Search the Community

Whenever you are facing adversity, whenever things seem to work against you, ask yourself: 'how is this perfect?' You don't have to pretend like you see it, nor do you have to seek for it. You just have to be truly curious. Really feel into that question. Keep asking, over and over again. You will not get an answer. But you might just become directly conscious of how perfect everything is. How literally everything is only assisting you in your highest evolution and greatest transformation. Not a single thing happens without it being meant to help you. Everything is happening for you to awaken to and out of it. To awaken as the highest you there is. To awaken as All. If it's happening, it's happening not only for a reason and with a specific purpose, but because it is absolutely necessary for it to be happening. It cannot help itself. It is happening because you are unconditionally loved and supported. No matter how dark and heavy it gets, everything is only pointing towards The Light, that you are now. Everything is always perfect. Always has been and always will be. Perfect balance. Reflection. Symmetry. Synchronicity. Alignment. Harmony. Resonance. You cannot help yourself but be utterly perfect. You are so perfect, perfection doesn't even make sense. All the mistakes you perceive, the errors, the unfortunes, the struggle... it's all a work of a mastermind. And it's beautiful. A true masterpiece. You are imagining contrast, so you'd become conscious that there is nothing but Light here. Nothing but perfection.

No shit. What I tried to say was that if he only got views I doubt the transformation would be this drastic. I love it..

It's not just about sex. Actually very little. It's more about the significant personal transformation that occurs when a man does a lot of serious cold approach and socialising. A part of that man dies and a newer, stronger more masculine individual is created. It's almost like a right of passage into manhood if taken seriously. The sex is a small by-product of the process. Most guys are just happy to get a bit of attention and validation from a female.

I can speak for myself that if you do an authentic high quality practice like isha yoga and not some youtube cowdung, all these things like depression, anxiety, insomnia will go away. I'm saying this, because I used to be depressed and suicidal 24/7 some years ago. And today I can't even remember when I had a bad day or a bad sleep. Life is easy, your problem is you're looking for solutions in the wrong place, you do some stupid nonsence and then expect results to come. No, unless you do the right things, rights thinga won't happen to you. I recommend people if they're serious about their own wellbeing to find a high quality tools for their transformation instead of listening to false teachers and teachings that are roaming the entire internet space today. Regards ❤?

