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3 phases of Self-transformation: 1. Dis-identification from the Personality through self-observation Through meditation, contemplation, psychedelics, etc. create the inner "space" in which to watch myself, thereby creating a separation between my witnessing consciousness and the habits and patterns that I observe. The higher up I go, the more clearly the patterns are seen. The defenses are loosened and the fear of losing the comfort of a Personality-construct arises. Practice: Questioning my life story. Reading type descriptions, highlighting what clicks and contemplating the universality of those elements. (My life story is not so unique after all) Watching my habit loops (Cue -> Routine -> Reward). Noticing my emotional triggers. Set up hourly chime and log every hour - with honesty and non-judgment. Pointers that I am on the right path: Humility. More aligned with the natural rhythms of body-mind, less attached to my ideas. More Flow, less resistance. 2. Surrendering to the fear and emotional suffering associated with loosening ego defenses As the hold of personality starts loosening, allowing myself to experience the emotional territory underneath my defenses in a conscious way in order to integrate my shadow and move forward in my evolution. By allowing myself to recognize your unconscious patterns and feel the emotions my Personality has helped me avoid, I release considerable energy that I have been (unconsciously) expending to keep my defenses in place. Practice: Being a superconductor of emotions yet being able to detach from them. 'Checking in' on my body with an hourly chime and letting go of any tension consciously. Working through complex memories / emotional triggers by writing them out in detail. Pointers that I am on the right path: Emotional discomfort that turns into wisdom with love and acceptance. Feeling lighter and more alive every passing day. Reduced self-sabotaging behaviors. Alignment of thought, emotion, speech, and action. 3. Actively working towards transcendence and Union Being in a more conscious, integrated state. Develop a greater ability to call on the strategies and strengths of all nature's archetypes instead of just being preoccupied with one way of doing things. Practice: Contemplating the food cycle. Contemplating death. Contemplating Archetypes. Pointers that I am on the right path: Creating more yet being emotionally detached from what I create. Immediate awareness of multiple POVs of looking at a situation and all the actions I can take (including not taking any action at all) instead of automatically doing what I have always done. Sense of inner completeness "wholeness". A sense of connectedness with everyone and everything. A sense of constant expansion.

As a rule, i don't preach self-development for those around me, this is often futile and a waste of time. The best way is to change yourself so much that those who are ready can approach you to ask for advice. It is tough, I must have spent hundreds of hours trying to convert people into self-development and I had almost zero success with this approach. Sometimes, though, i met people randomly and they notice something in me that is inspiration worthy and that moved them into transforming themselves. An example of what i am talking about: once upon a time, i was living in a hostel, i entered the living room, there was some people there, including some guests, i just sat there and talked a bit. One guy noticed that i had a intriguingly calm energy and started to ask me questions, i told him that i was a Hatha yoga teacher and stuff like that, we chatted a little and i left. Days later, he messages me telling me that it was a pleasure meeting me, he loved my energy and because of that meeting, he started to practice Hatha yoga every day, a few weeks later and he was still consistent about it. So, a random guy had a random short interaction with me that motivated him to start a yoga practice, while i have tons of friends and family members that i spent soo many hours trying to inspire them without any success. The moral of the story is: you can't really control, much less change anyone, you can only change and control yourself, and if you do it in a smart way, you will trigger a transformation in those who are ready (most people aren't).

