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What would happen to you in the spirit world if you reached full enlightenment, but then soon after you committed physical suicide? Not out of hatred or depression for this world, your love for this physical world is very deep, but you just felt like playing a different game, to just go to the other side sooner because you simply wanted to. It could thought of as, you love your country, but you feel like living in another country because you just want to. How would this affect your reincarnation cycle? I understand if you reach enlightenment, your reincarnation cycle ends, but if you commit suicide after enlightenment would you be somehow forced to go back into the reincarnation cycle? Also, would you be left in some lower dimension or even hell if you did this even after enlightenment? Or maybe somehow cause yourself some other negative consequence. Or would it all be the same as just dying of natural causes, where you would end up going into some very high dimension and be free of the reincarnation cycle?

So for a few years now i use lsd to open the gates so to say. I am already way past my mind and my ego when i am in that state and i experience myself as God (i become everything in my experience) I always sit down, Focus on my sense of being and than "the god head" opens up within me and huge amounts of energy flood my System. Sometimes the Energy gets so strong that i have the feeling if i go on i will physically die or my nervous System will be deytroyed. I then stop the process because i dont want to leave my body yet. Everytime i let the Energy flood my System, my consciousness expands even more though... Its maybe important to mention that my ego already dissolved when i am in that state of flooding myself with energy. It just feels like im going deeper and deeper into what i TRULY am and at a certain point Its just too much for my body. It Literally starts hurting in my nerves... Now my question is should i just go deeper and is there no danger to my body or should i go slow? Is this maybe just some ego Mechanism, which is still there and keeps me from having full enlightenment? Thx

What is full enlightenment..?

"Reality is what’s happening right now in my senses” Guys and Leo, I can’t break through using this principle to get to full enlightenment. Because every time I use it, it makes me very egocentric, grounding the illusion of myself even harder. I do not feel repulsion toward this principle, in fact, it inflates my Ego, when it is eating the idea that “Reality that I sense right now at this very present moment is the only Reality in general” Using this principle, it does not allow me to get rid of this “me” sensation. Can you please help me? I am using the principle, described by Leo in the video below, rewind to 41st minute. Thank you. https://actualized.org/articles/how-to-become-enlightened

"IM" NOT THE BEST AT GETTING MY THOUGHTS ACROSS BARE WITH "ME" Little background: •20 year old male, in college, has a girlfriend, produces music, just started smoking weed and self inquiring, own apartment this and that blah blah blah MAJOR EPIPHANY WATCHING LEOS MEANING VIDEO ITS ALL A STORY In order for you to exist you have to be a story. You have to think of yourself in the first place. You created yourself. There's nothing there, there's nothing reading this there's ABSOLUTELY nothing to do in life, nothing to go, nowhere for anyone to go. It's all illusion, every single thing "you do" in life is part of a story. As these thumbs press on this keyboard there is no one doing it just as there is no one reading this WHY!? Because you had to tell yourself that your doing this in the first place in order to justify your "existence". What if................ everything is predetermined and simultaneously every action you do you think of a thought to tell yourself that you did that. NOTICE how to HAVE TO DO STUFF IN LIFE IN ORDER TO FEEL LIKE YOURE THERE EGO NEEDS REASON, ego is the cause for all it's problems and it's not noticeable at all cause you think this is all real. You think your family is precious, you think your job is important, you think you have to live, you think about depression, you think about happiness, DO YOU SEE!!? YOU CLAIM THINGS THAT NEVER EXISTED, no guidelides whatsoever in reality. WHEN THERES NO ONE THERE, nobody is responsible for anything. You didn't achieve that big win. You didn't read this post. You didn't have sex with your spouse. YOU JUST SIMPLY CLAIMED ALL THOSE THINGS. REALITY JUST SIMPLY IS. IS. is the only word to describe it no reason for a "me" posting this stat think of this as reality talking to reality yet I JUST PUT YOU BACK IN THE ILLUSION by presuming there's a you in the first place do whatever is your(realitys) passion is in life. It's double fulfillment when there's no you with all this being said it's like engaging in a false story it bares no weight. THOSE IG FOLLOWERS Bares no weight . That house "you" worked ya whole life for bears no weight. Wasting time bares no weight. Living the best possible life bares no weight. ITS ALL A GAME, look at me game, ya see, YOU NEED RECOGNITION. YOU NEED IT YOU NEED IT YOU NEED IT. Hell the only reason there's a you is because 1. you THINK 2. Therefore you think others think: Let me give this example later.. There's no reason to even speak, learn, communicate or anything. It's all just fundamentally sounds and colors that point to nothing. POINT YOUR FINGER AT THE WALL ,if you did, notice how you "subconsciously" said "you" did that. Now DO IT AGAIN BUT DONT EVEN THINK. Oh wait now look, you just told yourself not to think reinforcing your existence. THE ILLUSION GETS DEEP AND TRICKY. For no one. JUST BECAUSE YOUR AN HUMAN BEING MAKES YOU NO IMPORTANT THAN THE SPECK OF DUST ON THE FLOOR from reality point of view. Come to realitys point of view. Ego hates the meltdown, TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY IS TO LOVE REALITY, 99.99% of all Evil is of ego. THE EGO LOVES TO THINK WHEH IT IS NOT THERE THEN THERES NOTHING BUT VIOLENCE AND LAZYNESS. YOU WANT A LOT OF MONEY TO HAVE NOTHING TO DO IN LIFE AND LIVE COMFORTABLY YET WHEN" YOU" get there......... YOURE TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO TO ESCAPE BOREDOM. Boredom is SUBCONSCIOUSLY TELLING YOU THAT YOU DONT EXIST 99.99% of the Time SOLITARY = NO AUDIENCE TO SHOWCASE YOURSELF TO THEREFORE NO STORY TO TELL WATCH A MOVIE ON BUDDHA SITTING THERE. It would get 0 stars because there's no story EGO LOVES STORIES YUMMY ' but stories are just stories. REALITY TAKING A CRAP IN YOUR MOM IS COMPLETELY FINE. It's only a problem for "YOU" everything is only a problem for "YOU" THERES NO BIRTH OR DEATH OR MOM OR DAD OR SON OR DAUGHTER ITS ALL A STORY. You told yourself you was born, THEREFORE YOU THINK YOU WILL DIE. Notice how" I" can't refer to anything without using the word you. Don't interpret nada dam thing. look at the letters as shapes. BRAINFART I JUST REINSTILLED A YOU. You cannot fight illusion with illusion because there's no you in the first place. THE BEST PLACE NO ONE CAN GET RN IS WITH A LIFE WITH NO YOU WHICH IS GOD Saying I'm everything therefore nothing is bad. YOURE NOT EVERYTHING IT REINFORCES A YOU. You're nothing. LET THE STORY DIE ALready it's a land of fulfillment. FOR NO ONE BUT [IS] THERES NOTHING U CAN DO MAN THESE WORDS GOTTA SOUND FAMILIAR, yet you try anyway REINFORCING A YOU, LIKE LEO SAID ALL "PROBLEMS" and "addictions still there , but for no one. Example: "I love my mom more than anything" ok so Your selfishness is willing to cast of 7 billion people to save your mom? "Yeah I can't let go of my mom " What will you and your mom talk about, NOTHING THERES NO NEWS NO PEOPLE NO SPORTS MO ENTERTAINMET NOT A SINGLE SOUL FOR THE YOU TO TALK ABOUT TO Make itself feel real NOTHING WILL ALWAYS MELT AWAY YOU. People get on your case about shit because someone else got on their case about shit. EGOS EGOS EGOS I CAN GO ON BUT GET THE GIST WITH THAT BEING SAID THE LOVE FOR MUSIC WAS ALWAYS THERE WITH OR WITHOUT ME. Listen to instrumentals and music and dance with realitys winds ALL SONGS CONTAINING LYRICS IS JUST A STORY EGOS LOVES STORISS ESPECIALLY DEPRESSINV ONES BECAUSE LITTLE EGO CANT CONTROL ITS OWN LIFE SO IT COMPENSATES BY L"IVING" IN YOUR "HEAD" aha nirvana buddy nirvana PEACE LOVE THANKS FOR READING LETS ALL SUPPORT OURSELVES AND PROMOTE EACJ OTHER BECAUSE WE ALL ARE ONE. theres nothing out there to get and there never was. BASK IN THE EMPTINESS OF LIFE AND YOU GET THE PURE JOY OF LIVING...,,. DOING NOTHING WHICH EGO DEMKNIZES AS LAZY. No REASON to Eat sleep crap sex games gamble. ITS ALL for the EGO. Whatever happens SIMPLY [IS] so simple so simple. NOTICE HOW YOU BEG FOR ATTENTION "YOU" EVEN THINK THERES VALUE IN PEOPLE IGNORING YOU HENCE WHY WE HAVE CELEBRITIEZ whatever this is keeps typing but it's best to stop cause this is not my thought process now. "I" can't and will never be able to communicate this shit. I TRIED WITH "MY" GIRL It makes completely no sense.. EGOLESS LANGUAGE LESS WORLD = orgys no ego to get in the way of getting down to business OBSERVE ANIMals DOGS GO STRAIGHT TO HUMPING THERS NO DOG TAKING ANOTHER DOG OUT TO EAt. LIVE IN REALITY EGOLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ITS INFINITE

