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  1. Life is so vast, that intellect and logic are unable to contain it. Life contains logic and intellect that is part of man. Logic parts life in an attempt to grasp its immensity and in which man feels an existential angst. Science is to know the exterior objective physical world, religion is to know the interior subjective world of man. The subject of which is an abyss to the intellect, for the source of who we are, that is God, is vast. A part can’t contain the whole, but is contained by it. We are in a intellectual abyss for we are trying to grasp an abyss beyond logic and duality (subjective), with an intellect that is logical and dual (objective) Man is lost in translation, the translation of realms and dimensions that he is betwixt. The realm of logic and love. Metaphysics is about that which is beyond physics, beyond the laws of the physical world, for we exist within the spiritual,within God, not without. Logic deduces the whole to its parts. In deduction exists reduction. The part tries to get to the whole that is larger than itself. The physical world follows logic, the other world is beyond logic. Logic is science, what is beyond logic is religious. Science is about the seen world, religion about the unseen. It is not that God is dead, but that we are dead to the world of God. People who sense something beyond the objective materialist world, are correct, but not in their interpretation and application of it to the world of physical laws. They try to impose the metaphysical which is illogical and infinite to the physical which is logical and finite. Both exist, but in their respective realms, within reality. Reality encompasses realms, a certain realm cant encompass and be imposed on reality. To fit the metaphysical onto the physical is the issue, its not that we come from the metaphysical, but out of it. We are not apart from the metaphysical, but in process with it, and yet we try to part ourself from it in order to grasp it with our intellect of which it can only grasp the part and not the whole. To tie this into politics, the far left lean into subjective reality denying the objective, the far right objective reality at the cost of the subjective. The spirit is bifurcated through biology but longs to transmute that to which it is born into, back to its source, unity. The trans movement,whether in biology or humanism appeals to the spirit of man but not in the expression it takes in society. It is a hijacking and misinterpretation of the spiritual instinct to transcend. Man wants to transcend the duality of his biology, not transmix biology. If we are subjects experiencing the objective world, then the question arises who is the subject, who am I? Beasts know not that they are, man knows that he is, but not who he is. An awakened one, a prophet knows who he is. Ordinary man is in limbo between these dimensions. The external world is dual, dialectic, syllogistic, logically a place of cause and effect, thesis and antithesis. The interior world is in its essence synthesised. Synthesis isn’t external but internal, of the spirit that is one. We try to synthesis that essence,externally. Mans trouble is his sense of being between the duality of realms, his juvenile awareness of his oneness amongst the duality. His struggle and angst is in comprehending, translating, and existing between these realms, to be in the world and not of it. To partake in life, without parting himself from it through the means of his intellect, which tries to fragment the tapestry of the life to its parts in an attempt to feel at ease with it. The finite can only hold the finite, the mind makes the infinite finite for its sake. To hold life's essence is to be-hold it. To behold, one must first be. The intellect, a lousy master but a good servant clouds this being. Empty the mind and be to be hold life and be held by the essence that is life, that is to be with the infinite, dis-embodied yet embodied. Logic asks why, love asks why not. Logic reduces life to its part, love raises life to its whole. Logic is the realm of the physical world of cause and effect, love the realm of the spiritual world of union. Logic is causal minded, love is union felt. Logic goes through the part, love through the whole. Logic is linear, life non-linear, circular. Alchemising itself. A straight line, taken to its end will circle the earth back to itself. A line is part of a circle, yet we focus only on the line. Behold, the circle of life.
  2. It seems to vary a lot and is highly personal. The transformational aspects that may come are your decisions to make. From the ego perspective, it doesn't make sense to want such radical transformations so it would seem "unproductive". But actually, this planet could use more selfless awakened healers/leaders, so if your self-identity becomes about the collective then it actually makes perfect sense once you yourself are healed and able to give more than you receive from the ego standpoint (eg, where you start to live in the reality that by giving to another that you're giving to yourself, but with self-respect also). Awakening does not guarantee this path it takes more decision-making to reach that, but it certainly can if used for this purpose on top of understanding. Understanding to me goes hand in hand with transformation so it just depends on what you are personally inspired to do. Deep awakenings can inspire you to be dedicated to being an artist, conscious leader, saint, empathic healer, spiritual teacher, etc on this planet, or just a really good/generous person. But to actualize those things you still have to actually decide for such. Or you can still live out the rest of this life through the ego perspective if that is what you feel inspired to do and there's nothing wrong with that either, or "away from society", it just highly depends on the individual and where they are at in their evolution. Most people's immediate concern is to heal their own traumas and internal conflicts, and that already can improve their lives drastically for themselves and the world, and I would say a requirement for the next steps. However it can also disorient you for some time and cause you to change your work and life drastically. It is helpful to have some support in your life during the awakening process if you have the luxury of such. Some people can awaken a lot and not really change that much or change very slowly, others it can cause a total shift that the person you once knew is no longer. The glory and love from God should inspire you but it's not a simple process, the permanent dissolution of the ego is an arduous process and there are many layers of it for most beings and takes some time if you are not born awakened at a young age. But sometimes you just know that that's what you're meant for in this incarnation, whereas others have to go through a few things and come back to it. During this time it's not uncommon to go through bouts of depression, suicidal thoughts, doubts, etc. So one might seem to the world that one is going insane and "lost it". But you will come out the other side and have grown from it.
