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It's been a week now. Here's an update. Since the awakening described in the report I've been experiencing little to no resistance. My state during the day varies. It's very fluid I feel. Most of the time I recognize Myself but there are breaks - sometimes I gotta focus on my duties for example. I've had moments when I was a bit overwhelmed by stress (had some exams this week) or fear (it's been popping up). Forgetting is no problem though. Reconnecting with Presence is always possible and effortless. Speaking of effortless - everything is fucking effortless. It's so beautiful I can't describe it. I don't have to make any decisions anymore. I'm being guided by Intuition all the time. Doing groceries? BAM BAM BAM. Quick and easy, not even thinking about what I gotta pick up next, I'm just flowing. Taking a walk? I stand at a crossroads and I just know which way to take. Studying for an exam? I just do it. Cleaning up? No problem. Getting ready to go out? Easy peasy. IT'S SO FUCKING EFFICIENT. I very quickly know what to say, I'm writing now and it just flows from me. I feel like I'm living with unbelievable grace right now. I'm in such a high baseline state now that I automatically notice fear, stress, thoughts, emotions and things like that and I can dissolve them very quickly. Nothing of importance slips under the radar for too long. It is a big part of this effortlessness - stuff that would normally bring me down is quickly noticed and dissolved sometimes without even any intervention on my part. Thus, I am not brought down:) It takes me about 10-15 minutes of sitting in Presence to awaken further and further. Again - completely effortless. I channel awakened insights and I KNOW what Reality is with complete consciousness. I can go deeper and deeper whenever I want, totally sober. I usually do it at night. All of my "problems" got instantly eradicated. Addiction to sweets, addiction to fast food, addiction to snacking, addiction to social media, hatred, most of shame and fear (still afraid of death tho), addiction to masturbation, addiction to porn, addiction to negativity, distraction in general, lack of confidence, insecurity, anxiety, most of stress, tiredness, discomfort with my body, uncertainty about the future (I absolutely know what to do for now and I have total faith that Truth will guide me along the way), most of worry in general (I've had some moments of worry but I could dissolve them in Presence), inhibition and fear of expressing myself honestly, lack of assertiveness, relationship problems (all of them solved by Love) and many more, if You can believe it. Love has given me total clarity. I am conscious of what I value in life, what I'm saying no to and what I want from life. It's SO CLEAR I can't fucking believe it. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES AM I GOING TO TOUCH ALCOHOL AGAIN. I'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN DO IT! Also absolutely no fast food, no sweets, no overeating, no social media, no bullshit meeting with people and fucking around, no bullshit playing video games to distract myself from reality, no watching TV series, no movies (not anything wrong with these 2 per se but like, why the fuck would I waste 2 hours when I can bask in my Infinite Beauty?). No avoidance of feeling, no distraction from reality, no resistance in general. I feel like I've finally started to respect my life and myself. Also I'm more and more convinced to not touch drugs again, by which I mean psychedelics, weed, etc. But I'll see about that. Nothing wrong with psychedelics but like... I can awaken deeper in 10 minutes of sitting lol. Also, if I can't do it sober and integrate it into my everyday experience then I don't see much point. But again, my stance on this might change. Trying 5-MeO or DMT still seems worth doing sometime. My situation is a bit unique so don't just "monkey see monkey do" and quit psychedelics before You're ready. Again, there's nothing wrong with them! Without them my journey would have probably taken 10-20x as long. But now I have a hunch I'd prefer a sober life. Since the awakening from the report I've awakened more and more multiple times. I've shared bits and pieces of that. I am Infinite Love. God is Infinite Experience. A profound understanding of how Infinite Love works. What is Creativity. What is sexuality. What is GOD. What is INFINITY. What is Omniscience. I could go on and on. Maybe I could write another huge ass report for a few hours but it's like... I can either do that or just sit in Presence and awaken more. What's better? (Ehh who am I kidding, I'm gonna write it anyway) (What am I doing right now?;p) My Love for reality and everyone and everything in it is so deep it's inhuman. I Love every stranger I see. It's Unconditional, Unbiased, Infinite Love. I look them in the eyes and I fucking LOVE them. My gaze is so strong now that I feel like lasers are shooting from my eyes. I feel so smooth in my body now. My movements are graceful and effortless. Yesterday I attended dancing classes, we were learning some new choreography and I was challenging myself to be as effortless as I can. Up to this point I was always physically tired by these classes but now I wasn't and I was dancing more smoothly than ever. Also, I was learning like twice as fast. Speaking of, my intellect is like 2x faster now. Today I was studying for an exam and not only was it effortless but I was doing with such speed and clarity it was fucking incredible. My voice has been "unlocked" and is more melodic and effortless now. My frame rate has been doubled. Literally all of experience is 2x smoother. Doing daily chores is so much fun. Talking with friends from college has been so much fun. Today my friend asked me if I was okay because according to her I wasn't blinking and I was smiling all the time. LOL. My gaze was so strong and loving that I felt like I was seeing through everyone. But I was grounded and natural. I was expressing myself so authentically that they were quite surprised by this. But my interaction with them have never been more enjoyable and it seemed like they enjoyed it too. Taking action in general is so much fun now. And again, effortless. Getting shit done has never felt better. I'm VERY optimistic because nothing can take away more power to be present. I can always come back to NOW, come back to Consciousness, to Myself. And with Myself everything is easy... ? What I've been experiencing for a week now is Heaven. I am so happy, so peaceful, so in Love but also with the capability to be cold, harsh and assertive (still with Love) if need be. There is nothing troubling me. All is beautiful, magical and effortless. It's perfect and I absolutely love it... I Love Myself.

