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You do a ton of spiritual practice for years and make yourself accident prone to cessation/fruition/nirodha samapatti. https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iv-insight/30-the-progress-of-insight/15-fruition/ https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-vi-my-spiritual-quest/54-the-middle-paths/nirodha-samapatti/ Fruition is quite easy compared to attaining nirodha samapatti. It just kind of happens out of nowhere after doing enough practice and developing yourself or you could better say undeveloping your”self”. It took an already awakened medical doctor like 50 attempts of one hour or so a piece to reach nirodha samapatti which the Buddha said is the highest temporary spiritual attainment in life. Other than that, only parinibbana is better in Buddhism. Fruition and nirodha samapatti both produce the same insight potentially if viewed correctly which is deep insight into the existence vs. nonexistence duality that someone without that direct non-experience cannot possibly have in its maturity. Doesn’t matter how many planets you can create at will on 5-MeO DMT — that’s still just maya and the dream, albeit a fun side quest to unlock.

There’s nothing for direct experience supposedly although many yogis and other awakened people see there to be some remnant of consciousness in such cases in the gap. A tricky epistemic issue in some ways. Especially when you add in ideas of cessation which causes some of the largest permanent shifts in baseline consciousness but is supposedly the closest thing to nonexistence in many people’s opinions.

In the knowledge of the Atman, which is the dark night to the ignorant, the recollected mind is fully awake and aware. The ignorant are awake in their sense-life, which is darkness to the sage. Bhagavad Gita ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You are dreaming that you are unenlightened. You are dreaming that you are awake. The question is: Why? The answer is: Why not? paradox is normal in the sleep state “The ‘I’ casts off the illusion of ‘I’ and yet remains as ‘I’. Such is the paradox of Self-realization. The realized do not see any contradiction in it.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "All paradox lies with the unawakened state. The awakened don’t have something that the unawakened are missing, it’s the other way around. The unawakened possess massive structures of false belief. They create and maintain these vast realms of past, present and future;" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "The price of truth is everything. The price of truth is nothing. This is another way of stating the gateless gate paradox. From the unawakened side, the gate blocking one from enlightenment is enormous and impassable. Delusion fills one’s entire field of view because it resides prior to perception. Once delusion has been destroyed, we see that it never really existed." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Die while you’re alive and be absolutely dead. Then do whatever you want: it’s all good. Bunan ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The great path has no gates, thousands of roads enter it. When you pass through this gateless gate you walk the universe alone. Mumon ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Because of an innocent misunderstanding you think that you are a human being in the relative world seeking the experience of oneness, but actually you are the One expressing itself as the experience of being a human being.” ? Adyashanti ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I ask you only to stop imagining that you were born, have parents, are a body, will die and so on. Just try, make a beginning – it is not as hard as you think. Nisargadatta Maharaj ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If the eye never sleeps, all dreams will naturally cease. If the mind makes no discriminations, the ten thousand things are as they are, of single essence. To understand the mystery of this One-essence is to be released from all entanglements. When all things are seen equally the timeless Self-essence is reached. No comparisons or analogies are possible in this causeless, relationless state. Sosan ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There seem to be two kinds of searchers: those who seek to make their ego something other than it is, i.e. holy, happy, unselfish (as though you could make a fish unfish), and those who understand that all such attempts are just gesticulation and play-acting, that there is only one thing that can be done, which is to disidentify themselves with the ego, by realising its unreality, and by becoming aware of their eternal identity with pure being. Wei Wu Wei ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you're not amazed at how naive you were yesterday, You are standing still. If you're not terrified of the next step, You're eyes are closed. If you're standing still and your eyes are closed, Then you're dreaming that you're awake. A caged bird in a boundless sky. -Jed McKenna ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In all ten directions of the universe, there is only one truth. When we see clearly, the great teachings are the same. What can ever be lost? What can be attained? If we attain something, it was there from the beginning of time. If we lose something, it is hiding somewhere near us. Look: Th is ball in my pocket: can you see how priceless it is? ~Ryokan ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue. ~Antisthenes ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Suffering just means you’re having a bad dream. Happiness means you’re having a good dream. Enlightenment means getting out of the dream altogether.” “The point is to wake up, not to earn a Ph.D. In waking up.” “It is your show. It is your universe. There is no one else here, just you, and nothing is being withheld from you. You are completely on your own. Everything is available for direct knowing. No one else has anything you need. No one else can lead you, pull you, push you or carry you.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “The bottom line remains the same: you’re either awake or you’re not.One day, there it is. Nothing. No more enemies, no more battles.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I don’t have something you don’t; you believe something I don’t.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “It’s ego – the false self – that exalts the guru and declares the teaching sacred, but nothing is exalted or sacred, only true or not true.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Enlightenment is the unprogrammed state.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Wake up first. Wake up, and then you can double back and perhaps be of some use to others if you still have the urge. Wake up first, with pure and unapologetic selfishness, or you’re just another shipwreck victim floundering in the ocean and all the compassion in the world is of absolutely no use to the other victims floundering around you.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “All fear is ultimately fear of no-self.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “The one and only truth of any person lies like a black hole at their very core, and everything else – EVERYTHING else – is just the rubbish and debris that covers the hole. Of course, to someone who’s just going about their normal human existence undistracted by the larger questions, that rubbish and debris is everything that makes them who they are. But to someone who wants to get to the truth, who they are is what’s in the way. All fear is ultimately fear of this inner black hole, and nothing on this side of that hole is true. The process of achieving enlightenment is about the breaking through the blockage and stepping through the hole.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Maybe you think death is the opposite of life, or that all this death-awareness stuff translates into the end of happiness and good times, but this is not the case. Death isn't morbid, fear is morbid. Death doesn't oppose life, fear opposes life. To close your eyes to death is to close them to life: what could be more morbid than that? From your perspective, death and suicide are horrific and unthinkable. From my perspective, they are empowering and lifeaffirming. and I would look at any person that doesn't have an open, honest relationship with these subjects as themselves nine parts dead.”

