to it. Our automatically generated ego takes control of ourselves only if we allow it and this is when we don't give ourselves a clear principle based self-direction - when we are not clear about how we want to exist and do in every moment. Let's first define awareness and consciousness. Looking comes from awareness/being. Thoughts and thinking comes from consciousness/your mind. By stopping and looking you are re-defining yourself within yourself. You are changing your relationship to these things. You stop by becoming aware of your breathing (you can also slow it down, in the beginning it's much easier to manipulate your breathing by slowing it down than to be aware of it, just don't do it mechanically and try to observe your breathing, be one with it). When we are not conscious of every breath we take, we direct our energy into our thought-emotion energetic system and at that point we're not even aware of our body. This is an ideal scenario for our parasitic mind to take control of our attention and gain energy for it's own survival. When you are asleep you are simply assuming you're making all the choices in your life, and you're also assuming that if you've made that decision then it's probably a good one, when you're awake you're seeing your own shit that pops up in the present moment and you're able to re-define yourself in the present moment, by being something else. You are no longer identified with the thought, emotion or experience and that's when transformation takes place. Bliss is something beyond positive emotions, it is a result of embodying the Devine aspect of yourself. Bliss is divine and it's your true nature. Bliss feels good, but it feels better than feeling good...it's feeling like a God. Everything is energy but there are different kinds of energy. For this article I will focus on the mind energy and life energy. Life energy is a stable energy. The unstable energy is mind energy. The mind uses energy to preserve itself, it NEEDS energy for it's own survival. Mind energy is parasitic and if you identify with your self-created thought-emotional conscious system you will accept and allow the mind to suck the energy from your body for it's own survival. It is like a vampire, if you follow the automatically generated thoughts and emotions that show up in your awareness, you will allow the mind energy to maintain itself and the result is that your physical body will age and die one day. It's like staying asleep in the driving seat of a car.... you are the driver not the fucking car. What we are does not need energy to exist, it's eternal. A lot of Self-realized people still don't get this, they are aware of the totality...but not conscious of the part that they are playing in that screen. You are reality and you are also in reality. You are aware of the reality that is happening in you, and you are conscious that you are that self-created reality. If you are not conscious of that, then you are lost in the formless aspect of you and you don't know how to integrate that realization in your life, you don't know how to navigate between the paradox of it all and because of that you are still submissive to your automatically generated thought-emotional based system. What are you? You are an undefined being, being able to be aware, able to recognize patterns, self-reflect, to be self-responsible, self-honest, principle self-directive and able to co-create. You are always present, that means that you don't need energy for survival unlike your mind.... From that, we can clearly see that there is something more to non-duality, we are all one, but we are different, we are individual units of consciousness, souls... at different levels of maturity who are able to grow in discernment, intelligence, wisdom, love, compassion through using our abilities that I described earlier. Awareness(god) is creating his own consciousness field and this field of consciousness carries information that was accepted as true and allowed to be. This is our ego, this is the though-emotion energetic based system. You can only change yourself while being in yourself (that is a radical statement that you need to become conscious of, the character needs to shift from BECOMING a character to BEING, from form to formless and back to a different form)... Everything is now, but did you make a distinction between being and becoming? Are you aware of the constant change that is happening in you in the present moment, and be able to be principle self-directive when an automatically generated though/emotion shows up or will you be selfish and ignorant...react and follow the dualistic mind energy, that will suck the energy from your body for it's own survival? You created the mind through imagination but now the mind is using you, you are lost in your own dream, you are asleep while the process of survival is happening and because of that you are allowing and accepting the egoic reactions to continue, when you are aware, you notice how thoughts and emotions automatically come out of nowhere and you notice how these thoughts and emotions need your attention to survive... you are able to stop them, transcend them and be principle self-directive in the now moment. The mind will of course trigger fear, because it fears death and non-existence -> an illusion, so it will seem like you are powerless in the passengers seat, but that is an illusion that can be overcome by being aware that you are the only one here and the only being responsible for your direction, and that you always was that which is here&now.... you will need to train your discernment abilities to recognize appearances from reality. Following certain thoughts and emotions of course has benefits, that's why you do it...BUT...are you seeking positive experiences and emotions? If yes, then you are identifying with your emotions, you are polarizing reality into good and bad. You are basically being selfish and ignorant. When we're under the influence of certain chemicals we easily forget our self-responsibility and power of self-directing and start being submissive to our automatically generated thought-emotion programs. When we look through our ego, we want more of these experiences. Ego wants more! When we look through our ego we want to maintain our selfish interest and what is best for the ego AND NOT what is best for all life