I posted some of Gurdjieff's sayings on his page in High Consciousness Resources. Here are two- Humanity is the earth’s nerve-endings through which planetary vibrations are received for transmission. Conscious love evokes the same in response. Emotional love evokes the opposite. Physical love depends on type and polarity. Faith of consciousness is freedom. Faith of feeling is slavery. Faith of body is stupidity. Hope of consciousness is strength. Hope of feeling is cowardice. Hope of body is disease. Conscious suffering is the medicine to make the Automaton surrender to the Permanent Witness. The Automaton is an instrument. The Permanent Witness has to learn how to use it. This process comes into being with man number four. From http://www.higherbeingbodies.com/a-dialogue-with-ocke.html Witness Consciousness is the same thing as the Permanent Witness. To become the Permanent Witness requires one to see how one changes emotionally every five minutes day after day. The most spiritually asleep will insist the most that they have continuity of Consciousness. If you try to wake them up they most likely will try to project things onto you and/or attempt push your buttons or sometimes mean-mouth you. I'm a little bit awake but not awake enough to try and wake up others and catch all or some of their bullshit. This is all just a way of framing it. The above is not meant to be aimed at anyone.Its just a statement of my understanding which stays in a state of slow transformation. I'm also a bullshiting animal,,, This is not a belief system or an ideology. It's about you working on yourself and making contact with the inner part of your centers. Don't be triggered by my framework of words. See if it applies to you or just disregard and turn away if you wish. That's fine too. Sometimes I'm an unguided projectile. If emotional, an unguided Golum,,, Man #1 Man #2 and man #3 are asleep. Woman is also Man. Man #4 has become balanced and is capable of Witness Consciousness. Man #5 has continuity of Consciousness. I've heard Jesus was Man #7. The Pearl beyond Price is experienced beginning around Man #5 Hameed said- "You can stand totally alone, completely independent of all that comes through the mind, through time and space. This station of realization is difficult and rare. Most of us don’t have the nerve to lose our minds. Although terrifying, it is necessary for true freedom." I like Arnold Keyserling's phrase about "smashing false seriousness with a joke". To me he's describing someone who can be lighthearted the way Hameed Ali Almaas, Maurice Nicoll and Ocke de Boer sometimes are. Nicoll's description of Monkey mind. Nicoll psychological commentaries page 683. Have you got sufficient inner observation? Have you cleared and well dug a big space in your mind through the practice of inner attention and put a hedge round it and a gate so that you can hear the click of the gate and watch this darling little thought coming up the drive all ready to say: “Oh, how tired I am,” etc.? I fancy that once we let it in very far every thought gets hold of us and wrings us, takes our blood, makes us react, talk, behave, in a certain way, and then, satisfied with having dined off us, it retires for a time. Or my two favorites of Ocke's- "This is the difference between us and the angels. Angels are perfectly made and, therefore, naive and stupid; they can only do what they are made for. Humans have many more possibilities. There is more joy in heaven for one perfected human being than for a thousand angels." "If you could float above the earth and become aware of all the negativity that is going on, you would never laugh again. The world is ruled by negative emotions." Since I'm reposting my favorite quotes, here is one that's not funny but very pertinent. “The repetitive motion of finding oneself through Identification (even true and worthy descriptions) keeps the being energy just below the critical velocity needed to escape the gravitational field of narrative selfhood.” - Cynthia Bourgeault

warlock soup. I suppose it's time to give an update. So much has happened in the past month and a half that my life feels like something out of a coming-of-age movie. But I'm assuming that's been the case with everyone. Between COVID, the racial tensions, and the rioting, everything is so surreal, like the distorted reflection on a dewdrop. All the feels are getting boiled into this massive pot of Warlock Soup, where the borders between positive and negative emotions don't even matter anymore. It's all just. Feels. And all we can do is feel. Well, we can also go to the bathroom if we have two functioning legs and can travel to the nearest toilet, but that's besides the point. The point is, I broke up with my girlfriend; two days later, I moved out of the Artist's Den and back in with the parents and brother; one day after that, my brother and I began to formulate plans for another move; I'm starting to gig again. Oh, and I released the album. Perfect timing! (You can check it out here, if you're curious.) The timing of the breakup and the way it happened wasn't the best, but it could have been worse. I think I'll dedicate a separate post to it, because there's a lot to unpack. Long story short — I am so, so incredibly grateful that we were in a relationship; I grew like crazy through all of it; she is an amazing human; I wish her all the best on her journey; and who knows what the future holds. Some major transformation has happened — and yesterday was a huge benchmark for it. My brother brought the XBOX up here. I've been watching him play here and there, but I haven't been playing any of it myself. But yesterday, I decided, what the heck, let's play a few rounds of COD. After a few rounds, my body was nearly having a trauma response. I had the urge to crawl out of my skin. I felt terrible! I literally had to shake my body for a few minutes, take a cold shower, sing, do breathing exercises, eat dates and greens, and even that didn't bring me back to equilibrium. Three hours later, I could finally go to sleep. In the morning, I woke up drowsy with dry eyes — a sign of adrenaline surge. After some celery juice, I finally returned to my equilibrium. I've reached a new level of nervous system relaxation (i.e. level of consciousness, i.e. level of self-love) where I literally cannot do some of the old activities I used to do to cope. They're not really enjoyable for me anymore. I mean, I can't say that I didn't enjoy it completely last night, but the stimulation and the frantic brain state caused me more pain in the long run. I'd much rather be writing songs, or reading a book, or learning something new. This has been the case for other activities too, like eating junk food, spending too much time in front of a screen, or browsing social media. I still have coping mechanisms and relapses, but I'm slowly changing my life one step at a time so I can hopefully reach a point where I won't need any of them anymore. And in the meantime, I won't beat myself up for using coping mechanisms. Having this level of self-compassion has made life a lot more manageable for me. I wish compassion for you, too. It's been a rough few months. Be gentle with yourself. ?

