Search the Community

Be careful, I can already see the Actualized version of Himmler circling this thread waiting to lock it to appease his power fetish. No-self is the classical Buddhist teaching. No essence of self that is unchanging. IME, I've been more in touch with Vedanta. I found a self it's just that that self was actual literal total nothingness. All the somethingness was constantly transforming. The nothingness was static and stood in opposition to what was changing. But I can see how another person could experience total no-self. Maybe they are correct.

I actually just read Leos opening post about demoting Nahm. I have to admit something though I mean no ill will towards Nahm. I noticed early on he was a respected member of the forum. As I have been increasing in my own awareness, reading books, contemplating, having awakenings and stuff I started to notice Nahms style of communication to not be helpful. The more aware and awake you are.... There should be a correlate of being personable, and people being able to speak to you and to find common ground. There have actually been many moments where I felt frustrated with this person because it was like "Yeah, sure, but don't you get the relative contextual situation I am in here at all?" Like, after a point I felt like I was talking to a wall of "Not this Not that" When reality actually "has this and that" and we need to be intelligent and emotionally intelligent enough to communicate with people at their level. It was a bit frustrating for me to read his responses to me at times. Though, yes he did help and at times gave good advice and was a great person to speak to. I like Nahm, but I do not like being spoken to in the way he often does on the forum. It's almost like... people can get so lost in a bubble of concepts (which is what I think is sort of ironic about Nahm) we get lost in these 'spiritual' concepts of "Nothingness" "No self" "Reality is imagination" that we sort of stunt our own intelligence to be human. I don't know what the right thing to do is/ way. But, I agree with Leo his frustrations. Reading the pms between the two of them was also very telling that Nahm could be lacking emotional or contextual awareness. There was times I would share an insight or awakening. He would be like "Thats just thoughts" or "Be like this forum member here" which I found difficult. I had to use these interacts to ground myself further into my own truth. I had to stop unconsciously giving my authority to 'Mods' or 'others' on the forum.

The way I understand it is that red is form and form is impermanent. I don’t know if I would call redness eternal. Redness is, as you show with that picture, not always present. But there is something (or actually nothing or nothingness) that is always present, which is awareness. That which is aware of redness is formless, outside of time and infinite. Which is kind of paradoxical because that which appears in awareness and awareness itself are apparently identical. But the eternal aspect, if I am correct, always stays the same. Its like the screen (shout out to Rupert Spira) that shows different colors. It changes form constantly, sometimes it appears red, sometimes green, but its always remains a screen.

okay, hold up, let's break it down, please. because I feel like you are saying the relative truth does not matter in that statement, but we just agreed that some things are unwise and some are wise. If I am not placing myself in a category and not thinking about my behavior as well as the impact, that would be unwise, would it not? I am choosing to listen to Leo over Connor for a reason or maybe listening to Conner can bring me to God just as much as Leo? Saying Leo is more awake than Connor is just as much conceptual category as anything... If I say God is all, then listening to Connor is just good as listening to Leo, but we agreed this is not the case. So God is not all of it so to speak, in a real relative way. God is something specific. He is not awake, but He is. Murdering an innocent baby is not going to bring me to God-realization, but cautiously doing psychedelics will. so in other words different behaviors/practices have different results right? Unless you are saying, that I can find God in the act murdering an innocent baby? Because if you are saying is that all relative acts are God, rather than the imagination of God - then this justifies cult leads who rape teens and pedophile priests who rape children. ------------ God is animalistic desire? how can that be if God is nothingness and needs nothing? Sex is imaginary, but God is not, right? ----- What we are speaking about is the crux/crossroad of my spiritual understanding, and it is the difference between hope/love and nihilism to me. Am I deluded with that statement? I'd like some clarification on those of you, who are further in the path than I. edit: moreover, I can see in a way that Leo is saying, it is wise, to accept oneself. But what if oneself is a rapist? then personal development is order, so its quite a paradox?

The void is just undifferentiated reality. Theres is no such thing as nothing and emptiness. If you experienced "nothingness" you were there to experience it so its not nothing. You can say "this room is empty, this cup is empty" but you know there's air. Same with outerspace "theres nothing in outerspace" but there is a bunch of electromagnetic radiation outside of the visible spectrum. Everything is full

If you have experienced the void and felt nothingness you have to recognize that you were there experiencing the nothingness yourself as that nothingness and tiny tiny voice and not the body.