just because of the generated emotions. Ego is afraid of honesty because if we are totally honest, the ego might lose it's benefits so it uses all kinds of ego defense mechanisms to avoid facing the truth. Ego thrives on ignorance and avoidance. An internal or external trigger will trigger a behavior of thinking, feeling and acting and you will need to stay mindful to notice that - that's mindfulness . Then, you will stop the egoic reaction by focusing on your breathing, focusing on your feeling in the body and every sound around you, you will become present. Then you will bend the flow of energy based on described principles. By shifting that energy, you will enter an unknown territory, your mind will be afraid and it will trigger fear for the purpose of shifting the energy back. In that moment you will stay present and cultivate a metaphysical connection to reality by being grounded in the present moment, in that case, you are practicing transcendence and witnessing how triggered thoughts and feelings of the old program are trying to sedate you for the purpose of You putting attention into them. And in this process you will understand what is being and becoming. The process that will be described is holistic. It doesn't focus just on the spiritual or emotional or thoughts or physical aspect it focuses on transforming all aspects, that's why it's revolutionary and very advanced but the thing is, that it's so simple that everybody can understand and use it! The principles are based on oneness, value equality - what is best for all. What is best for all is also best for you. "I take others into account and treat others the same way as I would like to be taken into account and treated if I was in their place" A shift needs to happen. A shift to where you don't operate based on your thoughts and emotions but on a deeper level of knowing. A shift from memory to knowing. Some aspect of you always knows...but you don't listen carefully enough. Instead of listening and deeply feeling the truth you are accepting and allowing the thought-emotional based system to steal your attention so it can maintain itself. You quickly jump to conclusions, quickly jump into action.....you are being reactive, because you take things as obvious...and that's a trap of the egoic program because if things slowed down, you would have more opportunity to discern falsehood from truth and truth would have more opportunity to shed falsehood. You need to slow down to stop acting like a sheep, following his thoughts and emotions. And you do this by taking a few controlled breaths. When the thoughts and emotions pop up in the present moment via internal/external triggers to steal your attention from what is best for all beings, then you slow down. You must intend to become aware and then you will be aware. By setting an intention you will awaken in the present moment (in the linear sense for example you will set an intention today and tomorrow the triggers will trigger thoughts and emotions and you will be awake in that moment because you've set the intention). Commit to setting intentions to redirect your life force. For example: smoking. Picture this scenario. It's time for lunch break, the smoker usually smokes a cigarette after the lunch break, so that's an external trigger, then there can be also an internal trigger that says ("another cigarette and then I will come back"), BUT if the egoic program was integrated due to repeating it a lot, then there will be no thoughts like that, it will just seem obvious to the smoker that that's the next thing he will do, in this case he is assuming the thought-emotional based system is true and you will always do what you believe to be true. Then that's going the become his reality, because he imagined it to be real....but then let's say a shift in consciousness happens where that no longer makes sense and is no longer true, let's say the smoker found out in reality he doesn't want to smoke but to finish smoking, at that moment he becomes aware of the bigger picture, he steps out of himself and becomes aware and he connects to a deeper level of knowing that is present, he starts imagining a new reality, a new possibility existing. He awakens.... so let's say now comes the same scenario, he finishes lunch and goes to his location to smoke, he grabs a cigarette, he lights it up and then....he awakens, he becomes aware and knowing and at that moment he has the decision to drop the cigarette or to continue smoking it, if he continues smoking it, he promotes the thought-emotional based parasite but if he drops it, he embodies his new truth. When he became aware, memories were not needed to drop it, he was aware and thus knowing....and that's the way toward embodying truth. You come to deeper and deeper levels of realization. But now he needs to transmute the old program and awareness alone usually doesn't do it because we need a new program to integrate, to remove a program without adding a new one will just create a sense of emptiness and after a while we will spiral back into the old program just because we don't know any better, as simple as that sounds. Awareness alone is curative only in the short term. We transmute the old program with speech. So, the smoker comes home, analyzes his emotional reactions in writing(this step was possible only after he became aware), he is honest about his self. He writes self-correction statements about what is best for all and then he needs to say it out loud, for the transmutation process to take place, he needs to repeat these statements, once is not enough and by doing so, he embodies a higher truth, that was deeply felt. We can only change ourselves inside ourselves, analogy - screen (awareness) and mario (the character-you-the thought emotional based system), the character needs to become aware of the screen and only after that he can shift to a new program, like being a character in a movie, if the character wants to play a different role in a different movie, he needs to drop his role and stop following his thought and emotions. By doing so he is becoming a master of himself. You will avoid writing things out and analyzing your reactions at all costs because being honest and reflective of your actions is dangerous to the maintenance of your ego. Make no mistake, you will never feel like doing it. IF you will