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Dude she cut her hair and has short hair right now . Had me contemplating suicide 😂.

TL;DR 33M gay/homoflexible engineer (probably AuDHD) trying to figure out what freedom and purpose look like after years of depression, burnout, and a toxic relationship. Therapist asked: "If you had financial freedom for life, what would you do?" Still working on that one. --- Forgive me if this has been posted before — this is my first post and the search bar doesn’t seem to work. So, quick background. 33M, gay/homoflexible (with some pent-up 50-shades-level fantasies... Catholic guilt hits hard). I don’t love labels, but I guess I’d fall somewhere on the “AuDHD” spectrum. Like Leo, I’ve found pretty much every career I’ve tried miserable. Unlike Leo, I haven’t found my calling yet. Being an engineer, whether software or electrical, just isn’t it for me. It sucks. No offense to those who enjoy it. My therapist (straight, no feelings) posed this question as homework: “Suppose you had financial freedom — just enough to be comfortable, think universal basic income, guaranteed for life. What would you do with your time?” To be honest; I'm stumped. One of my biggest issues with traditional jobs has always been the lack of autonomy. I’ve always had a little oppositional defiance in me. Probably still do; it's just transmuted into something else. When I was in second grade, I punched my teacher for not playing by the rules of a game she made up. I also refused to wear my kindergarten graduation gown because I thought it looked stupid (mortifying my parents, I’m sure). So yeah, I was a weird kid. Throughout my 20s I came to grips with my sexuality, and maybe over-corrected a bit. I didn’t get into hard drugs or poppers like many in the gay community; shout-out to D.A.R.E. for working on at least one of us lol. I can't say the same for Scared Straight . Joking aside, I definitely got hooked on “electronic drugs” — Grindr, hookups, porn, the usual. So while Dr. Jekyll was supposed to be building a career, Mr. Hyde (pun intended) was coming out of the closet. By my late 20s, things started to shift. I stopped caring what people thought. I realized I didn’t have acne anymore, I looked good, I was confident. Then, at 31, I dated a narcissist with BPD. After cutting ties I'd sought therapy and my therapist told me exactly what was going on; my ex totally blind-sighted me. That relationship wrecked me. Constant blame, manipulation, and guilt. On one side, I was juggling a toxic partner. On the other, another miserable job. When both finally collapsed, it was like a reset button had been hit and I had zero shits left to give; I was oddly at peace with losing both. Then when I had a falling out with some "friends" turned business partners a few months thereafter; again I was at relative peace (granted; as my therapist would explain to me; one of those partners had a similar personality to my ex, if not worse. But because I'd already processed my ex and the fact that I wasn't sleeping with my business partner, it was a much easier break. Now, for the first time in 11 years, I’m not even remotely depressed (no drugs either unless you want to count Lamictal; which I take for epilepsy) I used to cry daily watching Leo’s videos, basically doing self-help masturbation, while thinking about suicide. I actually attempted twice, both times tied to career despair and identity chaos. Now the only time I bring it up is when I tell people how I survived it. I reconnected with an old friend a week ago (after six years). I think I said "I know I'm not a 10/10... maybe a 7/10, but I know I'm good enough and when I'm ready to date again that person is going to have an excellent partner" and he responded, “No, you look the same... but different. You’re easily a 9.5/10 and you had some sort of glow-up. For once look happy." So tying this all together... so what do I actually do with this hypothetical freedom? Part of me wants to go a little feral. To let loose all the repressed sexual energy and just live without guilt or rules. My ex killed off any real desire for a relationship (for now). More often than not I'd always do solo travel as a means of escaping sexual repression. In fact, the first time I came out was on a tour of Australia after my tour guide found me on Grindr (a dry-run before the real deal). Don't get me wrong, I love nature and that's why I chose Australia for my first solo adventure (perfect blend of nature and hot guys). While I'd love to do more nature travel, I can’t travel to most of Asia or Africa due to medication restrictions. For me, while I'm not super interested in European history (sorry in advance... I guess castles are cool and the food is always great at least) Europe is attractive to me because the guys are hot lmao. Most recently though I did go away to Costa Rica and I brought a friend (actually, my other ex... whom I now consider one of my best friends) and I didn't go for sex for a change and I did genuinely feel grounded and at peace there. I had several bucket-list destinations I'd wanted to visit and Costa Rica was the last one on the list (and possibly my favorite... neck and neck with Australia). Anyway, I know sexual indulgence, while fun, isn’t the real answer. It’s temporary. It’s not a calling. It’s just blowing off steam after years of repression. After eleven years of depression, losing myself in work and relationships, it’s like I’ve been dropped into an empty white room with a blank canvas. I’ve picked up some hobbies, joined a sports league, made new friends, got back in the gym after an injury. But those are just activities. That's not a life calling. I know y'all probably drank that out of a fire hose, but I'd love your take.