Insane visuals for half a tab. I've got that highly connected ADHD brain or something making me super sensitive to these substances. Note: When doing my research, this was by far one of the most helpful trip reports because this girl compared and contrasted her experience with psilocybin. The psychonaught wiki was also my main source for cataloging the long laundry list of visuals you can get on LSD. Super helpful to help prepare me for the trip. October 30th 2021 Dose: About 50mcg, half a tab. Route of Administration: Sublingually. Intentions: - What is Clarity? - Self inquiry. - Getting introduced to LSD. Taken sublingually at 9:00am First 20 minutes. Start dancing to boost my state. - Alejandro by Lady Gaga - Love You Like a Love Song by Selena Gomez LEOO you gotta add this song to your playlist: - Dancing on my own by Robyn Feeling excited. I feel like it's gonna hit me when I least expect it lol. 30-40 mins Been sitting for awhile, pretty bored. A bit of yawning? A bit of nausea? Maybe? 47 mins Anxiety in chest? Mom calls me, giggles. She's my trip sitter. Something is shifting. 50 minutes A bit of nausea in the stomach Loss of focus. 57 minutes Lying on the floor with my dog, waiting for something cool to happen. Kind of bored. 1h 5min Maybe a bit of pattern recognition. Feeling slow. Breathing couch Flattening visuals. The couch and pillows are one surface. Perspective distortions. Just feel funny. Been feeling very sluggish. Clarity is the ability to see through reality. >Probably the only thing I got from this intention lol, I've already contemplated what clarity was for several hour beforehand sober. 1h 18 min Tired af, yawning af Blurred vision. Seeing colours around my phone keyboard letters. Just noticed I'm being taken under now. 1h 30 min Visuals, patterns in the snow on the tarp EXACTLY like those tree Visuals. Feel like I'm in the middle of a sleep. Giggles. Good body high. 1h 30 Visuals. Vibration. Body is vibrating. Teeth chattering. Lots of giggles. I perceive the house differently. Each space is its own room. Each spot of the room becomes its own corner of reality. 1h 41min In a really good mood. Blurred movement. >> Tracers on everyone walking around me. Visual example. When I look at my mothers face I see tracers pulsating outwards from each wrinkle on her face. Pulsating tracers on pretty much everything. Salivation. 1h 50 min Super comfortable, yet asleep, yet awake. Half in Reality, half out. Half in my head, half in conventional physical reality. Increased vision for detail. Super easy to be distracted. Super free to easily contemplate. 2h Kicked in. >I look at my arm, and the hairs on my arm are dancing to the music. > I think at around here I went for a walk with my mom, walking my dogs, and we were looking at the gorgeous mountain views. Nice and sunny, nice nippy cold, blue skies, trees everywhere, late fall season, greens and oranges and blues and golden yellows. I got this wicked holistic insight. Where I saw reality as this context-less amalgamation of evolution, and how I was just a part of that. I imagined myself as an eyeball growing out of the ground like a plant to look at myself. I saw reality from a perspective free from the several stories we tell ourselves to ground our reality in, and reality felt like a funky dream that was like walking in the dream world from the video game Tak 2. It felt like Minecraft pre-classic. Minecraft version rd-132211. I was FILLED with wonder about how strange reality actually is. This was probably the BEST part of my trip. Looking out at the mountains, realizing how mysterious it was that all of this was there. It was all consciousness, it was all foreign, it was raw. Raw reality is the most beautiful. I got a tiny hint of what it would feel like to realize that I created that mountain. >Later I look at my face in the mirror When I get home, and I see patterning on my face, my face is melting, I see a man stretched out like a starfish on my nose like mermaid man's nose cover. I see objects stretching. >Just a funny thing to add in. At some point here I went to take a piss and I looked down, I saw the toilet slanted af, it was very difficult to trust that I'm aiming properly in the toiler because I was getting so much pulsing tracers moving the toilet and not letting see a solid bowl that doesn't move that I can aim into. I look at my belly and I feel like a small vulnerable creature, extremely small and vulnerable. I look at my penis and its really fuckin small. I'm just like "Damn really?". I was thinking about things with in regards to exploring my sexuality, making me feel vulnerable as fuck, and I was like, "I am not thinking about this right now." Later... 3h17min >Around here I end up throwing my entire trip. I fucked up by having someone message me over some stupid thing that I was selling and the dude wouldn't stop bothering me for it. But what ended up happening is that became my entire reality. I felt like my strings were being pulled like I was a marionette doll. Like my consciousness was being wrapped down in vines. It snowballed and became such a huge thing so fast. My body was tense and stressed. I was deep in the quicksand, deep in the mud, deep in the tar, 6 feet under. I was super frustrated that this threw me off so much. >So this was a great learning experience in learning how to control and manage a trip going sour. I changed my environment, I walked into different rooms, etc. I managed to deal with it while on acid, and resolved the issue by letting go of the buyer, transferring the 10 bucks back, blah blah blah. Haha not fucking worth the 10 bucks. Jesus Christ. >Reality was trying to give me a warning shot. To make sure that I have EVERYTHING under control for future trips I video call @Aaron p , and he's lobotomized on 300mcg of LSD. I end up laughing so much at his inability to formulate sentences that I literally fall out of my chair and start to roll on the floor laughing. Aaron is on YouTube watching Ali g skits. "Bro let's play rocket league." I laughed so much I managed to save myself from the trip. Completely shifted the mood. Thanks Aaron. The only thing that exists is what's in your direct Consciousness. Everything else is maps, of what you think exist. Second order reality, doesn't exist right now. >I need to understand what Leo means exactly when he says first order reality and second order reality. >My vision becomes blurry, especially my left eye, it's like my eyes stop working properly. I put on my prescription sunglasses to sharpen my vision. I stare at my hand, and I experience magnification on my hand, I see the cracks in my knuckles in my skin. I see every fine little detail, it becomes HD, then 4k, then 8k. Then I see another hand in the completely opposite direction overlaid on my own hand. I'm gonna have my glasses available to me going forward. 5h 12 min Having trouble to sit down and focus. So distracted the whole trip. >I look at my hand, and the birthmark on my finger sneaked around to the other side. >I look at my curtain with a pattern flower design on it and the patters start to break apart and move in all directions along the curtain. First order reality, second order reality The difference between them is a spectrum. > Your first order reality bubble renders in from your second order reality map (?) I still don't understand the difference between first order reality and second-order reality. If I learn a million things about God, I'll be able to find God himself. > Basically describing my insight on how doing all of this consciousness work eventually adds up to enlightenment. I understand that my reality is constructed by stories. 6h When I'm selfish I suffer. What you haven't let go will cause a bigger snowball down the road. If I let go of everything I will do nothing. ---------- Earplugs help a lot with Consciousness work. And they help a lot with an LSD trip. Transformation visuals. The ceiling fan was stretching, moving, shrinking. All of my attachments are distracting me from doing Consciousness work. Having nobody to rely on me is great. Because it can get ugly when people rely on me for things that are outside of my conscious control. >Thinking about the bigger lesson of what the fuck just happened with the situation that threw off my trip earlier. Even though I ended up distracting myself away from it, it ended up lingering for me for the rest of the trip. I was out of the tar pit but I still had the tar on me. LSD is more focussed than psilocybin BUT, you still have to focus. LSD is very distracting. >You're in the drivers street but you have to still drive a bus with only two wheels on it. I think I understand what vision logic is. Vision logic is my Consciousness's way of understanding reality beyond words, but through images. Life is the biggest drama movie. The happiest man is the one who can surf all the waves at once. Becoming more conscious, taking care of your survival, taking care of your desire for relationships, taking care of your desire for sex. >Surfing all of the waves, integrating it all. Becoming the centaur. For a self to have a purpose, that is a construct that is created out of the construct of the self. The self is a construct. A purpose is a construct. As long as you believe you exist you will believe that you have a purpose. Purpose hinges on the construct of the self. Your purpose hinges on the fact that you exist. And that "fact" itself IS a construct. Everything needs to be controlled to have a good LSD trip. You can't have anybody messaging you about anything. That WILL throw your entire trip off. Even if your phone is on do not disturb. If it enters your consciousness, it will infect it totally. In TOTAL. A TOTAL INFECTION into your consciousness. When there's nothing to do, you just sit and bask with yourself, forever. At some point, I was having a small intuition into how reality transforming a psychedelic trip can have. How it's more total than you think. Sharing experience is what motivates. Share my struggle to motivate other people. The Paradox of showing my struggle to motivate other people through their struggle. And me doing that is what gets me out of my struggle. (Being a self-improvement teacher. I need to be friends with people running their own business to understand what I need to do to get my business. >I need to just understand the exact monetization steps to set up a website and to setup a product you can check out, learn how to run a well-targeted ad. Learning that will take the barriers away from getting my business of the ground. An insight is the ability to articulate something out of the confusion. Something out of the confusion WHILE in the LSD trip. I saw how man evolves their language to understand what's going on. I must evolve my language to understand what's going on. I need to build an existential vocabulary. Look at Leo's episode for that. Understand all the words he lists and the combination of knowing them all will increase your consciousness. Could you hypnotize yourself into understanding God? Make steps such that everything that enters my consciousness is aiding towards increasing my consciousness. >Proper environment design. Only making the right choices to do the right things. Does the past exist? Like evolution to get us here? is that second order reality? I'm glad I did shrooms first. I get EVERY visual on LSD. So working myself up to a moderate dose of shrooms helped prepare me massively for this trip. Because as Leo says understanding that your God is merely just a process of opening the mind. I understand that now. - Listen to Leo's guided exercise to realizing you're God audio while on LSD. A high Consciousness person is able to understand all of the constructs operating in his mind. But he keeps them there to aid in his survival. A super conscious person dies, but the physical brain and body being rigid will keep your body alive. I'm becoming conscious of several reality constructs. I can see with more trips and on substances like 5meo, how all of these constructs will fall away. You need to find out what works for you when tripping. Psychedelics wipe your context. Your context is what you ground your reality in. Leo needs a video on context itself. Does he have one? Not the recontextualization episode. Talking about how your reality is grounded in context. Yawning is a sign of something shifting in your brain. Which is why you yawn when the psychedelic is activating. Business idea Family stories catalog where tv shows can pick from them and put them in their skits for their sitcoms and whatnot. Like a steam asset store for writing stories for your tv shows. Hide my phone while tripping. Or turn off all notifications that could possibly fuck with my trip, such that I can't even SEE the messages when I look at the top pulldown tab. Then turn it all back on after my trip ends the next day. so write down somewhere all the things I've blocked. Or just hide my phone and just use my laptop on the wifi. You need a few gurus 1. Conscious as fuck for increasing your consciousness, create a map of reality so you can navigate in it. 2. School of hard knocks so you can get to work taking care of your survival needs. 3. Therapist, love, makes you feel good For example 1. Leo 2. Gary Vee / Alex Becker 3. Ralph Smart / Wayne Dyer You need multiple different perspective sources for your learning and benifit. I experienced tons of stories and scenarios throughout the entire trip. Which is why earlier I said each space feels like its own room. I'm going to start thinking about how my present actions will snowball into the future. Even the small things. I learned just how much your mind creates scenarios. And how much it takes over your emotions and how it feels. That's what's swimming around in your subconscious all day. And that will bubble up to the surface and ruin your life. Trip Recap Best insights and experiences My experience of "Raw Reality" To do Build my existential Vocabulary, Use Leos video! Learn each technical step to monetize my products. To do next time when tripping Control my environment when it comes to what can come through on my phone. Have my glasses available. Do what works. Listen to Leos guided exercise on realizing you're God. Listen to Leos guided exercise on understanding infinity. Listen to Leo's episode on why brains don't exist. Try to play voice recordings of my intentions to myself, and listen to that, and see what results I get from that. Additional things I've learned I need to think about how all of my actions, especially the selfish ones. How they could snowball. I learned how your mind creates these stories and scenarios, and it's not even reality, it's all fiction and made up. You need to massively control your environment for an LSD trip. What I got was a warning shot, so for next time I don't make the same mistake. I learned just how sensitive and influenceable you are on psychedelics. How sensitive I am to psychedelics, with the amount of visuals I got on just half a tab. I learned how much LSD wipes your context that grounds you in reality. How your reality is just grounded in context. I learned that there is something very mysterious about reality lurking around the corner, and I can't wait to find it again! Questions I have What exactly is first order reality and second order reality? Where can I read more about this? Does Leo have a video on context? Other than recontextualization? When I talked about "Raw reality", What was that?

Just read the following article on the subject of accessing an intelligence that's far deeper than that of the thinking mind and thought it was very good, so figured I'd share it here for other like-minded people (it's by a spiritual teacher called Amoda Maa Jeevan, who still appears to be relatively obscure, but I think her teachings on spiritual transformation are excellent): A Deeper Intelligence A list of all her articles can be found here (I thought this one on emptying your vessel was also very good).