Outrageous Experiments In Consciousness - 30 Awakenings In 30 Days There are infinite variables that influenced the formation of this thing, this door is the start and also the end of the universe. When we look at a door we can think of what was before that door, how this door came here and what will happen in this place where the door is at the moment in 20 years All parts/components are connected to each other but don't necessarily communicate between each other. With higher consciousness these parts communicate with each other more and more and with that comes more knowing of oneself. We can't rely of language, other people and experiences. All desires are biased, we would you want a women instead of a man, why beautiful ones instead of ugly ones...God has only one desire and this is knowing his real self...the majority wants this or that and what they get with want a particular thing is a limited aspect of God and not infinity. the purpose of life, reality is a contest who can love who more, true love is not receiving love, true love is giving love, true love is being love infinity is this, echo of who loves who more, I love you more, no I love you more....to infinity God's love is always bigger than our love, each time we receive God's love it transforms us and reveals blockages. Are you willing to love hate, murder, 9/10, ex girlfriend who cheated on you, your father who abused you, your mother who criticized you all your life and never gave you the love that you deserve, kids in school who bullied you, cristians, atheists, devil worshippers, ... How deep is your love really...God is able to love all of that without any hesitation. But you are not. So, you have to surrender and go true a phase of integration and acceptance. And then bounce that love back to God. This means as you embrace more of who you are and love really deeper, that is your love for God. The hardest thing to love is your own self-hatred, it's all the things that you don't love your self for. The function of love is transformation. Love opens us. When it opens us, love shows us our internal blockades. These are the obstacles that limit out love. Love is forgiving, tolerating and accepting of our devil patters and sins. This kills our ego. And that's what triggers transformation. This is what makes us humble. This is what heals us. Healing is love and truth. If there is anybody that you know that is dysfunctional (even yourself), that is suffering, sick, in need of healing.. it is really fucking simple, what they need is love. If you are addicted to drugs, it's because you lack love. If you get into fights all the time with parents, it's because that relationship lacks love (you lack the love to love them and vice versa). If you're insecure about your looks you lack love. If you are over weight, you lack love. If you have physical health problems you lack love. growing up lack of love manifests The thing that will heal you is giving up all your lies, selfishness...Truth and love is the answer. What you need is love and truth. The acceptance of reality as it is. That is love. when you lack love, you don't radiate love, you are like a black hole sucking in love. God is like a white hole, radiating love all the time. I'm sorry - for not loving more. This is the only thing you should apologize for. This is the only thing you should regret in life. Being selfish instead of loving. for not loving your family, friends enough, people in school enough, I give you love and I want nothing from you. I accept you as you are - i accept the fact that you hate yourself, I accept the fact that you were not strong enough to love, I accept the fact that you are limited and that you are weak, petty, selfish, ignorant and I love it. And I don't need you to change at all. So it's not like God is loving you to trick you into changing yourself to improve yourself. Real love is I love you as you are. And I don't need anything from you. And all those things you think I think you need to change for me, I don't need you to change. I can accept them all, exactly as they are, because that's love. God does no only say he loves you, he demonstrates you and that transforms you. thank you for love you say to God (you truly mean it ) I love you (when you truly mean it ) MY only job is to love. God shows you how he is able to love, and that is an invitation for you to see how much you love. Can you love, rape, abuse, your parents who said something bad to yourself that made you depressed for years, the guy who stole your car... of course I can love it all!!!! and then you say I can't love that, and God says to you "Its okay, I love you". 1h:36min when you see murder on TV, God lived through that, God is willing to experience it, God loves it all. If you loved as much as God, this duality would completely collapse and you would become God, so what is separating you from God is only your capacity to love. Which is only a function of how selfless you are. The only reason you are not able to love is because you have selfish biases and attachments, so are you willing to surrender all of those? Including your life? 1h 47min - too deep to write it here, must watch Everything is love. Reality is love.

There are stories about Nikola Tesla being from planet Venus. And scientists now claim that Venus was once like earth with habitable climate, atmosphere, continents and oceans. Obviously, the breakaway civilization lives on Venus! And also on earth but they have to blend in with the public society here so Venus is probably their main home at the moment. Ra in the Law of One was from Venus. Hardly a coincidence. And the Bible says that the victorious one will be given the morning star, which I have mentioned earlier means that "the one" meaning fourth density social memory complex on earth, will be "given" the morning star, integration between planet earth and Venus when we enter fourth density. The stories about Venus being a hot hell-like planet with acidic sulfur clouds seems to me to be a smokescreen, and that Venus in reality is still like earth yet cloaked. The Book of Revelation, which I of course now believe is written by the breakaway civilization uses Law of Confusion language heavily. Even ACIM and the Law of One are written by the breakaway civilization I believe. Ra talked about Wanderers on earth, which I'm not sure yet if that means people from the breakaway civilization or another third group of people. The "one" smashing the nations means that separate national governments as collective egos need to be replaced by a global unity that includes planet Venus. It's about a peaceful transformation.

Lol, that would be an interesting transformation ?

