Search the Community

Easy to overlook that 99,9%+ of Buddhists are not enlightened, and at least 99% of Buddhist teachers on the spiritual market place are not fully enlightened? Yes, the "success rate" of the Buddhist project is not good, not to say abysmal... But its a long journey over many (dream-)lifes, and the other spiritual systems/traditions are also not more successful. And for the "masses", Buddhism teaches mainly compassion & love & integration into the world/society/other beings, or generally staying open and loving to all that appears in Ones True Being/Reality, which is the same as living a healthy life on the relative level. Dream? Yes, but a dream more on the happy side and not a nightmare-dream. Which is probably precisely what most souls need to learn in this round of the game. And which is necessary to stabilize Awakening. A big part of the Gateless Gate is made out of compassion. I myself was also like "hey, wake up, that is all relative-level-stuff, go directly to Awakening and so on, why so much about this Boddhichitta and compassion-teaching stuff and why not more emphasis on the real Awakening-teachings?", but over the years as I got older that changed a bit.... Ken Wilber once said in One Taste: "First, although it is generally true that the East has produced a greater number of authentic realizers, nonetheless, the actual percentage of the Eastern population that is engaged in authentic transformative spirituality is, and always has been, pitifully small. I once asked Katagiri Roshi, with whom I had my first breakthrough (hopefully, not a breakdown), how many truly great Ch’an and Zen masters there have historically been. Without hesitating, he said, “Maybe one thousand altogether.” I asked another Zen master how many truly enlightened—deeply enlightened— Japanese Zen masters there were alive today, and he said, “Not more than a dozen.” (that statement from Katagiri was at least 30 years ago, probably rather 40. Nowadays its more for sure (and that quote should not cause any limiting belief), but still shows that one should not take the "Enlightenment" of the next Zen Teacher as the final thing. Chances are way higher that it isn't). Most Enlightenments/Awakenings are not full/deep Enlightenment (in Zen called Great Enlightenment), where there is no more doubt about the nature of Reality, God, Ones True Self. Water by the River @Leo Gura PS: Deep respect from my side concerning your last blog-post. That takes a very high degree of Integrity, Self-Reflection, and above all staying open. Very(!) few people could do something like that. So really deep respect for that, and hopefully I am not coming across in any way condescending or jovial in any way, because that is not intended. Whatever caused your suffering, I wish you all the best and a swift end of suffering, and a fast return to the bliss & pioneering exploration of the higher realms/dimensions! PSPS: Maybe you already know some of that material, but if not you will probably find these books quite interesting: Jaques Vallee, Passport to Magonia: From Folklore to Flying Saucers Paperback Graham Hancock, Supernatural Charles Upton, The Alien Disclosure Deception: The Metaphysics of Social Engineering. Although some of that stuff is in my opinion too deeply infused with Traditionalist School (perennialism) of Guénon, Coomaraswamy and Schuon, still a very interesting perspective. Jürgen Ziewe (Out of body explorer over 40 years, with valid Enlightenment-experience-descriptions) for example: http://www.multidimensionalman.com/Multidimensional-Man/Model_of_the_Multidimensional_Universe.html http://www.multidimensionalman.com/Multidimensional-Man/Life_after_death_-_a_description_of_the_afterlife.html http://www.multidimensionalman.com/Multidimensional-Man/Higher_Mental_Planes_or_Heaven_Worlds.html

Calming the mind can be good, but it also has some serious limits. You need mind to reach very advanced understanding of God. One of the reasons I've been able to reach new kinds of understanding of God and Consciousness -- this alien stuff -- is because I did not take the standard path of just silencing my mind. And it paid off in some amazing ways. If you just shut off your mind your understanding of Consciousness will be quite limited in the end. You may get other benefits but your understanding will be lacking. Which is exactly the issue with all the Buddhists. They can sit for days in bliss under a tree, but they don't understand the mechanics of God. Many of them even dare to claim that God doesn't exist. Which is just embarrassing.