That is a scary thing to realise. I realised it when my friends told me. I had started and quit 3 different university courses. I had lived in 17 different places. I started creating an app, then I lost faith in it and quit. Realising that this pattern leads nowhere is an important part of the transformation. I've been doing the same thing for over 2 years now, and I don't really think of quitting anymore. There's things to pursue that are so true to you, so authentic, that the thought of quitting won't occur. The rest is temporary exploration, fun, but although it's painful, you can let it go when it's ran its course, and be better off for it. The more open-minded your personality is, the more of these temporary explorations you will have. The higher your impulsivity is, the more you will commit to things you have to later uncommit to. The more you are in touch with what is truly worth striving for, to you, the less you will want to spend energy elsewhere.

"You can’t deny that at least some people who are on the path of drugs have big experiences, but you will see that they don’t grow, there is no transformation in the way they are. In fact, such a person never attains to Grace, he sort of retards. He never attains to any kind of fragrance. He just has big experiences to talk about, otherwise he slowly retards" ~Sadhguru That's exacly what I came to see in psychedelic users. It's really visible with a naked eye if you're open. But the thing is, psychedelic users will probably deny this untill the end of days, not wanting to see the truth of it. I know it's also very offensive and unpleasent thing to say espesially on a forum like this. My apologies. For what is worth, sadhguru mentioned that drugs are still a possibility in the end. So that should make a lot people happy here ?

@charlie cho Social anxiety makes me block my expression sometimes, and whilst I'm introverted, I'm sometimes extroverted but that gets blocked by anxiety or feeling low I occasionally vent to friends. The other day I was talking to a friend about something that bothered me, both of us to a degree, but I waiting out the impulse to bitch in particular manner which didn't feel nice. There's a way I used to vent to my sister with, but I have no tolerance, it's unpleasant -- You're an mbti nerd right? Alright so I was basically always an INTP, just a regular paki nerd. My psyche got so plunged into shadow, strong emotions, existential despair, that my personality changed. There are shadow stacks, my Fi in abrupt consciousness, the demon/transformation function

I decided to pickup again. As you can see in the journey, I was offline between begin-August to the middle of October. It will be low intensity pickup. I'm over hyperactivity. I have the skills to get phone numbers with minimal effort. My effort is really on my self, inner game (self-acceptance and self-transformation), and most importantly my work ethic and LP. My mindset is totally different than in the beginning of my journey. Girls really disappointed me and I'm learning a lot from them. And the more I learn about them, the more I learn about myself.

@Blackhawk Look, I've been in hell before. I know what it's like, it can be really hard to turn it around. During my twenties I was more often than not depressed, and on top I had pain that didn't go away for years. Today things are very different, I am fulfilled, and the way this transformation occurred was through a change in perspective. The first step was crucial: I learned to be grateful for what I have. Gratitude is where it all starts, and it doesn't come from the outside world, you can't expect things to turn around without taking the first step yourself. Be grateful. If you're physically healthy, you already have so much to be thankful for. Two weeks ago I had a kidney stone and it was the most excruciatingly painful experience I've ever had. I can't tell you how lucky you are just by being healthy. The world will not change things for you, change has to come from you. Start here, "I am young and healthy, and I am grateful for that". Start a gratitude journal, what else can you be grateful for? It's all up to you.

Not really a concrete answer. But it does take my to own presence which is significant. Here's the thing. I already know what it means to be healed and well from my psych trips. It's the same transformation process every time. I lay down, i become very sensitive to what I feel and the sensations of the body, and if i'm able to feel into my sensations and not get distracted I will have a breakthrough. The breakthrough completely changes my perceptual field, I lose virtually all suffering and discomfort, and I have this amazing clarity and equanimty. My goal is to live from this space. And the first step is getting in touch with my own presence. Yeah I definitely have issues with my diet, health, etc. But I don't know how to all of a sudden satisfy these basic needs. It takes tremendous discipline to eat healthy, work out hard etc. I try to work out or eat healthy, but I give in to my addictions very easily. I can see how I need to address my base as well, but Idk how to go about that in an effective way. All the advice just seems to be just do it. But when it's so much easier to get sucked back into addictions then it is to have iron will. I was thinking of doing some kind of medtation retreat or wellness retreat in the near future, I figure it could be like my rehab and give me a chance to start new habits with a clean slate. I may consider an ayahausca retreat too, but I dread having to drink the tea because I can't even look at psychs without gagging now, so I bet i'd just throw it up. I don't really have survival issues in the sense that I have money or safety needs. I'd say I have issues with discipline, relationships, and direction. But take relationships for example. How am I supposed to just go and get my needs for intimacy satisfied. I view woman as sex objects, and the kinds of woman who I would be into would not be into given my current situation and emotional constitution. I can see the wisdom in getting my foundation solid, like my diet, exercise etc. But I have no idea how to approach that successfully, and also I'm not so certain that solving those issues will get me what I want. I already know what works from deep meditation and psychidelics, I don't see the sense in turning away from that to solve basics without a clear undesrtanding of how basics will move me forward. One thing I tend to see on this forum from guys like Leo and even Nahm, is when they don't know how to answer a person's questions or give specific guidance they default to the amorphous just solve your basics. As if it's that simple to just develop strong habits, healthy relationships, end your addictions etc.

Obviously they are just tools for transformation and incredibly profound tools at that! And, obviously having an enlightening experience with a psychedelic is different than being enlightened. There is a lot of work to do to integrate the wisdom, learn how to master our minds, impulses, and habitual patterns... there are belief systems to conquer, wounds to heal, and a path to self love that requires true humility, courage, ego disillusion and integration, we need to hone our daily rituals and practices and master skills and ultimately birth the greatest expressions of ourselves in service to something greater than ourselves. Is a psychedelic going to do all this for you, not, but am I missing something, because I don't see that as the message here. I have never got the message that Leo believes that psychedelics are the end game, but more, one of the most profound tools to create breakthroughs and provide a direct experience of the Infinite/Reality/God/Mind. I see the lean in to psychedelics as a progression on the path of awakening and self actualizing, because after years of mediation, yoga, mystical experience, contemplation... psychedelics found me, and for me, they have offered me the most radical shift in understanding of who I am, and have shined a light on some of the work I needed to do to become more authentic and in alignment Truth. They are still showing me the next level - how to embody the philosophies and the Infinite Sacred Being that I am. My understanding (which seems to be mimicked by this website) is that contemplation, meditation, yoga, exercise, diet, continual learning, creative work, healthy relationships, discipline, selflessness, truth, learning how to create balance in mind, body, heart, soul, and relationships, work are all part of the lessons and tools being taught here. I see the open sharing of using psychedelics for authentic transformation and enlightenment helpful because normalizing these tool means more people will try them and hopefully experience Love and start awakening. The secret is out - the greatest scientists, gurus, artists, visionaries, philosophers, inventors, entrepreneurs, wisdom keepers, teachers... have used these plant allies and synthesized tools since the beginning of time...We are living in a time, in which perhaps, we will discover what happens when these forbidden and hidden tools become available to all of us as we explore Consciousness and to awaken. Perhaps, partnering with psychedelics we can awaken each other and create "the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible" I am witnessing the evangelic psychedelic tone of the website, and yet I am also witnessing content that is balanced with essential tools for true awakening... lessons on holism, spiral dynamics, sense making, meditation, first principle thinking, epistemology, Aztec non dualism, shadow work, ego development, Taoism... I am actually really really grateful for the 5 MEO MALT share (I had not heard of it)!!! I am grateful that these tools are being shared (all of them) I have tried 5 MEO DMT (Toad, which I love) and see that psychedelics and many tools are part of the process of true awakening.

