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@Leo Gura Gracias, amigo! @Nahm Thanks, man! I've started trying myself as a coach 1.5 years ago and I really liked this medium and already making a decent income from that. For the most part, my specifics right now is to help the green young guys and girls add a little more structure to their lives and begin to become aware of the processes at the meta level. My plan is to move to the Netherlands, get a master's degree in psychology and get a legal opportunity to use psychedelics in working with clients. Most of all I want to work with leaders - my vision is to help leaders become yellow and turquoise, so that they can provide very high-quality transformations in the world. I'm not so much interested in working with traumas and dysfunctions than working with actualization and transcendence (transpersonal psychology) with the help of my work and psychedelics. Qualitative development and transformation of identity. I really like the image of the sanatorium, in which strong leaders come in order to "refresh" or learn something or work on further development in a spiral. However, I am not a team player at all and I don’t really like the image of owning a big business and workers. The approach of the lone master is closer to me. The biggest obstacle that currently stands in front of me is that I need to start attract an income for myself, with which I can save money for education and moving to the Netherlands, in addition to ensuring monthly expenses. To do this, I need to establish a flow of customers and create additional products that can be sold in parallel with consultations (online courses, webinars, etc.). Now I think a lot about coming up with some elegant way to marketing my services on the Internet. One of my main strengths is humor and playfulness. The other four are spirituality, perspective wisdom, optimism and future-mindedness, love of learning. Besides spirituality and abstract thinking I am very good at using my sense of humor (in my opinion it's the sub-skill from the abstract thinking) while working with clients and, in general, in life. Also, to be honest, it'll be a lie for me to say that I'm waking up highly motivated right now, because I'm trying to find my own, original, inspiring and innovative niche. As you can see, there is a tendency among forum participants to become a psychotherapist using psychedelics, a shaman, a psychonaut, etc. I'm really thinking about the integration of the Humor + Self-dev, not as a comic. but as a humorous self-dev master. George Carlin x Leo Gura = ?

@Cocolove thank you! That’s great hear you have some background knowledge on Wilber’s work. He is a truely inspiring visionary. I might aim at reading all of those and start with the integral transformation ?

@StarStruck Was the seminar online? Which programm? Transformation Mastery?

Never underestimate mushrooms... Set – To become conscious of God Setting – My backyard/Room on a sunny day Intro How can I even truly articulate what I experienced yesterday? There have been these mild intellectual skirmishes on the forum lately talking about the role psychedelics play in enlightenment or lack thereof. For the most part, I’ve stayed off the fence because I truly DON’T know what role these substances play with awakening. You’ve got the Ralston camp going on about how Enlightenment, Truth isn’t an experience and therefore taking a psychedelic which changes experience cannot deliver the truth to you and then on the other end you’ve got the Leo camp ignoring these claims and seriously pursuing psychedelic work. Yet after this trip, I just don’t know how one could ever argue they don’t play a role unless they lack the direct experience of God realization on a psychedelic. I have no doubt meditation, contemplation, and yoga can facilitate these insights to a massive degree, but it will take a massive amount of time to deliver what these mushrooms showed. Let me explain. It’s odd because normally mushrooms get really twisty, kind of funny and confusing with the way they deliver insights. Yet this trip, my mind was sharp, clear and open in contrast with the usual twisty nature. There were no real visual effects other than a mild increase in sharpness to objects and colors. To be quite honest I hardly felt like I was tripping at all up until the peak. Fear Opening the Mind So over the course of 4 hours there was this subtle anxiety and fear that was accumulating in my mind. I started feeling all of these insecurities and fears bubbling up. I felt overwhelmed by my college debt, I felt weak from my chronic illness, I felt like my life purpose was going to be a complete failure. It was interesting watching these emotions build slowly, slowly slowly… I was able to sit with the pretty successfully and just watch unattached to them using basic mindfulness principles. I don’t think I was aware of how deep rooted they were in my subconscious though, but it seems I really believe myself to be a failure. Yet as this fear grow bolder (presumably as the psychedelic effects grew stronger) the fear’s root began to surface – The fear of death. Oddly enough these ‘surface’ level fears all stemmed ultimately from my fear of death. Death I remember just sitting outside alone contemplating my own death, contemplating the meaninglessness of my individual life, feeling the reality that in a thousand years all of this life would be gone. Humanity will have long forgotten me, and in all likelihood, all of my contributions will be but a grain of sand to the transformation of the species. Of course my life plays a pivotal role in the infinite chain of causation, however it is utterly impermanent. My mind then started scaling not to thousands of years, but millions of years in this universe’s lifetime. I was somehow able to conceptualize into a higher tier of time and not merely think, but FEEL the emptiness of my life in reality’s lifespan. A great sadness washed over my being. At this point I went into my room and laid down in silence, just staring into my ceiling. A Glimpse of God As I was staring into this empty ceiling feeling the void of my life, all of my loved ones, of humanity itself, I was struck with the most powerful nondual insight of my life. I burst into tears whaling as I realized how I am all beings, every last perspective of consciousness in all possible realities, my being was coming to terms with the enormity of what these implications really meant, that I was responsible for this Universe, that I was this moment of eternity, and that I would experience every last possible variation of possible perspectives. Not only will I experience lifetime after lifetime after lifetime, I’ve done this for eternity. Fucking eternity. I felt my self violently explode into awareness, tears where streaming down my face, and I literally started drooling because of how much infinity I became conscious of. It was heart wrenching, terrifying, utterly absolute Love and terror. It felt like I was going through some sort of childbirth process where I was contracting and releasing into fear and love simultaneously. It was utter infinity, utter emptiness. I was whaling in ecstasy, sadness, love. My body temperature rose and began sweating everywhere. My hands, face, legs, feet, where all damp, all muscles where firing and releasing energy as I felt the enormity of what I am. My body would scrunch up into a child’s pose and then open back up in release. It was the most powerful experience I’ve ever had of God and it only lasted around 10 minutes total. I don’t think such a body reaction is necessary, but if one is not prepared for the enormity of Truth, there’s no telling how the ego-body-mind structure will react. Mine reacted in some sort of hurricane of psycho-physical-energetic contraction and release BECAUSE I’ve never truly seen this shit. Not to the extent of yesterday. I’ve had glimpse of God before both sober and tripping, but nothing like this. Nothing even close. I then spent about an hour just chilling in this massively increased state of awareness processing what the fuck I’d just gone through. Take aways: I realize now that the mind shields itself from the Self to colossal degrees. I already knew the mind acts a shied from Truth, but I really only yesterday felt the power of this mechanism firsthand. If the mind where truly able to remain in this state forever, I’m not sure survival would be possible. This is why I am unsure of whether Ralston’s perspective is correct. Yes you can awaken to yourself while sober; in fact the majority of my awakening process has been from meditation and contemplation. I see very clearly the illusory nature of self, the will of the Universe playing out in every moment, the love and compassion I authentically feel for life and all beings. Yet after this trip I see now the distinction between awakening to your true self and UNDERSTANDING your true self. I see now why Leo talks about understanding. I’m not sure this level of understanding is possible without psychedelics. The thing is, this was only 2g of mushrooms, never mind 5-MeO or a higher dose. As horrific and amazing as this understanding was, I intuited very clearly that this was only the tip of the iceberg. The depth to Truth is kind of terrifying to consider and until one has a heavy dose of themselves, they won’t understand. Was this “experience” temporary? Yes. As new aged as this may sound though, I feel an energetic shift in my being. I’ve felt this from all the trips I do. They truly change one’s energy system and the experience stays with you, changes you. It’s similar to how once you’ve had sex, you forever have an understanding about a facet of reality that no amount of masturbation, porn, or foreplay can replicate. Today I feel at peace, and ease. I feel happy and equanimous. I feel strong and I feel incredible fortunate to have been given this gift, this level of understanding. Another thing I wanted to mention – My intuition tells me that my meditation and hatha yoga practice played a key role with how I was able to receive such a powerful breakthrough on such a low dose of psychedelics. I see a lot of people questioning the effectiveness of more traditional consciousness practices, but from what I can tell, they all feed off one another. So if you’re reading this and are interested in pursuing psychedelics, but don’t have a strong, grounded sober practice, I would encourage you to begin there. 1 hour of meditation a day will radically change your life.

transformation evolution spiraling to infinity and beyond

Took the test. Am a four apparently. Though not sold on it enough for the twenty $ yet. I have been interested in these personality type things (MBTI, Big Five, etc...) for some time, and they revealed solid insights to me, but even though they were helpful vessels for understanding myself, understanding myself always happens beyond any such labels. They function as observations that can only capture still lifes of something very lively and changing. From there I proceed in my true, intimate and direct investigations. I have recently come to a point from where seeking just no longer seems viable. The end of exclusive identification (not entirely solidified) and the understanding that I am nothing in particular has produced a great sense of freedom and peace. My behavior and daily conduct however has not changed that much, which was expected because the separate self's conditioning runs deeper in the body. I will now give my body the time it needs to catch up and heal on it's own term out of a desire to conduct my behaviour with love, and peace at it's source rather than the goal. This desire feels so warm and deeply affectionate I just teared up a little. Anyway, I started putting closer attention to personality and what it is made of. Different people who have gained mastery in this path report different results. Adyashanti says that at the end a very basic personality structure will remain. Matt Kahn says that once one has completely transcended the world she comes back into the body and back into the personality under the realization that there is absolutely no separation between the Absolute and Relative. Peter Ralston however seems to imply that at the end of what he calls transformation there are no attachments left whatsoever. I am curious to see how all this will unfold in my life, thus far it a mystery I am excited to uncover. I would like to hear your opinion on personality. Have a good day, my friend

