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To anyone who have done MDMA and knows what bliss feels like its like that but from a real cause. It feels too good to be true. To be honest. I remember myself on MDMA laying back on a wood log and saying to my friend: "Why is it not the natural state of our existence?" Now it is the case. It's worth it. I can write 100 more lines and it wont describe how worth it it is. For your effort you will be rewarded with the most amazing feeling in the world. It feels like I've been going around all my life carrying two 10 kilo pieces of iron in each hand. And now I've suddenly released them. Everything is easy for god. I wont go beating around the bush: God is your true nature. This heavy pieces of iron in each hand, is the ego. Release him. And you enter heaven. The door was always wide open. You just had to have the vision to go through. And I applaud you for that. Each and every one deserves it. Everyone will be awake at the end. Not a single entity left behind. Namaste

Yes, exactly. And suffering keeps the show going. Chasing for experiences to alleviate the discontent one is having, only to later find out that the sought experiences only temporally eased the discontent. Not that the separate self arisings suddenly just pause, and one contemplates what actually is. . Suffering, or discontent, is a major and necessary building block of the illusion and show of this Lila. By the way, Dukha in Buddhism, which is often falsly translated as suffering, means literally "unsatisfactoriness", exactly as you desribe. No experience that is chased brings final relief of this fundamental building block of the separate self, its fundamental unsatisfactoriness. One could even write "separate self arisings"="unsatisfactoriness". Not completely, but concerning the effect to a large part. At least my observation and experience. Only when resting in ones True Being is this discontent/suffering removed, with bliss from ones core that is stronger and replaces the discontent. "Bliss replaces misery", as a Tibetan quote in "Pointing out the Great Way, Brown" says,. When one can sit down, rest in ones True Core, get the bliss flowing, and have no problem sitting there a few hours, then one actually has achieved a major part of the path. And it is not that one has to force onself to do that. I wouldn't write it if I would not know from my own experience that this is possible. Selling Water by the River

Long story short: I had similiar experiences like you describe concering meditation ("Basically it has done exactly what "sitting in silence" sounds like it would do: Just sit there like an idiot waiting for something to happen that never does."). Then I read a lot about many different meditation system and traditions, hundreds of books. At some point, I found what changed everything for me: Pointing out the Great Way, Brown. A "synthetic summary" of the Mahamudra-system, from Daniel P. Brown, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, who read the texts in their original language. He also wrote his dissertation about the deep structure similiarities (and differences) of the main meditation systems of Tibetan Buddhism (Mahamudra), Theravada, and Yoga (Yoga Sutras of Patanjali). Then I did that for over a decade, read the book and its main passages probably somehting like 10 times plus (and many other Mahamudra/Dozgchen books), understood the more sophisticated parts (Stage 3, Yoga of One Taste, or of the simultaneous/nondual mind and Stage 4, Nonmeditation-Yoga, getting rid of the last remnants of the separate self) after getting substantial practice (certain part on the pillow, large part off the pillow in daily life whenever I didn't to fully concentrate for example on attention-capturing analytic tasks. So most of the day it was possible doing that). That got the meditation/mindfulness going during most of the day. All of that together created enough momentum to get something which feels like the Endohuasca-system going, when things got nondual, empty, groundless, appearances nondual and not so solid&"out there" but more lucid/mere appearance, and a lot of bliss. My theory is that when enough momentum is there (and the separate self arisings got seen through/transcended sufficienlty), something like this starts: https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ . At least feels like this. Triggered by meditation. But I would not have needed that decade, maybe a few years if done with good coaching. I agree with you that you need massive momentum. What happens when "Just sit there like an idiot waiting for something to happen that never does." is orders of magnitude lower than having "ego destroyed by something serious, like a release dose of toad". Problem with only tripping instead of also meditating is that: Its not permanent, and significant structures of the separte self remain not transcended (although very subtle ones, you don't see and transcend these during the trip, however much one thinks that one has done so). which can (but doesn't have to) result in a pretty interesting and funny Narcissm-Show of a separate-self/Ego still well and alived, confusing separate self/ego remains with the Totality/God. Shortform something like: "Psychiatrist: I don't know your problem yet, so so its best when you start right from the beginning. Patient: In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth." It can also end in the more humble version of not getting rid of the usual suffering cycles of the separate-self/ego chasing for experiences that promise to mitigate the discontent, but never permanently and fully deliver. If the ego elements/separate self elements kicks in later when sobre, they have not been transcended. That is what good and efficient meditation, done over a long time, can do: Get the separate self arisings out of the way that block ones reckognition of ones True nature. That consists mainly of two parts: the former subject (separate self), that is finally realized as Nothingness/Infinite Empty Consciousness in which everything arises, including the former object "external world", which appeared as solid&out there (so not nondual), which finally becomes nondual and mere appearance/illusion/imagined. Short form: We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all. Kalu Rinpoche When you have that in daily life, the bliss that belongs to the package of the True Self gets delivered on top. Because without bliss, the normal cycle of suffering and chasing experiences to ease that discontent/suffering continues. That is pretty much the core of the separate self, the happy merry-go-round of chasing some experiences that never finally fulfills. And to conclude: Yes, I know IT is all nondual, infinite, imagined illusion, and so on and so on. But to get there, at least I prefer it to describe it in this way, using relative language (which by definition is based on duality). Why? Because its the only way to communicate, and something like that written above would have helped me tremendously 5 or 10 years ago. But everbody is different. If it doesn't help the one reading this, please be so kind to consider it as a buffet where you can take what you want and ignore the rest, and please do the Black Eyed Peas "Where is the love" video instead of the Bear move of the videos in the signature, or "The last duel of buster scruggs". Namaste! And of course (if you are so inclined) use psychedelics, for getting previews, getting a feel what its all about, and to blast some walls that show up on the way. I have written extensively about these topics in my previous posts. If you are so inclined, please check them for more details. All of that is just based on my experience and observations, and reading about past and historic cases. Maybe you find it helpful, or at least as an additional perspective. All the best on your journey. Bon voyage! Selling Water by the River

Because what continues after the moment of death is again relative appearance, a "newly" imagined visual field, arisings in the opening of Absolute Reality that you are. The karmic tendencies of your current mind-stream, which aggregate and constitute your Soul that passes from life to life, have not been enlightened before you committ suicide. You have not stabilized your True Nondual Nature yet. Else, you normally wouldn't commit suicide, because it is your creation, and you would life the bliss/love flowing from your own True Core. All of that (Soul, this world, the Bardo afterwards, any other manifestation) is relative manifestation happening in the Absolute Reality/Nothingness that You really are. So it doesn't really exist, but appears to do so. And how much that can hurt (appearing to do so), one knows probably quite well enough from ones current life to take it serious, even if its essence is only Nothingness/Absolute Reality. But if your tendencies/Karma/Souls have not developed in this life to see through the illusion, that will come back again in the next life. Although my view is higher than the sky, My respect for the cause and effect of actions is as fine as grains of flour. – Padmasambhava And if you kill yourself while your soul still gravitates in the illusion of separation/suffering right now, why should it be different in the existence that reappears after death? The True You will still be there, but the relative mindstream of the reconstituting separate-self will not get any wiser doing stupid things (suicide). So you if you are not going to finish second class because you drop out of school, you are not going to be put into third grade. And how much fun second grade was in that case if you drop out of school you know quite well... And of course dying and approaching the Absolute/Clear Light of Death feels wonderful, like Infinite Love. You can have that experience also while alive with Nirvikalpa. Or drop some Psychedelics/5-MeO. See also all the Near Death Experiences. But when you come out of these states again, the whole enchilada of states manifests again backwards. A similiar process happens in the Dying process after having experiences to so called "Clear Light of Absolute Reality". Nothingness but with a certain afterglow/"knowledge/acess" still available after the experience and while having it, although there is no more duality. As for example the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bardo_Thodol , The Tibetan Book of the Dead After having falling out from the Absolute/Clear Light of Absolute Reality/Nothingness, the not so funny stages of the reincarnation-process start, and since you are not familiar with these states/bardos, "relative you" gets frightened/not so infinite loving again... and then after suicide going back to second grade again, to finish the class, so to say. Don't worry, nobody gets lost. All make to the finish line at some point. Since you can't loose your true nature. And I would recommend not walking out of school (suicide), not making second grade, and repeating that 20 times. But of course, its a free country, and the point of the ride is the ride. If you want to repeat it 20 times, nothing will stop you. But why knowingly "shoot yourself in the foot", resisting your own manifestation/show, think yourself of clever and shoot yourself, and thinking that ends school and you go directly to Infinite Love permanently? And I honestly think Leo should add to "Death is Infinite Love"-statements something like: Only in the first stages of the dying process if you have not stabilized this love on a permanent basis before death/suicide, including experiencing Absolute Reality/True You on a constant basis. What follows afterwards experiencing the Absolute/Clear Light of Death in the dying process can be a lot less than Infinite Love. Like in, for example right here and now, depending on the mindstream. Any fool can read anything to the statement of "Death is Infinite Love", and aim unknowingly directly for repating 2nd class 20 times+, thinking he has graduated PhD in "Infinite Love ever after". Karma/Cause-Effect also holds for Leo & your forum & teaching, and having a track-record of (unnecessary) suicides on this board, is... -fill in the blanks of your liking-. In my opinion less than smart-as-can-be. Anyways, as always, bon voyage to all of you! Respectfully Yours Selling Water by the River