Change vs. transformation is a topic worthy of consideration. As it sometimes happens with those who struggle with alcohol addiction. There can come a time when an inner seeing takes place and they may experience a moment of clarity. With that moment of clarity comes the willingness to endure the suffering that lay ahead of them in order to move past their accute addiction. The enduring of this friction within themselves is alchemical. It produces a transformation. Sometimes this inner struggle moves one as well from the realm of mind to the realm of Being. Below is a diagram produced by Dwight Ott, a former Teacher of mine of the Fourth Way and esoteric Christianity. Metanoia, a transliteration of the Greek μετάνοια, means after-thought or beyond-thought, with meta meaning "after" or "beyond" and nous meaning "mind". It is commonly understood as "a transformative change of heart; especially: a spiritual conversion." From Wikipedia

SDi Green Spirituality suffers from the problem of being too lovey dovey and emotional without including serious spiritual work, so all what's left is love dovey feel good vibes without any actual self transformation.

Lets say I go along with the scientific version that the universe is 13.77 billion years old - well in that game, the time started at the big bang and eventually there will be the effect of heat death where the heat in the universe is the same everywhere and hence no life - - so then all this stuff we are doing will just die out anyway. Lets say we go with the infinite version that there is no beginning or end and the universe has been around for infinity and will always be around for infinity. In that one, infinity is forever which is so long - whatever we have now will change over and over again an infinite amount of times and via that transformation, stuff is "lost" and "gained" - hence any ideas we have will be lost and forgotten, any projects we work on will be ruined - but also could keep on coming back in terms of infinity and stuff we have now can be the seed for growth of future stuff but yet again also get ruined but then built up, ruined, and built up. Lets say we go with the imagined version that I am imagining that I am the universe and I am imagining that there even is a universe and I am imagining the idea of infinity and forever. In that version, I am imagining that I am a person, imagining that there are problems, imagining that I am imagining that there are problems... I guess there's really nothing to do other that what we imagine so (as we will never have absolute affirmation on anything) - - so yes I would prefer to imagine myself saving the imagined dream characters instead of imagining myself hurting the imagined dream characters and imagining beauty/fun/curiosity - - and as my imagined self imagines more things about consciousness/awareness, I could integrate those on a more holistic imagined level...... Yeah being in bed or being in a cave could be imagined to be boring but also could be imagined to have lots of possibilities in the realm of finding things to explore - - or not.. hehe.

One of the best decisions of my life. Frankly every human should probably see a therapist at some point in their lives. It's a privilege and can massively help catalyze growth and transformation on every level and dimension. Of course, not all therapists are created equal, but usually finding someone via word of mouth recommendation is a good way to go.

I watched this new interview with Mike Tyson. He smokes 5meo dmt regularly. And he has realized a lot of stuff. After smoking 5meo he lost 100 pounds, he stopped using cocaine. Nowadays he doesn't even kill insects in his house. He has gone through a transformation. He is more wise and intelligent tha people give him credit for. He talks in this video how we are all more animals than humans. Basically many of us we don't do bad shit like raping that young lady walking by bc of social concerns. Because of punishment. He is definitely smarter and more intuitive than Joe Rogan. Mike Tyson recognizes that God exists. When they asked him ''what inspires you?'' He replied ''God''. He many not understand everything about God. But i believe he has made enormous progress compared to the Average Joe. Really impressive. The young dudes in the video don't have a clue what Mike is talking about. They laught at what Mike is telling them. But they don't know whats going on. Lol. Materialistic fools.

There is not much to be said these days, because there is a lot that is being done. I'm basically living out everything I've scripted. Incredible. Next week is going to be a huge breakthrough. God winked on me and pointed in a very specific direction earlier during meditation. Big transformation ahead. I am very inspired and motivated.

it's simple but it took me a long time, i done just about anything you can think of to 'heal myself' but in reality it's simple. psychedelics don't really change you, meditation won't change you, diet, supplements, people, whatever you can think of. great insight tools and coming to a healthy place of homeostatis but i'm talking about day to day emotional transformation, truly letting go and feeling alive without trying just like how you did as a child. it is my belief until you resolve your emotional issues that you cannot truly surrender to spirituality. suffering does not seek god, it just seeks relief. there is fear because there is an attachment to the hurt in your past that you took personally because of what you were identified as, if you keep going on and on identifying with (mainly your worldview that developed from early childhood) that fear will always return you to the prison of coping mechanisms it built and keep you drowning in shame and self-pity and the seeking or relief. the fear is change, ego does not want to change because ego feels like it is benefiting by protecting itself - it doesnt give a shit how you feel as the experiencer of it, it's literally just trying to survive. and so the resistance, another thing you need to really stop identifying with even though it can feel so painfully real you just have to keep this idea of taking action despite how you feel but you are experiencing a lot of suffering and getting caught up in the actions of relief rather than the transformation. once you realize you are not your fear and i mean you can only realize it when you do something while feeling terrified or nervous, anxious as fuck, you have an inner knowing what the right thing to do is. because you may eventually just surrender to the fact nothing works except doing what you are terrified of. the more and more you do that, it kind of creates a massive surge of motivation and without even trying pulls you towards more and more right action. this is the mostself-loving acts you can do imo. the ones that feel the worst. keeping the ball rolling is important! you can't just do something once bask in the pride and wait until you feel shit again, it's too slow man. this is right action, not just action. taking right action means despite the anxiety, fear, depression you do what needs to be done, the procrastination is just more fear. you probably know exactly what to do but you need kind of distill it into an action you can take in reality and not your head. visualize yourself actually doing it and then... actually doing it. there is absolutely no other to way dissolve all the shame, anxiety etc inside of you. if you aren't on this page yet, basically you have to show your body through action that it's time to change because the body is stuck in what happened in your past that it never truly moved on from, that's why you can't really enjoy or experience what's happening in the now. until you get it, you'll keep trying to secure your insecurities, you'll never really feel confident and you will keep seeking your approval and needs from others and aaaallll of the cancerous things that came from our conditioning. besides exposing it and feeling it and letting it go. nothing else will work, and until you do that shit it will just sit inside relentlessly making you suffer for absolutely 0 reason and there is nothing that is excluded here, no matter how complex your mental issue is it's just a matter of how developed your awareness is around what you are experiencing through your perception. just some thoughts about getting out of that stuckness, heaviness, feeling like nothing works, desperation etc

Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel. Socrates According to Vedanta, there are only two symptoms of enlightenment, just two indications that a transformation is taking place within you toward a higher consciousness. The first symptom is that you stop worrying. Things don't bother you anymore. You become light-hearted and full of joy. The second symptom is that you encounter more and more meaningful coincidences in your life, more and more synchronicities. And this accelerates to the point where you actually experience the miraculous. (quoted by Carol Lynn Pearson in Consider the Butterfly) Deepak Chopra In his face there came to be a brooding peace that is seen most often in the faces of the very sorrowful or the very wise. But still he wandered through the streets of the town, always silent and alone. Carson McCullers

