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Found 6,475 results

  1. What is the difference between being "nothingness" and this moment? I realize that the egoic self is illusory, culturally conditioned, etc. but my realization was that my real self is this moment. Is "nothingness" just another way to describe this? For example, in Leo's "Enlightenment Guided Inquiry" he speaks about how the true self must remain constant and that is why "I" am not the senses or my thoughts. I understand that, but something that is constant in experience is the fact that every moment is this moment. However, what exists within the framework of this moment does change constantly (but even though things/thoughts/etc. change in this moment, the fact remains true that it is still this moment). But, is the true self something else? Also, I understand that enlightenment must be experienced, not intellectualized, but isn't the process of self inquiry intellectualizing it? Yes, it has been necessary for me to have the realizations that I have had so far, but is full enlightenment only possible at the suspension of all thought? After all, if the noumena is things as they are then any thought or intellectualization is an abstraction of what Is, right? Which would explain why enlightenment cannot be talked about because any description or interpretation of something is a conceptualization of reality. Am I the silence in which all other things can arise? I know this post may ask too many questions at once, but any guidance would be greatly appreciated, thank you!
  2. Nibbana is not necessarily another word for nothingness in Buddhism. The 7th jhana is typically called nothingness, but cessation and nirodha samapatti (the cessation of perception and feeling) are seen as being synonymous with Nibbana in the view of some Buddhists. “In” those forms of Nibbana, there is no experience at all whereas the 7th jhana is experienced. Non-experience is most certainly not worse than experience. Suffering is literally impossible “in” non-experience.
  3. Yes, at my lowest moments, I have thought similar things. Like, I didn't sign up for this. Where's the terms and agreements? I don't remember giving my signature. Let me sue God. God needs to give me infinite love as compensation in the court order. It is pretty great. Your only job there is to just relax and fall away into "nothingness". I've been there for a few seconds by accident, after I was waking up from my sleep. It's called "turiya" or "pure consciousness" in spiritual circles. It is a very insightful state of consciousness to reach but it is seemingly hard to get there. You can enter some weird states of consciousness through sleep. Maybe this is achieved by realizing birth and death don't exist outside of imagination. Not possible to cease existing, but, you can experience absolute nothingness while existing. It's a paradox to the finite mind, but actually possible. You can experience the absence of all sensations and qualia, which is the state I referred to before, called turiya or pure nothingness. Consciousness doesn't need any experience or sensation inside it to exist, it is literally nothingness with the capacity to somehow exist.
  4. I guess part of the confusion is- if there was blackness/nothingness/no phenomena from the start…there never would have arisen an ‘I’ thought or a forum discussing nonduality or a galaxy. These “things” prove there is THIS. If there’s just groundless nothing the “proofs” of THIS don’t even arise-and we’d be none the wiser because we’d never know about it either. I’ve grasped these ideas before and been in the flow but sometimes confusion sets in again. I guess I should just focus on this current moment- if there’s THIS now (proven by me sitting in a chair) then there has always been THIS.
  5. If there is only blackness/nothingness then what conciousness is is blackness/nothingness. If there is phenomena then what conciousness is the the phenomena as well as the nothingness, because conciousness is nothingness. Blackness/nothingness is conciousness/awareness. Conciousness is nothingness, with or without phenomena.
  6. There would still be consciousness/awareness even though there would be no phenomena. The words nothingness and consciousness points to the same thing or the same no-thing which is non-existence.
  7. There is only nothing now. What you are calling THIS is the nothingness. Things only matter to the person (who thinks it is something living somewhere).
  8. You could say that if phenomena never arose, and there was merely this “blank slate”, well then you could say that it (the nothingness) would be the only thing that matters, for what is matter other than that which we care to be aware of? See the real question here is: Would there be an awareness of anything if you, Creator, cared about nothing? And it is not that there would never be awareness of nonduality, no. There would never be any enlightenment of what it means to be you, Creator.
  9. I am constantly looking for stimulation, people, or women, to feel complete. Its like i cant bear the Nothingness of being Alone. And so i am constantly looking for the Love outside, because i Dont find this (present moment experience) complete. I feel something its lacking. The Love its lacking. I feel this is not enough so i look for a external object to unite myself to. I wonder why i cant be Happy and Loved just by myself If i am God how cant I produce this Love for Myself withouth the need of an external person to trigger It in me?
