Search the Community

@machiavelli This dark field is what appears when you close your "eyes". 1. You don't have a head in first person perspective. You notice how you cannot see your face or your head? You have to look in a mirror. This dark field IS infinity. That is what I've been trying to explain. When you close your eyes and see nothing = boundless nothingness. Infinity. There is no physical space in which infinity stretches out forever. Rather, physical space is just an illusion appearing in your dark field. It's a dream appearing in a screen that is wrapped around you. 2. YOUR experience is all there is RIGHT NOW. But one day you will re-incarnate as another character in another dream. Reality is basically a Virtual Reality game occurring in YOUR dark field. 3. When you sit in your room, you are not really sitting in your room. You "think" you are sitting on planet earth, but notice that planet earth and all of existence appears in YOUR dark field. What you see is shapes, colors, and things that make it seem like you are a physical object, but if you investigate further you will understand that everything you experience appears in this dark field. Reality = The dark field that appears when you close your eyes. There is no other "infinity". YOU ARE IT.

Mushroom Trip Report 011 Nothing crazy here guys, but I did experience an amazing state of consciousness to where I felt like I could take over the world. I also wrote some stuff that may inspire you... March 5th 2022 Taking ginger to relieve nausea is Overpowered. It works really well. I'm expecting an Ego death could happen so I'm going to surrender to that. May contemplate, what is the self, what is death, what is Ego. To help the process. Main Question What is Consciousness? 3.5g of shrooms (vegan chocolate) Was told that this was super potent for Visuals. >It was not. Whatever strain it was, it was not. It was actually the LEAST significant visuals yet. Not like that is the main focus, but Visuals are nice. Ate this whole shroom chocolate bar at 10:09am Not going to lie, I wish I had just taken tea lol. It was a lot of chocolate for me. 30 minutes in, Noticing visuals. >I need to practice tripping, sitting in silence, doing nothing but meditating. Starting at a lower dose, just meditating for 5 hours straight. This feels like a a very serious trip. I feel fear, anxiety, etc. But I'm pretty sure that's just the comeup. I'm realizing that Consciousness work is incredibly serious. More serious than I imagined. You're fucking with the power of reality itself. Very powerful stuff. 40 minutes in, feeling incredibly tired, very dream like. Chewable Ginger tablets are really good, they completely obliterate nausea. How would God define himself? What I've noticed with fear is that it tricks you that's going to be a really long time but that's part of the deception. Once you face it, it's gone. It's not actually going to be that long. It's NOT FEAR. It's getting you to appreciate EVERYTHING I then go on a walk on this beautiful day with my mother, ahem, I mean my trip sitter. >By then I basically threw away my intention. I feel like it would be a lot more productive if I asked that question while on 5meo. I think also I'm just so wrapped up in survival as well, which is also a factor. Plus just my maturity. I still grow from these trips, just some trips are going to be more serious than others. Play this and continue reading... >So there I was, high as fuck, listening to my favourite song. Walking behind my trip sitter, walking the dogs. We were just in the ZONE vibing. Enjoying the shit out of the moment. The weather was PERFECT. Walking with a strut. Confident as fuck. Reality being beautiful as fuck, future looking bright. "THE WORLD HAS NO IDEA WHAT I'M MADE OF!" >Then when we hit a crossroads and we were like "This is it! THIS IS IT!" referring to the beauty of the environment we were in. And she says to be "It's your time." referring to its my time to take on the world. Then my song ends, she gives me the dogs and just bounces, leaving me alone while high as fuck. YOOO, it was the perfect metaphor of foreshadowing of when I'm moving out next month. I think about everything in my life, how this body is going to die, how my parents are going to die, how everybody around me is going to die, how all my favourite teachers are going to die, how reality is not even real, all of my problems, all my troubles, and I carry it all on my shoulders and I say I WANT IT ALL, I LOVE IT ALL. This is the cost of being conscious in this world. The cost of "being alive". >When I get home I just lay on the deck in the beautiful clear blue sky. Mind high, no Visuals. I've already lost my mind in a very fun chaotic way. You know there's a serious survival advantage to going insane. You stop caring about stuff that's not important and only work on the important shit, putting in the time. Not caring at all how you look towards others. Putting in insane amounts of hours and dedication. You're not afraid for it to get ugly. The joker was doing something right... I want to lose my mind loving the world. If there was no imperfection there would be nothing to love. >This was incredibly profound for me. Life is always there to challenge you. You're challenged to love it all. You know, I always imagined death to be like experiencing an infinite alone Blackness forever. That's kind of funny because there's always the assumption that there would be an experiencer to experience the nothingness forever. Like that awareness. I'm attached to awareness itself. Does my awareness ever actually disappear? I'm going to speak a lot about my mother. I want to like create motivational speeches around how much I love people. I need to be able to face the thickest layers of boredom. It is actually in thick layers of boredom does the greatest inspiration happen. I noticed this when I meditate for long periods of time. Practice saying who are you. Some of the most valuable conversations you need to have is just someone listening to your life story. You defining who you are and where you are headed. But we all don't get this opportunity. But don't let that stop you from doing this exercise. This is why the self authoring program is so useful! But just shy of that, talk to yourself about how you define yourself and how you define who you're becoming. >When I was much more sober, I continued to walk in the neighborhood, appreciating the gorgeous mountains all the way down to sunset. You should be excited to grow up. Be excited to grow up. Say no to the lottery. A lot of people have the mindset that they need the lottery to massively change their lives. But that Lottery is never going to come along. Learning how to give that gift to yourself is way more valuable anyways. Direct the movie, produce the movie, watch the movie. That's how you live live your life It it in the moments of solitude that you grow yourself. It is what you do when no one's watching is where you define yourself. This is where you find your character. It is in those moments where you're broken down from the hard work of the day and you still choose to do more. Where you have your vision connecting you to spirit, giving you the energy that you didn't know you had. Entertain ideas beyond you. Beyond what you think you can do, because if you only entertain ideas that you think you do, you stunt your growth. Stop shutting yourself down with ideas of "being realistic". NOBODY has done something great by being realistic. I rather be delusionally optimistic and MISS than pessimistic and HIT. Life will always be a rollercoaster going well. Stop betraying yourself. You're so beautiful that you need to routinely take pictures of yourself. I honestly cannot believe how beautiful I am. You need to think the same way about yourself. The freedom convoy was here a second time but it was quieter. And I was ready. I just didn't care because I knew what it was. Stand in a field alone and self-reflect about life. It is in the moments of solitude, where you very honestly make a decision. That is where growth happens. Those moments where you choose to do what's right for yourself. Environment change is king for personal growth. You should climb a tall ass mountain and enjoy the view. So tall it makes you go WOWWWW!! 5h45 minutes. I'm much more sober and my life even more enriched.

