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About the last two weeks Incredible things happened in the last two weeks, so I made a list.. The most incredible one was on this Friday: an ex colleague (and hopefully soon a friend of mine) called me to tell me about a formation exactly in what I want to practice when I’ll be doing integrative medicine and also to tell me about a job offer to do an internship in a medical office that has the same philosophy. As cherry on top of the cake the formator and mentor of the medical office knows me by a friend of mine who actually lives in Sardinia!! Universe always delivers big time!! I haven’t said yes to the offer yet as it is for May 2022 and it would mean resigning from the job I have now where I have a one year contract and I also risk to have to pay for the room that I am renting in the new canton but aside from that it’s an amazing opportunity!! During the last session with my therapist, she made a great point about my fear of displeasing other people, which is just the other side of the coin of people pleasing. I am awake enough to know now that people pleasing is manipulation, so I release it. Easier said than done but at least the step of awareness is done. Another thing she said was to learn to channel negative emotions. I do it more and more. The most helpful for me is the D-Love journal, a journal I started in March where I write to myself in an unconditionally loving way. Thank you Universe for giving me this idea!! On Wednesday this week I had a hotseat session with the mentor of the mindset training I’m in. I decided to talk about vulnerability as I noticed that I am still not able to be as authentic as I would like (#backtopeoplepleasing I guess). She said “It’s uncomfortable doing you when you’re not used to it. It’s a birth-giving process.” I just need to lean into the resistance and finding the courage to show myself as I am and speak my truth. There is a nuance though: it’s not about telling all of my thoughts and feelings to the whole world: I need to find what is ok for me to share and be aware of what is appropriate for the situation. She gave me the challenge of finding out how I can be more vulnerable at work. It will be by speaking up when I disagree with or just do not fully understand the why of what my supervisors propose for patient care. Last weekend I participated to an online workshop with the mindset training. It was very intense and focused on Self Love. The main lesson I got from it was the fact that anxiety comes from our mind trying to predict the future based on what happened in the past. Yet the future is made by what I decide to think, feel and do in the present moment. Also, personal growth, inner child and shadow work are all supposed to be life-long processes apparently. Does it mean that I’ll never get rid of anxiety? Idk.. Quoting my mentor, it just means that life will continue to throw challenges to me to foster my growth. So it’s totally possible that one day I’ll stop worrying about things that will probably never happen. Defined like this it’s so ridiculous!! :’) Thank you Universe for all this awareness!! Here are some gold nuggets I got from the workshop: The more you love yourself, the more other people can love you Dancing is the language of the soul My message to my inner child: You can tell things!! I am love, love is not something I give or receive: I can just operate as love. It’s all about balance: our best traits can become negative if pushed at the extreme. The negativity/positivity that we think creates in the world. Suffering comes from resisting reality so get busy only with what you can control: your thoughts, actions and feelings!! Dismantling th Ego is understanding how it defines the future based on the past. Acceptance is the fastest way to transformation. Acting on what you’re intuitively guided towards is challenging, that’s just the way it is. Return to love daily. Focus on what you want to become and what you want to attract. When you’re you all the time you’re less exhausted. Love rules and love heals. Your thoughts are not your thoughts, until you start creating intentionally (with affirmations, visualizations etc). Showing up is the most important thing for a relationship. Be authentic, 100%!! Be willing to be vulnerable, being vulnerable is the true act of courage. Don’t make it about achieving things, make it about being the best human being you can be. You’re always one decision away from becoming a different person. Share the growth, not the process! Keep leaning into the resistance: go where you’re uncomfortable every day! Keep letting go: if you’re meant to be together, you’ll find each other. Be clear and stay clear! New affirmations: To let go of what’s no longer in alignment with the life I want: “I deserve the very best that life has to offer. You are not the best so I release you”. It doesn’t matter what the mind is saying, I just practice. I am love and I only act from love. The next step now is doing more and being more intentional in what I do. I noticed I’m letting myself go in some subtle ways, like meditating in bed instead of seated; not really exercising and eating things I one ate just exceptionally more regularly. A nation is born stoic and dies epicurean (Will Durant). Fortunately I live in the same era as Ryan Holiday. I’ll subscribe again to the Daily Stoic!!