  3. I mediated for two weeks before awakening...perhaps less. Tips i do have..... I awakened while meditating to the very first few videos on enlightenment by Leo. He will go into inquiring into what you are, in I believe the second or third episode. That said - there is a problem. I am giving you the answers. God realization doesn't work like that because it's can't be ego driven. The ego has to stumble onto it. So keep this in mind: do you really want to know what you are metaphysically? If so really inquire into your true nature. Listen to the first few episodes but then there is a really good one called something like "self inquiry how to realize you are God". I'll find the title and send it to you. But bottom line is you have to really want to know what you are, even at the expense of your own life.
  4. Schizophrenic races wiped away from existence by "Normy"Bussiness-minded Races. This is inspired by the last blog post from Leo about Schizofrenia. and about the dreamy people from the past being cast out from existence by the more bussiness-minded ones (materialistic). https://www.actualized.org/insights/what-its-like-to-have-schizophrenia The topic of Schizofrenia remind me about all the crazy mind blowing stuff I saw in visionary states of consciousness , all those faces,intertmingling in a vast field of imagery, nothing one could take hold on, dream stuff, infinite templates that, if one could organize it, in a coherent fashion it would not be so difficult to create a whole universe from it, wood patters,fur,glass,baby faces,woman,fire patterns,colouring pencils,gradients of shadow, smoke patterns, glossy structures...impossible to list all, I even saw splashes of blood running like rivers. So, in the last 6 years I saw a lot,on an on.. .material enough to create a virtual reality ( at least visualy speaking) . Many times for me it was like I was experiencing the mind of a Schizofrenic but instead of freaking out with it, being curious about it, contemplating it. nothing new for anyone who ready had visions on trips So back to Leo points Quote: " In other words, the reason humans are so materialistic, rational, and business-like by default is because all the humans with dreamy default states of consciousness were killed off by the business-minded ones. Consider the possibility that 2000 years ago all humans were much more dreamy by default than they are today. But war killed them off and selected for the most materialistic, rational, and business-minded ones. Which is to say, all the most spiritual humans were killed off long ago." -Leo Gura- Imagine what a war is for a normal person. Now imagine what war would be for a Schizofrenic. If you want to experience it, drink 2 glasses of ayahuasca and go to walk in a busy city. So,this post reminded me that I had this link below... comes from the book The Secret Doctrine by Madame Blavatsky http://www.freeinvestigators.com/wi/What-is-Root-Race.php Quote: "1st Root Race.The first root race did not have physical bodies, and their mind-principle was not functioning, hence were called AMšNASA, without mind. Manas, or mind, was only awakened in the third root race by the MšNASAPUTRAS" Question. The so called physical brain we have today is the same from million years ago? A change in the hardware dont affect a change in the software? If the structure evolves dont the function evolve as well? The truth is, I don't know, I just know that when I pump this thing here with enough enteogens the shit get very crazy, dream like crazy. We see in Egipt, Aztec and even Gaelic worldviews we see zoomorphic beings, all this ancestor describe their world like childen, and we are tempted to think they were doing that drawings just for allegoric reasons. What if schizofrenia was more acceptable those times? Well, I never saw it. I was not there, But I heard people in ceremomies saying that everyone in the room became animals. Some with Panther faces,Olws,Pigs...Go figure. To be honest I had never belived everything antropologists say. My question since young was: " Ok, these guys offer explanations of human evolution as far as the physical evidences allow them bones,tools,buildings..., but what about further away? When the traces of "physical " evidence disappear? When we research pre-historic populations we see that they were animistic. So, Just because is all a dream it dosent mean that dream cannot evolve. There was times I couldn't have to much control of my lucid dreaming, now I can navigate much better and be less afraid of it when it happens. And we dont need to go so far. Even last year hearing a old amazonian"pajé" ( Huni Kuin shaman) telling their cosmologic stories, I couldn't make sense of it. Was like he was talking dream language, no logic, no relation with anything you could call "scientific" the best one can make sense of their cosmovision is to categorize it as mytological or even science-fiction. This is of course just me open-minded speculating about it, so please dont come with questions of "proof" or "plausability" and so on. If Leo can become and Alien, what more can be possible? We just don't know. Or have someone here traveled to thousand years in history to see how humans were or how the gestalt of those were ? Anyway, for all of us there was time when as babies, we had no ideia we had a body or we were the owners of a body. When we study the evolution of man are we not actually studying the evolution of a dream?
