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why I won’t commit suicide. unless I have a chronic terminal illness and am totally non-functioning. beyond just the harm it would cause my loved ones possibility one: spirituality is true . which would mean that I am an immortal soul who willingly choss to incarnate as a human . suicide would be completely counterproductive , and I’d probably just want to come back to finish my mission anyway. possibility two: the materialist perspective, which I havent completely deconstructed yet. life is a one time thing, and when I die I will literally cease to exist so basically nothing could be bad enough to prematurely end my existence. either way, whether I like it in the moment or not, here I am. it basically doesn’t matter how bad my depression gets, I’m still gonna fight and keep growing.

Martyrs (Pascal Laugier) is a very very brutal but deep film about extreme suffering and trancendence. Thanks to @LSD-Rumifor the recommendation. We shouldn't forget that in this world there exist states of suffering where having the option of suicide would be pure heaven..

He has been charged with human trafficking in continued form, rape in continued form, and forming an organized criminal gang. It's been two months. Here are the charges for Andrew and Tristan. Second set of charges are incoming soon. These charges one could be the biggest blow by far for Team Tate since it's expected to be about 1) Minor Trafficking. 2) Money laundering. 3) Favouring the perpetrators. 4) Influencing statements. Imagine even being investigated for trafficking minors for making pornographic content. It's so over. Any public figure that even remotely supports him is not going to judged well. It's so bad, like supporting J.Epstein. Nothing short of reputational suicide. Not even close. The court evaluated the brothers net worth to be 10 mill. That's the total assets for two people as found by the court. At best there were a few months where he earned a lot from HU, around a couple of millions/month. He was putting a facade for the most part. Highly likely that he rented his planes and yacht. To remain truly neutral requires a lot of work. Giving Tate the benefit of doubt is not being neutral. There hasn't been any competent authority speaking up for Tate's opposition. He had unanimous control over the narrative.

Don't pretend like you know anything about me besides what you see on an internet forum. Also respect is earned, not given. Not supporting ideas where people harm themselves is actually pretty kind and helpful, as opposed to enabling it. Like a lot of people here you seem to be more concerned with placating feelings and making rainbows, than having the stomach to talk about difficult things. So much wasted time spinning in circles on drivel like a low consciousness idiot, instead of putting ourselves and feelings aside to get at important things. Consider it might actually be you who doesn't respect women. Let me know how happy and fulfilled she is 5 years from now in a cat filled apartment because no worthy guy she's attracted to in their right fucking mind would commit to someone with a self-inflicted terrible past. It's so kind of you to encourage that kind of self-suicide. Have fun with that. Adios!

I mean he just uses his most pessimistic (potential) deductions mostly as a way to ruminate. As he considers for several reasons that the benefit/risk ratio of his libidinal agenda (sex, love, friendships, professional success, etc. and recognition in general) is too weak, he prefers to synthesize and fixate on a reality where he can recognize himself as the victim/hero. That's why psychedelics and SSRIs (serotonergics) or antipsychotics work well to suppress rumination, they suppress libido and therefore all attack "tricks" to avoid his dissatisfaction and therefore possible psychotic turns, including idealization of suicide. "olala god is mean because this is..." -> post on actualized.org -> "I am the victim/hero who denounces the evil god who does this that" -> recognition (illusory) as a hero/victim . Bonus: Ban because bothers everyone on the forum -> "I'm the hero/victim who denounces God and who gets banned because the others don't want to see the reality blablabla" (second benefit). Without going into details (anyway I'm lazy lol), it's basically one of the most ubiquitous atavisms in humans. It does not contradict the materialist paradigm Your brain (or if you prefer "entity that perceives objective reality") could simply have been wrong (hallucinating). The proof would be that you could have taken a photo or something like that, which is not the case.

