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The universe is knowable. Completely. Theories and concepts are smaller than the universe. There will never be a theory encompassing the whole Existence, except if you would call the whole Existence a "theory." Best toe I know: Reality is One Infinite Singularity that is fundamenally identical to nothingness. Nothingness has no limits and is therefore infinite. This nothingness / infinity is one unified thing and can only create the illusion of separation but never be actually seperated. It creates this illusion because through this illusion many beautiful experiences become possible, like sharing love with an "other."

What do you think a soul is? If you try to find a thing inside of you anywhere, that you can call your soul, you never will. You can only be it, never find it. Because what you are is essentially literally nothing at all, and it's kinda easy to show... And if you think a soul is "your" consciousness then it's topsy turvy, because you have never had consciousness, nothing and nobody has. It's the literal nothingness you are inside. You are in it. There is nothing in you.

Hallucinations, probably. You can't actually be an eternal being if you have a beginning. So if you are born at a certain point in time, and only from then live eternally in one direction, you're always measurably finite even as the number of years becomes uncountable. Which is what all the heaven BS is all about with all these loved one's spirits. You were never born. Your life didn't begin and doesn't end, meaning, your life didn't begin when you were born. This entire character and life is inside literally nothing, and that nothing, as you would expect of nothingness, doesn't have any start point or end point. I think all these NDEs, astral projection etc, I think it's just hallucinations.

I had a particular type of dream that is in a similar fashion to yours, when I was a kid. I believe it was a recurring dream or that I had glimpses of it or something like that. The dream consisted of a big steamroller wheel made of some sort of stone.And this wheel was floating in a white endless space. This wheel turned so slow, that it almost didn't move, but I knew it was moving because the slowness of this wheel was what I felt as dreadfuly slow for me to even watch. And infront of this wheel, was generations and generations of human civilization, that was eventually going to get crushed in a painfully slow, and inevitable way by this wheel. This wheel as I understood it as a kid, represented eternity. All that was and ever will remain, was this slow turning wheel in infinite white space and nothing more. It was the begining, the end, and beyond time itself. I woke up in existential terror from this dream, and I could not shake off the feeling of it being just a dream because the message felt like a deep realization rather than a silly fantasy, and this dream wasn't like any other dream I have had prior to this one either despite other dreams being more vivid and all. I think I also feared this wheel, beacause when it appeared, there was no possible interaction with it. It was a slow grinding wheel in empty white space. Any concept or thought or even time itself, was part of what was going to be grinded slowly into nothingness and remain like this forever. It's impossible to describe the absence of time, but that eternal emptiness was what I was felt in that dream.

@MrTouchdown read the first link I posted in your other thread, non-existence and nothingness are the same thing. It's up to you to decide or figure out what you think "exist" means. It's a primary word or thing of which there is no other likeness to compare it to since existence is seemingly all there is. I could maybe say "exist" means "to be" but that's just more descriptions. It could mean "X is so" or "X is true" People can equate "truth" with "what exists". "A is true" also means "A is so", "A exists". It's in the domain of common sense to most people, what exist means. So you're questioning that common sense? If you're questioning that common sense, you must have more thoughts to say on the matter or some confusion/not-knowing which can be more precisely articulated

@MrTouchdown I've thought a bit about non-existence recently. I basically equate nothingness and non-existence, in what I was doing here. I basically feel myself to be in some boundary between existence and non-existence, and tortured for it -- There's also this interesting quote I came across saying that evil is neither a being nor a good (relation to "non-existence") "evil doesn't exist, but it's precisely its nonexistence that makes it evil" A very interesting idea for evil, I can tell something's there (,as it fuses with my lucid dream thoughts and unconscious thoughts about black holes) But on personal level, I just think this world is evil in nature intrinsically (and I made the mistake of internalising that evil) https://nobulart.com/the-ai-vampire/ https://nobulart.com/the-parasitic-infection/ -- One thing you might intuitively consider then maybe is "actual things" vs "virtual/non-existent things", if say you wanted to navigate the world and found some things to be more real and truthful than other things. Virtual entities being phantoms and illusions which are empty.