Put simply, there is no experience at all. If people are describing something as being experiential, it’s not cessation. Fruition and nirodha samapatti are the two types of cessation typically discussed. They are only different in how one reaches the “state” of cessation. Fruition is usually spontaneous, and nirodha samapatti is when cessation is accessed through progressing through the first formed jhanas and four formless jhanas in order which can result in cessation. Nirodha samapatti is typically only seen as being done by people who have experienced at a minimum of three cessations but, in most cases, many more than that. From Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha by Daniel Ingram: “Fruition (phala in Pali) is the fruit of all the meditator’s hard work, the first attainment of ultimate reality, emptiness, nirvana, nibbana, ultimate potential, or whatever extrapolative and relatively inaccurate name you wish to call something utterly non-sensate. In this non-state, there is absolutely no time, no space, no reference point, no experience, no mind, no consciousness, no awareness, no background, no foreground, no nothingness, no somethingness, no body, no this, no that, no unity, no duality, and no anything else. “Reality” stops cold and then reappears. Thus, this is impossible to comprehend, as it goes completely and utterly beyond the rational mind and the universe. In “external time” (if we were observing the meditator) this stage typically lasts only an instant (though the question of “duration” will be addressed below). It is like an utter discontinuity of the space-time continuum with nothing in the unfindable gap, exactly like what happens when someone edits out a frame or sequence of frames of a movie. It is not that you see a blank screen for a while where they edited the frames out, instead that part of the movie is just not there. The initial aftershocks following the first time this happens at stream entry (or the first time it happens at the beginning of a higher level of awakening), however, can go on for days, and may be mild or spectacular, fun or unsettling, or some mixture of these. There are times when it is fun to show off, and this is one of those times. (Particularly mature? No. Honest? Yes.) Aftershocks I have noticed after paths include but are not limited to: • the brief visceral feeling that sensory reality is so intense that the nerves in the forehead and upper neck may not be able to handle the strain; • the feeling that new brain pathways are now being infused with vibrant life they lacked before, as if new nerve channels are tingling into life; • the feeling that we have become diffused into the atmosphere without a center, purpose, function, sense of direction, or even will; • a feeling of joy and gratitude bursting through our being beyond our usual sense of appreciation; • the sense of having at long last discovered what we most needed; • the profound sense of coming home, a quiet awe like the stillness after a great storm; • rapturous transcendent highs that make anything that happened after the A&P seem like dry toast; • the profound feeling that something pressed a reset button on reality, causing it to reboot as new, clean, clear, bright, pristine, and fresh. All that said, there are those who won’t recognize it, particularly those who chance upon it outside of a meditative tradition that can recognize it. There will also be those for whom it happens within the context of their practice tradition, who can recognize it, but who fail to identify it as being what it is. Sometimes the afterglow is not so spectacular, though for most the series of insights, connections, syntheses, and the like that burgeon forth is impressive. Others will just go on practicing, not realizing what has just happened. Just after the attainment of a path, particularly the first path, is a time when formal resolutions have an outrageous amount of power. The Buddha said that the greatest of all powers is to understand and then teach the dharma, meaning to attain full realization, however you define it, and then to help others do the same. I had been advised to use this unique period in my practice well, and I resolved to attain this awakening for the benefit of all beings as quickly as was reasonably possible. Despite all the complex consequences of having done so, I do not regret my decision in the least and highly recommend that you do the same. On subsequent passes through Fruition of that path, the mind tends to be refreshed, bright, quiet, and clear for a while, and milder forms of the above-listed phenomena may occur. The afterglow can seem to clear out all the junk for a little while. There is a nice bliss wave that tends to follow and may take a few seconds to develop. You can take that bliss wave as a shamatha object if you wish and intensify it, as a possible option. If you have not learned the concentration states yet, doing so in the afterglow of a Fruition can make them much easier to attain and master. The breath may change on the reappearance of “reality”, being a bit deeper, slower, easier, and more fluid. The total synchrony of the sense sphere that leads to a Fruition shows a fun physiological fact: Fruitions always occur at the end of the out-breath, and reality always reappears at the beginning of the in-breath, which is one of the cool reasons that finding the end of the out-breath can be powerful practice. For those who really want to get to know something interesting, notice exactly how reality reappears or re-manifests, and how the mental processes resume at an extremely fine level. This is best done by intending to notice it some time before the Fruition happens. Most people who have a Fruition are so relieved by it that the relief is most of what they notice, but those who can pay attention to more detail than that and do this well are afforded a rare treat—getting to see the processes that make up the functioning of our brains as they come online and orient to the surroundings, as well as to see the restarting of the sense of the illusion of duality, and exactly what makes that up in that powerfully clear attentional mode. It is