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@Giulio Bevilacqua this sounds like an anxiety disorder. Talk to a psychiatrist and maybe get on some meds for anxiety. When the anxiety goes away the kundalini energy you awakened will come under control and be blissful not a nightmare. When you start feeling better you can get off the meds. The meds don't have to be a life long thing but for the time being it can definitely help alleviate anxiety that is out of control so you can have a productive life.

*I feel like I should put a trigger warning here. My intent is not to offend anyone. If you have been the victim of a sexual offense in the past, please consider carefully whether you want to read this.* I am not new to self-help, and am actually quite well-read (or I thought I was anyway). The truth is for many years I steered far away from anything that smelled of religion or spirituality, because as a young man I was a zealous overeager Jesus Freak. I was involved in a charasmatic church that held beliefs similar to those of the now infamous Westboro Baptist Church. In fact, in those days, if I had known about Westboro Baptist Church, I probably would have joined it. I was a very damaged young man. When I first joined the church, I was full of joy and happiness and I really felt like I was in touch with God. The forgiveness story of Jesus is powerful stuff for someone who feels they aren't good enough, and I never was, until I found Jesus. But slowly, the joyful message of a loving God became twisted as i listened to my youth pastor rave about the evils of premarital sex and lust, and how God despises that in a young man above all. And I bought it all. I felt God's eyes turning from me in shame every time I masturbated. I was truly psychotic with shame and guilt and confusion. And an opportunity arose in which I was watching three children of a friend of mine, and the children were "playing doctor" naked in the house, and it occurred to me that this was just play and it was okay to join them and I did, and then i was instantly crushed with shame. I never did anything like it again and I never will and if I could go back in time and change it, I would, but I can't, and the past doesn't exist anyway--except it does--what is the past? It's just story, right? Anyway, I confessed my crime, and I spent more years in prison than I should have because I continued to punish myself and sabotaged my chances for release. When I finally go out, I went to school and sabotaged myself, and got an amazing job and sabotaged myself, I went back to school and finished my degree. I started a business. I got married. I had a kid. I've sabotaged myself every time I got close to succeeding because I didn't think I deserved to succeed. I am 45 years old and own a small Internet business which is failing miserably for many reasons. But something is happening to me and I am breaking the cycle. It started when I discovered cannabis a few years ago, and was able to get some relief from my anxiety and agoraphobia, I began to go through a process of self-examination then. Then my father passed away and this January, my mother, and I went into a VERY dark place. I have been in a pitched battle for my soul since December. I don't know how else to put it. I was restless and anxious and searching and searching for answers, and I came here, and i felt like Leo was speaking directly to me. I had some health issues that were directly related to my stress, but I overcame them and now I am awake. It's my life. How can I be the part of the reality that is what i call me, or share my gifts with anyone if I am afraid people will hate and persecute me? But really it doesn't matter if they hate me, because I'm no one, I get that now, but my story is important. People should hear it, as a cautionary tale if nothing else. I don't need to tell it non-anonymously though, I think. It is not who I am anymore. It was 26 years ago. I need to find a job, but I am afraid people will do a background check and find out about my past. I have an accounting degree and a lot of business experience. I have been self-employed for the last 9 years and counting and know a little about online marketing and website building and wordpress and ecommerce and Kickstarter (I have had several successful Kickstarter campaigns). Without bragging, I may not know the cutting edge of business apps and technology, but I'm creative, insightful and I've been very successful at various times, but never able to continue the momentum because I was afraid if I got too big, people would find out about me somehow. Once I had money, people would try to blackmail me, I need a job or my wife is going to leave me. I'm going to exercise a little of a word I haven't thought about in a long time: faith. I'm posting this because I want to have faith that there is someone out there who is on the middle path, who could maybe use someone to team up with. Maybe you want to team up with my business or I could team up on your endeavor, or something, but I'd like to find someone else who is awake and actively pursuing enlightenment. Is it wrong of me to want to team up with another actualized person? I really need some help. I am experiencing brand new things. Like, this is seriously changing the way I live my life. I am almost sure it's just a trick or that I'm being duped, that it can be so easy to just live your life the way you want to and experience these thoughts and emotions as just another something that happens, like a headache, but you just feel it and let it go. There's nothing you can do about a headache other than taking a couple of pills and letting it pass. It doesn't do any good to get upset with the headache. It's the same way with these stupid emotions. It doesn't do anyone any good to get upset and ruffled by them. They are part of our experience. It doesn't do to blame our pasts for who we are. Our past is part of our story, but our story hasn't been written yet. This idea that I'm damaged because i suffered through all of this crap in my past is true, and it's true that there are an awful lot of people who would rather spit on me than accept me as a brother, but none of that matters. I can live my life in the moment and life is beautiful and I feel like I can actually FEEL my consciousness expanding, like my mind is swelling with new possibilities of new ways to experience life without letting my emotions control me. My wife and daughter think I have lost my mind but in a beautiful way. I have the best conversations with my daughter now. It was so hard for me to connect with her before, because I never really wanted a child. My wife really wanted a child, and I wanted my wife to be happy, but I was always filled with anxiety, not that I would ever do anything to hurt my child, but that someone would recognize me and think something awful of me. But that doesn't matter either now. In a way, the experience of having a child has forced me to confront these anxieties. I can't escape her. And i don't want to. She is amazing. She's super smart and she reads to me or I read to her every night and she's undoubtedly one of the best things in my life. I found myself editing and revising a lot of this after I wrote it as my ideas about what I am going through are kind of evolving. I can't really explain what is happening to me, but i don't want it to stop. I want to get better, and I don't want to just get better for a little while and fail again. I believe I can do that now, and I am very grateful for these videos. I also wouldn't mind a hand up if someone was interested in taking on an apprentice or partner or employee... I just want to be around people who are awake.