@dimitri No worries. I noticed a tendency on this site with people being clever with words and semantics, but that doesn't replace the actual energetic work and spiritual transformation that needs to occur. I'm not saying that's you, just a general annoyance I have with people here and I apologise if it doesn't apply to you.

@dimitri With all due respect, those are just words and semantics. I am talking about a real energetic and spiritual transformation here that requires immense amounts of work and self-sacrifice. if you are merely inspecting your beliefs, you've barely started on the journey yet.

In my spiritual practice I have been moving towards becoming a God, which was oftentime a painful and challenging process. Last night, whilst meditating, I had a major realisation. I have been struggling with my dark side for the longest time. Like most people, I have been trying to deny it, suppress it. I did not want to acknowledge my evil, destructive side, thinking it is necessary to be „good” in the traditional sense to achieve godhood. Since this is the message RHP religions constantly project, it is an understandable misconception. The breakthrough was triggered by my brief exposure to images of spiritual alchemy and the balancing of dualities, which I only glanced at briefly as I was looking for material to read. However, that brief glance triggered a deep realisation in me on how I have been suppressing an entire side to me, that is crucial and the only way to achieve balance. I now realise that becoming a God isn’t about good and evil, but about free will transcending such arbitrary categorisations, about rising beyond the traditional realisations regarding the true nature of things. All Gods have a light and dark side, that is the only way to keep balance in the universe. Creation and destruction must act in unison and in balance. Shiva is perhaps the best manifestation of that principle. He is the destroyer, but also the god of fertility, rejuvenation and rebirth. One cannot exist without the other. A Lioness is ultimate evil to the antelope she is eating alive, but the personification of goodness and benevolence to her cubs, who depend on her for sustenance and protection. You cannot protect those you love, if you are weak. You must be a fierce warrior on the one hand, to have the ability to be a benevolent protector and nourisher on the other. Another good example of this is Inanna-Ishtar, the Goddess I chiefly work with. She is Goddess of War and Love, expressing this very duality. So, I have now come to terms with my dual nature and as I grew to accept the Truth, it was like a dam broke and energy centres I barely knew existed went into overdrive in my body and I felt the most incredible surge of energy in me, which I can only compare to being hit by lightning. As that energy was surging through me, I felt incredibly powerful, like a God and realised that I have no limitations, I can do whatever I want, because the normal dualistic rules no longer applied. I fused my dualities, the opposing forces that were previously fighting for dominance in me and became Non-Dual. I came to realise, that the main reason we are weak (as opposed to the Gods) is due to our dualistic nature. Most of our energies are taken up by this constant fight and struggle for dominance between our opposing natures, like male-female, good-evil, light-dark, solar-lunar, etc… However, we are in error, when we allow that to happen, in Truth, we must harness both our sides, transmute them and fuse them into one, which is what spiritual Alchemy is all about. When both our sides work in unison, in synthesis, we not only double our personal power, in truth we grow it by orders of magnitude, because most of it was taken up by pointless infighting in any case, cancelling out the vast majority of it and making only a tiny portion available to achieve our purpose. It is liberating to know that our path is what we make of it, nothing is chosen for us in advance, except what we agree on beforehand, prior to our incarnation in this form. We are all potential Gods, but suppress our true nature through pointless duality of being and purpose. I have also come to realise something I read about Kundalini Awakening in Gopi Krishna’s books a while ago. He described his enlightenment and transformation into a higher-being, a god-man, one that lives in Heaven all the time and walks with the Gods. I didn’t quite get what he meant by no longer having dual energies (as a man, his masculine-solar side was overactive initially, causing unbearable heat and much suffering in him), but only One type of energy, a fusion of opposites, where there was no longer any dualistic distinction. This fusion of dualities is also present in Inanna’s worship as she was known to merge male and female in a person and there are several depictions of it in Hinduism, where Shiva and Shakti symbolically become one being.

That’s some grand assumptions man. I’m far from convinced someone who spent years stuck in the hedonism of stage orange with no spiritual background just suddenly awoke. One does not simply awaken after a single psychedelic experience. Not to mention one in a western demographic dominated by materialism their entire life. Integration is required and immense work in order transmute insight into transformation. And people seem to be confusing conceptual understanding for understanding in its actuality. Just because someone relentless spits eloquently coherent spiritual jargon does not substantiate their level of awakeness more than a convincing actor playing a role. It appears he has fooled his followers just as he has himself. I don’t know if he is awake or he is not. Nor does it matter. However, my approximations tell me that he is far from so. To me he seems to have constructed a volatile spiritual ego if anything. Anyhow, I wish him the best and hope his followers do not make elitist assumptions going forward. What concerns me most is his level of careleness and wrecklenss that has been displayed thus far. I hope he moves beyond such things.

