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Hi I have very deep awakenings with even a small Dose of lsd. 50 mcg is more than enough to let me break through into enlightenmen World. Once the lsd kicks in, i am somehow able to awaken my energy which than shoots up my spine and comes out of my head. When that happens it feels like "I" have dissolved and completely merged with everything. I can then stay high above my crown chakra and all i feel is extrem bliss. Everything is pure golden bliss and i stay there as long as my body can take it. After a while i come back into the "Illusion" but im still fully lucid in it. I dont have the feeling im in the body, instead im just everywhere. Also i dont move my body anymore, it is moved by pure intelligence. It feels so amazing because it litterally seems like god has overtaken my body and is now working through me. Whats interesting is, that my ego is also somehow there, but Its just very quiet and even wants to surrender to that greatness. Sometimes i then have encounters with "other" entities, which i Do know that they are really just myself. But if i interact with them from the ego mind they seem like "other". They sometimes give me insights or work on my energy System so I can reach even higher States of bliss. I know, Its just me working on myself... Whats always weird is Droping out of that state again. I feel so sad and almost depressed. I pray every Day that this will be my default state. I just want god in my life, always... Why Do think one always Drops back? My theory is that maybe my nervous System cannot hold such high energy for a long time, because Literally my nerves hurt after a few hours of being so conscious. I am then curios if it is good to work with psychedelics to cultivate that energy or if they Do harm to the Energy System, so that it will even be more difficult to reach These States permanently. The next few days i Do feel more tired and a bit exhausted of energy... Thats why im wondering. What Do you think?

Just like there's a material home, there's a spiritual home too. When you live in your material home, you find comfort. When you live in your spiritual home, you find eternal bliss and liberation. — Tyler Robinson

Boredom is not a good sign. The solution is internal and not external. Partners aren't video games. If I like a guy genuinely I will never be truly bored of him. There will be a lull period but I will never be completely bored. Try to treat the root cause not the symptom. Your boredom is the real problem. That's because you are lacking in intimacy. This happens because you are afraid to submit emotionally to someone and that's why you don't experience true bliss. Work on your cognitive biases and learn how to surrender completely. Then you won't get bored and you won't feel like doing such things. If you get bored by this, what's the guarantee that you won't be bored by your sex doll? In the end you will only keep chasing things like a chimp chasing booze. You have to fix the chasing itself. If you're not chasing pussy, you are still chasing something else as a replacement. Fix the chasing by healing yourself inside through real intimacy. You are lacking in love Find love.

The Amazing Power Of Psychedelics - Leo Does Magic Psilocybin Mushrooms! https://youtu.be/ypDRRcMKj7E The speaker, Leo, is discussing the potential of using psychedelic substances for self actualization The information is for educational and harm-reduction purposes only Leo is not responsible or liable for any damage caused while using psychedelics Leo has been doing research on psychedelics and wants to share his experiences and results with the viewer Leo is interested in using psychedelics for self actualization, consciousness work, and enlightenment Leo will talk about his experiences with magic psilocybin mushrooms and the potential for using psychedelics for meaningful growth Leo will also discuss the pitfalls of using psychedelics During his experiences with mushrooms, Leo noticed an increase in his awareness and meditative state Leo compared the effects of mushrooms to the heightened awareness and sensitivity experienced after a ten-day meditation retreat The mushrooms also caused Leo to have a strong sense of unity and connectedness with everything Leo experienced a feeling of having a "higher self" or a "witness consciousness" while on mushrooms Leo believes that psychedelics can be a tool for personal growth and self-discovery, but emphasizes the importance of caution and responsibility when using them. Person feels like they are back in the Amazon, like a "savage" or a child raised by wolves in the Amazon This feeling is not negative, but rather makes the person feel authentic and intoxicated in their body Person starts to move and behave in an animalistic way, feeling disinhibited and authentic Person has an epiphany about the importance of being authentic and using their body in a more natural way Person also experiences delusions and everything becomes funny Person becomes aware of the interconnectedness of everything and the importance of love and compassion Person has a profound realization about the nature of their own consciousness and the nature of reality Person feels a deep sense of unity with the universe and a newfound appreciation for the beauty and complexity of the world around them. The narrator experiences hallucinations while under the influence of mushrooms The narrator's mind becomes "meta" and they are able to see the difference between their everyday reality and their mushroom reality The narrator's mind is able to see the "meta lessons" or deeper meaning behind their mushroom experience The narrator realizes that their life narrative and the idea of being "born" as a human being is a fiction The narrator has an "ontological orgasm" and becomes aware of the distinction between real and unreal as being groundless and not real The narrator's mind is injected with a "firehose of wisdom" and they experience "divine bliss" and "divine love" The narrator sees the infinite nature of existence and is overwhelmed with feelings of love and unity The narrator's mushroom experience gives them a deeper understanding and appreciation of the interconnectedness of all things The narrator is left with a sense of awe and gratitude after their mushroom experience and is able to carry this perspective into their everyday life. The speaker experienced nirvana and was fully conscious of it The speaker felt that there was nothing left to achieve in life and that the idea of achievement is a delusion The speaker had insights about their life purpose and how to be more authentic The speaker regularly has insights, many of which are the source of ideas for their episodes These insights are genuine and come from a deep place, and the speaker is often surprised by them The speaker wants to share their insights with others, but recognizes that it may be difficult or impossible to communicate them effectively The speaker's trip lasted for a few hours and then ended The speaker had an ontological orgasm during the trip The main challenge for humanity has always been ignorance Sages, saints, Zen masters, and Yogis have known the truth about enlightenment for thousands of years, but regular people are too deeply in a trance to comprehend it This has been the case throughout human history and will likely continue unless there is a breakthrough technology to fix the problem Psychedelics can give people a taste of enlightenment, but they can also be misused and cause psychological damage Psychedelics should only be used by responsible people who are already doing self-actualization work and understand that psychedelics do not lead to enlightenment on their own It is important to have a well-prepared mind and to not get lost in the delusions and phenomena that can come with psychedelics

Enlightenment Guided Inquiry - The Neti Neti Method https://youtu.be/Oq4NDMNDzSs Introduction to enlightenment guided inquiry using the neti neti method from Advaita Vedanta Neti neti means "not this, not that" and is a process of elimination towards enlightenment This method is not for those new to the concept of enlightenment, but can be effective for those who are clueless about it The goal of enlightenment is to discover one's true self Most people think they already know who they are, but there is often ignorance about this and a lack of consideration for the possibility of being something other than what is already believed The purpose of this exercise is to create the possibility of being something other than what has been believed the entire life This requires an openness that most people cannot stomach The goal is to have a direct experience of one's true nature, not to change beliefs It is important to understand that the words being used do not have a connection to the experience itself The goal is to use the words as a springboard for the direct experience It is important to relax and let go of the ego, as the ego is the barrier to enlightenment The ego is the idea of being a separate individual It is important to let go of the ego in order to experience the unity of all things The ego is also the source of suffering It is important to let go of attachments and identification with the ego The process of neti neti involves repeating "not this, not that" to eliminate all possibilities of what one is not The goal is to reach a state of pure consciousness or "I am" In this state, there is no ego and no separation It is a state of pure bliss and unity with all things This can be a difficult process, but it is worth it for the benefits of enlightenment. The speaker asks the listener to close their eyes and notice the darkness that appears The speaker then asks the listener to open their eyes and observe the colors and shapes that appear The speaker then asks the listener to close their eyes again and notice that the colors and shapes have changed The speaker points out that sight, or visual experience, is constantly changing and therefore cannot be what the listener fundamentally is The speaker then asks the listener to consider if they are a sound, but points out that sounds also constantly change and therefore cannot be what the listener fundamentally is The speaker then asks the listener to consider if they are a taste, but points out that taste also constantly changes and therefore cannot be what the listener fundamentally is The speaker then asks the listener to consider if they are a smell, but points out that smell also constantly changes and therefore cannot be what the listener fundamentally is The speaker then asks the listener to consider if they are a touch or sensation, but points out that touch and sensation also constantly change and therefore cannot be what the listener fundamentally is The speaker concludes that the listener cannot be any of these senses or experiences, and asks the listener to consider what they are if not these things. The "I thought" is not constantly active, so it cannot be the "self" The "body" is a combination of feelings and thoughts and is not constantly active, so it cannot be the "self" The "intuition" is a feeling or thought and is not constantly active, so it cannot be the "self" The "perceiver" or "source self" is not an experience and cannot be found through examination The self is not a body, mind, brain, neurons, feeling, intuition, thought, or experience The self is a question mark and the true nature of the self is unknown The speaker has completed a guided visualization and is now discussing the potential outcomes One outcome is that the listener had a direct experience of nothingness This experience is rare and may take a lot of work to achieve Most people's minds are too closed to have this experience If the listener had a direct experience of nothingness, it may be scary but is ultimately positive If the listener did not have this experience, they should keep questioning their assumptions about reality and locate themselves in space The speaker claims that this practice is profound and can be done repeatedly to eventually "discover empirically that you are nothing" The speaker encourages the listener to be open-minded and continue this practice until they have a breakthrough The speaker's theory is not just a personal belief, but something that can be empirically proven through this practice The speaker encourages the listener to share their experiences and continue exploring the nature of reality