Yesterday I had a LSD trip, roughly 150ug. I've done around 15 trips in the past and this one has been by far the most profound experience I have had. The come up was quite nice, relaxing and I felt my consciousness level rising. I slowly became more and more aware with each hour, I felt present and I felt free. Yet, there was this lingering thought: there's something I can't quite grasp. What is it? Who Am I? I had this thought in my head like some puzzle, trying to figure out, like one simple question: WHO AM I? Would solve all my problems. And then I sat down, crossed my legs, and began meditating. In an instant, I felt absorbed in the nothingness, "I" was there, but "I" was also everywhere. I could feel my body, but I could also feel like I am the whole room. The sounds around me became extremely clear and I could hear every single voice or movement around me. And then this sudden feeling of pure freedom arose. I was completely empty, I was no one. My mind was completely free, I felt purified. I felt like I have finally awoken. For the next time period (very hard to grasp time on LSD) I was just laying there, crying and laughing. It was all so simple. It was all so pure. Pure beauty everywhere. I also felt energy pulsating through my whole body, shaking in random body parts of mine. The remainder of my trip was quite nice, I went outside, and It was hard for me to grasp this "new" reality I am in. Everything was just so vibrant, so alive, in completely different colors. I was sure I had my first enlightement experience, but I am afraid to put some sort of label on it and then "fool myself". I read that once you have your enlightenment experience, there's no way to mistake it for something else. Yet my ego is now backlashing hard and telling me, that it's all just fake and I am simply coming down. So which one is it?

Tier 2 transcends and includes all of the Tier 1 stages. Survival is a prerequisite for existing in a finite human form. When you cease surviving, you no longer have a spiral dynamics stage, you simply merge into Nothingness/Infinity

After 500-1000 ketamine experiences, in light of Leos last blog, here are some messages over the years I had written down after my trips, maybe they resonate with you: Ethereal fabric substance of nothingness creating somethingness, thisness, as this out of an infinite number of infinite choices is the only thing worth creating, every moment is infinitely precious Pulling away reality piece by piece: as you pulled away the last piece, you will realize reality was telling you the same message every single time you pulled away the piece, but it took until there were no more pieces left, for you to finally confront the message God is the only possible author that wrote the only script that could be possibly written, by the only protagonist that could only ever had been cast, expressed infinitesimally precise in the only way it could have been told; by you As you come to understand, youll begin to understand theres only you that could possibly understand it Reality is so complex, no matter how much you understand, you are always infinitely far from understand its complexity, until you do understand, and in that moment there was never anything to understand

the suffering is not that bad. it is a small price to bring together the work of art, the perfect tapestry. the wonder of the matter, its intricate genius, goes far beyond what a human mind can grasp. out of empty nothingness arises a dance that starts out simple and blends into this explosion of unimaginable beauty and genius that it is right now. God himself marvels at the wonder of his genius. each of your thoughts is sublime art. every breath, every blade of grass, every exhaust pipe spewing shit, every industrial pig slaughterhouse. hallelujah to the glory of existence. Perfect, bright , glorious, overflowing with pure love

@Galyna Well it is not, the means by which we represent them are constructs, but they are definitely not constructs themselves. I have argued this extensively in a post titled "most things are imagined". There are things that may come and go when other things remains, and are also a combination of various things taken into one identity, only such things I call constructs. Not only is both Time and Space there always when something else in particular, say a sound, touch or a thought is had but there latter things are contingent on the former. Time and Space is of the mind, and ever present given the presence of something particular in mind, these are often called appearances. We who are conscious are not seeing how we are created, necessarily, for then nothing could take in its output. I am sure this will not be accepted easily, but it is obvious. If we could see that we were created then we would be whatever created us, or whatever of which we are composed, if we are at all created and if we are at all composed. Nothingness is a construct however, and this construct is definitely important for anything to make sense. It has a better term, "negation". It is not actually nothing, instead it is the imagination of a thing and the unimaginative of the same thing, which is what negation means. You may also argue retrospectively that nothing is the absence of an appearance or a magnitude in consciousness, but this is what I call emptiness and actually not at all nothing.

Everything doesn't arise from nothing. Everything IS Nothing. Now, you can awaken to different facets at a different times. You can realize Nothingness but then realize Nothing and Everything are identical in different awakenings. But this is still enlightenment and it is not a process. Awakening/enlightenment is a state of Infinite Consciousness which is not limited to a logical system or process - it is direct.

@Inliytened1 What? Ofc not. I am nothing, Literally. I do not get phenomenon how from this nothingness arises everything. Awakening is a process when you can find that "space" a "silent observer", yes. I found it many years ago. Is it enlightenment, ofc not.