Yes, permanent awakening is not my goal, my goal in life is to have as many rich and varied experiences as possible. I love the form, I love the different qualities, that's the whole point of being human to me. Don't get me wrong, from a human standpoint I rarely have almost any negative emotions, my daily life is filled with fun, enjoyment, and love (of the human level), most of the time I am aware to varying degrees that I am god, and I can usually even enter some kind of state of nondual awareness, and I don't feel like I am hearing or seeing things, et cetera, they just happen. Now maybe that sounds like a really good state, but when I said I consider this suffering I meant pretty much any human state that includes a body, because to me it just seems that anything you can do as a human doesn't come even close to what I've experienced. It's part of being human. Maybe suffering was a too strong word to use, I don't know how to convey it, but what I mean isn't just a sort of peace, I can enter those kinds of peaceful states easily. I don't mean it in the sense of craving or desire. I don't believe that desire is what causes suffering, after all, this is God's desire. The kind of state that I would consider 'full enlightenment' for me is on the scale of infinite consciousness, and I'm just not going to be able to sustain that. My consciousness would be too focused on consciousness itself to actually do anything, I need a lower level of consciousness to even be able to function as a human. I also know all of those were my imaginations, but I love my imagination, imagination is one of the things I enjoy the most. I love form, but also the formless. I also love the truth, but I love a lot of other things too. I'm too madly in love with my girlfriend that I could take time away from her (and a lot of other things) for the sole pursuit of enlightenment. Psychedelics give me a nice way to get both. I've experienced both, and I don't want solely one or the other. Even when I enter any kind of peak state and do once again reach different levels of awakening ranging from basic awakenings to becoming conscious of infinite degrees of love and so on, I never regret having lived like this, and would not trade it for some sort of higher level of total permanent awakening. It's just what I like, I like both sides.

In this context when i say highest goal i mean full dissolution of ego. Total wipe out of samskaras and defilements. That's very buddhist version of full enlightenment/liberation. Mystism is like exploration of different dimensions of consciouness.

In the Buddhist scriptures there are many examples of men who became instantly enlightened by hearing the words of the Buddha. But in modern society, people meditate for decades without any improvement. Could it have been the different in culture? The men in Buddha’s time came from tribes and had the tribal world view and a non materialistic mindset. It didn’t take much for them to transition into full enlightenment. The purple stages were overcome through violence, not because they lacked anything. Thus, the conquering stages had better military strength. Having thousands of people as slaves building irrigation systems for the Nile is not an improvement of cognitive ability.