not do it, that's the same as being identified with the thought-emotional based system. You will keep rationalizing, making excuses, believing your lies and you will keep deceiving yourself but slowly if you keep at it you will become better at spotting your own bullshit, facing your own self, overcoming the fear of losing parts of yourself and do self-correction to change yourself. You always put trust in something, now is the time to ask yourself what you put trust in. There are different levels of knowing. The first is hearing something, the second is contemplating it and the third is making it instinctual. But how can you make awakening instinctual...? BY following certain principles. Alignment with truth. Remember, it's not only about realizing Truth but about being in alignment with Truth. Alignment is not the same as balance. Alignment is about being in tune and connected to the present moment. Being in tune + connected to the present balance. By being in tune and present, we allow the higher self to manifest. For alignment to happen, there needs to be calmness and silence for us to listen and then discern different energy flows. When we're in alignment then we're supporting all life and beings with our actions and if we're not , we're creating disharmony and unbalance in the universal system. We're here to be present to a certain role in the evolutionary process of consciousness. A divine role consists of certain beliefs, attitudes, visions, thoughts, states, interactions, sounds, voice, communication, feelings. So, you need to be present to specific things that remind you of who you are...and not what you truly are, because no thing can trigger the memory of what you are, because what you are is not a memory So...you need to train your discernment abilities to recognize these things. Not just staying in the present moment, but regulating your attention/energy flow/body movements to be present to specific things. And you do this by slowly silently deeply feeling things to discern if you resonate with them or not. This is totally different paradigm than taking things as obvious and reacting to the perceived stimuli. Consciousness is this infinite field that can resonate at infinite number of frequencies, different frequencies = different experiences(sounds, feelings, visions, thoughts...) but as souls we will not resonate with all frequencies, it's not really our purpose to do so, and this is why I told you to discern if you resonate with it or not...that is God understanding what it actually is. Freeing ourselves from the automatically generated thought-emotional based system is a process in which we step by step with every breath and with a few tools 1.conscious breathing 2. self-honest writing 3. self-forgiveness 4. self-correction take our responsibility for our mind/ego/though-emotion based energetic system and start AWAKENING. While doing that we take into account the law of one and value equality of all life, because that's the best for all and because of that best for us. Every action that does not take into account "I take others into account and treat others the same way as I would like to be taken into account and treated if I was in their place" is an action that is coming from our deluded ego. Awakening is a process where we realize our power of directing our eternal life force. To direct your life force, you don't need any kind of energy, because you are eternal and don't need energy for existing. You don't need stimulation. If you're stimulation driven then when there is no longer a supply of your stimulation you don't have any motivation anymore to do the act, you are like a program that will stop existing if there is no supply of input commands. And most people are just that, programs. Being self-honest is about being honest about your state, thoughts, emotions, actions, intentions we're existing in. This is our ability to see our source without judgement. Only by being self-honest life is born until then we're only our automatically generated thoughts and emotions. With writing we discover which thoughts created our emotions and we forgive ourselves. Then we write self-correction statements. And breathing. Only when we're aware of our breathing and grounded in the present moment, we're able to direct our life force. The process of writing looks like that. This is the most efficient form. 1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ____ (describe your harmful selfish way of thinking, acting, emoting) 2. When I notice and become aware of ___(describe the things you mentioned earlier), I stop and breath. 3. I am conscious that ___ (1. describe the harmful consequences of your pattern and why it's not supportive for all life. 2. Describe why and how the changed action is better for all) 4. This is why from now on, I am committed to (describe a practical healthy mind pattern new pattern that is best for all life with which you're substituting the old, unnecessary, selfish and harmful pattern) "You are the program and also the programmer" - Arcturus RA With this process we are expanding our understanding of our ego/mind and that gives us power to change ourselves. We are becoming more aware of our selves as the eternal life force and our ability to self-direct selflessly. We are becoming more familiar with our way of thinking, with our habits, reactions and though-emotional based states that we're submissive to. With this process we're coming back to our full power by being less submissive to our thoughts and emotions step-by-step, breath by breath. With this process we're removing all kinds of limitations and we're becoming able to express ourselves more effectively more and more. You can do this at the end of your day to reflect back on your day, you can also open a blog on blogger like many Destonians do to keep yourself more accountable. So, now I have a question for you. Will you start practicing the process and do what is best for all life or will you accept and allow your thoughts and emotions to direct you. I will explain a method that I learned from Destonians. Keep an open mind. Resources to take it to the next level: https://desteni.org/ http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ https://eqafe.com/ https://eqafe.com/p/consciousness-awareness-back-to-basics https://forum.desteni.org/viewforum.php?f=10