@Inliytened1 I think its a problem, but men cannot see it because society taught them to be hyper independent and we know the current situation of mens mental health as a result of that. Statistically speaking married or long-term partnered men live aprox 10 years longer than single men, they tend to commit less suicide, they are more successful, they are healthier, they have lower cortisol levels. Talking about humans in general, people with strong social and romantic connections have a 50% higher likelihood of survival when compared to those who were isolated or single. The worst thing you can do to a human is to put him/her in solitary confinement, it's funny how little effort men put into relationships given the data. Maybe Im a hopeless romantic but I think there is so much value in having a sacred union, a supportive partner, to help each other grow through life, there is a lot os goodness that was discarded with religion, we threw the baby with the bath water and now wee qre ll suffering in silence and dont even know why.

@Yeah Yeah Hm but why are you so adamant about suicide? I mean not like i'd stop you or anything but WHY do you feel like life is BS? Why do you think existence is just suffering? From my point of view it looks like your perspective is twisted in some way. Wouldn't you need to know how it feels to suffer to know how it feels to be content with your life? To me it feels like your statement about wanting to commit 100% guaranteed suffering free suicide is hiding something else. And i'm just assuming a lot of things here but maybe THERE IS something wrong here? But who knows, maybe you're not normal either and you genuinely get no joy out of life or something. I think you're just trying to cover something by being so adamant about the suicide thing. I don't know what you're trying to cover but it definitely feels like you're not telling the full story here. AGAIN i'm assuming a whole lot here (I'm assuming you're a pretty normal human with an average body composition and an average bio-chemistry, I'm assuming that you might have some sort of mental illness that you're trying to hide with the things you said about the government assisted suicide stuff and i'm also assuming that you actually want an answer that might be able to help you. I don't know you or how your mind works so I unfortunately have to do at least this many assumptions). I would like to know your thoughts on this video from actualized.org tho: curious as to what your answer might be. I also think Leo brought up some interesting points in this video.

The Argument for the Rightful Exit If reason grants us the ability to reflect on existence, it must also grant us the right to end it. The Stoics—Seneca, Epictetus, and later Marcus Aurelius—saw life as a loan, not a possession; returning it, when its purpose or dignity fades, is not sin but wisdom. David Hume, writing in the 18th century, argued that suicide violates no divine or moral law: it harms neither God nor society if one’s existence has ceased to benefit either. From that lineage comes the claim that civilization itself is incomplete until it acknowledges this right. Just as we developed medicine to prolong life, reason demands medicine to end it peacefully. A synthesized, humane compound—a painless, deliberate “exit”—should be as accessible as anesthetic, under the same reverence we give to birth, surgery, or sleep. Such an invention would not glorify death; it would dignify choice. It would recognize that the will to die, when born of lucidity, is not madness but metaphysical agency—the highest form of ownership over the self.