fascinating stuff, and can lead to some serious clues about essential parts of the puzzle that help later. I recommend doing this again and again, as it generally takes going through it a good number of times to see what is really happening clearly and notice the assumptions we make about those processes and how they relate to things like “me”, “time”, “space”, and the like. Please note that there are at least two uses for the term nibbana, one of which is Fruition. The reference for this comes from the Abhidhamma or higher (abhi) dhamma (“teachings”, in this context), accessible in English as A Comprehensive Manual of Abhidhamma, by Narada Maha Thera, available free online and in print form. This is the standard Theravada literature on Buddhist mind-moment (Pali javana) theory and many other technical points, and it details that there will be three or four pulses of phenomena (typically called javanas, or “mind-moments”, “impulsions”, or dhammas) which, when they occur the first time, are Conformity, Path, and Change of Lineage, and then the mind will turn to nibbana and then the stream of ordinary sensate awareness will resume. [See A Comprehensive Manual of Abhidhamma, III §8 (12), p. 124, for more.] For those who actually do check out the Abhidhamma, which is a very good idea if you want to give more context, background, and support to your practice, you will notice that some of the biology seems pretty archaic, so don’t get derailed by that. The meditation theory remains quite helpful. Those who sometimes mention online and in person to me that they think that Mahasi Sayadaw or I made up this stuff about the ñanas, jhanas, stages, or other Buddhist theory, should read the Abhidhamma, or get your practice to the point where you yourself can perceive directly what these early followers of the Buddha perceived, and you will be satisfied by direct knowledge. At that point, the texts those followers wrote might make a lot more sense to you, and you may gain even more benefits by appreciating them based on your own practice instead of dismissing them based on ignorance.” Also from MCTB: “Then there is an attainment called “the cessation of perception and feeling” (Pali: nirodha samapatti, henceforth NS, or simply nirodha in my general way of speaking) that is hard to classify. The word “nirodha” (meaning “cessation”) is also sometimes used without the qualifier “samapatti” to refer to Fruition, so be careful to keep your terms straight when reading the old texts or speaking with others about these subjects. I always mean the cessation of perception and feeling when I use the word “nirodha”, but others often do not and may mean Fruition. This is the highest of the temporary attainments. It is discussed in multiple places, including sutta 44, “The Shorter Series of Questions and Answers”, from The Middle Length Discourses of the Buddha, in a talk given by a female arahant named Dhammadinna, and Path to Deliverance by Nyanatiloka, which draws from that fine text. You can also find it in commentaries, such as the Visuddhimagga, XXIII, 16, as well as in the last few pages of the Vimuttimagga. By the commentarial criteria at least, it can be attained only by anagamis and arahants who also have mastery of the formless jhanas. This attainment cannot be said to be either a state or not a state, nor can it be said to be strictly a concentration or an insight attainment, as it is attained by a fusion of both shamatha and vipassana and since it lacks a sensate basis for analysis, meaning there is no experience at all that can be analyzed, as perception and feeling have stopped. We attain NS by fusing insight and concentration practices in a gentle way that is much less precise than if we wanted to attain Fruition, as well as much less concentration-heavy than we would use if we were doing pure jhana practice. I find it slightly easier to attain NS when reclining, but the first time I attained it I was sitting. We rise through the shamatha jhanas in a low-key way with some light awareness of their true nature (the three characteristics), and then enter the eighth jhana (Neither Perception Nor Non-Perception), and then emerge from that state to that magical post-eighth junction point from which we might also attain the pure abodes. Technically, in the old texts we find that there are a few other points of set-up that we might do before this, including to make sure that we are not going to die before the state ends, resolving to wake up if summoned by the sangha, and some other minor details, but I have not found them necessary. Sometime shortly thereafter, and without warning or a very recent premeditation, we may suddenly enter the cessation of perception and feeling, or we might not, depending on whether we have met the entrance criteria and are not inclining to anything else. Please note that previous interest in attaining this during the preceding days or weeks tends to increase the chances of this attainment occurring, as do resolutions just before starting the ascent from the first through the eighth jhanas. As we get better at attaining this, we can slip in the inclination (resolution, intention) to attain it after emerging from the eighth jhana and then forget about it before dropping in. There is really nothing that can be said about this attainment, except for things that relate to entering, exiting, and the consequences of the attainment, all of which are unique to nirodha. The texts rightly say that, upon entering nirodha, verbal formations cease first, then physical sensations, then the whole of mental functioning ceases when the attainment is fully entered. This is traditionally explained as correlating to the first jhana, the fourth jhana, and then the entrance into nirodha, respectively. However, you may notice that in the three moments before cessation of perception sets in (during the complete power failure–like entrance) verbal formations, bodily formations, and mental formations cease in that order also in three consecutive and distinct moments, with the whole entrance taking about one-third of a second, like someone threw the master dimmer/power switch on sensate reality all the way down