  5. Letting go of all those things, or not, the dream remains the same. The dream (reality) has to cease for one to be Awakened.
  6. Last week, I was just taking a walk outside and doing some self-inquiry. Suddenly, the feeling of me weakened considerably. My suffering and anxiety quickly dissipated, and the barrier between myself and the rest of reality has been blurred. I have my doubts since others who report this experience talk about completely merging with reality and knowing of this field of awareness. I, on the other hand, still have some identification with the ego, but at the same time feel like I am all of reality and feel the no-self. Also, the voice has quieted down more so than ever before, and my baseline level of happiness and peace of mind is greater than I can ever remember it. While there have been distinct moments where I have felt better, I can't recall this even-keeled, constant peace of mind, ever; it's like being a small child all over again, but maybe even better. Not only that, but people report quickly going back to the ego-self after their brief, amazing experience; I , rather, haven't reverted. Though I still have bad habits, anxieties, insecurities, etc. it is all much weaker, I can just let go of the automatic-negative-thoughts (ANTs) instead of ruminating, and that black-white boundary between me and everything else is distinctly weaker. The change seems subtle but significant, and it doesn't seem to subside at all--it always just is. Here's some of the differences in list form: - Suffering has gone down considerably. -Emotions are less distracting. - I can just let things go. - If the ego is hurting and I'm self-absorbed, I can shift focus to the higher self like zooming out of a picture, and see that I am everything. - I still have bad habits, but they don't feel nearly as rewarding to indulge, as guilt inducing afterwards, and their control is weakening. This seems not to be happening with just a specific behavior,but across the board. - My existential quandaries no longer trouble me. - Other people may still like other people, but they also feel like me, sort of. Also, when ever I hear/think of others' achievements, there is almost no jealously or self-shame-- they feel like my own. I also don't feel like any of that truly matters. -I don't feel a strong need for other people's validation, or even my own validation. - I don't feel like I need to search for something to be happy. - I find more authentic joy in my hobbies since my self-image is not related to them. - My work doesn't reflect who I am; it is simply a part of the infinite me. - Messing up doesn't make me feel bad about myself. I can just note that I want to modify a behavior and move on. - I don't feel better/worse/ or equal to others. I just am, and they just are. - I don't feel like there is good or evil, but I have no strong impulse to do things that are traditionally thought of as evil. I just feel more compassionate and loving not because it is meaningful or better-- it's just a reflection of my state of being. TL;DR: Everything is the same but better. PS: I just did a two hour Strong Determination Sitting today; I don't do those often and have only been doing them for about 30 minutes or so, so I didn't really work up to it at all. It was still difficult, but I didn't even feel resistance until after the first one hour. Only the last 30 minutes were hellish. Interestingly, I feel somewhat more identified with the ego- self after that intense sit, but I suspect that may just be temporary and a heighted awareness of the ego that was still "there". The intense physical sensations make awareness seem more localized in the body. Questions for you: What happened to me? Is this preliminary enlightenment? I didn't merge into reality completely, and this field of awareness/ emptiness is still alien to me, which makes me thing either that will happen in the later stages if this is awakening, or I am just experiencing something else entirely.
  7. Agree with all the points except the last. I don't think we're ever meant to transcend but integrate spirituality into 'Self-Help' Personally don't believe meditating in the mountains is the height of existence (maybe for some personality types) Instead think the World needs more awakened / developed people in the thick of things & doing all of the bullets above I see that as the evolution of spirituality from being obscure to part of normal life (long way off)
  8. I had no idea Russell Brand had such a high level of awareness until I saw this video. I wonder if he is very close to being enlightened or actually is enlightened. A lot of the things he says are the same exact things Leo has been sharing with us in his videos.
  9. @Breakingthewall ? This forum can get addictive. I awakened by never doing DMT or meditation. Maybe I m just born superior that is possible of course ???