Wow… WOW! Your use of the term “psychic attack” leads me to believe that you’ve read (or studied) the “Ra Material” (https://www.lawofone.info/) — you experienced “higher-density entities” which may be called “negative friends” or companions; they are “extraterrestrial” in the strict sense that they biologically originated on a separate planet, yet no longer inhabit biochemical bodies as we do (they inhabit what one might call an “electrical body”). I deeply empathize with this experience, as I felt something stunningly similar while on a heavier dose of mushrooms. I’ll share soon. The entities contacting/greeting/attacking me were just as forceful, if not even more so. I actually blacked/passed out! I almost relinquished myself! At that time in my life, I was desperately seeking money and, during this trip, I actually tried to “materialize” money into my own hands (I know, I know). I attracted a static-y wasplike voice (or set of voices) which began coaching/counseling me on “how to do it”. I was susceptible, and I obeyed. I awakened from my black-out to a room coated (in fact, festooned) with glowing soft white patches humming with an angelic “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” — I could not help but weep and rapidly repeat “thank you, I love you” maybe 20-30 times. I’ll detail the full story soon (maybe tonight), just as an ode and thanks to yours. Thank you. You/We/All are God! ALL IS ONE!!!!

Insights about Love, Manifestation, Teaching, Reality, Sexuality, Personal Development, Shrooms, and more. December 27th 2021 Dosage: 2 grams of African Transkei strain mushroom, these are regarded for potency and high visuals. So I'm definitely testing it out. Now that I'm writing this in the future, I would say that the Penis Envy Stain is stronger. Taken at 11:21AM as a lemon tek tea, and I also grounded the shroom with a coffee grinder such that it's a fine POWDER. I added the lemon juice, let sit for 5 mins, added water boiled from the kettle, let it soak for 20 minutes, and then strained and discarded the solid bits. Doing it this way makes the trip hit really fast and really hard. My initial Intentions: What is Clarity? What is Curiosity? What is Creativity? Ideas for my business. >These intentions weren't seriously held, and as a result I actually ended up thinking about what was already on my mind. And that led to some different insights that were also very valuable. 17 min Starting to feel the onset 21 min Getting dizzy 24min Yawns, so many yawns. I need to premeditate my intentions for like 5 minutes focus before I take it. >This was me reflecting on my crappy intention setting skills. 26 min Feeling a massive body come up >I get an amazing body high, like a bunch of vines are growing in my body like a parasite and constricting me, taking hold of me. Designs on a Tapestry moving 30 min Heavy body load 39 min Tingling in my fingers and my limbs 39 min Tingling in my fingers and my limbs 45 min Yawning and tired like crazy. You can have unwanted imagination, like looking at your cute dog and imagining it getting skinned down to a skeleton. >Yeah, so your imagination on shrooms is supercharged and effortless in this way. 55 min Giggly >I'd say the majority of the trip lasted 5-7 hours. Duality needs to be created to maximize the love of the universe. I want to love everything that I've created. (as God) >Note that I have zero awakenings or even mystical experiences yet. I have yet to even realize baby insights like no-self. Life is learning about how to love. I teach people how to love their ideal self. To love discipline. To love routine. To love excellence. To love the idea of destroying their perceived barriers between the story of who they think they are now and the story of their ideal self. To love the action of suffering through a very challenging practice routine. To love doing the shadow work they need to do to rid their addictions To love being curious about life in order to find what they're authentically passionate learning about. To love the idea of healing their past and rewriting their story to become their ideal self. etc. I think the archetype of Shrooms is love. I initially saw shrooms as a tool of catharsis, but now I see that the catharsis is a byproduct of the mechanism of love at work. Shrooms fudge your boundaries of reality, which is a collapsing of dualities, which is love. All insights come from love. (When it comes to the topic of manifestation) You ARE IT! YOU ARE ALREADY WHAT YOU MANIFEST! YOU JUST MAKE ACTIONS TO PROVE IT! I understand what they mean now with Manifestation. You are ALREADY the person you ought to be. Imagine this. You are actually someone from another dimension that has already accomplished all the things you've wanted to. But now you've been transported into this body, into this universe, and now you simply have to prove you're already the case. You need to rewrite the books, redo the consciousness work, redo the speaking practice, and you doing this is just you proving that you are already it. It comes from a deep place of love. You become a fountain of love by loving your ideal self much that you are already it, and then from that place, you simply are spilling yourself out, and you transform through that process. That transformation IS the manifestation process. You shapeshift. You have to demand more of yourself to manifest it into actuality. That is precisely how you grow, out of nothingness, you demand more. You summon more of yourself! A visionary leader is someone who demands more from other people. They LITERALLY SEE your potential manifested in this moment right now.a I see you, the reader, as extremely intelligent. I see you as one that's capable of massive love. I see you as one that will accomplish your goals in life. I SEE IT. Can you? The universe if just a manifestation, an illusion of the highest degree, an imagination. Everything in the universe has been manifested. It's not just fucking there. It has been manifested ### ### ### Collection of individual insights You need to enrich and love EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE, EVERY OBJECT, EVERY PERSON, every idea, every creation, destruction, transformation, birth, death. THIS is how you love your life and spiritualize your life. Learn how to lose yourself more into life. When doing an activity, let go of your mind detaching you from the task at hand, and have the courage to fully lose yourself to the task. When it comes to learning, It doesn't really matter if you're kind of sleepy trying to learn still, if you're still learning, you're learning. THE MOST HARDCORE LOVE IS what is holding your table together. I need to study a book on boundaries NOW! When being a teacher, your need to BE the actor they NEED for THEM. THIS is how you teach people. You shapeshift into the form they want to see, to best receive the message. This is why if you're a christian, God will appear to you as Jesus in order for you to comfortably take in the teaching. God appearing as Jesus is the best MASK for God to manifest such that you best receive the message. So when you are trying to teach someone else, you need to create that persona, that mask, such that people will believe in the authority(illusion) that you've constructed. You shapeshift into person they need to see in order to best receive the teaching. Ask people in your life what kind of person would they like to see in you. That's also the kind of person you need to be to be their best teacher. The backdrop you have demands your attention. Literally how you dress, and the room that you put yourself in. The background you have while speaking influences how seriously your message is going to be taken to heart. The tone of your voice, the appearance of organization and thought-thoroughness in your speaking will demand authority. How deeply and interconnectedly you've integrated your insights will determine how strong your message becomes. When the insight is so deeply integrated it just becomes a part of you. And through that you just have to express you SELF with utmost excellence and vigor, and through that, THAT is what creates a great teaching. How you're perceived affects how you're recieved. ### ### ### Later I had an Insight that had me roll around and flip around on the floor for several minutes going "WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!" over and over again. So, some more manifestation ruminations. I thought, What