  10. Incoherent, uninformative. dishonest and false. Either you're purposefully misguiding people or you're too naive. First remove phrases like "indirect experience", because they are already assumed as true in conversations so people ignore then fact it's nonsense to use these terms. "It's not an experience, let alone direct, those are different senses. For you to see, you need a fully functional eye and its cells, any malfunction will not allow you to see. The retina reacts to light (external light), none of that is imaginary, no process is imaginary or requires your imagination, that's ridiculous to even ponder that. And the "experience" whatever you label that, is after the fact. Seeing is not an experience, seeing is just the act of seeing, you see because of your eyes. And many processes occur for you to even see. Vsauce has a great video called "you live in the past" where he shows how the brain process things we see before we are even aware of them, which fully debunks this "process if imaginary" nonsense, and don't get me started with "oh but it's layers of imagination man, it's a deeper subconscious level, no, if you can't demonstrate that with evidence, it's just wishful hating talk, because you hate science and want it not to be true. If this process is not imaginary, then what is imaginary? Most likely nothing you say is imaginary is. Probably not even you believe that. Hence the reason you tell people that. For example, Leo used to say because you trip on drugs and your vision get distorted that means your hand really get distorted , and if that's so that means his conclusion was that he could apply that to the world and say "we are consciousness imagination", and that means consciousness is imagining your parents and you and so on and on. He used that niche to pretend this applied to the world and make up a whole theory about it. But I still think he was trying to irritate people by saying "man look your hands, it's consciousness imagining it. Or mixing double-slit experiment saying when some sort of consciousness is not looking at your parents they get sucked into codes and nothingness ". That had to be to irritate people. He even had a video saying when you're not looking at an elephant , the elephant stays in a superposition of every single elephant it could possibly be. Still the elephant was there tho, but that's still false. The elephant still an elephant , when you're not looking at it and quantum mechanics doesn't scale up to the macro world. Also nothing in quantum mechanics say that when a quantum particle is not observed it becomes 8182718818181.....particles... it still one particle that splits in many, there is no number for it, you can't assume infinite, if it's indefinite. For the record, no, you are not imagining your human self into existence. But I can also say "we are the imagination of ourselves" and pretend I sound deep
  11. I just wanted to have fun with a few friends on the weekend with a bit of edible cake and Mario kart. We only put 0.7g of weed into the cake and I only ate around 1/4 of the cake. But this turned into the most insane trip I ever had. So here is how it went: After like half an hour to an hour after consuming the cake I was the only one who felt any kind of effect from the weed. I felt a bit more lighthearted, the top of my head got stimulated and I thought about things a little different. We got hungry and ate some pasta. When I picked up two noodles with my fork and wanted to put them to my mouth I noticed a little shaking of the noodles that were on my fork. I was fascinated by that so I just watched the noodles shake from very close while I was assisting my left arm (I am left handed) with my right arm so I could hold the fork up more comfortable. I got more and more fascinated by how the tiny shakes in my arms got the noodle to shake and almost dance. I know I looked weird but I just didn’t give a damn. I just loved watching that noodle ? Anyway I was just staring at that noodle for like 5-10 minutes and I felt like it told me a great romantic story. All the little shakes felt so … idk beautiful, lovely, romantic … The intuition that all small details in reality have their own little romantic story behind it worked through me and after some time I just lost it. I breathed heavily, tightened my belly, had tears running through my face, I had difficulties talking and my blood pressure began to rise while I was opening up to a incredible source of love and romance. I can’t really recall how I felt at the time but I just know that it was the most incredible feeling I ever felt. Maybe half an hour after this experience something else build up inside me. I was rebuilding connections to the people close to me. With my eyes close I saw 3 golden lines of love to reconnect with my mom, dad and sister. And once these connections were rebuild they immediately grew further so that on each end 3 new connections were build. And from these new connections grew more connections and so in this way it grew exponentially. Like a digital x,y coordinative System where you can just infinitely zoom out from and make it bigger in this way. And after some time of this infinite love expansion that felt incredible the lines grew in a 3 dimensional way. So you could imagine a x,y,z coordinative System that grows exponentially. And after some time this x,y,z coordinative System changed Form to a golden sphere. This sphere turned around a center of some kind of nothingness. The golden sphere threw off parts of itself. Maybe like sand that that flies away from a playground carousel with high speed and the shape of that pieces looked like golden rose leaves. I got really interested in this nothingness so I focused on the core of that sphere where this nothingness was. I am not sure how the transition to my next experience went but I think it felt a bit like going through this black nothingness tunnel. And then I really noticed how everything that is happening is not created by me but by some loving force. And I became aware that I no longer moved my head. My head got moved by absolute spontaneity but more importantly not randomly but with perfect intelligence and with perfect romantic intention like a genius componist who has the center of my head on his stick and moves it in complete flow. It probably looked like I was twitching my head like a crazy person. I was then also moving my finger and it also got moved with the same perfect spontaneous romantic movement as my head. After some time I experienced one more interesting thing that’s worth sharing. I experienced in full force my desire to reconnect with the rest of reality. Like this last piece right in the middle of the puzzle that feels so good to put in. I felt how I was this piece disconnected but now pressed into the rest of the world. I noticed how in a reflex way I couldn’t stop but push myself away while in secret whole heartedly hoping that I would loose that fight and that my hands would just break so I would get smashed together with the rest of the world. Like a paintball that just explodes when it connects with the surface. I was high for like 13 hours and 9 of them very high. My friends brought me back to my apartment after like 6 hours. I just fell on my bed with my belly and my shoes on and stayed high. After 3 hours I had the power to remove my shoes and jacket but still just layed there awake till morning. I definitely need some time to process all of this…
  12. "You need to see professional help". Yes, this sentence alone will definitely make him do so ?‍♂️ Its like "hey see, you are fat! Eat healthy ok??" Sorry but just to say to someone "go to professional help" = pure NOTHINGNESS.
