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I lately wrote the topic " I woke to the GOD. Death is the only whey to forget?' (sorry for my English, i'm not a native speaker) Thank you so much for all your help there, and also i want to send all the love to : @Kksd74628 @Godishere @Tim R They helped me on priv, so much!! i don't know what would i do, without them. Background: i've had spiritual experience for over 2-3 years, 16-17 trips, (lsd,shrooms,dmt). I mediate every day, lately for 2h a day. Also, I've had some retreats, on which it was 7-8h meditation daily. Almost every tip, till last, was pretty easy, some were challenging, but overall it was rather calm. I've experienced pure nothingness, no-dual states, i've seen my reflection in face on my girlfriend, i had God experience on DMT, when everything and everyone dispreaded, there was no time, only infinity etc. It was all ok. Dosage: 3 days ago, i took 250 uq LSD. I had one trip on 400uq, and it was nothing like that. Trip: After 1h i went to the God state. To the point, I exactly saw God everywhere. The floor was made of God, air was pure God, walls were God, which obviously is all me. I knew that, there was no going back, cause even if i go to the hospital, i can't meet anyone other than God, which is me. If I take some pills, it's going to be only self-deception to forget. I was deceiving my-self all the time, that i'm not God, it was obvious to me. it was all fine, i knew it was the case. But then i went to the bedroom, to talk with my girlfriend, she took LSD too. She was in GOD-state as well. She told me, that "I'm God" i don't why, but i felt like God, which is me, perfectly designed every aspect of my life, from birth, to this moment, and now, it's speaking to me, by the mouth of my girlfriend. I sat down on the bed, to look outside the window.... and all the people in the next building were gone. All the lights in their flats went down. I said "what? Am i really GOD?" there's no-one else? , she said, "yes". Then all the buildings collapsed into me. Weather started to change pretty rapid. Time stopped. Out of my pure imagination. I was 100% sure, that my-small-self died, and i'm out of the dream and i can't go back. There was only face of my girlfriend left. So i said, " really? i was God all my life? i'm dead now?" And then something happened, which shocked me to the core. That was the moment i felt like i want to go back, and forget. That was the moment i regret that i was even alive. The horror: i looked at my girlfriend eyes. It was all sparky with life as always, but suddenly it was gone. I was looking to the dead eyes, completely without a life. The woman i love, was not only dead, but she was empty and shallow. Dark. Void. She was like a withered flower. Like empty costume. It was the most horrifying things i saw in all my life. I was all alone, staring into the empty void of my girlfriend's eyes. Every fucking horror is a joke compare to that. With tears i asked " are you there?" and then i saw like life is going back to her. Her eyes went sparky again. But at that point, all the solipsism horror was unbearable. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted only cease to exist. I don't want to live with knowledge like that. I don't want to be alive with costume-people. It was pure-fuckig-madness-hell. My post on forum: At this moment I tried to write a post here, on the forum. But i knew, i couldn't get any advice from no one, because even actualize.com and Leo Gura is pure fucking imagination, only to cheat me into thinking, that there are others. I'm here, alone, trapped in this empty-shallow-world, to the infinity. It's Only me. I can't die, i can't escape. I wrote every music there is, i wrote every book, it was always only me!! fuck! i wanted to know infinity, and it turned out to be fucking back-mirror-hell. I wrote this post anyway, but i knew, i was talking only to my-self, and my infinite imagination. After the trip: Next 48h i couldn't sleep. I was crying, and shacking on the floor. I couldn't eat. I wanted only to die, and forget. Right now: People on this forum helped me with going through this. Today, after 6-7h of sleep, i'm back to the "old-self" and i don't see imagination and God everywhere. Thank God! Any idea what went wrong, and how do i integrate this? You guys said God-realization it's all about love, and i got fucking horror X1000 to the infinity. Thank you, for all your support. Personally, i think my "ego" still corrupts this forum solipsism, and i feel it through an illusion of separated self. But i don't know.