You refer to ethics as an objective criterion; if it's objective, then it must exist somewhere. So either it's a theological bias—it's written in a sacred book/one you believe in—or it actually just comes from your imagination and is probably just a reflex to generalize your superego, given that it's partly unconscious. Hence the fact that "atheists" who claim to be ethical will say something like, "It's something obvious deep down in each of us", well no, it's not universally obvious; it's just the projection of your own superego and, by extension, the ideas of your collective unconscious. Hence the fact that some cultures (Northern European and Anglo-Saxon countries, Hindus, etc.) have a higher prevalence of veganism regardless of social conditions. Even if you're not religious, if you don't go to church, etc., you have mental structures influenced by religion, and you generalize from that. Besides, Jung said that Europeans/white people are essentially Christian whether they like it or not, because it's ingrained in the collective unconscious. I don't have a moral compass; I don't think in those terms, at least not as much as you and others. It seems so. You are dismissing the solution of aligning the conscious with the unconscious. That is to say, the possibility that your moral compass is faulty. No, your moral compass is both conscious and unconscious (the unconscious part is precisely what motivates globalization under idealistic or even religious language such as "ethics" or "morality"), and your instinctual desires are fundamentally unconscious. Your conflict, on the contrary, is a confrontation between what you have learned, the legacy of your upbringing and the collective unconscious, as I said earlier, which are more or less conscious, and your atavistic desires. I mentioned neurosis somewhere because, without going into the psychoanalytic genesis of the phenomenon—that's not the point—the more neurotic a person is (we all are to some extent), the more they tend to go against their id as if it were good, a right thing, something worthwhile. Everyone exploits everyone else, even when you think you're in love with your boyfriend it's low-key energy business. As I've said elsewhere, even adopting your idealistic paradigm, yes, there are particularly unethical production chains, but they're a minority. Where I live, there's a lot of free-range cattle and chicken farming; many people also keep chickens because it's easy. These animals shouldn't live because they're "exploited"? That's delusional. Most vegans are indeed urban white people who constantly exploit others through their lifestyle; most of your gadgets were produced through exploitation, and not good exploitation at that. When you buy a smartphone, you're buying something from a company (Foxconn) that have suicide nets in their gigantic factories. Why is living a relatively peaceful life outdoors, safe from predators and hunger, before being quickly killed with a bullet to the head to feed people directly or indirectly (through manure), considered wrong? Like, why would that be "wrong"? Especially if, without getting into any of that nonsense, you don't particularly care about other humans. It's a strange delirium; the whole of life is exploitation and power dynamics. It's not ugly, it's just nature; what's ugly is hurting yourself and becoming hostile to others because you're living in a delirium.

Look up pictures of suicide cases a few days before they committed it. People look happy even tho they aren’t. It’s almost expected that you fake happiness in society. And happiness is transient anyways. Those people were both happy & miserable just like you and I. Trading half a dollar for 50 cents.

