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Christ is not Jesus’s last name,,,,,, https://cac.org/anointing-with-love-2019-04-10/ https://cac.org/wisdom-jesus-weekly-summary-2017-04-15/ Jesus was not a priest or a prophet in the usual sense of those terms. Rather, he was a wisdom teacher. He stayed close to the ground of wisdom: the transformation of human consciousness.

@DocWatts I watched and heard this perspective from Chomsky before right around the time I started learning and finding of libertarian socialism and socialism, in general, a few years ago. 1. I admit I feel a slight anti-white Western liberal cringe and bias when I hear this seemingly urbanite liberal white girl who just got into revolutionary theory and politics pose a question to Chomsky about Lenin's legacy in such a hyperactive and excited tone and voice. It's cute but I get LARPy vibes from her, though better that than nothing for her and other young people there starting to independently to learn on their own about the history of marxism and socialism to start deprogramming themselves and forming their own autonomous interpretative worldviews and more critical thought patterns based on their own reading, insights, and literature from the biases, prejudices, and assumptions that the mainstream western corporate media ingrains in its audiences. 2. I am not defending now or advocating in my understanding for the centralized version of the Soviet Union under Stalin and later others, though I think at the time it performed despite its many terrors and horrors that it committed on its population an overall modernization and civilizational uplifting of the people of Eastern Europe free from becoming victims of external exploitation, stagnation and the inability to develop and grow on their own under the international system of capitalist unequal exchange (Zizek quotes in the text I posted above that the Soviet leaders including Stalin viewed it this way, though Stalin performed it in a more autocratic, centralized and imperialist way towards other nations). 3. Much of the autocratization and centralization of the Soviet Union happened under Stalin: ''The direction in which Stalin was already heading is clear from his proposal that the government of Soviet Russia should also be the government of the other five republics (Ukraine, Belarus, Azerbaijan, Armenia, and Georgia): If the present decision is confirmed by the Central Committee of the RCP, it will not be made public, but communicated to the Central Committees of the Republics for circulation among the Soviet organs, the Central Executive Committees, or the Congresses of the Soviets of the said Republics before the convocation of the All-Russian Congress of the Soviets, where it will be declared to be the wish of these Republics. The interaction of the higher authority, the Central Committee, with its base was thus abolished: the higher authority now simply imposed its will. To add insult to injury, the Central Committee decided what the base would ask the higher authority to enact as if it were its own wish.'' 4. Zizek already addressed in the article where Lenin diverged from Rosa on the question of none necessity of progressive forces to lead the new states of some undeveloped countries and the inability of people to become libertarian right away without first: the idea of a modest, "realistic" project for Bolshevism. Because of the economic under-development and cultural backwardness of the Russian masses, he argues, there is no way for Russia to "pass directly to socialism": all that Soviet power can do is to combine the moderate politics of "state capitalism" with the intense cultural education of the peasant masses – not the brainwashing of propaganda, but a patient, gradual imposition of civilized standards. Facts and figures revealed "what a vast amount of urgent spadework we still have to do to reach the standard of an ordinary west European civilized country … We must bear in mind the semi-Asiatic ignorance from which we have not yet extricated ourselves," he wrote. 5. On this note that he said we should agree with the fascists that it wasn't socialism but the destruction of it to avoid their strawman's and projections, but I would remind him of this quote from Zizek what disservice that does for the progressive and humanistic legacy it did for some nations of Eastern Europe and what opportunism that supplies for the right-wing reactionary movements: ''One of the signs of this regression is a request often heard on the new European right for a more "balanced" view of the two "extremisms", the right and the left. We are repeatedly told that one should treat the extreme left (communism) the same way that Europe after the second world war treated the extreme right (the defeated fascists). But in reality, there is no balance here: the equation of fascism and communism secretly privileges fascism. Thus the right is hard to argue that fascism copied communism: before becoming a fascist, Mussolini was a socialist; Hitler, too, was a National Socialist; concentration camps and genocidal violence were features of the Soviet Union a decade before Nazis resorted to them; the annihilation of the Jews has a clear precedent in the annihilation of the class enemy, etc. The point of these arguments is to assert that moderate fascism was a justified response to the communist threat (a point made long ago by Ernst Nolte in his defense of Heidegger’s involvement with Nazism). In Slovenia, the right is advocating the rehabilitation of the anti-communist Home Guard which fought the partisans during the second world war: they made the difficult choice to collaborate with the Nazis in order to thwart the much greater evil of communism.'' I plan to read starting from the basics using Wolff as a reference in Understanding Marxism and Understanding Socialism when I get to it in my free time. 6. Also on the final note it was in then developed industrialized civilized countries such as Germany seen ripe for socialist transformation according to orthodox Marxists that the destruction of socialism also took place that the German Social Democrats voted on the war credits to send the German proletariat into an imperialist war on behalf of the German ruling class and arranged for the assassination of the leaders of the Spartacist Socialist Movement Liebknecht and Luxemburg.