The Distance Healing Crystal Stone Grid This grid is intended to assist those who are keeping a Loved One in their prayers for healing or spiritual assistance. Some may be doing this kind of work in the context of sending Reiki, or a similar Divine Energy system, to assist in the healing and well-being of someone who does not live close enough to initiate a hands-on session. The stones were selected by either their ability to connect people energetically together, excellent general healing qualities, connection to spiritual helpers, transformation, tranquility, and love. The grid stones can be attuned to Reiki by a Reiki Master to continually run Reiki energy. It’s a handy addition. It’s polite to meditate with your stones first to see if they are ok with being energetically altered. The Stones Included: Center Circle: 1 Shungite Shungite is a metallic silver to black mineraloid, a mineral that lacks a crystal structure. It consists mostly of carbon, enclosing tiny grains of silicate minerals evenly suspended in it, and trace amounts of hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, sulfur, and other elements. The name comes from the late 19th century and is derived from Shunga, Russia, the location where it was first discovered. Russia remains the primary source for it but the deposits there are vast. The algae colonies that produced the carbon for shungite are some of the earliest forms of life on earth. This makes it a good support for memory, past life work, and connecting to ancestors, spirit guides, and ancient civilizations. Shungite is also used for accessing pure, primal patterns, which would lend it well to any corrective, healing, or deeply transformational activity of any kind. Inner Lotus: 6 Quartz Points Quartz amplifies energies, thoughts, and intentions. It strengthens and clarifies the auric field and can be used to direct energy like a laser beam, if used with intention. When used in crystalline grids, a set of points expands the energy field of a grid, or serves as a medium through which healing energy is directed to distant subjects. Star: 6 Quantum Quattro Silica (Chrysocolla in matrix from Namibia) This stone is a combination of smoky quartz and copper based minerals, such as chrysocolla, shattuckite, malachite, ajoite, azurite, and dioptase. Traditionally, all blue and green stones were sacred to love goddesses because the colors represent the fertility of the earth. It also would indicate an integration between thoughts and feelings, or psychic impressions or spiritual energies integrated and manifested into the real world. Triangle: 6 Golden Quartz Golden quartz is a relatively new stone find out of India. It is a variety of quartz colored golden by iron oxide inclusions. Quartz tends to amplify the minerals that are included within it. The golden quality would be associated with solar energies, which imbue the stone with vitality, abundance, warmth, happiness, and well-being. Yellow iron inclusions harness the grounding quality of iron for manifestation and bringing things to fruition. It also is useful in anchoring Divine Golden, spiritual, or healing energy into the physical level. Open Circle: 6 Smoky Amethyst ElestialScepters These are special quartz points found in Madagascar. In certain conditions quartz grows faster along its edges rather than its faces, so it can grow larger than the rest of the crystal, producing a scepter like shape. Its qualities include personal empowerment, connecting to the spiritual level, anchoring higher energies to the physical level, directing energy, and protection. Sometimes these types of crystals have double or multiple terminations. In that instance, they can be used to energetically connect people, such as with distance healing work, to align the energies of the person sending healing to the person receiving so that they are in greater synergy and the energy can flow freely from one to the other. Square: 6 Rose Quartz Rose quartz is the very essence of love energy in all of its many expressions. It connected directly with the heart and emotional body and assists in gentle shifts toward loving states, forgiveness, nurturing, comfort, and bonding. It is often associated with nurturing and compassionate aspects of the Divine Feminine, and specifically with Mother Mary. Solid Circle: 6 Rutilated Quartz Rutilated Quartz has golden to reddish threads of Rutile imbedded within it. It is a special quartz energy as the Rutile increases the potency of energy moving through the quartz. It is stimulating to the Belly and Solar Plexus and can be used to amp up energy in the whole system by placing it right over the belly button. Traditionally, it was sacred to Venus, which means that it enhances all one-on-one relationships, such as connecting and harmonizing the energy between two people, not just lovers. Recommended Grid Use and Placement Continually Running Grid: The Distance Healing Crystal Grid is really a practitioner’s grid, so it should be placed wherever you do your sacred energy work. I recommend that you set it up somewhere it will not be disturbed. Active Work Grid: You can put the photo of the person for whom you are sending healing underneath the Distance Healing Crystal Grid, or their names. You can use this grid for more than one person as well, but I recommend that you engage the work in an interactive way. You could re-activate the grid as part of a strategy to send active healing and love to the distant subjects. Sit and Spin Grid: You could activate the Distance Healing Crystal Gris under a chair while you are engaging in Reiki or energy work on behalf of distant subjects, such as using a doll proxy to do a treatment, which may be on your lap. Doing this would put the vortex of the grid in alignment with your core pillar of light, effectively plugging your energy field into the alignment and connection processes. Sit and Spin with a Volunteer Proxy: You could put the Distance Healing Crystal Grid under a massage table as you are giving an in-person treatment and request for that session to serve as a proxy session for distant subject(s). If you do this, I recommend that you get permission from your in-person client first, or get a volunteer to stand in as a local proxy for someone specific who can temporarily Hold Space for the distant subject. If you do this right, you can intend to scan and work on a local proxy and receive useful energetic information from the distant subject. Be specific about wanting to treat the distant subject through the proxy to be Blessed and then cleared of connection and energies afterward. Sit and Spin with You as Proxy: You could set the Distance Healing Crystal Grid up under a chair, table, or bed, while you intend to do a self-treatment as a proxy for a distant subject. I recommend setting up sacred space, intend to connect to the distant subject, and state clear intentions to send them healing energy as part as your self-treatment. Meaning, that as you treat yourself, you are also sending the energy to the distant subject.

Thank you so much for sharing this ??? It’s very interesting to read your journey. And I wish you a great journey from here ? Admire you for not denying the process, and diving deep and riding yourself of past impurities that was kept since early childhood. ? LSD is very profound in its way to show Truth. In my experience with the substance. Its the mind and remembrance of The Universe. And of course the Above and Beyonds as well as the power for Transformation. But like you said, there is a trade off. And since it reveals what is True/Truth, its must filter out All The Untruths we have dealt with, lived with, thought ourselves to be, projected on to others, suffered at the hands of and so on… What remains is Truth. But in this work, we must be willing to let go of our tools, beliefs and past identities that simply wont align with The Inherent Truth. Truth is inherent and the background to Everything. From my experience. Its important to balance Consciousness with Love, because they are the same thing, two sides of the same coin. I would advise to explore your self-love more and complement this journey with. Its true that Truth can be harsh and cruel, but at the same time it can be very liberating. Try some mescaline (San Pedro) if you haven't, or some MDMA and love yourself deeply. So you can encourage yourself to keep going towards Truth ✨