Friday 18/11/2021 22:10 If my anxiety fades a bit, what I'm left with is a bit of an indifference to life or death, I suppose. I'm not in a rush to kill myself, and neither do I desire to. They talk about there being intrinsic fear, which I seem to have internalised in habits, but the habits look unreal to me from this POV as a role which could be broken, I just lack motivation. Silence and book can be my companion, maybe walking tomorrow. I have no need for food today but I could very well eat I'm not sure about the extent of my "transformation". I get a gentle smile from life somehow. I've probably been living with eyes closed for a while, unwilling to leave my hole despite inner realisations A long way to go

Lol no sorry I don't get the three cups reference. I don't believe the thought is perception. I know the word simply refers to something that I perceive. I look around and I perceive what I CALL change. I perceive what I call old people and young people. The word refers to something real that I perceive though. And baby to old person is called change or transformation but certainly not No change.

In my own journey, I've found there is a direct relationship between how much I love myself and how needy I am for the love of others.... I don't think there's a silver bullet - it takes time and work and more time and more work, but real transformation is indeed possible... before I could really start to grow and change, I had to face up to and own the fact that, on a deep level, I hated myself... it sounds severe, I know, but I had to face the truth before I could move forward... I wish you (self) love and healing my friend...

Whenever you are facing adversity, whenever things seem to work against you, ask yourself: 'how is this perfect?' You don't have to pretend like you see it, nor do you have to seek for it. You just have to be truly curious. Really feel into that question. Keep asking, over and over again. You will not get an answer. But you might just become directly conscious of how perfect everything is. How literally everything is only assisting you in your highest evolution and greatest transformation. Not a single thing happens without it being meant to help you. Everything is happening for you to awaken to and out of it. To awaken as the highest you there is. To awaken as All. If it's happening, it's happening not only for a reason and with a specific purpose, but because it is absolutely necessary for it to be happening. It cannot help itself. It is happening because you are unconditionally loved and supported. No matter how dark and heavy it gets, everything is only pointing towards The Light, that you are now. Everything is always perfect. Always has been and always will be. Perfect balance. Reflection. Symmetry. Synchronicity. Alignment. Harmony. Resonance. You cannot help yourself but be utterly perfect. You are so perfect, perfection doesn't even make sense. All the mistakes you perceive, the errors, the unfortunes, the struggle... it's all a work of a mastermind. And it's beautiful. A true masterpiece. You are imagining contrast, so you'd become conscious that there is nothing but Light here. Nothing but perfection.

No shit. What I tried to say was that if he only got views I doubt the transformation would be this drastic. I love it..

It's not just about sex. Actually very little. It's more about the significant personal transformation that occurs when a man does a lot of serious cold approach and socialising. A part of that man dies and a newer, stronger more masculine individual is created. It's almost like a right of passage into manhood if taken seriously. The sex is a small by-product of the process. Most guys are just happy to get a bit of attention and validation from a female.

I can speak for myself that if you do an authentic high quality practice like isha yoga and not some youtube cowdung, all these things like depression, anxiety, insomnia will go away. I'm saying this, because I used to be depressed and suicidal 24/7 some years ago. And today I can't even remember when I had a bad day or a bad sleep. Life is easy, your problem is you're looking for solutions in the wrong place, you do some stupid nonsence and then expect results to come. No, unless you do the right things, rights thinga won't happen to you. I recommend people if they're serious about their own wellbeing to find a high quality tools for their transformation instead of listening to false teachers and teachings that are roaming the entire internet space today. Regards ❤?

Just read the following article on the subject of accessing an intelligence that's far deeper than that of the thinking mind and thought it was very good, so figured I'd share it here for other like-minded people (it's by a spiritual teacher called Amoda Maa Jeevan, who still appears to be relatively obscure, but I think her teachings on spiritual transformation are excellent): A Deeper Intelligence A list of all her articles can be found here (I thought this one on emptying your vessel was also very good).