Nice post. Let me add some musings from my perspective. >But there is a catch. You see through all the egos games. If you speak from an Enlightened perspective you will not be understood. Every ego is afraid of absolute truth. Yes. The separation/separate self/Ego HAS to be scared by/avoid the truth, by definition. Else it would end soon.... Not so good for a nice, long, interesting game/show/Lila.... But at the same time, every separate being is deeply drawn back and attracted by its True Nature, which fragrence/bliss it never fully forgot, and only partly manages to avoid, closing down to this bliss and the following various projects to get it back via a variety of experiences . And these two contradicting drives (Pull of Illusion and Pull of Truth) drive the separate self sometimes quite nuts... >The final stage is to do activities just for the pure joy. You start to walk the path of appreciation. Yes. One couldn't do different. And it couldn't work different than that. Nothing left to force oneself to do something one doesn't want. No more internal conflicts, conflicting motivations. Luckily, if you have made it this far, your motivations are normally aligned with the Universe, because you have understood and trained compassion for a long time to stabilize resting in your True Nature/Awakening, see below. >You can also start getting attached to trying to alleviate suffering but that will take years of practice because egos will blame you for their feelings and accuse you of being the source of their suffering. They will demonize you and call you a victim blamer, arrogant, a narcissist, and a gaslighter. You will need to cultivate a deep compassionate patience should you choose to engage in helping others who suffer. Wise words. That is why in all Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhist training systems compassion has a nearly (or fully) equal status to the training of wisdom, transcendence and Awakening. It is considered as an equal companion, laying the foundation, of wisdom/transcendence/Awakening/Enlightenment. Strange, is it, if the same systems consider all the be an Illusion, a magic show? So why do they do that? In relative reality (our life), one can not maintain stabilized Awakening (let alone Enlightenment), when you are constantly annoyed by the Truth-avoidance-mechanisms of ones fellow separate-selves, and react with negative emotions towards that. These negative emotions/reactions do shut down ones nondual experience of the visual field being groundless mere appearances hoving in Infinite Nothingness. And more easily to understand: They shut down ones love, which is the same as the acceptence of the here and now, which is the only thing happening/being imagined right now, and actually the True You in a nondual way. So these emotions are just incompatible with keeping the nondual realization ongoing, an auto-immune-reaction on parts of your own True Being, cutting nonduality in two creating duality. And that doesn't... feel good . At least my experience. And that of many others. By the way, if something happening requires immideate "not-accepting"-action, like running away from an attacking bear, that is of course also done. Staying open and fearless, and not constricting the love/acceptence of this present moment doesn't exclude acting wisely. It is not so wise and smart to serve as food for the attacking bear. There are better things to do with your separate-self-vehicle than that.... Only Empty Mirrors are stupid enough to get their frames teared down by confused attacking bears, see my Signature of the post below, but that is another story as explained in the Job Profile for Empty Mirrors. My theory (experience) is that these "less-than-loving", non-so-compassionate, non accepting/closing down emotions cut off the Endohuasca-system: https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ , solidifying the mere-appearance infinite nondual field of lucid world-arisings hovering in infinite Nothingness, made out of Nothingness as its essence, and making it solid&external or appearing "out there", duality: the "normal" state of the separate self, often less than loving, imprisoned in duality most or all of the time. So it is impossible to live in a stabilized Awakening (let alone Enlightenment) without deep compassion for other not yet realized beings. You can not blame an acorn for not being an oak tree yet. That would be rather stupid. All acorns got and are Buddha-Nature (or can realize their potential by becoming an oak tree). It is for example not the way society raises children, which is a similiar topic. We don't blame children for not being adults yet, but acknowledge their potential of being adults themselves, and raise them up to that potential. Every time I write Selling Water by the River, it is to acknowledge by the way that what is being doing is Illusion. But a nice one! What else is there to do? And since there is only appearance/illusion, there is no difference between reality and appearing illusion in some way. And Karma/cause effect fully works/holds, works like a clockwork, driven by infinite intelligence. Even if its only imagined... that "I" am "selling" something that is freely available to all (the Water of the River). Actually, there is only the Water of the River. That the water of the River is the Buddha Nature of every being, the Nothingness that is the essence of all of Reality. So nothing that could be superior to anything else at the end of the day... Actually, there are no others to safe. And yet, that is what tends to appear to happen normally. And should happen on a relative level, as it is in the nature of things... And that is paradoxical from before the Gateless Gate, but not afterwards... It is only the True You manifesting in endless perspectives.... sometimes appearing (only appearing) confused in some mindstreams, and in some not. The "Core" never gets confused, since it is Nothing(-ness). It contains the confused or unconfused mind-stream arisings. And Maya is the great seductress (hey, "somebody" has to orchestrate the illusion-show. Else it wouldn't be there! ) but there are even more elements build into our reality to guide souls back to their true nature. One of the mightiest and most powerful ones are probably: What is more attractive? An Ego/separate self preaching arrogantly with self-importance and narcissism from upon high, or a being radiating love, compassion and wisdom/bliss? and guess what feels better for the being doing that why does every being yearn for bliss/peace, intuiting that that is what one really is? In a practical experience, compassion/love increases ones realtive happiness in every way. A happy, integrated "relative" life, delivering on the stages of Maslow what the separate self need to thrive and not scream for attention most of the time, resulting in a separate self that is much more easy to transcend than a drama-show-separate-self, that constantly requires attention and maintenance, and suffers lack on the lower levels of Maslows pyramid (financials&job, friends/partner, health, security needs, belonging-needs, self-esteem, self-actualization...) And also speedens up self-realization significantly, or even enabling it, and stabilizes it. That even shows in the fact that countless studies asking humans about their deepest/strongest sources of relative happiness in life is human connection (which is based in large parts on love/compassion, or resonating deeply with "another" soul, seeing and being seen, which then yields natural compassion out of that resonance. At least if its done in a healthy way). Selling Water by the River PS: Ken Wilber: Wake up, Grow Up, Show Up