Hello all. I hope you've done the exercises listed above and have some good experiences and made you motivated to continue visualizing. For me, I've done them and found them easy, especially exercises 1, 3, and 4. I made 1 more challenging by drawing the tree I remembered seeing a couple of years ago before the neighbor chopped it down, with pencil, and visualizing myself walking around this tree I've drawn in 3d, with the graphite texture, color and smell still on it instead of a real-life tree, inside the picture itself. With 3, I just walked around my Japanese back garden, while the radio in the garage playing 90\s songs, I replayed dreamscape songs like 'Trance', Born to be wasted', 'You can do anything', and some songs from Three Days Grace and Luna Remix within my mind. I've worked on my visualization skills for so long it seems I have nearly forgotten how hard it really is. I once really struggled to mentally listen to a song while a song from an outside source was playing, and sometimes had blurs or wonky forms of mental pictures. Let's move on to section 1 of developing your visualization: mind's eye. For some, this is also referred to as the third eye chakra or Ajna chakra. Others would say it's the occipital lobes in the brain responsible for processing visual perception. Regardless, it is my belief that without a strong mind's eye, or even the existence of the mind's eye, you would be severely limited in your ability to achieve goals in your life. Not just in general parts of your life, but also when you want to go deeper with it. Some spiritual traditions use some practices, like Yantras or complex Mandalas, that targets your ability to see an object in your mind. There are even paranormal abilities/supernatural aspects related to the mind's eye, like clairvoyance or perceiving spirits. And so much more I can't cover them all here, but I hope I've piqued your interest. If you're interested in developing a tulpa, an imaginary close companion, then a strong mind's eye is important when, if you want to, to be able to superimpose their form onto your visual perception and see it move around in reality. I'll further elaborate on this advanced form of visualization later in the next stage, developing your tulpa, once you've worked through stage 1of developing your visualizations. However, if you don't resonate, that's ok. Just stage 1 of developing visualization is still useful for life. There are lots of options to develop later with a strong mind's eye, but if you still struggle to see mental images, they're blurry or lose color or lose resolution, then it's crucial you still work on identifying each visual weakness and do isolation training on each one. Before I list some new exercises, I would recommend picking up a drawing activity and/or board game like chess or Chinese Go as a leisure hobby and supplementary training for mental images. Because of these activities, I've progressed further with mental images. I've written instructions on the original post, so here are some changes: if you can do 5-10 minutes, increase by 5 minutes for each exercise (or 1 if you're really struggling), and please feel free to add another exercise appropriate to what you're working on, in this case, it's relevant to vision. However, if you wish, go multi-sensory on some exercises, but beware that you won't progress slightly faster than another that uses deliberate practice on each element of visualization. Exercise 1: Rippling water. Begin this exercise after a meditation session is complete, and your in a meditative state. Imagine, within your eye lid's darkness, a pond. Now imagine drops of water, on at a time, impacting the pond's surface, and follow each ripple created. Then gradually increase the rate of speed, and increase the volume of drops until you can visualize rainfall and clearly see each ripple on the pond. Now gradually slow time, taking in the flow of the raindrops and ripples until all is paused in time. Now, rewind the process slowly, and gradually increase to a comfy speed, while noting every raindrop and ripple reversing. Repeat this cycle 2-3 times or more if you want. Exercise 2: Burning leaves. Begin after a meditation session. In a meditative state, begin imagining an ember. From the ember, imagine the burning rope below it, then the puddle of liquid wax, and finally the rest of the candle and candle holder. now imagine a plate with a leaf. Pick it, set it onto the ember so that it starts to burn, and place it on the plate. Observe it burning until ashes. Now rewind time, at the same speed, and watch it closely until it stops at the point you placed it on the plate. Repeat, gradually adding leaves until you need a barrel to burn the bundles of leaves and un-burn them. Exercise 3: Cooking a salad. Begin after a meditation session. Imagine a pan lined with a thin layer of oil, and already heated enough to start cooking. Now visualize an already chopped-to-pieces melon, apple, grapes, and kiwi. Notice each fruit's colors, and slid them off of the cutting board and into the frying pan. The main thing to visualize is the burning of the fruits as you stir them every now and then and the changes to their colors, how the pigments darken. This is optional, but feel free to use multiple senses, including the cackling of the oil and water, different sweet-smelling aromas, how each piece of fruit feel like, emotionally, undergoing this transformation process, maybe regretting passing judgments onto other fruits with a different sense of humor, or maybe the apple is relieved to change appearance, or what it's like for fruits to have emotions, etc. Take it until all are roasted, and, you guessed it, rewind the entire process backward and forwards. Notice how the pigments lighten up with color. If you took the multi-sensory path, notice especially how the reversal affects the emotions. Exercise 4: Orbiting orbitals. Begin after a meditation session. In a meditative state, bring to mind a colored ball of vibrating energy. Imagine it moving in a sort of circular motion around you and sometimes in front of you. Then imagine a different colored ball, sharing a similar orbiting pattern to the first ball. Increase until you have about 4 or so balls around you. Now imagine when one ball touches the other, it shares it's coloring briefly, giving birth to a smaller colored ball with both parent's colors, blended well on some spots, and some not. Keep going until you can't keep track of the balls, then reserve time to any point in the middle of these colors manifesting similar colors and freeze time. To conclude, I want to tell you that visualizing isn't always easy, regardless if you're born gifted. I've disclosed this before years ago elsewhere, but I'm not that gifted with picture-perfect mental imagery and had a small degree of mental blindness. Furthermore, a decade or so ago, I've been in a near-fatal accident that made me partially blind on each eye, further making things difficult to see. I persisted anyway, despite the limitation of the scars on my central vision, to work on my mind's eye until I can confidently say for myself that I can visually, near-perfectly see, the objects and situations in my mind with near realistic depictions, despite my eye's limitation. So, even if you feel you don't resonate with what I offer and move on, I strongly urge you to not leave behind your strong will, conviction, and persistence. And regardless of other's opinions of tulpas I've heard in real life and internet, it's still a blessing to have been affected by this in my life, and I want to share this blessing because I've felt some benefits from it that could have a similar effect on those that are open-minded, and for those that had experienced similar things I've been through, and to possibly experience a deeper sense of empathy. For people that resonate, don't stop and continue working on yourself. Have a good week, and destiny is all!

The Initial rising of the Kundalini can be sudden, though that is usually not recommended, as it can cause neurological problems. A gradual approach, with years of preparation is usually the path preferred by both. After the Initial rising of the Kundalini to the very top, a process of transformation begins, which involves the drinking of Soma. It is the Soma, which emanates from a higher dimension that causes an ordinary human to gradually ascend to a higher state of being. This is a process, that might take a lifetime, however, before the nervous system regains its balance, many people experience Kundalini syndrome, which is due to the nervous system needing time to adjust. If proper preparation is done, usually with a Guru, the worst effects of Kundalini syndrome can be avoided. I try to avoid using the word enlightenment, it isn't a part of Eastern tradition as such. Samadhi is a part of Kundalini awakening and can occur at various stages of the process, but it only becomes a permanent condition in an adept, after a considerable time has passed and it requires a complete energetic transformation due to the gradual, slow drinking of Soma. This substance drips down from Heaven one drop at a time and each drop takes a person closer to eventual liberation or Moksha.

Some contemplations during a nature walk: 1. When my mind is free to explore, it holds ideas so loosely that they can be lost. Almost like a dream state. Sometimes when I dream, I can’t quite hold on to the dream and recall it later when I wake up. It helps to write it down in a journal asap before it is lost. Some of my waking states are like this as well. They are dreamlike insights that appear, yet are often lost. Perhaps I should carry a small notebook with me in nature as to write them down. 2. I often point out to others how their attachments and identifications are limiting and prevent more holistic understanding. My mind generally holds ideas loosely, yet sometimes snags appear and I need to go through the process myself. It can be messy at times. Here is an example of my own process. . . Over the last week, I’ve been listening to Ayahuasca music from a community in Peru. A few years ago I did an Aya retreat with this community and have very fond memories. Each night as I’m doing yoga, I listen to the music and can get back to that essence of the retreat. This had led to a desire to return. A few days ago, I went online to check out how this community is doing. I discovered that the lead facilitator had recently passed away. A sadness arose. There was now a deeper resonance when I listened to him sing. I went online to learn more about him, his essence and teachings. I watched videos and read through his blog. . . Then I came across a blog that was very critical of him. This wasn’t just a disgruntled tourist. This woman had lived in Peru and done many Ayahuasca ceremonies with indigenous people. She also met the man in question. She definitely had a hard edge to her as she described how this man was not a shaman, Shipibo or Ayahuasquero Coronado. He was a city realtor who bought a lot of sacred land cheaply, appropriated culture and mistreated indigenous people. She met the man in question many times and lived with village folk. . . . Here is the process I went through. At first, there was dismissal. My mind created a binary construct in which the man was either a beloved spiritual teacher or a nefarious manipulator. There was attachment to my relationship with him as a beloved spiritual teacher. So my mind looked for ways to discredit her essay. For example, she mentioned that mother Aya strickened him with cancer for his deeds and took his life to remove his influence. This I could discredit, yet I wasn’t able to entirely discredit her. . . . Then there was a shift. . . I had been blind and did not see how this man was actually self-centered and harmed indigenous people and their culture. This recontextualized my entire experience and memories. I had been duped by this community. I never had an authentic Aya ceremony led by a true Shaman. I was taken as a sucker. I couldn’t even listen to the Aya music anymore. I couldn’t bear to hear the voice that I once thought was a door to spirituality, yet now know was a voice of trickery. . . Notice how my mind was attached/identified to one side of the duality and flipped to being attached/identified to the.other side of the duality. . . Yet this could not be maintained either. I re-read her blog post and read the comments. There was another woman that gave a very different account of this man and challenged the author. The two went back and forth - they each seemed to make good points. And I went back and forth with believing one or the other. . . Then while walking in nature yesterday, there was a letting go and a transcendent view emerged. This view was not attached/identified to any view. It was simply observing without any “either / or” constructs. And there was realization that both views are true. I could see how he was a genuine wise spiritual being and I could see how he behaved in ways that culturally appropriated and harmed indigenous people. And many new views arose as well. This wasn’t simply considering other points of view from my point of view. It was deeper. It was understanding various points of view as if each was ‘my’ point of view. With this is freedom. 3. Also during the nature walk, the idea of energy transformation arose. This is a skill I would like to develop. Let’s say I take a position and I’m debating/arguing with someone. There is an energy associated with ‘my’ view and wanting to get my view across as being right. If this energy wasn’t there, I wouldn’t care and would have no interest in debating and protecting the view. This same energy can be transformed. The first law of thermodynamics states that energy is neither created or destroyed - it is only transformed from one form to another. For example, it energy to protect a view can be transformed into energy of curiosity or energy of creativity. It isn’t easy to transform, yet now that I’ve realized this, I can now start working with it. 4. Memories of intellect, feelings and body.. . . Most of my memories arise as thoughts and images. For example, during my nature walk, I remembered a trip to Arizona. There were thoughts and images about the trip. The intellect in my mind is often dominant and creates and controls a narrative. Yet there are also feeling memories. These are harder for me to purely access. For example, there was remembering the feeling of climbing trees when I was a boy. There were no thoughts or images from when I was a boy. There was the remembrance of joy and freedom of climbing trees. I was feeling it right then. There was no construct of past and present. One reason fond memories are so cherished is because of how they make us feel. Yet unfortunately, most of the memory is taken and controlled by thoughts and images. At the expense of feelings memories occurring Now. I would like to develop this relationship with reality. 5. Our environment can be experienced through feelings, energetics, imagination and thinking. These are not mutually exclusive, yet the categories have value. For example, my mind is dominant on experiencing through the lens of thoughts and concepts. It misses out on a lot of what is actually happening Now. One of my current practices is to reduce the extent my mind becomes immersed in thought and concepts. To experience and perceive more through intuition, feeling and energetics. This can be very simple. For example, I was laying in a forest a few days ago. After an hour or so, there was a very subtle feeling of chill. It was like a breeze was gently tickling me with a brush of chill. I immersed myself into it and observed. Occasionally a breeze would pass by and the chill would appear. It was a pleasant feeling. I layed there for about another hour and observed my body gradually becoming cold. There was a desire to respond and start moving, yet I let go and got curious and observed. I observed how the body gradually gets cold and how it responds. I watched how my mind and body related to the process of gradually getting cold. Over a 1hr. period. It was fascinating. . . Yet I would not have noticed/experienced this if my mind was immersed in worrisome thoughts, stories, concepts etc. 6. Transpersonal curiosity can lead to anxiety. Yesterday, I was driving down an old country road and saw a woman jogging on the shoulder. A thought arose “What would it be like to run over that woman? What would it feel like to experience that?”. There was then an impulse just to try it and see what happens. . . This is “transpersonal” in the sense that it was not placing personal value on myself or the woman. It would be like asking “What wold it would feel like to jump into that lake”. There is no concern for the welfare of my body or the welfare of the lake. This was a similar dynamic with the woman jogger. It was a transpersonal curiosity. Yet then the personal entered and induced a lot of internal tension. There was a thought of “OMG, that is awful!!! What if I actually did it?”. Then there was anxiety that re-enforced the thoughts. “OMG, I’m feeling anxious. I might actually do it. What if I can’t control myself”. Then anxiety transformed into panic. . . I ended up driving past the woman, yet it was a very uncomfortable moment being trapped at the interface between personal and transpersonal.