I would say that time and space is a mental construct, yes, quality of consciousness to reflect upon itself. Who are you calling "we"? Isn't nothingness serves as a "ground" for everything?

@Galyna We think that it created us because we can impose our pure empty awareness into memories of our past, this is the reason we identify with who we were in our representation of the past in memory. The idea that we were created prior to our presence (now) is not made merely out of the parts which comprises this idea at presence, if that composition of elements were enough then we could push ourself back to some initial condition out of which we were created, to return at will at any moment. That these elements are not enough to create us does not mean they were not essential for us to be created, we are retrospectively analyzing the idea of our house, our family, our friends, (the empirical condition for these things, touch, smell, sight) our sensibility of shape, space etc. In doing this we see subsistent and essential elements of our existence, without these we would not be at this place we are now with these extremely peculiar characteristics, it feels like we are precisely were we are supposed to be because its disjunction or alternative to being where we are is synthetic or additive by means of it. This creation does not imply time, instead time is essential to the idea of the creation, the implication goes the other way around. Time is necessarily implicated in consciousness, as is space. I am not saying that we are in any way seeing how we were created, but we are analyzing its ingredients. We are capable of saying what our creation must necessarily have, without saying how it is done. I do not think it makes sense to conclude regarding how we are created for the same reason we do not know what it is like (or what it means) to be independent of us, such as materialists considers a stone to be independent of us or theists considers god to be independent of us. I do not think there has been an absolute creation if you were asking that, for I consider nothingness to be impossible (this I actually know) and emptiness to be a mutual contingency to whatever fills it.

A meta-contrast theory of reality Once you die, you'll be in a state of non-existence where there is no time, and neither is there the experience of a black screen. Since being a black-screen is still a conscious experience. In the total absence of experience "what would happen next?". I would suppose that in that total stasis, the only contrast to that nothingness would be experience again, maybe as another fleeting blip or as another type of existence . When in non-existence, we could say there are two possibilities. Either non-existence just "remains", or a contrast from non-existence will happen. If we suppose that there exists a situation where the contrast "doesn't happen" (I.e. death is final), that's not a situation at all or experience at all. Therefore the only thing that can happen is a contrast, and something will happen. Which would imply that after your death, you would end up dreaming something else as a contrast. We can reduce the question of what happens "after" your death to the question of whether a contrast will happen or not. But since the situation of non-contrast isn't a situation at all, I'm suggesting that the only thing which can happen is contrast. -- "The Big Bang" can similarly be thought of as a contrast to nothingness that happened (as "contrast" is the only possible situation) We could make a meta-contrast theory of reality. By this theory, there exist an arbitrarily infinite number of (contrasts to nothingness)/universes. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Notes: No distinction or postulation is made about the nature of the contrasts, that they are following some law or sense, or that they are contained in any way. In a sense, this is absolute infinity. The most mathematically unconstrained infinity you can think of is represented by "arbitrariness". Arbitrariness is the key feature here. Whether the "The Big Bang", as a physical event that physicists are postulating as the start of our universe, is true or not, is besides the point. The Big Bang is merely a cosmological story of creation we have, and this theory of contrasts includes that. Another thing to note is that the question of "how is there something rather than nothing" is answered by an argument which is saying "it's the only thing which is possible". By saying a contrast is the only thing which can happen, since non-contrast isn't a thing which can happen, etc etc -- Despite the argument given, I still have no reason to think non-existence or nothingness isn't possible. Even if there is a something going on here right now, it is completely valid to say there is a nothing going on in the background here. If you say there isn't a nothing going on the background here, you'd have to posit some quality about nothingness which isn't present. But nothingness is the exact thing and term for a thing which has no quality which can be negated