I was one of the lucky few who watched Leo's solipsism video while it was up .and it helped me awaken to myself as God and as the only thing in existence. I'm the only thing in existence. Full stop .every thing Is my dream. Even Leo, the Buddha, christ ,all spiritual teachers and teachings are my Imagining. That's what awakening is . Awakening =complete solipsism. You are God. You are everything and nothing. And I will explain this right now. As far as your actual experience is concerned The universe began at the exact same time that you became conscious. So the big bang is just a story . God creating the universe is just a story . These are just stories as far as your actual experience knows. So as far as your actual experience knows..your life came out of nowhere. Your life came out of nothing. So you are nothingness dreaming up an imaginary universe that's made out of nothingness because its imaginary. So you are nothingness dreaming up an imaginary life .and that imaginary life is made out of nothingness. You are nothingness dreaming up an imaginary universe and the universe is made out of nothingness because its imaginary. So if you want the ultimate truth ..you gonna have to be able to differentiate between your fantasies from reality .you gonna have to differentiate Imagination from reality. Now , reality is imaginary but you need to realize the levels of Imagination that are going on here . So at one level of Imagination..right now you are thinking that there are things outside of these walls of the room that you are in. At another level of Imagination you are thinking that other people are thinking about you. You are not realizing that all of this is imaginary. You are not realizing that when you think of what is outside of these walls of your room..you are not realizing that that's imaginary .you are imagining that right now . Your past ..your entire past ..that past things that you've experienced..that's all imaginary..the past doesn't exist .it's imaginary. Only NOW exists .so this is how you are dreaming this reality. Only now exists .also the future. If you are thinking about the future, what are you doing? You are just imagining. If you think of the past ..what are you doing?You are just imagining. You are Imagining the past .it's not real .it doesn't exist .you're living in eternity. Only now exists Tap into infinite consciousness by realizing that the past does not exist. The past and the future are Imaginary. So what's happening right now is the only thing that exists. And this is going to be a memory as well .so this present moment is also imaginary. And all that made me happier than ever .I finally awoken .thank you Leo (myself ) for helping me awaken to the highest truth in existence. Namaste ?

Seems like pretty much everyone who's had awakenings in this forum agrees that God has certain attributes that are undeniable. Some of them being: -Infinite -All Love -Non-dual -Dreamer -Omni-potent-scient-present -Essentially made of nothing at all, not being located anywhere or anywhen. -Is in an ever going dance between manifest and unmanifest -ONE, absolute, nothing outside of itself. These are the ones I got off the top of my head. Anyway, based on this I wonder for what reason does it have to be this way? And is it actually this way or these "attributes" I speak of are just what is shown to us... as insane and grandiose as they may seem to us, they could just be that to us. I understand God was never born so it may be unexplainable through the use of language but maybe we can pick on a few things to try to get even if just a shallow understanding of the thing. I've noticed the logic that's used here to try to explain God usually goes something like "there's something because nothing needs a contrast" or "actual nothingness (no existence at all, even if just conceptual and relative) cannot exist" or "God is infinite and limitless because there's nothing outside of itself to limit it" but really, aren't these all limitations? Aren't attributes, no matter how absolute, a limitation as well? Think about how only the present moment exists, no matter what it shapeshifts into... How does God even think to itself or know what it wants to turn into? How does it pull out what it wants to be or experience from an infinity of finite "dreams"? Does it just choose sort of like randomly because it's all "love" (which is probably more like just total acceptance) so whatever it pulls out from his infinity he will experience and is okay, so if he were to pull out (and I'm obviously being biased with this example) the life of a human in the Middle East who will be raped, tortured and suffer like hell slowly losing his family one by one and after that be mutilated by a terrorist group, then that's it? That's what it (God) received out of his infinite magic dream box so that's what will play out. Is this more or less how God "thinks" and "acts"? (dual-language, I know). I don't know how else to frame this honestly. I get that I simply can't grasp it, but maybe some of you have gotten some takeaways about this on your trips; would love to know your thoughts. As a side note, if I'm neither in America nor Europe do they not exist? The war between Russia and Ukraine is all a story that never happened and is currently not happening?