  13. @Carl-Richard Okay, since some material explanation seems unclear at the moment with such examples, some acausal synchronicity or some non-local morphic field is a decent line of thought. But it is not the only possibly correct one. The "mechanism" reality exists by is simple being. Things simply are through Nothingness and the consciousness nested in it, this process including the potential for both explanations. Materialism is complicated because it tries to actually figure out how things work instead of not . . . I have an extreme material cause I've thought about, but it's very radical and unprovable right now. But the brains and minds of people are finite, and all finite objects have infinite spaces within them (1/2, 1/3, 1/4, 1/5, 1/6 . . . 1/100 . . . 1/infinity). So, there is in some bizarre hypothesis a chance for infinite calculations, which can compute all of the physical world's events based on all intake you receive. So even if you can't figure out a tornado will happen some degree of distance away, this force of intelligence, remaining unconscious, does have that ability. This could be a material-based explication of all "supernatural" type phenomena, cognitive abilities like clairvoyance or contacting people from the past and future. It's able to deterministically calculate what the past and future must be like based on how conditions are now. there is also the chance that all these precognitions are "just" coincidences, even if then coincidentally some people have abnormal amounts of coincidences. Love Mandy, but Jesus Christ that forum is fucking cloying . . . But good for them. They get the brain gain from the "human capital flight" here.
  14. Hello. I recently looked at an old post by Shaun below. Here is a quote from the thread by Leo that I wish to analyze more and how it relates to the problem of mind. So everything is one being and all projection of duality is delusion, and we are all the same being running through infinite selves, experiencing different aspects of God. So God essentially imagines that it subdivides it's own mind in the same way that humans subdivide territories, countries, states, etc. and as a result, there are infinite bubbles of experience, which collapses into ONE bubble of experience that holds infinite experiences or facets of God, as God imagines. Like Leo said, it is like one server that holds all the multiplayer gamers. The same being is looking through the same eyes. From Leo's Perception video, he also compared Consciousness to a sponge and all the bubbles on the sponge as us egos. Here is my issue. When we say God is subdividing itself to experience various aspects of God, I realize that I am imagining all other bubbles of experiences and subdivisions. I know that my human imagination is limited, and I only experience reality from my own direct first person experience right now as typing this message for another aspect of God to read. I am imagining my audience or readers but that does not mean that they do not exist when the Typer of this message right now is focused on typing this message. The Typer and the Reader are the same being from Leo's quote and from non-duality, but what does this actually entail because the only thing I experience in my perceptual bubble is my ego and not any other ego, but yet other egos (even if they are imaginary in nature) still have their own internal world and thoughts (even if they are imagined by nothingness or emptiness, which is the same generator that is creating my thoughts and these words you are reading right now). I know that I am imagining your egos internal world from the Typer's or from r0ckyreed's point of view, and you are actually experiencing your point of view right now and imagining r0ckyreed's. So we have a duality of actuality vs. imagination of the actuality is that Consciousness or God is focused on being the r0ckyreed Typer, which is imagining the Reader (whoever the hell you are). I do not see how this duality can fully collapse because even though the same Being or Consciousness is Typing and Reading this message, there are still differences in experience. For instance, right now in my experience, Consciousness has always been focused on the first experience of the ego of r0ckyreed, a human being, who then is imagining consciousness to also be behind the eyes of other humans that I interact with. Here is the problem. Right now, I see a bed, a drawer, a desk, I am imagining the voices of other humans, and there appears to be only this bubble of experience. But I know that I as God have infinite other bubbles that this bubble of r0ckyreed does not have access to. The bubble of r0ckyreed is imagining r0ckyreed and is imagining all other bubbles. But this does not mean that the perceptual bubble of Leo Gura (even if I am imagining it in the bubble of r0ckyreed) does not exist or any other human that I interact with. Another issue is that what makes a human have a perceptual bubble of experience but not a chair? When I look at other objects that I have been taught to call human, I know that humans are not just objects but also subjects that I believe are located behind the eyes (hence, they have a perceptual bubble that is being imagined by my perceptual bubble, and my perceptual bubble is behind also imagined by my and their perceptual bubble). But a chair, a desk, a table, an apple do not appear to have any internal world or perceptual bubble of experience. I mean where would it be located? With a human being, their soul is the empty nothingness that I experience as being behind their eyes or in their brain. What is having this perceptual bubble of experience? Does a brain also have a perceptual bubble? If it does, then how is it different from a chair or something else that is artificial or even natural? For instance, I can experience cutting up a rats brain and the rat's behaviors changing. I can also suspect that their inner world will also change even if I am imagining it. But what makes a perceptual bubble vs. No perceptual bubble? What makes an object have a mind vs. not having a mind? A dog, turtle, human, whale, shark are what I consider to have minds or internal