@UnlovingGod so for a suicide attempt they isolated you for several months in a psychiatric hospital? It seems like a recipe to go crazy irreversibly

I had a suicide attempt after two and a half years of deep constant suffering without any pause. At the end my health wasn't at risk, but I got transported to a psychiatric hospital. And it's a hellish experience. There are People that get psychotic breaks, start to feel like snakes throwing glass bottles. When you enter there, you don't have any guarantee to leave this place. The doctors and psychologist leave you in the dark. Then you ask the people around you, how long they were kept there. Some months, some years and then it starts being a terrible mind game against those, who look after you. You feel like crying, but you can't cry, because there is no privacy, everybody is watching you and you want to give a good impression. You don't have Internet, you are completely isolated from the outside world. There is no garden, the only fresh air, you may get, is, when you want to smoke a cigarette. So I started smoking. I couldn't even see trees, but at least I wanted to experience the fresh air coming through the windows. When you don't have any social support from friends and families, even if you have just a mild diagnosis, you'll be there for various months. The doctors don't care about you, they don't even make diagnosis. Just shut up and don't make a scene or you'll be there for ever and there is no law preventing this as you are isolated and literally declared as mentally ill. This wasn't a psychiatric hospital in North Korea, it was in Munich, Germany. I don't want to imagine, what it's like in other places. So please to the people considering suicide, more likely than not, those will be your consequences.

Explain yourself. It is never easy to understand why someone attempts suicide.. and the reasons are varied and complex. Often suicide involves emotional or physical pain that someone finds to be unbearable and leaves them feeling as if there is no escape.

@Leo Gura I have the same thoughts regarding suicide. Its like You still have an attachment for life . Killing the body is no guarantee of less suffering t. That’s a projection-based story you’re telling yourself. Do you want to deal with suffering in an existence you understand and can control..or are you feeling lucky and ready to gamble? It’s all just a guessing game really.

Keep in mind that Tolle was at levels of suffering where he was on the brink of killing himself. That kind of suffering, in itself, will teach you many powerful lessons. But it's also quite dangerous to go that far. There's no guarantee you won't just kill yourself rather than awaken. So hoping to copy Tolle's path is likely to end in disaster. I would rather you guys don't go down that path. Which is why we're having this discussion. You have to really consider the cost paid to attain certain spiritual attainments. The suffering and risk to attain it might not be worth it. Or at least it's something you should seriously contemplate. Because the way most people frame it is like this: I will do some peaceful meditation and awaken like Tolle. But they leave out the insane suffering which was essential to his path. If you consider the Buddha's story, his suffering was also very intense. So you have to ask yourself, how much suffering am I willing to endure in order to reach the so-called end of suffering? And what if I endure all that suffering and never reach the end? There is probably some correlation between how deeply you suffer and how deeply you awaken, such that the really deep awakenings cost so much in suffering that very few people end up paying that price. And many people who end up paying the price but never awakening. Cause there's no guarantees that your suffering will turn out as well as Tolle or the Buddha. It could just turn into a typical hellish life and suicide.

@Buck Edwards Honesty: Wouldn’t you rather have a simple policy than a complicated one? Your current perspective is not a workable approach. This results in a damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Either way you are damned. Truth hides from no one. So, when you introduce lies, you are hiding your amazing qualities, and limiting your abilities and getting weaker and weaker, and becoming useless and failing in life. You are willingly committing spiritual and mental suicide. Why? Because someone says a bunch of words, that you attach hurtful meanings? Don’t look to the past. Let the past pass. Do you know what the mind is? It is simply a diary. A record of everything that you lost. Nothing more, it is designed to limit you, to inhibit you, to incapacitate you, to paralyze you. To destroy you. The past is all composed of lies, death… nonexistence. Your incredibly powerful consciousness recreates the energy(pictures) of the past and creates a perpetual hell for you. That is what hell is, you know. The past. You then bring it to shape your present and future. Your future is damnation. What is the antidote? Mental toughness. What is mental toughness? The ability to handle the energy of the past, the voices that tell you to stop, the voices of doubt, fear, regret, failure. The voices that tell you can’t succeed. The voices that make excuses and justifications. Fighting through the sickness, the disease, the discomforts that come your way. Mental toughness is the solution. You do that by making constant improvements in your life. It is by validating your improvements and making it your life mission to keep improving, no matter what. Massive action is the key here. It is the gradual realization and development of your near unlimited potential. A good way to start is with your fitness goals. If you are not improving, you are sliding down into the abyss. SD orange is right about one thing. Achievements is the grease of life; it loosens the friction and make life worth living. First you want to achieve the status of winner, and you want to be able to win and lose with the same level of enthusiasm. Have the mentality that you can't lose, because losing is giving up and you are determined to never give up. When your purpose is strong, you are strong, and you care much less about what people think... what most people think is full of shit anyway. Sorry for the pep talk. I usually don’t bother with the motivational stuff. I leave the motivational stuff to people like Tony Robbins or the like. It’s your life. You are source. Use your life as you choose. I am moving on from this topic. P.S. As for your police example. Know your rights. Study the constitution/Bill of Rights. Or your countries law. You generally are not obligated to speak to the police in the interest of being able to defend yourself in the court of law, fair trial and not incriminate yourself.