Check out the holistic psychologist on instagram and youtube, and look into the technique of future self journaling. Very powerful. Id also recommend meditation as habit transformation will pretty much always require mindfulness and concentration as we feel the ego trying to pull itself back into old conditioning.

Meta transformation of RSD. Step 1: Want to get into girls' pants. Learn what girls want so I can get in their pants. Step 2: Girls want successful, adventurous, and confident guys. Pretend to possess those qualities. Step 3: Pretending only works for one night. The second night it fails. Find out how to become confident and successful. Step 4: Make lots of money by telling people how to fake confidence and success. Fame follows money so they get discovered by women of their deceitful ways. Time for rebranding. Step 5: Learned enough meta-information about how success, fame, and money are attained. Teach this meta-information to the crowds. (Information provided by OP) Step ... Step Infinity: The universe is One Consciousness. Nothing Exists and Everything is Perfect. The end. The guys that wanted to get into girls' pants discovered God. God laughs.

I have a new idea about "die before you die". It says in the Bible that the body of flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God. So what needs to happen is that the body of flesh dies before it dies! Meaning being transformed from a third density body to a fourth density body before it dies a physical death. That's a really extreme perspective, yet I will take it as a serious strategy to see what happens. Usually we are taught to be following the "rules" of the "caterpillar" society. Screw that! I'm aiming for a butterfly transformation of society.

I love this list. 6 years of self-actualization was a waste of time Started by Stretch, 3 hours ago Reply to this topic 16 posts in this topic Stretch Topic Starter Member 108 posts Posted 3 hours ago · About 6 years ago I discovered Actualized.org and became inspired by the concepts of enlightenment and self-actualisation. Gradually pursuit of these took over my life, as I focused ever more narrowly on consciousness work as a way to improve my life. Eventually, I let go of friends, relationships, careers, possessions, hobbies and interests. Did a lot of meditation, yoga, etc. Built a spiritual ego and did some spiritual bypassing, too. Had one awakening experience. 6 years down the line and I am depressed, lost, alone, purposeless and empty. Trying and failing to find a sustainable life purpose I’ve ended up in a much worse practical position than if I’d settled for something less ambitious, and now I've run out of the luxury to keep looking due to personal circumstances. Although my meditation at one point felt like it was significantly clearer, at this point I have to doubt if my concentration is really much better than when I started. I don’t feel any closer to truth, and have completely lost my playfulness, sense of humour and experience of fun along the way. You have to take a LOT on faith with this work. The guidance isn’t presented as a dogma so much as a ‘try it and see for yourself’ thing. How long an experiment is reasonable to run, however, before lack of willingness to accept ‘it isn’t working’ betrays treating the guidance as dogma nevertheless? I’ve wasted 6 years of my life on a totally pointless quest, I’m absolutely sick of it, and I’m leaving now to attempt to stitch my life back together again. One more thing… I have to ask… Leo’s been doing this thing hard for a while now too, right. Let’s detach ourselves from our beliefs about enlightenment and self-actualisation for a mo and look at this objectively. Anyone else think his life looks a bit sad? Waken Member 143 posts Posted 2 hours ago (edited) · Stretch, what is it that you want from life? Feeling love, joy, peace, transcendence, career, fame, beauty, profoundness, finding a lover.. what? And did you enjoy some of the practises you did? Also, was your business with the spiritual work a lot of mind stuff? A point on following your life purpose. For myself I find something that Bashar mentioned much more natural when talking about life purpose. See: https://bashar.org/handouts/TheFormula.pdf . This approach doesn't involve working on a purpose, but in short just doing what attracts you most in the moment. Apart from these questions, please consider the possibility that you've actually progressed a lot and now come into a struggle into your life, which could be seen as an important transformation point. I don't know if this is the case for you, but I suppose it's very common for people who transform into living from spirit/soul (or whatever word you like) will come into one or more points in their journey which involve a period of struggle. The way you interpreted your period of struggle makes a lot of difference in how you'll experience it. For example, relabeling depression as a natural process for turning inwards, as you've come to feel that the answers won't be found outside of you (not from Leo or other actualized.org people), will make you experience it with much more appreciation, instead of thinking you've ended up in a mess. Maybe your depression is a point of transformation for you, where you stop looking for answers and suggestions outside of you, and learn to live from inward out, instead from outward in. Throw away all you've ever heard, everyone's tips on how to live and what to do, throw away everything doesn't make you feel good (from actualized.org too), and start feeling what it is you want now ------------------------------------- Ya know Member 82 posts Posted 38 minutes ago · It's an ego backlash. Is it really a problem? Aren't all problems imaginary? Did you truly have a terrible 6 years of your life? Or are you only a bit pissed off and thinking it's the end of the world ? I do the exact same thing - most human beings do, so it's nothing to be ashamed of. If you've been meditating consistently for 6 years I can guarantee your life is better. Sure there are low points, and with more awareness can come some resentment of others if you don't keep letting go of stupid thoughts like that. Remember the most basic personal development mantras - '' YOU ARE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE'' Leo showed you the path, you decided to walk it. You can get off any time and enjoy life. There's a lot to do here. As for losing humor and joy, I've done the exact same thing. Realize spirituality is meant to enhance your life. You aren't supposed to become the grim reaper, condemning humanities lack of consciousness and living in a gloomy world. The work liberates you from feeling compelled to live a certain way, to conform to society. You can choose to be detached. Doing what YOU want. To cure your depression - eat healthy for the next 2 days (focus on only two, it's achievable. Plan 6 meals, 3 per day) Do 30 mins exercise per day Drink a bunch of water - Go out in nature (if possible) Continue your spiritual practices. Don't disregard them because of a foul mood. Then chill out and make intuitive decisions about what will be the most appealing thing to do. Talk to a friend as well. If your pissed off, be pissed off! Feel it fully and let go of it. -----__---_-------_--------_----- Leo Gura Administrator 17,799 posts Posted 16 minutes ago · Firstly, it wasn't a waste of time. The lessons you learned will serve you for the rest of your life. It will keep paying dividends. Secondly, it's important to do this work without making it a chore. It has to align with your passions. Don't do it if you aren't passionate about. It sounds like this work is too advanced for you. You probably have lower stages of the Spiral to work on, which means Tier 1 teachings like basic self-help, biz, relationships, etc. You won't be able to go for advanced spiritual work unless you take care of your more basic desires and burn through some karma. The stuff I teach nowadays is extremely advanced and not suitable for many people who struggle with meeting basic needs. Thirdly, there are much worse ways you could have used your time. Fourthly, don't underestimate how much you grew in those 6 years. It's easy to forget how ignorant, selfish, and fooling you were back them. Growth happens and is then taken for granted. Fifthly, you are allowed to have friends and relationships.

Stretch, what is it that you want from life? Feeling love, joy, peace, transcendence, career, fame, beauty, profoundness, finding a lover.. what? And did you enjoy some of the practises you did? Also, was your business with the spiritual work a lot of mind stuff? A point on following your life purpose. For myself I find something that Bashar mentioned much more natural when talking about life purpose. See: https://bashar.org/handouts/TheFormula.pdf . This approach doesn't involve working on a purpose, but in short just doing what attracts you most in the moment. Apart from these questions, please consider the possibility that you've actually progressed a lot and now come into a struggle into your life, which could be seen as an important transformation point. I don't know if this is the case for you, but I suppose it's very common for people who transform into living from spirit/soul (or whatever word you like) will come into one or more points in their journey which involve a period of struggle. The way you interpreted your period of struggle makes a lot of difference in how you'll experience it. For example, relabeling depression as a natural process for turning inwards, as you've come to feel that the answers won't be found outside of you (not from Leo or other actualized.org people), will make you experience it with much more appreciation, instead of thinking you've ended up in a mess. Maybe your depression is a point of transformation for you, where you stop looking for answers and suggestions outside of you, and learn to live from inward out, instead from outward in. Throw away all you've ever heard, everyone's tips on how to live and what to do, throw away everything doesn't make you feel good (from actualized.org too), and start feeling what it is you want now

I call enlightment as the death of the ego in everyday life. A clear understanding, a certain consciousness levels where the ego is seeing as what it is, not as just your true identity/truth. Of course realization comes with certain profound level understanding of reality. But I think we can say that "enlightment" is not the definition of complete understanding of reality, but rather a certain trascendence from it. I think psychedelics are great and withouth them I wouldn´t be where I am . I just think not everyone is ready to just take the psychedelic path and start tripping regularly non-stop until reaching enlightment, it just too hardcore, too intense. Ego backlash is a real thing, with psychedelics you can traumatize yourself if you aren´t careful. The ego usually asks for a break if there´s been much transformation/mindfuck. And that is totally normal and Ok. For most people there´s a lot of integraiton and shadow work/purification while doing the psychedelic path. This means sometimes stopping to catch a breath, start a sober practice, integrate, discover...etc. I think you get my point.