This is one of the things that bothered me for a long time after being sexually abused on multiple occasions. This included sex trafficking with my father and his gang, sexual assault, nightmares of being molested by my Uncle, and ultimate my mother teaching me that I am irredeemable bastard who is unworthy of existence. For example, my father seemed proud of the fact that he was offered 600 dollars to have me molested by his drug lord. It was as if he felt special as part of his badass gangster identity for being involved in a gang full of child molesters. I have seen this creepy ass smile multiple times with predators smiling in your face as they violate you. It is like they are trying to minimize what is happening while pretending it is about sexual gratification when really they just like degrading people to make them feel beneath them. These sorts of experiences tend to cause me a lot of cognitive dissonance. It makes me feel even more conflicted about my sexuality while I struggle to comprehend and process these sorts of things. I seem to typically respond to this by withdrawing and isolating myself and not talking to anybody. On top of that these kinds of incidents seem to compound the original trauma in which I became suicidal due to my mother treating me as if I were a sexual predator. It is almost like in some twisted way I deserve this kind of treatment because I repeated the behaviors I was exposed to with my sister when I was six and she was four. I now feel tainted and unclean. It is like I now become hypervigilant about anything about myself which might seem immoral and thus contribute to the sense of dirtiness again. At least I logically understand that sexual abuse is never justice and it never makes anything better, so in that sense nobody deserves this kind of treatment even if I feel like an irredeemable bastard unworthy of life. I do recall that this creepy smile that sexual predators often have are not limited to them, but also narcissistic family systems. My mother and sister are narcissists who often take sadistic pleasure in degrading me and weaponizing my trauma against me. Sometimes they will yell enough at me with their rage attacks to make me cry, and then they will start to give me these apologies while they are still smiling. They will even laugh when I try to take responsibility and use my admissions as tools to degrade me further while keeping approval permanently out of reach. For example, when I was young my mother came to me and told me that I was a bastard. She acted like it was a matter of fact statement because my parents were not married, but really she is a transgression seeker and she likes looking for ways to degrade others under the guise of honesty. The proof of this is that she is also the kind of person who likes to trigger people with the n word as if she is just being honest when really she is looking for ways to transgress and violate others because she finds pleasure in causing harm to others. This kind of behavior reveals her motives when she told me things like I was a bastard and as she weaponized morality against me to make me feel irredeemable and permanently unworthy of love. She likes to use morality to degrade others as well such as when she tries to guilt trip her children, shows disproportionate anger responses, and threatens suicide only to call such things little tiffs. Despite all of these things I constantly made excuses for my mother and father. Instead I believed the things they said about me even though these are the kinds of people who don't value truth and they really should not be trusted. I knew this as a child when I witnessed their criminal activities, but I still internalized what they said about me anyway. If they do not value truth and they prioritize causing harm to others, then this should apply to their judgement of me as well because they are completely wrong about who I am anyway. It seems the common factor between sexual predators and narcissists is that they take a sadistic pleasure in degrading others. It is just that one is through psychological means and the other is through sexual means. I have been working with a trauma therapist. It seems to be causing more insights to emerge around this trauma while I discover that my defense mechanism was intellectual distance. With these defenses falling away I am left with the raw emotional impact of these things. Of course this is accompanied by suicidal thoughts because I have been feeling this way for a long time. It is likely the case that I still do not grasp the full significance of the things that happened to me the weight of these kinds of feelings that have become normalized. I also notice that as I understand and grasp the significance of the things that happened to me, I seem to become more hesitant to approach these kinds of thoughts due to the feelings revealed without the intellectual distance and logic that I typically use to cope with these things by disassociating with my experience. At the same time, I cannot afford to go to the hospital. I have been misdiagnosed with depression when really I likely have bipolar disorder. The pills they game me made my internal state even more chaotic, leading to repeated hospitalizations and medical debt for ineffective treatment that ultimately caused me to lose my job while making me unable to attend college, leaving me with even more debt for no reward. The pills have caused me too much damage and I don't know why I should ever trust doctors when they start throwing pills at me again. What are your thoughts on this?

But the knowledge that is the biggest illusion is still a real illusion. That’s the whole point of the illusion, is to appear real. Why go to the cinema to watch a movie already knowing the characters on the screen are not real? Sorry James but you enjoy the movie you are in that’s why you continue to watch it, rather than try to escape it via suicide. Escaping the movie is also God escaping the movie. It’s all God. God already knows the movie isn’t real, that suicide isn’t real. God already knows the movie because God created it.

No man, it is only a metaphor. Suicide is escape. Surrendering is burning while alive.

Spiritually or ethically — whatever you want to call it — am I actually allowed to end this? We cannot possibly answer that for you. Is suicide an actual escape from this nightmare, or is it just more pain somewhere else? No there's no escape, you will only have to go through the same lessons in the next life until you evolve past that point. So think of it this way, you could be repeating the same pattern for thousands of lifetimes unknowingly. Let nature take its course, if the world becomes too much, you can always wander into the forest or live off-grid and never look back. There are many better options out there. There are billionaires who have done this (let all their material go) and are living much happier lives. I've been through hell and back several times in my life, it ultimately comes down to peace of mind. I realized since i was young that our human spirit was never designed for the world we live in today, especially the modern (artificial world), so to speak, rather its a distortion or disease within consciousness, that's how i've always seen it at least. Your role is to decide what works best for you and follow / live that way. Because man-made laws and rules are there, but they are not universal truths or laws, so there are always ways around that system (without violating its laws / rules) but you'll have to live and train yourself to live quite a different life than you've been brought up with. Its hard but pays off eventually. Give it another 5 - 10 years, the whole modernized world will likely crumble under its own core-rupted-ness.

@ted73104 I'll sign up for government assisted suicide today if possible test me I'll drink their concoction I'm out

@ted73104 My answer to Camus question is yes to suicide as the fundamental question before anything else, I'm ready. Yet he won the nobel prize and there is no talk beyond a yes only the no to rebel against life but I'm not going to rebel against an indifferent void that leaves me for interchangeable dust in the end. I personally disagree with life it's BS the whole set up is schitzophrenic madness or as Camus casually calls it "Absurdism". And no the options for a painless death don't seem readily available but I should have the right to exit.