@machiavelli You're not getting it still - hope this helps. There is one instance of consciousness "on" at once. There cannot be another "consciousness" because that would imply a separate being from God or infinity. The problem is that you keep thinking of Infinity as a *thing* - instead of a BEING. Infinity is an infinitely conscious being. That being is YOU. Because Time is a construct OF the dream, you invented it. Your life is the only thing in existence right now, because God is only dreaming ONE instance of this eternal now / eternal dream. But the experiences of other "people" are REAL because YOU will one day experience them, and because your current character's life already exists in the mind of God, you will encounter THIS character in that life / dream, and only YOUR experience will be total then as well. You have been sitting here. Right here. For eternity. Because you are God, are you are eternal, nothingness, pure mind existing in ZERO dimensions, as dimensions are themselves imagined by this infinite mind. IMPORTANT: Basically all lives, lifetimes and narratives for all of existence, already exist as *imagination* in the mind of God. It is like a system. When you need to interact with your "friend", your mind/god re-calibrates everything around you to consumate the possibility into another experience in the dream. But you are all alone, it's your own mind doing everything. That mind is the same mind in me, and in every being that ever existed. All lives are real experiences, and guess who will live those experiences that you currently label as "others"? That's right. You.

If I am dreaming every perspective at separate times, how does dream order work of what comes before/after what? Why can't I reveal stuff from other dreams to my current dream? So instead of it being the person in the bed dreaming the dream, it is nothingness dreaming it; and likewise, nothingness is dreaming being awake. I was previously thinking it was the russian doll method where we have daydreams but the daydreams aren't aware of us and God has daydreams of us but we aren't aware of God - and that God could be experiencing all dreams/perspectives at the same time. So the reason one can access awakening without using psychedelics is because they have to be aware of when they are meditating when they go into a daydream and then come out of it and see it does not match the current surroundings and then because everything seen externally comes from internal, that too is imagined like a daydream as well and then note the nothingness of how the daydream doesn't exist physically other than as imagination. If one is so focused on exploring the dream, they may overlook the dream and inside/outside head concept. How would one ever experience omnipresence/God/full consciousness if one is dreaming from a limited perspective? The scientific idea of evolution no longer makes any sense - the idea that life came from replicating self mRNA and eventually evolved to all these organisms. I don't know how other stuff would be able to dream in the same way humans/cats/lizards can. So then, "it came to me in a dream" is kinda like one dream being able to talk to another... And people's notion of "reincarnation" is kinda like where you go from dreaming from one perspective to another - but yet you are still the imaginary nothingness. A peer said that near death experiencers experienced being the galaxies but that doesn't necessarily make sense unless the russian doll method applies or I am still thinking about it wrong. So then technically "god" doesn't have to dream out the main character in every perspective either necessarily.

I am absolute imagination. What I imagine is Absolute Truth. I am identical to whatever I am imagining. So if I am sitting, taking a shit on a toilet, I am that toilet absolutely. You are mistaking "imaginary" here to mean "unreal". But it's the opposite. Imagination is reality. Yes and no. Yes in that that dimension is pure Infinity (empty consciousness). No in that emptiness is identical form. What's doing the imagining is Emptiness/Nothingness. But they are also identical. A blank canvas and a painting are identical, occupying the same location.

@Loba Yeah that's such a beautiful thing how truly equal we all are, it's very hard to truly feel the equality when we have been brought up to either spit on people or worship people... shadow work man that was really nice to read and reminded me always and everyone has a desire for goodness sometimes in fucked up ways but it's just there, you can always see the glimmer of soul no matter how attached you get, even in the old people wanting to fucking die already, it's still there if you get close enough to them. I was asking because sometimes I see people who get involved with spirituality who become very reclusive or inactive from maybe there understanding of nothingness and all that shit, and I just don't get it, i'm trying to understand it

Not being an expert I get confused with this side of QM. On one hand we have "many worlds" envisioned as bubbles of spacetime in hyperspace. It's believed that there are potentially an infinite number of these "bubble universes". Then there's parallel universes suggested as an answer to the double slit experiment. Some posit that the unrealised potential of waves that are rendered tangible by observation don't disappear but move into alternate realities. Either way, infinite possibilities need not necessarily mean that all possibilities are realised. Many possibilities will still be on the universe's "to do list" when it degenerates into black holes an then near nothingness. The chances of the universe reproducing an exact replica of you are extremely remote and the chances are that it will run through many other more likely permutations before getting to the "repeat Therammo" and "repeat Greta" possibilities.