I feel like I'm going through a very deep transformation right now. This is nothing like anything I have ever experienced. I feel good about myself, about who I am. Not about my accomplishments - it's about my essence. About my uniqueness. My productivity at work this week has plummeted and I can't get myself to make progress with my current projects, but I know that I need this time to myself. This is the time when I'm looking deeply into who I am, into what I understand myself to be. I feel that my psychological makeup is changing. It feels like a new identity is condensing, but even though I'm semi-conscious of it, I'm not rejecting it. I don't blame myself for "having" an ego anymore. There is this multiplicity of me and I can see it. It is as if it was somewhere out there, as something other than me - and yet - it is very dear, close to my heart. From one point of view, I feel compassion for this struggling creature, as if it was separate, but when I feel this, I feel good, as if someone empathized with me. I really like the analogy of being in a relationship with myself. Very unusual. I could say that this is the proper transition from green to yellow. I exhausted the relishing in the relativity and accepted the survival side of things. The systemic part of yellow is emphasized so much, but I don't think that this is the proper characteristic. I was pretty well versed in systemic thinking as green, but what I did not fully get was, simply put, myself. I was at odds with "having" an ego, it felt like a curse of not being able to live my life they way I wanted haha. The proper characteristic of Yellow is integral. Integral means: unified, in-dividual. Even though this inner structure has its facets, they all serve specific purposes and balance each other in strife for permanence. I accept even the lowest aspects of myself and treat them with care. They are, after all, my most precious children. I will never be as close to any child as I am to my heart. And still, I understand that this structure is conceptual. There is nothing in here I can point my finger towards and say: "AHA! Got you!". I am interpreting my behaviors as they appear and act as if there was a person/s here. My interior does not like being called "illusory" for it implies that it is not important. It is important to me. Ha!