@Leo Gura Also This NDE!!!!!!! I am telling you Leo These people who have had NDES really know what you are talking about. I came in this world very sensitive and aware and went through tons of suffering so I would try and question and reach for this love that I felt. This love that I had despite so much abuse. Ndes seemed to be my safe haven. Just before death, July 30, 1994: That morning I had driven about 400 miles with my secretary from San Francisco for a couple of meetings with some clients. For some reason, throughout that day I had been feeling somewhat uneasy, like this was a premonition of sorts. So, I had been in a quiet prayer mode the whole day. I had been invited by one of my clients, in the city of Glendora, for their 80-year-old mother’s birthday celebration. Afterwards, it was almost 11:30 p.m. by the time I was able to call it a day and leave for the hotel. I had thought that I would tell my secretary I was extremely tired and it would be better if she was the one to drive back to San Francisco after the birthday part. As destiny would have it, I was so tired I forgot to tell her while very mechanically getting into the driver's seat. Seatbelts were not mandatory in 1994. Without bothering to put on my seat belt, I started the car and began driving. After about 10 minutes on the road, car with two young boys was driving in the left lane. Suddenly, it swerved to the right, coming into my lane right in front of me, then stopping abruptly at the Stop sign that was just ahead. I had nowhere to go, so I slammed on the brakes; or so I thought! In my immediate shock and sleepy exhaustion, I had pressed down on the accelerator instead! The 560 SL is designed to go from 0 mph to 60 mph within seconds and that’s just what it did. I shot forward at full speed! CRAAAASH! In that moment of impact, I felt my whole body lift up, fly forward with great force, and hitting something. Next thing I knew, I was seeing this white stream of Light, travelling inside my body, which was also filled with a brilliant electric white Light! It looked like light travelling in light. As I looked at this moving light energy, I realized I was also experiencing it. This powerful, white energy which was moving from my solar plexus towards the top of my head. I was moving very fast. Yet, simultaneously, I appeared to be moving very slowly. Somehow, it seemed very natural for my movement to be slow and fast at the same time. Was I in perfect balance? There was no sense of duality. I knew that this light energy was my Prana, otherwise called life force. The Prana was moving upwards through my body, almost as if being pulled by some sort of magnetic power above my head. Just then, I experienced a sinking feeling, very much like one feels when beginning the plunge down a roller coaster. I felt myself go into a gentle convulsion with an upward movement. The next moment it was all gone. There was no light, no body, or anything. It was the strangest feeling, and yet so familiar. It was as though I had before experienced it many times. Without the body, I found myself floating alone in a dark void. I was totally confused as to where I was and what was really happening. All I could see was total darkness everywhere, but I wasn't afraid. At a distance, I saw a pale golden vehicle-like thing in the shape of a small boat. The boat was brilliant in its golden hue and it was coming towards me. The center hollow portion of this golden boat seemed to be filled with that same shimmering, brilliant white light I had seen inside my body. As it moved closer, I could see in the center on its ‘bed’ of white Light there was a very ethereal human body. The body was lying very still on its back, draped in a pale golden gown and glowing gloriously in the dark night. It was a magnificent sight to behold! As it came closer, my entire being went into shock when I saw the face of this body. It was me. 'Oh my God', I realized, 'I am dead.' I was completely jolted by this truth. I looked at myself for the first time and saw I had no body. I was just a spark of Light and was now linked to this sparkling boat. Almost immediately, the golden boat tilted upwards with the feet of the motionless body pointing upwards and head below it. The boat transported me faster than the speed of light, almost like a thunderbolt slicing through the dark night and disappearing into that void. Almost as if I had fully woken up after a long sleep, I found myself surrounded by an All-Pervasive Brilliance. There was no boat, no body structure, no dark void, nothing. There was only this dazzling, electrifying, brilliant white Light all around. The light was everywhere. There was nothing except this brilliant Consciousness! It seemed to have a consistency of the ever-finest, minutest electric-like sparkles and was energetically similar to the ‘bed of Light’ I had come on, except that this light was all-pervasive, limitless. It could perhaps be compared to the light of thousands of brilliant stars reflected in millions of sparkling diamonds, all-encompassing, self-luminous, and pulsating with electric energy: very delicate and smooth. I seemed to know that the light was the Supreme Infinite Light that is God, the Cosmic Consciousness. It is truly impossible to describe in mere mortal words, this Pure Love, this vital energy, this infinite Light, this Supreme Absolute Consciousness, This Presence, which is commonly referred to by most of humanity as God or the Creator: it can only be experienced! So please forgive my humble effort with limited vocabulary to try and share what I experienced. At this moment, I was literally standing on air and was an electric body of Light. I was in this dazzling white void, this Brilliant Nothingness, filled with comfort, delight, and a deep knowing that I had reached my destination. I seemed to know that this was the Ultimate White Effulgent Light. Experiencing myself as a shimmering sparkling white-light energy, pulsating with some kind of ethereal (ether-real!) electric life force, my Being was flooded with a gentle, very expansive Love energy. The energy was like a soft embrace from that all-encompassing Light Presence! This Light Presence of pure, unconditional Love seemed to be in me and around me. It was all-pervasive and extended into infinity. Strangely, there seemed to be no difference between this light and my Light-being. Even more bewildering, was that this Conscious Loving Presence, seemed to be the nature and substance of all of existence. In sheer delight, my Light-self was almost skipping in the air as a further wave of knowing passed through me. I whispered to myself, ‘This is the real me!’ In complete wonderment, with a sense of déjà vu and awe, I heard myself say, ‘I know this place, I know this place. I've been here before. I made it. I finally made it back!’ Drinking in the nectar of the Loving Presence which enfolded me, I saw with complete amazement a very interesting transference starting to happen. There was a string of atoms starting to flow out from within the left side of my electric body and they disappeared upwards into nowhere. Almost as if from thin air, a much finer frequency of atoms seemed to be appear and were entering through my right side into this same electric light body. I was watching and experiencing at the same time, again with no sense of duality. My entire Being was being totally emptied, refueled, and re-programmed with this ethereal, orderly, interchange of atoms. I saw that the new entry was made of a vastly different energy and seemed to have a much more expansive and delicate DNA energy. It had a new wave of very lightweight, subtle cellular frequencies, as they spiraled in, expanding and changing the previous electric body formation. All of the above was happening very fast and yet it seemed to take an eternity. Enfolded in the comforting wrap of Pure Divine Love during this cellular exchange, it seemed as though I was gradually disappearing with the atoms leaving this electric Light body. Almost as if, another ‘me’ was birthing through the newer, finer atoms entering into this Light form. My whole being was cleansed and purified, making it ready for its next role in God’s divine drama. I wished to take a final look and say goodbye to the world I had just left behind. I looked over behind my non-existent shoulder, somehow expecting to see my world; but, to my complete shock, I saw that there was nothing there. My earthly world didn't seem to exist! There was no world, no universe, no galaxy, no earth, nothing! Nothing existed, except this soft Conscious Presence, this pulsating Brilliance, this pure Love that was everywhere as all pure white Light. ‘Oh my God, how could that be?!’ I exclaimed to myself. ‘Where has it gone? What about all I went through as Arti? It was all real! How could it have just disappeared?’ A gentle response seemed to come from the cosmic wisdom that was all around, ‘But how could it be Real, when it has just disappeared?’ There was so much knowledge that was shared with me that I can't share it all here. The response said, ‘What is real is only that which is permanent and changeless. That which changes, is within the mirage of time, and truly non-existent. Consciousness, however, as a gentle, delicate, smooth, flowing Presence is ever present; even within the human form, above and beyond the mind, as it is the Experience-less-ness underlying all experience. It never changes, never disappears, and it is therefore, the only Reality.’ I asked, ‘But if this Consciousness alone is real, the world was an illusion? Then where did it come from?’ It replied, ‘Like all manifestation, the world too is the creation of the great illusion or great delusion, which being the Creative aspect of this Supreme Consciousness, or the Lord, is the divine movie-projector of life, in the all-powerful play of the realm of Creation. Just as a mirage in the desert disappears when viewed from a certain perspective, your life as Arti on earth has disappeared, when viewed from the perspective of the Divine Self, where you are now. Only the eternal is real; and from the viewpoint of that Reality, all that is non-eternal, disappears. Yet of course, you, being eternal Atman (the soul) can still view the ‘world of illusion’ if you wish.’ I asked, ‘So my life as Arti never really existed at all, it was an illusion?’ It replied, ‘Oh, it existed; just as a dream exists, or a movie, or a mirage.’ I continued questioning, ‘So the world, was just a figment of my imagination? How did I create it? With my thoughts and desires?’ The reply echoed all around me, ‘Y-e-s-s-s-s!’ as it reverberated within my being. Y e s: I understood now. The world had all been only in my mind, a thought-and-senses created illusion/delusion. Without the senses, mind and body, there was now no ego to perceive the world illusion! It had all existed and happened only in my mind! Our true reality exists outside of the mind, which is where I was at the present moment. I realized the true vastness of my Being and the minuscule nature of the cage of the earthly body. The roles I had played through the many lifetime dramas with different bodies, flashed again into knowing. I smiled, seeing there was absolutely no attachment whatsoever to any of them! How could I, when it was just a play of mind? I had come to terms with the fact that once I, my ego consciousness, left the body, my mind-created world also disappeared. Universal laws seemed to unfold rapidly and poured into my entire electric-wave body. I realized that the real goal of the mind-created life game was to remove the veil of delusion and ignorance and reach the Ultimate Truth of one's reality in life itself. This Truth, this Self I was bathing in and which had encompassed my Being, was nothing but Love. The Truth was Love; pure, unconditional, Universal Love, that is almost non-achievable in human terms. It was the fabric of this Consciousness of which I was a part. Yes, because Love is God and God is Love. It was very clear that the cosmic composition was made up of nothing but Love! Love is the God-glue that is holding ‘All’ together. I realized I was not just inside the Love but rather, one with 'It', this Universal Body of Love, of God. This was completely natural to me, as flame is to fire because it is fire. This was Home and I wanted to be here forever. Immediately with the emergence of this thought-wish, the ego-wave that was Arti, seemed to gracefully meld into the Supreme Presence, dissolving into that Ocean of Love. Arti as the earthly Arti, was no more. An incredible wave of freedom splashed over my being, almost like coming out scrubbed fresh and clean after a long overdue bath. The cellular interchange of atoms with their spiraling exit and entry had stopped because re-programming of my electric light body was completed. I was birthing a new life later known as Mira S. I knew without a doubt that life on earth was just a playground of experience, an assignment from God, a mirror projection of the Divine. In each new lifetime, as the soul makes spiritual progress, its vibrational frequency gets tuned to a faster, higher and finer level depending upon its degree of evolution. The transformation continues until the frequency level is fine-tuned to such a degree that it connects with the frequency of the Cosmos itself, which then allows it to gain entry into Cosmic Consciousness, one’s true self, which is eternal bliss, otherwise known as ananda. In the Light Presence, everything and anything could be readily created or manifested. It was in the Nature of this Supreme Presence. Everyone and everything, anywhere, was right here where I was, present in the seemingly invisible NOW. One just had to think it, and it was available. The transformation-transmutation within my electric body being completed, the electric body too, was no more visible because there was complete Oneness. It was infinite to such a degree that I was no more, and yet I was that Consciousness. There was nothing else and No other. Oh dear God, That is all that exists, the only 'Being' that is! That Consciousness was all around, inside, outside, above, below. It was everywhere! The ALL! As one touched by the Philosopher’s stone, which is said to transform iron into gold, I had gone through a complete transformation and transmutation of the previous self into birthing a new higher self. I was bringing with it an immediate awakening into the ‘knowing’ of Universal Truths and the Reality of Supreme Self. This magnificent All-pervasive Effulgence was so glorious! It was true, there is only one Being, one God, and THAT is the true Self of all. All are just a reflection of God: All are That One. I, too, was That One. THAT is my Reality. I was brimming, overflowing with the supreme knowing that The Supreme Being is my own true Self, my true identity. It was here, now, and always. There is no past or future; it is all happening constantly in the now. Losing it all, dissolving, I was, ‘I AM THAT I AM’ (Aham Brahmasmi) I knew that I was and I AM all there was to know! Just like myself, all of creation wherever and however it existed; whether human, animal, mammal, plant, or nature, all were full in themselves. All were and are God, a beautiful glorious expression of that same Fullness. Creation was just Divinity experiencing itself through Its Creation!! I was bathing in Consciousness, as Consciousness. I was enjoying this bliss of Union with the Absolute, Divine Self, God, and Full with wholeness of Being. I wanted only to remain as this Cosmic Being forever. I never want to be separate again from this Oneness, this All-encompassing Love! This was my feeling, as a faint memory of the world of separateness wafted into my consciousness and anxiousness seemed to take over all of a sudden. I heard myself repeat twice, ‘Where do I go from here? Where do I go from here?’ By the formation of destiny, which is created by our actions and reactions, the newly transformed Being of myself now in existence, having received a downpour of higher Truths and realizing its Higher Self from having merged in Oneness with It. I knew that it had been brought within and as, the pure energy of That One, of pure white Light for a reason, so an element of wonderment was there at what might be coming next? Much to my dismay, however, the All-Pervasive KNOWING came through with a much different response than what I was expecting. Coming loud and clear, It reverberated through that infinite space of Consciousness, ‘You have to go back. You have to do the Work’ communicating that my real work on Earth was to begin now. I called out, ‘Please I don't want to go back! I'm very happy here!!’ But the Lord, Supreme Consciousness had spoken, and it had to be. Right then, I saw a long flexible kind of tunnel which almost looked like a huge hollow umbilical cord. I could actually see the outside and inside of it. Inside it I saw the form of an unborn human baby, with golden, light-colored skin, curled up like a fetus against the inner wall. 'So this is the Cosmic Womb Tunnel,' I thought. It seemed to be coming from infinity and spiraling downwards. But as I looked at it carefully, I exclaimed in alarm, ‘Oh no, not again!’ when I realized that I was that baby, speeding down headfirst, as the curled-up fetus in this cosmic tunnel-like womb, I was crossing the dimensional barriers. I thought, 'Oh God, oh no, I really was going back into Earth consciousness to be reborn!' Next thing I knew, I heard myself let out a cry. I had opened my human eyes. They were looking in the rear view mirror of a car at a mouth bleeding profusely with the whole lower face covered in blood. In a complete daze, feeling totally disoriented, I touched the face in the mirror and realized it was my mouth! I thought, 'Oh God, I have a human body again! I really am back.' The lower gum-bone had been broken and lay flat on my tongue. The four lower front teeth had come out of their gum sockets but were still held by their nerves as they sat on my tongue in the middle of the mouth. Upon touching my face, I could feel tiny particles of glass from the shattered windshield all over my upper face and even my eyelashes, but none, not one, had entered my eyes. Miraculously, despite this gruesome injury in my mouth, I was feeling no pain whatsoever. There was no physical feeling at all.