  10. It's not about what I think. I'm pretty ok with Leo's teaching style even though it took while for me to get onboard. When Leo says some of the shit he says, It puts people off the awakening path because they see a snarky bald dude saying he's god. It ruins the image of the nondual and spiritual community and psychedelics in general. This might be entertaining to you but when supposedly awakened people act like this, It may end up stunting the spiritual growth of humanity. Leo has a responsibility to set a good example for spirituality and consciousness work, otherwise this shit will always be seen as a cult and rejected by most. Also, I just realised you are probably either high or crazy so why did I waste my time replying xD.
  11. OK. I appreciate Leo's poetic undertaking, although I still prefer the masterpieces of classical Advaita like Adavhuta Gita for example. Yet, to me it seems like it' s just mumbo-jumboing ourselves into the "oceanic state of oneness" with no clear explanations of why and how the Mind is dreaming what it is dreaming. Why is God is so smart to compute this dream with extremely mathematical precision down to the dreaming of the behavior of the subatomic particles, and yet it is so dumb to deceive itself to believe in the reality of the dream. Why is this so precisely mathematically designed dream is so full of stupidity, self-deception and suffering? "An illusion perfectly designed to allow you to forget for a second that you are God." - says the poem So why is God so stubbornly trying to fool itself into forgetting itself and identifying itself with figments of its own dream? And not just forget and wonder around in the dream, but suffer in that dream immensely and brutally without any way to stop the suffering? Why, after such realization of Oneness and Love, Leo is still suffering from digestive disorder and cannot stop it? Yeah, you can convince yourself to be masochistic and "love" pain and suffering without any ability to stop it. But would not it be easier to actually stop suffering, and even more, stop this entire insane self-deceptive cosmic dream, and just rest in formless state, or start dreaming something less nonsensical, less self-deceptive, bearing less suffering? God can perfectly know itself and still dream a world where it continues to know itself while playing with and enjoying infinite variety of forms with no suffering and self-deception whatsoever. But no, Infinite God cannot do it, it cannot control its own dream. Why? Leo perfectly answered this: "Somehow it all computes in the vastness of your mind." Exactly - "somehow". God has no clue how it computes its own dream and how to control it. God is indeed Absolute because it is Absolutely helpless and Absolutely clueless. Actually, there is a hypothesis to explain why: when God realized that he is completely alone for the whole eternity, there is nothing to do, nothing "outside" of him, nothing to reach to, noone to talk to, nothing to know, he experienced a psychotic breakdown and, to escape from the infinite and absolute terror of this loneliness and hopelessness, he went insane by starting a dream where he could forget the terror of that realization and by splitting into a vast number of personal perspectives (to escape from the experience of loneliness). He made this dream so that it would be very difficult to get back to that terrifying self-realization. He knew that this dream would entail a lot of suffering, but all that suffering would still be incomparably less that the infinite terror of that self-realization. Then he erased his memories and lost himself into a variety of personalities each believing in their own reality as a separate being. The God's plan for the dream was not to eventually restore the original Oneness, but to actually forever hide and self-deceive away from it. We were not supposed to get "awakened"!. Does it make any sense?
  12. Rasa & Transmissions from actual awakened teachings + a sort of 1-1 therapy is imo by far the most effective 'method' You wouldn't start playing a sport and try to become a pro without the help of a coach & plenty of other people, yet majority of people do this with spirituality and then wonder why they get so stuck @Razard86 Are you happy? that's the true test of the absolute 'state' although states don't exist, the absolute is everything, its more whether one is aware, the Francis Lucille quote in my bio sums this up perfectly
  13. This No Desire stuff is mostly BS imo, to me it seems it conflates the absolute & the relative like a lot of Neo-Advaita does you're desiring every single second or you would literally stop breathing And let's be real, every single human alive has preferences in basically every realm of life, I also don't get why you'd want to change that when it serves a crucial purpose No matter how awakened someone is, I can guarantee they have desires from the second they wake up, to the second they fall asleep, as does every living thing in existence Personally, I think seeing through desire is a part of the path, in seeing that absolute happiness (from the absolute) is perfect as it is, therefore desireless, but it goes full circle on a human level and you could say desire goes through an 'upgrade' or evolves, the best description I have heard of this from a teacher (that also describes the cycle of life) is from the saying- 'Desire for the sake of sharing' meaning you no longer simply desire for the self alone but essentially desire for the Self from a place of love, joy & living in general & as a result become a better human I would say a better test of true awakening is actually how good of a person someone is, of course nobody's perfect, but nobody with an integrated awakening lives like a lot of these 'Gurus' do- Sexual scandals, money issues, just being a prick in general etc A lot of modern Non-Duality seems to deny your humanity & this leads to a myriad of issues down the line, I'm more of the belief, that the highest teaching is one that embodies your humanity down to the last drop
  14. Everyone is non dual awakened god realized until you stick them on a cushion for 3 hours with just their thoughts
  15. @spiritual memes I agree with you on 'I'm more awakened than you' rhetoric. I don't really like it either, and find it frustrating and irritating/ cringe. Regarding the tone, I actually quite like the tone. I think when done well its raw, gritty, provocative and cuts through to listeners. Also, this type of tone reminds me of a lot of RSD instructors, and I think its very effective at resonating with people who feel disenfranchised. I think lighter, more friendly communications style don't really get through as well to those sorts of folks imo.