Hello everyone, <3 I’m writing this post because for the last month, I have been slipping in and out of full-on panic and crisis mode. This is the most challenging and disorienting time of my entire life. And I have come closer to wanting to just end all my suffering at once than I ever thought would be possible. My hopes are that some of you might give me some pointers, some understanding, some advice, some help, that might help me with a gentle transition out of this phase, into the light again. Because I’m trying my best to choose faith, and to see all of this as a birthing process, rather than the path’s dire end. Even though it feels like that most of the time. There is a bushfire raging in my psyche and burning down my sense of reality and identity, and my guess is that this has been sparked by a very disturbing LSD-Trip three months ago. There, I literally felt that I had to die, that I had to go, that there was no other way, for hours and hours, even long after I should have been sobered again. The symptoms that I’m now experiencing didn’t start right after that trip, because in the two months after it life (and reality) resumed more or less as always. However, I think that it must have something to do with that, but more details on this trip later. I’ll jump right in with describing what I’ve been experiencing over the last month, with the attempt to give you a raw description, without already putting any labels or interpretations on it. I'm not exactly very steeped in the whole non-duality thing, just watched a few videos here and there, and I don't want to throw around with any dangerous half-knowledge Here are some situations that I’ve experienced, clustered into, well, ahem, “problems”: I don’t exist - I’m randomly looking at a photo of mine. I think: “Hmm, so that’s me.” --> “Aaah no, that’s not me, that’s just the surface of my body! But then nobody can actually see ME! Noone can ever really make contact with me! I am forever completely alone!” --> panic - I’m feeling anxious and I’m trying to make contact with my inner child to calm it down, something that I’ve worked with for a few years. In my imagination, I as my adult self say: “I’m there. I’m there. And I won’t go away.”, and try to take it into my arms. à My Inner child screams angrily: “But you don’t exist!! You don’t exist!!” --> I don’t know what to answer to that, because I’ve realized that the image of my adult self is actually just a thought --> panic - I’m playing the guitar, and I enter into a flow state. At some point I realize with happiness: “Wow, everything’s flowing and moving on its own!” --> “Aaaargh, everything is happening on it’s own! I’m not there! I don’t exist! I can’t do anything!” --> panic - I realize that all my thoughts, all the images, everything in my mind is just arising on its own, and that I actually have NO influence whatsoever over it --> “But then I myself cannot speak! I am mute! I can’t do anything!! I’m not there!” --> panic Everything is an Illusion - I’m sitting at the kitchen table, head in my hands. A friend of mine gently rests his arm on my shoulder to console me. --> I realize the image in my mind of him sitting there, my internal representation of him, as being just a thought, and not reality. I realize that the sensation of his arm on my shoulders is just sensory data that is arising in consciousness. I realize that the feeling of comfort and connection that I feel is just fabricated out of these inputs. --> I am getting the feeling of being absolutely, terribly alone, that my friend isn’t actually there, that he exists only in my mind --> panic. - Even when I turn around to look at him, I start to question whether he’s really THERE, or whether I’m just receiving an image, sitting behind a screen, where I’m actually terribly alone. - I sometimes feel like I’m not INSIDE reality, or in contact with it, but that I’m looking out from a place behind the screen of my eyes, like I’m not in real contact with anything that’s happening, that nothing can really reach ME, that I’m trapped in a dark and utterly lonely place forever, looking out at a screen. - I sometimes question whether anything / anyone besides the things I’m directly experiencing right now actually exist. If I remind myself of my friends, if I remind myself of my flat mate being in the room next to me, then those are just thoughts, and images, and the feelings of safety and connection that arise are also just fabrications of my mind that follows the images. --> I feel like no one but me exists, I’m terribly alone Noone can truly love ME - Someone says to me lovingly something like: “Oh Jonas, I love you, man! It’s so nice to spend time with you, you’re so (…)” --> I remember that I haven’t done anything for my good qualities, my humor, my intelligence, my looks, my way of being, that I don’t have free will, that I didn’t contribute anything to that. That nothing of the things that people love me for is really ME. Neither my body, nor my thoughts, nor my actions --> “Aah, but then no one really, truly loves ME, everyone is just loving these surface traits that are not really me, Noone can really see ME, no one can really love ME!” --> “I can never be truly seen, I can never be truly loved”--> Panic Nothing has any meaning - I try to console myself in all my panic and pain, by reminding myself: “Everything here is nothing but thoughts and feelings that are arising, that’s all. I can just watch all of that.” --> a moment of relief --> “Aaah, but if everything is nothing but thoughts and feelings, then where is the problem with people suffering? Then it doesn’t really matter if I help people or not! Then it doesn’t matter to try and increase the good in the world! --> Then nothing matters!! I have to go, I have to die - I spend time talking