Life is a movie. An entirely directed and designed experience. Everything is pre ordained. The transition from state of consciousness to state of consciousness, the flow of thoughts, the flow of actions, the emotions, etc. If you imagine a video editor who pieces together a video by cutting frames and inserting effects and audio tracks, god has video edited your entire life to the tiniest detail. That's why there shouldn't be any blame or guilt, useless and fraudulent emotions because you're not responsible for your actions. That said it is part of the play that people and society will attribute the blame of your actions to you, but that's also handcrafted and purely imaginary. You don't surrender to life, you don't do anything. You transition from moment to moment and everything happens automatically. If you know this, god will have planted some anxiety and discomfort from the knowing but it still changes nothing. The sage Ramesh Balsekar says that life is imprisonment for consciousness. Other sages say that life is a contrast to infinite love and bliss, a way to increase appreciation for the true home of consciousness. The life may include things like astral projection, lucid dreams and psychedelic trips. There is no control even in lucid dreams, you are under the illusion of free will like in waking life but in truth you're being directed by subtle thoughts like "Im gonna do this" This truth turns me into a nihilist because Im entirely powerless while dreaming and I have phases of intense discomfort, pain and suffering already pre planned and there is nothing I can do to avoid them. And how can I trust the architect of my suffering to provide me a good life. A good life is not guaranteed, you may be entirely born to suffer. Free will is literally a non existent fantasy because of the nature of imagination. Imagination has to follow a linear progression of moments, the imaginary is an expression of mind, it doesn't really have a "life". There is no "alive" beings. There is only fluid imagination that simulates life. In one sense it is not incorrect to say that this is a simulation because it is. It just isn't a computer simulation. This is a simulation of life. Actual life cannot truly exist, the only thing that is permanent and truly exists is god. Understanding is a function of the simulation or dream. It's states of consciousness. Like memory, consciousness can hold in itself a sense of understanding. This is a deconstruction of Maya, the illusion of consciousness. Enjoy.

I think we can agree on that I wish you (and everyone else) freedom from suffering, and the bliss of the True Nature each being has at its core. And the fact that I do know that you underestimate your potential in being free from suffering and enjoying the bliss of what You really are is probably not one of the more challenging “lets agree to disagree”-topics. In that sense: All the best and Bon Voyage! Water by the River

No, this is a bad assumption. Development does not directly translate into happiness. There is some truth to ignorance is bliss.

If I had true sight I would see everything happening as love and feel that love. I could go homeless and I wouldn't care if only I could feel the love in every moment. Why must I go through life with an "ego", with a perspective that doesn't even want to exist. Why does god hoard all the love to itself only and not share it with its beings. I understand that god wants to give life to every form but why must it give form to suffering forms and not simply joyful forms. If everyone was feeling love all the time there would be no evil. Why isn't creation just an infinite field with all the possible forms in existence all blissed out in love walking around hugging and petting each other. Now that would be paradise. Why make everyone work and cruel shit like that. I see the radiance in all these beings existing but the feeling doesn't stay. I have this cold and heartless neutrality and I don't want it. I just want to disappear and be a love camera and just observe reality. Free this body from my grasp. Allow it to live in non existent bliss just like the others and simply observe.

No Razard, you're actually wrong because getting my way all the time in truth has no distinction from not getting my way all the time. The distinction is imagined. You say that god imagines boredom when it gets its way all the time but god could instead imagine satisfaction, the experience is entirely customizable. The truth is entirely malleable. I don't necessarily wish for things to go my way, I just want to feel good. Things didn't go my way and now my life is horribly boring and unsalvageable. When things were going my way I was feeling satisfaction and was having a great time. It is said that any pleasure on this earth is like horrible torture compared to the bliss of heaven. Even given this fact, god is miserable and ungenerous in duling out the pleasures of this earth, you have to pay for it in equal misery. I experienced like 5 great blissful vacations in 28 years, with money that I had to earn working like a slave. Why can't my life be an endless LSD trip where my appreciation for music is heightened, where there's no such thing as "getting used to it". Where novelty is constant. Why can't my life be an endless buffet of choice. Why must I live constrained like a slave, chained to obligation and daily duties. Why didn't god at least make me compliant to the life I have. Why didn't he make me feel satisfied with what I have. Everything is the fault of the designer. The blame is entirely on the designer forever and ever. Surrender to what is because what is is a piece of shit but hey it's perfect. For fucking no one , no one sees that it is perfect because I'm the pnly one here and I don't see it and I'll never fucking see it. So what's the point of spending a life in dissatisfaction only tp appreciate it when I'm dead? Why bother living at all. God already knew this life. God is omniscient, it's not about appreciation. It's just stupid OCD retarded bullshit I have to be everything. For whom do I have to be everything? I thought god was free but no god is an eternal slave. I was surprised alright. Surprised that this world is a scam, run by occult pedophiles who want to kill everyone and make life a serfdom. I was surprised that the earth is actually flat and that there is no outer space. I was surprised that space was made in a Hollywood basement. I was surprise that the Vatican, celebrities and the secret societies actually worship lucifer. I was surprised that I am god. I was surprised by a lot of things. But I could have been surprised while living a good life which is actually what happened for the most part. I was surprised that my life was ruined beyond repair but now living is shit such that none of the surprises were actually worth anything.