  16. @Ulax I'm not complaining about the content of what he teaches, just the style in which he teaches. For example the tone in which he speaks and the way he addresses the audience and the I'm more awakened than anyone else schtick. I think the present style is pushing way too many people away that would have otherwise benefitted a lot.
  17. @Leo Gura Isn't it possible for an awakened sociopath to be one of the most dangerous people imaginable? If you became nondual but from a place of nihilism instead of love, wouldn't you just be like a GTA character that causes mayhem just for the sake of it? I think it's possible to develop intellectual and perhaps brute-force emotional empathy eventually but you have to make a lot of conscious effort in doing so. Otherwise, the concept of awakening without feeling a deep connection to life sounds like a disaster.
  18. Life is so vast, that intellect and logic are unable to contain it. Life contains logic and intellect that is part of man. Logic parts life in an attempt to grasp its immensity and in which man feels an existential angst. Science is to know the exterior objective physical world, religion is to know the interior subjective world of man. The subject of which is an abyss to the intellect, for the source of who we are, that is God, is vast. A part can’t contain the whole, but is contained by it. We are in a intellectual abyss for we are trying to grasp an abyss beyond logic and duality (subjective), with an intellect that is logical and dual (objective) Man is lost in translation, the translation of realms and dimensions that he is betwixt. The realm of logic and love. Metaphysics is about that which is beyond physics, beyond the laws of the physical world, for we exist within the spiritual,within God, not without. Logic deduces the whole to its parts. In deduction exists reduction. The part tries to get to the whole that is larger than itself. The physical world follows logic, the other world is beyond logic. Logic is science, what is beyond logic is religious. Science is about the seen world, religion about the unseen. It is not that God is dead, but that we are dead to the world of God. People who sense something beyond the objective materialist world, are correct, but not in their interpretation and application of it to the world of physical laws. They try to impose the metaphysical which is illogical and infinite to the physical which is logical and finite. Both exist, but in their respective realms, within reality. Reality encompasses realms, a certain realm cant encompass and be imposed on reality. To fit the metaphysical onto the physical is the issue, its not that we come from the metaphysical, but out of it. We are not apart from the metaphysical, but in process with it, and yet we try to part ourself from it in order to grasp it with our intellect of which it can only grasp the part and not the whole. To tie this into politics, the far left lean into subjective reality denying the objective, the far right objective reality at the cost of the subjective. The spirit is bifurcated through biology but longs to transmute that to which it is born into, back to its source, unity. The trans movement,whether in biology or humanism appeals to the spirit of man but not in the expression it takes in society. It is a hijacking and misinterpretation of the spiritual instinct to transcend. Man wants to transcend the duality of his biology, not transmix biology. If we are subjects experiencing the objective world, then the question arises who is the subject, who am I? Beasts know not that they are, man knows that he is, but not who he is. An awakened one, a prophet knows who he is. Ordinary man is in limbo between these dimensions. The external world is dual, dialectic, syllogistic, logically a place of cause and effect, thesis and antithesis. The interior world is in its essence synthesised. Synthesis isn’t external but internal, of the spirit that is one. We try to synthesis that essence,externally. Mans trouble is his sense of being between the duality of realms, his juvenile awareness of his oneness amongst the duality. His struggle and angst is in comprehending, translating, and existing between these realms, to be in the world and not of it. To partake in life, without parting himself from it through the means of his intellect, which tries to fragment the tapestry of the life to its parts in an attempt to feel at ease with it. The finite can only hold the finite, the mind makes the infinite finite for its sake. To hold life's essence is to be-hold it. To behold, one must first be. The intellect, a lousy master but a good servant clouds this being. Empty the mind and be to be hold life and be held by the essence that is life, that is to be with the infinite, dis-embodied yet embodied. Logic asks why, love asks why not. Logic reduces life to its part, love raises life to its whole. Logic is the realm of the physical world of cause and effect, love the realm of the spiritual world of union. Logic is causal minded, love is union felt. Logic goes through the part, love through the whole. Logic is linear, life non-linear, circular. Alchemising itself. A straight line, taken to its end will circle the earth back to itself. A line is part of a circle, yet we focus only on the line. Behold, the circle of life.