This is a good question! Oh wait this is my own post ... I'm still ready for government assisted suicide I really have no idea why systems are in place to force people to remain alive like I can't talk to literally no one who respects my decision I want to die, literally people revert to forcing me to remain surviving even if it means hospitalization, forced medications and being labelled mentally deranged. I literally answer Camus number one question before all other philosophical inquiries as to whether or not to commit suicide and my answer is yes suicide is the answer for me personally but after that nothing else with actual assisted methods or respect for such choices - Like what am I supposed to do risk a do it yourself setup and risk botching it like how are you supposed to be born with no fucking exit - fuck that - There are lives out there easily visible that shouldn't be happening like slavery in ancient Rome for example, some cosmic force should have interviewed and prevented that shit, hopefully I don't die and spawn into worse of circumstances - To be born is essentially schitzophrenia madness like god is sadistic and doesn't know itself and a glitching shitty A.I. - To even be alive is madness, seriously, so in other words Camus calls it "Absurdism" which in other words is essentially schitzophrenia madness

Bro I think the life purpose course is gonna change your life You didn't elaborate much on this part but it leaves me very concerned for your mindset : Cognitively, I feel like I have a very clear plan and a path forward right now. I'm planning to work in my current job for a few year, save up some money, start a family. On the side, I would like to explore and start working towards my life purpose, and then eventually make the switch full-time after I've saved up some money and am sure about my life purpose. So really you have no plan and just hope it works out? That's what it reads to me. I don't know what industry you're in but surely you know that there is a huge wave of automation layoffs coming to all industries in the next 5 years? And I don't know how well versed you are in macroeconomics, finance and cryptocurrency but tl;dr the value of most fiat currencies is has been going to shit and is predicted to keep massively doing so over the next 10 years meaning the average job will pay less yearly? I'm very glad you lost motivation for your random job by just hearing about the possibility of a life purpose type orientation for your career. Obviously don't quit your job right away but not starting a business or at least a specialized career in this day and age is financial suicide.

Well it depends on what you call bullshit. I've seen enough videos of people getting killed (murder and suicide) and I have to spend some hours afterwards in shock processing their dumbness. But at the end you laugh at the stupidity. You can hurt others, it is your own choice.

The history of Europe is the history of total war. Until not too long ago, it was assumed that the natural state of nations was war. Periods of peace were merely intervals between wars. Everyone enjoyed themselves with their colorful uniforms, drums, and trumpets, their bows, victories, and defeats, until the First World War arrived. Then the game shifted from a “savage sport of gentlemen” to “absolute horror.” From that cauldron of horror emerged dreadful figures who could only think of the next satanic orgy, while in Asia the Japanese descended into a state of collective madness, their repressed and ceremonial nature erupting into a wave of total aggression. With those ingredients came the Second World War, when the gates of hell opened. Let’s not deceive ourselves: the Americans and the British were simply a better business than the Nazis and the Japanese. And the gray empire that Russia imposed for decades over much of Europe was a sentence to suicidal depression. Thanks to the gods, who gifted us those works of art of destruction called nukes, the satanic orgy did not repeat itself again and again. Now humanity is condemned to understand each other, since the only alternative is annihilation. The law of life, which would have forced us to keep fighting forever for the sake of evolution, has met an absolute limit: the apocalypse. So, only the era of peace remains, one that will inevitably come sooner or later. Perhaps then we will all commit suicide together, out of sheer lack of meaning.