Hi guys. I watched the Transformation Mastery course by Julien Blanc and there were many steps there, all of which I think I overcame. There is one more thing and he presents it as a last step himself, if I am not mistaken, which is this notion of "I am a bad person". I know I am not a bad person, in fact, I am a really good guy. Yet, there is this thought repeating itself in my head, in many forms, coming back again and again. Julien says that is was deeply rooted in him, because our society is showing us, that bad guys are also cool and it's awesome to be a bad guy character. I am not sure if that is it in my case. Not really sure what it is and even what triggers it, it's just a thought on a loop autopilot that I have. It's like an old shadow of mine, that refuses to fade away and die, it's really annoying and I would love to get rid of that once for all. WIth other thought loops, I used a method of just watching and not attaching to them, because from what I know, giving them any attention and emotional attachment is just making them stronger. It worked for all of my shadow work, but this one just dies hard. Any advice would be golden, thank you a lot.

So, with out personal memories having a foundation in a false belief in separation, are our memories worthless? No, our personal memories contain a lot of value. And that's what the harvest in the Law of One is about! Harvest of our third density self is much about extracting the valuable content in our memories and recontextualizing it into a fourth density perspective. It's about a transformation of the individual self and not just about ego death, or surrender of self.

I meant Cathedral as a metaphor. Do you think that you can set up a System and let it run without Updates or without renovate it from time to time? What is with Security, it need to be protected from Corruption. This is at least relatively high cost, high maintenance and massive, but flexible, fluid and perhaps decentralized. The last point would make it more costly and high in maintenance. Not necessary all of that, but I find this a good Ideal. For Example Wikipedia is kind of Yellow. It's Scalable, Decentralized and Self-Organizing and Lightweight. It's not perfect because one man hold all the power, but it works exceptionally well All the Systems that has to be in Place in Order to Update an Article... You can change a Article, yes, but someone will read you Changes and after some Minutes it's back to normal. You would need to wove you false Information artistically into an Article and for that you would need to have tremendous Background on that Topic and on the System Structure of Wikipedia. But if that's the case you not likely to do that.. Plus: The whole System grew organically. 1. Transformational Festivals I watched the Video, here some first thoughts. I'm may be wrong. First of all: Generally I dislike Festivals. They are loud and full of ignorant People/People in an ignorant state. You can't really talk deeply. The Structure don't allows it easily. The Transformational Festivals is a great, great Improvement from 'normal' Festivals. While I may would visit this to experience the Atmosphere, and surely the more Yellow and Turquoise than in the normal Population, I think that this Structure is mainly still Green. It's a collective, group-experience, community, hippy like Gathering. I'll exaggerate what I read from this: Lets get together and play a sugary Ideal of how the think World should be, party, dance, take drugs and then go home and bitch and moan about the ignorant majority. Well, this is really a Exaggeration. I think this Festival is cool for those who like Festivals and Part of a healthy change. 2. Rebel Wisdom Thanks for that. I have to see if that is for me. I'm always in desperate need of Yellow Crack;) Yeah, well. Well, well, well. What if, lets say, some big ignorant Group of Festivals People would be transferred to the Transformational Festival. They see it, they like it. They like it because it's hunting time. They do the most disturbing Activities, the Opposite of what you are supposed to do. What if that happens all the time? There is a reason why this Festivals are far away from normal People. Artists on a festival do need to outnumber the audience IN SPIRIT in order to make it an artistic place. Yes! This is the paradox. If some Group would make it official it's likely that it would transform into a lower state. Yeah beautiful, but won't give you tangible results. I mean yeah, it's part of long Transformation of Humanity, but I wouldn't think that the natural Place for Yellow. Yellow craves for real changes in big Systems like a State or a Organization. My Ideal of an Yellow Group is a Group of highly skilled Individualists, what make them a Group is a shared cause and that everyone is special and has something to contribute. Like the Star Trek Main Cast: Captain, Doctor, Mechanical Specialist, Pilots, Fighters and other Specialists. And there is 'the Crew'. Normal people that contribute in their way and sometimes they have big contributions to make. But most of the time they do their part to keep the Ship doing that is needs to do. Everyone is important, but not the same.

I think transformational festivals actually do this, that would be like a cathedral made of people. It reminds me also of a story that the burning man festival has a "temple", which is one of the festival buildings, a large wooden structure. During the festival everyone can leave things there that strain him (written on pieces of paper or just on the walls). And in the end the whole thing is burned down as a ritual, forming a powerful symbol of impermanence and transformation.