would it take for me to be able to talk to Leo everyday? Kinda like in a way of a great talking to a great. Like if you wanted to hang out with Socrates, you would have to be at his level. Sharing insights and shit. I then thought "well I would then have to be at his level in consciousness and understanding". (Even though on the deepest level you can only get the deepest truths from yourself and not other.) And, yeah, I know that this comes from the my selfish part of my ego that idolizes Leo because he is a really good teacher and I want to be one of the best teachers in the world myself. Anywaayyysss... Then, I REALIZED that I could ACTUALLY get there. I saw in myself, a deep realization of my potential to manifest as much Consciousness as Leo. Like in my mind, this was extremely possible. That I could make Leo my peer in terms of level of understanding. This is what made me go what the fuck. I was like "HOLYYY SHIIITTT!" Maybe my confidence is just the peak of Mount Stupid in the Dunning-Kruger Effect. But hey, it felt GREAT! And it gave me a massive confidence boost! Here's a powerful question. What would you need to become to befriend your teachers as peers? As equals? What would need to become of you? What would you need to do on a day to day basis? What actions would you have to take? There I was, rolling around on the floor, just experiencing high amounts of joy at the realization of actualizing my potential. Meanwhile, while this is happening, my buddy beside me is lying on my bed, on 6 grams of shrooms, fighting his demons like he's playing dark souls. But he did so very silently. Basically it was all an internal battle. Haha! I asked him later about it and he said that my excitement and rowdiness didn't fuck with his trip, so that was good. # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # Theme song of this part of the trip, reader, if you want, play this song. I was having the crux of this insight during this song. I curled up into a ball lying on my bed, snuggling an extremely soft blanket, feeling loved and feeling cuteness. I spent what felt like hours just enveloped in the love. I was hugging my super soft blanket, with an AMAZING body high, making everything comfy as fuck. I was biting my lip for a long time in a total state of erotic energy. I was fantasizing about LOVE. Fantasizing about sharing love with a male! At least a very specific feminine man that was supposedly crushing on at the time. It was a mega positive experience. Later I am hugging my blanket on the floor, still thinking about love. I'm loving the massive gift that life that God gives us. A lot of times during the trip I was saying "WEEEEIIIIRRRD! WEEEEIIIIRRRD! WEEEEIIIIRRRD!" >I was learning that on a very deep level, I want to love absolutely everyone and I know that when I realize I'm God, and when I realize I'm everything, I will be able to learn how to deepen that love. I want to learn how to maximize the love of the universe. I was also massively deconstructing the boundaries between loving everyone, on a deep emotional level. Like, what does it actually mean to love people? What really are you actually loving when you say you love someone? I have awakened to mega feminine energy over here. Also... I'm Awakening to bisexuality. I want to be feminine and seduced. I want to be masculine and be seductive. I LOVE feminine energy. (Side note, I'd probably love 5MeO MALT) I can find it in women. I can find it in men. I love the idea of putting makeup on to be more feminine when I want to embody more femininity. >I was learning that the gay side of my sexuality is expressed in a very differently navigated way than my Straight side. They're not the same at all! I also learned that liking the same sex comes with a whole new set of collective societal baggage that suppresses, demonizes and denies homosexuality. Coming out of the closet it not merely just simply accepting yourself and loving yourself, but it is also learning how to navigate in this reality in order to maximize the amount of love in the universe. Coming out of the closet literally means that you are learning how to navigate the oppression in society such that you can exercise love for your homosexual self, but yet at the same time, still look after your physical and social survival such that you are not one to be killed physically and demonized socially. >How you do this is becoming so sure about who you are that you're not attached to how people think you are. What manifests as bisexuality for ME, is probably very different for another person that identifies as bisexual. What you think bisexuality literally means for you, means a different thing for me. Like I don't like men in the same way AT ALL in the same way that I like women. The way I like women is HARDWIRED into my brain at a deep core level, whereas, the homosexuality that manifests in me comes from what I literally call a "gay fetish". This was imprinted into me from a young age as a result of homosexual experiences I had when I was younger. (Like age 10.) And for years I've denied and demonized the part of myself that liked that because I identified as straight. AND also at the same time homosexuality was VERY GROSS! But over time I found abstractions with fantasies like drawing of pornography, drawings that fudged the duality between male and female. (I can go into more detail of what I mean by this if requested). "My homosexuality" was in a way manifested because I loved a A SMALL part of myself that had a fantasy or two, and that part I explored more and more. It was years in the making. It was manifested over YEARS. It wasn't there, it was something that was nurtured and grew a life of its own. (I can literally go into detail step by step, each domino that had to fall to get to this point.) >But ANYWAYS, part of coming into my own is me letting go of YOU understanding my story that I've constructed over here. >In order navigate this new part of myself, I will study a book on boundaries, as well as contemplate what boundaries are. Also what is a relationship? >So just to clarify, in the end, right now at least, as I write this, I'm still unsure about what exactly my sexuality is, how Bi I really am. Like, do I just like feminine boys? Like twinks/femboys or whatever, and do I just like them physically(sexually) or am I able to love them emotionally too? Am I able to love a masculine man? Am I able to love masculine energy? or just feminine energy? >This trip allowed me to massively process tons of fear around taking action that would create further clarity. So now I am more confident to take even more action into developing more clarity into my sexuality. ### ### ### Additional Insights What is Courage? Courage is a perceived leap Beyond first perceived boundaries. Courage is biting off more than you can chew. Courage is willingly throwing yourself into a place that you KNOW you're going to lose control. Where you are not even sure if you're going to be able to handle it. Contemplate, What is control? Control vs Freedom. The light of God's love is so bright that whatever it touches it burns away any impurities. I need to practice spending money on highly valuable personal development resources. Like a life coaching package. Ideas hold the power of the universe. Which is why Epistemology metaphysics are important as FUCK. When it comes to buying shrooms I learned that a cube is a cube as they say, just buy some cheap b+ and forget the other strains. Just take more and you're there. You can't really fuck with the quality of shrooms. (Like I mean vendors usually sell really potent shrooms.) You can love fear. I am a DMT jester. That's the energy I hold. I am like the circus, I am expressive, I am chaotic, I am a clown, I am the actor, I am the laugher. That's also what I look like with the colorful clothes that I'm wearing that I call my tripping uniform haha. ( I haven't even done DMT yet lol) ### ### ### Integration: Study a book on boundaries to help navigate all my relationships in life in a way more healthy manner. Such that the love in my relationships have an opportunity to deepen and work at a higher level of synergy. Have a conversion about my sexuality with my Mother, as I spill everything about myself to her. As this is part of the process of facing my fears. (By the time I'm writing this, I already did it.) Take action toward deeply integrating this part of my sexuality. Explore myself. Thanks for reading!