I woke up, meditated, did kriya yoga, and breathwork for a couple of hours. I then Snorted around 120mg of tested ketamine and holed. It was my first time holing and it was very cool, but I didn't have any crazy breakthroughs. Once I could move again with ease I took 3 large hits of DMT, and was unable to take a fourth. The psychedelic effects were about as strong as I've ever had them, even putting a standard DMT trip to shame. I starting off asking to just know what everything is, to know god, and after I laid down I was in this dimension with a massive room, with large tall angular entities. I had the sense this was a very profound place, and it seemed nothing like the jesters I sometimes meet with. The visuals were just absolutely ineffable, so advanced and intelligent. I few weeks ago on DMT I had been given the option to die, and had gratefully decided not to. This time I was ready to die and had accepted death, and so they brought out a file from the edge of the room. Then suddenly I was gone, transported to the void of God, no world, no self, no reality. And then, out of love and infinite curiosity, I decided and chose to incarnate in this reality. I would describe the process I experienced as Creation. God created everything, and it was me doing it. And then God decided to forget into this individual life, into my experience as a human being on earth. And for a while after the trip I was crying and screaming in existential bliss and awe, marveling at the world and self I had just created. This is everything put into a chronological story, but it is all beyond words. I became completely conscious of the process of Creation as god. What a beautiful and unique thing, the cause and explanation for all of reality. And yet still I continue to create. I realized that I will always be creating, infinitely and while I live this life, and it is a beautiful divine thing, it is what God does. I realized that everything is absolutely perfect, that I will never die and I am simply imagining this finite life and will continue to imagine when it is over. There is nothing to fear, nothing to worry about, all there is is perfection and love. Anyways, I will be more motivated to meditate, to life a fearless loving and pure life, to be as aware as possible. And to smoke more DMT. Much love, Thank you lots @Leo Gura for teaching me about all of this, I wouldn't be here experiencing the most meaningful thing I could have ever imagined otherwise. p.s. I mixed LSD with DMT a couple of days ago and also had a crazy trip. But there was no deep insight, just jester entities showing me all kinds of gadgets and gizmos, happy to see me. The visuals were absolutely insane. These dimensions are just so far beyond ours in complexity.

Learn proper classic Yoga from a teacher. The key to produce this states is 'written' on your own body/breath. You will have to 'make it' by doing certain practices and techniques. I learned from sadhguru but who ever you choice, make sure he/she knows what it is doing and is not just gymnastics. Oh no, I have cancelled this year because I had a lot of expenses Next year. Yes, it feels like heaven. All of your sensory surroundings (particularly sounds since eyes are usually closed) become like little diamonds dripping tears of Love and Bliss. You become One with that. Yoga = Union ?

IME, The best state ever is not a psychedelic peak, or any type of substance induced state. It is absolute concentration and intensity of your awareness, to such a level that feeling of Time completely disappears, and there is just Raw Awareness. In this state anything that happens on awareness is an orgasm on its own, a sound feels Ecstatic, each breath feels like heaven, this is what all humans beings should strive for. If you think you know blissfulness or ecstasy because of having taking MDMA or 300ug of Lsd, I´m just telling you, you haven't scratched the surface of how certain state of consciousness of God can feel like. I piss on mdma or heroin or whatever, this state of consciousness is beyond anything that a chemical could trigger. This is a pure Explosion of perfection. And, this can not be achieved for a long time while residing in normal society, only retreated in a place outside of the matrix influence, this can be lived. All types efforts to feel pleasure love or accomplishment through material goals are stupid, because they do not touch 1% of the bliss and heaven this state of consciousness is. I do have material attachments I want to burn, but once I´m done with that, I will say goodbye to the game. I will retreat to some ashram and in exchange of peeling potatoes 8 hours a day, I will be in heaven rest of the day. ?

I feel compelled to capture something mundane but also spiritual via words. I alternated between walking and running for 1.5 hours along a concrete walking path, which was adorned by a row of trees, plants, and flowers. I do it every 2 or 3 days, usually at night. My solitude, and the silence and darkness of the night made me feel the mystery and sacredness of existence. When I was walking, I observed the beauty which surrounded me. I also contemplated my life. I was repulsed by my horrible past. But I also felt a deep appreciation of the current, premium version of myself; and the things I did my entire adult life to materialize it. When I was running, I felt good, appreciating my body's strength and health. I also marveled at the intelligence my human body possesses to be able to perform such activities. I used to take these things for granted, especially when I was young and foolish. I stopped from time to time to admire the silhouette of a nearby hill, a tree which stood out from the others, and an old electrical post. These "ordinary" things felt similar to gifts from God. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude. Every moment of my spiritual walk and run was magical and mysterious. And I cherished the privilege of existence. For 1.5 hours, I immersed myself in bliss, except for the moment I revisited my painful memories of an ugly childhood and teenage years. Then I felt elation when I realized that my spiritual walk and run are an all-in-one package. It relieves me from mental-emotional and bodily stress, enables me to generate new insights, keeps my body healthy and strong, fills me with gratitude and joy, and enables me to experience spirituality in action. Life is a nightmare. But my spiritual walk and run significantly make life worth living. It's as satisfying as spiritually fucking my concubines. All the problems and dissatisfaction don't matter during those moments. It's an oasis of serenity amidst the chaos. It's not just a mere walk and run. It's a celebration of life, a sacred communion with existence. I crafted this post not only to honor and immortalize the magical experience via encapsulating it in words, but also to ignite inspiration in others.