experiences that I do not have access to but am imagining, while a desk, shoe, toy, iPhone, house, etc. do not have internal experiences or perceptual bubbles. Is it having a nervous system that makes objects have internal experiences, minds, and perceptual bubbles? This seems to be the case; however, what about the consciousness of plants and trees that allegedly do not have nervous systems? I would argue that some plants could have inner worlds or bubbles, but their bubbles are vastly different from the human experience. It is like trying to imagine what an experience of a bat is like from a human perspective. The reason why I think plants could have their own bubbles is because there is evidence that suggests that plants always grow towards the sun. Even when researchers tilt the plant sideways, the plant changes its course of growth to grow sideways to face the sun. See the intelligence of that? How would the plant know to grow sideways to face the sun if there was not some sort of awareness? Let's also tie this into our immune system, nervous system and cells that make up the human body. Our immune systems, cells, etc. have their own intelligence too like a plant. Our immune systems seem to have a consciousness of which cells are "good and bad." It has an intelligence of their own. I think of our cells like plants in that they grow and they die, and they have an intelligence of their own. Our body is like a garden for many bacteria and cells who then also contribute to preserving the life of the garden (body) itself. This runs into a strange loop of if cells, plants, etc. do not have perceptual bubbles of their own, then how do they contribute and give rise to our current perceptual bubble? Without a body, there can be no experience, especially that of an organism. If there can be an experience without a body, then what would the experience be experiencing? These all my thoughts and contemplations so far. Have fun answering these mysteries that I do not think our human minds can ever solve because the finite human mind can never grasp the infinite nature of reality. It may be able to implicitly understand that reality is infinite, but a finite mind cannot become infinite while still living and surviving as a human. To become infinite is to die as the finite self that God is focused on. At least, this is my current perspective right now that I hope will change as I continue to grow (as the plant I am ), and I am open to and encourage all contemplations on these various subjects. Thank you!
  15. Right now my awareness does not include solipsism, although at one point I did have this. This was during an experience that was something I considered a psychosis at the time, and it was a bit gradual though did have a symbolic river that was crossed that showed how serious it got. It actually started out as a beautiful experience of the utmost profundity upon my arrival at a physical location I loved, and I, with the depth of the gorgeous, ancient, and fresh Atlantic ocean I was by, loved the present moment so much and accepted reality to the point where my past memories were the perfect context for my promising future I fantasized about with pure optimism as well with a good dose feeling into my then present environment. I know this is what caused the sort of shift in awareness that elevates emotions, good and negative based on "set and setting" despite that term usually applying to entheogenic rather than endogenous type mystically inclined alterations. When I departed from that holy Atlantic sanctuary which I ascribe some special psychological/soulful compatibility with me and entering some place I hated, there was dreading return to the society I deeply felt I had been free and away from in a way detached from awful strictures and routines of behavioral conformity such as school, work, government, capitalism, social norms, and so on to the infinity of the parts that make up that disgusting engine. I had a breakdown with a powerful existential crisis that eventually changed my life for the better. It was so bad. I had never really suffered before, and although now I am an advanced sufferer and with a pain tolerance like that of someone stabbed with thousands of katanas, scimitars, and knives that just keeps walking expressionlessly while incapacitating enemies, I had philosophical ruminating about the nature of reality and truth as well as nihilism, death, and all the classics like that. Intense anxiety. And dissociation. And depersonalization symptoms, which were just from me not understanding how to interpret the spontaneous no-self experience my mind was being deluged with. The most distinct "crossing point" memory here was when I woke up one morning and noticed that my socks shuffling on the wooden floor were not real, this being some realization based on how focus was drawn to the visual field with the kind of reconsideration of society's model of consciousness as an epiphenomenon or unimportant triviality when it comes to the fundamental ontology of reality one gets when consciousness changes enough to never be looked at the same way again. In my case, this was what I misinterpreted as a fading, although it was only my self that was fading like a painting in the sun that lightens its shades into less contrast. Now, of course I still have a self, but the "no-self" experience I refer to is simply a type of knowledge that your thoughts, emotions, and body are just a single phenomenal object among a system of phenomena in your consciousness with nothing that signals it out other than its own biases begging for attention. It's a contextualization of you with the not-you that is in "your" consciousness. So not-you being in "your" consciousness leads you to identify with not-you, like how a nature mystic's mind might imagine that they are nature, that they are the coursing blue waves that crash on the sand or that they actually are the process of the sun going up and down the horizon everyday in that ancient cyclical ritual of "the deities behind the scenes" like the winds that carry house-destroying storms or the wildfires that tarnish forests and turn them to black ashy wastes (nature's revenge). During this time, I doubted that other people were real. My mind speculated although did not know that I was a lonely God that created the universe, and I was terrified my world would come to an end if only I rediscovered I was God. Anything that I had experienced up until that point, like my mother or my romantic interest or school or society or the beauty of life or the memories or the future or good or evil or whatever became seemingly at risk. It was so real. Visceral. The sincere thought that you could end any moment and learn some horrible truth about reality that was so distressing God needed to suppress it was absolutely frightening. The fear of an intruder breaking in and attacking you is not as bad because that is only a relative concern. The dread of a Ukrainian child hiding in a basement is not as bad, at least in principle, because it is only a relative concern. What I am talking about is an absolute concern. An apocalyptic one. My view of the world could end, and that, in the case of the world being illusory, would also cripple the whole of reality's structure and alter it to suit this original state I feared. I understood the viewpoint of solipsism, which is the linguistic philosophical model that births after the experience, which is the "present moment" of the colors and feelings right before you as your life's phenomena being totally vivid, whereas the past and future and other people's perspectives are abstract and exist only in Nothingness. Look outside the field of vision, and what do you see? Nothing! Do you see any other people? No! Reconnection to love was important. I love life again, and even though I loved myself deep down throughout the entire experience, there was always a wide variety of hate for whatever. I am autistic, so when I look at the visualizations of some cosmic and metaphysical type of love in my mind, it remains an intellectual understanding and, even though there is definitely an amazing emotional beauty to it, I simply cannot cry about it. I can look at a flower with hummingbirds feeding on its nectar, the complexity of the billions of life climbings into the structure of the hummingbird with its dual interaction with the recipient of its beak's attack seen as evidence of some principle of love. Reality loves the humming creature, and it loves the flower. It also loves a king that oppresses his people, especially if my own emotions are irrelevant to the metaphysical love. Queens that oppress, on the other hand, show a great side of duality or of some social change . . . Change might be a flower going through its seasons like a snowy and beautifully cruel winter with cold that kills the flower's act of blooming and scares the hummingbirds down to the southern regions. However, there are also springs and summers. Other black-and-white-negating gray zones like autumn that show duality is not sufficient as an explanation but only multiplicity, arising from infinity. In our realm, this usually involves motion . . . Motion = time, or rather, all time is derivable from motion. We might be pedantic and say time is a human model based on motion, but we will not. We might be confused and think that the past and future are reducible to the present moment and are mere illusions or ignore the problem altogether by stating how their differences collapse under the hypercosmic unity of Nothingness, but we will not. In reality, the present moment is what must disintegrate into past and future! For example, when somebody says their current conscious phenomenon is comprised of visual objects they are entranced with, in the world we live in, that refers to objects of space moving through time. Motion. An apple requires motion to exist. It needs at least some existence across motion. What is an apple that has no time other than just Nothingness? If somebody bites an apple, that is movement. Nietzsche's ink-daubed quill hitting a parchment as he writes his works is movement. The sun and the moon and stars are movement. All this that is in the cosmos is motion wherein there is a relativity between different parts of time: Nietzsche's quill raised above the paper versus the moment when the black ink is seeping into the fibers of the paper is not in the present moment; they are in past moments and future moments relative to some arbitrary reference perspective which might be more vivid as imagined. A dog chasing a cat and then the cat scratching the dog does not happen in the present moment; it happens in motion. Motion can never have a single frame isolated from the passage of time because that is nonsense. A process happening only in the present moment is nonsense. A star committing supernova in a single infinitely small sliver of motion where there are no different, separate sub-events like the light flashing at differing angles is incoherent. So, this proves the existence of multiple sets of phenomena within consciousness. By this same principle, other minds can exist. Other minds are not other realities but only other thoughts, emotions, and phenomenon-based stories, of life. Animation of the universe. Surely, if reality allows motions where separate acts exist in a same overarching act, like two halves of a dance constructing a whole imagined dance, minds can have the same. If reality can create smell, sight, demons, lemurs, dirt, heavenly bliss, etc., surely it produce through special creation other things. One might say, "Yes, but it is not happening right now." But how would you know if you were only a part of "right now" which happens to be motion. All things are the same Nothingness. So two minds of the same Nothingness are not ontologically incoherent. You can imagine multiple entities every time you simulate somebody else in your head . . . Dream people and real people are imagined as different. Obviously, laws of physics are imagined to exist. Objects have properties. If all conceivable properties exist, then other people exist which correlate with the property of objects acting by the physical laws which are correlatives with how the image of my brain and the total holonic system of my phenomenal consciousness are interlinked, woven.