That is a scary thing to realise. I realised it when my friends told me. I had started and quit 3 different university courses. I had lived in 17 different places. I started creating an app, then I lost faith in it and quit. Realising that this pattern leads nowhere is an important part of the transformation. I've been doing the same thing for over 2 years now, and I don't really think of quitting anymore. There's things to pursue that are so true to you, so authentic, that the thought of quitting won't occur. The rest is temporary exploration, fun, but although it's painful, you can let it go when it's ran its course, and be better off for it. The more open-minded your personality is, the more of these temporary explorations you will have. The higher your impulsivity is, the more you will commit to things you have to later uncommit to. The more you are in touch with what is truly worth striving for, to you, the less you will want to spend energy elsewhere.

"You can’t deny that at least some people who are on the path of drugs have big experiences, but you will see that they don’t grow, there is no transformation in the way they are. In fact, such a person never attains to Grace, he sort of retards. He never attains to any kind of fragrance. He just has big experiences to talk about, otherwise he slowly retards" ~Sadhguru That's exacly what I came to see in psychedelic users. It's really visible with a naked eye if you're open. But the thing is, psychedelic users will probably deny this untill the end of days, not wanting to see the truth of it. I know it's also very offensive and unpleasent thing to say espesially on a forum like this. My apologies. For what is worth, sadhguru mentioned that drugs are still a possibility in the end. So that should make a lot people happy here ?

@charlie cho Social anxiety makes me block my expression sometimes, and whilst I'm introverted, I'm sometimes extroverted but that gets blocked by anxiety or feeling low I occasionally vent to friends. The other day I was talking to a friend about something that bothered me, both of us to a degree, but I waiting out the impulse to bitch in particular manner which didn't feel nice. There's a way I used to vent to my sister with, but I have no tolerance, it's unpleasant -- You're an mbti nerd right? Alright so I was basically always an INTP, just a regular paki nerd. My psyche got so plunged into shadow, strong emotions, existential despair, that my personality changed. There are shadow stacks, my Fi in abrupt consciousness, the demon/transformation function

I decided to pickup again. As you can see in the journey, I was offline between begin-August to the middle of October. It will be low intensity pickup. I'm over hyperactivity. I have the skills to get phone numbers with minimal effort. My effort is really on my self, inner game (self-acceptance and self-transformation), and most importantly my work ethic and LP. My mindset is totally different than in the beginning of my journey. Girls really disappointed me and I'm learning a lot from them. And the more I learn about them, the more I learn about myself.

@Blackhawk Look, I've been in hell before. I know what it's like, it can be really hard to turn it around. During my twenties I was more often than not depressed, and on top I had pain that didn't go away for years. Today things are very different, I am fulfilled, and the way this transformation occurred was through a change in perspective. The first step was crucial: I learned to be grateful for what I have. Gratitude is where it all starts, and it doesn't come from the outside world, you can't expect things to turn around without taking the first step yourself. Be grateful. If you're physically healthy, you already have so much to be thankful for. Two weeks ago I had a kidney stone and it was the most excruciatingly painful experience I've ever had. I can't tell you how lucky you are just by being healthy. The world will not change things for you, change has to come from you. Start here, "I am young and healthy, and I am grateful for that". Start a gratitude journal, what else can you be grateful for? It's all up to you.