You must transcend the good/evil duality and realize Absolute Goodness. God has no problem being burned for eternity. Only the ego has a problem. Kill the ego .and realize nirvanic bliss .

You ever ask yourself what a conscious none feeling state would actually be like? Like really no sensation, no feeling, even the no joy no bliss, no anything, would it even be an experience at that point? An experience that is "nothing" but is enjoyable is not what your talking about, thats still a "something" felt/experienced going on. The nothingness of a good nights sleep isn't felt in the sleep, its felt after as a feeling or experience no?, or if its felt in sleep, because if it is, its not a no-feeling/conscious experience. Its a felt/conscious one. As for the rock thats not really a rock..... its god experiencing itself as that from your god experience. As you see it, is knowing it as that, as a rock as you say. Maybe there is a inside view of rock having a experience of you looking at it as a rock, and maybe not.

`Ummm… something seems to be happening. I’m getting excited about it. So today I got a chance to share in a Bufo ceremony…again… I’ve mentioned him before being in the same graduating class and was reluctant to smoke the Bufo. He gave me permission to talk about what went down in ceremony today. Well shit, let’s just say I’ve never experienced a ceremony quite like this. It’s still a little boggling to my mind right now, because one part of me wanted to apologize but the deeper part was thinking this is what I’ve been wanting to see out of ceremony… hehe. I’ll try to explain how excited I am about seeing these changes in ceremony lately. So we’re both a dollop of fearlessness, splash of sass, and a lot a’bit of creativity and heart. But there’s been times in our past where we’ve butt heads… lol… literally. I think I’ve head butted him twice growing up. Once on accident and the other on purpose. Now calm down, he’s the only one I’ve ever had to head butt by the way. Hehe… it’s not like a regular thing I do… hehe. This is who I’m dealing with…. I had to knock him in the head with my head to get his attention to really snap into focus… lol.. like we’re two neanderthals. I guess that’s what I can try, is to explain our relationship. He’s surprised that he got the bully label for our class, but dude he has to know he was a bit of a bully. Right, there’s ways to show intimidation without pushing to the limits. I’m not really sure if intimidation is the word I’m trying to use… but when I got serious like, hey listen to me… I gave the strict face and widen the eyes a bit to stare… shoot, maybe a slow cock with the head. Or maybe actually an abrupt snap of the neck and dead stare… hehe. I have memories doing this because I did it plenty of times. And have seen that similar look from others too. But I’m telling ya, it had to take an extreme step over the line to get me to respond in this manner. And my line seems to be flexible with much allowance.. hehe in my opinion. Good thing I’m working on not being the intimidator anymore… because I’m not wanting to attract any responses that would lead to that. Well I have to admit I don’t think I was trying to manipulate but i guess it could be a possibility… I guess I have the memory in my bag so It’s tricky writing in here because I feel like I’m working things out in here… but misunderstandings are going to be a part of it anyway… lol. Any who… even playing sports there was a way I carried myself to show presence. It’s a subtle form of intimidation which I think I can stretch, right. But he should also know that he was one of the choices because his approach could lead to a possible fist fight. But he’s been doing some spiritual shit… a lot of the real work. It’s obvious to me, noticing subtleties seem to be coming to me easier. But then I’m not filling in the background when I’m with people sometimes, I guess. I’ve seen how much he’s been “doing the work” by mostly using extreme amounts of suffering. He’s recognized he was being conditioned by bullies. He admitted to me the physical abuse and manipulation he was living with back then, which was unknown to me. I mean I kind of thought that, but I didn’t really experience those extremes with a large span of my life to know what that would actually be like. Well… if I’m honest… I got a taste of toxic manipulation for awhile and it was not easy to handle especially because I was pre-teen. Sometimes I would fall for the subtle manipulation and had to snap myself out of it. But again our degree of abuse were not equal, maybe? I mean I had the opportunity to get out of that situation when I was younger. Now, our relationship is having the capability to form into something deeper for sure. This relationship has impacted me in amazing ways too. My buddy, that’s all he was introduced to or at least impacted his trauma the most. He’s still a bit in the trap of it to some extent. But again he can also taste he’s working to break out of this ancestral trauma conditioning. lol… wait a minute… I’m telling you background on my buddy but I didn’t learn a lot of the details until ceremony. Ok so let’s just go with the damn ceremony then before I start doing the backstory that I didn’t understand. So here I am… I’ve been sharing Bufo with quite a bit of folk now. Hmmm… let me see maybe it’s best to give numbers to get a better understanding… how many people have I shared Bufo with? I’m thinking around 22 people.. welp the goddess who gave it to me, would be 23. The quantity of times we’ve shared has varied from once to the most maybe five times to one person. I know they’re each different but damn… I didn’t realize it was going to be what went down. So first of all… I knew he’s a tough shell to crack. In my ways I’m trying to tell him that I’m noticing how tense and anxious he is but not saying that straight out. He does have a degree of being the laid back guy and I think he even said he’s the most chill guy I’ll ever know. Which makes me chuckle… but I do love this guy. He’s “Braveheart” in his soul but he doesn’t really know how to convey that to people who judge him instantly. If anyone wants to get to know him… it’s going to take awhile before he lets his guard down even though he’s approachable and funny. He’s an enigma like us all. After the first time sharing it with him, I was trying to tell him that I’d love to see if he can go deeper by trusting this more. I mean I really wanted to send him with Bufo so he can share this with his father who is on hospice. I thought maybe his dad was at a state to be able to possibly try Bufo. I’m thinking it’s going to be pure bliss, because most of the time that’s my average… lol. Well… it was tough love time. Again while I’m smoking the Bufo I feel I’ve been getting a bit of intuitive hints to what’s going on with the guest. So I lit it for him while he inhaled. Now he takes three to four times for inhalation in the same amount that usually takes me one without a break. I’m not sure if that makes a difference. And I’m not certain if it’s true, but normally when this happens it shows their hesitancy instead of how well they can inhale. So he said he needed more Bufo and I already packed mine so I gave him some. I tried to finish the last of it and I could see there wasn’t much change in me. So I went ahead and packed a little more and finally I stopped short because again it just didn’t seem like my guest was actually in the experience because I wasn’t being allowed to go far. So I’m trying to get him more relaxed. I can see all his tension his body is storing. And hanging out with him lately.. many times when he’s not in his own space he’s at the edge of the socializing and almost ready to have a straight line to the exit. I was joking with him before we even started. He told me he’s fine and there’s nothing to worry about. He’s relaxed and he’s not on the verge of running away. Well let’s just say the beginning of the ceremony he was threatening to leave. Geesh! I was trying to get him to open up his body and relax... Again