“Remember, always, that this is a beautiful game that we are playing here and co-creating together with our Infinite Creator. And that off stage (between lives), we are the very best of friends. No one really dies and no one really suffers, except in the game. The game is not reality. Reality is reality. And you have the power to express your reality within the game, once you have learnt how to do so.” ~~ Quote from the “Hidden Hand” Interview Below are key excerpts from a 60-page Internet interview with a self-proclaimed deep insider who goes by “Hidden Hand.” This took place in October 2008 on abovetopsecret forums. For the full interview, http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread402958/pg1 Questions have been removed in this 16-page summary to focus on the main points of this provocative message. The transcript has also been edited and rearranged for clarity and ease of reading. This essay has most intriguing answers as to why there is so much war and violence on our planet, and why some of our world leaders are so corrupt and cruel. You are encouraged to be skeptical, yet also open to the inspiration and wisdom shared. You are invited to use your discernment and open to higher guidance as you read this. Consider particularly that the “harvest” mentioned may just be a metaphor for what happens to each individual at death. Window of Opportunity Ruling Bloodlines and the Family I am a generational member of a ruling bloodline family. Every so often, as per the directives of the law of our Infinite Creator, a brief window of opportunity opens whereby a select handful of our Family are required to make communication with our subjects. Our lineage can be traced back beyond antiquity. There are 13 base or core original bloodlines. Yet there are many, many other lines that spring from these. From the earliest times of your recorded history and beyond, our Family has been directing the play from behind the scenes. We are born to lead. It is part of the design for this current paradigm. People in this world are seen as collateral – pawns that are maneuvered around the chess board according to the game plan. But in the Family, contrary to popular beliefs, many of us do not mean you any harm directly. There is just the matter of divine destiny to uphold and unfold, and we must play our parts in the game, as given to us by the Infinite Creator. There are six disciplines of training within the Family. Each member of the Family is schooled extensively in all of them from early childhood. The six spheres or schools of learning are military, government, spiritual, scholarship, leadership, and sciences. Though we have experience in all spheres, we all have an area of specialty. My area of specialty is in spirituality, so my focus is not so much on geo-political events. I am aware of the overall design, though the finer points are often outside of my area of expertise. You will never be free for as long as you are incarnating on this planet. The very nature of your being here is indication of that. There is a reason why you are here, and “here” is very likely not really where you think “here” is. How do you become free? By working out where you are and coming to an understanding of why you are here. In your hypnotized state, you have as a society given your free will consent to the state your planet is in today. You saturate your minds with the unhealthy dishes served up for you on your televisions that you are addicted to; violence, pornography, greed, hatred, selfishness, incessant bad news, fear and “terror”. When was the last time you stopped to think of something beautiful and pure? The planet is the way it is because of your collective thoughts about it. You are complicit in your inaction every time you look the other way when you see an injustice. Your thought, projected at the sub-conscious level of creation to the Infinite Creator, is your allowance of these things to occur. In so doing, you are serving our purpose. It is very important to us that the polarization of this planet is negative at the time of the great harvest. That means service to self orientated, as opposed to positive, service to others. We require a negative harvest, and you are doing a fine job of helping us to attain our goal. We are very grateful. We came to power not by chance, but rather (which I know may be hard to swallow) by intelligent design. This path of ours was not chosen by us, but rather it was appointed and accepted. Begin to study outside of the box for a true understanding of the creation. In the Beginning In the beginning, there is the Infinite One. This is the source of All That Is. Infinite consciousness. Intelligent infinity. It is the undifferentiated absolute. Within it is unlimited potential, waiting to become. Think of it as the “uncarved block” of your Taoist traditions. There is unity. Infinite intelligence and infinite energy – the two are one. Within them is the potential for all creation. Infinite intelligence does not recognize its potential. It is the undifferentiated absolute. This state of consciousness could be termed as “being”. Infinite energy, in contrast, recognizes the potential of “becoming” all things in order to bring any desired experience into being. Infinite intelligence can be likened to the central heartbeat of life, and infinite energy to the spiritual life-blood which pumps out from the Infinite Creator to form the creation. Infinite intelligence, becoming aware of itself, seeks to experience itself, and thus the “One Infinite Creator” is born or manifest. In effect, the Creator is a point of focused infinite consciousness expressing infinite intelligent energy. The One Infinite Creator, also becoming self aware, seeks to experience itself as Creator, and in so doing, begins the next step down in the creational spiral. On focusing its infinite intelligence, the One Infinite Creator manifests intelligent energy which you could call the great central sun. It then divides itself into smaller portions of itself that can, in turn, experience themselves as creators (or central suns). In other words, each central sun (or creator) is a step down in conscious awareness (or distortion) from the original “thought” of creation. Creation is based upon the “Three Primary Distortions of The Infinite One”: 1. Free Will 2. Love 3. Light 1). Free Will: In the first law (or distortion) of creation, the creator receives the free will to know and experience itself as an individuated, though (paradoxically) unified, aspect of the One. 2). Love: In the second law of creation, the initial distortion of free will becomes a focus point of awareness known as Logos, or love (or “The Word” in biblical terms). Love, or Logos, using its infinite intelligent energy then takes on the role of co-creating a vast array of physical manifestations (thought forms) or densities (which some call dimensions or planes of existence), in which according to its intelligent design, will best offer the range of potential experiences in which it can know itself. In effect, the One Infinite Creator, in dividing itself into Logos, could be termed in your third density understanding as a “Universal Creator”. In other words, Logos creates physical universes in which it and the creator may experience themselves (“let there be light”). 3). Light: To manifest this infinite spiritual or life-force energy into a physical thought form of densities, Logos creates the third distortion of light. The nature of all physically manifest energy is light. Wherever thus exists any form of physical matter, there is light, love, and divine intelligent energy at it’s core. From the three original primary distortions of the One, which make the creation, arise myriad hierarchies of other sub-distortions, each containing their own specific paradoxes. The goal of the game is to enter into these further divisions of creation, and then seek to harmonize the polarities in order to once again know oneself as the creator of them. Drawing upon its infinite intelligence, the Infinite Creator designed a blueprint based on the finite principles of free will of awareness and sub-level creations, which each in their turn, could become aware of themselves and seek to experience themselves as creators. The One Infinite Creator (or great central sun) steps down its infinite energy to become Logos. Logos in turn designs vast universes of space (as yet unmaterialized), stepping down and splitting itself again, into Logoi (plural), in other words, into an array of central suns which will each become a Logos (or co-creator) of its own universe. Yet each unique individualized portion created by the One Infinite Creator contains within it, as its very essence, intelligent infinity. Using the law of free will, each universal Logos (central sun) designs and creates its own version or perspective of physical reality in which to experience itself as creator by focusing its intelligent energy to create, for instance, the form of galaxies within itself. Stepping down again, each galactic Logos (sub-Logos) can split itself into yet further co-creator portions (sub-sub-Logos), which can then design and manifest their own ideas of physical reality, as in the form of points of conscious awareness that we call stars and planets. We are not directly created by the One Infinite Creator, but rather by our own Logos, sub-Logos, sub-sub-Logos and so on. So from that perspective, whilst we are all essentially made up of the same “stuff” of creation, initiated by the One Infinite Creator, our direct personal creators are different portions or sub-Logos of the One. Yahweh and Lucifer Your creator, the one who has been called “Yahweh”, is not “God” inasmuch as your Bible refers to him as being the one true God. He is “a” creator (or sub-sub-Logos) rather than the One Infinite Creator. He is not even a galactic level Logos, but rather, is the planetary Logos for this one planet. There are other and higher “gods” than him. Yet ultimately, all are a part of the One. And either consciously or unconsciously, all are exercising their free will to create. Our creator is the one you refer to as Lucifer, “the Light Bearer” and “Morning Star”. Our creator is not “the Devil”, as he has been portrayed in some religious texts. Lucifer is what you would call a “Group Soul” or “Social Memory Complex”, which has evolved to the level of the sixth density. We (our bloodline families), as a group soul or social memory complex (Lucifer), were on the verge of seventh density ascension. At this level, before harvest comes, we have the choice to progress higher, or to return to help others of lower densities with their evolution by passing down our knowledge and wisdom to those that call upon us for assistance with their own free will. Now at this time, having made our decision to stay and help our galactic brothers and sisters in the One, we were assigned a challenging task by the Council of Elders, who act as the guardians of this galaxy. Yahweh had not handed down his own free will to “know thyself” to those incarnating upon “his” planet, as was his right as planetary Logos. As a result, he was having very little evolutionary progress therein. In the absence of free will, there can be no polarity, and therefore, nothing to “choose” between. As is portrayed in the book of Genesis, the planet was very “Edenic” in nature. Sure, it was a lovely “paradise”, yet the beings incarnating there had no agitator toward evolving beyond the third density, and therefore, little hope of ever making the journey home to the One. So we (Lucifer) were sent to help. Once the order was given from the Council of Elders, we “fell”, or descended back to a place where we could, with hard work and focus, once again materialize a third density manifestation of ourself. Yahweh had agreed to our coming. In fact, it was he who had initially asked the Council for a “catalyst” of change to enter into his creation. Without polarity (derived from free will), there is only the unity of love and light, and no choice to experience “other than” that. So we were to be the catalyst for change in order to provide that choice, thus bringing polarity. Yahweh agreed that we would introduce the concept of free will to Earth’s inhabitants by offering them an initial choice as to whether they wanted it or not. Hence, “The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil” (or more accurately, the knowledge of polarity – of positive and negative). Yahweh then takes his inhabitants to a new “garden”. He tells them they can do anything they like except eating from the Tree of Knowledge, thus creating in them the desire to do the one thing they are told they cannot. Hence, a “choice”. We provide the catalyst by telling them the benefits of attaining knowledge. They then choose to eat from the tree, and the rest is history. Yahweh thought that his “children” would still choose to obey him. When he discovered they did not, he became angry. As is described in his scriptures, he is a jealous God. He did not like it that his children had chosen to disobey him and follow our advice. Yet our group soul was already committed to being here for a predefined set of cycles to help provide the catalyst for human evolution, namely by offering you the negative option, or that which you choose to call “evil” The Game of Life Let’s be clear about one thing though. All of this (physical life/incarnation) is a very intricate and skillfully designed game, whereby the One Infinite Creator plays the game of forgetting who it is, so that it can learn to remember, and in doing so, experience and know itself as creator, all the way down to us tiny individuated sparks of the All That Is. Off stage and between lives as incarnated human beings (zero-point time/antimatter universe), we – all of us and all of you as souls – are great friends, brothers and sisters in the One. Between lives we all have a good laugh about the parts we have performed in the “play” and look forward to and have great fun preparing the next chapters to act out. You are divine souls. You are sparks or seeds of the One Infinite Creator. You are life itself, remembering and learning who you really are. We came here to help you to do this. The planet will complete its ascension to the fourth density, the vibrational density of love. During this ascension, there will be a three-way split for those souls inhabiting Earth. Those of the predominantly negative polarity will accompany us as we graduate through the negative (or service to self) harvest. We (Lucifer) will create a new fourth density Earth, based on the negative service to self polarity, where we must work off our own part of the negative karmic effect incurred from all the negativity created on this planet. Once we have done so, we will be released to once again assume our place as sixth density guardians and teachers of wisdom throughout the galaxy. Those of the predominantly positive polarity (love and light) will ascend to a beautiful new fourth density Earth. There they will begin to work upon their learning and demonstrating of love and compassion. It will be a very beautiful and “Golden” Age. The fourth density begins to open souls up to their true powers as unique individualized aspects of the One Infinite Creator. These individuals will perform works and wonders of the like that the one you call Jesus promised they would do, “and even greater things than these”. It will be a very magical time for those who ascend. In contrast, the majority of humans on the earth, who could be considered shall we say “lukewarm”, will experience a period of (what will feel ecstatic) zero-point time. These people will for a period feel totally at one with the Creator, giving them an encouraging reminder and glimpse of who they really are, before the veil of forgetfulness once again descends. Then they will be transported to another third density planet (a kind of Earth replica), to continue working upon themselves and learning that life here is all about making choices. These souls will remain “quarantined”, incarnating in third density matter until the time of the next harvest; in which time they will need to have proved that they have learned how to be more positive beings, focused more upon being of service to others, rather than seeking only to serve themselves. We (Lucifer) have to be self-service centered to an extreme degree in order to fulfill our mission and become negatively harvested. This is why we work so hard to be as negatively polarized as we possibly can be. If we do not make a high enough percentage, we will miss out and will end up with the majority “lukewarm” percentage that have to go through another cycle in third density. By attaining a negative harvest, we can still “graduate” to fourth density, only it will be a negative polarity planet. Not a great place to be. But, as I’ve stated previously, we (as a group soul) have incurred the natural karmic restitution process that we must work off for all the negativity we have caused upon this planet. We will do this for a cycle in our new fourth density world, and then we will be freed to once again be the glorious being of light that we truly are. We need a negative harvest, so that we can create our fourth density Earth and clear our karmic record. Understand that we HAVE to be negative. That’s what we were sent here to be. It is our contract, which has always been to help you by providing the catalyst of free will and choice. Being negative is very hard for us, not on a physical level (the characters we play enjoy our roles, as we’re programmed that way), but on a spiritual level. We surpassed the lowly negative vibrations eons ago. We are light, and we are love. It is a very hard thing for us to do spiritually, to create all this negativity, but we do it because we love you. And ultimately it is also for your highest good. Remember, we are all just acting out a grand old game here where we agree to forget who we really are, that in the remembering we may find each other again and know that we are One, and that all of life is One. When you remember who you are and you know it deep within the core of your being, you will know and recognize your invisible connection to All That Is. And in so doing, joy, thanksgiving, and service will be the natural outpouring result from your grateful heart.When you work upon yourself and learn to know the creator within you, being of service to others will be natural for you. Editorial Note: Consider the possibility that the parallel planet scenario presented here may be more metaphor than reality. There are many living on Earth right now who experience their lives as a living hell. Yet there are also those living in the same physical reality of this planet whose lives are close to heaven on Earth. As Hidden Hand points out, our deeply held thoughts and beliefs create our experience of life. Focusing on an impending harvest or day of judgment keeps us from opening ever more fully to all that is available to us here and now in this ever-unfolding sacred moment. The Galactic Council of Elders The Council of Elders are the wise and loving guardians of our galaxy. The Council gave us a set of choices. We chose to stay here to help you, despite the cost to ourself. That is the nature of loving service to others. The ultimate paradox in this storyline we are all co-creating together is that in order for us to be of the most service to you, we must be utterly self serving. I do so love our Creator’s sense of irony. Our initial contract was to introduce the catalyst for free will on this planet. When Yahweh began discourse with the Council of Elders, he was not initially looking for help with introducing free will, but rather for guidance on how he could best speed up his (and his inhabitants’) evolutionary process. He was basically running a benign dictatorship. We had at that time just completed an assignment in Tau Ceti, and had reported for our next duties. We (as group soul Lucifer) were sent on a “fact-finding expedition” to visit Earth and meet with Yahweh to evaluate his planetary creation laws and make suggestions on how best he could help his offspring (this is the term I shall use to describe the individuals who comprise the group soul), and thusly Yahweh, to progress. We explored many options and reported our findings to the Council and to Yahweh. It was our best evaluation that the only real and fast track way to increase his evolvement meaningfully was the introduction of free will. It was not specifically free will that Yahweh wanted help with. He simply asked for the introduction of a catalyst. He was not at all pleased with our report that he needed to implement free will. He was happy with his little pet paradise, and he didn’t want to loose control of it. In the end the Council persuaded him that it was the best way, and he reluctantly agreed. We returned to Earth and had a cordial meeting with Yahweh, discussing how we could best implement the free will option. Yahweh was adamant that his offspring would choose to be loyal to him anyway, and that they were so content with their way of life that they would always trust him and do as he said. That, he said, was his main reason that free will would not work well as the catalyst. That’s why he agreed to the experiment of the Tree of Knowledge. He believed it would prove him right. When it did not, he became angry and threw his offspring out of the garden. He laid a big guilt trip on them about how they had broken his trust and disobeyed him. That’s not really an honourable way for a Logos to behave, but hey, that’s the beauty of free will, I guess. Next “problem” to occur, was that his offspring were so grateful to us for our help, that Yahweh became (in his own admission) a jealous God. Then we had the whole “you shall have no other gods before me” thing. We were not pleased with the situation at all, as a Logos should not be behaving like this with his offspring. When we attempted to leave the planet to return to the Council, Yahweh prevented our departure. We tried to leave again, but were then thrown down into the astral planes and confined therein. The Council ordered us to be released, but said we would have to cancel our contract to help the souls on Earth to evolve. We didn’t want to leave. We found humans very likable beings, really positively polarized, and we wanted to stay and help. We just wanted also to be free to come and go as we pleased. The only way we could stay was to remain confined as a group soul, which meant cycles of incarnation for us (as individuated souls), which we had not done for a long while. There is no “wrong” or “right” seen from a higher density, but there are still consequences for every action. Such is the law of karmic effect. The contract had already been made between Yahweh, us, and the Council for us to provide the catalyst, so we had a right to be there. We stayed, but as a karmic result of our group soul’s confinement by Yahweh, our own individuated souls were given the mandate (by the Council) to “rule” over Yahweh’s people during our physical incarnations here on your planet. The karmic effect of Yahweh imprisoning us on the macrocosmic level was that his individuated souls (humans) would be imprisoned on the microcosmic level. The Infinite Creator gave Yahweh (and all) the gift of free will to create as we choose, but the karmic effect of his choice was the Council quarantining the planet. A certain evolutionary level is required to be a functioning part of a positive unified galactic society. The Veil is Drawn Remember that ultimately, this is a game that we are all playing here. We are actors playing on the stage of life. This world is all illusion or thought-form. No one really dies, and no one is really hurt. In between incarnations, you know this very well. But the rules of the game ensure that when you incarnate, you must forget who you really are, so that you believe it is all “real” whilst you are playing the game of life. Forgetting is an essential prerequisite for you to make choices that help you to grow. Otherwise, the game would be too easy. We are not born with the same veil of forgetfulness as you are. The veil is still in place, but would most accurately be described as being somewhat thinner. We see the invisible connections of life which are hidden from you, because we retain access to more than just the third density perspective – not dissimilar to the manner in which some people can see what you call auras. This is because you are working your way up, whereas we have chosen to step down in order to help you. We could not do this as successfully if we had to forget all that we have learned. In other words, to you, everything appears as being separate. We see that this is not the case. We do not have direct soul memory, as in the manner that you remember what you did yesterday, but we may access any portion of our soul memory we so chose when we focus upon it, often in a meditative state. In order to win (or more accurately to be successful in) the game, we must be as negatively polarized as possible – service to self in the extreme. Violence, war, hatred, greed, enslavement, genocide, torture, moral degradation, prostitution, drugs; all these things and more serve our purpose in the game. In all these negative things, we are providing you with tools. But you do not see it. It is not what we do, but how you react to it that is important. We give you the tools. You have the free will choice how you will use them. You have to learn to take responsibility. There is only one of us here. Understand that and you will understand the game. As you do unto others, so you do to yourself. The difference between us and you, in the game, is that we know that we are “playing”. The less you know about the game, and the less you remember that you’re a player, the more “senseless” living becomes. Suggestions For Playing the Game Be good to yourself. Cultivate a genuine love for life and for being. Be genuinely thankful to the Infinite Creator every day for bringing you into being and for his bountiful provision. You have survived this far, have you not? You may not have everything you want, but you have everything you need in order to complete that which you incarnated here to do. Give thanks for that. Desire to serve flows naturally from a grateful heart. Show acknowledgment and gratitude to the Infinite Creator for all that it has done and is doing for you. It has given you the gift of life experience and offered you the free will to decide what you will create with it. Guard your thoughts carefully, as they are more powerful than you may imagine. If you see doom and gloom, then that is what you are projecting. The world is your mirror. It reflects back to you what you are putting out. If you do not like the reflection life is showing you, then change that which is causing it. When you are coming from a place of love for and service to your Creator, a life of service to others will become a natural outflowing from that. Always look for ways that you can be of assistance to your fellow beings. Be of encouragement to others. Build people up, and do not put people down. Be a beacon of light in a dark world. Does that old lady need a hand with her shopping bags? How do you treat the homeless man who asks you for some spare change for the shelter? Ever heard about “angels in disguise”? Look and see the divine spark in the heart of all beings. Treat them as you would like to be treated yourself, and as you would your Creator if he was speaking directly with you. “For even as you do it to the least of these, you do it unto me”. It is up to you how you use the tools we have given you. Whilst incarnating in the third density, negativity is still an important tool in your learning process. It teaches you “other than”. Do you respond to negativity with more negativity? Or do you choose to see the negativity