Not really a concrete answer. But it does take my to own presence which is significant. Here's the thing. I already know what it means to be healed and well from my psych trips. It's the same transformation process every time. I lay down, i become very sensitive to what I feel and the sensations of the body, and if i'm able to feel into my sensations and not get distracted I will have a breakthrough. The breakthrough completely changes my perceptual field, I lose virtually all suffering and discomfort, and I have this amazing clarity and equanimty. My goal is to live from this space. And the first step is getting in touch with my own presence. Yeah I definitely have issues with my diet, health, etc. But I don't know how to all of a sudden satisfy these basic needs. It takes tremendous discipline to eat healthy, work out hard etc. I try to work out or eat healthy, but I give in to my addictions very easily. I can see how I need to address my base as well, but Idk how to go about that in an effective way. All the advice just seems to be just do it. But when it's so much easier to get sucked back into addictions then it is to have iron will. I was thinking of doing some kind of medtation retreat or wellness retreat in the near future, I figure it could be like my rehab and give me a chance to start new habits with a clean slate. I may consider an ayahausca retreat too, but I dread having to drink the tea because I can't even look at psychs without gagging now, so I bet i'd just throw it up. I don't really have survival issues in the sense that I have money or safety needs. I'd say I have issues with discipline, relationships, and direction. But take relationships for example. How am I supposed to just go and get my needs for intimacy satisfied. I view woman as sex objects, and the kinds of woman who I would be into would not be into given my current situation and emotional constitution. I can see the wisdom in getting my foundation solid, like my diet, exercise etc. But I have no idea how to approach that successfully, and also I'm not so certain that solving those issues will get me what I want. I already know what works from deep meditation and psychidelics, I don't see the sense in turning away from that to solve basics without a clear undesrtanding of how basics will move me forward. One thing I tend to see on this forum from guys like Leo and even Nahm, is when they don't know how to answer a person's questions or give specific guidance they default to the amorphous just solve your basics. As if it's that simple to just develop strong habits, healthy relationships, end your addictions etc.

Obviously they are just tools for transformation and incredibly profound tools at that! And, obviously having an enlightening experience with a psychedelic is different than being enlightened. There is a lot of work to do to integrate the wisdom, learn how to master our minds, impulses, and habitual patterns... there are belief systems to conquer, wounds to heal, and a path to self love that requires true humility, courage, ego disillusion and integration, we need to hone our daily rituals and practices and master skills and ultimately birth the greatest expressions of ourselves in service to something greater than ourselves. Is a psychedelic going to do all this for you, not, but am I missing something, because I don't see that as the message here. I have never got the message that Leo believes that psychedelics are the end game, but more, one of the most profound tools to create breakthroughs and provide a direct experience of the Infinite/Reality/God/Mind. I see the lean in to psychedelics as a progression on the path of awakening and self actualizing, because after years of mediation, yoga, mystical experience, contemplation... psychedelics found me, and for me, they have offered me the most radical shift in understanding of who I am, and have shined a light on some of the work I needed to do to become more authentic and in alignment Truth. They are still showing me the next level - how to embody the philosophies and the Infinite Sacred Being that I am. My understanding (which seems to be mimicked by this website) is that contemplation, meditation, yoga, exercise, diet, continual learning, creative work, healthy relationships, discipline, selflessness, truth, learning how to create balance in mind, body, heart, soul, and relationships, work are all part of the lessons and tools being taught here. I see the open sharing of using psychedelics for authentic transformation and enlightenment helpful because normalizing these tool means more people will try them and hopefully experience Love and start awakening. The secret is out - the greatest scientists, gurus, artists, visionaries, philosophers, inventors, entrepreneurs, wisdom keepers, teachers... have used these plant allies and synthesized tools since the beginning of time...We are living in a time, in which perhaps, we will discover what happens when these forbidden and hidden tools become available to all of us as we explore Consciousness and to awaken. Perhaps, partnering with psychedelics we can awaken each other and create "the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible" I am witnessing the evangelic psychedelic tone of the website, and yet I am also witnessing content that is balanced with essential tools for true awakening... lessons on holism, spiral dynamics, sense making, meditation, first principle thinking, epistemology, Aztec non dualism, shadow work, ego development, Taoism... I am actually really really grateful for the 5 MEO MALT share (I had not heard of it)!!! I am grateful that these tools are being shared (all of them) I have tried 5 MEO DMT (Toad, which I love) and see that psychedelics and many tools are part of the process of true awakening.

Change vs. transformation is a topic worthy of consideration. As it sometimes happens with those who struggle with alcohol addiction. There can come a time when an inner seeing takes place and they may experience a moment of clarity. With that moment of clarity comes the willingness to endure the suffering that lay ahead of them in order to move past their accute addiction. The enduring of this friction within themselves is alchemical. It produces a transformation. Sometimes this inner struggle moves one as well from the realm of mind to the realm of Being. Below is a diagram produced by Dwight Ott, a former Teacher of mine of the Fourth Way and esoteric Christianity. Metanoia, a transliteration of the Greek μετάνοια, means after-thought or beyond-thought, with meta meaning "after" or "beyond" and nous meaning "mind". It is commonly understood as "a transformative change of heart; especially: a spiritual conversion." From Wikipedia

SDi Green Spirituality suffers from the problem of being too lovey dovey and emotional without including serious spiritual work, so all what's left is love dovey feel good vibes without any actual self transformation.