I agree that large parts of Buddhism/"Hinduism" and any other Spiritual Tradition had major impacts from psychedelics, and genetically/"karma-developed" realizers. Yet, most of them did some kind of meditation, often for very long times. And I don't believe (personal opinion, based on what I have seen) that only tripping will get you really to a deep identity with your True Identity, Absolute Reality itself. Especially its essence, which Hawal for example calls Nothingness (because the essence of the Always Here Reality is totally empty, Nothing(ness) at all. Only this way (totally empty), It/True You can be totally infinite and manifest anything. For sure, ignoring or not using, or advising against psychedelics, or the "hurricane" to blow away 95%+ of the separate self arisings/clouds covering the sun(True Nature, see some of my last posts) is in my opinion not the most efficient and integral method. Why not use these tools as a preview to the fulltime thing of stabilized Awakening, enabling to perceive the visual field as lucid hologram-like mere appearances hovering in infinite timeless Nothingness and disabling/transcending the separate self arisings from a level of separate self bodymind mindstrem to being a mostly empty witness but still some kinds of very very subtle layers of Individuality/separateness still going on, like an empy-nothing-consciousness watching (or even being) some kind of mere appearance-infinity. But still with some very very subtle levels of the separate self arisings still active. and these very fine last layers/filters/clouds of the remaining separate self arisings/individuality/being not the Totality at the deepest Identity Level fully, prevent the full realization, which would make IT stable after coming out of the trip. To become fully Everything/Totality on a stable basis, one has to be totally Nothing(-ness). At least for me, this seems totally logical in theory, and is also demonstrated in practice time and time again of what kills the solidity of the visual field (and makes the visual field mere empty groundless appearance hovering in Nothingness) and its "externalness/not nonduality", making "It" one seamless infinite nondual Totality/whole: Being the Nothingness fully,and stabilizing in that. Short form: "We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all." Kalu Rinpoche So, why did the actively psychedelic using traditions either disappear (Vajrayana in medieval India), or go underground in secrecy? My theory is: When you got a monastery with meditation technique (that is maybe not the most efficient one), bringing less than a few percent of the people to Enlightenment, and supplying that with the goooood psychedelic stuff ... (which was not so gooood in the past, nearly nobody had 5-MeO for example, mainly Mushrooms and LSD/Ergot/... and some DMT. Well, you can imagine the show of the ladies and gentlemen inside which are by definition confusing in the beginning phases of their Psychonaut/tripping-journey parts of their separte self arisings/Ego with the Infinite Field of Totality hovering as mere appearance in groundless eternal Nothingness when they take the psychedelics. that probably has led to an Ego-show of the highest degree of only partly transcended Egos/separate selfs.... Imagine who would not like to join the club/monastery if rumours of tripping occur? the support from the community to such an institution would have been shut down after quite fast after a few scandals of "not-so-enlightened-living" But most importantly (and at least my experience): To stabilize Awakening in daily life, which brings the bliss and freedom from psychological suffering) that everybody (wants independend of outer circumstances), one needs a deep identity shift towards ones True Nature, which is Nothingness as "Subject"/or better Deep-Identity with the nondual Totality and Nothingness (Halaw) as its essence, which means no remaining separate self arising not spotted and "not believed"/"not hypnotized by"/not transcended/not cut-off fast enough. and that takes time, hundreds if not thousands of hours resting in empty Suchness (which can then already be done in daily life, but the beginning phase without some (or a lot) sitting/meditation is probably difficult. and one doesn't get enough time in the psychedelic state to do that, and even more important if you meditate, you get direct feedback on if you transcend your character/separate self arisings/Ego or not: If you don't, then the visual field doesn't get shimmering mere apperance, but stays rock-solid and "out-there/external/dual. If you just drop psychedelic, it is probably impossible to not project certain remaining aspects of the separate self on the Totality, leaving it not totally empty of separate self/subject, but a mix of the Truth and remaining separate-self-illusion-arisings. and Everything Else (the infinite Totality of the visual field/"external" world hovering as mere groundless imagined appearance in the always here Nothingness. again, the very nice summary of Kalu Rinpoche: We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all. All of that means that I believe that one has to and should do both, psychdelics AND meditation, preferably an efficient meditation-system (broken record of mine: I recommend for example Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown, and in general Mahamudra/Dzochen), I have written in my past posts about this topic): get Awakenings and previews of the real state of things via psychedelics, and hopefully don't get the separate self/ego blown up by that to epic proportions by projecting the properties of the epic/awe-inspring Absolute Reality on the separate self individuality arisings (that is Maya giving you a hugely seductive kiss) and get deeply established in ones True Identity (Nothingness), so that one never forgets ones True Nature in daily life never loosing the Deep Identity of being the Totality, the visual field staying nondual and as lucid empty mere appearances. I have written about the Endohuasca-System, which is (I believe, and also my experience) triggered by stabilizing these empty states of transcending the separate self: https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ never loosing the bliss of ones own True Identity One of the largest experiments (both in scope of people doing it, and psychonauts having gone as fare as ever before, and further) is being conducted right here in this community/forum, and in general with the ongoing psychedelic revival. We are sitting in the prime seats to see if those belittling meditation (and emphasizing only psychedelics or also only meditation, one or the other) or those that recommend both methods to be integrated and used together) end up living a beautiful, satisfying and blissful life, stabilizing their True Deep Identity in daily life, and explore more of the depths of the Kosmos. My personal belief is that the Totality gives one a lot of insight into the structure of the manifested/relative side of Absolute Reality by doing mainly (or only) psychedelics, but so far, as I see it, Absolute Reality doesn't give the full bliss and stable Awakening in daily life to those only or mostly or only doing psychedelics. Opposite examples welcome, I have not seen one so far that fully stabilized ones True Nature as Deep Identity (and the ensuing Liberation), neither historical nor contemporary. Even if it exists/existed/or will happen, think about what that says about the success rates of the paths psychedelic only and meditation. I also assume, since Absolute Reality is all there is, infinitely intelligent, all powerful, certain areas of exploration of the Multiverse are blocked for part-time-separate-selves only doing tripping, but falling from grace/loosing Awakening after the trip. As this worlds contains many many traps that stabilized the illusion of Maya/Duality/Separate Self, from what I see this minefield doesn't end when doing psychedelics, but actually starts there at the highest level: Blowing up ones Ego to epic proportions via projecting the separate self arisings/identity onto the properties of the Infinity Absolute Reality is a hugely seductive trap, but blocks the stabilizing of ones True Identiy (fully empty Nothingness -in Halaws definition- Core Identity), and being nondually Everything in daily life. So, ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seatbelts, and watch one of the most interesting shows of the Multiverse developing right here in this forum, and in the psychedelic revival at large... Bon voyage! Selling Water by the River >PS: Can you imagine driving a car then your mind just randomly goes into a Salvia trip? Sometimes I have the feeling that exactly something like that happens with fellow drivers .Luckily, not too often... ( :

Wait there are actual studies that show this? I was just going off my intuition and experience lol. How legitimate are these studies, at all worthwhile? I'm gonna guess it's an "ignorance is bliss" thing.

Don't do mind games. At the end of the day you prefer Pleasure over pain. Bliss over misery. Happiness over depression. If mastering pleasurable state of consciousness its already a mastodonic task, transcending duality of pleasure-pain is a whole other level.