@A_v_E I'm sorry, this might be helpful if you are working at some absolute level, but this doesn't help people day to day. For average people that are not in a place where full enlightenment is their life, working under the philosophy of trying to maximize happiness through normal means is a lot more helpful. Don't lose touch with 99% of the population

Before I started taking enlightenment work seriously around 2017 I had a huge delay in almost everything material related compared to my "peers" This is one of the reasons I pursued this work so ardently, I basically believed that anyone who had something going on was enlightened in some way for that thing to work, since I always saw beyond people's justifications on how things worked out for them: basically people take credit for good things and disown the bad results while I saw that everything is context, everything is God's will... So with that in mind I decided to go for full enlightenment first and foremost in order to manifest this dream the way I always intuited it can be. Fast forward to now, after all the ego deaths and consciousness exapnsion to include everything and all that good stuff, I (ego me) turned out to be the ultimate loser, if anything I feel that pure consciousness aside, I am worst off than the place I started, and I feel way too bitter and broken about it, to the point where I feel like no matter what happens, "this" cannot even be recontextualized... I'm afraid I wont ever turn out to be happy, content, or winning. I am full of bitterness, apathy, desires for revenge... and all the consciousness I used to tap into is now fully gone, it's just ego, I understand now what "devil" means, what falling from grace is all about. BUT, knowing things in the way I do now, I know that this too IS God, but I just can't grow from it, I'm also too conscious to just go back into "ordinary existance" and climb my way up the ordinary way, so what I basically concluded after all the pain is that existance (for me) is me realizing that the universe exists for me to fulfill my ego's desires, but for that to happen I literally need a miracle, the question is now how would one go about that? How would one manifest a miracle for the greater good of one's ego? This inquiry may seem like a joke to many people here who believe that this is all unspiritual and that I'm full of shit, but it is what it is. To me, Ego, Self, God and Consciousness are (still) synonimous and I can't differentiate between the them. So I believe it is a geniune desire of god to win through little limited me; OR; It is my geniune desire to win THE WAY I WANNA WIN in order to fall back in love with existance. Can this be done? Deep down I know it can totally be done, and sometimes I even intuit that it's EASY, but from the limited place I am in, it feels like it's too much to carry and I just go into lethargy blaming myself (as God) How does one go about reversing this basically? has anyone dealt with this? I have the intuition that Leo has gone (is going) through similar things but I feel that he just focuses too much on one side of the equation without going too much into detail about things like shadow work, ego validation, the necessity of selfishness in love... To summerize things, my ultimate question through this post is this: How does one take FULL control/lucidity of reality? How does one take reality's power in order to serve one's ego?

Ego death could be regarded as enlightenment. Depending on how one frames it, no-self can be regarded as the central aspect of enlightenement - but then again, it's the exact same as Infinity and Love. Seen from a different point of view, ego death doesn't happen because the ego was an illusion to begin with. There really is nothing that could die, you're smack in the middle of enlightenment right now. But it's the recognition of this, that is what is generally considered as "enlightenment". Although even to speak of a "recognition" or "realization" or "becoming conscious of" is still not "full enlightenment" (which is the same as no-enlightenment) in my view and the big punchline still awaits those who think they're enlightened - or that they could ever have been un-enlightened. You are enlightenment, period. No work and no realization will ever change anything about that. Spirituality is one big game, at the end of which you will find yourself in the exact same place where you started. It's a total, perfect mindfuck.

There is no monk, no enlightened beings, no full enlightenment, no photograph. You can not burn yourself, you can so to speak, recognize yourself.

@Raptorsin7 yes. That's the whole point. That's why people worship them as enlightened beings. That's what full enlightenment looks like. Not eating potato chips releasing tension. Talking nondual phylosophy.

@Mason Riggle That's crazy!! Like an Eckhart Tolle sudden awakening? I've been pushing myself hard to silence all thoughts (false answers — every answer — to my question "Who am I?"). Fortunately, I'm finally just starting to get the hang of taking breaks whilst some of the inquiry fire is kept alight, so I don't have to go back and re-experience the more difficult starting part of the process every time I return to formally practicing with everything I have. Would you say that you need to be, to at least some degree, 'dead inside'/'emotionally numb' to see this thing through to full enlightenment?

I know because of my personal experience with rigorous meditation. I wish I could communicate how radically my baseline state of being has shifted from before starting on the path to now. It’s utterly beautiful how much life has transformed and Im continually blown away by how deep meditation is. Every time I sit down it feels like Im microdosing on psychedelics, often times it feels stronger than a microdose. But this has only come after very intense practice. How do I know? By reflecting on my own experience. I mean seeking without the attachment of finding any answers. The joy of curiosity and the path is not in the breakthroughs, but with the pursuit of the path itself. For example, the hours upon hours one spends in meditation wont lead to breakthroughs or insights. Insights do arise but are the overwhelming minority. Yet those hours we spend will be some of the most fulfilling in our lives. Once it’s recognized there is no one actually seeking, the energy of seeking can fully flower in a relaxed, spontaneous, and powerful way. This seeking comes from the detachment of being anyone or anything at all. The belief in a separate self is what creates the contraction around seeking that some spiritual communities criticize. Something valuable is lost if one prematurely stops before full enlightenment. I can’t communicate what is lost. The only way you’d truly know is by gaining that which cannot be gained, attaining that which was always so, and contrasting its significance in your own experience. If your decision feels authentic, then don’t let me dissuade you. No judgements persay and certainly no fear. Ive just seen this type of rationale before. The possibility for self-deception and avoiding the work is rampant in many. But also, practice, the work, the path all have contractive periods. Sometimes we must contract before we expand. Sometimes an entire life is one of contraction. Im not saying that’s the case here, just sharing thoughts.