Meditation On Steroids - How To Get The FASTEST Meditation Gains https://youtu.be/cub6kY0oHZc Meditation technique called Strong Determination Sitting can supercharge existing meditation practice Technique learned from Zen master Shinzen Young, who studied various spiritual traditions Zen tradition is a proponent of Strong Determination Sitting Western cultures generally ignorant about capabilities of human mind and consciousness Example of meditation endurance in Marathon Monks of Mount Hiei in Japan Vow of celibacy and isolation for 12 years 100-day cycle each year where they walk or run 30-60 km in one day in straw sandals, while meditating towards enlightenment and not eating, drinking, resting, or sleeping Some years require 200 days of this, equivalent to running one marathon 100 times in a row or a double marathon Strong Determination Sitting involves focusing on a single object for an extended period of time Can be any object, such as a candle flame or a mantra Focusing on object helps train the mind to be more resilient and able to handle stress Can start with just a few minutes and gradually increase the time Key is to not get too attached to the object or the meditation itself, but rather to use it as a tool to cultivate mindfulness and acceptance Can also use Strong Determination Sitting in combination with other meditation techniques, such as Vipassana or Loving-Kindness meditation Goal of meditation is to merge with reality and attain levels of happiness and bliss not normally experienced by ordinary humans Western worldview may not accept this idea Happiness can be achieved through discipline and training, such as practicing meditation and living the monk lifestyle Western methods of seeking happiness, such as accumulating wealth or pursuing pleasure, may not be effective People who cannot sit still and be happy for an hour may be in a poor psychological state and unable to find lasting happiness Meditative techniques, such as Vipassana, can help cultivate mindfulness, acceptance, and a sense of oneness with the present moment This can lead to greater happiness and well-being in daily life It is important to have a strong foundation in meditation before attempting more advanced techniques, such as merging with reality Building this foundation involves regular practice and patience, as well as addressing any emotional or psychological issues that may arise during meditation Enlightenment involves the ability to be fully present in the moment without resistance and to have a complete experience of reality without a self Degrees of Enlightenment and mindfulness exist, and can be developed through dedicated practice over a long period of time Advanced practitioners can perform feats such as sitting through a root canal without novocain or sitting for extended periods of time without motion These feats involve being able to tolerate and even find pleasure in pain and suffering by reducing resistance to 0 Strong Determination Sitting technique involves sitting through physical pains and discomforts in order to have a breakthrough moment where suffering is released Western notions of pain and suffering may not accurately reflect how they actually function To be truly happy, it is necessary to be able to tolerate and accept pain and suffering, rather than constantly trying to avoid them

My Enlightenment Experience - Exactly How It Happened https://youtu.be/QOsUx9a3UoU Leo from Actualized.org talks about his enlightenment experience after a 10-day silent meditation retreat First enlightenment experience was "murky" and hard to distinguish from a hallucination This second experience was different, as he was completely awake, alert, and without hallucinations Leo wants to share the step-by-step process he went through to generate the experience He was at a retreat in Virginia, surrounded by beautiful natural scenery He was meditating by himself near a chapel on a rainy, cloudy day He had been using the "looking process" and self-inquiry techniques from his other enlightenment videos He became aware of a "still, small voice" in his mind that was separate from his thoughts He began to focus on the voice and let go of his thoughts He experienced a "complete surrender" and a sense of surrendering to a higher power He experienced a feeling of "unconditional love" and a connection to all living things He felt a sense of "oneness" and connectedness with the universe He experienced a feeling of "eternal peace" and "infinite stillness" He felt a sense of "unconditional happiness" and "infinite joy" He realized that this experience was not a temporary state, but something he could access anytime He thinks this process can help others with their own self-inquiry and enlightenment journey. The speaker is asking themselves where they are and what aspect of their experience they are The speaker is trying to generate an honest answer, not necessarily a correct one The speaker believes they are not their body, mind, thoughts, or a physical entity The speaker tries to pin down their answer and determines that they are an amalgamation of their body, mind, and sensations, but also the perceiver of all of these things The speaker realizes that this "I" is just a belief and their identification with their body and sensations may be arbitrary and influenced by social conditioning The speaker becomes aware of the interconnectedness of all things and their own infinite nature The speaker reflects on the idea that consciousness may be the fundamental building block of reality The speaker concludes by reminding the listener to stay present and not get caught up in thoughts or labels. The speaker had a realization about the nature of thoughts while doing self-inquiry work Each thought is just a phenomenon, and has no inherent meaning or significance beyond its phenomenal nature The speaker's sense of self and thought stream shifted, feeling more present and aware The speaker experienced a feeling of bliss and joy in this state of heightened awareness The speaker wonders if this experience was enlightenment, but suspects it may have just been a peak experience The speaker spends the next 30-60 minutes in a state of heightened awareness, noticing the beauty of their surroundings The speaker believes that enlightenment is a process that involves facing difficult challenges and doubts The speaker wants to show that they are working through their own doubts and struggles, and that enlightenment is not a magical solution to all problems The speaker takes a direct approach in their style of personal development, but wants to give a behind-the-scenes look at how the process works The speaker's goal is to share ideas and encourage people to try them out and see if they work for them, rather than providing scientific evidence or convincing people to believe in them Personal development is a difficult and often messy process, but it is worthwhile to struggle through it The speaker does not claim to have all the answers or a one-size-fits-all solution, and encourages people to experiment and find what works for them