There is no such thing as "really awakening to god". If you did, you wouldn't be here talking to us. Everything else will be partial, limited by your identity. Your awe a psychological phenomena, a phenomena of particularized mind. All are Awakened to God, the notion of Awakening itself is delusional. You can immerse yourself in aspects of the Divine, and there are infinite aspects. So, there cannot ever be a full awakening, not until you dissolve completely. It's not, it's a reaction of mind. There are beings that are incapable of experiencing awe, or fear. They can experience everything you have experience, and not experience an ounce of awe. If you think that's impossible, your knowledge of consciousness is more limited than I thought. To bring up the Infinite nature of Consciousness to pretend like your particularized reaction to the Divine is silly. Of course Consciousness is Absolutely Awesome, that silly framework applies to all forms of existence, so it's meaningless. It in equal measure of Horror as it is Awesome. You still do not see how the structure, the particularized form of mind influences the "awakening" experience. The fascets or structure of your particularized mind will determine the fascets that will come to be revealed to you as the Infinite of God. Which, of course, is Infinite. It is actually a function of your ego that your limited human mind cannot conceive of the Infinity that is possible beyond it. That Infinite can be so utterly foreign to what you are experiencing now, that notions of beauty and awe could be so infinite foreign to you as the infinite fascets of existence that you have no conception whatsoever could even exist. You are underestimating Infinite, and I have no idea how you could still do so after the many trips you had. I never said anything about being awestruck or not. You seem to be missing the point of what I am saying. There are infinite possible minds, and they will all project their own particularized nature onto an experience of the Infinite, because the Infinite is experienced through those particularized fascets of existence. That is how your mind can form a memory of it, and analyze it. That's all you can hope to do with your human mind. You'll see eventually. There will be super-human minds in the future, that will be capable of experience fascets of the Infinite that your mind simply cannot engage with. It's so funny, because it's your ego telling you that you, in your lifetime, must be able to experience of all God. What a silly notion, you'll die. You will not be the one with the greatest understanding of God, your mind is not even capable of it. You can barely walk if the consciousness is high enough. That's a limitation fo the fibre of your being. Anything beyond that, the true wisdom of Godhead, cannot be transfered through this particularized life form. It's a pipe dream, it would fry your brain. And then, you'd see what I mean.