@Consilience It feels like it chose me, if I'm being honest. I grew up in the Pentecostal church, so I was familiar with the phenomenon of spontaneous movements. When I discovered this form of Yoga, it just felt like home. Back in 2010, I had done several Enlightenment Intensives where I directly experienced the truth of Who and What I am. It's not hyperbole when I say it completely changed the course of my life. The problem though was that I could not retain the peace and joy that came with those realizations. For a few weeks after a retreat, I would feel the absolute perfection of existence. Nothing would bother me, and I could easily rest in my own true nature. Then inevitably, things would begin to nag me again. I would get angry or upset. I couldn't figure out what had changed. I decided that I needed a spiritual practice to stabilize my realizations. I tried Zen, but it didn't resonate. I read books and attempted to figure things out on my own, but I quickly recognized the need for a teacher. The Enlightenment Intensive had worked so well for me, I decided to see what practices the founder of the retreat used. That's how I discovered Sahaja Yoga. The purpose of kriyas is purification. What is described as being purified varies between teachers. Some say sanchit karma, some say prana, some say the mind, and all are correct. Whatever is true is true right now. Nothing new is gained with realization, but something is lost. To realize what is true in this moment, limiting beliefs and false concepts have to be discarded. In the Enlightenment Intensive, which some of Peter's programs are based on, contemplation is the tool used to purify the mind enough so that a breakthrough can occur. @kieranperez said the same basic thing. Even more importantly is the purification that is needed to abide as the truth. The classic yogic texts all echo the same idea, both jnana and yoga are required for moksha. Even Sri Shankaracharya said that if you cannot grasp Vedanta then more Hatha is required. Charles Berner, later known as Yogeshwar Muni, had many enlightenment experiences, but he was astute enough to see that chasing more and more peak experiences could not result in full enlightenment. That is why he sought out a teacher, and after meeting Swami Kripalu, he found what he was looking for. He spent the remainder of his life performing Yoga sadhana for 10 hours a day. The gradual vs sudden enlightenment argument is a very old one, and both sides are true from a perspective. I say get it if you can get it. If you can't get it right away, then keep trying. Yes, my sadhana is complete surrender. Kripalu and Muktananda are different branches of the Siddha tree, but yes, we always have to be careful of corruption.

I really wish people would be careful while trying to find the 'Truth', especially when psychedelics are involved. Because your insights can be completely misinterpreted which can slowly send you in a downward spiral toward depression and suicide. You can go on train of thought which goes only one direction, which is down. It's important to stay grounded in reality. Make sure your insights actually have some kind of basis and fundament to it. Take baby steps, don't try to aim for full enlightenment immediately. It's like when people just learn to drive they immediately want to drive a sportscar with 2000horsepower and test its limits, while on drugs. The chances if you getting hurt are extremely high. Cross-check your insights with other experienced and grounded people. And if you feel you are on a downward trajectory, seek real help.

wrong question. did you ever stop praying after enlightenment? would be the question to answer this notion of what full enlightenment probably is. if not every moment of your life became like a prayer, you, like me probably always ever only had glimpses.