Lets say I go along with the scientific version that the universe is 13.77 billion years old - well in that game, the time started at the big bang and eventually there will be the effect of heat death where the heat in the universe is the same everywhere and hence no life - - so then all this stuff we are doing will just die out anyway. Lets say we go with the infinite version that there is no beginning or end and the universe has been around for infinity and will always be around for infinity. In that one, infinity is forever which is so long - whatever we have now will change over and over again an infinite amount of times and via that transformation, stuff is "lost" and "gained" - hence any ideas we have will be lost and forgotten, any projects we work on will be ruined - but also could keep on coming back in terms of infinity and stuff we have now can be the seed for growth of future stuff but yet again also get ruined but then built up, ruined, and built up. Lets say we go with the imagined version that I am imagining that I am the universe and I am imagining that there even is a universe and I am imagining the idea of infinity and forever. In that version, I am imagining that I am a person, imagining that there are problems, imagining that I am imagining that there are problems... I guess there's really nothing to do other that what we imagine so (as we will never have absolute affirmation on anything) - - so yes I would prefer to imagine myself saving the imagined dream characters instead of imagining myself hurting the imagined dream characters and imagining beauty/fun/curiosity - - and as my imagined self imagines more things about consciousness/awareness, I could integrate those on a more holistic imagined level...... Yeah being in bed or being in a cave could be imagined to be boring but also could be imagined to have lots of possibilities in the realm of finding things to explore - - or not.. hehe.

One of the best decisions of my life. Frankly every human should probably see a therapist at some point in their lives. It's a privilege and can massively help catalyze growth and transformation on every level and dimension. Of course, not all therapists are created equal, but usually finding someone via word of mouth recommendation is a good way to go.

I watched this new interview with Mike Tyson. He smokes 5meo dmt regularly. And he has realized a lot of stuff. After smoking 5meo he lost 100 pounds, he stopped using cocaine. Nowadays he doesn't even kill insects in his house. He has gone through a transformation. He is more wise and intelligent tha people give him credit for. He talks in this video how we are all more animals than humans. Basically many of us we don't do bad shit like raping that young lady walking by bc of social concerns. Because of punishment. He is definitely smarter and more intuitive than Joe Rogan. Mike Tyson recognizes that God exists. When they asked him ''what inspires you?'' He replied ''God''. He many not understand everything about God. But i believe he has made enormous progress compared to the Average Joe. Really impressive. The young dudes in the video don't have a clue what Mike is talking about. They laught at what Mike is telling them. But they don't know whats going on. Lol. Materialistic fools.

There is not much to be said these days, because there is a lot that is being done. I'm basically living out everything I've scripted. Incredible. Next week is going to be a huge breakthrough. God winked on me and pointed in a very specific direction earlier during meditation. Big transformation ahead. I am very inspired and motivated.