There is no way to separate truth from the welfare of all, since the revelation of truth reveals that we are the world, the world is us. The whole universe is contained within you. That is not just transcendent truth; it is also experienced as boundless love and compassion. What I’m getting at here is our spiritual motivation. Love for all is an aspect of our true being. If we do not access this, we remain essentially self-centered. Wisdom without love can be callous and harsh. Truth and love are simply two sides of the same coin—they cannot be separated. I have met many people who have had a partial awakening. They realize some profound truth, but their heart is still essentially closed. They are half awake, and therefore essentially self-centered. This same phenomenon can happen when someone awakens to boundless love but not deep wisdom. Either way, it is like hopping around on one leg. I think it both wise and natural to include all beings within our spiritual motivations, as well as our more personal motivations. Of course we can build more spiritual-appearing egos around the identity of being selfless and a servant of the good—such identities are as unreal as any other. Nonetheless, an altruistic attitude (without the accompanying ego identity) is conducive to realization and a benefit for all. Spirituality is, of course, about much more than having moments of sacredness when in supportive and non-challenging environments, as nice and as enriching as these moments can be. The “goal” (if I may use such a word) of spirituality is to be realized, clear, and fearless enough to meet and respond to the tremendous challenges of life from a revolutionary perspective. Someone like Jesus had far from an easy life. It was not a life predominately defined by resting in the bliss of being, but of engaging with the sorrows of life from a revolutionary standpoint of wisdom, love, and fearlessness. Being rooted in what he called the kingdom, or the enlightened view, was not for him an end in itself, but rather an inner condition from which to engage with the challenges of life. To embody any degree of realization requires us to uncover and expose those remaining mental and emotional fixations that inhibit the spontaneous movement of wisdom and love within our lives. For most, this is no small task. It all starts by taking full responsibility for our own inner and outer lives, and noticing the ways in which our own fear, judgment, resentment, and confusion cloud our ability to respond to the challenges of life in a wise and appropriate way. It has been my observation that many people involved in spirituality are waiting for some great spiritual experience to make everything in their lives clear and solve all of their problems for them. This is a bit of an overstatement but not all that uncommon to varying degrees. Instead of trying to remain in a state of stillness, or peace, or any other state when dealing with the challenges of life, we are better served by seeking to act and respond with wisdom, clarity, and openheartedness. I suppose that the most direct answer to your question is to go deeper and investigate the causes of fear, anger, jealousy, and control within yourself. Then you will find it more obvious how to respond to these qualities when dealing with others. There is simply no other option than to uproot the causes of human suffering within ourselves if we are to manifest the incredible potential for wisdom and love that lie at the core of our being. You are the world, the world is you. Now let’s all act on it. And by doing so, we become more and more clear, more wise, and more loving. It is not always easy, but it is the only thing worth doing. And it’s up to each of us to do it. Excerpted from Adya’s book, Sacred Inquiry

I'm ruminating, with some rum, reading Rumi poems till I'm drunk in my divine bliss, wonder why this thread is still passive aggressive even today, mumbling to myself 'Why hate myself for my own self referential thoughts I'm having?'. Contemplating, all this and that hating, in contempt of tempting wickedness, the temperature of this rose rose up, tempting explaining why templating this is too complicated.

Bliss I accidentally let slip earlier this month that I'm in blissful states quite frequently or almost always. Let me explain. I'm hit with states of oneness and Beauty, such is my default. Such is my gifting. However, I have many drawbacks and issues, and challenges. God chooses the silent. The 'dumb'. The meek and the small. Maybe to not spread ignorance, to keep the jewel hidden. God values keeping it all hidden and secret. When I 'grow up' in density, God decides the secret needs to be let loose. I can amplify my gifting through meditation and by inviting the presence of God. "Start by welcoming Him and thank Him for coming to you and bringing all that He is and has. Acknowledge and enjoy His presence" . "Keep It Secret. Keep It Safe." - Gandalf. JRR Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings You can see this reflected in Lord of the Rings. A powerful object- the Ring (Spirit, the sun, love) is given to an underestimated being so as to keep it hidden. This ring holds great power so 'God' gives the task and the ring to the smallest of creatures. Only he can be the one to keep the ring hidden. The Ring and the rings of power have run havoc in the hands of more powerful beings and so Frodo is maybe destroying with his pure heart the ignorance and corruption the ring has caused/is causing. Masculine and hating The masculine sword of truth can easily fall into the territory of hating if the individual integrating the masculine is not careful. It's recommended that you come from a meditative place. Some forms of criticism can be constructive even if they may seem like hating on the surface. Just as some forms of compliments can be constructive and shouldn't be necessarily relegated as ego-boosting if the complimenter feels the conviction to do so. Generally, the masculine will occur alongside internal and external backlash. Hating is an obvious and often subtle attempt to put someone down and make someone uncomfortable, such as calling someone low IQ or low social calibration. The discomfort from utilizing the masculine can result in hating. Hating is often dismissed as Ti or as some bastardized version of the masculine when actually it is anything but. It is NOT 'Ti', it is just pathetic. I think, generally, truly the need for the masculine sword of truth is rare. But to ignore its usefulness entirely is too much as well. Compliments When your heart opens and your mind finds a deep calm then you will find it in you to find the True Compliment Born out of True Love. To be in gratitude is one of the highest states; to be in gratitude to a person and to bare your soul, if only for a moment. When you know the conviction to speak something beautiful and kind and the constructive nature of baring your soul, the impact that simple act can have despite adversity. Like plucking off the spikes on a rose bush the feminine can soften inevitable energetic 'upsets'. Pretty excuses Recently I've been misbehaving and doing all kinds of stupid, low-consciousness stuff. I've gone back to one or two places in development. I want to move forward and evolve. I think that certain users on here were super toxic to my system. But what does that say about my system if it's so shaken up and easily fallen back a few stages in development just by a few silly certain users on here? Not much. Plus I can't really blame anyone but myself. 100% responsibility. Popularity The masculine is decidedly popular. The popular girl is the feminine leading with the masculine. She makes her energy attractive and desirable by pulling away, making herself scarce, indicating high value. That pulling away causes a need for a rejoining. The feminine offers herself up freely, is transparent and you'll see her make moves on the chessboard of life that don't seem obviously in her favour, in the short term. She does not create a pull away that requires a rejoining. She is apparently an ugly duckling until she learns to integrate her masculine and knows her value. She doesn't play the masculine game at her own expense. Talk There is talk of Being and then there is BEING. Those who walk the path, who recognize BEING when they hear her. I'll be honest I rarely see BEING on this forum or even in spiritual circles. It's all intellectual masturbation, there still lacks a grasping. Probably Leo is the only one I've seen who kinda gets it, which is probably why I need to defer to him a little more and stop my criticism as much. I'm just skeptical of his methodologies. I think God gifts people spiritual gifts for a reason and saying DMT can trump God's decision-making seems wrong to me. Outer manifestations of how 'good' you are or how well you talk the spiritual talk or how many followers you have, are rarely relevant but can be a correlation. Divine order vs Compassion Faith vs Will There is a divine order to the universe. God gifts certain spiritual gifts for a reason. And yet to not help others and have compassion for others would be a mistake. God holds you in the palm of his hand and his order is divine. All is well, whatever you choose. But you still need to have compassion. Others need to search out the gifts, such is the masculine. Such is will. You cannot rely solely on faith, the feminine. This is where DMT and weed etc. come in. . Exactly. Functionality is not something to aspire to as much as non-functionality is. There holds a place in this universe for the small and meek or adolescent or non-functional or non-powerful. Happiness and nirvana are often given to the unlikeliest of creatures. Divine order. . Honestly, what is the point of spirituality and spiral dynamics and all this talk of a 'bigger picture' if no one can get this basic premise? That the meek and the small are not necessarily less evolved and less enlightened in the greater scheme of things. When you step outside your own ego and your own maps and science, the significance of others' value in the greater scheme of things becomes clearer. The world is more nuanced than boxes of 'functional' and 'non-functional'. Many of the supposed 'non-functional' have something to offer and are functional in the greater picture. But they are silent about it. How can they speak on something so complex, how can they champion themselves when they have so many struggles? This is a serious problem. The functional are loud. They have no problems championing themselves and so their point of view is the majority rule and very attractive for an ego to unconsciously adopt their perspective. I think people like Carl Jung were trying to use theory to understand and booster 'the meek and the small'. Perceivers, specifically INFPs, frequent the mental health system quite regularly and don't quite fit into our ESTJ society. I remember reading a quote somewhere where Carl Jung said the introverted perceiver's strength and organization lies in his internal world rather than the external. INFPs are most likely to 'ruminate', self-reference, and commit suicide of all types I think and yet people like Jung and Tolkien went out of their way to understand them and their strengths assuming them to be equals in their society that can so easily demonize and pathologize them. Conflict Putting yourself in conflict situations causes a pull away. Especially if you remain taut or rigid or self-contained. Low neuroticism in conflict situations (low agreeableness) is the integration of masculine. Popularity occurs when you pull away and then spring forward. If you only ever pull away then it just causes frustration, although you will be more desirable. A feminine who naturally springs forward and trains herself to pull herself back and remain self-contained is powerful. Pain The pain you encounter during the pull away in conflict situations will subside and you'll be left with the fruits if you don't mess it up by being neurotic before the pain subsides and spring forward undoing the pull away. Still, even then, there will usually be fruits if you can get your neuroticism under control. Low agreeableness or conflict comes with fruits. Fruits such as the need to rejoin, charisma, charm, and attractiveness. That's why assertiveness training and meditation practice are both great things for the feminine to include in her self-development. She has to put herself in conflict situations and lower her neuroticism. "Conflict situations" just means mild low agreeableness and mild forms of conflict. Nothing extreme is necessary. My mentor taught me the art of subtly. Make yourself uncomfortable and embrace criticism. Come from a non-neurotic place, a non-volatile place. Meditate. Speak from a place of stillness and embrace division and conflict but lead with the feminine (unity). To demonize division would be attachment. Meditation Meditation is stepping out of your own way. The flower naturally blossoms left to its own devices, when you step out of its way and lower neuroticism as a result of meditation. You are beautiful when you step out of your own way. The cork floats to the surface. It is your default to blossom left to your own devices. The Method I picked up this method many years ago during a mystical experience. It served me well. Letting go and satisfaction are on the same frequency. Find a satisfying feeling in the body, then practice do nothing meditation. They feed into each other. Where there is satisfaction there is a letting go. Where there is a letting go, there is satisfaction. It's easier to find a satisfying feeling in the body and then practice doing nothing, than to practice do nothing and then feeling the satisfaction. Tap into the potential held within the satisfying feeling. The satisfying feelings in the body will grow, along with the mind's letting go. Your body will glow with satisfaction. It doesn't only have to be a bodily sensation. It can be anything. Beautiful energies, the breath (particularly out breath), sexual energy, reality itself (advanced), etc. Satisfaction draws more satisfaction. Even larger forms of satisfaction. Bodily sensation is one of the most potent ways. Can be difficult to access though. In terms of access, here's what I do (in order): 1. Satisfaction from reality itself (access point) 2. Satisfaction from bodily sensation. If I can't reach bodily sensation then the breath or sexual energy. 3. Satisfaction from beautiful energies. . How to write this without sounding arrogant or proud while dispersing possible misunderstandings? What I mean by "BEING" is a very high level of consciousness. It is not necessarily all mental masturbation when people write of their experiences and insights. I recognize when people are speaking in the absolute. I'm sure others have a high level of consciousness and are writing of their own experiences of that. The only time I 'meet' someone with my level of consciousness is when it's reflected back to me in visions and dreams. From that perspective and in my experience and knowing, I have a very high level of consciousness as baseline. Although I still realize that I have quite a bit more integration work to do regarding the divine masculine and divine marriage, as well as growth in the relative or human sphere of concern.