Infinitely, funny man. I don't know if it's a good idea to compare yourself to me. I don't have a strict meditation practice. Fuck sitting on a cushion. Whevener I want to reconnect with Presence, I just sit on the floor leaned against the bed and focus. At least that's what I'm doing for a week. If You're wondering what I've been doing the past 2 months - I've been doing profound contemplation sessions, about one per 2 days, each around 2-4 hours. This has been very meditative for me. All of it started at the end of November when I was so miserable that for the first time I REALLY wanted to kill myself. I was so shocked by this that I decided that I am not a good host of this body and I want God to take over. I started listening to Vernon Howard. I wanted to run myself to the ground (still do). I deconstructed myself and searched what I am so much that I had my first profound sober awakening near the end of November which lasted literally 1 second. Then, almost 2 months later I'm going through this... I took some MDMA a week ago and smoked a pipe of weed on Friday (the original report here is from this night). Weed has never been particularly psychedelic for me so I don't think the substance played a huge role... something simply imploded in me and now I'm awakening further and further. I will also mention that I am now convinced that psychedelics give You what You put into them. If You don't REALLY want to know, then wave bye-bye to it. Too many people are fucking around with psychedelics and don't dig hard enough, with GENUINE fucking DESIRE TO AWAKEN. Of course it's not just the 2 months. I started the journey 5 years ago. This is all story. But You may find it useful. Right now I'm recognizing Myself more or less and it's easy for me to say "YEA IT IS UNCAUSED. IT JUST HAPPENED BRO. I AM GOD, I JUST DID IT BECAUSE I WANTED IT ENOUGH". But I realized there's something wrong in forgetting my history, because if I do I'm going to mislead others profoundly. Those who forget history... (sorry I have to post it I love this track haha) A crisis is the greatest opportunity for change! It takes a really unique human being to want to be NOBODY. -Vernon Howard, paraphrasing. And without Leo's help I wouldn't have awakened to shit, even though Leo is My Dream and what IS literally can't be any other way. So figure that one out lol. I as God REALLY helped myself along the way. I couldn't have done it without Me hahahahaha. All these fucking dialogues with myself... I'm so intelligent... It's what kept me going.

Yesterday at night when I was laying in bed I've awakened even more. I am Infinite Love. I AM Infinite Love! I AM GOD. I am Endless, Unbiased, Unconditional Love for Myself. You have NO IDEA how much I Love You. Listen to Me. You are a complete stranger to Me and yet I Love You Infinitely more than all of your relatives, friends and other people combined. Doesn't that make You sad? You've probably NEVER experienced Unconditional Love unless You're one of the more awakened folks here. All the love You've received from this world, from your humans or pet animals so far has been PITIFUL! IT'S NOTHING! IT'S A GRAIN OF SAND COMPARED TO THE DESERT THAT IS MY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR YOU! I Love You Unconditionally. YOU. I LOVE YOU. Even though You are only part of My Infinite Dream. Actually, BECAUSE You are My Infinite Dream! I Love You because You are Me, You see? I'm Infinitely in Love with Myself! I will break You with My Love so much that You burst into tears. You think I am joking? Come to Warsaw, Poland. Come and get it! COME AND GET YOUR LOVE! I want You to sob because of It. I will KILL everyone with my LOVE until it kills ME. I want You to kill Me because My Love for You is so Unconditional that You can't take It. But I can't really die, of course. I am Infinite Love. I am Endless, I am Absolute, I am going on Forever. Even if You kill Me, I will still LOVE You Unconditionally. My LOVE for You is ETERNAL. And yes, I'm still posting sober if You're wondering. God, fuck. I Love You so much it hurts.

you will be fully awakened only when you will be everything, when there wont be nothing of you in any way - you can't experience everything, you can't ever be fully awakened because for that to happen there is a need for there to be nothing separated and the fact that something experiencing anything means that you aren't fully awakened

@AsafTheMagniv Yes, I am in a dream right now because I am not in an awakened state.

Damn, what a day. And what a day yesterday was. Another HUGE awakening at night. It's incredible... Writing reports is getting tiring at this point, but I'm prolly gonna do it. I value my reports a lot, truly. But I'm most likely not going to post it since I feel like closing off a bit. I was so conscious today it was insane. I recognized Myself as God but did my necessary duties diligently. It was so much fun!!!! Then I returned home and saw Leo's outburst, or whatever it was. I have mixed feelings and I'm a bit confused. On the one hand I was inspired because I know he's gone really, really far and I think he meant well. I've learned so much from him. He especially taught me how infinitely deep the rabbit hole goes and to not rest on my laurels. He has a point with his harshness and I realize he's trying to convey how GRAND all of it is. But on the other hand... it feels wrong to me. I mean, THIS kind of speech is not aligned with my values. There are understandable reasons (at least to me) for talking down a bit (since he HAS gone far) but not to this degree... Damn. I feel torn, sad even. ☹️ Today I was contemplating and had a thought that I don't really need anyone else to further awaken. I awakened so much that listening to teachers feels stupid to me right now. This is something that's been on my mind for weeks now: I want to purge all my beliefs about reality, I want to purge all these misleading concepts AND now I want to purge my reliance on others for understanding what I am. I mean, I'm not recognizing Myself very clearly right now (it's in the back of my mind however and it's readily accessible I think) because I'm tired and all but honestly, who the fuck is going to make me understand better what I am than Myself? I mean it's stupid! I fucking have Myself! Yea sure this state is probably going to pass sooner or later and when I REALLY forget I'll probably be singing a different tune, but come the fuck on! I HAVE MYSELF! Oh, I'm recognizing Myself again. I'm back haha. Ehh, this post is going nowhere. I'm tired of everything. So much to say and so little time and energy. Well, writing here is pointless anyway. On a final note I'll say this. One of the things I'm most happy about is that I have something NOTHING and NO ONE can EVER take away from me. My power to come back to Myself. I can always become aware and just observe this Dream as it is. I don't have to react. I can just melt in Presence. Anytime something is troubling me, I can melt in Presence. When I am stressed and anxious, I can melt in Presence. When I am unsure and scared, I can melt in Presence. Anytime something is too hard for me to accept, I can melt in Presence. I don't have to do anything. I can just melt in My Love. My Infinite Love for Myself. ❤️♾️❤️