and the whole thing just shut off. The texts may have a double meaning, or may have been misinterpreted by scholars who had never themselves attained nirodha samapatti. I say this because it is still typical for bodily and verbal formations to arise between the eighth jhana and the entrance to NS, and thus the traditional interpretation does not hold up in experience. The texts also say that this attainment may last seven days or even longer (some say up to ten days), but I don’t personally know of anyone who has admitted to this occurring in their experience. That doesn’t mean it can’t happen, but it would probably require a long and sustained retreat beforehand to generate the necessary stability and stillness of mind. The duration of such attainments will be related directly to our concentration abilities, and these are very dependent upon practice conditions and how much concentration abilities have recently been exercised. Please also note that, like Fruition, there is no experience at all during NS. There is no time, no space, no something, no nothing, not anything at all. Just as a desktop computer shuts down totally when you press the power button, so too with anything to do with experience in NS. I have friends who have talked about something they got into where they could still feel time passing, and that is definitely not it. NS is like the ultimate rest for the mind, something far beyond even deep sleep, as even a few seconds in it leaves one with a massive feeling of having gone extremely deep in a way nothing else can match. Unlike Fruition, we exit this attainment in the reverse way we came in, with mental formations arising first, quickly followed by physical and then verbal formations in the characteristic analogue way of the entrance and with the same timing, like throwing on a big dimmer switch in about one-third of a second. After leaving this attainment, the mind tends to be a remarkable mixture of deeply peaceful while very clear, and our body tends to be very relaxed. The longer the attainment lasted, the stronger and longer-lingering this effect will be. I have found it to be by far the most impressive, long-lasting, and heavy of the afterglows of the various attainments, and have noted feeling the effects of it for up to about twenty-four hours afterwards. From my point of view, the whole point of attaining to NS (other than learning the level of control needed to attain to it, which has it own rewards for other avenues of spiritual development—and for just showing off and proving you can do it—is the amazing afterglow. Thus, I would not recommend attaining this immediately before entering into situations that require quick decisions or actions, such as driving in complex traffic. The texts say that we incline to solitude or quiet after attaining this state, and in general I agree. Loud noises and jarring situations can be particularly so after NS. Its afterglow is very conducive to deep relaxation, deep practice, deep insight, and deep magickal workings—that is if you can get up the emotional energy to care at all about those workings in the face of that stunningly chill afterglow. I talk about the powers later so, if the topic of magick bothers you, just pretend I didn’t write that. Say, “La, la, la, la, la …” in your head to clear the memory of it, or whatever. While I am nervous about the current trend to use meditation to create more productive, compliant, and docile worker-bees, I must admit that studying for my emergency medicine board exam one day in the afterglow of NS was like a dream come true. I could steadily plow through hundreds of pages for hours and hours with vastly less mental fatigue than I would have had in any other state I am familiar with. Aside from nirodha samapatti’s importance due to being included in some system’s criteria for various stages of awakening, it is worth mentioning this attainment because it is found today by real, living practitioners but has often been relegated to the realm of myth and legend or has been ignored or even forgotten entirely. It is not that nirodha samapatti is necessary, but it is a good and useful thing to be able to attain. In fact, I have not yet spoken with anyone who had attained it who didn’t consider it the absolute King Daddy of meditation attainments other than arahantship, as the depth of its afterglow never fails to impress and amaze. Hopefully, mentioning it will raise the standard to which people feel they can reasonably aspire, which is basically the whole goal of this book. One more little morsel for you brave adventurers … I have noticed that the easiest time to attain NS is usually a few weeks after attaining a path, when the vipassana jhana aspect of the progress of insight is becoming clear and a nice degree of mastery has been attained in that Review phase. However, it has this nice/nasty habit of helping to precipitate a new progress cycle, as the level of clarity gained in its wake is impressive, and clarity furthers insight. Thus, we may go from the best highs of a Review phase and NS’s glorious afterglow to the third ñana, A&P, and the Dark Night quickly. In fact, this seems to be a very natural part of many cycles of anagamis who also know the eight jhanas and how to ride the line between concentration and insight practices. One word of warning: NS’s afterglow is so extreme that it is easy to imagine that one has attained some new level of awakening, as the mind feels very, very different after NS has occurred, and residual hindrances and negative mind states may be very far away. Wait at least a few days after any dive into NS to see how those changes hold up in the face of the world before starting to draw any conclusions. I must say, there is something truly fairy-tale wonderful about NS. That you can pick up a book from about 2,000 years ago that gives complex instructions like some weird recipe for something you can do with your brain that you would have otherwise been extremely unlikely to know as even being possible, and that you can follow those instructions and they can actually work, blew my doors off the first time I did it. This stuff is just amazing! Yay, dharma!“