  19. *I feel like I should put a trigger warning here. My intent is not to offend anyone. If you have been the victim of a sexual offense in the past, please consider carefully whether you want to read this.* I am not new to self-help, and am actually quite well-read (or I thought I was anyway). The truth is for many years I steered far away from anything that smelled of religion or spirituality, because as a young man I was a zealous overeager Jesus Freak. I was involved in a charasmatic church that held beliefs similar to those of the now infamous Westboro Baptist Church. In fact, in those days, if I had known about Westboro Baptist Church, I probably would have joined it. I was a very damaged young man. When I first joined the church, I was full of joy and happiness and I really felt like I was in touch with God. The forgiveness story of Jesus is powerful stuff for someone who feels they aren't good enough, and I never was, until I found Jesus. But slowly, the joyful message of a loving God became twisted as i listened to my youth pastor rave about the evils of premarital sex and lust, and how God despises that in a young man above all. And I bought it all. I felt God's eyes turning from me in shame every time I masturbated. I was truly psychotic with shame and guilt and confusion. And an opportunity arose in which I was watching three children of a friend of mine, and the children were "playing doctor" naked in the house, and it occurred to me that this was just play and it was okay to join them and I did, and then i was instantly crushed with shame. I never did anything like it again and I never will and if I could go back in time and change it, I would, but I can't, and the past doesn't exist anyway--except it does--what is the past? It's just story, right? Anyway, I confessed my crime, and I spent more years in prison than I should have because I continued to punish myself and sabotaged my chances for release. When I finally go out, I went to school and sabotaged myself, and got an amazing job and sabotaged myself, I went back to school and finished my degree. I started a business. I got married. I had a kid. I've sabotaged myself every time I got close to succeeding because I didn't think I deserved to succeed. I am 45 years old and own a small Internet business which is failing miserably for many reasons. But something is happening to me and I am breaking the cycle. It started when I discovered cannabis a few years ago, and was able to get some relief from my anxiety and agoraphobia, I began to go through a process of self-examination then. Then my father passed away and this January, my mother, and I went into a VERY dark place. I have been in a pitched battle for my soul since December. I don't know how else to put it. I was restless and anxious and searching and searching for answers, and I came here, and i felt like Leo was speaking directly to me. I had some health issues that were directly related to my stress, but I overcame them and now I am awake. It's my life. How can I be the part of the reality that is what i call me, or share my gifts with anyone if I am afraid people will hate and persecute me? But really it doesn't matter if they hate me, because I'm no one, I get that now, but my story is important. People should hear it, as a cautionary tale if nothing else. I don't need to tell it non-anonymously though, I think. It is not who I am anymore. It was 26 years ago. I need to find a job, but I am afraid people will do a background check and find out about my past. I have an accounting degree and a lot of business experience. I have been self-employed for the last 9 years and counting and know a little about online marketing and website building and wordpress and ecommerce and Kickstarter (I have had several successful Kickstarter campaigns). Without bragging, I may not know the cutting edge of business apps and technology, but I'm creative, insightful and I've been very successful at various times, but never able to continue the momentum because I was afraid if I got too big, people would find out about me somehow. Once I had money, people would try to blackmail me, I need a job or my wife is going to leave me. I'm going to exercise a little of a word I haven't thought about in a long time: faith. I'm posting this because I want to have faith that there is someone out there who is on the middle path, who could maybe use someone to team up with. Maybe you want to team up with my business or I could team up on your endeavor, or something, but I'd like to find someone else who is awake and actively pursuing enlightenment. Is it wrong of me to want to team up with another actualized person? I really need some help. I am experiencing brand new things. Like, this is seriously changing the way I live my life. I am almost sure it's just a trick or that I'm being duped, that it can be so easy to just live your life the way you want to and experience these thoughts and emotions as just another something that happens, like a headache, but you just feel it and let it go. There's nothing you can do about a headache other than taking a couple of pills and letting it pass. It doesn't do any good to get upset with the headache. It's the same way with these stupid emotions. It doesn't do anyone any good to get upset and ruffled by them. They are part of our experience. It doesn't do to blame our pasts for who we are. Our past is part of our story, but our story hasn't been written yet. This idea that I'm damaged because i suffered through all of this crap in my past is true, and it's true that there are an awful lot of people who would rather spit on me than accept me as a brother, but none of that matters. I can live my life in the moment and life is beautiful and I feel like I can actually FEEL my consciousness expanding, like my mind is swelling with new possibilities of new ways to experience life without letting my emotions control me. My wife and daughter think I have lost my mind but in a beautiful way. I have the best conversations with my daughter now. It was so hard for me to connect with her before, because I never really wanted a child. My wife really wanted a child, and I wanted my wife to be happy, but I was always filled with anxiety, not that I would ever do anything to hurt my child, but that someone would recognize me and think something awful of me. But that doesn't matter either now. In a way, the experience of having a child has forced me to confront these anxieties. I can't escape her. And i don't want to. She is amazing. She's super smart and she reads to me or I read to her every night and she's undoubtedly one of the best things in my life. I found myself editing and revising a lot of this after I wrote it as my ideas about what I am going through are kind of evolving. I can't really explain what is happening to me, but i don't want it to stop. I want to get better, and I don't want to just get better for a little while and fail again. I believe I can do that now, and I am very grateful for these videos. I also wouldn't mind a hand up if someone was interested in taking on an apprentice or partner or employee... I just want to be around people who are awake.