I think I’ve just got so much history with him that it was easier for me to be absolutely real with him. He didn’t want to do it but he was struggling with himself and telling me that he knows. I said what do you know? That you don’t know how to relax? he said he knows… he kept repeating it. And then I said oh right I guess the universe is interested in exploring itself to get to know it’s self. It’s been doing this for all eternity but you know it all already. That’s pretty crazy, isn’t it. And then he starting saying that he doesn’t really know it all. And I said thats how the universe sees it… it’s wanting to explore not to know. Once we know the exploring is stunted. The more we know the more we’re stuck and when changes are being orchestrated all around while we’re trying to remain permanently stuck… well that can cause a lot of suffering possibly. He’s got a history and granted I know it’s been challenging, but in our own unique way everyone does… and we’re working that toxicity out of us so we’re not carrying this pattern around… the universe is exploring itself to make changes not to stay cemented in one moment. Isn’t that what we all say… change is inevitable. Well I pretty much was telling him that there’s nothing that can be done if he’s going to be fighting this. He admitted that he wasn’t ready for this. He told me that he told me he wasn’t ready. I asked him when did he say he wasn’t ready? The first time we shared ceremony he asked me for more. I even asked him why did he ask for more before we started. I wanted to hear from him what his experience was like the first time. This is where I wasn’t observant and was hoping for a different result. Again I feel amazing during Bufo… the ceremony was amazing last night and I wanted to experience that with him. But when he said the first time he was getting messages bringing up his trauma. He asked for more so he can see if there was more depth. Well I didn’t share more with him that night because really I wanted to have a solo session with him where he can go deeper. That group dynamic wasn’t quite right and definitely just an introduction. This was our first attempt at going for it. Honestly we did, but not in the way to be predicted. I didn’t know the way to get him to purge about his trama was actually the way it played out in ceremony. Again he was threatening to leave and also asking me to not get too close to him. He has a history of violence and it was a warning for my safety. I heard him and backed off and it was killing me that he got to that extent and I wanted to comfort him so much. It took awhile to get the chance to comfort each other. Once we settled down, we acknowledged we’re not here to argue and for the most part we are agreeing. But we were definitely triggered. I couldn’t believe this was how ceremony was going to go… and I even was saying that during and I was apologizing that it’s going down this way. We’ve been developing our maturity and communication, so we were able to redirect the conversation more constructively. I kept repeating to him that this is the way I’d like to have conversations where we’re talking about real shit… the real work shit than how are conversations have been going lately. Majority of the time when we are together he’s is the talker 90% of the time. It’s not like there’s much silence opportunities. It’s one thought to the next to the next. There’s not a whole lot of back and forth communication and responses. I told him I’ve been trying to give him hints a few times to get him to allow some space for others to talk and maybe be more curious about others too. They would get opportunities to share. Majority of the time he’s repeating stories and seems like there’s a resistance to silence or some word I’m trying to explain it. I’ve ran into many people that are similar in a way. Continuously I have to acknowledge I have these tendencies to a degree so I can relate. But we have each other to learn from. And he’s an amazing guy to be around, but also can be very tasking. I wish it wasn’t so, but honestly it can be. There are things that are getting in his way. Again I’m sure I have my own things that are getting in my way too. I had to remind him that he is very wise, but we have to remember that what advice we’re giving to others we are talking to ourselves to learn more into this wisdom too. We had a really deep and amazing ceremony even though it was in a tough love type of way… we started like a lion and ended like lambs. I think he’s going to be heading to his dads here at the end of the week and I’m helping a little bit here and there so we’ll have more opportunities to have conversations which from now on should be a deeper base level. Not only was ceremony really impactful… I had went to frisbee golf and ran into some really cool guys. There’s one guy who I really enjoy our conversations even though they’ve been very few and far between. But we friended each other on FB, so we can go to other golf locations together sometime and hang. I’m really interested in getting to know him more. I ended up going to my neighbors fire to meet a couple he knew from Indy. My neighbor thought we would mesh well with one another… and he was right and it was really cool! The guy happened to live in a very small town that most people wouldn’t know where it was located. But I happened to have a college friend who is from there and one winter I went and spent the weekend in that same tiny town. We shared a little bit about ourselves. My neighbor and I are getting to know each other and he asked me when I was going back to Peru. I told him I’m going, but I’m not exactly sure when. I’ve been working it out so I have a ticket in and not having a ticket out. I want to be able to feel my way around the area before making a decision who long I’m staying there or not. I guess I’m supposed to be talking to people here in Indiana as of now and see where that goes. I said the universe wants to show me things I’m not expecting so I’m trying to be patient. I have a direction but that path isn’t a straight road. No matter how much I think it should be a straight line… the honest reality it’s going to snake it’s way there and I’m going to be enjoying that much more. I’m trying to not take for granted who and where I’m engaging. I’m interested in them because for some reason we all attracted each other to experience what we are. So I’m going to ask a bit of questions here so I can see if there’s conversations to be had. I told them a bit about myself being a shaman and I found out the the girl has a brother who is a shaman too. He works with native Americans and indigenous in the jungles of Mexico. I mean her brother just bought an excavator for crying out loud… lol… she was getting a bit eerie about it but not in the too creepy way. I guess in a few weeks he and his wife and kids will be driving to the Dakota’s for a moon festival. Which I found really cool. But I think everyone enjoyed themselves. I didn’t friend them right then, but I’ll get the information when I see my neighbor next. Let’s say there’s more windows of opportunity that I see that are available possibly and it gets me excited. I’ve been trying to doing the hunting or in the search for a fit and it seems when I make the first approach of asking… say learn how to operate an excavator it seems like I wasn’t finding the fit that seems to make feel like we’re aligned… but I don’t know about this girl’s brother… that actually seems a lot more appealing than anything I’ve ran into. Her brother is located in North Carolina. I think he’s about to do similar work and I guess the way I’m talking is similar. So yeah… I think I definitely want to reach out and say hello. But yeah… there seems to be something happening right now. I’m looking forward to tomorrow. I plan on going to a new frisbee golf course to try out because I’m going to got to the drumming class. I think the group that met up on Saturday may all join back together in Muncie tomorrow… so sweet! ok.. that’s good for tonight. Until next time.