@SQAAD Well Leo also said to go by personal experiences. All of mine have been extremely Vedic, which is that all is Brahman, but they do have an "Atman". Atman IS Brahman. Brahman is without attribute. Buddhist "Sunyata" yes, and the obvious changing of all form including all forms which constitute my ego. But very heavily Vedic... I find Rupert Spira's discussions are closer to helping me relive and understand what I experienced. I find Leo's discussions to get to me more on an intellectual level. I definitely identify when he talks about nothingness though. I wonder what your own experiences tell you?

Greg: So then what are the other types of consciousness? We have Pattern Holder, Observer, Interventionist, and Consciousness Construct. What else? Spirit Guide: I can tell you these things but it won’t do them justice just to label them and this is not the time for a full discussion of them either. Greg: Alright. Then just tell me what you do. What does YOUR job description entail? Spirit Guide: Ah! I have a very interesting job. Given a full understanding of my job you will reach a new understanding of your life. I think you will find it interesting indeed and it will elucidate much for you. You’ll be pleased, therefore, to know that this will be the subject of our next communication. And, of course, the timing is perfect. The next communication will be my last with you and we will be finishing my section with the completion of the answer to that question. Greg: And no more? Spirit Guide: Well, you shall unfortunately have to wait. A new guide will appear in your life when you are ready, as the saying goes. What I have sought to do thus far is to describe to you the dimensional structure of your greater reality in such a way that you can understand it. I have, therefore, discussed with you the way you might personally experience each dimension. I have now also explained to you that there might be some very different ways to experience these same dimensions and that the one perspective does not invalidate the other it only adds to it. What I did not try to do is to describe the dimensions in terms of the hard and definite edges of mathematics. It is the norm in your current culture to see the dimensions as the purview of scientists and mathematicians. But it is far more suited to my purposes to bring to the subject the awareness that your whole reality is composed of consciousness and that one cannot remove the observer from the experience. Without the observer there is nothing. And you, all of you, are Observers. And to bring this home I spoke in the most personal terms possible – the way you would possibly observe your own experiences in the various dimensions. And so I believe I have acquitted myself quite well of the task of describing to you in simple, understandable terms what you might find at each of the dimensions. Greg: Wow, yes, I certainly think you have! And I really enjoyed this description of yours. It was so much richer in meaning for me than I anticipated it being. Thank you! But there is one thing I am still wondering about. You closed each description of each dimension with a shape. 0D was a point, 1D was a line, 2D a flat shape and so on. All except The Dimension of Oneness. Is there no shape for it? Spirit Guide: Yes, there most certainly is! And it is very easy to describe too. The shape for The Dimension of Oneness is – are you ready for it – a point! A singular, imaginary point of nothingness which contains everything. It is a point in which depth, width and height have no meaning. The Dimension of Oneness is the same as 0D because it IS 0D. Greg: Of course it is! That is poetic and perfect. I love it! Spirit Guide: And so we have come full circle, have we not? We have ended where we began. But, as we do, so we realize we have changed and grown for the fact that we have gone around the circle. And so we are not at EXACTLY the same place as we began. It is therefore not a circle we have travelled but a spiral. What fun! Shall we begin another spiral loop? We'll talk about densities next. Greg: Excellent. You said these were experienced within myself. But I must say the dimensions, the way you describe them, seemed to be all about my experience anyway. Spirit Guide: It is the difference between inner-experience and outer-experience. You’ll see what I mean. February 18th, 2022.