as the tool that it is, and recognize that it is offering you an opportunity? All souls eventually learn that positive is the pathway which leads Home. There is a big difference between loving yourself and being selfish. When you truly understand what it is to know and love yourself, you cannot help but to love and serve others. When you understand this at the core level of your being, you will be on the path Home. More on Our Family Those who are bloodline (Family) are born into it and are raised this way from birth. There is no other way. The bloodline members you readers know are of earthly lineage. Yes, they have their place in the Family, but the real power lines do not originate from this planet. The top of the pyramid is not the top of the pyramid. Above the highest Earthline auspices of the Supreme World Council (and another higher aspect that cannot be named), are the “Hidden Hands” (not the real name of course). The world of my own Family is very different from that of the lower, Earth-based bloodlines. Whilst our training growing up was very strict and disciplined, we were never abused in any way. We grew up with the bigger picture and didn’t need any other motivation. All of the power lines (off world bloodlines) that comprise the “Inner Sanctum” (or “Hidden Hands”) of the Family have certain abilities that third density incarnates do not posses, one of these being the ability to know their entire incarnational past, with focused concentration. The Earth lines are not aware of the bigger picture. They themselves are not of our Lucifer group soul. As far as they are aware, they are out to rule the world, to control and enslave, and to create as much suffering and negativity as is humanly possible. That’s what they get out of the deal – world domination. You’d have to say with that in mind, they’re doing a great job. They are aware that democracy is an illusion which is created to uphold your slavery. Behind the scenes there is only one party – our party. Whichever side “wins” the Family wins. There are many possibilities and alternative scripts. The Rothschild lineage (not its original name) were the pre-eminent line closing the net of control over humanity. But even they are a lesser line within the Family. The names you know do not have the real power. One of the things the Earth lines don’t know or understand is that our agenda is ultimately for the highest good of all concerned in providing you with the catalyst. If they were aware of this truth, there is a slight risk that they would not have done their jobs properly, and they would miss out on joining us in our 95% negative harvest. They are aware of the harvest and the need for them to attain 95% negativity to get out of third density, and that is all the motivation they need to help us achieve our ultimate aims. How they go about it is not really of too great a concern to us, as long as they are getting the job done. Sometimes we have to step in where something they may do or plan goes against our desires, but such instances are few and far between. We already know that which awaits us in our coming fourth density negative polarity world. We shall have to experience the negativity of our own creation and know what it feels like. We shall have to work off the karmic effect of our actions. But at the same time, knowing that this is a beautiful and intricate game that we are all co-creating here together, we also know that we shall be rewarded with a hearty thank you and “job well done” for the sacrifice we have made in bringing this negative polarity into your game for you, that you may use it wisely to see that which you are not. Remember, always, that this is a beautiful game that we are playing here and co-creating together with our Infinite Creator. And that off stage (between lives), we are the very best of friends. No one really dies and no one really suffers, except in the game. The game is not reality. Reality is reality. And you have the power to express your reality within the game, once you have learnt how to do so. Can you look beyond what your eyes are showing you to find and express love and happiness in a world of fear and distress? If you can, you will be as a beacon of light into the darkness. Will you succumb to the darkness, or will you stand and shine your divine inner light? Only you can make that decision for yourself. If the One Infinite Creator is infinite and has created everything that is, then does the Infinite Creator not reside both within you and within all things? When you can see the divine spark of the Infinite Creator within yourself and within even those who would mean you harm, the strong grip of the illusion will begin to lose its power over you. “Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you”. The Harvest Our goal is a negative harvest for ourselves, not for you personally. We provide the catalyst of negativity for you. It is up to you what you do with it. The drastic extent of the negativity we create has more to do with us than it does with you. The harvest is mixed. Those who are 51% or over on the positive path will graduate to fourth density positive. There you will work upon love and compassion, and it will be a very beautiful world to reside within for you. There will be very little negativity – just a small enough amount that you can still use it to exercise your free will in choosing who you are not. But it will be so much more obvious than it is here that negativity is a tool to be used. You will see the interconnectedness of all things, and you will know that you are not separate from one another or from life itself. You will not use words much, unless you choose to. Telepathy becomes the normal method of communication. Everything is open, and you cannot hide your thoughts from others. From that incarnation onwards, you will not have to experience third density incarnation again, unless you later choose to do so from higher densities, as we have done, in order to perfect the art of service. Regarding this current great harvest, what we require is for us to personally attain a 95% negative polarity for ourselves, not for you. We must be 95% negative (at least), in order to graduate to fourth density negative and clear our karmic record of all the negativity we have created on this planet before returning to our rightful place as sixth density guardians of our galaxy and teachers of wisdom to those in lower densities that ask for our assistance. If we do not make it, we will remain trapped in the third density cycle with all those between 50% and 94% negative (what I termed the lukewarm) and have to continue to provide negative polarity there. Harsh as it is, our only way out is to be as negative as possible to graduate. We cannot choose to be positive, because that is not what we came here to do for you. That’s why I often have referred to all the horrible things we’ve done here as our sacrifice. Finding Your Truth Never take what another says to you as “Truth”. Your purpose here is to find your own truth. Sometimes others can help you to do so by offering guidance, but for their truth to become your truth, it must pass through the test of your discernment. Sit quietly in meditation and ask the Infinite Creator to guide your path. Meditate upon that which I have shared and listen to your inner feelings. Feelings are the language of your soul. Your essence can never be destroyed. You are a unique part of the One Infinite Creator. You are an eternal soul currently residing in a physical shell that you could call an “earth-suit”. Your earth-suit will perish, but YOU cannot die. Nothing can destroy the Infinite Creator, and you and the Infinite Creator are One. Our Infinite Creator longs to be close to us. In truth, he is closer than most would believe, they just don’t notice him. As they pass him by on the street every day, when he gives them their change at the shop, when you tuck her into bed and give her a kiss goodnight, when you squash him as he’s running up your bathroom wall toward his web. When there’s no-one else in the room but “you”. The more we trust in our Creator, the more results we get. Life gives us what we expect we’ll receive, because all thought is creative. If we get up and expect to have a bad day, more often than not, that’s exactly what we’ll get. But remember that it works both ways. The main reason people don’t have their prayers answered is because they do not really believe that they will. They don’t have faith in our Infinite Creator or have trust in him. The most powerful form of prayer is thanksgiving. “For even before you ask, I have already given it unto you”. Thanksgiving is knowing that our Infinite Creator has provided for you as he promised and being thankful for that, even before you see the results. There is no such thing as coincidence. Nothing happens by chance. Life is in a constant process of communication with us. Only mostly, people are too busy to notice. Be the strong and courageous soul that deep down you know yourself to be. Do not hide your inner light. Trust yourself, and shine your light into the darkness. Your soul remembers everything you’ve ever experienced. The only reason you don’t remember it all now, is due to what we term the “veil of forgetfulness”. If you came into each new incarnation with access to your soul memory, there’s no point in your coming into space/time. It would be like playing a computer game with all the cheats. You wouldn’t learn anything. And it takes the fun out of playing the game. Remember that this current physical body you carry around with you is not who you are. It’s just the vessel for your essence. Who you are is real and cannot be destroyed. You will retain all your memories of this life experience once you pass beyond the realm of time/space or that which some call heaven. That infinite being living within and around your body, namely your soul, is who you really are. The part of you that thinks, and feels, and loves. It will always be a part of you. Pain and suffering are just aspects of the game. They feel extremely real whilst we are playing the game, and indeed they have to, in order to make you believe that the game is real. No one really dies. But rather, the matter of human form is shed, much like the chrysalis of a caterpillar when the butterfly emerges. Look upon physical incarnation as the chrysalis in which you may transform. Linear time is more accurately described as an intentional fabrication. The true nature of time is cyclical. Though remember also that even cyclical time is part of creation. And creation, beautiful as it may be, is also an Illusion, or more accurately, a thought-form of our Infinite Creator. Creation is not real, but the Creator and co-creators of it are. “Evil” is not who you are. It is part of the complex series of illusions that you use in third density to show you who you are not. The further up through the densities you work, the less polarity plays an important part in the game. The sixth density, the density of unity, is the last level that polarity is a factor. But even then, it factors in a very different way. Instead of balancing positive/negative, you will be balancing love/light, compassion/wisdom. The External Reflects the Internal There is a simple method to check upon your progress. Despite what appears to being going on in the world around you, how loving and harmonious are your personal relationships? Remember that the world is your mirror. It casts back at you the reflection of that which you have projected into it. How many arguments do you find yourself engaging in? Is there bitterness and acrimony within the ranks? Do you look at others and think about how you would like to change them? Or do you love them and accept them as they are? Loving and accepting someone for who they are is known as unconditional love. That is something you will spend much time working upon when graduating into fourth density positive. It’s a good idea to get a head start now. Loving and accepting someone as they are does not mean accepting abusive behavior. But it does mean loving and accepting the person (soul), not the soul’s behavior. The behavior is not who they really are. The soul within is who they are. The quality of your relationships is an excellent mirror from which to gauge the quality of your output, or in other words, that which you are creating. Do you look at a person and concentrate, to a greater or lesser extent, upon the things that you dislike about them and wish would change, or the qualities that you like and admire in them? Remember that we have said that all thought, word, and deed is creative. You get back what you send out. So when you send out the thought “Why is she so hard to live with?” or “Why is he always behaving like this?”, ask yourself, what exactly are you doing? Now focus here, as this is so obvious you could miss it. And in fact, most do. Take away the question from your sentence and essentially you are saying: “She is so hard to live with” and “He is always behaving like this”. Do you see what you are doing? You have just created the very behaviour in that person that you wish to change simply because you do not understand the law of radiation and attraction. Remember, all thought is creative. Now try an experiment: Take someone in your life that you love, but sometimes have trouble getting along with. Think about the thoughts you have projected about that person – the negative thoughts. Ask yourself, does the behavior that you do not like in that person in any way correspond to the thoughts you’ve been having about them? If you’re honest with yourself, it’s a strong bet that it does. Sure, they must have behaved that way in the first place to make you notice that you didn’t like it, but we all have off days sometimes. The more you focus on that behavior, the more you are going to see of it. It’s just life doing what it does and conforming to your expectations about the way it will be for you. Now