But I would like to become awakened in my own time, not being forced into it, I don't believe that works. I don't really see anything good in this whole Great Reset agenda.

I have directly validated every facet of awakening that Leo has had. These are not beliefs. I actually had several before him and before he began teaching them here. Namely the awakening in which you are in an expanded state of consciousness and you become conscious thst everything is your own mind. And I still have the PM where I told Leo about it. A few weeks later he had the same awakening and began teaching it more extensively. These are not beliefs. Don't take them as beliefs either of course. They can be validated. Yes we use language as pointers to talk about God..but it doesn't mean the finger is the moon. Thought should never be demonized. Egoic thought can be deception and illusion but it is still through Mind that we realize Mind. Nahm was not teaching God realization..I don't know why. Maybe he wasn't awakened. I don't wanna speculate and it's irrelevant..but he was not teaching that. He was teaching no self and that was it. The road is over there is no one to wake up. God is a thought. This is wrong.. awakening goes beyond no self although thst Is a massive awakening. His teachings didn't go far enough and were actually a perversion of the Truth in a way.. and towards the end he just became a madman actually.

I am familiar with both of these individuals before this situation developed and have some interesting perspective to share about this. For one thing and the most important in my mind is that the online social media world as well as the gaming world there is a definite need for a path to well being. Millions even tens of millions of people and content creators are spreading misery through a cycle of abuse all over the internet....well, not just the internet. I could expand it to hundreds of millions and yes billions of people empowering the cycle of abuse in real life all over the world. Mental health care in the US is very expensive and has a stigma attached to it, I'm not sure how much different that is in other countries because I don't have personal experience with the health care systems there regarding mental health. Although, I suspect the stigma associated with seeking therapy of any sort isn't limited to North America so people are reluctant to seek it out and this isn't leading to an improvement in people's mental health or well being. I don't want to give too many opinions about the clash of content creators in the circumstance but it doesn't seem like DrK was intentionally malicious towards anyone even if there were some breaches of ethics or conflicts around profit motives, he genuinely wanted to help even if he made mistakes. It's not up to me to decide whether he did something to violate his oath but I don't accept as truth the opinions of others who have nothing to lose either. On the other hand I don't get a similar impression from the other party in this situation. Contrary with them professing a purpose of increasing empathy for others their actions speak to a different source of motivation at least on how it effects those that consume their content. I cannot discern someone's intent I can only witness their behavior and how if influences others but that is what we are left with from their actions, not their intentions. There is also something very saddening about the tragic loss of a content creator. Even though he had a traumatic experience with the mental health profession he still reached out wanting to heal the self suffering he was experiencing but unfortunately it wasn't sufficient enough to ease the pain and save him from himself. I don't think it helps anyone in trying to use him as a weapon or a shield, just let it be. There is also something kind of curious in a statement I saw him make in one video I watched even though I can't remember which one it was and I can't recite it verbatim only give a synapses of his message. Reckful said he felt like there was nothing left to do here, like he was in some video game, that he needed to move on to the next level and the only way to do it might be to die. I absolutely knew exactly where he was since I have been living it for decades. Now don't get the wrong idea, I'm not suicidal at all, in fact it's the complete opposite. When I realized I was 'done' here I was young living life on the edge and didn't expect to survive my 20s, I thought I was in overtime so to speak. I was awakened and transcended identity, so think about how many speak about life here, too. There's a similar theme, no? I think many of us know exactly where he was in consciousness because we have had glimpses of it or are there. He was using psychedelics not just hero dose quests but also in daily microdose scenarios. So he was transcending identity and experiencing no self awareness but wasn't getting the feedback from the people around him to put all the pieces together and have a healthy context for what he was perceiving. He was left to his own monkey mind's machinations and history of self suffering to sort out his path and what happened, did. This doesn't mean the psychobabble people go in circles with on this forum would have been any better but there is wisdom that would have been useful to him. I'm not going to turn this into a criticism of people on this forum or anywhere in the spiritual and mystical community but you people are lost and distracted from the mental navel gazing that goes on with all the complicated conceptualizations that people fixate on. I just wonder what might have been if he got some input from people who have experience in the abstract conscious states and had the well meaning approach to bring about healing and well being. I guess we will never know but this whole drama whoring content farming circus performance just reminds me that this isn't going to get any better any sooner unless there is a dramatic shift in people so they seek well being for themselves.