"The greatest wisdom and growth lies with where you least want to look." - Paraphrasing Jordan Peterson September 6th, 2020. Intention: What is death? Last trip was 1.0g of a stem. This trip is 1.5g with a stem and a cap. Now caps are said to be more potent. So I was wary about adding an additional 0.5 grams, along with it being a cap. This is my second trip on Psycadellics. My body and mind is in great fear. But my intuition is playing to win. So I continue on with the trip. 1.5 g of psilocybin Melmac magic mushrooms. Melmac, AKA P.E. , "Penis Envy" mushrooms, are said to be bred for potency. So they're highly potent. Taken via Lemon tek. (soaked in lemon juice) +++ The trip report goes as follows: >Something with an arrow is more of an after the fact commentary. Something without an arrow is documentation while in the trip. +++ >Meditated in the morning for 20 minutes. >Sliced up some watermelon. Got some bananas, got my waters, and a puke bucket. Taken at 11:15 A.M. Last time I danced before the come up, this time I ran before taking it, and then danced before the come up. Realizing what I put myself into, I immediately start becoming more authentic and singing boom de yada, I'm ready to surrender, my intuition tells me. Yeah I should have contemplated death consciously before going into this trip, but I'll be ready for next time. As I should have contemplated intuition sober before my last trip but I didn't. Going to my trips from now on, I will make sure that I contemplate before the trip to then contemplate it while on the trip. I will have plenty of time to do that because my trip right here right now is going to be my last one for a little while because I'm going on a juice fast. 11:20 So far my hands are looking good, the last time they were looking real foreign. I'm noticing the shake in my hands when I quickly turn it around using my arm and wrist. The lemon Tek was soaking for about 45 minutes. I noticing a subtle change in cognition while I'm singing and dancing to the song boom de yada. Subtle forms of regret but also to overpower that with full confidence and surrender. I'm in this now, welcome to the ride. Enjoy. I'm interested in seeing how the trip will come up and up and up in waves. That was the most surreal thing from the last trip, so I'm preparing for that right now. I fully surrender. I give my love out to the world. 11:24 Starting to notice the subtle discolorations in my hand, visual perception is slowly creeping in to increase. Noticing my brain being more connected, Sensations in my brain. I already forgot what I was going to say. Based. I wonder, should I contemplate while I'm getting into the come up, or contemplate while I'm more at the peak? 11:31 I remember that subtle feeling in my chest of sinking down, I'm expecting that. That was last trip, that was my call to surrender. I have affirmed to myself, Everything is Beautiful, Everything Is Love. Subtle tingling in my left arm and hand. 11:40 Because I didn't contemplate before this trip, I'll know the difference for from this time to next time when I contemplate before the trip while sober. My pupils are becoming wider. 11:44 In the present moment. The most subtle movement in my vision. 11:46 Colours more vibrant. It's coming. Subtle nausea. Weird feeling. Anticipating the sinking chest. Vision ability increased. Here we fucking go. 11:50 Mental SHIFT. Watch me be on my twentieth trip and be like "meh". Nausea increased. The body is in a different state of feeling. Going into a trance, sleepy but not drowsy. 11:55 The floor is already several Rivers. Noticing detail that I never noticed before in these rubber mats. Just hit a peak. Noticing fear and anxiety, I must distinguish it with love because it is all love. There is great love coming through. 37 minutes in. Knowing this is only the start, I'm in for a treat. What is authenticity but a death of the self? Lots of yawning So much yawning. 11:58 Floor is moving again. It's pretty predictable to see how some things will move. 12:00 It's growing all over my prefrontal cortex and in my brain. I'm being so taken over. I'm yawning so much. Fingers are long and skinny. Thinking of funny memes. This is going to hit me like a ton of bricks. What did I just get myself into. LOL! I'm so fucking screwed. The ceiling is more clear. Still yawning like fucking crazy. Vision is blurry 12:07 Been having uncomfortable nausea and drowsiness. I just want it to go away, along with the fears of anxiety. Whatever the fuck this is, I Surrender. >I wasn't actually surrendering. 12:15 I was surprised by looking at my trip sitter's face, it was so intense that it freaked me the fuck out. Like turning a corner. I looked at my trip sitter and the focus was her eyes, and her eyes were so fucking big it was surreal. Like giant bug eyes. Really freaked me out. Crouched down in fear going "holy fuck". >See image for visual representation. It was only for half a second because it scared me so much, I looked away quickly. > Note to self: Tell my trip sitters to not look in my direction. Of course the Shadows are going to dance. God. >Shadows on the ceiling are dancing. Was pretty fuckin surreal /scary. Really hitting a peak. God fucking damn it I'm so scared to contemplate death. Entire body tingling. Holyshit. I'm expecting something crazy to happen and for it to hit me like a ton of bricks in an instant. Maybe that will be on a 5 MEO DMT trip. Everything is dancing. I wonder how long the peak and drop is. What's the tempo? Really resisting this trip. I think I must just face the Dragon. Else it will never end. Okay. > I was really having a hard time here, I guess a lot of people would call this point that I was experiencing a bad trip. But because of my research and understanding of psychedelics, there really is no such thing as a bad trip, that's just an interpretation you put upon something. But yeah this is kind of a bad trip, I was not enjoying this part at all. Uncomfortable as fuck. When you're in it though, you have a strange ability to just cope with the load you're given. You're kinda forced to. The shroom forces you. 12:24 I get why people say it's intense. Because you are in this reality now and it's so surreal and amazing, fantastical and magical. All of these positive affirmations are to protect myself. But what is the self? I don't think this feeling of fear is going to go away. I'm so foolish and childish to have set death as an intention. I guess I'm expecting to go somewhere else, but that's somewhere else is right here right now. > Right here, I was expecting to get hit like a ton of bricks in an instant and just go straight to Narnia I guess. This little ego is scared. > I say this to myself in a teasing tone because I'm having such a fucking hard time to surrender consciously. Over time, the mushroom ended up surrendering for me. Starting to forget how phones work. 12:32 Yep. ^^And that just made me burst into laughter. The ego will resist the whole way. Just be mindful! Fucking Christ. Yeah I am peaking hard right now. Arms and legs are so weird but they're so present. Definitely went in a trance. The paintings on the wall are fiercely pulsating. Vision is really fucking blurred, but blurred in a weird way. So surreal. Stomach bad feeling not going away. I'm not sure this is a bad trip or not. I don't think I'm enjoying it. But it's okay. It's all beautiful. >Self talk to keep me from freaking out, wasn't working. >At one point I was scared of my legs. >Having hallucinations of 2D image representations of centipedes when I close my eyes. They have neon turquoise outlines. 12:38 Noticing all the subtleties in everything, especially of my human body. A deep surrender must come from the inside. It is the hand that holds the ego. The higher self holds and encompasses the ego. 12:44 I become so desperate that I lie on the floor and give my love. I am remembering that it is okay to contemplate while lying on the floor. You don't have to be in a lotus position. What is death? What is life? Picking up on noticing the Ego. 12:53. I go in full crying. >Just roaring crying like I've never cried before. Full on tantrum like a 3 year old. I'm being purified. >My trip sitter comes down to try and comfort me, gives me a pillow and tissue to blow my nose because I asked her for a tissue. >I was whaling and sobbing in a crying fit stomach down on the floor and yelling "This ego doesn't want to die!" while clawing at the floor. >Imagine a 3 year old tantrum crying fit in a grown man's body. >I just needed to cry this out, I wish my trip sitter would've left me sooner to cry deeper, feeling like I've missed out on a deeper purification. She stayed there for basically my entire peak. Like 10 mins. But now that I think about it, she asked me some questions that allowed me to get in that crying purification fit in the first place. Going forward, I'll ask her to listen to me when I say "please leave". Give me a pillow and some tissue, and then leave. Her being there beside me, made me resist more because I didn't want to surrender with her around me. >Note to self: Tell my trip sitter to ask if I need anything, and if I say "NO!" to actually listen and promptly leave. My emotions came out to surface on the same level of my regular function. +++ >See attached image Diagram of Sober vs Peaking on Shrooms Sober is Suppression. Peaking on shrooms is expression. Orange represents your authentic emotions and desires. All of the shit you unconsciously and consciously suppress. Purple represents the many masks you wear, from the way you walk, talk, think and act. All just bullshit masks. While peaking, deep emotions come through no problem. +++ > At this point I could have been hallucinating, but I didn't notice because my head was basically looking at the floor while on the floor. And I was so enveloped in the emotion. So overpowered by the emotion, crying and stuff. 1 hour and 44 minutes in, this is the biggest peak I've had. The ego will claw until it can't. It will fight, fight, fight. That's what it is. I'm doing trauma work right here. Death is something I fear and cry about. Going on a psychedelic it is like going into EMDR therapy. You don't want to go but it's so worth it. You need to go in there and cry. I've just been purified. A purification is fully surrendering to your fears and realizing just what it is, objectively. Just full acceptance. 1:14 Getting a 3rd person view of this arm. That's why your hands and arms are so foreign. You're looking at these extremities as if it's the first time you're looking at them. From God's perspective. >They are skinny. Motherfucking Salad Fingers. (look up salad fingers) >You realize just how weird of an ape you are. All of your anxiety is fucking stupid. So fucking stupid. Just let the ego die for full Enlightenment to come through. >Let the higher self shine forth. Don't worry too much about surrendering, the shroom will do the surrendering for you. Whether you like it or not. You will eventually surrender. > it will beat you to a pulp. What's the difference between death and life? I need to contemplate this sober to give myself a solid foundation. I'm frustrated at this phone not picking up my voice properly when I put voice to text. Just like how a plant will grow, fruit and replant and then die and then be reborn again, When did it ever start to live in when did it ever stop? This body is just a continuation of the egg and sperm. I was never born, I was always born. I'm just now in this current form. +++ >See image Text in the pic, from left to right: " Infinity (representing that this chain goes on for infinity) What you call your life (vs what it actually is) Life - - - - - Death Where along this (infinite) chain is your actual birth & death? What you don't realize is that you ARE an/(the) infinite chain. Infinity (representing that this chain goes on for infinity) " Your being is an infinite chain of weaving in and out. >Imagine a grass-like plant growing, then fruiting, then the seed of the fruit falls, and replants itself. Then the old plant dies, while the new plant grows. And this chain goes on forever. Infinitely forward into the future, and infinitely backwards into the past. Instead of identifying with a single iteration of a plant, calling that your life, why not identify with the entire chain? ++++ 1:31 Death doesn't exist because what the fuck is it? You don't go anywhere, you just keep flowing. You're just a consciousness experiencing this human being, this Avatar, this vessel, to another. What. I am literally infinite. I'm crying so much. This is rapture. Nausea is completely gone. Death is not what you think it is, what a mind fuck. A beautiful mind fuck. You are like a hand clasping the tarantula. The hand being the higher self, the tarantula being the ego. The tarantula being upside down. A mind fuck isn't a bad thing. This stupid fucking ego fears this idea that it has created. >(The idea being death.) You have to face your fears, in order to finally get past that and take a look at what is. What is actually going on. You have your preconceived notion of what it is, and you just created a fear out of something you created, instead of looking at it objectively and having no fear at all. > You created the fear to prevent you from looking at it, because if you did look at your fears, you'd pull aside the curtain and realize that it is all a sham. > This ego created that fear of death to help its survival. It actually created the concept of death, and then created the fear of the concept! There is literally NOTHING Left to Fear. When you get past death, what the fuck else can scare you?! I'm going to die. And that's okay. It being okay is the fucked-up part. Once you face death there is literally nothing else to fear. 1:49 Reality is nothing but a bunch of surprises, gleefully and joyfully jumping out at you and surprising yourself. Reality is just a "fun ride". It always was. Just like that space astronaut meme. It always has been. >See image of the meme I made. >I am conscious that me being God is still held as a belief, a scaffolding built by Leo's lessons. I'm speaking to My Future Self, you need to continue to trip. It's so amazing and profound. Hey, yes, your ego will struggle, but just observe that, it's okay. Let the fear set in and let it break you down. I need you to keep tripping and to keep inquiring into the deepest parts of reality. Contemplate what is death while sober and then come back here on a psychedelic. I know you will fear coming back here. Just notice that. Everything is rapture. Get past your fear, and everything becomes rapture. The hallucinations and whatnot is the freaking out process to force you to surrender. I just did trauma work that I didn't even know that I had to do. You are freaked out until you cannot care no more. You'll be forced into a crying surrender. Reality rocks you until you surrender. It rocks you rudely, else you wouldn't listen. You would resist. >See image Imagine being scared by your own fucking legs. 2pm I believe that I have now passed the greatest Peak. All of reality and experience is coming waves up-and-coming waves down. >See image ++++ All shall pass. (as the saying goes, this too shall pass) All shall come (and go) Its a wave (a vibration) Like clouds, They come & go The BS The Traumas Your Experiences Your Memories The Music Your "Life" It flows in and out. Take note of the wave symbol being a reflection of your "life" going through time from left to right. >The emergence of all of the phenomenon you experience is as mysterious as how a thought emerges. ++++ I fear eyes, but I must surrender to them. I am to be seen! >Thinking about how I'm going to see eyes in my future trips. I cannot suppress the gay. This body, this vessel, wants to experience that. Surrender to it. I have fantasies of getting fucked. Fighting yourself is a real battle, the ego will not go down without a fight. My trip sitter trying to comfort me was merely a distraction. I just needed to cry, and lean in deeper and deeper. Once you go after death, there's nothing left. Nothing Left to Fear. Trauma will not go without a fight. What is the ego? A stickman that lives inside of you that claws onto you. Life is like a dirty tentacle, that wants to feel up every single crevice. Fill every orifice. After the fear of death is relinquished, every creepy spider leg becomes beautiful, because you realize it comes from a place from non-defensive survival. >Imagine a giant spider leg coming down from storm clouds, much like lightning. There's more Beauty to explore, can't wait for you to come back here. During my Peak, my vision was so blurred that two entire paintings were just pulsating, moving, merging together. Constant pulsating. Violent pulsating. We need to stop confining a canvas shape to a square. Why not have a custom canvas in the way of a swoop? >See image. I can't wait until I have my entire ego completely die and fully surrender. >This will probably require a higher dosage. It takes the entire group to integrate the Insight of the individual. One radical change of an individual will need a whole lot of explaining to the group. I need to Transcend caring what labels people put on me in regards to my Sexuality. >I'm not really sure what to do after the peak, I feel like all the work has basically been done. So I just kind of continue 2 have a cool down. I would be just too bored to just continue sitting and contemplating. >So I kind of just lie there in awe what just happened. >Talked with my mother about the ramifications of my Sexuality. Did it while still on the barrier-removing high such that I can actually have the balls to have this talk. I've talked about this before and she has actually worked with me on this with EMDR therapy work before. I was basically coerced into sexual acts by similar age boys when I was around the age of 10. So there is trauma there, imprinting my sexuality making it complicated. Basically, I was imprinted with a "gay fetish" as a straight man, making it more complicated when exploring my sexuality with the same sex. Making it more difficult to grab hold onto a static sexual identity. I can go deeper into that if you ask. >I realize that I need to be able to not care about what people think about my sexuality, and just do what I please. To stop giving a fuck about the judgement. >Note to self, whenever I'm feeling that nauseous sickness and uncomfort coming on, consciously lie down and surrender. ++++++ 2 Main Insights A mind fuck realization of what the emergence of life and death is. >See image of another meme I made A deeper acceptance of my sexuality, and sexual urges. >See image of a card I pulled a couple of days later.