@Holykael I find the Holykael partition of God to be rather refreshing. Straightforward and to the point, no bs, although a little negative, but I can get on board with hating on existence as it does suck 90% of the time. I really hope Leo is right about being able to bathe in infinite bliss once this life is over. If infinite love doesn't exist that's got to be the cruelest joke ever. Maybe you can have it but it gets old really quick, maybe existence is that terrible. I'm at the point where the best part of my day is bedtime. At least God can forget it's God, but that's where all the suffering takes place. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

@Holly Jean Thank you so much for taking the time and responding to my question. Firstly, with the fading away of awakening "experience", there was the pursuit to get it back (it still exists but not as powerful as it did before). What has replaced this drive is the question "what if there was no second awakening experience", leading to alignment and working with the understanding derived from the awakening. Secondly, there are distractions when I sit down to deconstruct my conditioned beliefs and assumptions. Common distractions being swaying away from the process and later realizing that the deconstruction was botched by mental chatter or jumping from one subject to another. Thirdly, I do not have the recognition of emptiness, nothingness, and infinity. What I am working with is the recognition of love, oneness, and bliss. If you would ask me what is reality made of, I would say without a doubt, love. And when there is talk of reality being empty or nothing, it doesn't compute due to the lack of reference experience. So my question is, is it wise to pursue more awakenings, which I don't know how to even go after? Or, work with what I know and live from this space and understanding. But choosing the second path brings the danger or "selfing", which is the activity of separate self arising when I am not aware.

thx for the high-quality response... maybe you also misunderstand my points, mostly because i put them in a way in which it is probable that you understand me the way that you understand me... my radical open-mindedness has led me to believing everything witch is also false... this can go also in dark ways (where i did not go)but for example, lets just try pedophilia, heroin or whatever comes and goes... as you said: of trying to rationalize them into a coherent idea with some explanatory power... and then happens imagination and dogma and delusion... proof is relative, somehow you prove one thing with other things... the relation of A to B, and A to C proves A... if i sleep, other people still live... nondualist somehow say that this is not true... if you cut your arm off, you don't have your arm on your body anymore... should we now take drugs, or go into deep philosophy to discredit that proven statement about your arm that fits into basic logic, truth and common sense philosophy... and say a thing like there is no arm, no you, and if you deeply meditate you can grow it back, and all prove that that is not true are false because there are no proves... you see where this goes... to all the so-called non dual and drug experiences I can say that they are true, and profound and that they show something about the nature of something, but what about what, we as humans dont have the capacity to know it all and to explain the deepest truth and laws of an absolute existence... so your IQ can be 140 (smart guy), but it is not even close to 9999999999999x999999999, and you complete knowledge is less then 0,0000001 of the existing knowledge on earth, not to start comparing it to the universe... so what truly can you GET from observing your experiences or trips... my experinces and openmind is so open that i can question the same critice that opend it in the first place... so I trip or listen to ,,gurus" wow wow wow, so deep, I listend again, yes, yes yes, wiat WRRRROOOOONNNNGGGG, youre just imagining or gessing or shouting arbitrary ideas that fall from your (smart) head, its not like YOU KNOW or that it can be proven in any (relative) credibile style of proving... and what I test your ideas or statements with everything (modest) that i got, with all my mind, knowledge or whatever, they fall those test, whil some other ideas or statement they pass all the tests or critices that I can possibly try so i belive them, I say they are true or proven (with always an open mind that everything could be wrong) so if i cut my arm maybe tho new arms will grow insted if i take 8meoaya... Again all those questions... why cant I feel you if we are all one, if we are all one, how that i can only feel my shit and not one more shit of other persons... i should at least be able to feel/experience 100 or a million humans if not all of existence... Why i dont experience anything when I sleep, im in coma, dead or before I was born? why most gurus charge and make money, and take drugs ond somehow fuck up their lives? Why non duality leads to expositional more searching and suffering that never ends? you see how leo is drifting... he is not a person who got it, who is so happy peacfull, who does not search, who emits love, who makes wonders and soo on... just an everexpeding deeper never ending searcher with more and more task complexity and so on... why does morality go down in this path, and sins get relativized... Why does the truth can only bee attined with tricky methods (drugs, meditating and so on) and why is it not always obvious (so its a mind state attained with touching special parts of the brain) when you see the wall, the wall is there... when you get that 2+2 is 4... it not that you tomorrow can not get or see it... but a non dual realization is an induced experience, and later you make just ideas of it without any prove or test that those ides should be capable of passing... non dual reasoning can be applied to any experience... there is only sound, everything is sound (if you would have only that sense)... i think our brain has a basic receptor for every input... when you sort out every input and start to feel the same blank receptor than you get to the nondual experience... it can be blank or filled with incredible inputs that again show your pure awareness as it its... later you dogmatize that all is that, as you cold do with all is sight, sound or whatever... So i Dont belive you can in any way prove to me that you and are the same consciousness, or being or mind or the same nothing or whatever... while I belive you every word of the things you have experienced, but I dont belive you your conclusions or ideas about what they are if you can not in any way prove them to me or to most of the human understanding (if you can put it simply you don't get it-Einstein) while I or the whole human comunity can in many ways disprove all of non dual theories claims or ideas... Again if you take aya, and say i talked to another entity... i can say that is your hallucinations or that is true, there are multiple dimensions and maybe the human brain can be modeled with drugs to directly experience it... telepathy is also posible, when mobile phones can connect, why not electromagnetic brains... so i'm open-minded... but when you say i meditated and felt like nothing, i say I belive... then comes dogmatic reasoning... so I'm nothing ... NOOOO, thats your idea and interpretation of your experince but not your truth... btw. the ego is so relative, one kick in the brain and there is no person any more... you can experience your deletion, and get an existence crisis or bliss... who knows... I wold like to know what we truly are, where we go, where we came from, why all of this is and so on... I thought non duality was the answer for long time, but it literary does not give answers... when it gets tough it says stop asking, thinking, meditate, take drugs, there is no you, empty your brain, fuc k asking, thinking, logic... this is the truth because I say so, and if you dont get it you're just on a low-level consciousness... it relative, all is relative... cut of your arm!!! there is no arm. Its always there, but it never even was there... so cut it of or don't. here is more those are examples of the forums i put with even more and more questioning, Leo answered and others,,, ant their answers fit the style in which i elaborated now to you... so basically they come to a dead and get dogmatic or asking me just to stop ,,asking"