I don't have experience with 1D-LSD but i do have quite a bit experience with 1P-LSD. Looking up 1D it seems to be one that takes longest to feel any effects. But they both are prodrugs who convert to LSD-25. But the experience i had or simply profound. I cannot explain in words what i experienced. But my last time was pure bliss! i started with 150UG (i already had some experience with truffles on different dosages but still rather low dosages. So i kinda knew how a psychedelic trip could feel.) and the most highest dose i took was 300ug. Which to me is absolutely nuts. I don't see any point in going further. Since i already experienced what egodeath is on that dose. The only "downside" is that the trip takes forever. Which is kinda cool but makes it also a bit hard to just do it. (Allthough i have to say that my last time was in my holiday and i was like 'fck it, lets do it.. 300ug here we go. And it was my best trip yet.) But it goes on way longer than the shrooms/truffles. What i usually do is plan the trip. Mostly doing it on weekends and if my mindset is neutral to good. If i'm in a bad mood i'm not going to trip. I create a good playlist with tripfriendly music or i'm not using music at all. That can be quite profound to as you hallucinate alot of auditory things too. Have some healthy snacks and drinks ready too. you'll get thirsty ! And don't drink alcohol or smoke weed! Go at it with just the lsd. The other substance will only corrupt or ruin the trip. And don't forget start low! you already seem quite cautious which is good. You could for example start with 100ug. And have someone you can trust and who'd be able to be a good tripsitter. Trippling alone is fun too. But not for your first few times. Get to know the substance first!