I don't feel that he is fully awakened, but I do think that he is 'very' awake. In some of his videos, like the solipsism blog video, he drops himself for a while to show his eyes, and if you look at them, you can see the energies and wisdom that he has collected - it's hard to describe, but it's like a tiger or wolf look that awakened people can get, but the eyes are shiner, more detached. One of my fave teachers; I read from her works - she, well, she has deep eyes like that, too, that transfer how awake she is - and she still has some ego stuff that I can see when I watch her interviews and read her works, but you can tell she has seen some stuff and has gotten very far in her journey - and that's what I see in him.

I would consider it mature and silly if a deeply awakened person owned 3 homes and 5 cars. I would not do that myself. But in the end if some awakened dude wants 5 sports cars, it's not gonna change the fact that he's awake. Maybe he like to collect cars because he thinks they are beautiful works of art, or whatever. Obviously it could also just be remnant vanity. You can define yours terms however you want, but when I speak of awakening I'm speaking of a very specific sort of shift in consciousness. I am not speaking of some general path of spiritual evolution or growth. Awakening happens within seconds or minutes as your consciousness expands into a new state. It does not take years. So I would distinguish an awakening vs a path of gradual spiritual development and growth. You can have one without the other, or both. I don't agree that there is such a thing as collective awakening at all. There is only YOUR awakening. You can speak figuratively of mankind's awakening, but this is not at all the same as individual awakening that I talk about. This is a very dangerous assumption. I would not believe in something so naive. Dealing effectively with collectives is a deep skill set which requires specific experience and training. You can experience a visceral sense of collective as self, but this will not automatically give you great social skills or the systems thinking necessary to deal well with collective issues. Collectives also always mean politics, and navigating politics is a deep skill too. Awakening will not make you a great politician automatically.

What does it mean to be fully awake? what does it look like? I am open that Leo is fully awake. and I don't think what he is saying disagrees with tradition either. Like when he says everything is imaginary, or it's God's imagination, that's really no different than saying everything is creation or God's creation. But comparing Leo to other teachers is a thought activity -part of the imagination/creation- and not wakefulness. It's likely to me that many individuals throughout history were awake and their creation unfolded differently due to their wakefulness. I still don't think it's useful to say forget the teachers because the teachers were created by you so that you could awaken and live a good dream. I still think Jesus Christ was an awakened Son of God, but Leo is saying, what good is it to know that, since its a thought and its imaginary. - waking up is recognizing, I created Jesus within my mind, which is not a bad thing lol.

@kray I highly doubt Leo would say he is fully awakened, within the form Leo. You could make some argument about the truest self-being the Tat, Brahma, God, etc., hence being fully awake (I am sooooo tired of this point being made). IMO there comes a point in the journey when you become comfortable with where you are in the grand show. First we don't know there is a show, then we want to know, we belive we can know everything (fully awaken), then we come to a point where we realize we are IT but currently holding down an aspect of IT and not the fully engaged in the magnitude of IT consciously. We become ok with this as we awaken to the nature of what is. You have to praise, glorify, and seek the concept of fully awakened until you awaken to a degree of knowledge that satiates that impulse. Journey strong..