These are the lies you tell yourself to prevent you from doing real work to clean up your life. Spiritual truths are not meant to be used to settle for mediocrity. Reality might be an illusion, but there are "real" seeming consequences to your procrastination and lack of action. Truly awakened Beings understand this.

Man you see, lately Ive felt that the opposite is true: the more "awakened" I get, the more I realize the extent of the delusion I was under about what's truly valuable in life . How can you lay blame upon a person thats essentially blind to the truth? I don't blame myself, or anybody or anything else in my life. It's like u could say it's all been one great big ego- driven misunderstanding .

@Gianna Thanks. That's exactly what we've been doing over the past few days. We took the whole week off to stay with her. All five of the family members have been extremely supportive and understanding. My role mainly was to direct them in how to treat and talk to her. The doctor said none of that matters, but I think he's wrong and closed-minded. He's putting all his bets on the medications and assuming that she's chronically ill and without a cure. We are proving him wrong. She almost recovered within less than three days of meds, and we'll probably start decreasing the doses very soon. I taught the family members some CBT and they're doing their best. My mom was her closest friend and they both have soft spots for each other, so I gave my mom special instructions for dealing with her. The truth is that the episode was triggered by my mom abandoning her for a reason that I don't feel comfortable sharing. I've been investigating with the family the possible causes and solutions the whole time. I think the situation is easily reversible. She was basically mainly deprived of sleep and stressed by several things that have been going on for some time in her life, like overworking and worrying about what other people think and drinking lots of caffeine, and other things. We are trying to uproot all that as much as possible and as quick as possible, and I think we've been very effective at this as a team for the time being, so we will continue down that path. We'll also try to eliminate the stressors out of her life so that they don't trigger her anymore. @Loba Thank you for your concern. I'm sorry I didn't contact you as I said I would. We are devoting most of our time for her at the moment, and I don't feel very comfortable sharing things about my sister; and that's because I worry she might not want that, so I'm saving that option until it's absolutely necessary. But anyway, she's a lot better now, but I was wondering if it's okay to stop the meds. I am very doubtful of the mainstream medical view on psychosis, because in a sense she awakened, so her mind got upgraded, opposite to what most psychiatrists suggest. She said she died and came back to life because she loves us. She mentioned astral projection, now believes in karma and God, and thinks she's become a channel/translator of some sorts. I don't want to deny her these possibilities, so I am trying my best to explain to my parents especially that all of this is okay. I think she will calibrate soon and then she will be able to filter out these esoteric experiences from daily conversations. She's already improved a lot and explained a lot to us in a more understandable way. It's interesting how all of this is working. On the more brighter side, I've never been this close to her. I almost avoided eye contact and real emotional connection with her for most of my life. The past few days, I held her close to me for hours, reminisced about the past with her, sang with her, comforted her, etc. She even kissed me and asked me to kiss her between her eyes, which we've never done before. I think everything is improving all at the same time.