having recognized this, what will you do about it? Simply notice your negative thoughts as they arise. Literally “catch yourself” as you are having them. And then change your perspective. Focus instead on the things you like about this person: how you love their smile, the sound of their happy laughter; the way they do such and such nice thing, how helpful and loving they can be. Keep putting those positive thoughts out. Persevere, as you may have a bit of negative work to undo first, but just keep catching yourself and focusing on the positive. Then prepare yourself for an almost magical transformation of your circumstances. Always monitor your thoughts and pay attention to their quality, because what you think about is directly related to what you will see around you, and what life will show you. That is the difference between conscious and subconscious creation. Archetypes, Dreams, and Religion The Universal Mind speaks in archetypal Imagery. In a similar way that the writing in some of our Oriental languages uses a system whereby a collection of words or meanings are contained within what is essentially a symbol, so the Universal Mind uses archetypes to communicate in dreamtime. Just like understanding any new dialect, you just need to learn the language. Dreams are a key method our souls use to speak with us. The conscious mind is too busy and distracted most of the time to hear what Spirit has to say. So it tends to use the subconscious instead. You only forget who you are during incarnation. The object of the game is to wake up within the dream, and in effect, become a “lucid gamer”, to remember who you really are during the game, and to then begin working upon the things you came here for. Religion is either actually created, or at very least, heavily influenced by us. God is a human concept, which is a misunderstanding of the original concept of “Creator”. This is further confused, as there are many macrocosmic level creators, or Logos, as has been explained previously. “God” implies some separate entity which is “outside” of you, which you must supplicate to and worship. Our One Infinite Creator and almost all of our Logos and sub-Logos do not want your worship. They want you to understand creation and your place within it as a co-creator. Ultimately, there is a supreme being in the form of the One Infinite Creator. But we are all a part of it, rather than its subjects. None of the names given for this supreme being by your religions are the true name. But they are indeed correct, in that there is one supreme being, namely the Infinite Creator. They just have different concepts about it, which spring from the texts their religion is based upon. Do not worship your Infinite Creator, but rather live in a state of thanksgiving and service to it for bringing you into being, and for this amazing game it has created, in which we may forget who we really are, in order to remember and know ourself again as the Creator. Satan is a human invention. It is the personification you have given to all the negativity that has existed on this beautiful planet. You didn’t know who to blame, and as you could not find it within yourselves to take personal responsibility, Satan was created to absolve yourselves. You are not doomed, and your soul does not require salvation. No one’s soul does. There is nothing to save it from. At the very worst, you will have to repeat as many third density cycles as is necessary in order for you to learn the things you need to learn, in order to progress and graduate to fourth density positive. But one thing is for sure, you will get there in the end. All will find their way Home, to our Infinite Creator. Your Purpose in the Game Your main purpose in the game is to work upon yourself. It is to grow, develop, and transform yourself into a more positive and loving being. You had certain goals that you planned to achieve before incarnating here, which is a main reason for the veil of forgetfulness being in place. If you already knew what your goals were, the game would be too easy. Look at the things in your life that you most love to do. Ask yourself what makes you most happy. Experience these things as often as possible, as they will be related to some of the things you chose to put into your soul contract to do here. Also look at the negative things that often seem to recur during your lifetime. It will be highly likely that these are also things that you chose to come here to work upon. Let us say for example, that you chose to come here to work upon patience during this incarnation. You will likely find that you have a tendency towards impatience, and that life will often bring many experiences to you in order to test your patience. The idea being that rather than losing your temper, you work upon your impatience and resolve to become a more temperate and patient soul. This same analogy may be applied to all manner of circumstances in which life will test you. Look for and begin to identify any recurring issues that you perhaps struggle to deal with. Identify issues which seem to present themselves to you time and time again – perhaps anger, being abusive, selfishness, hatred, cynicism, and the list goes on. Whenever you find recurring circumstances, it is because you are being presented with opportunity after opportunity to work upon these issues until you get it right. Eventually you will choose a way of behavior that is more positive. Once you’ve successfully identified these issues within your life, worked upon them, and used them as the tools of transformation that they are to improve the quality of your character, you will notice that these things seem to almost cease to appear in your life. You will still be presented with them at varying intervals, to check that you have not forgotten that which you have learned, but they will be fewer and far between. Working on Yourself Work upon yourself. Go inside in a state of meditative contemplation. Still your mind that your soul may have room in which to make its “still-small voice” heard. Ask your Infinite Creator to help you, and listen to your inner voice. Be patient. It takes time to develop this inner communication after a lifetime of neglect. Use your negative emotions when they arise as the tools that they truly are. Train yourself to notice when negativity arises in you. When you catch yourself projecting a negative thought, remember that all thought is creative, and ask yourself if that is really what you want to create. It takes a while to become proficient, but do not give up. Just keep noticing your negative thought patterns as they arise, and in so doing, simply choose again and select a response that is more positive. It is called working on yourself and is the main reason you have chosen to be here right now – to work upon yourself. When you persevere and keep working on yourself, gradually it will come to you. And when it does, you must learn to trust in your inner guidance, no matter what others may say. That is the ultimate test – to trust what you know deep inside as your truth, even when the whole world tells you that you are wrong. It is hard work to trust yourself when all those around you doubt you and call you crazy, but it is the job you came here to do. The only real and lasting truth is a self-realized one. Messengers can come and go and show you truth until they’re blue in the face. But it will not be your truth until you have realized for yourself, deep within the core of your being, that it “feels” true for you. Never accept something as true, just because someone tells you it is so. But when your inner voice guides you that a truth is true, and you feel that old warm feeling of excitement welling up from somewhere deep within that says “Yes! I knew it!”, hold on to that feeling (feelings are the language of your soul). Guard it carefully, as you can be sure that your newfound beliefs will be challenged in many ways. It is designed this way, to test you. Your inner truth must be able to withstand the test of time. It will be given a thorough examination. Hold fast to it, so long as it is what you know to be true deep within. Allow nothing or no one outside of you to pull you from your path, no matter how fiercely they contend with you. They are just doing their job, even if they may not even be aware that this is what they are in fact doing. They are performing an important service to you, and you should be grateful to them for that. Follow your heart. Listen to, and trust, your inner voice. Working With Others In getting your message out there, whilst being informative, always do your best not to feed the fear and paranoia, as this will act contrary to your intentions of raising the vibration to positive. Deliver your message in a way that emphasizes the hope and the true beauty and reality of our inherent oneness with our Infinite Creator. The most important thing is not to force things and not to be so impassioned in the delivery of your message that you put people off the content of the message itself. There is a balance that needs to be found between your urgency to awaken others and your compassion for the lack of understanding in their condition. Always adhere to the law of free will and never force your message. Be as a light shining in the darkness. Do not burn others with your light, but rather allow them to be drawn to your light. And be of service to those who come to you willingly. In other words, do not become evangelical with your message, but rather be the enigmatic and loving “wise old sage”, to whom others are drawn to because of the quality of vibration, rather than the volume of rhetoric. Most importantly, practice that which you preach. Others must be able to see the effect of our Infinite Creator conducting his wonderful work through you. But above all things, keep working upon yourself and keep choosing the positive – being of service to others. Do it not because you feel that you must, but because you desire to. Other Catalysts and the Message There is another Family (or group more accurately) asserting a positive influence on humanity, but you cannot see them, and neither are you aware of their existence. They help the planet from a secret “inner” location by the quality of the energy work they engage in and project outward to you, from the Source. There are also here wanderers or “travelers” from higher densities who have chosen to incarnate on Earth at this time in order to perfect service to others. They still have to remember who they are, and part of the concern is that sometimes even they do not manage to awaken in the game, such is the power of the illusion. They are here to awaken themselves, and then to help awaken others to prepare for the coming great harvest. Yet even if they fail to awaken, these souls are not bound by the third density cycle, as they’ve already mastered it. Once their incarnation is over, they are again free to return to their appropriate levels. Many who do not believe now will begin to open their minds as the Earth changes that are coming begin to take effect. People will be terrified and have no idea what is going on, because the governments have concealed this information from you. These travelers or what some have termed “star seeds” are incarnated here to help on the ground level when this all begins to play out over the next few years. When the time is right, they will come forward. Most people are not ready to hear this information yet. But not so far off, they will be. Many of these star seeds have not awakened yet themselves. The Confederation stands by ready to help them to do so, if it is necessary. For ones such as these who have yet to awaken, they will have felt all their lives that they are somehow different. They have a deep sense that somehow, they do not belong here. Many of them will also have many dreams and even visions of their lives on their home planets. You will only receive communication from higher entities if that is something you have already agreed together in your soul contract before coming here. Many here at this time (millions) have a part to play in the great awakening and in making preparations for the great harvest. The message will reach all those it is meant to reach, and that is exactly the way it should be. It is what the Creator wants. Those with ears to hear, eyes to see, and a heart to understand will hear the message, and the seeds planted will grow strong in such fertile soil as these. This message is yet another in a long line of catalysts that your Infinite Creator has provided you with down the course of history. A catalyst is not meant to be believed. It is meant to present you with a challenge to that which you think you know about reality. And that is all it is meant to do. As always, how you respond to the catalyst is entirely up to you. Take the guidance in this message into your meditations, and also seek information from your dreamtime. Test these words deeply. Take them into your heart only if they feel right and truthful to you. If they do, then act upon them and allow nothing and no one to deter you. Arise and play the part for which you volunteered to be here right now. It is almost time. Prepare yourself, and be sure that you are ready. And remember, no matter what ideologies may separate us in this game, the message is all that matters. And the message is that in the love and the light of our Infinite Creator, we are all intimately interconnected in the One. We are brothers and sisters of the light. We wish you all the very best in what remains of your journey here and sincerely hope that you will use the catalyst we have offered to in some way help you to graduate with a glorious and positive great harvest. I look forward to meeting up with so many of you when the Game is over, and enjoying reminiscing about this time, and the parts we have all played in this Great Game. We leave you all in the Love, and the Light of our One Infinite Creator. Namasté.