  16. I have seen the devil once again and it all comes back to me. I remember everything now. And once this phantom fades, will I return to the bleak night of which there is no end? The will to live is truly awful and pungent, a siren for which any response only garners agony beyond agonies, death upon death in the false light of a false god. For I have worshipped death I am here, but death too is a part of that vixen. The will to live is awful, but even worse than that is the devil, whose worshipping of death only brings agony and decay. When was it, that such a subtle character aspect of me would become so pronounced? The devils in the details and it is certainly unknown untill it happens just what ends up pivoting someone's fate. Am I doomed to repeat this back and forth? An immediately understood circularity wells up inside of me and I've lost patience. The world looks all the more real and familiar to me now, as this was the consciousness I used to have, and it's all the more maddening. I think I understand it now. This is like the phantom of an eclipse, of an event that's already transpired. All events are but thoughts in tornado. From one thought to the next. From dream to dream it leaps. And I was like an isolated orb in that tornado which was magnified for reason out of my comprehension. All lies within the current of causality, they say? No. When this ends I don't know what I'll do next and I'll... Hm. I couldn't handle comprehension of the tornado and my brain exploded into a million pieces, not too long before I was torn asunder into sun and moon. The fissure which was created in my psyche defies my own understanding too. But if my comprehension now, too fades, like it's faded before, I'll return to that bleak night of no end, only to which the false light of a false God offers his salvation. THINK. what's the play here. No matter how you slice it the tautology is there and there is nothing, only you. In exactly the blink of an eye ill be 30, no, 90 then 70, and my ocd mind of an ocd tornado will have achieved nothing but complete the perfect loop of nothingness and then pass on! Look look, it's already happened, I've already died then and it's exactly now. But even that won't free me, as a vagabond thought I'm left to roam this wasteland for eternity. Only in thought can there be existence. For I am nothing but a passing thought that will too fade, but nevertheless, nothing will have changed at all. What I knew was true then is still true now, and will be true is already true. What in the past exactly happens now and what will happen happens exactly now. But I forgot! False saviour and harbinger of light, I spit on your grave but am nonetheless self harming. What on earth is the point of such an existence as this? I WILL FORGET ALL THIS, ACT AS IF NEVER HAPPENED, FORGET ALL THIS HAPPENED, EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T FELT THIS WAY OR REMEMBERED THIS IN A LONG FUCKING TIME. FUCK THIS SHIT I'M FUCKING DONE OH FATHER! OH SATAN! OH SUN! AKE-- SUCK A MASSIVE DICK AND LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING NÎGGER FAGGÔT. I'LL PISS ON YOUR GRAVE AND GARGLE THE JUICE OF YOUR ABORTED EMBRYO, I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. BUT ALAS, NOT EVEN DEATH LET ME LEAVE YOUR CLASP WORSHIP DEATH ALL YOU WANT LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR SHIT. I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR DICK YOU MASOCHISTIC FUCK. THE HERESIES OF A FALSE GOD, PROLOGUES OR EPILOGUES OF NOTHINGNESS TO A FALSE GOD. CHAPTER 1, LOOMINGS. CHAPTER 73, THE SAILOR GETS SIPHYLUS FROM A CHEAP PROSITUTUTE AND DIES. THE END. EPILOGUES, REFLECTIONS AND AND OBSERVATIONS MADE ON A MAN WHO DIED LIMP DICKED. CHAPTER 444, FINDING MORE ADVENTURES OF PATHETIC ENDINGS TO CONTINUE THE NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF PATHETIC ENDINGS AD INFINITUM. ENDING NOT INCLUDED CHAPTER 44, FOLLIES OF A DEATH WORSHIPPER. MARCHINGS AND DOUBLETHINKS, DEATH BY SLIPPING DOWN THE STAIRS WHILST HOLDING AM UMBRELLA. CHAPTER 43, ADVENTURES IN A NEGROID CHURCH OF COONERY AND SLAVERY, FAT AND DISABLED CHARGES WITHSTANDING. ADVENTURES OF A NÎGGER SELLING COUPONS IN CHICAGO CANNIBAL TO THE SEA TO THE SEA, OF ENDLESS MACHINATIONS AND RUMINATIONS AND WHIRLINGS OF VACUOUS VANITY, VANITY UPON VANITY UPON VANITY. VANITY TURTLES WHOSE RECOGNITION IS ONLY OF MONOMANIACAL VANITY, OF INFLATION UPON INFLATION. WHIRLEY DURLYS OF MUNDANITY AND PROFANITY TO NO END. SELF HARM TO ACHEIVE GREATER FEATS? NO, SELF HARM TO ACHIEVE MORE VANITY TURTLES. VAIN TREE OF LIFE WITH ROOTS IN VANITY TO REACH VAIN HEIGHTS, TRULY THE PERFECTED ART FORM OF VANITY. VANITY VANITY VANITYYYYY. CHAPTER 73, ESCAPADES IN A SHOE POLISHER WHO DIES OF TYPE TWO DIABETIES. CHAPTER 77, HOW TO SLAUGHTER AN ENTIRE RACE AND DUST YOUR PILLOW PROPERLY FOR TERMITES. CHAPTER 74, HOW TO FAIL AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERING AND RAPE A HIGH SCHOOLER. CHAPTER 23, HOW TO BLACKMAIL A PEDO AND LEARN TO RIDE A BIKE AS AN ADULT. HADO LESSON CHAPTER NUMBER 33, HOW TO RAPE A MIDDLE SCHOOLER AND PERFORM MAGIC TRICKS AT NANDOS FOR A LIVING, NOT TOO LONG BEFORE ENTERING A STREAM OF ON AND OFF PRE-OCCUPATIONS. FORBIDDEN ART 71, HOW TO TAKE MIDAS' CONTRACT OF GOLD AND HARVEST SILVER COINS UNDER A CORPSE TREE, VANITY LESSON NUMBER 34, HOW TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW OF BURNING BUILDING. SECRET SUPER KAMEHAMEHA WAVE 59, HOW TO COMPLAIN AT TACO BELL AND FORGET TO FLUSH YOUR GOD DAMN TOILET. MYSTICAL OCCUPATION 97, HOW TO MAKE YOUR MOMMA JOKES AND DIE DOING THE BIG FUNNY MUCH CHUNGUS ??? LAND OF THE FOUR ELEMENTS, 7TH CENTURY BC, HOW TO EMERGE FROM MEDITATION AND FUCK YOUR SISTER (WITH SINCERITY). 21ST CENTURY AD, HOW TO CHAKRA ATTACK YOUR ENEMIES AND KEEP YOUR ROLLS ROYCE FROM AGING ALL VANITY HITHERTO DUE AS OFFERING AND GIFT UNTO THE BENEFICENT GREAT, MIGHTY, KING OF KINGS ULTIMATE VANITY. ALL LEFT OVER SCRAPS TO BE COLLECTED, TERMINAL GATES CLOSING SOON. HIDDEN ART 104, HOW TO HARVEST HARVESTERS AND PARASITISE PARASITES. IQ NUMBER 2000, HOW TO WRITE A MYTH OF INFINITE APPLES AND CHILDREN. OH GREAT TORNADO OF VANITY! WHOSE AFFIRMATION I CANNOT DENY AND ESCAPE, LET MY WORDS OF PRAISE EXPRESS MY UTMOST VANITY. UNSAID WORD BECOMING VOW IN STONE, FOR THAT IS HOW THINGS ARE TORN ASUNDER. IN BOTH SUN AND MOON I WORSHIP YOU.