  20. Two

    For an awakened being, the hardest thing to do, is sleep.
  21. since everyone is chatting shit, I'm tier 69 stage glow in the dark sparkly latex purple. This stage is so conscious and awakened it appears to others like I'm mentally retarded.
  22. You know by now that when I say "your true nature" I am referring to God within each avatar that appears to be separate but actually isn't. Of course there is a you, from the ultimate perspective. You are everything and every nothing, and beyond both. The dream is an expression of God, but in different apparent states of awareness. In some avatars it has chosen to realize its true nature, and in others it has not, all within the dream. This awareness exponentially elevates the dream experience. If you have awakened, you know this. The quality of life after awakening, especially as the attachments of the avatar mind begin to dissolve, is joy and serenity that surpass understanding. Yes, it is all within the dream. You are God within the avatar before awakening, and are God within the avatar after awakening. But you are still God within the dream, and you are not yet liberated from the dream. The avatar has no power to perpetuate anything, including the dream. It is all God creating the dream, and within the avatar choosing to see or not to see itself. That choice transforms the dream entirely.
  23. @Someone here I'd like to be of assistance, here. But in my responses, bear in mind that I've only realised that (awakened to) Reality is Mind, and haven't yet tapped into that Godhead which is.. what is referred here as Universal Mind. Okay The mechanism of creation is simple, it is self-evident and unveiled. The problem, here, is the common mistake of thinking about the Mind as a faculty/facility, instead of the One Activity of infinity (existence) Think of the Mind as a verb, not a noun. In this way, the mechanism which you seek is the very Mind in question. Look up the verbal definition of the word, it is along the lines of.. care to be conscious of something (anything).. this is the mechanism. Hence sayings like: “Don't mind that.”; “Never mind.”: “Do you mind?”. It's because Mind is an activity, the only activity, it's what the infinity does - to mind or not to mind - that is the question. And this truth can be verified just about anyone, all that is needed is for you to pay enough attention. Just look.. if you don't care about something, will you be conscious of it? There are a lot of things that aren't in your awareness right now, and so often the reason isn't the lack of intelligence, it is simply the lack of concern. The moment you care about a situation is the instant you become conscious of that situation, like, “OMG, I haven't fed my fish, today.” or, “I haven't done my homework.” and typically, “I did not realize my mistake.” But, as I've said, the mechanism of creation is a self-evident truth. Another problem which hinders you from perceiving it is the assumption of an external world - a world outside your Mind (direct experience/reality). Because of this assumption/belief, there is no way that Mind is an absolute because there is that activity which is outside of it, though, there is in fact none. If you can just pay enough attention to your direct POV in this instant, there is no way you could not realise that this is what Mind (verb) looks like. It is precisely this! Lastly, before you can realise Mind, you would have to realise Infinity, otherwise your experience of separation will forever be dominant and continue to hinder your ability to realise Mind, fully.