What really amazes me is why havn’t You, or some of the more awakened Mods risen above the Psychic Mass Formation that is being played out on both sides of the Pro-Vax and Anti-Vax hallucination? You and the Mods constantly counsel and talk with followers about the pitfalls of Fear and the collective Ego delusion, Devilry, and the pitfalls of being attached to limited narrowminded states of Duality, and yet you sit on the sidelines silent, or push the Pro-Vax agenda! The only conclusions I can formulate from the Mass Silence, or Pro-vax narrative, is that you are either caught-up in the Collective Psychic Mass Formation that is being played out! Or, You have been silenced, and you fear the Media reprisal and negative connotations that would attach to Actualized.org, Or, You are caught in a paradigm of Survival, which is threating your relationship, livelihood, your standing and privileges with Youtube! Or, .................................................................................? The Human collective Ego is going through a Psychic Mass Formation of Devilry on both sides of the fence, and yet there is nothing but silence about this Madness or Devilry from the top tiers! Why is that? Let me make this very clear! I am not Pro-vax or Anti-Vax! I have taken both Vaccines as a courtesy to family members and neighbours who are caught-up in their fears and Survival! Having said that, I am conscious and awake enough to know that something isn’t right with the narrative, and I question the Devilry on both sides of the fence, and “YOU SHOULD TOO”! Just sharing a few thoughts, ideas, and beliefs!

What really amazes me is why hasn’t Leo, or some of the more awakened (so called awakened) Mods risen above the Psychic Mass Formation that is being played out on both sides of the Pro-Vax and Anti-Vax hallucination? They constantly counsel and talk with followers about the pitfalls of Fear and the collective Ego delusion, Devilry, and the pitfalls of being attached to limited narrowminded states of Duality, and yet they sit on the sidelines silent, or pushing the Pro-Vax narrative! The only conclusions I can formulate from the Mass Silence,or Pro-Vax narrative, is that they are either caught-up in the Collective Psychic Mass Formation that is being played out! Or, They have been silenced, and they fear the Media reprisal and negative connotations that would attach to Actualized.org, Or, Leo is caught in a paradigm of Survival, which is threating his relationship, livelihood, his standing and privileges with Youtube! Or, .................................................................................? The Human collective Ego is going through a Psychic Mass Formation of Devilry on both sides of the fence, and yet there is nothing but silence about this Madness or Devilry from the top tiers! Why is that? Let me make this very clear! I am not Pro-vax or Anti-Vax! I have taken both Vaccines as a courtesy to family members and neighbours who are caught-up in their fears and Survival! Having said that, I am conscious and awake enough to know that something isn’t right with the narrative, and I question the Devilry on both sides of the fence, and “YOU SHOULD TOO”! Just sharing a few thoughts, ideas, and beliefs!

@Don Wei I once awakened on acid and the first thing that came through my mind was, jeez this is gonna be boring, not a negative way but I felt like I must also have a thing to channel my energy into and here where I truly understood the value of having a real-life purpose.

@Don Wei no offense and not coming from a place of attempting to be an authority on who's awake and who isn't, but if you're falling into the thought stories displayed in the original post, there's more letting go to do. Coming from another guy on the path, I'm not some awakened master or whatever.

This may seem like a silly post to most of you , since cutting hair is normal for 99.99% of you, but I was born as a Sikh, so in Sikhism cutting hair is not allowed/prohibited . So kind of a big deal for me . I tried to find people on internet who wanted to this , and I also found some on Reddit , but those people were ridiculed by stage blue people of my religion and were given advice about how people sacrificed themselves for hair and what not and you shouldn’t do this as you will never be able to attain god and what not. + those people who asked this question also wanted to cut their hair for silly reasons for having sex and getting girlfriends.(they are some nice perks tho) I want to do it because it for some reason takes away my freedom (not in any spiritual sense) because i think I could not try shaving my head because of this ideology (just an example) and it will keep me stuck and also because of religious beliefs I will never be able to try out the some things which my religion will prohibit and I don’t want that . I want to experience everything for myself and I want to see for myself what works for me and what does not and worst of all I don’t want to limit the possibility of experience just because of religion. I am interested in spirituality and meditate daily though unlike most of you , I don’t have many experiences which are mystical considering I am just 18 , but I don’t think that I could not find God if I cut my hair (lol) , …. because then why did some Buddhist get awakened (they are bald lol) and Leo also has no hair lol + I also don’t like that wearing a turban and having a beard has a stigmatised image in the society and I personally want to be free from that + I can’t manage my hair well actually What do you guys , am I don’t the right thing? I have tried to take this decision as consciously as I can , I have contemplated on it also , I have not thought of doing this just because of some really compulsive desire

I'd say by seeing that there's no actual need to embody anything. Embodiment implies that you're supposed to act like whatever you assume an awakened person acts like. See the divinity in being who you are right now, not how you think you should be.

For those of you have awakened to yourself as God, how do you deal with frustration that comes with the difficulty of embodiment? Of course it’s one thing to realize that your are formless, but it’s another thing to act from this state. Fear and self deception that is associated with form-identity still remains; I can appreciate how strong it is..but I know it’s only there for my ego’s protection and survival. Im sure with practice and time, I will get better at integrating, but any feedback (from this imaginary forum ) would be appreciated.

If you find a really awakened Sufi master, and they are very very very very very rare, unfortunately, then yes, sufism has the representations of all those ideas in itself, but again, as I said, it is not easy at all to find a really awakened Sufi master, most of them are religiously opinionated.