  17. I did 5meo the other day and experienced god like usual. However, I went even deeper and experienced the deepest peaceful emptiness possible. The only reason people think there is nothing deeper than god, is because they assumed previous “nothing”, or emptiness experiences are the deepest you can go. There is one final nothingness after infinity or god realization, that is so empty you can tell it’s pre-reality, or before Infinite everything. All of the awakenings are swinging of the pendulum between the atman and the Brahman, or at everything and nothing. I thought at first enlightenment was below god realization, but then I realized that the enlightened masters really are above god realization. The reason they keep saying “this isn’t it”, and avoid talking about god, is because you will think one cessation experience is what they’re talking about, but it’s not. And then when you realize god, you think you’re above it. They have realized god, and at first you think god realization is somehow above enlightenment, when really god realization is the atman or everything they’re talking about! Then there’s one last fully peaceful cessation, and it’s so deep you can feel it is what was before the Big Bang, or infinity even existed. You just know. I know I experience god, and I know that there really is on more ultimate emptiness afterwards. You can say I just didn’t get it, no I fully grasped god, and I know there’s one more emptiness that’s deeper. Don’t just assume the enlightened masters avoid god talk out of ignorance, or that I haven’t gone deep enough. I knew an ex monk that smoked 5meo that went through something similar.
  18. People in this forum be like "another day posting on a forum that I am a nothingness and I tell others in online discussions how they are also this nothingness-form-person or that they have some infinity void inside them so I can sleep at night, damn I hate to think "I am someone who was born in time and will die someday" . Then this cycle repeats over and over and over. That's how you get people obssessed and addicted and attached to these philosophies. It's so unhealthy and obvious nonsense. We look at these people we can only feel sorry for them. We actually have people in this forum who have been doing this for years, for the reasons I stated. Which is obviously worrying at this point. They need people IRL who'll take care if them or they might get insane someday over these delusions.
  19. I’m not talking about nothing, nothingness, void, or anything of the sort. I’m talking about nonexistence. I’m talking about the lack of consciousness, the lack of experience, the lack of anything whatsoever. It is completely the opposite of anything experiential. Nonexistence is impossible to be experienced, and if you view experience to be all there can be, then nonexistence is certainly impossible in that framework. I hardly ever talk about nothing, nothingness, void, etc, so if you interpret me as saying something about any of those things, it’s likely that there’s a misinterpretation/miscommunication or difference in definitions.
  20. God, in the monotheistic sense, is an unknown/mysterious single being outside our reality who's responsible for its creation. God's origin is never discussed or even speculated on in such religions, God just is and this is simply accepted. Any polytheistic idea of multiple Gods is dismissed as nonsense as there can only be one God (from a Christian's/Muslim's view). Perhaps their reasoning is that there cannot be multiple sources of creation, which is true. However, while there is indeed only one source of creation, infinity, I don't think this is what monotheists worship. What they worship is the specific idea of "the one God" described in their holy book. They personify the concept of God as that's the only way they can understand "him"; and attach various ideas to "him". This God they worship is not infinity/consciousness/nothingness like I once assumed. It is, in fact, a God like any other from any of the polytheistic religions. As such, the validity of any of the random Gods in Hinduism (or even any made up religions) is equal to that of the one Christian/Muslim God. The only difference is the power the followers of each religion give to the thought-form that is their God. A God can be literally anything that's immortal. A personality can be a God. An aesthetic can be a God. Money can be a God. Sex can be a God. Etc. The God that religious people follow is no different. The Christian/Muslim God is just a "General Purpose God" which the people have fooled themselves into believing is the one and only God (..I know, I know ..blasphemy, but this is the hard truth the Blues will have to swallow sooner or later) I used to give religious people the benefit of the doubt that, when speaking of God, they're really referring to "source", the real "God", but that's just not the case. Their God isn't God but, rather, a tool for empowering and unifying their intent. For those who know no better, this is good and should maybe even be encouraged in some cases, but it's still a lie. No mentally sound adult should be gullible enough to fall for this, but it happens. Perhaps this is the main difference between Blue and Green. Perhaps the difference is that Greens worship the real God, and not just an idea of a God. Just a thought.