  24. Long read ahead..so go make some coffee This question is actually one of the deepest philosophical questions one may think of, and I am not absolutely sure if everyone who provided their answers in this topic fully understands the underlying thought of this question. It is a very intriguing question, and it is very hard to formalize in words. “Why am I me?” is indeed the best possible wording if we try to put it into English, but it still fails to provide an immediate clarity of what this question is about. Let me share with you some of my personal experience around this question first. I do not remember exactly when I asked myself “why am I me?” for the first time in my life, but it definitely was before my 5 or even before my 4. One of my very early memories related to this question was a sudden “discovery” that all adults (including my parents) were blind. Literally! OK, let me explain. I was a very young child (I do not even know what my age was, but I remember myself lying in a baby bed) when my mom came to my bed and started talking to me. And when I looked at her face (specifically paying attention to her eyes), I surprisingly discovered I could not see the world from her location. I cannot explain why, but back then, I expected that presence of someone else’s eyes would have immediately resulted in my ability to perceive the world from their point of view. It may seem ridiculous to you (and to present “me” as well), but at that time I probably failed to fully understand that my perception was only “my” perception .. I expected a somewhat “global shared field of perception” to exist. Of course, I did not (and could not) put this logic into words then, it was merely a vague “feeling”, but I do remember it well. And more and more observations of other adults at that time led me to a conclusion that they just cannot see, their eyes are somewhat “empty”. That funny story was not like directly asking “why am I me?” yet, but it was a kind of a “prerequisite” to it. Much older, when I already possessed a more “adult” understanding of the world (i.e. I already knew other people could see as well, I already knew I had not been always existing , as I initially used to think, I already knew children and adults were just different stages of aging, and not two “fundamentally different sorts of people” as it seemed to me earlier), but still being young enough (no more than in my 4 or 5) this question came to me for the first time. I did not have any wording for it yet - back then I just called it this question for myself. Much later, I found a somewhat suitable verbal form for it ..and it was “Why am I me?” . This question was so strange, so hard to explain, so hopeless to be ever answered, that it made me feel helpless every time I tried to think of it for long enough. It was sometimes even scary to think of it deeply, but at the same time my curiosity made me come back to it again and again. And today ..I'm finally able to find the answer to this question for myself. How ? Well,I noticed a very strange and unexplainable thing (and also it was somewhat frightening): I am “the center” of perception, “the center” of consciousness, “the center” of self-awareness. That was not anyone else but me. It made me feel as I was a very special, a very unique human being on the whole Earth.Why me? How come I was born such an unusual creature, not like anyone else? But on the other hand, I already understood that no one would believe I was special if I dared to tell it to anybody. So, I kept my “discovery” in a deep secret. And, frankly speaking, it did not feel that bad at all to be the unique center of perceptionBut I realized I would probably never find any explanation to that fact - and it was depressing. I am the center of perception in the Universe. At least, it is the way I feel it. Although I know that any other person feels the same, this knowledge comes from my daily practice. I can never be 100% sure that other people are conscious. Theoretically, there is a possibility that all other people are philosophical zombies.they act as if they had consciousness, and even if you ask any of them if that person is conscious, they will undoubtedly say “yes” .but it does not prove they are conscious .. they can be “programmed” this way. Of course, it is merely a theoretical possibility, but it cannot be scientifically disproven. As to myself, I am fully aware that I am conscious and not a philosophical zombie. Then a few months ago ..I stumbled upon Leo's solipsism video ..and since then my whole life changed and there is no going back . I awakened to what Leo calls "Absolute Solipsism " I can go even further then the classical concept of solipsism, and I can also deny time .which seems logical (later you will see why). Time is also an illusion produced by my mind and specifically by my memory. It is not possible to prove that the past existed . everything may have appeared just now, with the current state of my memory which cheats me. And it is not possible to prove the future will exist for the same reason .I know about the future based on my previous experience. But if all my previous experience is nothing more than a trick of my mind, then it is very likely there will be no future (as there was no past). All that exists is my mind at the present moment. Period. And so now I'm satisfied with my conclusions. I'm finally at peace of knowing why am I me. Because I'm God. The only being in the universe.
  25. It seems silly now that you have awakened to no-self Tomorrow, in 10 years, or maybe not in the lifetime of this avatar, it could seem similarly silly to claim it is impossible to realize whether or not the cosmos is ultimately real. You never know what is around the next corner of the dream. The key is to stay open, and prepare yourself, for deeper realizations that your ultimate Self is willing to see within your avatar. The profound difference between direct realization and conceptualization is that truth is no longer up for debate. It is beyond ideas and what seems to be, as you must have seen when you directly realized no-self. You are still bound by the dream, as all of us are. Self is more lucid in some avatars than in others, but it is still within the dream. Realizing ultimate reality is awe-inspiring, but afterwards you still get to chop wood and carry water. Done lucidly, even mundane tasks take on a quality that is unimaginable to avatars within whom the Self still patiently waits to realize itself.