Hey everyone, I'm sharing this post to recount my harrowing experience with psychedelics, hoping that someone out there might offer some advice or relate to what I've been going through. I've always had a wild imagination and a fascination with trippy dreams, so naturally, I found myself drawn to the world of psychedelics. It all started innocently enough with LSD, which gave me some quirky visuals, nothing too alarming. But then, after a particularly intense LSD trip, things took a twisted turn. I began seeing penises everywhere after watching some porn during the trip - on everyday objects, in nature, even in the clouds! At first, it was even quite amusing, and I laughed it off, thinking it was just a weird side effect that would pass with time. But then, I made the regrettable decision to try 5-MeO-DMT, and that's when my psychedelic journey turned into a full-blown nightmare. I dove into it headfirst, taking it four times in one day, seeking an intense, deep experience. The last trip was an experience beyond words, as if an entire ocean of intensity, love, and pain surged through the very core of my being. It was like being caught in a tumultuous and magnificent wave, where time lost all meaning, and I was engulfed by the raw power of life. As the 5-MeO-DMT took hold of me, it felt like my consciousness was exploding into infinity. The boundaries of my mind dissolved, and I became one with the world. I could feel the energy of the universe flowing through every fiber of my being, connecting me to everything that ever was and ever will be. During the peak of the trip, I was immersed in a state of pure bliss and love. It was as if the very essence of love itself embraced me, cradling me in its warm embrace. I felt an overwhelming sense of interconnectedness with my family, friend, my girlfriend and all living beings, as if we were all threads woven into the tapestry of existence. But amidst the beauty and wonder, there was an undercurrent of pain and shame. It was like a deep, buried part of myself that I had been avoiding, surfacing to be acknowledged. It was an emotional rollercoaster, and I could feel tears streaming down my face as I was going trough the pent-up emotions. It was definitely too much to handle and I couldn't "let go"... Eventually, the intensity began to subside, and I found myself slowly returning to the present reality. As I came back to my senses, those pesky penis visions resurfaced literally everywhere. They were no longer amusing as they had been after previous LSD experience; instead, they felt intrusive, disgusting and overwhelming. It was as if my brain had become fixated on this bizarre imagery, unable to break free from the psychotic loop. In the days that followed, I grappled with a myriad of emotions. On one hand, I felt grateful for the transcendent experience and the connection I had felt with the universe. On the other hand, I was plagued by the relentless visions, which invaded every aspect of my waking life and even intruded upon my dreams. I desperately sought answers, scouring the internet for explanations and solutions. The more I researched, the more I learned about HPPD and the potential risks of using powerful psychedelics. My anxiety only deepened as I read about others who had faced similar challenges after intense trips and didn't come back. If anyone out there has experienced something similar or has any advice to offer, please, I beg you, share your wisdom. I still need help, and I know there are others who do too. Together, we can overcome the darkness that lurks in the wake of psychedelic experiences.

The Bliss some of us we are talking here, is not within the mental/psychological process. What most people understand as happiness is still Maya and suffering, positive thoughts, excitement, peacefulness. That's great and I wish most of the world would be in that. But still, I just want to reiterate, those are still mental states. That is not Bliss.