@Someone here Really good stuff. Thanks for sharing. When the others say, enjoy the dream (makes me think of hedonism for some reason haha), deconstructing the dream can be fun too haha - like what you just did. It is funny how parents tell their kids - you have to go to school and get a job - when the kid didn't ask to be born and didn't ask to have to do any of that. But then well reality is here. Did reality ask to be here? Maybe we/it did/does, maybe not. If we started telling the souls/egos - hey I am programming you and here is how, would that be better? I sometimes give a fuck about age/career/beliefs because then I can ask the person about various things I have/(am) programmed myself to be interested in If we forget the story/programming, it can feel like nothingness and sometimes we are bored and just want to experience something because we are here and what else is there to do. What else is there for reality to do other than be/experience reality in different ways? Our experience is what we see/imagine and if we saw/imagined nothing, we may experience nothing - - so it can be nice to still get to see/imagine stuff. I think for many, the games don't seem fake to them - - but yeah the construct/concept/programming of everything is like the mechanism, the filter, the code, the stuff to look at The joy of getting to see/imagine oneself seeing/imagining and how oneself is doing that You (we) are also already messed up in the relative eyes of God too - which is fun because then we get urges to change stuff (to reprogram it based on what our current programming wants it to be) When I think of being in the middle of infinite reality - it makes me curious as to what could be to come in the other middles (but again programmed myself to be curious)

I lately wrote the topic " I woke to the GOD. Death is the only whey to forget?' (sorry for my English, i'm not a native speaker) Thank you so much for all your help there, and also i want to send all the love to : @Kksd74628 @Godishere @Tim R They helped me on priv, so much!! i don't know what would i do, without them. Background: i've had spiritual experience for over 2-3 years, 16-17 trips, (lsd,shrooms,dmt). I mediate every day, lately for 2h a day. Also, I've had some retreats, on which it was 7-8h meditation daily. Almost every tip, till last, was pretty easy, some were challenging, but overall it was rather calm. I've experienced pure nothingness, no-dual states, i've seen my reflection in face on my girlfriend, i had God experience on DMT, when everything and everyone dispreaded, there was no time, only infinity etc. It was all ok. Dosage: 3 days ago, i took 250 uq LSD. I had one trip on 400uq, and it was nothing like that. Trip: After 1h i went to the God state. To the point, I exactly saw God everywhere. The floor was made of God, air was pure God, walls were God, which obviously is all me. I knew that, there was no going back, cause even if i go to the hospital, i can't meet anyone other than God, which is me. If I take some pills, it's going to be only self-deception to forget. I was deceiving my-self all the time, that i'm not God, it was obvious to me. it was all fine, i knew it was the case. But then i went to the bedroom, to talk with my girlfriend, she took LSD too. She was in GOD-state as well. She told me, that "I'm God" i don't why, but i felt like God, which is me, perfectly designed every aspect of my life, from birth, to this moment, and now, it's speaking to me, by the mouth of my girlfriend. I sat down on the bed, to look outside the window.... and all the people in the next building were gone. All the lights in their flats went down. I said "what? Am i really GOD?" there's no-one else? , she said, "yes". Then all the buildings collapsed into me. Weather started to change pretty rapid. Time stopped. Out of my pure imagination. I was 100% sure, that my-small-self died, and i'm out of the dream and i can't go back. There was only face of my girlfriend left. So i said, " really? i was God all my life? i'm dead now?" And then something happened, which shocked me to the core. That was the moment i felt like i want to go back, and forget. That was the moment i regret that i was even alive. The horror: i looked at my girlfriend eyes. It was all sparky with life as always, but suddenly it was gone. I was looking to the dead eyes, completely without a life. The woman i love, was not only dead, but she was empty and shallow. Dark. Void. She was like a withered flower. Like empty costume. It was the most horrifying things i saw in all my life. I was all alone, staring into the empty void of my girlfriend's eyes. Every fucking horror is a joke compare to that. With tears i asked " are you there?" and then i saw like life is going back to her. Her eyes went sparky again. But at that point, all the solipsism horror was unbearable. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted only cease to exist. I don't want to live with knowledge like that. I don't want to be alive with costume-people. It was pure-fuckig-madness-hell. My post on forum: At this moment I tried to write a post here, on the forum. But i knew, i couldn't get any advice from no one, because even actualize.com and Leo Gura is pure fucking imagination, only to cheat me into thinking, that there are others. I'm here, alone, trapped in this empty-shallow-world, to the infinity. It's Only me. I can't die, i can't escape. I wrote every music there is, i wrote every book, it was always only me!! fuck! i wanted to know infinity, and it turned out to be fucking back-mirror-hell. I wrote this post anyway, but i knew, i was talking only to my-self, and my infinite imagination. After the trip: Next 48h i couldn't sleep. I was crying, and shacking on the floor. I couldn't eat. I wanted only to die, and forget. Right now: People on this forum helped me with going through this. Today, after 6-7h of sleep, i'm back to the "old-self" and i don't see imagination and God everywhere. Thank God! Any idea what went wrong, and how do i integrate this? You guys said God-realization it's all about love, and i got fucking horror X1000 to the infinity. Thank you, for all your support. Personally, i think my "ego" still corrupts this forum solipsism, and i feel it through an illusion of separated self. But i don't know.