Resolve the core issue rather cause more issues by becoming a pariah state the world hates and getting hated on wherever you go as a tourist, sadly. Their not threatened from all sides. Their existence isn't at stake - its not a survival issue but a security issue caused by occupation. In other words - a security dilemma they have created by their own actions and continue to perpetuate rather than resolving the core issue. If a man takes my brother hostage with his gun to his head and arm around his neck - I don't just bomb the both of them. I also don't ask the criminal to step to the side to make space between him and my brother so I can bomb him anyway. If he wants something in exchange - it depends on what he's asking for. If the demand is nonsense and maximalist (such as I commit suicide in exchange for my brothers life ie Israel doesn't exist in exchange for a Palestinian state) then things get complicated and messy. If its a balanced demand (ie they want to exist in a Palestinian state with sovereignty along side Israel) then it should be entertained. If the demand is for a inalienable right the world already has consensus on and that I have little ground in standing in the way of - unless I want to be hated by the world for doing so and gaslight everyone for being anti-Semitic - then it makes sense to let the right manifest. It's called diplomacy and win-win cooperation - something Western hegemony is too arrogant for.

There’s something deeply twisted in the social expectation that men should surrender themselves in relationships — to yield their sovereignty, to cater, to open themselves up to a stranger and call it love. I’m not talking about partnership built on mutual power. I’m talking about the modern conditioning that frames male fulfillment as the act of giving up the very core of what makes him independent — his throne, his command post, his edge. Look closely. The word surrender is often wrapped in romance — “sweet surrender,” from man and who is to receive the special treatments and privileges as "serenade"? Women are on the receiving end of that a man surrender of resources, time, status, and sovereignty to be approved by a woman sexually. Who gets the luxury of receiving the surrendered masculine? It’s not him. It’s often someone who hasn’t earned that place — a stranger who isn’t stronger, wiser, or more spiritually advanced than him. Why should a man surrender to someone than himself — just because society has baked it into the script of dating and intimacy? It’s not noble. It’s not divine. It’s survival suicide. You’re literally training your nervous system to prioritize the survival of another over your own — and that’s not romantic, it’s pathological. Sovereignty isn’t coldness. It’s clarity. It’s the refusal to give your energy to a system that benefits from your collapse. If you’re not building your kingdom — spiritual, mental, physical — you’re being asked to decorate someone else’s. For me, the deeper I go into sovereignty, the more allergic I become to emotional contracts disguised as spiritual growth. If a woman expects me to give up my edge to make her feel safe, I’m out. That doesn’t mean I’m incapable of love. It means I value self-respect over validation, clarity over codependence, and spiritual autonomy over social conformity

Things in this world can get pretty heavy. Recently a top chess grandmaster and personality i liked to watch to learn about chess died [unconfirmed but most likely due to suicide] based on cheating accusations from Vladimir Kramnik and a whole series of cyber bullying. Be kind to one another and forgive yourself and others.

I feel like there's a lot of context missing here. We don't even know your situation properly so how can we help? You said you budgetted whatever you could and did everything you could, but did you really? I'm not trying to be rude here but are you being honest with yourself and with us? Anyways, my reason for never committing suicide is that your life can always get better. Doesn't matter how dire your life situation is right now, there's always at least SOMETHING you can do to improve your life. And for you it may seem you've tried everything, but as you may know our egos tend to trick ourselves. So maybe there's some ddifferent approach you haven't tried yet who knows? But in the end it's your decision. I've just always viewed suicide as cowardly, at least in the context of emotional suffering like in your case, because how cowardly does one have to be to run away from all their problems in life? Again i don't know your circumstances but that's just how i'd see it if i were in your shoes. And the fact that not knowing what's after death is the only thing stopping you just sounds like an excuse to not take radical action to start changing your life. I'm making a lot of assumptions here because you didn't really give me much to work with, especially considering the limited context you asked this question. I only know that you're 28, live in a moldy room somewhere, have financial problems, and probably lives in the US? Like i don't even know in which country you live. Look man there's always light at the end of the tunnel, even if doesn't seem that way. I truly believe this tho, and i also believe that you can control how you feel about your life. But to end things of i can ask a few questions: In which country do you live? (Different health care systems in different countries) Why do you live in a moldy appartment? (As in what's stopping you from moving to a better place?) Do you have financial constraints? Why? (Can influence your possibilities for getting help or not) What got you to this situation at the age of 28? What past experiences and wvents caused you to feel/live this way? Like if you're going to ask a loaded question as you put it, then at least give the appropriate context so people can actually help you you know? There are just a looot of questions unanswered here, of which the answers to those questions matter a lot on what kind of help you need. Do you have any mental illnesses for example? Are you physivally healthy? Are you not obese? Is your sleep schedule good? Do you have a job? What kind of job and what kind of influence does it have over your life? How much money do you make? Can you make ends meet? Etc. Do you get what i'm saying man? Anyways sorry for the long message but if you're truly considering suicide then get some help brother. And if you can't, then ask yourself why. There's always a way.