It seems to have really helped this dude, even though he was on the verge of suicide prior to taking it.

I can't stop thinking about just dying man. It seems like the only rational and easy solution to end my pain and suffering. I've been thinking of it for so long now of various intensities over the years, but the last few weeks have been real intense for me. The thought of it, if I'm being honest, makes me a little happy. The benefit of me dying now is that I would no longer feel any more pain. I would no longer suffer. I'd no longer have to put up with the hopelessness that I've caused. It wasn't always like this; when my life was going well, I never had thoughts of committing suicide ever. Once I realised that, actually, I've made some huge errors and because of these huge errors my life will never be the same, and that I'll never reach my potential because of these errors I did, and that literally everybody I know is zooming past me and doing well with their lives and making huge progress while I'm here getting lower and lower on the spectrum, this realisation is when I've started to have these suicidal thoughts. And the more lower I get, the more intense the suicidal thoughts and the more sense it makes that death is the answer. It's also compounded by hopelessness of the future. The future seems bleak due to a series of mistakes I've made. If I didn't make those mistakes, my future would be different and, in my opinion, much better for me. But because I made those errors, I've put myself in a situation that is hard to climb out of. Because of those errors, I know that I am working at a level that is much lower than my actual capacity. Add to this the fact that I'm an adult now and getting older. I feel old too. By my current age I thought I would have certain things that are important to me: I thought I would have a career in the big city, which I don't and am nowhere near of getting. In fact, I am unemployed with no college degree and am in debt. I also don't care how my death would affect others; they'll get over it in a few weeks probably. All I'm doing is leaching off my parents and causing them suffering because they have to go around knowing their son is a failure. Perhaps it makes sense to say that me dying would be a sort of breath of fresh air for them, in the long term? Even my younger brother doesn't look at me in the same way; he used to respect me but now I know for sure he just resents me now for failing so much and so often with nothing tangible to show. Many departments of my life are not the way I'd like them to be: my career (or lack of career), no intimate relationship (never had one anyway), various persisting medical problems that I know are going to cause me further struggle, money issues, no purpose, no real close friends I am in pain and suffering much, much more than I am ever in enjoyment and pleasure. My life is not fun. It doesn't seem like it'll ever be fun. Therefore, suicide makes complete sense, right?

Do you expect healing to be all positive and flowering singing kumbayá? Think again. It could be as hard as a literally exorcism, talking from experience. My only observation about this guy which I followed when he post it, is that this was his first ever psychedelic, so yeah it was expected to be insanely intense. He was thinking if I recall well to do suicide because he tried to heal from non-psychedelics options so this was his final option.

I, as most of you, went trough life geniuenly believing in Materialism and Evolution. Never ever would I have believed I could potentially have psychotic tendencies until a random Thursday in March Corona year 2020 dramatically changed my life when I had an existential crisis and a severe emotional breakdown. My heart felt like someone stabbed one thousand knives into it and murdered me. The reason was I felt so utterly alone, bored, abandoned and pointless in my own existence that my ego committed suicide and ever since then I have ZERO ACCESS to my geniuene emotions. My perception changed 100%. Everything looked evil and dead all of a sudden. Around this time I stumbled upon Leo who then told me "You are God". This information went straight to my heart and it clicked, but I was terrified and couldn't really do much with this information so I abandoned it, it always stuck with me though. ........................... What do you think happens when someone can literally not feel anything for years on end? Well you guessed at some point I became literally insane. My ego did not only "commit suicide" it fucking went insane, nuts. At some point I saw 666 everywhere daily. Leo was the antichrist, I could see horns grow out of his skull. Every spiritual guru was the devil trying to lure me into falsehood. In fact, the devil had already killed me by making me commit the eternal sin of Blaspheming the Spirit. I geniuenly believed that by the end of a certain year the world would go literally under and aliens would come down to kill and torture all of us. I thought I would get crucified upside down. I was scared of looking in the sky. At some point I tasted rotten flesh on my tongue. I was fucking dead. Or so I thought. .............. On one hand I had the "evidence" that this was happening because I kept seeing the signs everywhere continually. On the other hand it felt so fucking stupid. How could creation ever kill the creator? Was God fucking evil? I constantly thought that this must be total garbage. At some point I broke down wheeping, l told all of this my christian ex boyfriend. I gave him so much evidence yet he would not believe me. "God cannot die nor commit suicide" he would say. Then, I smoked cannabis by chance and out of nowhere I thought "What if I am just dreaming? I am God. I am trolling myself to realize who I am. Infinity" The hallucinations stopped, just like that. I was in three institutions due to this condition, no therapy in the world could ever help me. Truth did. I have hope. I can breathe again. I am free. I can heal myself and achieve literally anything I want. TDLR: I just trolled myself to realize who I am. It worked. Also, mental illness will make your awakening shit.