I don't normally feel a need to share, but I felt a deep calling to share this one with the community. I just released a video on my YouTube channel about my experiences meditating 2 hours per day for a year. If you're interested in hearing about what deep, consistent meditation practice looks like, check it out. If not, you still may find the below post useful. Below, I elaborate on some of recent feelings regarding the forum and this whole meditation vs. psychedelics debate, as well as share more in depth about my meditation journey. Lately, there seems to be a growing chasm in the Actualized.org community regarding psychedelics and then other spiritual practices such as meditation. In one camp, we have people raving about the power of psychedelics, how they provide higher levels of awakening, raise consciousness to higher degrees and how psychedelics more or less shit on other sober practices like meditation, being far superior for Spiritual Awakening or more recently "God Realization." In the other camp, you have people who are against this growing sentiment regarding psychedelics. I seem to have fallen into the latter camp. Initially, I was extremely pro-psychedelics, believing spiritual teachers who more or less dismissed them were full of shit. Let me be clear, I am still pro-psychedelics and still believe many spiritual teachers who dismiss them are full of shit. I have achieved enormous amounts of healing, enormous amounts of spiritual growth, have elevated my baseline levels of compassion and understanding using these tools to degrees that I cannot attribute to anything other than psychedelics. They've propelled my meditation practice into levels and depths that I do not see other meditators achieving, even serious practitioners with more experience. They've tested the limits of my sanity, broken my conceptual paradigms over and over, provided absurdly magical, mystical, and profound journeys into the fringes of consciousness… The journeying has been utterly beautiful and I still have every intention to continue their use for these purposes of exploration. At the very least, they're fun! And even after some heart wrenchingly dark trips, like borderline traumatizing trips that almost feel like they've left scars on the energy body/soul, all of my trips have been nectar for the True Self awakening to what it really is. However, after my first 9 day vipassana meditation retreat, there was a 180 degree paradigm shift. Originally, I was using meditation as a tool to propel my psychedelic journeying to deeper levels. I was successful; the harder I meditated, the deeper my trips became. Yet after that retreat, something very primordially deep shifted, almost like an internal earthquake, a transformation at the level of soul, at a level of self identity which transcends individual lifetimes and is instead the self activity driving reincarnation into subsequent and past lives (I don't know the validity of this necessarily, only that the experience points to something 'like' that). I spent 5 straight days in the most heightened states of consciousness I've ever experienced, essentially tripping balls while being completely sober. Every time I sat to formally practice, reality would just melt into and out of itself. My concentration had penetrated so deeply into the present moment, I was just watching infinite intelligence spontaneously emerge, moment by moment, while simultaneously being palpably conscious of the boundless, formless void of God as giving rise and fall to these microscopically transient fluctuations of formed experience. The space of consciousness would boundlessly expand into infinity as the formless jhanas, and contract into a singularity of non-existence… It is a challenge using words to describe just how profoundly powerful these meditative states really were. Since this retreat and after 2 other vipassana retreats within the span of the next 5 months, these types of mystical experiences have become regular. By the end of this first retreat, I realized psychedelics are tools for plunging more deeply into meditation first and foremost, not the other way around. While rigorous meditation will certainly facilitate deeper trips, meditation will also uproot the attachment to psychedelics as the means by which we awaken to God. Though I do respect the authority and individuality of everyone's path, from what I read on the forum, Leo and those who align with Leo's paradigm have vastly underestimated the potential for meditation and utterly misunderstood the true nature of God. It is very clear to me Leo understands the mechanics of God, his videos are evidence of this, but true understanding of God is the embodiment of God in all moments, not in the transient states of psychedelic trips nor the intellectual conceptualizations about reality after the fact. Furthermore, the paradigm that claims it understands God because of psychedelics and meditation is peanuts in comparison is a paradigm NOT based in direct experience. It is a paradigm based on reifications of self that happen when the ego structure reforms after a deep psychedelic trip. Without the appropriate attentional skills (mindfulness) sober meditation trains, this paradigm occurs at an unconscious level, at a belief level, at a level that is silently creating the context by which psychedelic experiences are conceptualized after the fact. Of course such an explicit criticism will most likely be met with opposition by the ego structure, an authority built behind "You don't know what you're talking about, I've achieved levels so far beyond all teachers, teaching or techniques. Your awakening is far less than mine! Etc. Etc." But please keep in mind, I have enormous experience with tripping. Not just tripping, tripping fucking balls. Please look at my past trip reports as evidence. This position I'm coming from is from the very principles Leo promotes - radical open-mindedness, experimentation, rigorous work ethic, balance, taking my own authority, existential curiosity for knowing what is really true. Now let's be clear - The True Nature of God God is none other than this moment, exactly as it is. This moment, exactly as it is appearing in all of its ignorance, entanglement, delusion, and suffering is an expression of divine perfection, as none other than the love of God. The capacity for God to awaken to itself is infinite. The context out of which experience expands out of, and contracts back into, moment by moment, is God. You as what you really are, is God. God is not an ego structure, but an ego structure is God. God is Mind. The human mind is not God, but arises out of God, as God. God is pure intelligence. God is pure imagination, manifest. God is pure formlessness, unmanifest. The True Nature of Love Love is that which holds space for all states of consciousness. When the mind stops pushing and pulling at experience through the contraction of craving and aversion, the surface level of the human mind slowly comes into union with God's Love. In Buddhism this is referred to as Equanimity. Equanimity is Love. As the activities of the human mind cultivate Equanimity, you are merging into the union with divine, Absolute Love. Notice, the Universe never fights with itself; the actuality of what is happening is the IS exactly as it is appearing as itself. As the Universe permits the actuality of what is, is radical permission of all form, as Love. A mind which radically permits all form, regardless of state, is a mind that embodies Absolute Love. This form of love is heart wrenching, heart cracking because it recognizes the necessity, role, and beauty of horror, delusion, suffering, atrocity. All states of consciousness are Loved, recognized in divine equilibrium. Absolute Love is not an emotion, perception, or transient form, but the context out of which all forms appear. The True Nature of Self You are the field from which all arises, passes, emerges, and vanishes. You are comprehensible through direct incomprehension. You are the expansion and contraction of all phenomena. You are the expansion and contraction as all phenomena. You are the context out of which all phenomena expand and contract. You are the witness that sees self activity act its drama. You are the witness, witnessing, and witnessed. You are the witness of the witness. You are the space from which time and space manifest themselves into and out of existence. You are the womb, the creator, the created, simultaneously. You are the grain of sand and the Sahara. You are the wave in the ocean and the ocean. You are paradox itself. You are the absolute unknown mystery, as well as the humility and arrogance that proports to understand. You are the nothing at all, the still point where all points of reality envelope, develop and exist as unmanifest potentiality. You are yourself, exactly where you are, as you are. You are always here; you are always now. You could never have been more or less you. If these types of insights and pointers are only deeply available through psychedelics, if you believe you cannot become palpably conscious of these insights and pointers through meditation, then your paradigm may very well be backwards. A psychedelic insight's true utility is to bring back the insight into lived, everyday, mundane experience. How can we effectively do that? Meditation. A LOT of meditation. There are two fundamental lessons we will learn from deep meditation practice. 1) Meditation can take us into states rivaling and surpassing the profundity of psychedelics, while doing so in a way which actually trains the mind to access these states without the need for psychedelics. 2) Right where we are, exactly as we are, is Absolute Truth. This is the beginning of the final awakening that 'what we are' truly seeks. The self activity keeps going, the dramas of life keep playing. The awakenings pull us ever deeply into the unimaginable depths of consciousness, yet on some level 'what we are' understands that what it is cannot exclude even the most unconscious of states. The appreciation I have for Actualized.org is ineffable. I found Leo at an inflection point in my life, a point where I was so lost. It was Leo's brash, borderline arrogant teaching style that cracked open my mind to start questioning itself. It was Leo's wit and philosophical intelligence that forced me to challenge my long held intellectual positions about the nature of self, mind, and consciousness. It was Leo's channel that invigorated my interest in psychedelics and facilitated a Hero's journey across the internal cosmos. It was Leo's channel that lead me to understand my own authority and limitation. It was Leo's channel that challenged me to become a true sage, mystic, and lover of Truth. It was Leo's channel that propelled me to take self-actualization and the cornerstone practice of meditation even more seriously. But it is precisely because of Leo that I write these words. It is precisely because I Leo that I so vehemently disagree with the direction this forum is heading. And in a sense, I'm writing into the collective here, urging, challenging and demanding that this community, an actual gem for humanity, not get pulled off track. And yet Actualized.org will do and become whatever it will. As a move and practice of detachment, and love, I won't be spending as nearly as much energy trying to pull back on the collective ego that is caught in the hamster wheel of samsara, constantly seeking the illusion of deeper, more grandiose awakenings. As long as you're meditating, you will awaken to infinite degrees of consciousness until you die; you don't need psychedelics to do it. And as you're awakening to the true nature of God, you will lose attachment to all of it. When you finally awaken, you will let yourself unfold in its own time, in its own sequence. When you finally awaken, you will recognizing the perfection of every step up the mountain, honoring the necessity of every grain of sand, blessing the flow of each drop in the ocean. Unity will emerge As infinity unfolds Life will be death And all states, surrendered All moments will be one A seeking which as was sought All delusions to be none Contractions of craving Finally, undone As children, we'll keep growing Expanding evermore But in the light of Truth, Does this moment truly soar In the Love of God Perfection's indiscriminate pour I am happy to answer any questions below. I wish all of you well on your path. Perhaps you may find value in my perspective, perhaps not. Thank you for your path, thank you for your dharma, in whatever form it takes on. With Love, You