@happyhappy Realizing all that stuff too quickly isn’t necessary I good thing it hit me hard, I’m kind of young for this work I’m only 21, I was very suicidal and depressed and basically In my head it was Either kill myself or awaken, Like I said it happened within a year and in that year I had to let go of basically everything and everyone, when I had my first awakening it hit me so hard I thought I lost my mind and I started having outrageous ego backlashes and I started hearing voices and insane thoughts, I told the people around me what I have awakened to and told them about my ego backlashes they actually sent me to a mental hospital for 2 days so I quickly learned to keep it to myself and try to stay more grounded around people, It was the most dangerous time of my life and I am from Iraq I have been in dangerous situations but this is on a whole different level and it’s because of how fast I went through it so yea I wouldn’t want others to realize it as quickly as I did

Not really what my post implied but whatever. Do I really have to state the obvious? The point is that many people here overestimate respectable teacher's SD stage just because they're awakened. Edit: idk if my first post about was misunderstood because of my English (I'm not from an English speaking country), but since I've clarified it here a second time already it should now be obvious.

There's no meaningful way to be (ego) or play the game that aligns with the Truth seen in awakening? like what about healing? or is that all is already healed when awakened?

@Preety_India Thanks @Inliytened1 Although there is some truth to that, i would argue that even more dangerous is having no idea of what "an awakened being" is. As long as the idea is aligned with the highest spiritual principles like Love and compassion for instance, it's useful in the discernment of whom to trust/follow or even listen to, this idea like any other is the ladder you have to throw out in the end after climbing, but at that stage it will be obvious. Until then its a useful tool because without any guidelines/ideas the spiritual seeker will believe or even give all their money to random guys on youtube or cult leaders. A "human skill and nothing more" is a dangerous concept, you are dealing with real human beings that trust your moderator authority status, some of which have serious psychological conditions or are even borderline suicidal, you have to be able to relate on a personal level with them, out of love and compassion it is a skill required for the job.

I didn't say they were fully awake. I said "had an awakening". 1 awakening doesn't mean much and doesn't change much about your behavior. Obviously it's not wise. A person with mental illness (like Connor Murphy) can have an awakening and then decide to shoot up a school. They are connected but the ego-mind is a stubborn beast that will remain for years and years, doing it's devilish things. That's not even a matter of awakening. Connor Murphy is just very shallow and immature. He's very young. He's an attention whore. That's baked into his ego-mind and it will take him decades of work to outgrow that. I have immature aspects of my mind as well. It will take me years to grow out of that too. You can't really compare a 20 year old awakened person to a 30 year old to a 60 year old one. Maturity is a huge factor there and it matters. Young people do and say dumb things. The younger they are the dumber they are. Deep wisdom comes with age and massive experience.

@Crane Bahnsteik be careful. That does not mean he was not enlightened. Its a matter of bring able to relate on the personal level. Its sinply a human skill and nothing more. Be careful to not create the idea of what an awakened being is in your mind. It's a trap.

Good decision. Being so disconnected and unable to respond on the same contextual level of the question is the opposite of being conscious or awakened. Being conscious means that you are conscious of the present context and know how to navigate it while perhaps alluding to something greater, being responsible for everything you say, how you say it, and how it will affect or be perceived by whoever asked. In the same way that if you want to help someone climb a mountain you don't always show them your great pictures that you so proudly took of the sky and the horizon seen from the top, you instead give them the gear necessary to climb and survive the weather, a map, and perhaps some words of encouragement.

Careful to get lost in a story that has enlightened masters..one who is the most awakened. Step outside of that. Go meta.

@Knowledge Hoarder It's a love - hate relationship towards it. I just cannot imagine anything worse and that's why I am attracted to it. It's super interesting and fascinating for me. Just the mere thought of living through it gives me shakes. Also it seems like a part of me would wanna experience it. I know it sounds twisted. Yes I know what you mean lol. Fortunately I don't have nightmares about it. But few weeks ago I saw the worst nightmare of all time. I was somewhere without control of my body. And a bunch of people near me where being dismembered. And then it was my time. I wasn't scared. But I just was like 'why tf does this nasty bs exists?' lol it was surreal. I guess God has a fine taste. Also being fully awakened is not good for survival either i think.