I know I'm oversharing this guy but guys really need to see it. This episode really hits like a truck. I also put a summary. This is a structured nested summary of the provided source material, "The disposable man: all lives are not worth the same," based on the transcript excerpts: I. Introduction of the Core Concept: The Brainwashing of the Disposable Man The topic of the talk is the disposable man, discussing ideas that may be difficult for some men to hear because they may cause them to question their identities in a deep, fundamental way. The speaker, Dr. Orion Teraban, asserts that most men on this planet are brainwashed; this word is used because no better alternative describes men's predicament. This brainwashing is supported in a million subtle ways across most cultures and has been going on so long that its existence is completely naturalized. This condition is often mistaken for a biological difference, similar to how women’s historical social conditions were mistaken for their natural inferiority. II. The Historical Analogy: The Kamikaze Script To bring the belief into sharper focus, the historical contrast of the Kamikaze practice during WWII is presented. Kamikaze pilots were young men who were ordered to dive-bomb American battleships, resulting in their death but potentially killing hundreds of the enemy. They were highly honored and their self-sacrifice in the service of others was established as the highest goal a man could attain. The crucial, often unstated, element is that the "others" were primarily women sheltered on the home front; thus, self-sacrifice in the service of women was the highest goal. The speaker argues that a healthy, functioning man would not voluntarily surrender his life, especially given the protoplasmic desire of every cell to continue living, without an overarching ideology (like patriotism or love) and significant propaganda and indoctrination. The Modern Parallel: Men today are still raised to imitate the divine wind. The core belief programming men is that men are most useful as sacrifices, and their usefulness is proportional to the size of their sacrifice. Culture programs men in insidious ways to die or be willing to die when necessary so their sacrifice might be useful to others, especially to women. This programming is suggested as a large part of why far more men commit suicide than women. III. Manifestations of Male Disposability A. Literal Sacrifice and Governmental Mandates The Kamikaze comparison is both literal and figurative. Literal Sacrifice exists today as men are sent to war to die for causes they may not understand or benefit from. In the United States, men are forced to enroll in Selective Service, a program many American women are unaware of. This lack of concern stems from the belief that men are the disposable sex and expendable. The speaker suggests that collectively fewer wars might have been fought historically if belligerents were forced to send women—the "valued sex"—into battle. B. Figurative Sacrifice in Relationships Men are more commonly expected to make a figurative self-sacrifice in the service of women. This involves giving up hopes, dreams, interests, friends, happiness, and the possibility of happiness if these things conflict with his duty to his woman. Men are urged to "grow up, man up, and step up" when action benefits a woman's interests, not necessarily their own self-interest. C. Economic Sacrifice and the Argument for Partial Slavery Romantic relationships are argued to be the largest wealth redistribution program in history, whether wealth is transferred through taxes/social programs or material expectations of courtship/marriage. Even opting out offers little protection, as the bachelor tax has been "rebranded as the tax advantages of filing jointly". Men's income (single, married, or divorced) is expected to support women partially, a way that women’s income is never expected to support men. The belief that one is entitled to another person's wealth implies an entitlement to the labor that created that wealth. Believing one is entitled to another person's labor is defined as slavery. This is considered a partial, proportional, and indirect form of slavery that operates functionally in plain sight, and the speaker argues that even partial forms of slavery are abominable and must be called out. IV. The Psychology of Compliance and Resistance The speaker expects most pushback to the ideas presented to come from men, not women. A significant subset of men has so deeply identified with the programming that they have elevated sacrifice in the service of women to an ideal and a source of pride. These men are argued to suffer from a kind of Stockholm syndrome, having imbued this "captive ideology" with positive, even holy or "divine wind," attributes. The depth of this programming is further demonstrated by men who are depressed, hopeless, and self-loathing because they currently lack a beneficiary (a woman) to whom they can offer their lives as sacrifice; they are "soldiers in want of a war". The programming leads men to feel guilty for not getting involved, or ashamed when their sacrifice is rejected as insufficient (like Cain). To show how quickly men become reasonable regarding self-sacrifice, the speaker suggests swapping the gender of the person in distress. While protecting "Kyle" would invoke questions about his actions, self-sufficiency, and the potential gain from intervention, turning "Kyle" into "Carla" changes the situation significantly, especially when "honor" is introduced. V. The Radical Position: The Invitation to Life The solution is for men to recognize the programming and turn away from death and sacrifice, focusing instead on life, abundance, and prosperity. The speaker takes the radical position that his life, hopes, and dreams are no less valuable than a woman’s. He argues that a life without honor (not the same as dishonor) is preferable to a death with honor, a concept most women implicitly understand. A man's life is not less precious on the basis of his gender, and accepting this will lead to more peace, justice, and equality in the world. The traditional masculine desire for honor and glory is often exploited, acting like a "bull fighter's cape" that leads men right into the sword. Men are challenged to move beyond merely dying for their women, and instead choose to live for them—meaning they must be healthy, take care of themselves, be abundant, and share resources. Dying in the service of an ideal, while courageous, may be an escape from a higher calling: the invitation not to death, but to life—to be healthy, virtuous, strong, powerful, abundant, and prosperous (classical virtues existing before Christianity). While self-sacrifice (exemplified by Christ) is a good thing, the ideal is easily exploited by others. Life demands more than death, and choosing life is often the harder choice. VI. Conclusion and Resources The speaker encourages listeners to send the episode to someone who might benefit and supports the channel through word-of-mouth referrals. Resources available include: a free weekly newsletter, paid one-on-one consultation sessions, the book The Value of Others (exploring intersexual relationships through behavioral economics), and the member community, The Captain's Quarters. The Captain’s Quarters offers access to a cadre of like-minded, supportive individuals, bimonthly group consultation sessions hosted by the speaker, and exclusive content.