it's simple but it took me a long time, i done just about anything you can think of to 'heal myself' but in reality it's simple. psychedelics don't really change you, meditation won't change you, diet, supplements, people, whatever you can think of. great insight tools and coming to a healthy place of homeostatis but i'm talking about day to day emotional transformation, truly letting go and feeling alive without trying just like how you did as a child. it is my belief until you resolve your emotional issues that you cannot truly surrender to spirituality. suffering does not seek god, it just seeks relief. there is fear because there is an attachment to the hurt in your past that you took personally because of what you were identified as, if you keep going on and on identifying with (mainly your worldview that developed from early childhood) that fear will always return you to the prison of coping mechanisms it built and keep you drowning in shame and self-pity and the seeking or relief. the fear is change, ego does not want to change because ego feels like it is benefiting by protecting itself - it doesnt give a shit how you feel as the experiencer of it, it's literally just trying to survive. and so the resistance, another thing you need to really stop identifying with even though it can feel so painfully real you just have to keep this idea of taking action despite how you feel but you are experiencing a lot of suffering and getting caught up in the actions of relief rather than the transformation. once you realize you are not your fear and i mean you can only realize it when you do something while feeling terrified or nervous, anxious as fuck, you have an inner knowing what the right thing to do is. because you may eventually just surrender to the fact nothing works except doing what you are terrified of. the more and more you do that, it kind of creates a massive surge of motivation and without even trying pulls you towards more and more right action. this is the mostself-loving acts you can do imo. the ones that feel the worst. keeping the ball rolling is important! you can't just do something once bask in the pride and wait until you feel shit again, it's too slow man. this is right action, not just action. taking right action means despite the anxiety, fear, depression you do what needs to be done, the procrastination is just more fear. you probably know exactly what to do but you need kind of distill it into an action you can take in reality and not your head. visualize yourself actually doing it and then... actually doing it. there is absolutely no other to way dissolve all the shame, anxiety etc inside of you. if you aren't on this page yet, basically you have to show your body through action that it's time to change because the body is stuck in what happened in your past that it never truly moved on from, that's why you can't really enjoy or experience what's happening in the now. until you get it, you'll keep trying to secure your insecurities, you'll never really feel confident and you will keep seeking your approval and needs from others and aaaallll of the cancerous things that came from our conditioning. besides exposing it and feeling it and letting it go. nothing else will work, and until you do that shit it will just sit inside relentlessly making you suffer for absolutely 0 reason and there is nothing that is excluded here, no matter how complex your mental issue is it's just a matter of how developed your awareness is around what you are experiencing through your perception. just some thoughts about getting out of that stuckness, heaviness, feeling like nothing works, desperation etc