@RevoCulture keep in mind that people tend to over-estimate their attainments, so of course actions don't match speech. True, authentic enlightment can lead to radical changes, expecially if your life is messed-up, but in some cases, the life after awakening might just be the same as it was before. Most harmless habits remain. "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." you can find little comunities here and there in the world like Ananda in italy. The truth is that there isnt yet a big enough number of awakened people to create a magnetic pull able to manifest a world community of highly evolved individuals, designed to create more. we'll see that 2-300 years in the future Why not, i ask you. Knowing this is an illusion shouldn't inhibit you from experiencing the dream as you want, with joy and pleasure. The materilistic paradigm is not true and everything is mind-made. So what? Do what you like. This notion, if nothing else, should free you up. As i have said communities gets created when thre is enough people thinking the same way and sharing the same values. unfortunatly, as of now, not many people truly value Truth to build a society around it But don't fall into the trap of thinking that you are truly enlightened only if you seclude your self from mainstream society. Planty of these (rare) people live a regular life. Communities will appear when there is a sufficient number. This process will continue to unfold no matter if people are honest or not, so don't warry. human deception will always be at play.

Solipsism in the metaphysical sense is the view that only one's own mind or self is all that exists. Solipsism in the epistemological sense is the view that the only thing that can be known is your own mind and perceptions exist. According to this article https://ctmucommunity.org/wiki/Distributed_solipsism, Distributed Solipsism is the idea that the self is distributed amongst all individuals. Therefore, Distributed Solipsism assumes that there are other bubbles, but those other bubbles and experiences are the same self experiencing through different forms of parts of itself. Those who reject metaphysical solipsism prefer to subscribe to Distributed Solipsism. In fact, a lot of spiritual teachings are in alignment with Distributed Solipsism. I know Alan Watts, Rupert Spira, Eckhart Tolle, etc. All those gurus teach that everything is One, and we are all parts of the Universe experiencing itself through all different forms. The Universe is essentially the stage from which it experiences life through all the different characters and actors on the world's stage. However, the point of any inquiry is not to find what is comfortable or witty. The point of contemplation is to find out what is actually true. What is actually and absolutely True? When you think about it, the only thing you have ever experienced in your life has been your own mind, which includes all of your perceptions, sensations, thoughts, visual field, auditory fields, sensory fields. This field of experience that is happening right now is all that can be known to exist. All other hypotheses about other bubbles or fields of experiences are occurring right here in The Field of Experience. Notice that I do not say that this field is "yours." The Field of Experience right now is what actually exists. Any ideas of self or other are always secondary. The Field of Experience is primary. Everything else is secondary and occurs within what is actually primary. Distributed Solipsism assumes that there are other experiences or minds which can exist outside of The Field of Experience. Metaphysical & Epistemological Solipsism are stating what is the case. All that has ever been experience or exists is This Field. What does it mean to say something exists which cannot be perceived? Existence = Perception There has only ever been One Field of Experience. If there were multiple Fields or Bubbles, where are the boundaries of those Bubbles and other Fields created in? If dream characters had their own bubbles and fields, where would those fields and bubbles be occurring in? This Field/Bubble Right NOW!!! Notice that the Field is entirely Headless. The head becomes the whole world. The Field is space for everything to exist. This Headless Field is like the world of Skyrim or dreaming. It is the screen/space for all characters and worlds to be created. There is no external world to Skyrim or dreaming. All worlds, characters, etc. are occurring on the Screen/Field from which all of reality is projected. My other post on Plant Consciousness and Solipsism pointed to this very problem that I had been tackling with: How do I distinguish between subjects and objects? Where are the other Fields and minds? If a human has a subject or consciousness, then what makes a human body have a subject and a rock/plant body not? Where is the line drawn for consciousness subjects and non-conscious objects? Everything in the Field of Experience appears as space, objects, colors, sounds, smells, etc. It is all ever-changing objects that are occurring in the Field. When I look at a rock and a human being, what is the difference between the two? How do I say that a human being is a subject but a plant, table, or rock is not? The objects may move like a puppet from the Field's point of view, but all inference of there being an experience behind a human object is the same as inferring there is a rock subject behind the rock object. This is like the whole Invisible Gardner argument that atheists use to theists. If there is a Gardener that is completely invisible and can never be known or verified, how is that any different from there not being any Gardener at all? Likewise, the assumption is made that there is a mind, experience, bubble/fields, or other subjects inside the human and animal bodies that we see but how is inferring that there are other subjects or other Fields/Bubbles any different from there not being any other subjects at all? The only thing that can be verified is that This Field Exists. All other spaghetti monsters, china teapots, and Invisible Gardeners are all additional jumps, stories ("explanations"), and add-ons to this Field. This Field cannot be explained by anything. All explanations are secondary to the Field. The Field is Reality/Existence Itself and all concepts/stories/explanations will always be secondary and not primary. Even the belief in Solipsism is just another concept. Absolute Solipsism is what remains after you burn everything that is false into the fire. Now, stop imagining Solipsism and go out there and do the work to deconstruct all your beliefs and falsehoods until Truth remains. Jed McKenna and Leo are alike in that both of them see the nonsense in spiritual circles. Jed and Leo realize that hardly any spiritually "enlightened" guru is actually awakened. If you do not plan to take psychedelics, I highly recommend the practice of spiritual autolysis that can be found in Jed's books. I also recommend Douglas Harding's Headless Way! Hope that helped to answer all questions about Solipsism.