I understand what you mean by this, I think, but the I feel like you don't have the right context. Reckful was 16 at the time when he tried to kill himself over that video game. 10 years prior, his big brother committed suicide and since then he had to live with that abandonment and a family that was dealing with their own shit and so were not able to take care of him. To illustrate what his family was like, I'm pretty sure his dad was suicidal after his son killed himself and talked plainly about it with Reckful. Next to that while Reckful was about 30 his mom introduced the idea to him of a suicide pact where they would do it together. So to say his circumstances were awful is an understatement. To just say "oh nothing could've saved him, doing something like that signifies he's too fragile for life" I think that's not fair and also sounds very cold. Finally, the end result of if Reckful would've died if Dr.K provided the right treatement is not relevant when we simply look at the fact that I think it's an ethical duty he is obligated to in that situation. Of course it's not like he has the onus to provide help for everyone he sees suffering, but they were literaly in a pseudo doctor-patient relationship. I would expect more from a doctor than to not set clear boundaries and not be the responsible one. If you don't think it was a big factor in this instance, fine, but those rules exist because of the potential harm they can cause.

I don't think so. It's disanalogous because Ivermectin is definitionally a treatment method (even if it has 0 effect). It's not a prognosis. It's more like you're asking him to say "don't kill yourself" after bringing up a statistic about how likely you are to commit suicide if you have x personality type.

Hello everyone, it's been a long time since I last visited actualized.org. I've got a true story of awakening curing a mental illness that I want to share with you guys. My cousin got an awakening that cured his mental illness But before I get into that, I think I get to say awakening is probably ( I'm not sure) not good in this case. I have a cousin that I really love. His mother and I recognized from his childhood that he had the potential to become a good actor but he unluckily inherited a mental illness from his father . He's been suffering from his childhood, worse by time. He's been lying unneccessarily just to enjoy himself by talking nonsense, causing trouble and all kinds of stuff, not working to earn money. He lived an unhealthy life, being impatient like an animal, wasting his money like a rich kid while in reality his family is poor, though he never got into heroin or cigarrette or any drug of the sort. People could still communicate with him. If you just talk with him 2-3 times you would not realize he got a mental illness. You would even probably think he's an interesting guy. He never admitted ( probably even to himself) that he was an insane man even though his parents told me 1 female doctor have told him directly. About three years ago, he self-harmed himself by cutting his left hand (below the arm but above the palm) and therefore that led to a lot of scars on his hand. He sadly said he just wanted to bleed to death. What a stupid action and I heard it. How could small injuries lead to death by bleeding, ceartainly the body would heal them. It only resulted in him looking ugliness. His hand is now like a tree, not a human's hand. I told him to try meditation. And in 2021 Oct he somehow got awakened. He finally admitted he was insane his whole life. Now he's got a more healthy life, really healthy. However, after his mental illness was cured, he became very sad for having remembered he himself created all those scars on his hand. Prior to this, he never cared about those scars. He's got a temporary job now but always worried the boss would fire him if they know about those scars. Only heroin addicts would self-harm themselves but in fact he NEVER did drugs. He's still meditating now but honestly in this case, I feel that it would have been better if he just committed suicide because he himself because he tells me to him living is just like a dragging to grave. There's zero chance he can become an actor when he has those scars and he's facing the possibility of being fired if the boss saw those scars. He's got zero work experience. So, is awakening from a mental illness really good? I have reverence for life but honestly I think the people who have mental illness and ALREADY self-harmed themselves like my cousin should receive euthanasia. Having realized you yourself self-harmed and destroyed your life is more detrimental than anything. Surprisingly, my cousin forgives his father for passing insane genes on him. He's told me an insane person does not know he's insane. Only healthy people can recognize insanity in mad people. Therefore, he instead hates his mother more for having married a madman.