@Nahm Hmmm ... I still don't see it. @DivineSoda Yeah. God being unconditionally loving towards His creation is understandable. But the creation is MADE out of love? Wtf! @Inliytened1 Let's say the universe we are basing our assumptions on is dualistic. We can't appeal to non-duality here because it will collapse too much stuff. Even the word "you" is logically inconsistent in a non-dual universe, you see? @Synchronicity Being "unconditionally loving' = no problem. Unconditionally loving something or someone = logical fallacy, that is the argument, please see. There's no "all states of Leo". Leo is completely gone, because the existence of Leo is limited through conditions/boundaries. @Nak Khid If unconditional love is directed at an object, then the argument absolutely allows for transformation of said object, in order to test and see if the "unconditional" nature of the love still holds. No no, that's not correct at all. "Unconditional love" is not a "vow", unconditional love is unconditional love. No offense, but I feel your understanding of even the surface of the argument is very limited. The core of my hypothesis has completely flown over your head. It's probably my fault, maybe I didn't make it clear enough.

I don't know what's the interpretation for "water and the Spirit" but I agree that the Bible has some advanced stuff, although many truths have been lost... As for the body appearing as human, to me the first chapters from Genesis are really insightful: “I heard Your voice in the garden,” he replied, “and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” 11“Who told you that you were naked?” asked the LORD God. “Have you eaten of the tree from which I commanded you not to eat?” 12And the man answered, “The woman whom You gave me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” In conclusion, they were innocent and suddenly they started feeling shame and fear because that's the price of knowledge. And Jesus said that we should be like children again which makes sense because they don't know much before the mind is being programmed by all around us. When we are little we think that everything is possible and the mind has the power of transformation... but once we start to believe in our mortality, our minds act like a time bomb... this is where body starts to get ill and old, and finally die. Because the spark has been killed by this huge brain that we call "reality". When there is no hope, the magic is lost.

Q: When they have some spiritual experience, another difficulty arises. They complain that the experience does not last, that it comes and goes in a haphazard way. Having got hold of the lollypop, they want to suck it all the time. M: Experience, however sublime, is not the real thing. By its very nature it comes and goes. Self-realization is not an acquisition. It is more of the nature of understanding. Once arrived at, it cannot be lost. On the other hand, consciousness is changeful, flowing, undergoing transformation from moment to moment. Do not hold on to consciousness and its contents. Consciousness held, ceases. To try to perpetuate a flash of insight, or a burst of happiness is destructive of what it wants to preserve. What comes must go. The permanent is beyond all comings and goings. Go to the root of all experience, to the sense of being. Beyond being and not-being lies the immensity of the real. Try and try again. So awakening, no matter how deep or profound or fucking-up-of-one's-life it may seem in memory is always "cool story bro" and yet, the desire it brings about in us is worth "dying" for. I'm having a hard time in mediation, (me, judgment, doing something). There's this feeling in my stomach like anxiety, butterflies, fear, falling in love and it's not really happened but it seems very real. I'd like to demonize it, but I know it's my best friend. I wish we could just have an awkward conversation and hash things out, but I don't know what to say. Is it possible my words won't fix things this time? Because nothing needs to be fixed? I'm not sure how to reconcile with something I actually really want to get rid of. The misunderstanding seems stupidly obvious when you write about it, doesn't it?

Been working night-shift tonight, and I had some opportunities to meditate tonight. For the first time ever I saw some inklings of getting some kind of resolve to my situation in life. When I ended that education I was doing in gestalttherapy (and my own individual therapy at the same time) I was still stuck in an unresolved impasse. The impasse is sort of a therapeutic gridlock in your life where you feel stuck all over and there is no clear way out of it. I think I'm still in a fight to find a way out. Seems like everything I do has an element of fighting in it. Like really trying hard to get somewhere, but I fail over and over, because my projects are short-lived, and then I get occupied with a new temporary project, and nothing really seems to resolve the underlying stuckness that dominates my life. But tonight I saw the inklings of a total surrender and acceptence regarding my total situation in life. I kind of felt that I'm just totally screwed and there is nothing I can do about it and I might as well just accept that my life ended up this way as sort of a failure. I'm working in a madhouse, and I cannot get a full job there because I'm a social worker and they only give full employment to nurses. And I have all these hobbies in all directions, and there is no clear direction to any of it, and with women it is the same over and over again, some kind of temporary crush, and usually if they have a crush on me, by the time I catch up with it they have moved on, or figured I'm some sort of lost soul or something like that that they don't really want to get involved with when they get to know me for what is under the surface. And all that stuff. And I'm living in a rented appartment, and most people my age has bought their own home. In gestalttherapy they have what they call the paradoxical law of change, meaning you can only experience deep transformation when you fully become what you are, and not when you try to become something you are not. I've experienced this principle many times on individual issues, but never fully on my life as a total, hence I'm still fighting to become something else than what I currently am, but tonight it really dawned on me that this situation that I'm in in life requires a total surrender to my situation just as it is. That is probably the only way I can get out of this impasse and reach a full and complete process in my therapeutic process. So this is very exciting. I think this started to become much more clear because when I was recently starting building up to a daily meditation practice again, I was feeling everything else in my life doesn't really go anywhere, and I might as well just surrender into simply being a meditator - like got to have something, at least, and that might as well be meditation. One of my meditation teachers used to say that meditation is the one thing that is going to see you through. So meditation is forcing this stuckness into the foreground, and perhaps now I have a great chance of really penetrating it deeply. Interestingly enought the whole thing doesn't seem as damn frightening as it used to do. Something inside of me has just wanted to give up, resignate, because I've been fighting so hard for such a long time - and this tension between resignation and fighting is not good, but I can see the inklings of this psychic struggle finding some resolve. Feels like I've almost had a daily meditation practice again so far this June because it started building up again in the end of last month, so I make it into a resolve to meditate for 45 min every day for the rest of June, and then when this month is over I'll do an evaluation.