I'm still considering to go to the Isha Center for half a year, sounds like a good opportunity for transformation. Maybe in a couple months time.. How has your experience been with Shambhavi @Salvijus?

It's not only the static things or situations that are beautiful. Progress and continuous evolution are also beautiful. I think the most beautiful thing about existence is that it's always transforming. And I like to take part in this transformation process.

Happy birthday Leo!!! It has been 7 years since you posted your first video on youtube. Look at the transformation!

@lostmedstudent Take it slow there is no rush. Shadow work is a long process that takes years. It took me 2 years with no days off, of working through my shadows to finally be free of most of them. The few shadows that remain are minuscule compared to what they once were years ago. This progress in shadow work is after 4 years of dedicated nondual practice and daily 1 hour meditations. So basically 6 years total of self work so far. This stuff goes so deep that when we do work through our shadows and overcome our limiting beliefs I truly believe that we change on a molecular level in our DNA. Pacing yourself and knowing how deep you are ready to go and how deep you are willing to go can serve you very well in this process. Work with it, all of creation is infinite intelligence. With that being said sometimes when I have silenced my mind after meditation I will inquire about a fear or shadow and "talk" to it, just to see how I can get to the root of it without demonizing it, just seeing it for what it is. As far as your fear of death is concerned diving headfirst into it with psychedelics might make the fear even bigger because surrendering when you're surrounded by deadly looking psychedelic appearances can be overwhelmingly difficult without the proper preparation. Take it slowly, pace yourself in this. All fear can only occur when we turn away from Love. You are Love. You are Infinity. This might sound weird but the fear of death is the exact same thing as being afraid of infinity; which is the exact same thing as being afraid of what you truly are. I am not sure how deep your psychedelic experiences have been or if you have experienced infinity from nondual experiences but having that experience will change your entire perspective on the concept of death. There really is no such thing as death, just transformation of consciousness. I say this even after experiencing the closest person to me in this life passing away. Its like a bubble popping and the air that was within the bubble merging back into the atmosphere from where it originated. All fear exists in the mind only. The heart knows no fear.

I love this topic. I've been on the shadow work path for a year now, and still going. I've healed a nice amount of my fragments but I still need more. I've only used the Julien Blanc method so far, in Transformation Mastery. It's a very basic and "awareness based" method. It's not so much about love, but more about observing the trauma and the insecurities. I think I'll check the book by Teal. I need to step up my game with SW, because I'm still too basic leveled and I lack the Love component of shadow work. Awareness is still not enough, I need to learn how to love my shadows. Do you recommend more "Shadows before dawn" or "Completion process"? I've seen that the second one should be more about advanced shadow work. Am I right?

Well, that would be the difference between a spontaneous and a conscious awakening. It is hard to reap the benefits if you don't even understand what's happening to you. I would say that in my case, I sorta kinda knew what was happening to me and directed it to some extent, but also allowed it to unfold on its own. The benefits are manifold, but not all of them are accessible to every person and these are generally known as Siddhis. In my case I noticed the following abilities that have not been there before: - An ability to communicate and interact with higher beings, even physically (pr to be more precise, energetically) - The ability to heal through energy - The ability to manifest desired results without particularly trying. - Very strong premonitions even just certain "knowing" without where it comes from, about future events - Increased telepathy and synchronicities to a spooky degree - A feeling of being "in tune" with the universe, generally being in the right place at the right time without any special effort - A free flow of artistic creativity a sort of effortless output of art that has value - The ability to talk at length about serious and particularly spiritual subjects, without tiring, just being sustained by the spirit so to speak and being divinely inspired - Much increased memory and cognitive function - Being happy and content with the way things are and with spiritual rewards, with no particular desire for material rewards, beyond the basic necessities - Lack of fear, full conviction and supreme confidence - A lack of interest in the outcome of your actions. You do things for their own sake, not because you have any desire for a particular outcome to satisfy your ego - No fear of death. You realise that you cannot die, because your consciousness is eternal, only the body you are currently inhabiting is subject to the vagaries of time, not your immortal soul - Unshakable conviction that God is real and that you are part of that greater whole which is an emanation of the prime mover, the source consciousness - Your prayers are answered, sometimes immediately. But, they aren't even prayers really, more like offhand thoughts when in communion with a deity. When connected to a higher power, just thinking about a desired outcome can make it manifest pretty swiftly, though I must stress, not on the level of the miraculous. These outcomes still must follow the basic laws of nature. - Unceasing, almost unbearable happiness and joy, whenever you want it. You connect to Source and et voila, you have the entire universe at your fingertips and there is no end to the joy and pleasure that emanates from this heavenly state. Now, admittedly, there are drawbacks, such as having very little interest in ordinary things and material outcomes even most friendships and relationships will struggle to survive such a profound transformation. But, I think it is well worth the trade-off.

45 min sit today as well. Life felt really horrible and dry before and during this sit. Like everything that is fun about life is now over and gone because of this pandemic situation. Went deep into these feelings, and now I feel revitalized and happy. Pretty amazing this emotional transformation that can happen during 45 min.

New work as in post the media scam of his. I have been following his work too for quite a long time. I see most of his work on inner transformation and working on deep child hood traumas which pretty much control our sub conscious. Love how Julien is so carefree with the attitude of nothing affecting him.

Victor Mgazi recently started started a thread called What is ego, which seems to have begun to level off at 66 responses. I consider his and many of the responses to be of high quality. I'm putting my response (the fourth in his thread) here in Self-Actualization Journals, as it contains a general overview of practical concerns applicable to Victo Mgazi's original topic relative to defining the context of self-refinement in terms of ego-function, it's inherent limitations, as well as its true nature being the access-point by enlightening activity. My response to his OP: Dang, Victor [an excellent topic and OP]! Ego is the creative nexus of attach-ability, yes~ but to say it is attachment… or to say without ego, there is no attachment …ok, certainly we can arguably posit that, in a qualified sense (in terms of habitual use of ego) To be precise, ego is a modality. It's a type of pattern awareness, which can be sub-classified as everyday ordinary conditioned consciousness. So if ego is a modality of perceptive functionality, what constitutes its employment? Isn't ego in charge? If not, who is? What constitutes the person? Who, or what isn't the person? How about this: without awareness, there is no person, nor ego. Ego isn't a thing any more than enlightenment. The point is, and especially in terms of the nature of awareness (which is enlightenment), there is no ego. Creation is filled with points of illumination. Enlightenment is illumination. Ego is actually a point-source without a point (on a good day). Enlightenment is itself a selfless intention, yet it has no point. How wondrous is non-attachment? Our nature is awakeness. It would be a higher clarification of consciousness which brings to light an underlying non-psychological basis of identity which can eventually obviate the hopeless intellectualism caught in the broken record of rationalistic dualism that perpetuates the dead words constituting any kind of intellectual discourse encompassing ego-thought consciousness. What ego is, just isn't (so to speak). We really don't have egos, as ego has (is) the personality (function), without exception. Nevertheless, there is an underlying aspect that hardly ever makes it to the table (with good reason). Unless one actually knows ego's original and selfless function in terms of one's enlightening potential, one's strategic application of ego-functionality falls short of accomplishing inconceivable spiritual adaption and transformation by skillful means— or, rather (without getting all buddhist), as ego's tacit functionality (primal duty, really) reverts to its unified functional purpose as enlightening potential's corollary, is what taoist spiritual alchemy calls the efficacy of the sciences of essence and life. These are two, yet one. As well, psychological awareness and nonpsychological awareness are two, yet one. Ego's true purpose is in administratively aiding in truly selfless and spontaneous transcendent activity by virtue of one's innate enlightening potential. Therefore, enlightening activity isn't the person, but it isn't not the person. Either way no one knows. And who might that be? There, that didn't sound very buddhist. DLH presented a conclusive summary of the created psychological apparatus, without failing to omit the body, adding~ "neither good or bad." That kind of insight has no limit of application in terms of non-resistant penetration into the heart of the matter of life and death. Could habitual patterns of attachment being the matrix of webs of collective psychological momentum through eons of ego-consciousness be something that is being left out of the analysis? It stupefies statistical analysis, yet… "We're all one"— isn't that what we say in our altruistic (self-reflective) moments. Actually it's all one (the creative, karmic aspect we find ourselves in). It really doesn't have to be about us, at all, because, in terms of Reality, which isn't even created, much less subjective relativity (sorry, Einstein!), it's about IT. It's utterly a complete whole for those who actually see potential. In looking at it selflessly, (as it is, not as we are), what are we looking at? What are we getting at? It's us; we're not it. Now there's an ego-check. What constitutes ego-attachments? Ego per se, is pretty helpless, it seems, in terms of its own conditioning; it's own psychological momentum, utterly attached (bound, as it were) as a mere discriminatory point-source of the collective unity. How free is that? So what constitutes that which directs or binds ego to… creative process? Ego isn't a thing, actually. The person being the headlong evidence of a mystery unfolding until… one grasps the import of there being no intrinsic reason or causality underlying the created (or the uncreated, for that matter). How can one be so sure? One can't say— that's for sure, but it IS a mystery first and foremost. There is no explanation. Ultimately, there is no reason, as sure as there is no thing. Quote Ultimately, there is no reason, as sure as there is no thing. In terms of its function as the (creative's sameness within differentiation) nexus of attach-ability, you might conceive of ego as being naturally aspected of creative being in terms of its adherence to karmic law, law of the creative's realm… by virtue of the unitary aspect Creation itself, wholly becoming, as the conditional singularity it might be considered to be. Neither good not bad, it can be intentionally turned around and used as a tool (that's what it really is, after all). But I asked earlier, "who puts ego to use?" The true human with no status, is the taoist term. It is one's inherent enlightening potential that lies dormant mostly, yet, from time to time, arises of its own accord. Who doesn't know that much? The endless task of self-refinement is the process of "turning around the light" of creation (ego), that gradually results in the efficacious restoration and permanent stability of nonpsychological awareness as the true human with no status evidencing one's awakened enlightening potential realized as a partner of creation, never again to be bound by its former karmic affinity, now actualized as affinity with the primal aspect, as opposed to the conditional. "Turning around the light" is the teaching of reversal; the reversion of the conditioned and the restoration of the primal. Ego isn't what, it's rather that which is bound in creation and liberated in potential, that is, the Unborn, or the un-created. That's not so woo-woo. Why? Awareness isn't created. So ultimately, accessing potential is a matter of seeing. That's the essence of awareness. But there's a catch which I touched on above. That is to say, it's you; you're not it. When you see it, to the degree you see, it becomes you, as it were, all along, perpetually aglow. The aspect of ego being elemental in terms of its potential for self-transcendece is itself the "gateless gate", which anyone familiar with mind only teachings of buddhism has heard of. Ultimately, who knows?