Secret Drugs of Buddhism: Psychedelic Sacraments and the Origins of the Vajrayana, Crowley. I found it fascinating. and: https://psychedelicsangha.org/paisley-gate/2019/5/8/the-supreme-array-scripture-a-psychedelic-stra-for-buddhist-psychonauts-pp3zz "The most famous and oft-cited passage by both ancient and modern commentators on the Supreme Array occurs when Sudhana meets the Bodhisattva Maitreya. Maitreya stands before a jeweled palace. When Sudhana asks about how he should carry out the course of a bodhisattva, Maitreya tells him he should enter the palace. Sudhana then asks for permission to enter; the Bodhisattva snaps his fingers and the doors to the palace open. Once inside, Sudhana sees that the palace’s interior is adorned with precious substances, many hundreds of thousands of leagues wide and as vast as the realm of space. Moreover, inside the palace are hundreds of thousands of other palaces arrayed in the same manner spread out in all directions. Miraculously, each dwelling remains distinct while simultaneously reflecting every other one and all of its objects. Experiencing this awesome vision, Sudhana is overcome with bliss and bows down in all directions. At the moment of prostration, through the power of Maitreya, Sudhana perceives himself simultaneously in each and every palace witnessing a different scene from Maitreya’s bodhisattva course of conduct. In a single instant, Sudhana sees countless eons, realms, beings, bodhisattvas and buddhas, and hears endless teachings. In the centre of all his, Sudhana sees one palace larger than the others. Inside it, he witnesses Maitreya in his final life performing the acts of a buddha, such as going forth to homeless life, sitting under the enlightenment tree, attaining omniscience and preaching the Dharma. While Sudhana is watching the endless and simultaneous practices of Maitreya in all the palaces, suddenly the Bodhisattva enters the dwelling, snaps his fingers once more and says, Arise, Son of Good Family! This is the nature of conditioned factors. Son of Good Family, characterized by their non-fixity, all conditioned factors are controlled through the knowledge of bodhisattvas. In this way, lacking the perfection of an essence, they are like illusions, dreams and reflections." and " In an important sense, Buddhism has always been “psychedelic.” Recall the meaning of psychedelic as “manifesting the mind.” The very first verse of the Dhammapada, one of the most ancient Buddhist texts, reads: The mind is the basis for everything. Everything is created by my mind, and is ruled by my mind. When I speak or act with impure thoughts, suffering follows me As the wheel of the cart follows the hoof of the ox. " Water by the River

You are right, it's definetely wouldn't be practical to be in this state 24/7. But I do want to develop a skill to get me into that state wherever I want. It's true, that if you get in this state 24/7, one would become a vegetable, just collapsed by the intensity. But you know, I think there are levels to this. There are levels of blissfulness where you can remain functional, and you don't get so incapacitated. This is possible. I usually get them and stay at them for some more time as the effects of the kriya I do gradually come down. This is the lower level of the intense bliss I´m talking about but still espectacular. See, there are states of consciousness where there is pleasure but there is NO emotion, humans think good emotions are the highest states but there are things further beyond preferable from that, and still you can remain functional. You know an animal a few seconds before catching its prey? Its life energies are absolutely intense, an at the same time its absolutely still. This is a possibility to the human being too. But it requires a certain mastery of your life energies.

All is mind. There is only mind. That energetic vibration is a universal mind state. Again, the bliss is impermanent it will come and go. Do not get too attached or you will become what they call a spiritual junkie. True balance comes from calmness and tranquility. Bliss is passionate. Well guess what? Anger is passionate. Passion rises and falls like a strong wave on the once tranquil ocean. If you were in a blissful state 24/7 it would tire your human body out.

The mind talking and Bliss is not possible ?

True Understanding Is Bliss.

Totally agree ?? Dude, its just not bliss. It's the Love and intense dissolution of time that happens in Non-Dual state of consciousness. It's not just a mind state. It's an energetic vibration that its very close to TRUTH, if its not Truth already. .. Shambhavi mahamudra

Bliss is comfort. Bliss removes all fear. You are only comfortable when fear is gone. You can experience absence of fear in a tranquil state as well. Why? Because bliss is impermanent. It comes and it goes. It's why many masters say don't get too attached to the bliss.

You cannot drop attachment in duality. To drop attachment is to not exist in duality. Duality is attachment. You are literally attached to a perspective. If you became completely detached you would die. The absolute does not know survival because it does not have a self. Knowledge only exists in duality. And absolute self knowledge only exists if you fully awaken. What you obtain is indifference. You want something but you don't care if you get it. This requires emotional mastery. Enlightenment does not hand you constant bliss for all eternity. What it hands you is increased self-awareness and constant wholeness. You feel complete and whole and enjoy solitude immensely. But there is a catch. You see through all the egos games. If you speak from an Enlightened perspective you will not be understood. Every ego is afraid of absolute truth. You will also become less motivated temporarily because everything will feel like a waste of time. This is normal because you were too used to doing things to reach goals. The final stage is to do activities just for the pure joy. You start to walk the path of appreciation. You can also start getting attached to trying to alleviate suffering but that will take years of practice because egos will blame you for their feelings and accuse you of being the source of their suffering. They will demonize you and call you a victim blamer, arrogant, a narcissist, and a gaslighter. You will need to cultivate a deep compassionate patience should you choose to engage in helping others who suffer. In short you discover that every ego is a perpetual victim with a superiority complex. The victimhood= the belief in bad, which comes from not feeling in control. The superiority= Comes from a desire for external validation and praise and a desire to be and do good. When an ego feels in control they feel good and powerful.

Right, uh? Why people don't talk about this? But its more than comfort man, its fucking bliss.

The 'zen' peaceful states of mind that I would reach in meditation in the past were really nice and good. But, honestly, it's fucking child candy compared to the states I´m reaching almost every fucking day, even it is for just some seconds, It just puts the demon in me, and I can not forget how fucking good feels the 'Love', if I can call it like that, its like pure Ecstasy of the Now, of the absolute destruction of any kind of feeling of 'time', I can't explain how that feels, its like a diamond of bliss and light running through your fingers, and its so slippery, you get it , then you lose it. I dont want anything else in life but this... I need this, every second. Anything that is not this ecstatic blissful awareness of Love (no-time), I can enjoy it, but in the back of my mind I know it's crap, compared to this. It's all just a seeking to the highest state of Love and Truth. Fuck understanding, you guys can have it all. I know you guys would sell any kind of understand in exchange for this 'thing'. And yet...is right fucking here. The irony...

Bliss beyond intoxication.