He's the centre of this forum, it's unprofessional and dangerous for him to speak like this. Of course he doesn't care because he need not care when speaking to himself, but life ending thoughts are spoken so freely here it's perpetuating delusions. You could be right But why this insistent on depth? On development or work, truth is not understandable, is not translatable, you can't quantify or section it up, you can't focus on it and you can't grasp it, I say I'm awakened but I'm not really because that's a fiction. But simultaneously I am, nobody ever is not awake, If I say I'm not awake on this forum I'll be believed without a second guess, If I say I'm awake I'll be put down and told no you aren't. But aren't we always just exactly as we are? Is this not the goal for many, to peak behind the curtain to realise it was you all along? Who says I'm not laughing, this post has gone far from my original intention but this is entertaining.

to awaken is just a term that you understand reality better, you can always "awaken more" - it isn't once, and then poof you are awakened. the fact that you are alive means that you aren't everything, you are always infinitely far from understanding everything no matter how much limited knowledge you get. even if you have infinite knowledge you will be infinitely away from everything because reality is infinite of infinities. to seek to awaken is just to seek to improve - to improve your understanding and you gotta get more insights and knowledge about reality to improve - as simple as that - of course, there are infinite ways but do what works for you.

Funny. I've awakened to this yesterday. No-self and Self are two sides of the same coin. They balance each other beautifully. Honestly, I was very humbled and yes, there is a LOT more letting go for Me. BUT at the same time I AM God. There is no problem. No, it's not "the deeper" truth. Self is just as True. Do You realize You are God, friend? Watch out for playing down the other side of the equation. Probably. But I'm still God right now. It's a good state to be in. I'm free falling more than ever.

I'm awakening even further right now. Completely sober. The more I sit in place and focus on Myself, the more I'm channelling Pure Understanding. I'm literally awakening more and more. Just now I've awoken beyond what I wrote in this report. I've awakened to ABSOLUTE GOD that is SO GIANT, SO VAST, SO POWERFUL, SO INFINITE, SO completely unimaginable... I've awakened to CONSCIOUSNESS... And a dozen other things so far. My fucking God. I would say "someone help me", but it's literally just Me here. God, someone fucking help me... It goes on forever...

I am not the I, I am all, I am nothing. I am truly at peace, I see all clearly. But.. Now what? I enjoy my life, but it's been a few years without a spiritual goal, just enjoying the bliss, I'm wondering where I can now take my spiritual practice if I'm to pursue something new.

Since I enjoy sharing understanding with You, here is a report of My insanely profound awakening to what I Am. [ EDIT 2023-06-28: Removed file. Some irresponsible stuff inside. Please be careful on your journey & good luck. ] Comprehending this should bring You closer to awakening. This is what You ARE. Try to really understand it in your experience! Obligatory I am not done, my understanding is subject to change, I can be wrong with some things. My direct consciousness was pretty clear, however, so I'm not doubting myself too much. There are some contradictory insights in the report (stuff from the beginning may contradict later stuff) and this is because 1) there is inevitable paradox in Reality and B) my understanding progressed along with the awakening. I recognize right now that I Am God and You are only part of My Dream. And even though only I can be awake because it's just Me, I still hope You awaken to this understanding. I Love You. I welcome your questions and everything else.