This thread is created with the intent to help those who explore it to better know themselves. Learning intimately about others is the only thing that has ever taught me about myself, because the eye cannot see itself. Recorded December 6, 2021 — My Intense Journey from Stream Entry to 3rd Path (Theravada Buddhism) — Part 1 Recorded April 10, 2014 — Pleasure is Everything Those are the first and last recordings I still have access to from my YouTube account. I really wish I had my first popular video to share, but it was deleted. It was a 12-14 year old me giving a guide on how to train melee combat stats in the most effective way in RuneScape 2 with a whiny high-pitched voice I was incredibly self-conscious of. Here are two amazing videos made by a couple of the people I’ve imitated the most. They are the highest creations accessible that the two individuals have ever made, in my flawed and humble opinion. Remember though, even my humility is a complete lie a front regardless of how genuine and authentic it might feel to me at the time of writing this. I’ve spent hundreds of hours watching both of these people, their journeys, and their teachings over many years. All you can ever do is imitate. The entire journey from egoic consciousness to Absolute Divinity, Full Enlightenment, and God-Realization occurs in every micro-moment of time. Find more Time. No power or force can ever escape this process. God has trapped itself in an eternal prison. The only worthwhile thing to do is to find a way to enjoy the prison which will not work for anything longer than a micro-moment of time. There is no such thing as a present moment. The most effective thing I can do personally to reduce this arrogance is to repent my sin which is the exact same sin Lucifer committed before we came to earth. I repent to God/Heavenly Father/Heavenly Mother/Tao through the impeccable vehicle of Jesus Christ as I was raised in a Mormon church, grew up in America, and other cultural factors. Regardless of this, I really do urge you to consider why the Bible is the most popular book ever written and Christianity is the world's largest religion with only Islam coming close and even that encapsulates Jesus Christ directly into the religion when studied properly. The Buddha is a real mutha-fuckin’ G in my eyes as someone post-stream entry, but I don’t consider him to be anywhere as pure of an example as Jesus. Jesus transmitted the Dharma by bringing the Highest Teaching to the most downtrodden of society in a public setting to his ultimate demise and supposedly took the FULL WRATH OF GOD IN THREE HOURS. Like I kind of said already, it’s a preference of mine, but hey, what is not a preference at the end of the day? This describes the Natural State rather impeccably which I have verified through direct experience: "Quite surprisingly, upon reentry, life becomes very simple and ordinary. We no longer feel driven to have extraordinary moments, to have transcendent experiences. Sitting at the table in the morning and drinking a cup of tea is perfectly adequate. Drinking a cup of tea is experienced as a full expression of ultimate reality. The cup itself is a full expression of everything we have realized. Walking down the hallway, each step is a complete expression of the deepest realization. Raising a family, dealing with children, going to work, going on vacation — all of it is a true expression of that which is inexpressible." — The End of Your World: Uncensored Straight Talk on the Nature of Enlightenment by Adyashanti One more boat to use until you reach the shore: Memory is just a commonplace deja-vu. With “love,” Brandon Rohe ?