I don't normally feel a need to share, but I felt a deep calling to share this one with the community. I just released a video on my YouTube channel about my experiences meditating 2 hours per day for a year. If you're interested in hearing about what deep, consistent meditation practice looks like, check it out. If not, you still may find the below post useful. Below, I elaborate on some of recent feelings regarding the forum and this whole meditation vs. psychedelics debate, as well as share more in depth about my meditation journey. Lately, there seems to be a growing chasm in the Actualized.org community regarding psychedelics and then other spiritual practices such as meditation. In one camp, we have people raving about the power of psychedelics, how they provide higher levels of awakening, raise consciousness to higher degrees and how psychedelics more or less shit on other sober practices like meditation, being far superior for Spiritual Awakening or more recently "God Realization." In the other camp, you have people who are against this growing sentiment regarding psychedelics. I seem to have fallen into the latter camp. Initially, I was extremely pro-psychedelics, believing spiritual teachers who more or less dismissed them were full of shit. Let me be clear, I am still pro-psychedelics and still believe many spiritual teachers who dismiss them are full of shit. I have achieved enormous amounts of healing, enormous amounts of spiritual growth, have elevated my baseline levels of compassion and understanding using these tools to degrees that I cannot attribute to anything other than psychedelics. They've propelled my meditation practice into levels and depths that I do not see other meditators achieving, even serious practitioners with more experience. They've tested the limits of my sanity, broken my conceptual paradigms over and over, provided absurdly magical, mystical, and profound journeys into the fringes of consciousness… The journeying has been utterly beautiful and I still have every intention to continue their use for these purposes of exploration. At the very least, they're fun! And even after some heart wrenchingly dark trips, like borderline traumatizing trips that almost feel like they've left scars on the energy body/soul, all of my trips have been nectar for the True Self awakening to what it really is. However, after my first 9 day vipassana meditation retreat, there was a 180 degree paradigm shift. Originally, I was using meditation as a tool to propel my psychedelic journeying to deeper levels. I was successful; the harder I meditated, the deeper my trips became. Yet after that retreat, something very primordially deep shifted, almost like an internal earthquake, a transformation at the level of soul, at a level of self identity which transcends individual lifetimes and is instead the self activity driving reincarnation into subsequent and past lives (I don't know the validity of this necessarily, only that the experience points to something 'like' that). I spent 5 straight days in the most heightened states of consciousness I've ever experienced, essentially tripping balls while being completely sober. Every time I sat to formally practice, reality would just melt into and out of itself. My concentration had penetrated so deeply into the present moment, I was just watching infinite intelligence spontaneously emerge, moment by moment, while simultaneously being palpably conscious of the boundless, formless void of God as giving rise and fall to these microscopically transient fluctuations of formed experience. The space of consciousness would boundlessly expand into infinity as the formless jhanas, and contract into a singularity of non-existence… It is a challenge using words to describe just how profoundly powerful these meditative states really were. Since this retreat and after 2 other vipassana retreats within the span of the next 5 months, these types of mystical experiences have become regular. By the end of this first retreat, I realized psychedelics are tools for plunging more deeply into meditation first and foremost, not the other way around. While rigorous meditation will certainly facilitate deeper trips, meditation will also uproot the attachment to psychedelics as the means by which we awaken to God. Though I do respect the authority and individuality of everyone's path, from what I read on the forum, Leo and those who align with Leo's paradigm have vastly underestimated the potential for meditation and utterly misunderstood the true nature of God. It is very clear to me Leo understands the mechanics of God, his videos are evidence of this, but true understanding of God is the embodiment of God in all moments, not in the transient states of psychedelic trips nor the intellectual conceptualizations about reality after the fact. Furthermore, the paradigm that claims it understands God because of psychedelics and meditation is peanuts in comparison is a paradigm NOT based in direct experience. It is a paradigm based on reifications of self that happen when the ego structure reforms after a deep psychedelic trip. Without the appropriate attentional skills (mindfulness) sober meditation trains, this paradigm occurs at an unconscious level, at a belief level, at a level that is silently creating the context by which psychedelic experiences are conceptualized after the fact. Of course such an explicit criticism will most likely be met with opposition by the ego structure, an authority built behind "You don't know what you're talking about, I've achieved levels so far beyond all teachers, teaching or techniques. Your awakening is far less than mine! Etc. Etc." But please keep in mind, I have enormous experience with tripping. Not just tripping, tripping fucking balls. Please look at my past trip reports as evidence. This position I'm coming from is from the very principles Leo promotes - radical open-mindedness, experimentation, rigorous work ethic, balance, taking my own authority, existential curiosity for knowing what is really true. Now let's be clear - The True Nature of God God is none other than this moment, exactly as it is. This moment, exactly as it is appearing in all of its ignorance, entanglement, delusion, and suffering is an expression of divine perfection, as none other than the love of God. The capacity for God to awaken to itself is infinite. The context out of which experience expands out of, and contracts back into, moment by moment, is God. You as what you really are, is God. God is not an ego structure, but an ego structure is God. God is Mind. The human mind is not God, but arises out of God, as God. God is pure intelligence. God is pure imagination, manifest. God is pure