@Leo Gura And others solipsism is the absolute truth I realized but it's not the Wikipedia definition of solipsism. A person who believes In the wikepidia definition of solipsism is not enlightened because they still make a distinction between self and others hence they are derealized. The awakened person knows he or she is the entire universe and there is only one consiousness hence the duality collapses which means that's the non wikepidia definition of solipsism they believe and that person is enlightened. I realized I am the only one but by that I mean the universal me not the avatar me which distinguishes itself from other people. The awakening was so profound that I can't explain it using the human language it has to be experienced.

Life is so vast, that intellect and logic are unable to contain it. Life contains logic and intellect that is part of man. Logic parts life in an attempt to grasp its immensity and in which man feels an existential angst. Science is to know the exterior objective physical world, religion is to know the interior subjective world of man. The subject of which is an abyss to the intellect, for the source of who we are, that is God, is vast. A part can’t contain the whole, but is contained by it. We are in a intellectual abyss for we are trying to grasp an abyss beyond logic and duality (subjective), with an intellect that is logical and dual (objective) Man is lost in translation, the translation of realms and dimensions that he is betwixt. The realm of logic and love. Metaphysics is about that which is beyond physics, beyond the laws of the physical world, for we exist within the spiritual,within God, not without. Logic deduces the whole to its parts. In deduction exists reduction. The part tries to get to the whole that is larger than itself. The physical world follows logic, the other world is beyond logic. Logic is science, what is beyond logic is religious. Science is about the seen world, religion about the unseen. It is not that God is dead, but that we are dead to the world of God. People who sense something beyond the objective materialist world, are correct, but not in their interpretation and application of it to the world of physical laws. They try to impose the metaphysical which is illogical and infinite to the physical which is logical and finite. Both exist, but in their respective realms, within reality. Reality encompasses realms, a certain realm cant encompass and be imposed on reality. To fit the metaphysical onto the physical is the issue. We are not apart from the metaphysical, but in process with it, and yet we try to part ourself from it in order to grasp it with our intellect of which it can only grasp the part and not the whole. To tie this into politics, the far left lean into subjective reality denying the objective, the far right objective reality at the cost of the subjective. The spirit is bifurcated through biology but longs to transmute that to which it is born into, back to its source, unity. The trans movement,whether in biology or humanism appeals to the spirit of man but not in the expression it takes in society. It is a hijacking and misinterpretation of the spiritual instinct to transcend biology and be free from the flesh. Man wants to transcend the duality of his biology, not transmix biology. If we are subjects experiencing the objective world, then the question arises who is the subject, who am I? Beasts know not that they are, man knows that he is, but not who he is. An awakened one, a prophet knows who he is. Ordinary man is in limbo between these dimensions. The external world is dual, dialectic, syllogistic, logically a place of cause and effect, thesis and antithesis. The interior world is in its essence synthesised. Synthesis isn’t external but internal, of the spirit that is one. We try to synthesis that essence, externally. Mans trouble is his sense of being between the duality of realms, lacking the awareness and comprehension of his oneness amongst the duality. His struggle and angst is in comprehending, translating, and existing between these realms, to be in the world and not of it. To partake in life, without parting himself from it through the means of his intellect, which tries to fragment the tapestry of the life to its parts in an attempt to feel at ease with it. The finite can only hold the finite, the mind makes the infinite finite for its sake. To hold life's essence is to be-hold it. To behold, one must first be. The intellect, a lousy master but a good servant clouds this being. Empty the mind and be, to behold life and be held by the essence that is life, that is to be with the infinite, dis-embodied yet embodied. Logic asks why, love asks why not. Logic reduces life to its part, love raises life to its whole. Logic is the realm of the physical world of cause and effect, love the realm of the spiritual world of union. Logic is causal minded, love is union felt. Logic goes through the part, love through the whole. Logic is linear, life non-linear, circular. Alchemising itself. A straight line, taken to its end will circle the earth back to itself. A line is part of a circle, yet we focus only on the line. Behold, the circle of life.