Warning: Loooong rambling ahead! The deception is what I call (at least for me) Separate-Self-arisings (I-thoughts, I-feeling), that arise with a very high frequency in Oneself (True Self/Reality). That leads to the world appearances manifesting as "external" and "solid/not hologram-like mere appearances". Et voila, the magic show! When one spots them fast enough (separate self arisings) and is familiar with them, and doesn't get captured by them (in my opinion the goal of meditation), the visual field at some point becomes nondual, mere appearance, lucid/hologram-like, hovering in Infinite Nothingness. Then, there is no more deception, since it doesn't "grip". Nothing the "separate self can throw at you" is believed anymore. It just runs/appears in True You/Reality, but is no longer to believed to be more real than mere arising in True You/Reality. Perceptions perceiving themselves in You/Reality, and some practical mind-stream-stuff of the human you have (not are, but have) running in True You/Reality. As long as any of it is still believed, and not transcended as objects/movements/arisings in the True You, one doesn't cross over to the other shore. 3% of still "gripping" and not transcended separate self arisings (very very subtle ones at the end, just mere "Individuality") prevents the full Realization of ones True Identity. They all have to "go". It is like the mindstream runs in oneself, and doesn't capture ones attention. Nothing of it. The mindfulness stays, it is all a magic show. There is no more "external" world, just a magic show of hologram like lucid appearances, hovering in Infinite Nothingness. Suffering (psychological suffering, or resistance to what is here and now) has stopped at that point. Then, it all becomes a magic show. It is totally clear what the essence of the magic show/movie is. Nothingness. without suffering. Sure, the Magic Show is a deception/Illusion. But what else is there to do for the True You? The Real You can not gain or loose ever. But it can manifest the show. And just a disclaimer/warning, because I write very freely from the absolute side of the street, tending to ignore the relative side of the street while writing this way: When you start to think while the separate self is still intact, that you can not gain or loose ever: Well, Maya will give one a nice smack demonstrating that one (as the separate self) can very well suffer, grow and develop, loose and gain. Karma is well and alive when the separate self is not fully transcended). That leads automatically to appreciation of the beauty of the show. Appreciation of the beauty of manifestation. With a certain preference of being interested in all these mechanisms. But being interested not in a grasping way, like suffering when one doesn't get to understand it, but more like: Hey let's go for a walk, and if it rains we don't, and do something else. No big deal anyway.... If there is no appreciation of the Illusion/Show, but disgust/horror/discontentment/anything other than marveling at/with the state of things, I would assume there is still a separate self active/not transcended, that then resists/suffers. I personally find the investigation/exploration of the Multiverse, trying to understand the manifestation mechanism, Alien-anything quite interesting. But it no way leads to me grasping to the beauty and bliss of these experiences of understanding or exploring. If something like that would show up in my mindstream, a reaction would arise like: All nice and well, interesting for sure, but starting egoic/separate self-suffering or grasping for it, no way I am doing that, would be rather not so smart. and lead to suffering/resisting, and shutting down the Endohuasca-System (below).... and that would be it (grasping stopped). Selling Water by the River Some Quotes from Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown "once you have eradicated all the pain from the mind": "Tashi Namgyel calls the two stages prior to experiencing enlightenment recognizing awakened wisdom/[awakened awareness] and setting up awakened wisdom/[awakened awareness] . One-taste yoga establishes the foundation for awakened wisdom/[awakened awareness] to emerge. In non-meditation yoga the practitioner: ...proceeds from the perspective of having seen the benefit of the aforementioned [special] samadhi. Generate a fervent desire for this [awakened wisdom/[awakened awareness] ] to increase and continue once you have eradicated all the pain from the mind." Tashi Namgyal, in Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown "The commentary merely alludes to these changes withthe brief passage from Gampopa, "once you have eradicated all the pain from the mind" (TN, p. 5oo).These and other changes, however, are described in much greater detail in the oral tradition, especially by Rechung.'" Rechung says that the practitioner "unties the chakra knots that prevent the full experience of mental and divine bliss, respectively." [the Endohuasca-System of the Body, at least in my theory, see https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ ] Attachment (zhar ba) is transmuted into great enjoyment (dga 'chen).The practitioner finds great bliss (bde chen) simply from experiencing ordinary phenomena as they arise in their own way. The natural spontaneity of the mind is freed. Bliss replaces misery." Tashi Namgyal, in Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown That is how at least developed for me. And the end of the game: "According to Tilopa, such uninterrupted, effortless mindfulness finds no refuge (gtad so) in any particular events of the mind because of their inherent emptiness/clarity, so that awareness-itself turns back on itself and naturally crosses over [to Enlightenment]" "In short, crossing over [to Enlightenment] happens at the time when every single sensory experience—appearance and thought—are viewed as clarity/emptiness and movement/emptiness with absolute certainty." [not 1% of the separate self still untranscended/not cut off/still believed] "Tashi Namgyel's root text explains how nonmeditation yoga ripens in three stages: At the lowest level, it becomes possible to maintain undistracted mindfulness of the simultaneous mind [simultaneous mind = nondual] at any time, so that it is unnecessary to limit the practice to formal meditation sessions. Seeming appearances arise "like a mirage." [mere luminous appearances hovering in Nothingness]. At the middle level,awareness-mindfulness continues day and night. The subtlest flow of shapes that arise is the mind's self-illumination. At the highest level, awakened wisdom/[awakened awareness] stays even throughout all these subtle forms [not 1% of the separate self still untranscended/not cut off/still believed, including any feelings/thoughts of Individuality/being separate from the Totality/Reality]. Continuous awakened wisdom/[awakened awareness] in the face of everything experienced is great nonmeditation. (TN, p. 697) I highly recommend the book, it is truly awesome. It is a synthesizing text of the Mahamudra-Tradition, quoting many books of the tradition and integrating them.