Because human is largely skewed to allow access to important peaks of enjoyment, of "small death of the ego" only in the event of reproduction. But fundamentally the libido is independent of the sexual act and omnipresent at some basal level. Eating, smoking, crying, laughing, playing sports, being jealous of someone, being melancholy, being sad, doing housework, reading etc etc, all of this is in one way or another the expression of libidinal tension and emotions are totally the translation. I believe that if you were really unable to experience emotions you would not be on Actualized but rather died of suicide/anorexia, or in a psychiatric hospital. Your profile picture shows someone sad and melancholic, which is not an expression of apathy at all.

Why do we feel suicidal? Why we just want to die sometimes even when life seems good?

@Salvijus I'm also trying to listen to the old testament. It has a lot of wisdom except for some laws I guess which are boring to listen to. It is all boring. My communication is dumn and I don't remember what I hear to repeat to other people which is my flaw. I might be on the path, but I'm still not gonna let go of suicide, nor am I sure that I am on a path to a job. My rep is tarnished and my health I guess. It's just that I won't be able to make it anywhere, especially living where I live in peace and health. I want to walk a path to heaven, but man, it is not meant. Obviously God has to have some sense of social justice and Marxism, otherwise I'm never going to heaven.

Hey guys, Leo talks about accepting death is extremely vital to becoming enlightened. Would suicidal people be able to accept ego death easier than others because they want to die anyways? Or is that just false?

Do you think, that there can be such intense emotional or physical pain that, anybody, no matter how much willpower he or she has or how much enlightened he or she is, would commit suicide?

@Schizophonia but don't you remeber when they banned them in the 60 cause people were getting too happy and peaceful not too insane. The insanity alcohol causes is just as bad and self destructive. Alcohol is a ticking time bomb. First you start to have fun then it goes to people only like me when I'm drunk. Then no one likes me so I drink alone to suicide . People don't need drugs they need a place in their mind that gives them peace. Alcohol does that for a short period of time but is very destructive. Mushroom can do that for you permanently and can't be taxed.

Does Leo expect marriages and households to crumble on the path to awakening? Will Leo have children? If Leo expects us to face insanity and even flirt with the risk of suicide (plugging DMT), will a relationship survive these strains? Thanks

All relationships and your identification with them will need to be seriously deconstructed if want to understand higher / deeper truths. No way can your current way of relating to reality survive or be maintained at these higher states of consciousness (no, I’m not talking about suicide being the answer). Furthermore, not willing to explore beyond your current paradigm is what keeps you stuck; there’s a bountiful amount of defense mechanisms that prevent you from doing so in the first place. Unlike with some other spiritual traditions, the work we’re doing is not about avoiding relationships, nor is it about merely improving current ones and striving to making them peaceful and “perfect” based on others’ standards. Instead, what we’re after is having a profound and intuitive understanding of what any and all relationships fundamentally are. We need to be very clear on how they shape our worldview and identity. This is not going to happen automatically and effortlessly, hence why it can appear to feel like “dying”.

I'm getting pulled to opposite directions by 2 forces. One wants me to live, and the other one wants me to kill myself. Both suicide and staying alive is bad. Impossible problem, and I don't even know how I got here. So that makes me stuck. Not dead, not alive, just mysteriously existing. Pretty sure I will get weird dreams now when I go to bed.

Fact is.. that it doesn't matter what I do, or how hard I try, or how hard I don't try. Because life is unfair, I'm a victim, and I'm in hell. Anyone who says otherwise/disagrees with me, is just confirming that. There is no way out. Not even suicide. You guys don't understand how fucking bad it is. Sometimes not even I understand it. That's how bad it is. Anyone who disagrees is just trying to cope with the shit. Or he/she got lucky in the life lottery.