A person and an alien walk towards a signpost. To the human it looks like it walked a distance of 100 metres and the signpost itself is like, a pole with a wooden arrow (w.e.). To the alien, it may well look like it walked 5 metres, and the post itself might look like an eagle heiroglyph or some shit (because there's no reason this couldn't happen). But both the human and the alien reach the "signpost". Its actuality can't be anything perceived, so it can't actually be "like" anything. As in, that is not just a theory, it's impossible anything could be "like" something without perception. So wtf is it. It has to be nothing, because things are perceptions. But the nothing has some kind of shape and form to it, so beings with completely alien subjective experiences can agree there is "SOMETHING" there. What is the mechanism for the placement of "unspecified-nothingness-thing"? Are infinite versions of the same thing there at once? What is it though, that places it "there" at a specific spot in the landscape.....

"Things" are made of perception. E.g. falling tree = no sound, as the thud is a product of the mind in response to a stimulus... Floating teacup is made of shapes/color (sight) and feel (touch). No teacup symbol when not observed. Other humans are made of perceptions. You don't actually have a face when you are alone lmfao. Because it's made out of sight, and without a mirror you don't see it (maybe you can see your nose kinda, or eyebrow hairs)... I guess we can feel it... But it's not "looking like" a face until a perception makes it look that way. Remove all perceiving of other people and see them vanish into nothingness. Imagine standing in a noisy crowded train station...... You go completely deaf, the chatter ends, everything goes silent. You go completely blind, the crowd vanishes. They are still there, but now you see their true "default" form: Nothingness. Which is I think also infinity... There is nowhere for them to be other than right back here... See all locations and perceptions in general appear to the same field which is itself 100% static. No matter what person it is, they're always going to find themselves static locked "here", and "otherness" seemingly locked in the "out there"... Of course the "out there" is a mental projection as described.

so is it truth if i say that i'm absolute nothingness/love, so everything around me is everything yet nothing?

Am I imagining the memories, the past, the now, the soul, the mind, the body, the experiences, and all, of all that I perceive, including "my" own, being the pure dimensionless void that "i" am? Am I like the void that is appearing and imagining itself into nothingness of the void?

Formless=Form Nothigness refers to pure formless Love from which everything is made of. Nothingness=Form=everything

"I" and "you" are bad words do describe the self ime. The self which is pure beingness is devoid of any sense of I. It's devoid of any sense altogether. No self is good definition of it imo. My favorite definition of self is just nothingness. And nothingness is not an I. And nothingness is not a you. It's just beyond everything. Like isness. Isness can't be called an I. It just is. Not word can define isness. Not even "I" or "you".

I've been observing and enjoying all of the solipsism "debates" going on here the past week or so but can't help but think that we are all falling to a trap of language. Using words like "you" or "I" while always qualifying which version of said words you're referring to seems a pretty inaccurate way to convey the Absolute. "You" and "I" are very dualistic terms that are ultimately false. Language creates separation where none physically exist. I think if we emphasize the qualitative nature of Self by using the suffix "ness" we would get around a lot of these stupid debates. When we think that there is only infinite "I-ness" it becomes easier to conceive of how "others" don't exist but rather that "you" are simply nothingness experiencing/feeling the particular body and life that "you" are dreaming.

I'm in an altered state. Other people are created unconsciously via perception. What gives another person "thingness" is the same perception that gives dead inert matter its "thingness", in other words it's via sensing that other people are created as "things". A bat may perceive a person with its sonar vision, but of course the "thingness" of the person rendered via the bat would be completely alien, as the person would be made of sonar sight. From a human perspective, the people are created in audio, visual, etc. it's perception that gives them human shape and the sound of their voice. A blind person's creation of a human is alien to a sighted person's representation of the same. There is nothing preventing a human from appearing as tiny symbols or sounding like foghorns, the creation is entirely subjective. Many people can agree on what the symbol represents, but the symbol itself will be subjective to the perceptions of the individual. The fakeness of time allows for backlogging of events. There is no event you are not present for. If you enter a coma, coming out of that coma you will learn of people's prior experiences whilst you were in that coma. The assumption is that your presence was not there while those events happened. In actuality the presence remained. The events took place instantaneously and presently, as do all events. The entire material world is subjective like a dream, in that it is made up of perceptions and something akin to """imagination""". Like the creation of people, the whole material world is created on the fly via perception consisting of whatever sensory input that may be. Something which is not perceived cannot have "thingness" because any "thingness" is reliant on perception. Water boils if you walk out of the room, but it is not in the kitchen LOOKING or SOUNDING like a boiling kettle. Without perception it is not a thing. All things without perception appear like the world when you are in a coma. It doesn't appear at all and there is no passage of time and space. The passage of time and space is something that is perceived. Without perception all events are immediate and without thingness. All events leading up to now were immediate. All living beings reside within you. There is no external material world. All points of view take place within you through different masks which is what the ego is. When another human being experiences reality the "I" which creates reality around them, consisting of their sensory creations, is the same one residing back within you. The entire world from any perspective appears from the same "I" through which the world is subjectively crafted around you. All of reality is subjective as all "thingness" is subjective. Objective facts which make up "consensus reality" are sort of like mass hallucination. It's not the ego self which creates reality, the ego self creates a subjective representation of a reality which is outside the scope of its limited self. The imagination/creation of unperceived elements is outside the scope of the small-s self. Another human being is like a visual avatar representing an element of your own mind. Your OWN self is also a representation of an aspect of your own mind, and is equally as unreal as "others". You don't choose your thoughts, and you don't choose the thoughts of others. It all appears unfolding by itself within the same field. Lucidity will always be lost. That is good. I'm losing lucidity right now and that is good. When lucid you only exit the game like stirring from a nighttime dream. It is fleeting and falling back asleep is inevitable. This process is forever. Any interpretation of goodness or badness is subjective to the ego like any appearance is. Nothing can in actuality be inherently good or bad, as good or bad is reliant upon the interpretation of the individual, which itself will of course always just be an appearance taking place within existence. It crafts its actuality via subjective perception. The sheer awareness of this supercedes all reality, as all reality can only ever be an appearance within it, obviously. I.e., no matter what sensory "things" appear, it will always be reliant upon awareness to give it an actuality. Without awareness, the visual representations along with time and space have no actuality, like being comatose there is no "thing" in absence of awareness. Awareness cannot be destroyed because it is by itself nothingness, and there is nowhere for nothingness to go, and no way to destroy nothingness. This is the meaning of emptiness: Awareness by itself is nothing, and the contents of awareness robbed OF that awareness are also nothing. Nothing can "be" without the presence of awareness as it is all skipped over like a coma. Time and space are a form of substrate through which experience takes place. Without experience there is, obviously, no experience of time and space. Now I have lost lucidity... Oh well...