Infinity, relative, absolute, dissolution, attachment, structures..etc I am open minded to what you say but from here all those just seems words and words. I might be wrong, but in my experience, I fell into the trap of "just one more trip". The mind construct complex stories with the complex headspace psychedelics have. I don't understand what you guys actually want to achieve. I know it well: actual experience from within, if I m either experiencing Love, Bliss, Joy, etc or I'm experiencing boredom, anxiety or insatisfaction, that's what all that matters for me, and actually what matters for all of you guys even those some might say "oh I value understanding more than anything". One of the reason I become very skeptical of Leo these last years is that even though supposedly he had achieve this high levels of consciousness and realization, I didn't see any actual significant changes in his behaviour. Of course I don't live with him, I can't judge it 100% right, but it's clear to me from his posts that he just lives in a normie state of consciousness like most people, with *thoughts and *ideas of being awake, and when you ask him about this he justifies this by saying that "you only can be in high states if you have Sadghuru',s genetics".

I guess you refer to the fact that its definitely very smart to imagine such a thing as a Leo Gura talking about solipsism and being God, so then when you accept the Truth of yourself, you can see how all of those of the videos you imagined helped you in slowly letting in your mind the possibility that you were alone ? It makes sense, but at the same time, it also smells of ego-refined delusion. If enough psychedelic trips and spiritual experiences have taught me anything is that it's so easy to get deluded thinking you "got it" when it fact, its just another mind story. Even in psychedelic peak highest times, the peak its the peak and the bliss is the bliss precisely because there is "no one" in my mind saying "hey, I got it! I am alone! I am God! This is so good! Oh my god its so beautiful!" Usually when those words and "conclusions" start to pop up, then the atmosphere it's not anymore blissful, free, and light as it was when there were silence and no conclusions.

I assume you mean being a state in which there is nothing and just THIS, where there was a computer a second ago, but now is nothing. Using my mind right now not being in that state I can say that there were still sights and sensations, but I know they were't really there and it didn't feel like anything being in that state, other then bliss, but that's also a description added now, not coming from that state. But that would be a pretty passive type of state. There are more active states like this spiritually dull one where I am also creative and talkative and eager to read your posts. I think that Leo's argument is that THIS can reconfigure into such state where it's both very clearly THIS, but also active and from this superior "position" make an absolute judgement about itself being God. And other insights. They are not stated by dull Leo character, they are made by THIS itself, while THIS is absolutely itself. I stay open to this not having experienced it ever, the same as I stay open to your ideas.

Hi everyone. I wanted to write a bit about my own meditative practice, which I call Shakti Meditation. In case you weren’t aware, Shakti is the Sanskrit term for the divine feminine, in a cosmic sense, as well as locally, where it is known as Kundalini Shakti. This power is known under different names in various cultures. Shekinah in Judaism, Sekina in Islam, Sophia in Gnostic Christianity, Holy Spirit in Christianity, Dzogchen in Tibetan Buddhism and so on. Shakti is often conceptualised as a goddess, though that is only one of her many aspects and forms. When active in the human body, she will often take the form of a serpentine energy that rises from the base of the spine and coils around it in a spiralling fashion. We know this as the caduceus and is the symbol of modern medicine, representing both healing and wisdom as well as self-knowledge. Another name for this serpentine power is Kundalini. I’ve had a Kundalini awakening breakthrough more than a decade ago, though even before that, I started integrating Shakti into my daily meditative practice. When working with her, surrender to and trusting in a higher power is key. Being the anima of the human psyche, she is responsible for regulating autonomous bodily functions and she is essentially what keeps us alive without us even noticing, being responsible for the vast majority of our bodily and cognitive functions. We generally hardly even notice her working in the background and keeping us alive, but Shakti Meditation allows us to reconnect with our deepest psyche and become aware and conscious of the work she does for us every second of the day. Shakti Meditation starts with observing autonomous bodily functions, subtle, gross, psychic, astral, emotional and so on, from a detached, higher perspective. It’s about recognising the nature of the Self as the observer, rather than the doer. In Shakti meditation, the Self does not do, only Shakti does. The Self is in silence, resting in equanimity and lack of attachment to objects in the causal world, whatever form they may take. In this state, thought ceases, mind chatter dies down, there is only the observer being aware of its detachment from what at this point seem like the bodily and mental functions of an outside entity. The Self is satisfied with resting in itself and recognises the fundamental alienness of what it normally thinks of as himself. Looking at this person from the vantage point of the absolute, he sees the weirdness and unfamiliarity of the body-mind complex which clings to an extremely limited identity and existence in a narrow range of frequency within the range of infinite possibility. Thus the body, and its identity, its ego or ahamkara, looks comical in its crudeness and inflated sense of self-importance. There is humour in observing oneself from the outside and the Self may laugh at the absurdity of the situation and the preening and posturing of the ahamkara, which imagines itself to be separate and all-important, when it is but a self-created delusion. As the Self observes that body-mind complex, it will become aware of the subtle processes occurring within, which it may not have been conscious of before pointing its awareness to this object from a new point of view. Aware that it is both the observer and the observed, at the same time, it will become conscious of goings-on within this vibrational matrix that might have hitherto escaped its attention. The Self will notice strange activity in the subtle body, in the form of pranic phenomena, which is life energy moving about the chakras and nadis. Additionally, in the deepest meditation, it will become aware of the working of Shakti which has remained hidden to its awareness up to that point. It will see Shakti both as an extension of itself, as well as an outside entity with independent will and action. As the Self observes Shakti as himself, an aspect of his own awareness, Shakti will come out to dance and play. This is different for each person and can take various forms. In my own process, Shakti is gentle and kind, even playful. She causes waves of bliss in me and extremely pleasurable physical sensations, along with feelings of love, joy and oneness. Although Shakti is generally active in me throughout the day, it is during meditation, times of relaxation, rest and contemplation that she makes her presence particularly felt. Whenever I settle down into a relaxed state, she will immediately activate in the form of a highly pleasant sensation of heat and light at the base of the spine. From here, she will start wriggling her way upwards in a playful, pulsating manner. The sensation of Shakti moving upwards can best be compared to spiritual plasma. It is warm liquid light, which is very soothing, a bit like switching the seat heater on in your car during a cold winter night. As the flow of Shakti becomes stronger, energy centres, chakras activate all over the body, including the feet and hands. The spinning of chakras can often be felt, which is an odd sensation at first, but one soon gets used to it. Apart from spinning, some chakras may also buzz or vibrate, giving off a sensation of electromagnetic activity. Heat and pressure may also be felt at particular chakras during the process as Shakti activates and animates them. In Shakti Meditation, she assumes ever more control of the physical body and mind, whilst the Self remains a detached observer. The Self surrenders control and Shakti assumes control of certain faculties, such as breathing and posture. This is similar to how she acts during our sleep, when we are not in conscious control of our bodies. As she moves upward along the spine and takes over each energy centre and nerve cluster one by one, there may be involuntary movements, even spontaneous yoga postures, which are known as kriyas. For some people these can be quite intense, though in my case they tend to be rather gentle and controlled, as well as temporary. As soon as the flow of Shakti is smooth, obstacles and blocks are cleared, kriyas cease, the flow of Shakti through the Shakti Nadis (especially the Sushumna) becomes unimpeded and strong, like a rushing stream of warm liquid light. As she reaches the third eye region and the top of the head, a reverse flow also occurs, which is more like a slow descent of divine grace, a more masculine energy. This too is plasma-like and appears to enter the brain at the Brahmarendra, at the bulb of the head. This nectar is a viscous, honey-like substance which drips slowly from a higher realm into the brain, causing exquisite pleasure which is felt in the scalp, from where it dribbles down in slow motion. This nectar, also known as Soma, Amrita or Ambrosia, is responsible for illumination and apart from great bliss, it also confers wisdom and insight. At this point, the body-mind, including the Kundalini mechanism operating within it, is a mere instrument for the production of Nectar, which allows the individual Jiva or Soul to reach ever higher levels of illumination. When fully immersed in the act of what I call “the drinking of Soma” some peculiar psychic effects, known as siddhis, may spontaneously manifest. In this higher conscious state, the Jiva feels one with the Universe and recognises its fundamental unity with Brahman. Resting in this state feels like a homecoming, like returning to our natural, fundamental state of consciousness. Whilst the Self rests in itself, Shakti continues her work within the body, clearing blockages and other assorted energetic muck, including burning away karma that has accumulated in the Jiva over many lifetimes and also by just living in the world and encountering the stresses and conflicts of daily life. Simultaneously, the Kundalini mechanism works to generate Soma/Amrita which is distributed all over the body by the chakric system. The objective, apparently, is to slowly build a light-body, which is initially activated when the Kundalini power first pierces the crown. When this happens, it creates a crack in the Hiranyagarbha or cosmic egg, causing the yolk or nectar to slowly dribble down. The dripping of nectar is somewhat continuous thereafter, but it becomes much stronger during Shakti Meditation, when the Kundalini mechanism is allowed to fully express itself in the subtle body and churn Soma. This process is allegorically described in the famous Churning of the Milk Ocean myth, with different devas and asuras representing upper and lower chakras. This light-body is needed as a vehicle for the Jiva to be able to achieve Maha-Samadhi upon death, it carries the soul to the highest realms, like Brahma-Loka and beyond, so that it may attain liberation and return to rest in the highest Brahman.