Lol… I can really get into this and do a lot of research because I just really don’t know what available options are out there. So I did look some things up before coming back to the Journal… I went into questioning if I’d really want to tow a trailer or not… since I hadn’t really thought about getting a truck yet I started to look up truck bed options. So there are actual bed truck campers and they look really nice… there was one which I thought looked really nice, but it might be too much for me. That’s another thing that is sticking out to me… is really being able to use what is being purchased… I’d want to make sure it’s not a purchase that will be a one and done type of purchase… and also making sure to purchase quality. But I’ll go ahead and share the link in case people are interested… there were two that drew my eye… the Cirrus 820 truck camper or the Kimbo. I realize if I start traveling in this way.. I will travel around the US, through Mexico, into Central America and at least the northwest of South America. I’m open to continue traveling the entire continent of South America, but I also feel I’ll have to feel it out after ceremonies. I know I want to continue having these messages being my direction and focus, but it’s not what people may think it’s going to come into play.. it just never seems to be that way for me… again… I can say I’m going to work on the excavation first but… I know I’m going to be working at all the visions at once and then some really… I’ll be learning and meeting people to build relationships decades away at any moment… lol… it just doesn’t happen linear at least in my experience. So again.. I have a feeling that it might take five years to get to the expedition… shoot there’s been so much that I’ve changed in the last five years… and where I am now… I can see there is every opportunity to set this up and more… lol… but the fact is… it really doesn’t matter what I think the timing will be… it may be sooner or it may be later… This is a big vision and I am attracting people and people are attracting me… and that in my mind should take some time to align… So I like to plan but it’s very loosely planned… I definitely allow for surprises and unexpected events… it happens to me all the time and I welcome them. Again… going back to the chess game.. I may be able to say the me who is experiencing can look at say five moves ahead… while my higher self… already knew when I was going to put myself into checkmate… and already knew what plays were needed to be played to set myself up… not in a bad way but in a good way… lol… but anyway I also looked into possibly to pitch a tent in the back of the truck bed too. I know I don’t need much but I am kind of curious how it would be like to live a life towards luxury… lol… there are things that I might do from time to time that I would consider luxury items.. like for me buying this IPad and my IPhones were definitely luxury items. There was an adventure I did in the Sacred Valley which was an over-night trip where we rock-climbed up into these mostly clear pods mounted on the side of the mountain where we had a wonderful meal… slept and woke up to the sunrise in the aerial view.. it was really breath-taking and it was so cool to see how they constructed it… that’s what I’d love to do is work on projects were people will show me how to build.. lol… but the next morning we had breakfast and then we zip-lined down to the ground again. It was Skylodge. And actually when I travelled to Italy I thought that was a luxurious step for me too… but anyway… I love to imagine but when I really start to think about it… It’s really just a safe way to say possible desires… I keep distance from it. I don’t want to keep distance from it… but I also know I’m speaking to myself and others maybe listening or reading… whatever… and again I want to make them feel comfortable too. If I say I’m looking for things i want to manifest into my experience… might not be taken as well as let’s imagine the possibilities. When I say let’s imagine… I can see it’s allowing me space or distance to doubt. And if I say that I’m looking for things to manifest in my experience… then I step closer to being honest with my desires… yeah.. makes sense. And again I’m ok if the things I manifest aren’t exactly these things, but my feelings and emotions towards these things are being observed and recorded and I know I’m going to continue experiencing these emotions in whatever form they choose to show itself. Right I’ve looked into doing this before with a sense of lack… and I just feel like I don’t want to have that anymore. Even though I don’t want it doesn’t mean I cannot observe the tendency still fluttering in my mind… and I guess the first thing is to notice it’s there and know that I’m creating a different mindset… When I travel… I want reliable vehicles and I’d like to be comfortable when I’m sleeping and hanging out. I know I can live and deal with less then those requirements, but I don’t have to continue to do that forever. I already know I like to challenge myself… so I know I want to start planning the expedition so I’ll see how to prepare for it. I guess since I really don’t know the options available.. and I also don’t know exactly when… there’s new technology being designed and created.. so maybe trying to plan too soon might not be the best approach. There are already things I know I want to start practicing on now that doesn’t involve material things… increasing my spiritual practices. I keep thinking about the large tent… lol.. and really I’d love to learn how to design and make my own… or collaborate with someone who knows and is familiar with tent design. It might not be what happens… but darn it… that’s how I think… I’d love to learn how to do it… or even learn how to modify so the modifications continue to be quality and safe modifications. That’s why I would like to travel to who knows where… because I love to learn so much and I know I can find people who can teach me… of course we’ll be teaching each other in our own ways… but again… when I’m learning it all connects to different areas. So what am I feeling right now. I feel when I do my roadtrip… That I would like to have the truck… I’d like to have a truck bed camper… and I’d like to get a pocket motorcycle to ride… lol… yes I looked up a beginner’s bike… lol.. now a part of me is like… it’s not going to be that hard to pickup riding a motorcycle… but another part of me… is why don’t I just make it easy for myself for now… especially if I’m traveling in places I’m not familiar with… the easier I can help myself then the better. Once I get the hang of it I can upgrade to a large one. So I found two that I liked as a starter… and again.. I feel I would put a lot of use into them… and I know I’d be able to finde people who would want to use it when I upgrade… lol… or if I upgrade.. I just might like these… lol.. but one is yeah considered a pocket motorcycle I think they called it… it’s the Honda Navi… it only goes up to 50 mph and I don’t know if that’s enough for me… lol.. but I think it should be until I get used to it.. but what does it say: NAVI-GATE YOUR WORLD: Just about everyone who scores a ride on a Honda Navi can’t stop smiling. And it’s easy to see why. We’ve designed the Navi to be easy to ride, with a no-shift automatic CVT transmission. That helps make it easy to learn on too, even if you’ve never ridden a motorcycle before. Then there’s the small overall size and light weight, which makes it way less intimidating. Plus, it offers some pretty awesome fuel efficiency. And finally, because it’s so small it’s easy to park. And speaking of saving money, the Navi is the most affordable Honda streetbike in our entire line! Isn’t it time you started Navi-gating your world?    And the other I thought was a cool options it was actually a scooter but with a motor that would make me have to get a motorcycle license and register it… so similar to the first option but this has two wheels in the front which I think give me more confidence especially on gravel.. where is it… it’s the Piaggio MP3 530 HPE Exclusive… and I think it cruises at around 60-65 mph and could got to upper 70’s… that actually would be more like it… at least I’d feel comfortable driving it on highways. It’s a little larger body too for comfort and there’s a big windshield guard… it’s pretty cool… yeah I didn’t look at every other option, but I did like this… and what does it say: The new MP3 530 HPE Exclusive lives up to its name. The most advanced three-wheeler ever produced by Piaggio, it features a 530-cc Euro 5 High Performance Engine, cruise control, reverse gear, rear camera function and Blind Spot Information System. The definitive mobility solution for urban travel and further afield, it delivers an ideal mix of comfort and performance, making it a breeze to get around town and beyond in safety. An article by Cycle World says many good reviews, but here’s one: The MP3 Resets the Standards: From the start, the MP3 inspired great confidence, even for totally inexperienced riders. Simply put, it radically reset scooter safety standards, opening up the svelte urban commuter class even to chronic soft-seat motorists who would never think of riding anything that needed to be leaned around corners. So as I’m looking at the bikes… I have to think how I’m going to take my little buddy with me… lol… So yes I looked into pet carriers… and I think that scooter would have the more comfortable option for him. But I also like having possibly a sling for him too… I don’t know…. I feel like I’ve been wanting to design and sew a carrier for him too… I was trying to see if I can find a carrier that mounts easily onto a bike but then converts into a backpack when we’ve reached the destination… and since I have a smaller animal… why don’t we make it airline compliant too… lol.. I’m thinking the sling just because I think if i can get him closer to me with the noise going one it would help him get used to it. But I think I would switch up the sling too… I love the whole wrap around close to my chest… where did I see that the one I was looking at seemed like a man bought it or even designed it for his dog who was very anxious… it’s similar to what we see carrying a baby around… but with a cat? With my cat… lol… I’d like to add a few extras… first of all some type of scratch barrier between my skin and the wrap… lol… his claws automatically go out when I pick him up to place him into whatever carrier I have.. and I also like the bags I’ve had that has the extra security of a small leash connected to him… anyway there’s a few slings that I saw… and I’d like to combine them… lol… I think they were Amazon.com .. here’s a Yudodo option and then here’s the wrap option.. here’s the Pet K’tan version. Oh I almost forgot… there is a way to mount the bike to the hitch of the truck… now I’m not sure it can work with the style of the truck bed camper I’m leaning towards, but I watched a video of the guy who started this company… and I liked his attitude and I know he’d be able to make it work with the options he has… I’d probably just need to reach out and make sure the style I think will work will actually work… but let’s see I remember his name was Joe… here’s the one that might work for that scooter… ohh… I don’t know if he’d have one for the scooter actually, but I’d definitely pay extra to get one that would work… lol… I’d even love to go to his shop and watch or learn… lol.. I can say that to about everyone… lol… ok where is he… welp it’s Joehauler.com and he does Custom Haulers, perfect! Lol… I was just thinking if I could use this as something to tangle in front of my dad… lol.. I think he would enjoy having one… but I’d have to give him the chance to clear out the garage first… lol.. because I think he’d want to store it in the garage especially during the winter… he’d need to have space for it… lol… while I get ready for the driving test he can learn too.. lol… I could see him loving the… plus he couldn’t be such a speedster on the road at times… lol… well we’ll see. So I do think about technology as well… I know when I was thinking of the expedition I was going into satélite options and even maritime options.. many options for communication and possible access to internet while we’re traveling… I thought of maybe trying some of these out now, but I don’t really think it’s time.. lol.. I think I really need to get out there and talk to people and see what they know. Shoot I don’t stop and hesitate to ask people what they’re interested in… if it’s something I’m not familiar with I usually try to ask questions to get a better idea… and if I think it connects to this or that… I’ll ask… so I usually find interesting conversation to say the least… lol… but yeah I was gettin into the tendency I was getting to when I