@Kksd74628 I don't think its possible to ever use words to convey nothingness. Even ____ is something that a mind can create concepts/images around. I feel its better to use words that are close to it. I think "I" is a pretty good word. What is not "I" can be talked about with verbal precision.

Insights after 2 LSD trips. 1st: 310μg - Jan 28th - 2022 2nd: 130μg - Feb 19th - 2022 (surprisingly much deeper) •"Reality" is no different than mental imagery or a thought process. The only difference is that it's predictable, arguably consistent & Grounded. You are also imagining and constructing these qualities with the same exact mechanism of thinking, sense-making, imagining & contextualizing. •All fears, insecurities, ups & downs, Even subtle things as mood swings are all deliberately placed and intelligently designed. Even fear isn't arbitrary. •Fear is automatic when creation is willed into existence. As your Oneness is absolute love. It's gracefully magnificent. Once it separates itself, fear is the automatic dualistic response. Since you only fully understand yourself as the God head, when you separate yourself infinitely you literally don't know what the fuck is there. And so the Love simulator begins. Finding, owning & accepting all of the infinite pieces. And yes. It's very obvious that this will go on forever. •To exist is to fear. Fear is also Love. •God is an Infinite art generator. It's a mystery to itself & the game it plays is none other than a game of trying to love & own whatever the generator pops out. •Fear of the unknown isn't arbitrary. The only way fear at all can be totally erased is that if God stopped imagining/ separating itself. When that happens, everything collapses into a singularity of infinite symmetry, self acceptance, love & ultimate understanding. •You'll sort of move from Desktop mode to a screensaver that plays an infinite loop of absolute nothingness. •Understanding is how the nothingness reacts to it's own grasp on itself. •God is inevitable. Since everything is God itself, without it knowing or not. It is everywhere. It's the every and the where. It is ISness itself too. There is absolutely nothing that is not God. •The Oneness of God removes everything. Every explanation for God is and isn't God at the same time. •Once you even have a thinking voice, you're creating a duality and deceiving yourself. •All self-deception is by choice & is intelligently placed. •God is consciously unconscious. •For God to grasp itself it has to contract all of its forms, including thoughts. •Fooling yourself into thinking you're a sack of meat and then discovering that you are actually a formless infinitely eternal mind that is all powerful, all knowing & all present is just how God jerks off to itself. •Creation is as effortless as imagining whatever. Yet it's hyper intelligent. •Memory & past experience is the most powerful grounding mechanism one has. •Self reflection is the only show running. You self-reflect as God because you love yourself as God. So you are exciting and intriguing to your own self. •Fear is the mirror for Love to witness it's beauty. •Everything is ultimately sexual & orgasmic. Divinity is just sexuality times infinity. •There are no other bubbles of consciousness. At the highest level of complete sovereignty and absolute consciousness, You are completely alone. •"Other" are nothing but infinite holographic images/ forms or appearances that happen not to just be visual. And you make sense of whatever is being said with your internal "database" let's say. This database is also the one creating the imagery. This is where the confusion happens and where the duality of the absolute & the relative gets created. •When you're talking to someone, it's the exact same process as you having an internal dialogue. The reason there's a duality is that you can predict your own thoughts to a certain extent. Whilst the other is just another infinity within the absolute, thus decently unpredictable & it's not an NPC dialogue. •Fear is why anything exists. Fear is a form preservation tool. It's like you picked one image that the infinite generator popped and loved it so much you wanted to keep it running. In other words, you got attached, and you distract yourself from the finitude of this image. •You are "you" by choice. There's nothing outside of you to make this choice for you, or to take it away from you. •Everything is precisely the way that it is because it's the maximum expansion of your love. •The only way for you to enjoy your own drama is by getting immersed in it and completely forgetting about making it. •Notice that completely forgetting includes forgetting that you forgot. •Ego is God's puppet. Ego's suffering, foolishness and self-deception is how God plays. •Your "life" goes on forever. •The only way you can experience yourself is by limiting yourself. •Absolute Truth is the realization of no absolute truth(s) •All of your explanations for reality are imaginary. •Your spiritual journey/ pursuing awakening is imaginary. •No one has ever died outside of your conscious experience, and all of these events were nothing but plot. •God is formless. And by formless I don't just mean visually. God is sovereign, glorious, divine, graceful & also childish, sarcastic, foolish, and literally just the best meme lord there is. •Enlightenment is the biggest inside joke and it's between nobody. •The transformation from a human body with limbs into a formless cosmic singularity feels like you sunk your teeth deep into a pillow, and it turned into a cloud in your mouth. •God has nothing to do but to understand & love more and more of itself forever. •God is so magnificent it cannot not share itself. It overwhelms itself with how amazing it is. It's sort of a childish/ innocent sense of WOW I AM AMAZING. But the heartbreaking thing is that there's absolutely nobody to look at you and tell you that. So you create/ Imagine Other, starting with the Human you're navigating life as. You love this little human so much that the only one who can see you fully is Him/ Her. Until of course you both merge & this duality collapses. •There is no point for God to play God. Obvious, right? There's nothing but God, Therefore God does not have or need a sense of self, since it IS the only one True self. There are no other Gods to outcompete, and all beings are also it. So It has no reason to play the game of domination. It's all alone. •As sad as it sounds, God creates and plays these games of being hidden and feared by people (also god) just so that can feel it's power when it unravels it all. •God is taking you on a journey of showing you how great and beautiful it is. You are both the mirror & the face in it. •The mechanism through which you create/ imagine/ will reality into existence is absolutely effortless. •You cannot predict reality/ yourself. So your life goes like this: 1-You wanna go try a new restaurant. 