@Bazooka Jesus Notice that in a 'high state', there is no such a thing as a thought or mental understanding of "I'm in a high state, I'm enjoying this because I can compare it to a low state such as being miserable or stressed!". No! It just instantly feels good! And if you would reside in the high state for 50 years straight, it would still feel good. Because the state has nothing to do with thoughts or memory, The reason a 'High state' feels good, is because energetically is more close to Who you Are, than a low state. Here's a fact, if you stop experiencing your physical body, I can guarantee you it will feel like the best orgasm in the world. It feels like that because Who You Are is not the body, so when it experiences that freedom from bondage, it automatically feels Fucking Awesome. If it wasn't because I know you guys have done psychedelics, I would say you guys that reject Bliss have never ever touch actual Bliss. If not you would not be saying such a things. Overall, what I'm trying to say is that Bliss, Love, Ecstasy, you name it, does not happen in the mind or in the psychological process, this means, is not bound to rules of memory or comparison. Bliss will always feel bliss. Because is not something of the mind or Thought. Is a state that "resembles" or mimics Who You Are: Freedom, Boundlessness, Explosion, Ilimitation.

It was nothing new; it was a deepening and more interconnected knowledge of my previous discoveries. All is consciousness sure, but how interconnected is your consciousness? All is imaginary sure, but are you aware of how you are doing that? So I became conscious of the infinite narratives that I was spawning behind each moment to explain the present experience that was happening. I had this insight before, but the definition and understanding of how this process is unfolding up to its microscopic level really recontextualizes everything. I also felt metaphysical love which is very different from emotions, I would explain it as an embracement of what is, but I really don't have that much of experience to articulate it well. It was not ecstasy or bliss; it was just abstract love independent of the content, so the love could not be another content. Probably the most shocking understanding was about awakening, understanding what that word means or points to. It felt like all my life I had been severely drunk and now I finally had sobered up from that confusion. It felt a lot like that, it's a really accurate description. Extra points for Malt: The afterglow is gorgeous. My mind has been able to lock and make permanent some of the features of the trip. My mind's stability has been improved significantly, I don't know if this will be temporary or it will go away, but it feels that some of it will definitely stay. Yes you are right scientifically speaking it's very safe in this regard. However, in subjective experience it's opening another can of worms. Don't you feel overwhelmed and exhausted after 8h of intense sensory amplification? At least I do.

It doesn't work like that. The clarity, happiness, love and bliss you had before is still within you. It is metaphysically impossible for it to go elsewhere. It's more so that you "gained" more inner noise. Not that you lost anything.

Exactly. ? That's why I am saying that 24/7 bliss stops being (experienced as) bliss. We need the interplay of light and darkness in order to be able to experience anything at all.

There is some truth to what you are saying . It's in retrospect that we realise sleep is the best state . But the complete absence of all qualia cannot be called anything other than pure consciousness or pure bliss with zero interruption. Isn't Buddha mind or no mind what's traditional Buddhism teach? So awakening to the Buddha means the cessation of all mental activity. Even in meditation you can't achieve that . But you can achieve it perfectly in deep sleep . And trust me ..too much consciousness is a curse. Thank god that we are not aware of subtle things like the sounds of ants when they argue about who gets to eat the sugar tonight lol ? ??

Sorry, I meant the highest level of good life and bliss. Not christianity. My bad.

We have all seen some forms of spirituality where the gurus actively deny the thinking is somehow anti spiritual or you should just quiet your mind to have a more holistic view of reality. Even I entertained this idea for long that had been a huge cockblock in my enlightenment journey. Just take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of this claim 1) You claim that Truth cannot be communicated, but only experienced. 2) You are making a Truth claim. 3) You are communicating what you think is true. 4) You had to think to arrive at this conclusion, only for you to say that thinking is a-spiritual. Even religious dudes do not hold this level of contradiction in a single sentence. Even Sadhguru says you should merely let your mind come up with thoughts, but you could sit there in bliss while disidentifying from the chatter of the mind as a whole. This is totally unnecessary even if you want to avoid suffering. It is totally okay to identify with the mind, when you realize that everything is God and it is literally the imagination of God. It is so Freking obvious, yet I wasted a lot of time entertaining this stupid idea that you cannot describe or communicate Truth via language. To being with, you could never communicate anything with language. Language is merely ink on paper or pixels on a screen. Words are nothing but pointers. If you can have pointers to calculus and poems, of course you can have pointers to absolute or relative Truth or whatever you are dealing with. If thinking makes your life better or closer to god, then maybe God did intend you to think about God. It was you who thought of God's creating as a bug and not as a splendidly useful tool for creativity and imagination.

Yes. And when there are ever more Awakenings n+1, the real Awakening/Full Enlightenment hasn't happen yet. And this is a very beautiful and very true statement. That love/bliss/compassion is what stabilizes the shift into ones True Being. And where there is not much love/bliss/compassion... Water by the River