to a friend, I don’t really feel seen, I don’t really feel connected with him, I feel like I’m constantly projecting an inauthentic persona, I don’t really feel “here” --> a feeling of inescapable doom, of resignation, of hopelessness fills my body, It feels like “It is of no use. There is no other way. I have to go. I have to say goodbye. I have to die.” --> (this is the same feeling that I had at the end of my LSD-Trip) As mentioned above, one important event that might have contributed to this situation was a solo trip on 100mg LSD that I had three months ago. To make a long story rather short: At some point, a few hours into the trip (which started off with me accidentally falling asleep on my couch and being really disoriented and disturbed when waking up), I experienced the voice in my head, or “myself”, as being trapped telling a story to the outside world. When I walked around my room, feeling panic rising in my body, my inner voice would say: “And I was walking around my room, trying not to panic, and I didn’t know what to do.” Once I then noticed that the voice in my head was acting like a podcast guest, it went: “And somehow, all I could do was to act like someone telling a story on a podcast”. When I then noticed that, and was pretty confused, it went: “And it was really confusing, because it just didn’t stop! That voice kept going on and on.” Et cetera et cetera. This went on for hours and hours, during which I desperately tried to “find myself”, to “turn around”, to “make contact with myself” again, but it all was of no use, like a hand trying to grasp itself. Eventually, I ended up in a state of deep resignation. I sat down with my head in my hands, feeling like I was completely utterly alone, like there was nothing I could do. (And all the while my narrator goes: “And I was sitting there, head in my hands, and I really didn’t know what to do.” Aaaahhhh!!). I sunk deeper and deeper into this feeling of hopelessness, of absolute futility, and it felt like there was a part in me that was really upset, saying things like: “Well I’m sorry Jonas, but I really have to say goodbye.” “Something HAS to change.” “This CAN NOT go on like this!” “I have to go!”. When, 8 hours after ingestion, I felt like I was finally coming down a little, I tried to just “walk it out”, I walked up and down my room, counting my breaths, trying to stay afloat. There was no strength left in me to surrender to anything anymore. Eventually, 10 hours after ingestion, I called a friend to just let him keep talking to me, and I felt a little more relaxed. We talked for three hours, but, dear god, this visceral feeling of “I have to go”, “I have to say goodbye”, “there is no other way”, kept coming back up, and was even getting stronger and stronger. It felt like there was a wise, loving, smiling, higher part of me that was gently taking my hand, wanting to lead me away into nowhere, into nothingness, saying “It is time. Come, my dear. We have to go.” My entire body was filled with the feeling that I, or that something in me, HAD to die, HAD to go, and that there was absolutely way around it. It felt like nothing could possibly keep me here in this reality, not even my friend on the phone. Eventually, I hung up with the words “Thank you, but the rest I will have to do alone”. When an hour later, 4 hours after I should have been sobered again, this feeling still persisted, I texted “I love you” to my mother, father, and sister. I wrote a goodbye letter. I looked at my own picture and said goodbye. I was so tired, but I didn’t want to go to bed and fall asleep, because It felt like I would be carried away by the strong, deep, dark current of a river, like I would either wake up the next day permanently crazy, or not wake up at all. Eventually, about 6 hours after I should have been sobered, the feeling subsided a little. I realized “Okay. I think I do not have to die. Let’s just go to bed, and hope that it will all be over tomorrow.” Well then, surprise, and praise the Lord, I did wake up the next morning, and I was not permanently crazy. (At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself). There were still remains of the “I have to go”-feeling, and of panic inside my body, but over the course of the next two days it slowly went away. Now. uring the last two weeks, on two evenings, that feeling returned. I experienced a very similar feeling of inescapable hopelessness, of having to say goodbye to the world, of there being no other possible way than me dying. My body is filled with the feeling of an approaching end, everything feels like “there’s no escape, I have to go, it is of no use”. I have been able to distance myself a little more from the part of me that feels like that, so last time it happened I could kind of just watch it, let it be there, and then just get up and make myself pasta anyway. But still, every moment now is filled with a subtle feeling of despair, and meaninglessness, something like: “I’m drifting away, I’m lost in a bad dream and I can’t wake up, I don’t understand anything, there is nothing to cling to, everything has always been just a bad joke.” Perhaps someone of you can give me a few helpful comments on what I’m experiencing. Maybe a few pointers in the right direction, what I could do, or not do, in order to go through this as peacefully and gently as possible, and avoid any further major breakdowns. (I’ve really had enough of these, thank you Mr. Universe, I’m full!) Like, should I just wait and try to resume with life “as usual? Should I retreat into a mountain cave and meditate? Should I try to "allow" that part of me to die when the feeling comes back again? Is there something else that can help me? I love you, even though I’m not quite sure anymore what that means, Jonas (whoever that is)