2-You automatically have a preconceived image of how it's going to unfold as a sensory experience 3-You actually go there & find out it's different in many ways. 4-You fool yourself into thinking there's such a thing as actuality. Or you begin to compare present experience to the mental image. The mental image is also the absolute (lower case a)/ Since it is still being imagined within mind. While the direct experience is the Absolute (upper case A) Since it actually IS. So if your mental Image had an oval-shaped food plate in mind & what IS in front of you is a circular plate, BOTH are God, both are consciousness, But in different orders, let's say. •You weren't God, then started unconsciously dreaming as a human and then bam! One day you awoken back to yourself as God! No. This is just a story you imagined. All of these chapters and phases are just entertainment for yourself as God. •Since your sense of self is also within your consciousness, you cannot escape yourself. There was never an ego to kill or to erase. Yet it had to be designed this way so you could play the game. •Every form of suffering, whether you went through or "others" have, is designed in such a way through which you can self reflect and appreciate yourself. •Every time you were not grateful for what you have has also been designed so that when you awaken you can actually taste your own divinity. You can then appreciate your beauty and magnificence. •Society, culture, dogma, etc. Are not unconscious Egos running a randomly selfish show against the will of God. This is just for suspense. It's all you. The way cults and religions are designed in this way is so that -(as childish as it sounds)- You feel special. You get to be an undercover GOD. •Since there's no difference between Ego and God, your sense of self is in a very twisted way God's greatest compliment to itself. It gets to think with a voice, to actually have a form through you. And most importantly it gets to create a hero's journey through you. •There's no such thing as falsehood. Everything is divine. Including what you'd consider weird, uncanny or nonsensical. •There's absolutely Nothing to do as the "raw" Formless God. I mean, you couldn't even entertain yourself with thoughts, or explanations about Yourself or even Life. There is just Pure I AM-ness. It's like you were playing an exciting video Game that you got immersed in for YEARS, and then you turned everything off and sat there. You realize in this state why you want your life back, but also exactly as the way it was. You wanna resume from the last checkpoint. And only then you realize how untouchable and eternal you are. You also realize Will. With just the THOUGHT of wanting your Life back, you instantly will it all back into existence. •When you sleep you actually wake up to your nature as infinite imagination, so you dream. When you "wake up" from your sleep, you're actually sleeping. •Sleep is you exiting the game and dreaming up another one. God realization is you Turning the whole machine off and taking a break. •Your dreams and their inconsistent funky nature ARE the alternative you have to "solid reality" thus you buy deeper into the illusion because you have something to compare. •You fooled yourself into actually thinking that some other human is perfect, so that when you eventually get to accept your imperfections you gain a sense of power. •God designed/ is designing the illusion to crack it. You're not "trapped" here. • God is too powerful even for it's own Self-deception, and it knows so. • Everything that you take for granted is the hard base of maintaining the illusion. •You are not every human being that ever lived, is living or will ever live. You're imagining past, present, future & the idea of human beings. •You are deceiving yourself by creating a sense of scale, imagining things like a "Universe", "Society". •You are a movie screen. Like a montage of a 1st person video game. Notice how the drama pops out. Notice how nothing has any good/bad significance unless it bounces off you. •Your direct experience is not just the only experience "you" have of reality. It's the only experience. Period. It's also the Only reality. •When you look at someone that's holding a coffee cup, you can effortlessly imagine their POV. You can even feel the hot cup, you can even taste & smell the coffee, and if you wanted you can look at yourself and see yourself through their eyes. THIS is how you're exactly imagining and creating an entire being that's holding a hot drink. You're not imagining neurons and biology and bones and a heart, etc. It's just a fucking image, and you're projecting all of this onto it. •If you're inside your house, there is actually no outside. If you go outside to verify, there is no inside. Both are images held within consciousness. You're never really anywhere. •Your bodily center of gravity that you feel is actually the empty ever flowing center of infinity. When you FULLY awaken your collapse deep into this feeling and you enter a free fall that ceases to have any weight. •Ever played an open world video game and pushed both main and side missions to the side just so that you can explore the world, the graphics, collect loot, and mess with NPCs? After a while of doing this, the game starts feeling very hollow. You predict every animation, what types of enemies spawn where in the world and how, etc. And everything begins to feel mechanical as the immersion slowly dissipates and you begin to feel like the main character is just you, the human player & not the in-game protagonist. What do you do to ground yourself back into the game world? You start a mission! NPCs talk to you, you get to finally hear your character use dialogue! And bam you're in baby There are consequences, choices to make & a role to play. All happening within a narrative. And for maximum enjoyment, the narrative is unpredictable. It's delicious, it's exciting. •You can't "unimagine" anything. Why? 1- You don't actually want to (as God) since nothing is controlling you. 2- every possible imagination is yourself, so can't really disown or deny anything that's You. (In some sense you can and you do so, that's how the Ego got created) 3- whatever you imagine is also absolutely nothing at the same time lmao.