I think Leo and this forum should refrain from telling people that they are God. I think its misleading and counter-productive for personal development and spirituality. To become awakened, to become Great like Jesus or Muhammed. To reach your full human potential as a Human is to recognise yourself as a Deputy to God, as a Vicegerent to God. It is to become a deputy to your source, God. You do not have Greatness on to yourself, Greatness always has to be given to that which you are not. The reason Jesus etc were so great is because they recognised this and embodied this. We all can embody this because the source is present within us all, but you are not this source. You didn't create yourself, to claim that you are God, is to claim that you are your own Creator which is pure devilry. It is to claim that you are a Light giving Light to itself. You are a Light but God is the Light of Lights. You are a King but God is the King of Kings. God is the Source of all creation, if you are reading this then you are a creation not the Source. The source is what we know to be God and you aren't that. The source however is present in you and you will never not be refrained access from it so long as you live but to make the claim that you are God is technically incorrect. You do not have Greatness on to yourself, Greatness always has to be given to that which you are not. Jesus, Muhammed, Buddha, or any other mystic never referred to themselves to be God or the Source. God is/includes the Source, to say You=God is to take away from God. You saying that you are God what you are actually doing is Limiting what God is. If you are really God, then why dont you ask people to refer to you as God? It would be the Truth no? To say you are God is just as inaccurate to say that you are the ego or flesh.

To some extent my main "life trauma" was something relatively similar to yours so perhaps you'd find value in listening to it. This reply will contain no suggestions or "things you should do" but rather, I'll just tell you my story. When I was 3 year old my parents separated (Mom cheated on my Dad) and after a little while, my Dad was dating my step-mom. Due to the heartbreak of my Dad with my Mom, my Dad was a bit insecure and really cared about keeping my step-mom. It turned out my step-mom had very bad experiences with her step-mom and she felt "weird" about me because she was very scared of "being a bad step-mom" just like her was. At some point she said to me (in front of my Dad) that I can call her "Mom" which being a 4 year old I responded "I already have a Mom!" which kinda hurt her. At the time I was 4 year old so I didn't really understand it but it kinda hit her in the face hard. My Dad who was really trying to keep my step-mom at the time did his best to "patch things up" and make our new reconstituted family work despite the friction between my step-mom and me. As time passed, I started being excluded from dinner conversations in a quite rude manner by my dad and I didn't understand why. Yet when my step-mom wasn't there, my Dad gave me all his exclusive attention kind of to "make up" for when she was there. From all of this situation, I started being quite shy with my step-mom although when I was younger I wasn't at all. I was scared of doing something wrong again and hurting her feelings but didn't understand any of why all of that was. Since I didn't understand anything, I ended up interpreting the sitation as "me being bad with women". That's why I'm shy, that's why Dad doesn't let me participate in conversations with his women and etc. When my sister came out I also was shy with her for similar reasons, validating this idea that "I'm shy/I'm bad with women". As life went on, this belief kept being more and more internalized as "who I am". In high-school at first I had a lot of friends (all men) but then they started hanging out with women and in this situation, I was literally frozen by fear. My own self-identity revolved around being too shy to talk with them. It didn't take long until I was ruled out as a loser because of this and I lost my "popular friend circle" and ended up hanging out with the other "rejects" in high school because of this. This whole thing also sparked a big reaction in myself : the need to compensate. The logic was that if I'm really bad with women, I'll need some other way to get them to like me. One way to do that was to become really good at math at school. I wanted to become extremely rich, popular and powerful so I could finally have a "princess" that would respect me. I always assumed that I had to be ashamed of who I was and I had to gain my respect of others through this hard work. This lasted up until college (after highscool) where performance was becoming even of a concern for me. At the time I didn't even try to get a girlfriend because I assumed nobody would ever want me until I'm super rich and popular. My quest for higher performance lead me to seek higher productivity which lead me to Leo. At first I listened to his videos about how to get shit done, how to stop being shy, which helped me a lot. Then I started Meditation, which at first felt like it did nothing but over time, became a "must" since not doing it would always lead to self desesperation and procrastination. I was also active on the forum at the time (different account, won't mention old username publicly) and I thought every one here was going bananas. What are these morons in their delusions taking DRUGS of all things? I had a lot of argument with a lot of people on there about their effects on the brain, safety and etc. I was also doing my own research in scientific papers to try to "prove" that psychedelics are bad for you. After a year of research however, I was forced to conclude that those substances have absolutely no negative effect on the body and I ended up trying my first tab of acid (I think in 2018). This trip was probably the best of my life. I couldn't believe how much fun I was having and how all I had to do to become more productive was to chill. After this first trip I wanted MUCH MORE and so I immediately ordered 5-MeO-DMT and started doing some of that every 2 week and LSD every 2 other week. This couple of months of my life were really fun and amazing, I don't think I had that much pleasure since then. That period was characterized by being high energy, high mood almost all of the time and basically no obstacle being a problem either. I had in mind of getting a girlfriend though but since those couple of months were in the summer, I left that task for september as University would start again. In september life was still fun. I was flirting with a girl in my class while another girl was flirting with me. I was in a weird dynamic of flirting with a girl that didn't really want me and rejecting another girl that wanted me but that I didn't want. At that time I had never been into any relationship appart from one that lasted 2 dates in 2 weeks. As the semester progressed however, it seemed more and more clear that the girl I had a crush on didn't want me, yet I was falling into the beliefs that I had "obsessive thoughts about her" and I couldn't control what I was thinking anymore, despite the 1 hour of meditation per day at the time. I ended up asking my crush out, knowing she would say no, just to make it all "stop" as I was under the idea I couldn't stop fantacizing about her anymore. After she rejected me I came back home and then next day I did my personal highest dose of LSD : 300 µg. I had spend the previous night "recovering" and I believed at the time that I was "over it" it was no big deal. This trip was the biggest nightmare I had every experienced. It felt like my body was falling appart, everything stopped making sense and I was deeply ashamed of who I was, more than I ever was. Turned out this awakened my trauma of "thinking I'm bad with women" as I got a case of me not doing great with women. (Previously I just didn't care/ didn't think about it). After this trip I was traumatized, believed I had screwed up my brain permanently and was deeply ashamed. It is clear to me today that this trip was trying to make me challenge the idea that "I'm someone who's bad with women" but at the time I was way too afraid and interpreted it as "my death". Since I believed I was that thought I was becoming extremely defensive and did everything I could to defend that thought. As a result I called my family, made a big conflict, told them I was on LSD. Bad times hahaha It took me couple of years after that to work on this trauma and realize it was just an identitication I had about myself. I wasn't the shame, I wasn't the "bad with women" that's just an idea and that idea felt really bad. Following the bad trip, I had my first self realization in the middle of the night. Then I continued meditating, reading books like Eckhart Tolle and Peter Ralston and tripping. I ended up retracing I think mostly everything about my trauma. Why it happened, what it is I thought that is wrong and how I was bringing this idea in my present moment. I'm giving you my current best approximation of what happened here but perhaps I'll find out more about those beliefs in the future. In any case, I do not need to care about them anymore, they are no longer believed or thought, only, I believed them for about 20 years in the past. Despite "figuring out what went wrong", it wasn't immediately easy to get a girlfriend. I had other experiences, other failures (which also were followed by other bad LSD trips lol, but less bad) but about 3 years after my initial failure, it's finally working out! I'm in my first real relationship for the first time and it's been about 4 months. I'm super happy about it and she even trips on Shrooms with me! (How amazing). In the end, I got into a relationship, despite believing with everything I had that I was deeply bad with women. That's my story. Yours will be different in many ways but I'm sure there are some similarities. In any case, I hope this was helpful or if it wasn't, at least it was relatively enjoyable to read.