This is the linchpin of your entire argument, and it’s pure speculation There have been gay people since humanity began. Stop giving a fuck about it, who cares if it’s normalised. Anything that moves it towards being considered more acceptable will reduce the suicide rate and suffering of that community in the long run. Anything that does the opposite (more or less what you are suggesting as far as I can tell) will keep it where it is or increase it. If you reduce the acceptability of it in order to decrease the number of homosexual people overall, you will just increase the suffering of the smaller group of homosexual people because they feel like there’s more of a problem with them

Before we can even discuss gay marriage, there are many layers of couched assumptions you're already operating on that need to be discussed and agreed upon first. Is being LGBT something innate that people are born with, is it caused by environmental and social factors, or somewhere in between? The truth is, we don't know for sure yet. Despite how much the mainstream will push an exclusively "born this way" narrative, the actual scientific studies are much less certain. "No conclusive evidence supports any one specific cause of homosexuality; however, most researchers agree that biological and social factors influence the development of sexual orientation." https://books.google.ca/books?id=ivALBAAAQBAJ&pg=PA502&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false "The reason some individuals develop a gay sexual identity has not been definitively established" https://books.google.ca/books?id=fofaAgAAQBAJ&pg=PA82&redir_esc=y "While scientists do not know the exact cause of sexual orientation, they theorize that it is caused by a complex interplay of genetic, hormonal, and environmental influences" https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/113/6/1827/64422/Sexual-Orientation-and-Adolescents?redirectedFrom=fulltext Does being LGBT and/or supporting LGBT people have a positive, neutral, or negative impact on individuals and society? I would argue it has a negative impact based on suicide rates and mental health issues alone. 41% of transgender individuals attempt suicide https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/suicidality-transgender-adults/ . For gay and bisexual men, 12% have attempted suicide. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1447240/ Contrast this against the general population - 0.5% have attempted suicide. https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/ I hypothesize that even in a culture free of bullying and discrimination, LGBT people would still be at a significantly higher risk of suicide and mental health issues than the general population, and that this is an unavoidable side-effect. If being LGBT has a neutral or negative impact, is it ethical to take steps to minimize known environmental and social factors that contribute toward people becoming gay/trans/etc? If you have the ability to control something that reduces your child's lifetime risk of suicide from 12% to 0.5%, I believe you have a moral obligation to do it. (The evidence so far suggests that once someone identifies as LGBT, you cannot "convert" them into being straight. I think that's cruel and shouldn't be attempted. I don't advocate for any kind of conversion therapy. I am only talking about influencing a child's sexuality before they reach a developmental point of no return before they've decided one way or the other.) Does Maltreatment in Childhood Affect Sexual Orientation in Adulthood? - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3535560/ Suicide is just one factor to consider, there may be other negative implications as well. We don't yet know what all of these social and environmental factors are, but I think we should study it and attempt to reduce them as much as possible. Even a 0.1% ethical reduction in LGBT-identified people by removing these factors during childhood would save tens of thousands of lives. No matter what we do, some people will always end up identifying as LGBT. What should we do in these cases? This is where things like gay marriage, bathroom gender discussions, trans athlete discussions, etc come in. I don't think that bullying or being hostile to LGBT people is acceptable. However, we have to consider whether normalizing LGBT lifestyles presents a net harm to society. - Children of homosexual couples less likely to identify as straight - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20642872/ https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/adult-children-lesbian-parents-less-likely-identify-straight-study-finds-n989976 - Does favorable or glamorizing representation of LGBT people in media make kids more likely to identify as LGBT? My intuition says yes, but I don't think a study has been done on this, but it's another environmental factor to consider. - Americans who self-identify as LGBT has gone from 3.5% in 2012 to 5.6% in 2020, that's a huge jump. Statistically that's almost a million extra people who will attempt suicide. Is it purely people feeling more able to openly identify without discrimination, or is something actually happening that is making a higher proportion of people LGBT? https://news.gallup.com/poll/329708/lgbt-identification-rises-latest-estimate.aspx Hopefully I've provided enough credible sources to back up my statements that this isn't taken as homophobic.