I have had one Awakening into no-self. It's so profound. There is no higher joy that I have ever experienced. You are drowning in Bliss. It's like all of you has been just clothes and you finally strip them. Nothing in your experience changes but everything changes. This not at all like what I have experienced from meditation and I have done retreats. It's way way more radical, I have never seen Sam Harris describing something that awe-inspiring but I haven't consumed much of his content.

What Ramana is talking about is no-Self, with a capital S. This is legitimately the Self (i.e. atman, consciousness) falling away. I see other people like Lorn Hoff and David Buckland refer to this as Brahman. Believe their teacher was Maharishi Mahesh. No-Self, or Brahman, is prior to consciousness. This is called the Great Awakening in the Vedas, but not often written about. Scriptures only go up to the Self. This state is not empty in the sense of empty space. It is pure no-thingness, yet it is completely whole and full. It is also incredibly dry (i.e. lacking bliss) if your nervous system isn’t primed for it. No-self is the first level of self-realization that the little self, or the ego, is not who you are. My experience was that in self-realization, I still saw the world as an illusion. That created a subtle duality. When then I realized myself and the world were collapsed into one unity, I still had an egoic sense of “I am the world.” That sense of I is completely obliterated in no-Self. I mean… it’s incredibly dry since there is nothing here. That is what Ramana is talking about.

There are degrees to the no-self insight. Even if you get it, at first it would be pretty worldview-shattering but only for a few moments and you quickly get used to it. You find nothing special about it because it changes nothing, you still suffer, it's just been recontextualized. But overtime the no-self insight gets pretty profound. It starts changing your emotion and even your body as you embody it more and more. Every deeper awakening into just the no-self is as worldview shattering as the last. I don't understand much about God realization so I can't say anything about that. But as far as the first few no-self awakenings go, they are a very foundational building block for going further, even though they seem like nothing special at first. Try having some awakenings using Love and integrating that with no-self and see what happens. You can access bliss just through intensifying you awareness of universal Love, but it's bringing in the no-self insight, that really takes that bliss to the next level.

@lxlichael s a task, would you mind brainstorming for me all of your difficulties from as many angles as you can? I find it difficult to concentrate on a single thing for a long period of time. (Such as more then 5 minutes) before I start day dreaming or thinking of something else that’s most likely unrelated I tend to get bored quite easily and when I do I start to cry - literal tears would come out of my eyes due to the boredom. I’ve also been dozing off during some of the teams meetings due to them being quite boring but only when the camera is off. I have poor attention to detail, poor spelling and grammar. I did however notice in my previous role I created attention to detail for specific things which a lot of my peers commented on. I don’t tend to perform well under pressure in work related and personal situations. I have to do a task a few times, make all the mistakes imaginable and then get comfortable doing it competently. Even before I started this new role. I occasionally had conversations with myself about if I really want to go though the emotional and mental labour of improving myself which is something I’m still struggling with now. I really do feel like doing this current role is too much effort and most self improvement requires too much from me in terms of emotional and mental labour. My diet is piss poor and I know it. It mainly consists of highly processed junk food and lack of water. I can’t seem to bring myself to start eating healthy. My mums cooking isn’t too healthy either as she uses lots of oils and loathe amounts of butters. I’ve lost motivation to exercise I haven’t been to a gym in over 8 months now. In the past when the pain of being stuck got too much to bear I found motivation to start going gym, meal prepping, learning about investing, however that didn’t last long I couldn’t convert the motivation to long lasting discipline. Ive read a lot of the books from Leo’s book list and did the life purpose course but I’ve pretty much forgotten all of it and didn’t really find my life purpose at the end of it. I don’t know if I should try it again. I couldn’t even keep up with a simple meditation habit which I feel like would have benefited me alot. I feel like the walls are slowly caving in on me and it’s only a matter of time before a major life challenge cripples me. I long for that feeling of oblivious euphoria I experienced as a child whenever I would look up at the bright blue sky on a sunny day and smell the fresh green grass and run around without a care in the world. Were every day felt like an adventure and not a mindless grind. During my teenage years I had thoughts of suicide however never acted upon them or did any self harm. I experience bullying and always felt like an outcast and because of this I never really tried to fit in and just keep myself out of site. A lot of the suicidal thoughts was due to feeling like an outcast, me thinking girls don’t like me even though I never really asked any out and not doing too well academically due to my procrastination issue which has gotten worse overtime and also due to my lack of comprehension skills and weak memory. I also tend to think of suicide in a somewhat logical way - as in what is waiting for me on the other side if anything. I would love to achieve a state of bliss were I can go about my daily life without it stressing me out but I don’t know if that would be possible. My Brian just feels really foggy and I just can’t think of the right words to say and I can literally feel my brain numbing when trying to remember something. I spend most of my day scrolling TikTok and YouTube I don’t even play games anymore. I brain is literally rotting away but I still can’t break this cycle. My average screen time is something like 9 hours a day. I’m scared of confrontation and try my best to avoid it even to my own detriment. I feel like a lot of narcissists types can sniff that out of me but I do try my best to avoid such type of people and limit my contact with them. brainstorming all of your life positives from personal strengths to things you enjoy about life that have in the past brought a sense of purpose to you or that you think could bring a sense of purpose? I use to enjoy playing games but I don’t find them enjoyable anymore unless I’m playing some old ones with my friend I was good at my old job and like to think I provided good customer service and kept calm and sincere even if the customer was being rude. I liked learning about the stock market and investing but it’s something I have lost passion for after I ended up losing some money on a trade that I went all in on and haven’t been able to motivate myself to get back into it. I genuinely don’t know what my life purpose could be. I can’t really think of anything apart from investing that has made me get somewhat excited I’ve managed to save up money enough for a house deposit and I may potentially get a mortgage in the next 12 months. However I have started spending a little but more regularly than I should be and have built up some credit card debt. I have a GF who I’ve been with for just under a year. We are doing a long distance relationship however I do go see her every other month as she life a 4 hour drive away. She knows of a lot of my problems and is very supportive. Ideally I would like to start my own business one day however I don’t know if I would be capable of running it especially in my current state I think this should answer both questions however if you feel I need more detail or missed something please let me know and I will try to add more relevant information. Thank you for your assistance