first was thinking about the expedition and i was getting overwhelmed… trying to figure it all out at one time and before I really knew anything… I was guessing with everything and trying to find all the options to check out.. it’s best to run into people who are more experienced. I had thought about emailing professional expeditioners… lol.. I just thought it might be too soon and most of the time I would be saying I’m not sure but maybe this or that… lol… maybe if they were friends I could get a way with that but even then… it doesn’t normally work…lol. But yeah I’m feeling so much better… I was going through a lot earlier and yesterday trying to think of everything that I was thinking about before.. but there was probably a very good reason why I threw all of that into recycling… all the things I was writing in isolation when I first arrived in my personal journaling… I didn’t keep it… I wanted to purge and I wanted to start fresh as I could and for some reason… I didn’t want to keep that journal… and man I was obsessed with it for at least a month… like how I once got… not eating and sleeping… lol… but I guess I’m learning to relax a little more too… I get so excited that I just want to go, go, go… lol… but I see the value of just taking my time and allowing time to help give me clarity before jumping the gun. I’m sure there’s a balance that I’m trying to find… I know I don’t want to wait forever and then I get too comfortable to not make any changes. There’s a balance I’m learning. So yeah I don’t think I have to worry about testing out those types of communications quite yet… but there’s some goodies that I’d like to start gaining experience with. This is funny because i say that the people who I meeting currently, they see who I am.. like say the people I know in Colorado.. specially when I speaking of my approaches to spirituality… they think I’m a saint.. lol.. not really but my behavior and thought is different to what they’re used to, but I find I have to convince them that I haven’t always been this way.. lol.. again if I’m talking about ceremony with them and they’re interested… I deal with all types but some who are say addicted to drinking or recreationally doing drugs… or any issues they think I wouldn’t understand where they are and I have to tell them all the things I’ve been saying here… I did shit… I was living unconsciously too, but I decided to make changes. But say I’m speaking to people I’ve known all my life.. they see me as who I was before… and again I feel like I have to convince them that I’ve changed… lol… so it just reminded me when I say I usually want to go, go, go… people who are reading this will know that I’ve been in isolation for so long that they might feel… what do you mean you go, go, go… you haven’t been doing anything for a long time now… lol… I can only say I’m changing… and it seems its only a few months it takes me to realize the changes instead of taking years… and i feel that’s a good thing… lol.. But I consider myself a creative and artist… and when I was in school I had access to many materials, tools, and programs and I really caught on quickly, but when I stopped going… I was limited in my involvement with the abundance of tools to continue learning in those areas… I’d like to get a chance to dive into them again… I loved computer aided drafting and also art… I haven’t been in that world for decades now.. so a lot has changed, but I still think if I can put myself into the position to have access… I’d find my way again, but I think I would like to start off with a decent computer setup and get some programs to dive deeper into creativity in art.. such as computer design and even musical programs and video editing… things of this kind. i want to work on my drawing faster… i feel this is going to be helpful for me in receiving clues… lol… i know this doesn’t involve computers… but I wrote some of the messages i was getting in the time before sleep and when I was seeing visions… I got the idea that it would be helpful to develop this skill.. not only because of the people I was seeing, but possibly during the expedition too. I was wondering how I would know where to go… when I go the message about the excavation… I was given an area I knew… so I didn’t have to draw it out.. I know where to go… but if I’m exploring terrain I don’t know… I was wondering how would I be guided… I thought possibly I could be getting visions of the terrain, and since I don’t know where it is… if I can draw it out clearly then they would give guidance. I thought I’d probably need a drone to be able to fly a good distance away from the camp… or even go on scouting trips with the drone to see if it can see these locations and then while scouting can get a better idea how to move the camp closer to the location. I don’t know it’s a thought… and so I know that I can at least start practicing this skill and I’d always wanted a drone… I love photography and videos and I think it would be cool to learn how to use a drone… I wouldn’t just use it for the expedition.. but as I travel. I even said if I hired myself what would i do… well I wanted people I work with to record themselves… well I’d like to do the same thing. Similar to what I’m doing now… but using video footage and who knows what else… but I’d like to find a pretty heavy duty drone to be tough enough for the changing weather conditions I can assume will be in the mountains. I’d like some video editing programs… again maybe meet someone who can teach me… so maybe not get the program fist.. talk to someone and have them recommend… i don’t know… but something like that. I want to work on music… I’ve really been interested in exploring more on learning different types of instruments. I know I’ve been trying to build confidence in my singing… I sing Icaros in ceremony and I knew I needed to gain more confidence, but… lol… I feel when I’m in ceremony it just comes out of me anyway… lol… it’s obvious to me that I’m still searching for styles to resonate with… I’m sure I’ve already mentioned it before but I can go from an opera singer, to a beat boxer tribal chanter… lol… but I think I can continue to build confidence. I think that’s why I’m drawn to musical instruments too… I know some of the people I work with are already musically inclined… in fact I’d suggest to them to bring their instruments of choice when they join me in Aya ceremonies… I’d love to see if they’re drawn to using them… I’ve already seen people try to sing in their own attempts… it’s really exciting and interesting to me. Again I’ve worked with a shaman who had so many unusual instruments and it was awesome to have that in ceremony… but I’ve also been with shamans who think that instruments shouldn’t be involved with ceremony only voice… but I know I’m drawn to the Sa’sa… using the body as an instrument… so I have nothing against instruments and voice together… and I know a few people who know how to make their own instruments of choice… and yet again… I’d love to learn and maybe that’s how I’ll get some of my instruments… my making them… how sweet that would be. I’m not sure how people view hearing singing Icaros in ceremonies… I know I wasn’t expecting it as part of the process of ceremony, but I didn’t have any background in it. But that does remind me of the sedition in the yoga manual that I wanted to touch base in… ways to show Bhakti… and they gave some good examples… hmmm… yeah maybe I’ll go into that for a little bit… there’s something going on with my internet.. I know I can hear the wind being aggressive outside… so I’m going to copy and paste everything real quick so hopefully I don’t loose my progress so far. Ok… and it looks like I wasn’t logged into my dad’s WiFi.. so now it should be stronger. Ok… the manual… So I’ll start by referencing the book again, “A Systematic Course in the Ancient Tantric Techniques of Yoga and Kriya” by Swami Satyananda Saraswati. Let’s begin: “Bhakti and Music: Thoughts are the language of the mind. But music is the language of the heart. Wherever there is Bhakti there must also be music. They are inseparable. There is no more exhilarating way of expressing Bhakti than through music. Music implies rhythm and harmony. And in this sense everything in the universe can be considered to be music… You should try, or at least aspire, to conduct your life as though it is a perfect piece of music… For a bhakta life should be a continuous symphony whether he is high or low, whether he is working or sleeping, whether he is happy or angry. All the ups and downs of life are mere ripples on the river or ocean of bliss… And in fact vast numbers of bhakta have expressed this inner bliss with their internal singing and music…. But for the bhakta, music does not only mean music or singing - it means the whole flow of life. Life is one continuous song. There is an inner music of the heart which is functioning ceaselessly, no matter what the outside events… This inner music should guide your life. It should decide your actions. But it can only come when you are receptive, when your mind and heart become sufficiently tuned… This inner music is the music of knowledge, the music of bliss. People of modern times have been seduced into always being in the audience… This is a great pity, for the most enjoyable part of life is participation. It is the same with music - people tend to listen rather than take part. And in this way the exhilarating experience of involvement is lost… generates an upsurge of group feeling. It is wonderful for removing stress and inducing relaxation. It helps to purify the mind and gives an outlet to emotions. It helps to unfold Bhakti. One’s feelings (bhava) are heightened. This leads to heightened bhava on a more permanent basis. Devotional music is powerful (509).” ”Expressions of Bhakti: What does a bhakta do? Many people think that Bhakti has to be expressed by wild singing or emotional prayers or utterances. And indeed this can be the case; many great bhakta have sung the most beautiful poems in order to express their joy, devotion and realization. Others have been famous for their joyful dancing. The Sufi dervishes are good examples. Every movement, every action is an expression of bliss and devotion. But this is not necessarily so. Many great bhakta were less dramatic. They continued to live their lives in a state of calmness. Each action and each thought however is permeated with awareness of the divine… He looks into the mirror of the world and sees the image of himself. Actions become perfect… Bhakti need not necessarily be associated with wild, abandoned singing. It can be felt in many people without obvious outward expression. It depends on the dharma or personality of the bhakta… Actually, every saint, yogi, tantric or sage is a bhakta… They must be bhakta, for the knowledge, the realization that they have in higher states of awareness must automatically lead to Bhakti… In the Srimad Bhagavatam it says: ‘… the devotee loses all sense of etiquette. He moves around the world without attachment. He always chants the name and his heart melts through love. he is like someone possessed, sometimes laughing wildly, sometimes weeping; and then he sings aloud and dances…’(2:2). This description of the expressions and actions of bhakta is as good as any. But a bhakta need not conform to this pattern. He will express himself according to the dictates of his personality, dharma and the given situation (504-505).” “The methods of unfolding Bhakti: There are many methods which the aspirant will find out for himself through his own experiences. In the Srimad Bhagavatam nine modes of unfolding Bhakti are given as follows: 1. Shravanam (hearing stories about the divine incarnations such as Rama, Krishna, Christ, Buddha and so forth). 2. Kirtanam (chanting the names of divinity). 3. Smaranam (continual remembrance of divinity in any form). 4. Padasevanam (service of the guru or service done in the name of the divine). 5. Archanam (ritualistic worship and offerings). 6. Vandanam (mental worship of everyone and everything as being the form of divinity). 7. Dasyam (the feeling of being the servant of the divine). 8. Sakhyam (the attitude of friendship… He treats the supreme as a close friend who is always in his company). 9. Atma nivedanam (total surrender… This leads to perfect union where the lover, loving and the loved become one)… A few important aspects of unfolding Bhakti are not clearly indicated in the list. Meeting great yogis and saints is an important way of intensifying Bhakti… Also important is constant reflection on one’s nature and study of the scriptures. This is called swadhyaya (505).” This again.. just help confirm to me… that I’ve been discovering how I awakened my bhakti and why I want to develop into a bhakta. Alright… I think this is a good time to take a break.