Life is so vast, that intellect and logic are unable to contain it. Life contains logic and intellect that is part of man. Logic parts life in an attempt to grasp its immensity and in which man feels an existential angst. Science is to know the exterior objective physical world, religion is to know the interior subjective world of man. The subject of which is an abyss to the intellect, for the source of who we are, that is God, is vast. A part can’t contain the whole, but is contained by it. We are in a intellectual abyss for we are trying to grasp an abyss beyond logic and duality (subjective), with an intellect that is logical and dual (objective) Man is lost in translation, the translation of realms and dimensions that he is betwixt. The realm of logic and love. Metaphysics is about that which is beyond physics, beyond the laws of the physical world, for we exist within the spiritual,within God, not without. Logic deduces the whole to its parts. In deduction exists reduction. The part tries to get to the whole that is larger than itself. The physical world follows logic, the other world is beyond logic. Logic is science, what is beyond logic is religious. Science is about the seen world, religion about the unseen. It is not that God is dead, but that we are dead to the world of God. People who sense something beyond the objective materialist world, are correct, but not in their interpretation and application of it to the world of physical laws. They try to impose the metaphysical which is illogical and infinite to the physical which is logical and finite. Both exist, but in their respective realms, within reality. Reality encompasses realms, a certain realm cant encompass and be imposed on reality. To fit the metaphysical onto the physical is the issue, its not that we come from the metaphysical, but out of it. We are not apart from the metaphysical, but in process with it, and yet we try to part ourself from it in order to grasp it with our intellect of which it can only grasp the part and not the whole. To tie this into politics, the far left lean into subjective reality denying the objective, the far right objective reality at the cost of the subjective. The spirit is bifurcated through biology but longs to transmute that to which it is born into, back to its source, unity. The trans movement,whether in biology or humanism appeals to the spirit of man but not in the expression it takes in society. It is a hijacking and misinterpretation of the spiritual instinct to transcend. Man wants to transcend the duality of his biology, not transmix biology. If we are subjects experiencing the objective world, then the question arises who is the subject, who am I? Beasts know not that they are, man knows that he is, but not who he is. An awakened one, a prophet knows who he is. Ordinary man is in limbo between these dimensions. The external world is dual, dialectic, syllogistic, logically a place of cause and effect, thesis and antithesis. The interior world is in its essence synthesised. Synthesis isn’t external but internal, of the spirit that is one. We try to synthesis that essence,externally. Mans trouble is his sense of being between the duality of realms, his juvenile awareness of his oneness amongst the duality. His struggle and angst is in comprehending, translating, and existing between these realms, to be in the world and not of it. To partake in life, without parting himself from it through the means of his intellect, which tries to fragment the tapestry of the life to its parts in an attempt to feel at ease with it. The finite can only hold the finite, the mind makes the infinite finite for its sake. To hold life's essence is to be-hold it. To behold, one must first be. The intellect, a lousy master but a good servant clouds this being. Empty the mind and be to be hold life and be held by the essence that is life, that is to be with the infinite, dis-embodied yet embodied. Logic asks why, love asks why not. Logic reduces life to its part, love raises life to its whole. Logic is the realm of the physical world of cause and effect, love the realm of the spiritual world of union. Logic is causal minded, love is union felt. Logic goes through the part, love through the whole. Logic is linear, life non-linear, circular. Alchemising itself. A straight line, taken to its end will circle the earth back to itself. A line is part of a circle, yet we focus only on the line. Behold, the circle of life.

It seems to vary a lot and is highly personal. The transformational aspects that may come are your decisions to make. From the ego perspective, it doesn't make sense to want such radical transformations so it would seem "unproductive". But actually, this planet could use more selfless awakened healers/leaders, so if your self-identity becomes about the collective then it actually makes perfect sense once you yourself are healed and able to give more than you receive from the ego standpoint (eg, where you start to live in the reality that by giving to another that you're giving to yourself, but with self-respect also). Awakening does not guarantee this path it takes more decision-making to reach that, but it certainly can if used for this purpose on top of understanding. Understanding to me goes hand in hand with transformation so it just depends on what you are personally inspired to do. Deep awakenings can inspire you to be dedicated to being an artist, conscious leader, saint, empathic healer, spiritual teacher, etc on this planet, or just a really good/generous person. But to actualize those things you still have to actually decide for such. Or you can still live out the rest of this life through the ego perspective if that is what you feel inspired to do and there's nothing wrong with that either, or "away from society", it just highly depends on the individual and where they are at in their evolution. Most people's immediate concern is to heal their own traumas and internal conflicts, and that already can improve their lives drastically for themselves and the world, and I would say a requirement for the next steps. However it can also disorient you for some time and cause you to change your work and life drastically. It is helpful to have some support in your life during the awakening process if you have the luxury of such. Some people can awaken a lot and not really change that much or change very slowly, others it can cause a total shift that the person you once knew is no longer. The glory and love from God should inspire you but it's not a simple process, the permanent dissolution of the ego is an arduous process and there are many layers of it for most beings and takes some time if you are not born awakened at a young age. But sometimes you just know that that's what you're meant for in this incarnation, whereas others have to go through a few things and come back to it. During this time it's not uncommon to go through bouts of depression, suicidal thoughts, doubts, etc. So one might seem to the world that one is going insane and "lost it". But you will come out the other side and have grown from it.