formlessness, unmanifest. The True Nature of Love Love is that which holds space for all states of consciousness. When the mind stops pushing and pulling at experience through the contraction of craving and aversion, the surface level of the human mind slowly comes into union with God's Love. In Buddhism this is referred to as Equanimity. Equanimity is Love. As the activities of the human mind cultivate Equanimity, you are merging into the union with divine, Absolute Love. Notice, the Universe never fights with itself; the actuality of what is happening is the IS exactly as it is appearing as itself. As the Universe permits the actuality of what is, is radical permission of all form, as Love. A mind which radically permits all form, regardless of state, is a mind that embodies Absolute Love. This form of love is heart wrenching, heart cracking because it recognizes the necessity, role, and beauty of horror, delusion, suffering, atrocity. All states of consciousness are Loved, recognized in divine equilibrium. Absolute Love is not an emotion, perception, or transient form, but the context out of which all forms appear. The True Nature of Self You are the field from which all arises, passes, emerges, and vanishes. You are comprehensible through direct incomprehension. You are the expansion and contraction of all phenomena. You are the expansion and contraction as all phenomena. You are the context out of which all phenomena expand and contract. You are the witness that sees self activity act its drama. You are the witness, witnessing, and witnessed. You are the witness of the witness. You are the space from which time and space manifest themselves into and out of existence. You are the womb, the creator, the created, simultaneously. You are the grain of sand and the Sahara. You are the wave in the ocean and the ocean. You are paradox itself. You are the absolute unknown mystery, as well as the humility and arrogance that proports to understand. You are the nothing at all, the still point where all points of reality envelope, develop and exist as unmanifest potentiality. You are yourself, exactly where you are, as you are. You are always here; you are always now. You could never have been more or less you. If these types of insights and pointers are only deeply available through psychedelics, if you believe you cannot become palpably conscious of these insights and pointers through meditation, then your paradigm may very well be backwards. A psychedelic insight's true utility is to bring back the insight into lived, everyday, mundane experience. How can we effectively do that? Meditation. A LOT of meditation. There are two fundamental lessons we will learn from deep meditation practice. 1) Meditation can take us into states rivaling and surpassing the profundity of psychedelics, while doing so in a way which actually trains the mind to access these states without the need for psychedelics. 2) Right where we are, exactly as we are, is Absolute Truth. This is the beginning of the final awakening that 'what we are' truly seeks. The self activity keeps going, the dramas of life keep playing. The awakenings pull us ever deeply into the unimaginable depths of consciousness, yet on some level 'what we are' understands that what it is cannot exclude even the most unconscious of states. The appreciation I have for Actualized.org is ineffable. I found Leo at an inflection point in my life, a point where I was so lost. It was Leo's brash, borderline arrogant teaching style that cracked open my mind to start questioning itself. It was Leo's wit and philosophical intelligence that forced me to challenge my long held intellectual positions about the nature of self, mind, and consciousness. It was Leo's channel that invigorated my interest in psychedelics and facilitated a Hero's journey across the internal cosmos. It was Leo's channel that lead me to understand my own authority and limitation. It was Leo's channel that challenged me to become a true sage, mystic, and lover of Truth. It was Leo's channel that propelled me to take self-actualization and the cornerstone practice of meditation even more seriously. But it is precisely because of Leo that I write these words. It is precisely because I Leo that I so vehemently disagree with the direction this forum is heading. And in a sense, I'm writing into the collective here, urging, challenging and demanding that this community, an actual gem for humanity, not get pulled off track. And yet Actualized.org will do and become whatever it will. As a move and practice of detachment, and love, I won't be spending as nearly as much energy trying to pull back on the collective ego that is caught in the hamster wheel of samsara, constantly seeking the illusion of deeper, more grandiose awakenings. As long as you're meditating, you will awaken to infinite degrees of consciousness until you die; you don't need psychedelics to do it. And as you're awakening to the true nature of God, you will lose attachment to all of it. When you finally awaken, you will let yourself unfold in its own time, in its own sequence. When you finally awaken, you will recognizing the perfection of every step up the mountain, honoring the necessity of every grain of sand, blessing the flow of each drop in the ocean. Unity will emerge As infinity unfolds Life will be death And all states, surrendered All moments will be one A seeking which as was sought All delusions to be none Contractions of craving Finally, undone As children, we'll keep growing Expanding evermore But in the light of Truth, Does this moment truly soar In the Love of God Perfection's indiscriminate pour I am happy to answer any questions below. I wish all of you well on your path. Perhaps you may find value in my perspective, perhaps not. Thank you for your path, thank you for your dharma, in whatever form it takes on. With Love, You

Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel. Socrates According to Vedanta, there are only two symptoms of enlightenment, just two indications that a transformation is taking place within you toward a higher consciousness. The first symptom is that you stop worrying. Things don't bother you anymore. You become light-hearted and full of joy. The second symptom is that you encounter more and more meaningful coincidences in your life, more and more synchronicities. And this accelerates to the point where you actually experience the miraculous. (quoted by Carol Lynn Pearson in Consider the Butterfly) Deepak Chopra In his face there came to be a brooding peace that is seen most often in the faces of the very sorrowful or the very wise. But still he wandered through the streets of the town, always silent and alone. Carson McCullers