"Again" Interesting choice "what was said was "all answered by awakening." - that is one of the many comments offered my friend. Seems like you would have enough insight to realize, if "all answered by awakening" was enough then we wouldn't need this forum. There would be a static page that says, "awakening answers all" or something. Here is paradoxical nature, it isn't that awakening doesn't answer all, it does, but part of the awakening process is the discussions and events along the way. For the seeker that has already realized the power of awakening, your comments are more like a buzzing fly or having your nose rubbed in it. There is a desire for substance, please provide something with texture and grit. I wonder if you are hesitant due to the vulnerable position it would put you in. Once you step away from these safe vague comments you put yourself in a position to be challenged, fairly or unfairly. All good, ultimately this is about my lack of interest in quips that don't really contribute much, over the top obvious, elementary in nature. Anyway, I will openly welcome the nothingness of your somethingness. My apologies, and appreciation.

Beautiful response. I can see that we may have to put great effort to stop believing the thoughts such as with meditation, as thoughts are like conjecture and not the full picture, the Enlightened One. Time/past/death are thoughts, ideas. But if we have no thoughts, it is like there is nothing to experience other than nothingness so I can see that it can be nice to experience both listening and not listening to thoughts. So basically any structure of reality that we come up with is a thought and is not necessarily it, including time, start, end. I am no expert but I decided to give some suggestions too. You could look at it as there is only one universal self and that within that universal self, you could look at it that there are a bunch of selves and you, as a human, are just one of them You are the one that does those things. You could create some thoughts to create your own identity (and sense of self) as identity is basically made and exists by thoughts. We don't really know if we exist or not but we can't prove it one way or the other and it kinda doesn't matter - even if this universe is imaginary, we imagine and feel like we are here. The feeling better refers to you. You have power and control. Use your hand and pick something up or wave your hand back and forth - you can do that. You can tell yourself that you will shut one eye and you can get your eye to shut. You were able to get on the computer and type a message using sentences. You choose to feel better and meditate. There is you to meditate. We have thoughts that think about thoughts and use that to come up with more thoughts and we listen to it and it is like watching tv where we forget we are watching tv and we start believing what we are seeing and start crying when the actor is crying or when our thoughts are sad. We start believing every thought we have as that is the main show on and we are giving it our attention. We think a sad thought and then we decide to cry and then our crying reinforces the idea we should be sad and maybe we stop believing and then stop crying. We don't have to believe the thoughts. We can change our thoughts/activities if we want to do that and if we think that that is to cure something or feel better. If it is too confusing, you could have the duality of entire Self and individual selves in various bodies. Ask why you are feeling fear - what about trying to seek calmness and accept things for how they are as they are and try to make peace. Maybe try to quiet the thoughts and peace will arise. Maybe try other ways to think about separate self. Sometimes we can't really solve something and we just have to be okay with it. We have power and also don't have power. Ah well I hope things get better for you!

He is stating clearly that he realized everyone (such as you and me) are imaginary p-zombies. He's being very clear. Read between the lines, he's talking to himself. He does not believe you are reading anything he's posting or watching any video he makes. I also took shit tonnes of drugs, nothing like that occurred, and it also never occured to Buddha or w.e. The usual mystic solipsism differs from Leo's, as they concede others are not p-zombies, but merely that the experiences of others are had by their Self or nothingness, depending on tradition as there's no-self in Buddhism.

I don't want to make this a full trip report and describe the entire thing. But basically, I took one puff of a disposable vape pen like this one: And depersonalized / derealized / dissociated (idk what the technical term would be) for like 3 hours. This was a grey market vape pen (weed is legal here, but only through government-run or approved dispensaries) so it's possible it contained synthetic cannabinoids like spice or something crazy. But I had a very similar experience with 100% for sure pure/authentic THC oil from the government before as well. The seller seemed reputable and had lots of positive reviews from this product that seemed like they were from real people. In a place where weed is legal, I don't think they can get away with cutting their product with fake stuff nowadays. So I'm pretty convinced it was pure THC and I guess weed is just not for me. The main thing that really freaked me out was... it was like I was following myself a split second after the fact. And I could jump between being slightly behind myself, in the present moment, or slightly in the future. I guess my main concern is... if I react this badly to cannabis, am I going to have a similar experience with mushrooms or DMT? I thought I was just going to relax a little bit as an introduction to mind-altering substances but I blasted all the way off the deep end into insanity. I haven't done mushrooms before, but this is literally what I would've expected a 3+ gram or more mushroom trip to feel like. I had to lay in bed in the dark listening to music to try and hold onto the present moment, and every 10 minutes at a time felt like an hour. I had maybe 20% positive and 80% negative from it. I think I felt what Nothingness is at one point, and absolute bliss at another point. But then waves of feeling terrible would always come back and took up a lot more of the time. This CAN'T be what taking 1 hit of weed feels like to normal people. There's no way Elon Musk could do a podcast in this state, there's no way Snoop Dogg could record music in this state. I couldn't do this and then play video games and just chill out. I'm wondering what it all means... Does cannabis just not agree with me? Is the plant trying to tell me I'm not ready? Is being this sensitive a sign of spiritual development, or a lack of spiritual development? Should I still try mushrooms or DMT to see if I react better to them? Or is this a sign my mind is too weak and if I try a more potent substance I may permanently go insane? After being in that state I definitely have a newfound appreciation for being sober and living in reality. I don't want to go back there any time soon.