Teaching about Love and teaching about suffering are the same thing when it goes full circle, just different flavors. Until it goes full circle, they seem like oppositional forces. Try considering dukkha as a continuum rather than one side of a duality that somehow prevails over sukha. The Four Noble Truths dismantle the idea that everything is suffering for if there is a path out of suffering, the way suffering is experienced and conceived of prior to that path being Realized cannot be some permanent universal constant. The three characteristics are just pointers that self destruct upon 4th path Realization, at least how they were perceived prior to that Realization. They mean something entirely different. Once one gets to the other shore, the boat is left behind. Nondoership/penetrating the illusion of agency upgrades cravings to Nature/Tao/Universal Control. Fighting a seeking urge before reaching the loss of suffering as a solution is not necessarily effective in many cases. Daniel Ingram suggests that practice should be maintained especially in the rough spots. He also says that himself and a small group of highly awake people had a discussion in which they all without question arrived at the conclusion that practice should be maintained even after full enlightenment on the insight/wisdom axis of development. You could even gather statistics on whoever you think to be fully awake beings, and I guarantee you’ll see more of them continuing to practice compared to those who stop. Stopping seeking in any intentional way is in many cases just another form of seeking. “I’m here already. Enlightenment is already the case.” True in many respects, but also restrictive in many other ways also.

Yes embodiment is important, but embodiment is not an erasure of personality. Being a placid monk is not necessarily embodiment. He spends a good amount of time teaching when he could do so many other things. Maybe he’s not “fully embodied” from certain perspectives, but I think it’s hard to even know where he is in regards to this without being fully awake and meeting him in person. It’s just a guessing game with the info we have IMO. Sila (roughly translated to morality) is said to never have a cap, so in that regard, there is no full enlightenment if you’re considering that part of enlightenment. When he says enlightenment, he’s referring to the insight/wisdom (this is not referring to commonplace human wisdom btw) part of the equation. Certainly there are people more advanced than him in regards to sila.