@Breakingthewall get what you guys are saying but the point is that the sun (awareness) shines regardless of the state. There can be 1 cloud let's call that Bliss, sun still there , there can 100, depression, but the sun is still there. So the sun, awareness, YOU is always the case , the clouds come and go

Yeah, couldn't agree more. It's going to sound cliche but I feel like there is something more pure about gaining insights and wisdom and consciousness sober. Totally on your own. I've heard a teacher once say that these substances have their own consciousness and we don't fully understand them or why they show us these things. Sounds a bit paranoid but I've had experiences with plants that felt downright malicious as well as God like and beautiful. I still plan to use them. I think they can be beautiful and revel things that I'm not seeing as well as re spark love for this work. But see it as more like watching a cool movie or something. Not seriously using it or depending on it for consciousness work. These days i just say to myself life is the psychedelic and there is no reason God would make it impossible to become conscious of things sober and through hard work. My meditations these days are pure Bliss. Heaven. I'm 7 years in and have clocked in 5-6K hours. Leo is a genius though and I doubt he is wrong. He has obviously thought and contemplated extensively on this material, i try to not rule anything out. But dismissing meditation like he does is kinda lame and close minded.

7 hours ago, FlyingMan said: As long as you want to learn FROM him, he's your best friend. But criticize him, or point out his self-deception, and you're the asshole. I think it's pretty damn obvious though. I have a similiar feeling as Moksha. There are a lot of teachings in the spiritual marketplace that declare halfway up the mountain as the peak (a lot of Buddhism also, I would estimate a much larger share than 90%), and he had to distance himself against these teachings. Like with the no-person/no-self stuff (and even Nonduality is often misunderstood, and can be achieved way before final realization) that doesn't go all the way. Its tricky trick business, and putting the finer points in language is a daunting taks, since the state/stage descriptions are often used differently. So lets see if he can translate his realizations and awakenings into a stable basis. I hope he gets stable access to the bliss&love of his True Core. He would more than deserve it. And lets hope the movies they will once make about the first really serious psychonauts and the first encounters with non-human alien intelligences (fascinating book on that with some working hypothesis on these topics, like DMT-IV: Reality Switch Technologies: Psychedelics as Tools for the Discovery and Exploration of New Worlds, Gallimore) will include a happy ending, at least when it comes to Leo. Water by the River

Psychedelics are awesome when done together with meditation. I believe that efficient meditation systems (like for example Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown), explained in an efficient way, plus Psychedelics (but with coaching from somebody who has walked the path to the end and knows the traps) is the future. Where there is potential, there are (as ususal) also risks and traps. Let's look at Wilbers perspective on the risks and downsides: Main Points from Wilber: The downside comes with people that only use psychedelics or drugs and I found that over the years they just become mean. That somehow it just kind of closes them down it's like you keep doing it and you keep doing it you keep doing it doesn't quite cause the transformation. It can cause a peak experience but generally not a transformative experience and some people like David data will say that you know for altered changes of state to contribute to transformation permanent transformation it has to be basically in endogenous and not exogenous it has to be has your own. See my Endohuasca-Theory and Links to it above. The people that do use both and use it as a sacrament I think an enormous bit out of it. My personal opinion: When you think that the meditation path to make it permanent is not doable for you (for whatever excuse, like genetics) , or seems to unpleasant, maybe you use an inefficient meditation system. Try the one a mentioned above (Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown). I get no roalties or kick-back-paymanents by the way, just love the method/system Agreed, most meditation system on the market have an abysmal "success" rate of Enlightened Ones. But there are some really good ones also. And non of these efficient systems have used Psychedelics + good coaching on top. That is where I believe is the future. Exploring the Multiverse is all nice and important and a wonderful pioneering effort. But as soon as you draw your love/happiness out of the sublime beautiful experiences/understandings, you are playing the same samsaric game of every unenlightened sentient being chasing good emotions to avoid suffering, the usual merry-go-round-cycle. But on a very high level, with quite a show . When psychedelics boost the narcissm/grandiosity of the separate self, well: Best regards from Maya, she just loves you too much to let you go... If you can be "gaslit" on any realization from psychedelics and need to put your foot down: Well, probably the realization of your True Identity (Reality itself) is a bit shaky, or a bit preliminary. The Real Thing can't be shaken. Because You are It, like in "never can not be It". And if you dragged home an alien from I don't know where, and feel like you have become the special-alien-of the day, maybe check if you have received a very seductive love-letter from Maya herself, and consider ordering the Men in Black for the Alien, together with their Flashthing/Neuralyzer that can make you forget: https://meninblack.fandom.com/wiki/Neuralyzer And maybe that Neuralyzer makes you full empty, makes you get rid of the last filters of the separate self, which are just a very very empty, already nondual/mere appearance "feeling" of individuality, a vastly intelligent, potentially "alien" nondual nothing, understanding a lot of the mechanisms of God and the Universe, but still a nothing with the last filter attached to it: Individuality-Arisings (in Wilbers wording, the Transparent Witness, see Religion of the Future), "seeing/looking at" a vast mere appearance Multiverse hovering in Nothingness. So not fully empty yet. And that is the "last few percentage clouds" blocking stable realization, or the sudden Full Enlightenment. Because if the last filters/elements of the separate self go, you can sustain the realization/bliss sobre in daily life.... . Because, if you understood/got rid of all separate self filters IN the psychedelic state, why shouldn't you be able to keep that Realization in daily life? The world gets a shimmering lucid hologram like imagined appearance-illusion-show when you have engaged your Endohuasca-System, which is done with getting rid off these last separate-self elements, see my previous post. At least my experience, and that of countless others in the history of mankind. Why should exactly the Psychedelic-Aficionado not be able to do that? No Endohuasca-system? Well, the receptors in the body seem to be working just fine... Or maybe a different Buddha-Nature? Sorry, just kidding... And if there is no Neuralyzer around, maybe try an efficient meditation system, get to the last stages of Nonmeditation-Yoga (spontaneous automized meditation without a doer still active) And after having used the Neuralyzer or an efficient meditation system, after having looked deeply into the Empty Abyss of your own True Nature/Nothingness, when you are really everything because you are really totally Nothingness (with no 5% clouds remaining), maybe then go hunt for the alien again. But this time, not for getting the love and sweetness of Understanding-experiences or whatever to break the cycle of suffering, but to express the bliss and love of your True Nature that you have then 24/7 going on from your own core. And if one feels gaslit about what I have just written, see the point above: "If you can be "gaslit" on any realization from psychedelics and need to put your foot down: Well, probably the realization of your True Identity (Reality itself) is a bit shaky, or a bit preliminary. The Real Thing can't be shaken. Because You are It, like in never can not be It." And if in doubt: Call these gentlemen, let them take care of the Aliens, look at the Neuralyzer/Flashthing, and get fully empty. But still, the Psychedelic pioneers, facing the unknowns of the Multiverse, exploring Alien intelligences, some even catching an Alien beast or two and dragging them home, going alone boldly to where no one has gone before, facing dangers that nobody else faced before... If there is some material for the movies of the future looking back to our time, where if not there is the true hero's journey to be found... I just hope that they get back from the trips, integrate their experience, get their mindstream awakened all the time, and live happily realized ever after, radiating the love of their own True Being, and maybe even getting the roalties from the upcoming movies of the Psychedelic Heros Journey based on their biography! Bon voyage! In the meantime, It’s for sure one of the most interesting shows on this planet to be seen. At least, it for sure has my attention! Respectfully Yours & mind the possibility of the Bear Manoeuvre in the signature-link below Selling Water by the River