That's sad k why would you fight and hope to die if you don't even feel connected to any country? is this a kind of suicide by war type deal? or it would give your life/death meaning? Yea certainly. although it's probably much easier to kill enemies with a joystick form an office with a drone, or drop bombs than to stab an enemy with a sword while seeing his face.

This misunderstanding is very directly and simply put to rest by the following metaphor if the pointing is seen: Q: Did Romeo and Juliet choose (or cause) their suicide? A: Obviously not, because it's just a play. Only in the story did something in the story cause their suicide. In the same way, choices in the real world are simply an appearance of the infinite -- like a tree growing, but faster, and (like everything else) diverse in its own way. Only in the story can something in the story cause anything to happen.

Well honestly your still a good distance away from the conflict zone. Do your best to carry on life as normal. Ground yourself internally to handle external circumstance. Theres really no reason to discontinue your project. Your idea of the future, which you don't see, will never be the real thing. You cant predict the circumstances that will arise tomorrow let alot the next 10 years. So your only limiting yourself by settling into false beliefs. Until something happens that becomes a direct threat to your personal progress no need to stop your personal progress. Until its in your direct experience its only concept and imagination from your point of view worrying about it. The fear will pass once you can relax back into your normal routine, Your reacting because this is something new and uncertain. So take it easy, Uncertainty is a feeling, not a fact. Manage the feelings. Suicide only has the appearance of a better outcome than your imagined worst case scenario. Its a temporary fearful thought of avoidance from a situation your not literally in in the current moment, just recognize that. Theres no bombs falling in Belgium and theres no reasons for Russia to advance into that territory. Your not alone, talk to your family and friends, here on the forum as well.

Not all Christians are evil either, nor Buddhists. Most certainly some are, and some will murder just as some Muslims. I do understand what you are saying in regard to "religion" as a whole. My qualm is purposefully attacking Islam. If the oil was in India no doubt we'd be talking about Hindu and Buddhist suicide bombers. If the religious roles were reversed and the west was not in power then the Christians would be suicide bombing. The problem is not the specific religion, the problem, as I see it, is that nations which are down-trodden turn to any peace of hope they can find. Some people prey on this and recruit fundamentalists (the specific religion doesn't really matter - note; not even Buddhism escapes this phenomenon). If there was no religion then there would be some other ideology to put to work, maybe nationalistic tendencies, basically some cultural difference, be it language, race or whatever. If we are asking what religions are more prone to being manipulated into hatred, then yes, Islam is probably quite high up there, but I wouldn't put it higher than Judaism or Christianity. They are, as I've said already, pretty much cast from the same mold.

@puporing I feel fear & anxiety since I saw the war has begun. Almost every sound I hear from outside give me anxiety, I try to identify them and reassure myself, I was never like that before. I'm thinking about suicide for myself because I don't want to see a war

There aren't alot of information to go off of.. how long have you been feeling fear/anxiety? That might give a clue.. the stuff you mentioned may be triggers to something else, hard to say. And what do you mean by can't stop thinking about suicide? For yourself or others?

sunk cost fallacy They respect power and consequences. Plus Russia has no claim to Poland or Romania or desire to kick that beehive. Putin hasn't lost his mind, trying to take back the entire former USSR would be a suicide mission. That's not my words, I said the opposite That's not something to "go back to", the world has always been that way. You just happened to be born and grew up in an extremely rare time of peace and prosperity. Time to buckle up, because the rest of your life is probably going to be hell in comparison. Instability and danger is the rule, not the exception. We never had true stability, it just takes a while for the inequality to bubble up and for people to take action. If you try to knock down every country that tries something like this, you'll be playing whack-a-mole forever. Plus it's like bottling the pressure back up, it'll just explode even worse in the future.

Today I feel a lot of fear in my body, it seems that I can't stop thinking about war coming, suicide, contacting my ex toxic girlfriend to feel less alone... Is there a particular technique / meditation that help to deal with fear & anxiety please?