Frank is an awakened person but I don't consider him fully enlightened in the context of historical masters out there. I believe his brain physiology make him makes him naturally gifted in understanding things but at the same time his composition makes him limited to fully grasp the entire spectrum of what it means to be everything Sort of like that gifted guy that can fly in a helicopter around the city and draw the complete landscape with a photographic memory, Frank is like that spiritually. The end game is embodiment plus action = full enlightenment IMHO

Psychedelics do have a cumulative effect of raising baseline consciousness. It’s just much less pronounced than many other methods in my direct experience and what I’ve heard from others. Leo has certainly hit more or less permanent shifts in how his brain processes psychedelics from so many trips. Why I think THC has been so effective for me is natural gifted genes (mainly from bipolar disorder) + lots of spiritual work to activate the higher capacities of THC (others with strong serotonergic trips report similar things) + USING THC VERY OFTEN ONCE I REACHED ITS HIGHER CAPACITIES. The reason, or a main reason, I think psychedelics struggle to affect baseline consciousness as much as other methods is that people simply do not spend as many hours under the influence of psychedelics while this is happening in the context of serious spiritual work. I could use THC pretty much 24/7 at many points this year at this level of heightened spiritual effectiveness, and this basically put me in a unique position to be flying along at crazy levels of consciousness for essentially months on end. Daniel Ingram once said in an interview that psychedelic trips aren’t growing dendrites due to the limited time they’re affecting someone’s brain consistently compared to meditation. It is pretty difficult to live a normal life on serotonergic psychedelics. If you can unlock THC in this way of heightened effectiveness, it can synergize with normal life allowing you to create a snowball effect on your neurochemistry. The consistent use is key IMO. Maybe other compounds out there can do this too, but I don’t see any better alternatives right now. THC also affects the whole body with cannabinoid receptors all over the place. I think this works incredibly well with chakras and kundalini energy which was actually one of my main focuses this year both before and slightly after hitting stream entry. Regardless, from both my direct experience and reports of many others, nothing impacts baseline consciousness in such a crazy snowball effect like hitting stream entry. I don’t know much about the ganja yoga, but it sounds like I’ve been doing it at least partially. I mostly combined Bhakti yoga with the THC as a practice rather than any Hatha yoga, and it was unbelievably effective for me. The strongest manipulation of spacetime reality came while I was connected with a specific deity while in a bipolar manic episode and “delusional” by many people's evaluations if I were to explain the story. Absolutely reckless levels of faith in one’s beliefs and taking every minute sign in reality as a sign from the Divine resulted in me “teleporting” (although it’s not like I entered a portal knowingly or something, hard to describe — more like some odd warping of spacetime) maybe roughly 250 miles in THIS reality. I didn’t know how to control this or how it occurred. Just sharing it with you as I know you’re really curious about such things. It seems as if you really have to break ALL fear and doubts completely to access such a thing. I had objects teleport as well around this period in my life such as an item being left at a friend’s house maybe 150-200 miles away then ending up in my house as soon as I arrived home. As your “frequency” as they say rises, the chance for such supernatural things to occur in actual reality rather than just some psychedelic mental realm seems to increase. How you reach such a frequency is a mostly individual journey, and be prepared for it to possibly ruin many other more practical and normal things in your life. It certainly appears there are prices to pay, at least from my direct experience. Also, a last note on the THC use, most people run into tolerance very quickly on THC. Whenever I would start to hit tolerance increases, it seems like I got what I call a “Divine upgrade” where THC became more effective than even before the tolerance started to kick in. A lot of that process does not just seem to be a neurochemical progression but also affected heavily by Divine Grace. Frank Yang says that to reach full enlightenment there’s ultimately no way to even do something to get there. It just does itself. Even all of your spiritual strivings fall in this category, but you most likely have not realized nondoership to the degree to fully comprehend how this occurs in your direct experience. It’s neither free will nor determinism. Some type of odd automated process in which the free will itself was just created and operates by the conditions of Existence. It sounds like something you can grasp with the mind, but I assure you that living in that space with it locked in is completely different. As different as intellectually hearing about God Consciousness and it being present 24/7. Hope this cleared things up.

So, roughly a month has passed since the previous update... Guess what, just 20 minutes ago I had this experience once more time. So as you know I was diagnosed with pericarditis after 2 Moderna covid vaccine shot ( I am 22 years old male, was very athletic before). During that time I learned about energy healing, bought a 500 dollars course, and did energy healing on myself ( as well as prescribed medicine + anti-inflammatory diet). Went to a doctor on Monday, we did a heart performance test, where I needed to cycle for a given time to see how my heart adapts to stress. The doctor concluded that I am healed and can continue exercising. I don't feel pain at all, so it seems that my acute pericarditis has been healed. I am still waiting for the MRI on December 11, which will conclude it finally. I am confident I am fully treated. Ok enough about that. So today is the 4 days since I did not jerk off. As I mentioned in the first post the semen is very very important to me. So I watched porn, masturbated without ejaculations, and had an internal orgasm (basically an orgasm without ejaculation). After that about 2 hours later I started meditating. Basically, it took me 5-10 minutes to again experience direct consciousness. My physical ego presence disappeared, the fear returned, my heart started pounding to the point I thought I will definitely die this time. I was infinite consciousness for about a minute. During that time, the time stopped for sure. However, I could return, like willingly holding onto my body. After the experience passed, my apple watch showed 130 beats ( during that time, it was definitely 160-180 beats). Still, the feeling that I am everything persists. The energy in my head, also when I close my eyes it is very difficult to stay in the body. During this month, I read the Sadhguru book: "Enlightenment an inside story". He explicitly mentions in the book. This is the excerpt from the book: " “Sadhguru: If you are not aware of this, I would say for 90% of the people, their moment of Enlightenment and the moment of leaving the body are the same. You will never see them again. Only a few people have the possibility of keeping the body even after Enlightenment, for a certain period of time. Otherwise, there may be only some time, maybe one or two hours, maybe four hours of extra time, that is all. Beyond that, they cannot keep it. “Very few people retain their body because they know the tricks of the body, they know the mechanics of the body to hold on to it. Otherwise, the moment of realization and the moment of leaving the body is same. Generally it is only people who are on the path of Kriya Yoga who can hold on to the body because they understand the mechanics of the body. They know all the tricks of the body so they hold on to the body.” ” Excerpt From Enlightenment an inside story Sadhguru This material may be protected by copyright. I never heard @Leo Gura address it. Why is that? Do you know about this? So what did I decide? Since I am 22 years old, have my financials set, I don't want my physical body to stop functioning due to full enlightenment. I will do the kriya yoga for now fully and stop meditating or even coming close to that. I would definitely welcome any guidance from people who are fully enlightened or who experienced this. I may sound angry, I am not. Actually, I just understood how grateful should I be to come this far... Even writing this it is very difficult to not merge with infinite consciousness again. It seems if I wanted I could.