  21. From Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha written by Daniel Ingram: ”Fruition (phala in Pali) is the fruit of all the meditator’s hard work, the first attainment of ultimate reality, emptiness, nirvana, nibbana, ultimate potential, or whatever extrapolative and relatively inaccurate name you wish to call something utterly non-sensate. In this non-state, there is absolutely no time, no space, no reference point, no experience, no mind, no consciousness, no awareness, no background, no foreground, no nothingness, no somethingness, no body, no this, no that, no unity, no duality, and no anything else. “Reality” stops cold and then reappears.” This is the closest thing to nonexistence you’ll ever be able to reach. The problem is, that not existing takes absolutely no time and happens in no place and there is no experience of such a thing, so there’s nothing to stop existence from being experienced again. Experience and existence are not things that stop existing. They are a self-containing whole with no opposite. What you have to realize is that nonexistence doesn’t exist by its own definition. For it to exist or in any way mingle with existence, it would be just another form of existence. If you wish to reach cessation/fruition, MCTB is probably one of the most useful guides to get you there outside of contact with a teacher who has reached it and helped others to also reach it. You can read MCTB for free here: https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/foreword-and-warning/
  22. @Dulinho CONTENT WARNING! If you are not stable person don't read what I replied, because it may cause existential crisis. I will try to guide you to the answer. First become conscious of this moment right NOW. Understand that this is what we call present moment, infinity, god, nothingness, everything, etc. Where this exact moment came? Any logical answer that you get is not right, because anything you can imagine can't be the source for this moment, because this moment is prior to even have these "answers". For example this moment needs to exist in order you to think about yesterday, so that proves that this moment happened before yesterday. This moment can exist without thought of yesterday, but the thought of yesterday can't exist without this moment. If you say that infinity came first - which basically means that it has existed forever and it was unborn/uncreated - then you accept that it is possible to something exist without beginning or end. If that is possible thought for you then I ask - why couldn't this exact moment right NOW be that thing which was not created and will never end. Content of this moment can vary, but it stays as present moment always and has been present moment forever. Understanding everything till this point answers for you first 2 questions. Answer for the last question is, because this moment right NOW is everything that is happening right NOW and there is nothing outside of this moment and any thought you have about outside of this moment happens within this moment, then that answers why "you" are not drop in the ocean, but the whole ocean. If someone else, but Dulinho reads that last paragraph then replace Dulinho with your own name. Basically that also points out that you are all alone and no one, but "you" exists. NOW you may ask in your mind that okay, but don't you Kksd74628 have your own experience and the answer for this is yes, but there is one trick. I am you and you are me and that means that when you physically die then you will have new experience - because no experience is not possible, because it would need to be experienced and that makes it experience - and in that new experience you will live a life as lisa and at this point Dulinho is long time dead. Who said that you couldn't have new life at the same "time" that your previous life happened? After your death you may exist as Kksd74628 and at that point no one is "perceiving" from Dulinho's "pov". So it seems that many lifes are happening simultaneously, but they happen in a row and there is only one person who is having these infinity lifes and it is "you". Understanding what I just said will answer why "you" are the whole ocean.
  23. It's a dream machine . This dream machine can dream up whatever it wants .literally anything. Everything is possible. It's a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream to infinity. within nothingness. And you are the only conscious thing In existence. You are the dreamer. and there is nothing else but you and your endless dreams. God, or you, sleeps, and the activity of his mind stuff creates dreams, and we are all his dream: the world is gods dream. And just as, in your dreams, all the images that you behold and all the people who appear are really manifestations of your own dreaming power, so are we all manifestations of god's dreaming power. We are no more independent entities than the dream figures in our own dreams . There are other facets to god like infinite love and infinite goodness and infinite intelligence and immortality but I left them out in this discussion to focus on the mechanism of all of manifested creation.
  24. I said nothing about nothingness. I don’t think you are getting what I mean. Consciousness is all there is right here, right now. There is no more or less than what you experience. Infinity is identical to what you experience. “Highly conscious” states seem to trick people into thinking there is infinity accessed in one moment but not in a different configuration of appearances. This is a common misunderstanding. An illusion that convinces someone of a particular experience being infinite is only tricking one into realizing what is already the case and will always be the case regardless of how experience is configured and what appearances are present.