Can anyone confirm that when physical death occurs (imaginary physical death of the imaginary physical body) which one of the following happens: A) An infinite eternal black void of Nothingness Unity for ever (never again its imagined a material illusion with duality ?) B) A can happen (or not) But just for some time. Then another "Life" its imagined and i get to play the illusion again. (All the circunstances change, of course). IMO, option A) would be more closer to What mainstream culture thinks What Death is. Yes, there is still awareness But there wouldnt be any illusion anymore (which was the whole point of Life ?). So It would be basically like being dead :facepalm: Option B) would be better... But just shoot me with the Truth.

The black border exists as nothingness, there is no such thing as non-existence. There can be no bubble of consciousness because everything outside the bubble is consciousness too. You're using the bubble and the border to distinguish between form and formlessness, but it is all consciousness and existence.

Did you take psychedelics yet? if you take them a coupe of times and have binged enough non-dual content you will surely understand what we mean by nothingness and your true self, and then you will not need to sell your business and retreat in a mountain or something, this work can be done in less than a year if you really want.

If you successfully exhaust all the fulfilling of all the maslow hierarchy of needs the only one more thing that you can do in this life is to awaken, if you successfully awaken to nothingness it will be revealed to you that the only thing that you want is to be more present. And then, you can still enjoining your business if is that what you really want, The final point of life its nothing more than play and explore your infinite creation.

"Noticing The External World Doesn't Exist" That is obvious, as you know everything you have ever known or ever could know is a projection of your own mind. Anything that's a "thing" will always rely on some form of perception. Perception is what gives things thing-ness. Without perception everything is nothingness, like how mathematics is not made of some sort of "substance". There IS no substance at all. There is only apparent substance (thing-ness) by perception.

Do you catch yourself dreaming? Are you aware that: That life of yours is just another dream, within a field of Infinite dreams? But you are holding this dream more dear so you have a ground to stand on? This is just pure magic. Look at "your" hands. Look at everything around you. Its just pure magic. Its amazing. There is nothing here. But yet it seems and "appears" to be "something" "here". Everything is made of the same substance: Consciousness and Awareness. This cannot be "experienced" or summoned through an intellectual process. The mind has to be silent for this to be seen/witnessed. But yet, what is processing this "Nothing" in to "Something", is precisely the Mind. Its so twisted... but so perfect. So beautiful. Our attachments to thoughts, feelings, emotions, senses and our own perspective: Are precisely that which makes this dream in to a solid Reality. But if "we" loosen up these attachments, then there wont be anything holding "your"/"our" awareness, "here". Your dream becomes looser and looser. Question is: What is "outside" this dream? Is it just pure Nothingness? In one of my recent trips (20mg 2CB), I noticed reality breaking down. (Not in a dramatic way) But it was as if everything was "dissapearing" through "my" perspective. It was as if Everything I tied to this dream: Was just being erased with "me" dissapearing. Moments before "experience" of "No-Thing" I heard a laugh with a deep voice, in slow-motion. And with my eyes closed, I looked at it, and the first thing that came to me was: Self-Deception. Gods Infinite Trick, on Her/Himself. But there was so much Love within my heart, and my hands were radiating with love and heat, that I couldnt do anything else but to laugh at that deep voice (Instead of being scared or frightened by it). At that moment "I" dissapeared. There was nothing. No sense of I, no sense of reality, no sense of anything whatsoever. While it was happening, there were NO experience, nor any experiencer of "this" whatsoever. Not in the way we would think an experience would be. And only when "I" came back, did "I" realize I was "gone"... Its as if: When you are "Nothing" you dont "know" that you are "No-Thing", until "you" become "something". Then you can realize what "No-Thing" is. Its like a superthin veil inbetween these two sides. And whenever "you" jump between the two sides, you forget completely Everything you knew from "your" previous side.