1Survival instinct- Basic instinct to want to live 2 Creativity instinct - Is to create something exciting, full of passion, full of enthusiasm, desire, hope 3Liberation instinct - Want to be liberated from suffering, pain, disturbance 4 Achievement instinct - Wanting to do something that feels awesome, gives satisfaction, promotes growth and progress, success, it's a very important feeling, it gives a feeling of completion 5 Beauty instinct - Wanting things to be joyful, radiant, beautiful, complete, eternal, immortal like building the pyramids 6Romantic instinct - Wanting a connection, intimacy, a partner and a feeling of being loved, treasured, belonged. 7Healing instinct Wanting to be healed from past troubles, trauma, hurt, pain, wanting to feel okay, wanting to recover from setbacks, wanting to start again, wanting to feel space and peace in order to recover, wanting to get better and plump again. 8Fear instinct -The fight versus flight response. A response that alerts us to danger and wanting to huddle to a place of safety 9Protective instinct Wanting to treasure or protect something very valuable like a friend, a pet, a child or an important picture or a gift or a work of art. Even protecting basic resources like food 10Harmony instinct Wanting to create harmony with your environment and surroundings, with nature, wanting to blend in with everything, wanting harmony with the unique and universe, wanting the feeling of creating a home within this environment and feeling at home with your environment. You want that community feeling. A lot of people join organizations to have this feeling. A lot of people join religion 11Balance instinct Wanting to sustain balance between everything that we do like health, relationships, work, passions, time etc. 12Purpose instinct This is an extension of the self. You want to do something for the world, you want to contribute to your community or the world at large. Noble instinct. 13 growth instinct You want to develop yourself, explore, learn, expand and grow. You want to feel that you are progressing not just surviving 14 Transcending instinct You want to outgrow whatever you are currently learning or dealing. You want to evolve to your next phase and development in life 15 Transformation instinct This is also a part of self evolution. Sometimes you want to radically transform yourself, your life, shed all past baggage and turn over to a new leaf. Clean the slate, start afresh. 16 fulfilling instinct This is about your needs, wants, desires, from the utmost basic to advanced and higher needs. You want these needs to be fulfilled as much as possible to leave room for other things like spiritual stuff. Most people waste their lives in fulfilling needs because our social system constantly deprives us of our needs and makes us into a hamster running on the wheel chasing our needs. Like a dog chasing its tail, we're never free to think about other things. When needs are not fulfilled whether it's something like survival, food, security, sexual, love, bonding, financial, health, we become deficient and miserable and can hardly focus on anything else, we become too stunted and lost, deprived and confused, trapped and in constant search of something. And very frustrated. This is the single biggest reason for everyone failing to achieve anything else. This instinct is sorely left ignored. This side needs to be compulsory fulfilled in order to get other instincts properly sorted out. This is the most important instinct as far as survival is concerned. Without this there is no spirituality and you're in limbo. This is a major bridge. If you're on this bridge you'll forever stay on this bridge. You are stuck. If you fulfill most of your needs, that's where you get the golden chance to cross the bridge. And a chance to achieve your higher growth. Until then everything is a pipe dream and nothing else will matter and nothing will even make sense or meaning. You wouldn't even want to pursue spirituality. You will half ass everything and live forever dissatisfied, much of your spirituality will feel like an unhappy vacation where you're just pretending to smile. If you want something of substance and really want everything to count on your future travels into eternity, then this instinct has to be compulsorily fulfilled. 17 Vibe instinct There's a certain vibe you want as your guide. Everything carries a vibe. Even the stuff you eat. You want always the right vibe to motivate and stimulate your inner energy. You don't like vibes that don't suit your character, personality or style. You want a morning vibe in the morning. A pleasant vibe when you are working and a snuggly vibe when you are with your special one. 18 fuel instinct You need fuel to motivate and stimulate yourself. Any energy, emotion, vibe can serve as a fuel. Anything that gets you going and motivates you is a fuel, even a prayer. God can be your fuel. Masculine and feminine energies can be your fuel. God's energy can be your fuel. This is the most important instinct. It's like a breakfast. You must have it before your main meal. It's your starter kit sort of. Your launch for the day. Your energy. Your fuel. Your must have travel kit. It's your energy bottle. Without it you're just languishing through the forest with a map in hand but no energy to walk. 19 Karma instinct This instinct exists like a conscience. It tells us right from wrong and guides us to good karma, shields us from bad karma 20 Companionship instinct We all need friends. Someone we can share things with at the campfire. Someone who listens and understands and offers warm company on cold nights. 21 Communication expression instinct This is important. We all have needs for communication whether you are introvert or extrovert. Your communication is your main method of expression. 22 Regulation instinct After doing what we can, we want to regulate our life cycle to see how it's all going. We want to spot flaws, resolve issues, solve problems, get back the rhythm. Get things back on track. But for that we must regulate our daily goings on. 23 Reflection instinct In order to solve a crisis, we need time to reflect on what should be done. Going back to the drawing board. Reassessing. Analyzing. Studying? Wanting some insight, some answer. Taking a break and Reflecting. 24 Wisdom instinct This instinct is best used when you gather wisdom and implement it 25 Courage instinct. You need courage to push a breakthrough in life or else you are stuck. One courageous move will change everything. Take that leap of faith. 26 Innocent instinct You'll reach this stage or instinct after death. Here you're set free from all fears, attachments, worries, needs etc. Here your spirit is like a child again, innocent and pure. You are finally yourself. No fabrication. The living version of this is the "authentic instinct." 27 Spiritual instinct I don't know how to describe this instinct. This is where I'm puzzled. I think spiritual instinct is like a process. Imagine a computer slowly generating your identity, all your personality traits being typed out line by line on each cursor prompt. That's how this is going to look like except for this is going to be your spiritual identity. This will consist of your deepest desires, your unfinished business, your general vibe in your ghost state, these are your spiritual signatures unique to you like a DNA. They will define you spiritually, they will constitute your spiritual identity. This instinct will carry a strong Subconscious energy. 28 Communion instinct I think just like material existence comes with an expiry date/death, your existence as a ghost will have it's own unique expiry date. After your spiritual existence has expired, your journey in the afterlife is over and you will slowly come to the end of a tunnel. This tunnel is dark. It's your spiritual tunnel and it's your gateway to the next realm. Once you come to the end of the tunnel, you will turn into a ball of bright light. Bright ball of energy like the Sun. You'll come out of the tunnel and escape as a ball of bright light. Your spirit has been converted into energy. This ball will then merge with a much larger ball of energy that looks like a big sun. This is God. You're entering communion. The ball disappears as it merges into this large ball. It's the end. While turning into a ball your spirit experiences extreme bliss and fiery energy and peace. Restless souls will take even centuries to turn into a ball. Or they might just never make it.