If she’s wearing a nuclear suicide vest that kind of implies she’s crazy - “my way or we all die bitches”

Yeah, but the trick is that your mom is wearing a nuclear suicide vest. Anyways.... I don't have strong opinions about this issue. We must see how it plays out. Obviously I don't approve of the invasion.

@Reciprocality About drugs, existencialism, suicide, imagination, creativity ... letting go, trauma and if there is contrast or purpose, virginity/sex, internal frustration where I could break things, difficulty finding love amongst social circles, daily chaos life proposes, am I a puppet without free will ...

@Someone here to me this is basically the essence of LOA or Manifestation. It's not that your circumstances will somehow magically make you happy, its that the more happy you become, the more higher vibrational energy you send out into the cosmos, the more it harmonizes your life - hence attracting that same frequency back into your experience. It's like with your room. It is quite literally a reflection of the inside of your mind. The same with your life as a whole. There is no disconnect. So to me it's not that things inherently make you happy - we all know of the super famous and rich that hate their lives and commit suicide. But if you're happy you may just end up with some things, and if not - that's okay. The emotion comes first, always.

I'm not dealing with anything in particular, I think it might be my default state because I can't remember ever thinking "Gee, how happy I am to be alive" I like petting dogs but not enough to put up with everything else Ill put it in another way, I think life is a game that's not interesting for me and I wish I didn't have to play it, but at the same time I don't wish to commit suicide because of the consequences it would have on the people around me

you think suicide/mental-illness is a matter of not having a thick enough skin? an avoidance of suffering? @Leo Gura

It's no surprise that psychologically dysfunctional people with poor judgment will not have the wisdom necessary to enroll in and complete a course of therapy. These people usually spend their whole lives avoiding facing truth and their emotional wounds/trauma. Also therapy is expensive and tedious. It requires work. Most people who are depressed or suicidal will not want to do that work. The paradox of therapy is that the people who need it the most are usually the sort who are least interested in doing it and also cannot afford it. In general I would guess that a person who kills himself would probably have kill himself at some point in life, and that no one thing anyone says or does to him is the cause of the suicide. Suicidal people usually have a long history of suicidal ideation and attempts. They don't just wake up one day, watch a few bad advice videos, and then decide to kill themselves. If one thing doesn't push them over the edge, another thing will. There can be hundreds of things that could push them over the edge simply because they are already teetering on the edge anyways. I mean this Reckful dude said he tried to kill himself when he was 16 because his favorite MMORPG video game lost users to WoW. If this is not dumb then I don't know what is. A person that fragile will not be able to handle the ups and down of life. Life will hit you with downs pretty hard sometimes. You gotta be willing to handle them. And you can't depend on someone to babysit you through each one. Bottom line is, you need to develop a thick skin to survive life.

I would like that. Perhaps we can chat if these issues have not been cleared up for you by now. I do hope you know we do not promote harming of the body here and we never have. I believe the suicide was the biggest criticism. But spirituality is dangerous if one is not ready or unstable. But I digress and we can talk outside of here if you would like.