Session Eight: 35 minutes. Peace. Stillness. Today I was filled with doubt about God and Oneness. Little glimpses of God structure gave these doubts a little slap with the back hand No deep and clear memory flashbacks this time. But had many interesting ideas and plans what to do with this wonderful moment. Ideas were mostly about food like to prepare and stuff I want to do in the gym. Sounds petty, but thats what makes enjoyable for me right now. Happiness. At the end I "dropped" under my perception of reality and felt this surrounding nothingness in and around me. Reality was just this thing in front of me, which is contained in nothingness.

@Judy2 I don't see how this relates to finite consciousness or infinite consciousness. Realizing No-Self/Nothingness can still perfectly be explained in the materialistic paradigm. Infinity cant, hence the post above.

The thing is, if that is what he thinks then you have direct evidence that he has gone crazy, of course, as you are aware. I noticed in his video he maybe was using time in an odd way, and just a few things that he said made it unclear. Which sucked because I wanted his clear opinion on whether he believes in NPCs or merely every experience being had by the same nobody. When he said for example, that others are not seeing simultaneously to you. Well, simultaneous kind of works within the confines of time. As we actually experience time, we only experience "now", and in our experience, that "now" moment changes in content. If you were at the beach a week ago, that experience is being had "now" just like whatever content has filled that space. If you had no memory of that event, and no ego, that experience could as well be ascribed to another individual. There is no difference between an experience you had but don't remember, and another person's experience in this moment... As it is all "now" and simultaneous as such. It is the apparent passage of time that spreads it out like the pages of a flickbook when the entire flickbook exists as a single unit, already whole and complete. In terms of NPCs, when you look at a person, everything about them is a construction of mind, their appearance is a hallucination, etc etc. Their true "appearance" is nothingness. As there is not really anything "out there". Also true when you see your own face in a mirror. The person in the mirror does not have experience from the side of the mirror, no image has experience and all people including your own reflection are images. All experience takes place in the same HERE and NOW. Literally the "perspective" from which you view everything is the same precise location from which the images of other people standing in front of you also see the world from... But to confine it to one ego etc, it is very peculiar. It's more like all people are you experiencing the world (also you - nothingness) via different masks and egos built upon a story of memories. You are experiencing me typing this in the same way you experienced an event you remember from last week. It is all now, all simultaneous.

I only came here due to drug revelations, it is the sole reason I have any interest in nonduality at all. The trips I had strip ego and do all sorts of bizarre things alien to our daily lives. I think very mentally unwell people seeking "help" from spirituality will probably just drive themselves into psychosis. As such if you need advice you should probably see a medically trained psychiatrist. I don't believe OCD and schizophrenic people read some "spiritual" stuff and are suddenly well. The highest I ever got was taking 5 hits of acid and then smoking a breakthrough dose of DMT at the peak. That is when I reached a place where the ego was left behind, and coming back from that were several realizations... E.g. the irony of monks meditating for their entire lives, when all monk-ness to that monk is just part of the separate self, and in actuality that monk is equal to a murderer child rapist junkie, because it is just existence itself and alone. The monk and murderer and all of that, is like a mask on top of pure being that falls away like all things. That is the type of solipsism I encountered personally. That is the type of solipsism discussed by figures like Rupert Spira, and ancient mystics. "No others" is not meant to mean that everyone is an NPC but you. That is when the ego, which is of course limited (ALL appearances are finite, infinity = nothingness substantially) attempts to comandeer control of the infinite. Which is impossible because it's like a character on a screen trying to somehow comandeer control of the screen. Appearance trying to somehow become the infinite which is inherently total nothingness, non-appearance. It's just an appearance, zero causative power of any kind!!!!

I've done more than enough. Solipsism where every experience is had by you, is not equivalent to NPC theories. This is the only thing that matters when discussing solipsism, and it was not addressed. Or it was hinting at NPC theories. There is not any sound reasoning to believe in NPC type solipsism at all. This is not the same as your girlfriend being made of nothingness, this is not the same as your girlfriend's thoughts being had by you...

This dream is one of materialism, it functions precisely as such. Materialism only fails when trying to propose an external world or that materialism creates consciousness itself. However the brain is absolutely and certainly attached to certain happenings like memory and ego. Altering the brain can destroy those things, that is why we take drugs which alter the functioning of the brain. It is not of consequence that brains are made of no substance at all, or that there is no substance PERIOD (which is true, there is no such thing as a substance, just nothingness appearing as everything), it still functions as such. The solipsism Leo is going into right now is not the type of solipsism which might be discussed by Buddha, Spira, whatever other figure. It's not the usual non-duality from 5-MeO-DMT. That's why he says it's way beyond normal "awakening", he's been doing other "weird" drugs and having "conversations with God". He's had a 5-MeO-MALTdown...