I mediated for two weeks before awakening...perhaps less. Tips i do have..... I awakened while meditating to the very first few videos on enlightenment by Leo. He will go into inquiring into what you are, in I believe the second or third episode. That said - there is a problem. I am giving you the answers. God realization doesn't work like that because it's can't be ego driven. The ego has to stumble onto it. So keep this in mind: do you really want to know what you are metaphysically? If so really inquire into your true nature. Listen to the first few episodes but then there is a really good one called something like "self inquiry how to realize you are God". I'll find the title and send it to you. But bottom line is you have to really want to know what you are, even at the expense of your own life.

Schizophrenic races wiped away from existence by "Normy"Bussiness-minded Races. This is inspired by the last blog post from Leo about Schizofrenia. and about the dreamy people from the past being cast out from existence by the more bussiness-minded ones (materialistic). https://www.actualized.org/insights/what-its-like-to-have-schizophrenia The topic of Schizofrenia remind me about all the crazy mind blowing stuff I saw in visionary states of consciousness , all those faces,intertmingling in a vast field of imagery, nothing one could take hold on, dream stuff, infinite templates that, if one could organize it, in a coherent fashion it would not be so difficult to create a whole universe from it, wood patters,fur,glass,baby faces,woman,fire patterns,colouring pencils,gradients of shadow, smoke patterns, glossy structures...impossible to list all, I even saw splashes of blood running like rivers. So, in the last 6 years I saw a lot,on an on.. .material enough to create a virtual reality ( at least visualy speaking) . Many times for me it was like I was experiencing the mind of a Schizofrenic but instead of freaking out with it, being curious about it, contemplating it. nothing new for anyone who ready had visions on trips So back to Leo points Quote: " In other words, the reason humans are so materialistic, rational, and business-like by default is because all the humans with dreamy default states of consciousness were killed off by the business-minded ones. Consider the possibility that 2000 years ago all humans were much more dreamy by default than they are today. But war killed them off and selected for the most materialistic, rational, and business-minded ones. Which is to say, all the most spiritual humans were killed off long ago." -Leo Gura- Imagine what a war is for a normal person. Now imagine what war would be for a Schizofrenic. If you want to experience it, drink 2 glasses of ayahuasca and go to walk in a busy city. So,this post reminded me that I had this link below... comes from the book The Secret Doctrine by Madame Blavatsky http://www.freeinvestigators.com/wi/What-is-Root-Race.php Quote: "1st Root Race.The first root race did not have physical bodies, and their mind-principle was not functioning, hence were called AMšNASA, without mind. Manas, or mind, was only awakened in the third root race by the MšNASAPUTRAS" Question. The so called physical brain we have today is the same from million years ago? A change in the hardware dont affect a change in the software? If the structure evolves dont the function evolve as well? The truth is, I don't know, I just know that when I pump this thing here with enough enteogens the shit get very crazy, dream like crazy. We see in Egipt, Aztec and even Gaelic worldviews we see zoomorphic beings, all this ancestor describe their world like childen, and we are tempted to think they were doing that drawings just for allegoric reasons. What if schizofrenia was more acceptable those times? Well, I never saw it. I was not there, But I heard people in ceremomies saying that everyone in the room became animals. Some with Panther faces,Olws,Pigs...Go figure. To be honest I had never belived everything antropologists say. My question since young was: " Ok, these guys offer explanations of human evolution as far as the physical evidences allow them bones,tools,buildings..., but what about further away? When the traces of "physical " evidence disappear? When we research pre-historic populations we see that they were animistic. So, Just because is all a dream it dosent mean that dream cannot evolve. There was times I couldn't have to much control of my lucid dreaming, now I can navigate much better and be less afraid of it when it happens. And we dont need to go so far. Even last year hearing a old amazonian"pajé" ( Huni Kuin shaman) telling their cosmologic stories, I couldn't make sense of it. Was like he was talking dream language, no logic, no relation with anything you could call "scientific" the best one can make sense of their cosmovision is to categorize it as mytological or even science-fiction. This is of course just me open-minded speculating about it, so please dont come with questions of "proof" or "plausability" and so on. If Leo can become and Alien, what more can be possible? We just don't know. Or have someone here traveled to thousand years in history to see how humans were or how the gestalt of those were ? Anyway, for all of us there was time when as babies, we had no ideia we had a body or we were the owners of a body. When we study the evolution of man are we not actually studying the evolution of a dream?