Do you enjoy doing meditation, yoga, contemplation, reading spiritual books etc.? if you enjoy it keep doing it. It's like even if you were enlightened all of a sudden or awakened, you still need to fill your life and time with something. actually we don't know that for sure or do we?

In addition. I asked Leo how an awakened person would act or behave, and Leo pretty much said, there is no way, they would behave however way they wanted to or in other words, how God imagined them to be. This makes it difficult if not impossible to know/see who is awake. What if someone were awake, but behaved as a devil. Many would say he is not awake, he is hurting 'others' because of ignorance, but theoretically, he/she can be awake. The closest devil I can imagine to maybe being awoken is Charles Manson. If I were to say I was awake, I would get resistance from everyone. - of course because it is not 'I' that awoke, but God awoke to himself. It's as if when one awakes, the center is you, and that is why Leo says to forget all teachers, not only does that break the Truth and keep us asleep in duality, but it plunges us into stories, concepts, and labels. The message I got from the blog video, is that all teachers, paradigms, models, spiritual practices, and even personal contemplation is all imaginary because the Truth is God, which is beyond all of that - and that is all. The moment, we contemplate about it or create models around it, is the moment, we lost it, and demonstrates we are not awake. I can speak on being in a solipsistic state of my own and I describe it as a state because I don't usually think in a solipsistic way because it became impractical. I would have to detach myself from obligations and survival to maintain that Truth.

You missed the mark if you still think other people exist to be awakened. There is no 2nd to wake up. Non dual = not 2. Reincarnation, past lives, future lives. These are all just concepts given to you by teachers. Illusions, lies. All of these forum posts, there are no people behind them. That's just an idea you made up in your mind. The forum itself doesn't exist, because there is no server to host it on. Even me typing this to you, I don't exist. There is no one that typed this. This post just exists. If you have a dream and in it Leo wakes up, and then 100 other people also reach the highest awakening, how many people have woken up? 0. People in dreams aren't real. Stop thinking that you live in a physical body, that you're looking out at a physical world that actually exists. Think of it more like you're watching a movie, or you've had a VR headset on since the moment you're born and everything you see is an illusion. If there is a hand on the screen that looks lifelike and moves perfectly in tune with how you want to move it, how would you know if the hand was real or in VR? How can you even tell if the reality you're looking at isn't 2D instead of 3D? You live in Plato's Cave for 1. Sure you can go visit Leo, you can even touch him and it will all seem perfectly real, but that doesn't make it real. It's still just a dream. "If you die in the game, you die in real life" - Your actions still have consequences so don't do anything stupid with this knowledge. NPCs will still attack you, and the VR suit you're wearing has very realistic pain inflicting sensors.

You claim that other "awakened" people are imagination as well?

https://actualized.org/insights/explaining-take-down-new-awakening I mean, the Buddha himself was awakened through meditation. What should I do with this info? I'm only 19 and just getting into meditation, only to hear that it's imaginary. Also, our Gurus aren't awake? What? But a lot of these people are superhardcore. Perhaps they too are withholding all they know. Also, how do I go back on spiritual progress? Is that possible? Like I can reverse spiritual progress? If possible, tell me how just in case.