@Random witch Because full awakening doesn't exist. Dead people are fully awakened but the Catch-22 is, when you are fully awakened you don't exist anymore, so death doesn't allow for an experience of fully awakening, just removes you. Which is equivalent to a person fully awakening.

Actualized.org's spiritual leader leo gura isn't fully awakened and has a too dominant SD stage orange aspects and many other flaws. He is just a finger pointer to the moon, like other spiritual teachers. I imagine them standing on a huge field, everyone is pointing to the moon in various fashions, they're standing in different positions so the moon looks slightly different to each of them, each of them is trying to pass the information he sees in a way he understands it with his own perception and filters. The pointer isn't the moon, no matter how accurately he describes you the moon. We get filtered information, not 100% accurate, we will never get the 100% truth from the spiritual teacher, we only can get the overall image and the direction and it is our responsibility to find it out by ourselves. People expect from their teachers to carry them to the truth because they don't want to carry themselves, if you expect someone to carry you to the truth you'll be disappointed and angry because no one can fully meet your expectations and fantasies about what fashion you want to be carried to the truth. Our main work is not here at this forum but in our real life with our crazy monkey minds, we need to adjust the teachings we learned from various people to our real life circumstances and stage in life. This forum can be very misused and it often used as distraction from a real self work. We shouldn't by any mean worship Leo, or this forum, or the ideas of this forum blindly without thinking, experience, reflecting. It's easier to give someone an vague advice or masturbating about God realization, Love, Truth, spirituality rather than actually sitting and meditating. It's easier to ask other people questions and get fixed answers rather than trying to figure it out by yourself. It's easier to get involved in ego arguments about high spiritual concepts rather than looking deep into your shitty monkey mind, stupid thoughts and ugly biases. Because the real, the hard, the uncomfortable (but the most satisfying for the long term) work is here within us.

This is brilliant. You achieving this makes my path clearer. I don't have to put my time and energy into incomplete/limited teachings. Thankyou. ?? The book which makes sense to me is Conversations with God series. Omniscience is possible for me, I got a glimpse of it while watching your video - an advanced explanation of God - Realisation. This is really advanced. I would say Infinitely Advanced. As God is the only reality; all limits & all differences must be imagined and held as Truth in order to explore/know what God is. @Leo Gura as you are part of me which I believe is reasonably awakened who is helping me to show the Truth, Let's reflect right now. So I am writing this sentence believing that it's actually getting published on an internet forum & people will read it. And this believing makes it true. Actuality is the only thing actual. Holy fuck!!!! What manifests depend on what the self desires. As the sentence is being written, desire is getting communicated to myself. And I fulfill my desire just like that. Just like that. No conditions. Direct. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha. You are telling me that you did this type of questioning for years? How have you not gone totally crazy uptil this point? But I get the appeal. It's the ultimate adventure. My personal favourite teaching- what is intelligence. It's beyond the scope of language as language is a tiny portion of consciousness. To put simply what I understood, everything that happens is designed by the Ultimate Master who doesn't make mistakes. Infinite causes & infinite effects working harmoniously entertaining all aspects of me. Infinite Singularity. Incredible. Beyond beyond. Speechless. But Leo, I am just 23 setting up career, preparing to move out of parents place, attracting girlfriend. It's difficult for me to accept I am God. I realise as long as I am gonna say it's difficult it's going to be difficult. It is what I say it is. What we all must do is structure our lives in a way which is best suited for contemplation/spiritual practices if we desire complete understanding in this lifetime. Yes yes I am imagining that there's such a thing as lifetime, what I mean is rapid spiritual growth. Wishing, Infinite Love Infinite Blessings Infinite Power Infinite Synchronicitiy Infinite Abundance Infinite Potential Infinite Wisdom Infinite Guidance Infinite Excitement Infinite Transcendence Infinite Inspiration Infinite Twists Infinite Focus Infinite Healing Infinite Purpose Infinite Truth Infinite Expression To all beings. Grateful such community exists?