The only true cause of death is birth. Anything that is born will die. Everything that is created will be destroyed. When it comes to so-called "causes of death", the rest is at best merely a matter of perspective, if not a deceptive shell game. For example, consider a cigarette smoker who dies with lung cancer shortly after catching the common cold. Would it even make sense to debate about whether the so-called "cause of death" was (1) cigarettes, (2) suicide, (3) lung cancer, or (4) the common cold? I propose that it would make no sense to have such a debate or to assert that one of those is or could be the cause. No human can be saved from death. Thus, nothing else causes a human to die because the death is inevitable from the birth. The human will die regardless of whether they smoke, whether they catch a cold, whether they get lung cancer, whether they drive a motorcycle, whether they are suicidal, or whether they desperately cling to life in terrified fear of death. Neither the presence nor absence of any of those things--or any other things like them--will prevent the person from dying. Thus, those things and anything like them cannot be a true cause of death. One could argue instead that a given event or factor (e.g. the presence of smoking versus non-smoking) would speed up the time of the death. Slightly accelerating or postponing the timing of something is very different than causing it. Moreover, analogous to accelerations or decelerations in Newtonian physics, these factors are cumulative not mutually exclusive, and are thus in practice immeasurable and countless if not infinite. For example, if 8 dogs are pulling a sled, it does not make sense to say which dog is the cause of the sled moving, nor is it true that only the dogs are responsible for the sled moving. Rather, there are countless and presumably infinite factors at play, such as but not limited to friction, gravity, the weather, and how much the guy riding the sled ate for breakfast. Imagine the proverbial sled is going down a steep ice-hill, having black-hole-like properties, and thus the sled will reach its destination very soon regardless of any of those other factors, and some of the dogs are futilely trying to pull the sled up the hill but can only at best slightly decrease the rate of acceleration. That would be a more accurate analogy to anything attempting to prevent human death, such as exercising daily instead of smoking cigarettes daily. There is no preventing death, and no practical way to significantly change to its timing on cosmological scales. The length of a human life is but an itsy bitsy teeny tiny sliver in cosmological spacetime. As a human, each of us is going to die very soon. Every human dies quickly. There is no cause of death, besides birth itself. Once born, the death is inevitable. We are going down the black-hole-like ice-hill quickly, from birth to death, and no dog can reverse the trajectory. When one of us humans reach the bottom of the ice-hill (human death), it is absurd and nonsensical, worse than false, to point to any one dog, or even a few dogs, or even dogs as a whole versus gravity or what the sled rider ate, and accuse that thing of being the cause. It doesn't matter what any of the dogs did, and what the rider ate or didn't eat, and thus those kinds of things cannot logically be considered causes. If you take the cause away, then the result cannot happen. Therefore, if you take an alleged cause away, and the result does still happen, then the alleged cause is no true cause at all, reductio ad absurdum. Thus, the only cause of death is birth.

@AdeptusPsychonautica oh shit! the man is HERE!!!! ahahaahaaa.... wait, if the forum members or any other followers defend leo in a cultlike manner, then they are prob not advanced as they claim to be he is just a talking head. but, even I can defend leo if the accusations are based on a shallow surface level accounts. and the other thing is, suicide happpens everywhere, everyday. and here as well. I don't kw how many people who watched ur videos are dead by now. the difference is, here it is recorded and that makes people highlight it as something huge . and u must kw spirituality has a ton of traps. and all of us have been warned repeatedly. responsibility is yours to take for applying any advice without proper scrutiny. if you doubt supernatural powers, then u are literally crazy dude. my cat can materialize rats in to existence with his powers in just minutes. if u call that fake, i' m gonna call your momma right away about your irresponsible behavior Jk i won't tell ur mom btw

This is not a valid criticism. Psychic powers are not delusional. Healing abilities exist. I have myself encountered psychics who have extraordinary abilities that the normal human population doesn't. Just because you don't believe it doesn't make it Delusional. The atmosphere at Actualized. Org does not encourage/support suicide. In fact it helps people who are suicidal. If anyone takes the decision to commit suicide its up to them. In the wake of the suicide, Leo made it clear that he doesn't want people to die to experience consciousness. Leo is not a heartless monster running a suicide cult. He is well aware of the consequences of spiritual work that's why he took down the video of Solipsism. Learn to appreciate his effort. So to make him look like suicidal cult running guy is disingenuous, baseless and bogus, nothing valid about it. Leo handles criticism from his members in the most impeccable manner, I'm yet to see someone so humble and down to earth, he interacts with everyone here, he is aware of his own mistakes. He is pretty tolerant. And he never pressures anyone to follow his path strictly. Nor does he threaten anyone. This place is free for people to join and work on themselves. People are here by their own will. Perhaps you might want to look up the definition of a cult. People admiring and appreciating his work is not a cult. BTW, this has been endlessly debated before. Take your bogus claims elsewhere. Stop bugging the poor guy with your trollish criticisms. Your stuff has already been debunked.