Notice, it has been the case all your life, you have not noticed this, what has changed, really? You came to a realization. That is a hard core, some people said they needed to learn again how to walk after non-dual experience. Yep, I do realize this quite often too. When I feel this way, next realization is : "no worries, there is no "I" either. You are no more real as he is. Pure imagination of the mind.. Yup, been there too, but if you remove "I", can void/nothingness be really alone this is the bitter pill to swallow for me too, ego hates it because it has been dreaming about soul mate and here we go: there is no other.... Love does! Mind talks....who has to die, nothingness? How? It seems like you still believe in the control if you resist to what is in the moment. But yeah, good luck....it will soak in eventually. Just keep watching the movie on the screen, the flow will take your body where it should be. You are not a hero, as you have discovered, keep watching....

You somehow realize that beliefs are always though in various ways empty, that they are a minimal effort of survival. That pretty much nothing is the way it seems, and ultimately in no particular way at all, therefore. That equations are equivocations, and that substance/attribute theory is the closest you get to a consistent meta-model of mind, that instead of adding things together you subtract things from necessary unity, such that instead of saying 0.5+0.5=1 you end up only saying that without a whole there are no halves, and that everything of consciousness (say a duck) is thereby a fraction of it, and that without the duck there would non the less be something whole. To say that the duck is an accident of what it inheres in, or to which it is subsistent. You also realize that thoughts subsist, even though they are synthetic and pure imagination. Synthetic subsistence implies consciousness as an absolute, and so to what you are asking I answer that the ultimate goal of mind is to find the essential subsistent attributes of the substance consciousness, if you can. Time, Space, Causality, Empirical intuition, Will and Pure analytic mathematics/logic seems all to be THE essence of consciousness, none of which are mere representations of it but actually it. The best theory on how these essential ingredients are combined will also be the best way trough which to think, though it must always be understood that we retrospectively combine them imperfectly, and are therefore building a philosophical architecture instead of speaking absolute truth. This combination is a representation of something mystical, this architecture is a representation of something beyond ourself, I think. I also think that this rationalism is a cosmological and absolute necessity, an essence of existence itself. This which is beyond ourself are typically recognized by various people and doctrines from Purple to Turquoise as God, Synthetic A Priori, Subconscious, Nothingness, Oblivion, Death, Unconscious, Materiality, Truth, Heaven, The thing in itself, "contents" of intuition, Noumena, absolute will or "something from nothing". Edit: And by the skeptics in general this which is beyond ourself are recognized as a manifold of imagined material possibility, how they go about projecting themselves into the world they are supposedly skeptical of as a foundation for its possibilities is the biggest hoax and I would argue the most extreme case of mental gymnastics recorded in history. Don't be a skeptic, though learn everything you can from them.

Given that something takes the form it needs to since nothing more than necessary takes form. And that every form takes a certain direction and that direction is defined by the form. How then can necessary forms be accidents to the ultimate direction, if not by a will that is dual to them both? And so without no will neither comes intention, to which then we would be a necessary accident, so then we are an extreme kind of absolute being. So then our lives are an end in itself and this actually all there will be to us. So then there is an emptiness lacking in the cosmological scale we are every day ruining by at all being, and so my existential question then is regarding this to which we are an opposite and seemingly emergent of: what is it in itself and what is the absolute variation of things that can become its opposite, and so regarding these how alone are we in our universe? It really should not be possible that we are at all, given this I take it that there will always be something and that what seems like nothingness is actually a positive notion, a negation on top of a thing. Well then the will is emergent and imposed in its power by that which it is emergent of so to be by some plain love radically reduced in its power to do harm, and so then of what else than perfection are we? Extreme diversity, minimal effort.