Fear makes you tense up. Contraction litirally cuts you off from your true self. Ego is a contraction on the energetic level. Ego has 2 levels - mind and body. Eventially, when you surrender 100% on the mind level and body - your body and mind become one and you live in Unity with all of life. Oneness. On the body/mind levels the mechanism of surrender or letting go is exactly the same - it's a relaxation. And you relax by letting go of your will. Which means you do NOTHING. Zero doing from your side, not even meditation, no yoga, nothing. Then, the highest form of meditation manifests itself in you automatically. If you're doing well and your kundalini is active - you might experience Kriyas. Spontaeus body movements. Continue doing nothing. Finally, they will manifest as a beutiful dance. Not everyone experiences those, though. Liberation on the energetic level is simply raising your Kundalini to your brain, when Sahasrara opens it's pettals and the ocean of Bliss washes over you permanently. Your intellect gets inmeshed into the fabric and structure of reality. You think Infinitely, you feel Infintely, there is an Infinity of time (eternity), everything looks Infinitely Beutiful. You can literraly construct whatever you want. It's never human pleasures. It's like 100x better than that. It's Infiinite Love. It just means Total Awakening. Enlightenment. Leo's video of Poetic Description of God realisation is not Poetic at all. It's literally how it is there. It's just that it's an extremely high level, so no one knows about it. At the highest level it's not just Bliss. It's much more than that. The only word I find for those states is Glory. Anyway.. I think only 1 in a 1000 teachers are in their final lifetime. Until you understand that you must eradicate guilt by knowing it is not there AND when you raise your kundalini you're done. Byebye dreams of seperation, welcome Infinite Potential. Leo visits Infinity and knows what it's like there. Its fucking insane. It's like being the Supreme Lord. Words can't describe it. But the closest symbol I found for those states is a drawing AI made by my query. Attached img. The actual viauals are of hyperbolic geometry mixed in with life. This world and that world mix into one. For some time you can leave this world in total - just chill in infinite beuty eithout specific form - just an infinite mandala. Note - you can be seeing infinite mandalas and still be dumb af. You really reach Enlightenment when you know the Truth and your are a total genius. 1 in 7 billion I mean. Because there can only be 1. Anyway.. Read Jan Esmann's books on Kundalini and start raising it and mix that with total surrender, which just means doing nothing at all - complete 0 use of your will. Also, read the Dissapearence of The Universe trilogy and all other books by the author with Pursah and Arten (forgot their names) - it's one of the only books in the world that are better than what is in Leo's book list. It's a must-read if you want to wake up. It will save you lifetimes. Especially if you do ACIM and raise your Kundalini. Of course, do DMT or other mindblowing psychadelics. They save lifetimes as well. That's the prescription for awakening, if you read all Leo's books, listen to all videos and do shitloads of meditation. Anyway.. Just rambling..

I've been confronting so much fear lately. I've been noticing how it is running my life. Examples of how I was scared in the last few days: In social situations: how I'm afraid of offending someone or causing disruption I was scared and worried because I was procrastinating on some quite important things Big one: I'm most likely going on a student exchange programme for the next semester. Living in a foreign country without anyone familiar nearby, on the other side of the continent. A lot of fears associated with this exchange thing. Soooo much I have to get done. And it's just scary, it's going to be my first time living on my own. Man. But I'm happy it's happening. Long story short I damaged my front tooth two weeks ago. The dentist fixed it for me but it's no longer straight and it literally cannot be anymore. I've always had straight teeth. Now I don't. It hurts. Fear of embarassment, smallness. Insecurity. Anxiety. My mom and sister tell me they can't even see it but I do. I can overcome this fear when I notice it, notice the thoughts and remind myself that this isn't me. I am not from this world, yet I am all of this world. Oh, btw, I had a profound completely sober awakening this week. Deeper than the ones I had on psychedelics. So it's not that I'm convincing myself intellectually that this is not me. Well, anyways, that's not the topic right now. I've been thinking and I'm coming to the conclusion that the IT industry is not for me. I've been studying CS for 2 and a half years already, my parents have been paying for it. But now for the first time in 3 years I harnessed the courage to think about this and notice that I'm NOT about this computer science bullshit. I want to do something humanistic, related to writing somehow. I'm seriously considering becoming a comic, writer. I came up with a life purpose which feels authentic to me. To convey spiritual truths through comedy. Not to brag but I think I have a cool sense of humor, especially like spontaneous responses, people really enjoy my jokes, stories and all. I already have ideas for what I would make shows about. Ok I'm getting off track again. I'm obviously scared of disappointing my parents. Also, they've been paying for my education and I'm finishing it soon. So what, it all just goes to waste? I'm not blaming myself because I think that going into computer science was the best choice I could have made with what I knew about myself at the time. I'm proud of that decision. But now I discovered more about myself and I feel like I can't do this shit. But are my parents gonna understand it? Fear. Fear of not-knowing. Today I confronted it after long contemplation on some matters and at some point I thought: how about I accept that I don't know? Could I accept that I will never know this? Would I accept a life like this? I was scared, but also I enjoyed the thrill of sitting in this not-knowing with fear trying to encompass me. Nodding my head in a social situation when someone is saying something. An unconscious reaction stemming from fear of being cast off from my group of peers. Also I want others to nod their heads when I'm saying something. Credit to Vernon Howard for making me conscious of this, and many other things. I see myself doing this. Now that my front teeth is weaker I literally fear biting my lips and fingers which I've been doing for so long. Maybe it's for the better, lol. My lips and hands don't look so good. Maybe I will stop now. I'm quite nervous. I'm only just learning to seriously notice fear in the moment and let go. I wanna cry right now. I've been noticing and overcoming so much fear with the light of consciousness. Am I getting weak now again? HAHAHAHA. I'm trying to notice it. Lol btw, this year I must have cried like 70-100 times. AAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Fucking fear hahahahaha!!! I love Spotify wrapped so much. Did you get yours? Mine brought back so many feelings and memories. My music taste was so good this year I love myself for it HAHAHAHAHAHAHA About this awakening I mentioned. It was amazing. For a second, I was immersed in a divine ocean of blissful peace and love. I was kissed on the forehead by sweet love and bliss itself. All sober, for fucks sake! My belief that meditation cannot compare to psychedelics has been shattered. I did it with my consciousness, on my fucking own! I remember it. I was contemplating what I am and I encountered much fear but I was able to see through these empty thoughts and let go into this pureness, infinity that I am. Psychedelics awakenings are undoubtedly cool, but here I kind of awakened manually and it was so satisfying and to be honest more beautiful and deeper than awakenings I've had so far. I recognized myself as Existence and realized there is nothing 'other' from me. I am Existence! And this universe is all a dream, it's fucking empty, it's just me. Reality is not real. It's all just me. Again, I am not from this world and yet this world is all that is and all that I am. I am Reality, I am the Source. I was a hidden treasure and I wanted to be known, so I created the world. Words can't describe Me. I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. This image goes hard. That's how I often feel now when I look at things. Gosh it's all just so much. HAHAHAHAHA. The Freedom. If I overcome fear, I CAN DO ANYTHING! This is what life is all about!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA What are You waiting for? Do You want to be a puppet on strings your whole life?

Does anyone remember what video or blog post that Leo references Satcitananda in? I remember him referring to its as the holy trinity of Truth, Consciousness, Love (rather than the more traditional interpretations of Truth, Consciousness, Bliss) but I can’t remember where exactly I heard this. I’m specifically interested in the rational of his usage of the word love rather than the word bliss or happiness. Thanks!