Mike Tyson is currently the most enlightene person on Iron Mike is my guru, the toad has opened him. He is the top awakened avatar , complete transformation

@Leo Gura Why does people like Martin Ball and Octavio Rettig does not seem as transformed as someone like Peter Ralston. Sadhguru, says these people do not go under such level of transformation as of those who do natural consciousness work. Sadhguru probably has done psychedelics, thats why he does not support it. He knows they are powerful, but because of his leadership position, people can start doing them in unresponsable ways and get side tracked. Also, is it possible that this altered states of consciousness are actually just a precise medium through imagination to make you see in a clearer way what you are, but actually its not pure direct contact of conciousness with itself since its done under chemical influence? Because if you need something from the dream to understand the real, you are saying you need a state to know the real. Something impermanent to know whats always there. I think of 5meo as a very precise 4D map of whats real and that actually looks and feels very real, but its actually not real in essence. Also, saying you need 5-MeO-DMT to awaken at such levels is like making this plants a necesary guru. Does God need a guru to awaken? Not necesarily but might be very helpful. Has Leo become attached to his experiences and insights under these states which have shown him a very realistic map/picture/mirror of what is real, that he might be deluding him self in a very beautiful and wise way, by claming reality just by an apparent seen of it but not direct contact of it?

Frank Yang is great. I watched his videos for years and saw him make a complete psychological transformation. He used to be out of control and made extremely disturbing/entertaining art videos, depending on how you look at it. His primary method has been meditation for hours daily and 10 day retreats. He did some psychedelics a few times but didn’t use them often.

Start by making yourself more compassionate and loving. Serious social change can only happen by inner self-transformation. Develop yourself and become a conscious leader. That is what changes society. Not whining about it from behind a screen at home on your couch while pigging out on Cheetos.

It would be really generous and rich from your side to share on vlogs, YouTube more from how this transformation/embodiment work impact your daily life/relationships/ doing business etc To have a more distinguishible/precise taste of your own process, for us to be the witness of it beyond your insights.