@Leo Gura There is only one way in which the creation of other minds must necessarily mean that there is nobody 'on the other side' of the minds that are created by me, and that is that nothing exists also at my side. Otherwise it would have to be a belief from speculative rationalism. So the question becomes then if it is the same type of nothing which the idea is founded upon that exists 'on the other side' that you refer to when you say that you do not exist? By other words, for people who have not directly experienced this nothingness are never actually even considering solipsism. Self inquiry with the guide of others (you can lol at that) have made it obvious to me that whatever entity i refer to, be it a thing or a someone, I refer back to my creation of them. Though at the same time it is far from obvious I created the space, time or magnitude etc. they must be created within. As in had they not been created in these elements then I had thereby no such element to refer to them in now.

On a blank page lies every book that has ever been written, or could ever be written, every combination of gibberish that could ever be written. It's full of infinite potential, pure nothingness which also contains every possibility, until you make that first mark. Man, I think this is like the third time in the past month I've used the quote here, but: God is everything and nothing as no word. And with a single word comes finite creation. Is awakening the backspace or undo button?

I think I can follow the solipsism idea pretty well, but here is where I get a little bit lost. Is the past also imaginary, even the first-hand experiences we've had ourselves? Obviously stuff like WWII, even our own birth, ie. anything we didn't directly witness is imaginary. But what about our life yesterday, or even a second ago? Is the entire idea of time passing an illusion? There is really only the present moment and I imagined even my own life up until now? I understand that the idea of death is imaginary, or at least purely conceptual. I have never died myself, only witnessed other characters in the dream dying. But is it possible for us to know what happens after death? Or if death is even possible? Are we are stuck in a present moment, essentially immortal? Is the idea of my body aging up to this point also a lie, so I don't have to worry about getting old and dying? Or is dying possible in the same sense of waking up completely? I get that if death is possible, everyone else and the world and universe will all blink out with us. But assuming death is possible, what happens after? Is it just absolute nothingness? How do we differentiate the scientific nothingness that awaits after death from the spiritual absolute nothingness of god? Is there possibility of starting over as a new character in an entirely different dream? How would god go from nothing back to something? Or is this unknowable?

It got 'separated' the moment God created, and the creation confused itself with more creation stuff instead of its source: God. I am not separating or limiting God. God is nothingness. Creation separates itself from God, but it's not a real separation, it's a 'created' separation by the creation itself, because it uses creation (ie. thoughts, knowledge, physical reality) to do it. Or in other words, God imagines and the imagination itself starts to take on an identity that is false, and then this identity creates evil because it does so from its false identity, not God identity which is all loving because it needs nothing. The false identity becomes prominent in the space of nothingness that is God, and the false identity takes on a life of its own (through the nothingness/Light of God), and so then does actions to benefit such false identity. It is alive through God and at the same time dead if it is not grounded (self-aware) in itself - God. That's why the dead (imagination) comes to life when it grounded in Truth. This is True. Yet Your imagination takes on a life of its own through You. (even if it is not really life compared to eternal You). the concept of life is the result of your imagination taking off and building on itself to create an Ego. You absolutely did create the ego because you created your parents and you created whatever was taught to you, which built up an elaborate sense of self. All of this stuff I am talking about is the imagination of God, being interpreted through the lenses of his imagination. If you are God, then you are Nothing. Yet You imagine 'sensations' 'thoughts' 'biological urges' and go get a drink of water, and say hello to your wife, and take the garbage out. There's nothing wrong with the Creation You built. What's 'wrong' with creation via the imagined understanding is that we think we're people that need to protect ourselves and become god-like (so the thoughts try to become godlike) and so evil actions because the thoughts build up a false reality grounded in a thought, instead of God. You write up this post because you imagined that there is someone you need to type to. but see, it's not the eternal You, because You is nothing, it is the thought/sense of you (imagined) that is driving (imagined) you to type (imagined) the post to me (imagined) but don't confuse the imagination of God with actual God.