@DocWatts they are not joking about driving people to suicide. I was in the hospital for mental health where I met other trauma survivors. Some of them were victims of modern day neo nazis who tried to drive them to suicide after doing the same to their friends. They coerce them into jumping off of bridges to disguise the murder as suicide and they get away with this constantly. This is why the suicide statistics are wrong. As it stands nearly 50 percent of murder cases are never solved. That is not counting the proxy suicide murderers because they are not even being recorded as murders. I am also a survivor of a proxy suicide attempt by my abusive family member. I was being targeted even more because of my severe depression and there was sadistic pleasure on the harm being caused with impunity. The other family members still refuse to admit that abuse is even happening and they tell me I am the problem somehow. I really need to leave, but there are some genuine constraints combined with sentimental bullshit around some family members I love. The point remains is that they are definitely not joking about those suicides. I have met survivors and the legal system is terrible at prosecuting this because they don't take psychological abuse as seriously as physical abuse due to the greater difficulty in proving against plausible deniability without direct words.

Morality takes a backseat when you live in a state of war; what prevails is what works. In cases of open war, it's a good idea to treat prisoners well, as this makes them more likely to surrender. But in wars against terrorism, things are different. The US has Guantanamo , in Germany, terrorists committed mass suicide. If you're a Polisario fighter and you're captured by Morocco, you'll have a bad time. And if you're a Kurdish guerrilla and you're captured by the Turks, it's even worse, if you are a Chechen terrorist and you are going to be captured by Russians, better commit suicide

• "Will to Die": His philosophy, influenced by Schopenhauer but far more extreme, centered on the idea that the fundamental driving force of the universe is a "Will to Die" (Wille zum Tode), the reverse of Schopenhauer's "Will to Live." • "God's Suicide": Mainländer theorized that at the beginning of time, a unitary God (or Monad) chose to commit suicide out of a desire for absolute nothingness, shattering itself into the time-bound fragments that constitute the universe. In this view, existence itself is the decaying corpse of God, and all life carries an inherent, unconscious desire for annihilation as the ultimate "redemption." • Redemption: For Mainländer, death was the desired liberation, and the purpose of humanity and all existence was to collectively aim for peaceful extinction, or "cosmic euthanasia."