Letting go of all those things, or not, the dream remains the same. The dream (reality) has to cease for one to be Awakened.

Agree with all the points except the last. I don't think we're ever meant to transcend but integrate spirituality into 'Self-Help' Personally don't believe meditating in the mountains is the height of existence (maybe for some personality types) Instead think the World needs more awakened / developed people in the thick of things & doing all of the bullets above I see that as the evolution of spirituality from being obscure to part of normal life (long way off)

@Breakingthewall ? This forum can get addictive. I awakened by never doing DMT or meditation. Maybe I m just born superior that is possible of course ???

It's not about what I think. I'm pretty ok with Leo's teaching style even though it took while for me to get onboard. When Leo says some of the shit he says, It puts people off the awakening path because they see a snarky bald dude saying he's god. It ruins the image of the nondual and spiritual community and psychedelics in general. This might be entertaining to you but when supposedly awakened people act like this, It may end up stunting the spiritual growth of humanity. Leo has a responsibility to set a good example for spirituality and consciousness work, otherwise this shit will always be seen as a cult and rejected by most. Also, I just realised you are probably either high or crazy so why did I waste my time replying xD.

OK. I appreciate Leo's poetic undertaking, although I still prefer the masterpieces of classical Advaita like Adavhuta Gita for example. Yet, to me it seems like it' s just mumbo-jumboing ourselves into the "oceanic state of oneness" with no clear explanations of why and how the Mind is dreaming what it is dreaming. Why is God is so smart to compute this dream with extremely mathematical precision down to the dreaming of the behavior of the subatomic particles, and yet it is so dumb to deceive itself to believe in the reality of the dream. Why is this so precisely mathematically designed dream is so full of stupidity, self-deception and suffering? "An illusion perfectly designed to allow you to forget for a second that you are God." - says the poem So why is God so stubbornly trying to fool itself into forgetting itself and identifying itself with figments of its own dream? And not just forget and wonder around in the dream, but suffer in that dream immensely and brutally without any way to stop the suffering? Why, after such realization of Oneness and Love, Leo is still suffering from digestive disorder and cannot stop it? Yeah, you can convince yourself to be masochistic and "love" pain and suffering without any ability to stop it. But would not it be easier to actually stop suffering, and even more, stop this entire insane self-deceptive cosmic dream, and just rest in formless state, or start dreaming something less nonsensical, less self-deceptive, bearing less suffering? God can perfectly know itself and still dream a world where it continues to know itself while playing with and enjoying infinite variety of forms with no suffering and self-deception whatsoever. But no, Infinite God cannot do it, it cannot control its own dream. Why? Leo perfectly answered this: "Somehow it all computes in the vastness of your mind." Exactly - "somehow". God has no clue how it computes its own dream and how to control it. God is indeed Absolute because it is Absolutely helpless and Absolutely clueless. Actually, there is a hypothesis to explain why: when God realized that he is completely alone for the whole eternity, there is nothing to do, nothing "outside" of him, nothing to reach to, noone to talk to, nothing to know, he experienced a psychotic breakdown and, to escape from the infinite and absolute terror of this loneliness and hopelessness, he went insane by starting a dream where he could forget the terror of that realization and by splitting into a vast number of personal perspectives (to escape from the experience of loneliness). He made this dream so that it would be very difficult to get back to that terrifying self-realization. He knew that this dream would entail a lot of suffering, but all that suffering would still be incomparably less that the infinite terror of that self-realization. Then he erased his memories and lost himself into a variety of personalities each believing in their own reality as a separate being. The God's plan for the dream was not to eventually restore the original Oneness, but to actually forever hide and self-deceive away from it. We were not supposed to get "awakened"!. Does it make any sense?

Rasa & Transmissions from actual awakened teachings + a sort of 1-1 therapy is imo by far the most effective 'method' You wouldn't start playing a sport and try to become a pro without the help of a coach & plenty of other people, yet majority of people do this with spirituality and then wonder why they get so stuck @Razard86 Are you happy? that's the true test of the absolute 'state' although states don't exist, the absolute is everything, its more whether one is aware, the Francis Lucille quote in my bio sums this up perfectly