My deepest awakenings I felt like I understood why every human has done anything they ever did and I realized it was Love. But, love with ignorance. I love and forgive everyone in my highest awakened states. Forever. This is why I teach Qigong and I will be studying and teaching high level Sacred Sexuality, breath work, high level journaling/ contemplation and inner work/ shadow work... in the future. Embodying Infinite Love. It's my ego and cognitive behaviour now, in my day to day that I am improving and I will continue to grow deeply over the next 5 years. I still have a tonne of fears, doubts, uncertainties I am working through. Trying to wrap my head around human behaviour, survival and the social matrix and my own mind. Each day I increase my awareness.

Alright alright. You already know I get it. You just aren't sure yet because you're having fun in the process of awakening. You are just talking to yourself right? You are me waking up me. If that was true, you would already know exactly why I am unsure, and haven't awakened because YOU are God too. Don't forget we are inseparable. Don't forget who made you I can stomach it. I just don't wanna be self deceived. So, it's in my bag of possibilities. If it's true, it's true. I look forward to an awakening that lasts.

Re: To be the most moral is to be most conscious. I like that notion. It would fit with the concept that Mercy is the best we can do for giving it the value of being the highest law. Another notion that I'm fond of is that awakened conscience is the same in everyone and is the intelligence of the universe juxtaposed with our conditioned morality which gets handed down and forced upon us. The following I copied from an old post in my journal and is from a 12th century Egyptian Sufi named Dzou'l Noun. To me, it contains a whole world of meaning having to do with Conscience and the consequences of being awake in a culture that is asleep. All men are dead, except those who know. All those who know are dead, except those who practice. All those who practice are dead, except those who act. All those who act are lost, except those who act with righteous intent. And All those who act with righteous intent are all in grave danger.

This work comes from an article by Bonnitta Roy and the work of Jaak Panksepp, Diana Fosha, and Eileen Russell. https://bonnittaroy.substack.com/p/the-affect-streams?token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo4ODkwNjY3LCJwb3N0X2lkIjo0MzY1MTA5MCwiXyI6Im5oR1lHIiwiaWF0IjoxNjM5MTgzMzI2LCJleHAiOjE2MzkxODY5MjYsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0zMDI4NDciLCJzdWIiOiJwb3N0LXJlYWN0aW9uIn0.pekkZv7NjWMvPh_yiw_8JoePRZpGGS4mJE8j1klz9xE Jaak Panksepp identified 7 primary affect streams: LUST, PLAY, ANGER, SEEKING, FEAR, CARE, and PANIC. Each affect is present from birth. Affect vs. Emotion: Affect: neurochemicals, pupil dilation, breath rate, heart rate, sweating, muscle tension. EX: A dear could be experiencing the 'FEAR' affect stream, yet not feel fear the emotion since that would be counter-productive to getting out of the way of a car. What the dear experiences is alertness and different physiological processes and state-changes. Emotion: The regular feelings we all experience and associate with words like fear, guilt, joy, love, shame, etc.. usually in the frontal torso (belly, chest). Affect to Emotion When a baby falls down, it will experience an affect-state shift (change in heart rate, breathing, muscle tension, etc.), but it won't necessarily know what that means. So, it will then look to a primary caregiver to see how they react and then use that to interpret how to feel about the state shift they just experienced. If the primary caregiver responds with a more open and expanded disposition to what happened (e.g. perhaps saying "Oh, look at what happened!" with a big smile and relaxed posture, indicating it's ok) the baby will then interpret that affect with more positive associations and emotions. The opposite is true if the primary caregiver responds with a more contracted disposition (e.g. fear, wide eyes, perhaps saying "OMG Baby! Are you ok! I need help!"). This is how certain Affects are imprinted with either more expanded or contracted emotions and associations. Groupings Eileen Russell saw that each affect, besides LUST, was potentially associated across vagal tone. She saw CARE and PANIC affects functions for connection. She saw PLAY and ANGER affects relate to mastery ("Because that's how we learn). And she saw SEEKING and FEAR affects relating to tremulous since it's how we "tremble" with excitement on the boundary of fear and seeking. Spiritual Path Groupings Bonnitta further identified connections between the spiritual path and each group. Mastery stream = PATH Tremulous stream = GAOL Connection stream = BASIS Awakened Modes Bonnitta Roy saw Eileen's research and saw how they connect also to "Awakened modes" of each group. Mastery stream = Wu-Wei (or Effortless Action) Tremulous stream = Awe Connection stream = Universal Compassion Expanded Modes Mastery stream = PLAY Tremulous stream = SEEKING Connection stream = Care Contracted Modes Mastery stream = ANGER Tremulous stream = FEAR Connection stream = PANIC Deeply Contracted Modes Mastery stream = RAGE Tremulous stream = DREAD Connection stream = GRIEF Exercise For a week, see monitor and observe yourself going through each of the affects, identifying when you are in each one. Tip: wear a wristband to remember (thanks Leo for that hack:)) Tip: put on alarms throughout the day to stop, become more mindful, and observe to see which one you're probably in or most identify with. Remember, it's not emotion we're going after (not those things in your belly or chest), but more physical sensations. Tip: I know it's a hard distinction to make, and is one I'm still confused about. But, if you feel caught with emotions, try to instead focus your attention over your entire body, doing a more expanded observing of yourself rather than on specific emotions. See what type of state your in. Are you seeking something? Are you desiring or in a more care-connection state? Or are you in a playful learning, skill centered state? Good Luck! And have fun Also, I'd love feedback on how you found my layout and summary of the article. Did it work for you? Improvements? How was the exercise? Cheers.