Hey so the reality is that most therapists integrate different therapy styles. Even if you train strictly in one modality, it's inevitable that you pick up some other things and start to expand your skills. I also want to advise those that are interested to first look at the regulations in your region. Where I am a psychotherapist is a regulated profession, and there are certain requirements you must meet (I mostly meet them but ended up deciding not to apply for a host of reasons). Counsellor is not a regulated term, and the main limitation is that we can't practice psychotherapy with people with severe disorders. I'm OK with this, and I actually do practice with one or two people with severe disorders, but I've been advised that they are stable enough that I don't have to worry. The regulations are kind of vague and my understanding is that they are meant to be enforced with people practicing unethically, either misrepresenting themselves or taking advantage of vulnerable people. I would also encourage people to check out the smaller independent training programs. From what I've seen, these produce better therapists as they are more experiential and hands on. Each program is unique so check them out. Many are part time programs. Many are deeply experiential, where essentially you have to walk through the fire yourself. Gestalt therapist training programs are notorious for being challenging and pushing people to grow. I would highly recommend, I did 2 years and learned so much. Oh there's no doubt about this. In so many ways. First is that you will get clients who have similar issues as you, and when you help them work through their feelings, you are inevitably processing your own. A big one for me is that it allows me to practice presence. Just being present with another human for an hour at a time, a few hours a day, it's an amazing practice in being with someone, putting yourself aside and just attuning to them, feeling into their situation, supporting them in what they need. It is undoubtedly a powerful practice, a form of meditation. Another is talking on responsibility, being responsible to others in a really meaningful way. This is rewarding and forces one to grow up and mature. And then of course there's just the fact that you are constantly contemplating healing and growth. These things seep in much deeper. I actually wrote meditations for an app for a while and I found that writing meditations ever day brought about a lot more mindfulness in general. Same with therapy, doing this everyday and thinking about it has made me much more aware of so many subtle things. Do go back to your original question, I wouldn't necessarily say that practicing has led me to develop spiritually, I'd say it's more allowed me to mature and be more embodied and integrated. Just pointing out the different emphasis. That being said, I have some intuitive colleagues who's intuition hit new heights as soon as they started practicing. I think the main thing is that one has overcome difficulty in their life and is willing to face themselves, their shadow, etc. Overly confident people who don't question their assumptions and beliefs are the most dangerous therapists. It takes humility, to not assume you know what's best for another person, to not project your values or goals or desires onto them. You need to respect that everyone has their own unique path, and support people in discovering that and not choose anything for them. I introduce ideas all the time to clients and sometimes the client is interested, sometimes not. You have to let the client find their own way. They need to discover their own sense of sovereignty, independence... it's called self-actualization for a reason, it must be done by you, no one can do it for you. I have seen all sorts of personalities who have become great therapists, so it's hard to say that some traits are better or some are bad. Being able to be empathetic, to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Being willing to try things out, explore without knowing where things are going. Always wanting to learn, and always looking for new ways of doing things. These are things that come to mind. I studied a Transpersonal Therapy course that was a mix of Gestalt, Jung, family constellations, and that sort. I studied a Gestalt program, which is a form of therapy where you are bringing awareness to all the different parts of self and integrating them. Gestalt programs are very challenging, they will challenge you to be honest with yourself and others and be present with the impacts of such honesty. Some of the best therapists I've ever met, who were very sharp and very clear people, were Gestalt therapists. I studied at an existential-integrative program, which was a mix existential therapy (looking at meaning, purpose, what it means to be human), Jungian / James Hillman (looking at archetypes, individuation), psychodynamic (making the unconscious conscious), somatic (body oriented work)... It had a lot of elements. The reality is that at least half of my learning was done on my own time. I've always been reading on these topics, and especially once I get a client with a certain challenge, there's a big motivation to learn more on that. The really important thing to learn as foundation is how to work with trauma. Nearly everyone has trauma, so it's relevant with every client, but probably half are really coming to do trauma work, even if they don't know it at first. Trauma resources that I found helpful: The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk Books by Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Sensorimotor Therapy by Pat Ogden Work by Janina Fisher (Parts work for trauma) Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker (this book is amazing) Psychology in Seattle Podcast (you need to subscribe to get full access, but this is an amazing podcast for learning. The guy is an atheist, it's not spiritual at all, but he has a real understanding of how therapy works and he's a great teacher, he cuts through the bullshit and gets straight to the point) Existential/Meaning/Big Picture Resources Honestly I think Carl Jung is really the guy here. Viktor Frankl is seen as the originator of Existential Psychology, and he's amazing, but Carl Jung is absolutely existential and amazing in so many ways, and there's a big emphasis on transformation, letting the old self die to make way for a more authentic Self. James Hollis is probably the most straightforward way into leaning this stuff. He has about a dozen books. A great start would be Living an Examined Life, where each chapter is one idea to contemplate. He also did an audiobook called Through The Dark Wood which is amazing, so dense with wisdom, one of my favourite resources for understanding life and psychology (I can send this to anyone who wants, just PM me). James Hillman is remarkable, and has many talks on Youtube. A really interesting character, he is so wise and sharp minded. Rollo May is also amazing, he's done a lot of great work, many great books. Irvin Yalom is maybe the most fun to read, and he has so many great books. He's a mix of Existential, Psychodynamic, and Gestalt. He's written all his books as teaching resources, even though half are fiction, they are always communicating and exploring some questions around therapy, and usually sex and death too. Love's Executioner is a book of true short stories about clients and how he helped them. A lot of lessons and leaning in this book. He also wrote The Gift of Therapy which is an open letter to young therapists, giving advice on therapy. It's just a bunch of little pieces of advice, things to contemplate. Michael Meade is a mythologist and teaches through stories. He's great and his books are great. Same with Robert Bly. Also for Transpersonal therapy, Stanislav Grof is the king. His book The Adventure of Self-Discovery is probably the best, most concise intro to his work. These are the big ones for me. I've also learned a good amount from Gabor Mate, who does compassionate inquiry training. His book on ADHD is great, and I think things like ADHD are really important to understand, because I got a lot of clients with it, and many of them were undiagnosed, and helping them understand ADHD was a relief for them as they had a lot of shame around certain ways of being. To know that this is a common thing that many people suffer from can be good, but also we don't want pathologize, for people to say well I have this so there's no point in trying to change. The idea of understanding diagnosis is to understand where the challenges are and be more forgiving with oneself, and learn what works. For example, for people with ADHD, trying to focus harder often shuts down the part of the brain that is responsible for focus. This is what's so frustrating. We feel weak willed or weak minded (I have ADHD). So learning how to shift focus, how to roll with it all, this is really helpful, and also learning about structuring time, sitting with discomfort, etc.