I think that consciousness evolution is transcend and include, so for example we will still have bodies even in the very high levels of cosmic consciousness that Shunyamurti talked about. Basically like angels, or what in Christianity is called the glorified body. It may even be that the step from the personal stage to the first transpersonal stage involves a change of the physical body! Maybe just my fantasy, haha, but I believe it might be possible. To have a body like an angel that can shapeshift and do all kinds of stunts, that's something much later on at the more advanced levels of consciousness, but some form of simpler improvement of the physical body might happen already at the first transpersonal stage. One thing that makes me believe in the possibility of a transformation of the physical body is that when practicing inner body awareness it becomes really clear that the physical body at the personal stage of development is in a really limited and suffering form.

On a second thought, maybe paternal lineages are not entirely silly, since evolution has several "dimensions" to it. So the personal stage then is inherited through both the maternal and paternal lineages and also from society and the environment. And since society is a holon we carry the whole personal stage in our bodies and minds. At first it may seem impossible to budge that kind of heavy conditioning and move from the personal stage to the transpersonal stage. The power necessary comes from accelerating evolutionary progress. Yes, the past is enormous and heavy but each moment is an explosion into massively more information and complexity so in theory the transformation into the transpersonal stage can happen in the twinkling of an eye.

@tsuki this year has been incredible in so many ways, just blown my mind. I am going through all sorts of challenging times, you may not believe half the things that’s happened and I’ve not shared much of it here. I really do believe this is a year of change, so many like myself are realizing their multidimensional nature, the light body transformation is taking place... I will be offline for a few days while I cleanse, so I’ll have to get back to you if if you have questions or wanna chat about it. You can Pm me too. Hope you’re well!

@Adamq8 Well, I have never been enlightened and from my pov, only an enlightened mind can enter the spiritual dimension/be able to transcend this material realm. I doubt that anyone could do it via a 'cheat code' as this is beyond any human understanding of reality and may require a radical transformation of one's body and mind. But the way I see it, if you don't take care of your mind and body, it will affect the way you perceive the world because body/mind is literally everything that you see around you. But how can you program reality or become one with it, I have no idea... it only appears to me that there is some conflict between the body and mind or the inner/outer world and in order to become complete, someone has to mix these "ingredients" together. Anyway, if there is a god on this forum who knows how this works, I would like to hear the Secret too *sending prayers to the Heaven* ? ? @DrewNows nice, thx for sharing ?

So I'm a 20-year old guy who at first time in his life engages in an attempt to have a real long-term relationship. Previously I was a bit interesting in pickup and having "casual sex" and so on, but I started to find it boring and exhausting. So me, and a girl with which we were "just making good sex and having fun" slowly and carefully started thinking about something more real, intimate and personal. And now it's almost a year since we're together. We are +- emotionally stable and so on so we don't have a lot of fights and we're dialoguing our way through somehow. But it's felt and seen that we're really different people. We have influenced each other a lot through that year, but it's quite obvious that we also have different priorities and values sometimes, in the most vital areas of life. I'm self-absorbed in some sense and quite attached to this idea of personal growth, transformation, understanding life and so on. "WE ALL SHOULD REACH TO THE STARS", that kind of thinking. She buys into it to some degree but she's more(than me) about comfort, not-risking, and relationships with others. And this polarity often shows itself when we have an argument or a serious discussion on some matter. So with that explained I would like to ask you, dear self-actualizers, for any valuable and insightful books/authors/articles/youtubers on the topic of romantic relationships, partnership, sexuality, communication, reaching understanding with orthers, and so on. Specifically in my situation, but also in general, so any ideas will be valuable.

A perhaps better analogy is the caterpillar to butterfly transformation that Bruce Lipton and others have used. Society today is collectively at the personal stage of development represented by the caterpillar. And the butterfly is the collective transpersonal stage of humanity. The coronavirus crisis might be the beginning of the caterpillar turning into a cocoon. And within society a transformation will happen where the butterfly starts to develop while the caterpillar dissolves. That's a process that may take decades to complete! That's tedious from the individual perspective yet a very short period of time seen historically and is a result of exponential (accelerating) evolutionary progress.

Shunyamurti has this new video where he talks about death and the fear of death. The fear of death cannot be overcome by the ego, because it's precisely the ego that dies, he said. I believe that physical death might be overcome, but it will be a transformation of the "body of flesh". And for that to happen the transpersonal stage is necessary I think and the melting of the crystallized ego, so yes the ego "dies" in a sense, but it's also preserved in an transcend and include of the individual personality which is very valuable.

Also, fear and confusion feed each other in a vicious loop. The sense of separation since it's a delusional state causes confusion which the mind at the personal stage tries to run away from through desire and fear, carrots and sticks which at least are more useful than confusion. The fear in turn because of its illusionary nature results in more confusion leading to new desire and fear and so on in a circle. J. Krishnamurti says in this short video that fear must be totally eliminated for there to be a transformation of human consciousness.