I had an profound experience on these seeds yesterday. They can be a great legal alternative to LSD or mushrooms. I’ll briefly describe my experience after this safety warning Warning: At high doses, these seeds can cause vasoconstriction and may not be suitable for people with certain medical conditions That being said, I took 7 seeds and the vasoconstriction was only mildly uncomfortable. I took the seeds orally, but they can also be taken sublingually or a few different extraction methods can be used to reduce physical side effects. I took a 10 mg THC sativa edible to potentiate. It’s a strong synergy, so for someone like me with zero marijuana tolerance, I’d recommend only 5 mg, as I could feel the edible overpowering the LSA at times, which was a bit distracting. It was definitely an intense experience as the LSA was strongly sedating, almost putting me to sleep at some points, but then the sativa would hype me up again, the two seemed to be competing in that sense I would describe the headspace as being similar to LSD with a sedative body high similar to mushrooms. The visuals are much more subtle, I saw a grid of pulsing dots when I closed my eyes. I imagine in the dark the visuals would be stronger though. The best part about this substance is that it supercharges contemplation! My thoughts felt so clear and meaningful. I would highly recommend going in with a list of questions and recording your answers to listen back to the next day. You’re basically guaranteed to produce some great new insights! I also experienced some ego-dissolution and probably could’ve had an ego death if I wasn’t resisting it. It seemed like my thoughts were deconstructing themselves and trying to reveal the eternal nothingness from which everything comes. At times, there was a sense of complete perfection. Not in the sense of some kind a peak experience, as this substance is more subtle than that, but a sense of wholeness and completion. I understood that we truly exist to spread love, because love and truth are identical I also experienced some pretty strong time dilation, like time was passing 2-4 times slower at some points. A 20 minute walk back home felt like it took almost an hour. Towards the end of the walk it got a little scary, as it seemed like I was taking considerably more steps than the actual distance I was covering. Like I was mostly staying still and the distance was stretching in front of me. It was starting to get colder and I was worried I would never make it back home. It would’ve been helpful to have someone there to tell me I was moving at normal speed In conclusion I would highly recommend this substance! It can be legally purchased online and I can tell that it has great potential for spiritual growth. In my view, 8 seeds should be considered the maximum oral dose. There are reports of people having great experiences on 12+ seeds, but you definitely pay a physical price for that My next trip report will be on 8 seeds without marijuana, so I can know what the effects are of LSA by itself. And then after that I’ll try it with 5 mg of sativa

Yeah of course, every days. the thing is why of the fear. the ego perceives that the absence of limits is death and it is impossible for him to let it go, he will always want to maintain a minimum of definition, of form, since the non-form is nothing, death. but precisely nothingness is your nature, or god, whatever, and this is what is impossible to grasp with the mind. the ego must surrender completely, this you can do with 5meo for a few moments, but sober it is very difficult. to be awake is to live with that openness to the unlimited. I have an opening normally, but far from complete. there is attachment to form. the work is to detach from the form

"What is happening right now, like what is this exact fucking moment? it is LITERALLY there. RIGHT NOW! THIS!?" This question from your original post assumes that universal existence can be equated with something in essential and particular in it, it is a from of absurd essententialism. "Why isn't nothing possible ? Why would there be stuff ..?Why do you think the existence of something is necessary?" I do not think that something must necessarily exist, I know. If something can be at all that means it can not be taken away, for if it could be taken away then it could also never have been. Your problem is that you think that everything beyond presence is nothingness, and that nothingness is potentially something, that existence can negate itself every time a second goes by. Instead, again, you invent the idea of negation after first having been imposed by something, this imposition and your essential nature of emptiness are equal to the other. You can consider them to be mutually generative. This emptiness does not negate the things that occurs by means of it and with it, obviously. That we are wondering how it is all possible can be satisfied (even though your formulation of the question makes little sense), but that does not change the proclivity for wonder itself, and so now I ask why everything is the way it is and not merely why it is at all. It is here that one encounter self reference problems, any honesty here implies a teleological theory. You end up asking not only "why am I the way I am" but rather "why is what I am precisely the way it had to be". At this point you may discover determinism, which is a perfect theory when you are limited by one linearity and are only thinking retrospectively. But you will also discover that the future is always mystical in its direction, that everything is both similar and different, and that only will is of the nature that could imply altercation. Here you see that the will is only a consistent theory in a given time frame if it is ANTICIPATED for the future, and never reduced into a theory of what were already existent or of the memories of the past, and that the only way one could have both determinism and will is in an infinite manifold of universes of which oneself is merely singular. The synthesis says that one goes trough this infinite manifold every day, and that everything which preceded therefore were totally determined. What were once a contradiction becomes the very glue itself. All this is implied and almost self argued by taking the idea of the will seriously.

God is amazing. But there is a void of nothingness where no other word comes close to discribe it except Shi-va. And it's indescribable. Literally. All logic and sense making and symbolic meaning goes out the window. So stay open i would say.

@Someone here Only in assuming that existence is a possibility that is actualized by some cause can you consider that question (of why there is something rather than nothing) meaningful. What I say is that this assumption is itself absurd, which is affirmed when you realize that the present moment in being at all, negates nothingness. Which means there had to be something, the answer to your question is of necessity, there necessarily were something.