Hello, This is a trip report of my Ayahuasca ceremony. I won't dive into the setting details, other than stating that it was in nature with a group and a shaman. After drinking the first cup, it was obvious that the medicine works by releasing the initial layers of unconscious mind into Consciousness. This is observed by sensing that the flow of energy in the body (whether physical, emotional or energy sense of the body) is more balanced. This observation is especially noticeable in the "Chakras", like between the eyebrows, in the center of the chest, solar plexus and more. This sense of energy flow was accompanied by complex Psychedelic visuals, that cannot be described by me other than the sense of purifying thoughts and beliefs form the unconscious mind. If I push the envelope on my creativity, I would describe the visuals as emotionally geometric shapes the resembles the visual representation of suppressing thoughts, feelings and emotions. As more and more suppressed thought is brought to surface, nauseous and nasty feelings in the body are felt, which is reasonable if the medicine oblige you to face your shadow and feel it. All and all, the first cup is quite manageable, even though it requires coping with some truth regarding the hidden aspects of our adopted identity. However, the second cup is where the real work knocked on my door and asked for answers. Ready? So after 'excavating' the initial layers of the shadow, it is time to face our most hidden and obnoxious thoughts and beliefs regarding our self and others. This is where I was forced to meet with the deep traumatic events of my life, and the conceptual architecture that erected as a result of this traumas. The deep layers of our subconscious is where fear, guilt, shame, hurt, dishonesty, illusion and attachment lurks. Encountering those aspect of my shadow was extremely painful to swallow, almost unbearable. It wouldn't surprise you that this is the part where most people are crying from the depth of the pain the reside in their emotional heart, and emit unreasonable voices of disgust and terror having to face shame and guilt, and of course, vomit their intestines out. This is purification of both body and mind, which are ultimately two sides to the same coin. During purification and afterwards deep insight regarding thoughts and beliefs can be gleaned, and it becomes obvious that every thought we hold affects the body, that in some way the thought form wishes to materialize in the body. For me, it was no different. Childhood trauma made me cry and emit voices of sheer helplessness due to feelings of rejection, shame and guilt. This was accompanied for me by extremely complex visuals both in shape and color, which I lack the ability to describe with words. Finally, I had to face the belief that I am this specific body-mind. I was "shown" that this is an illusion, that who I really am isn't some specific self, but both this self and every other self. In some weird way I cannot explain, I had visuals that showed me how self and other complete each other and cannot exist one without the other. Every experience of my self was possible only due to the experience of others, and vice versa. Even thought the distinction between self and other seem solid and separated, it is an illusion. The distinction between experiencing only one mind and experiencing another's mind is what enables the Self to experience different minds. This was extremely daunting for the attachment to the mind, which I sensed as some deep pain for being deluded so long. I cried. I realized that I could never hide aspects of my self from others, because I am others so the only one I am hiding from is me, which is a paradox. It is impossible to hide from You, because You is all there is, and You know when the self is hiding. Whenever we manipulate an other, whether it is by lying, misrepresenting, affectations, etc., we are only manipulating our self. The same goes, of course, for hurting or judging the 'other'. Thinking of our Being as some specific self is an illusion, a trick of mind, an attachment that distort the Truth. After realizing that the body-mind is not even a blip in existence, that who I am isn't this body-mind, I experienced a sensation of being reborn. I was relieved completely of my shadow and attachment to thought. I could not care less what others think of me, I only wanted to hug them and tell them that I love them. The perceptions of the body sensations and the sky in night was of pure bliss, joy and love, as in being grateful for just existing. I could not fathom that such sensations of freedom can be felt. Breathing was deep and profound, penetrating every particle of my being and the nervous system felt rejoiced, renewed and "electrical". I could sense profound sense of divine energy between my eyebrows for I finally saw reality for what is is. The magnitude of my enthusiasm and astonishment was out of this world, and I could not hold my self from saying repeatedly: Wow, wow, wow. To wrap things up, I would say that Ayahuasca differs from the classic Psychedelics not only because it is DMT which enables to dive deep into our shadow or unconscious mind, but allow us to flood the unconscious to the conscious long enough so we can see all of our hidden delusions and emotions. Mix this with the shamans music and way of touching our hidden and sensitive aspects of our self, and you get a profound experience. Don't get me wrong, Psilocybin and LSD can and probably will expose your subconscious, but usually not to depths of Ayahuasca. As for DMT in it's freebase form, the trip is usually too fast and too complex to glean serious insight regarding self and mind. But it is nice to make you curious. I would also say that if you "cleaned" your subconscious, than your trips will probably be lucid and without all this repressed emotions and horrific visuals. This is probably rare amongst human beings because we tend to be selfish and dishonest, so only mature and extremely honest individuals will have "lite" subconscious. Regarding practices such as meditation and contemplation, I cannot deny their ability to penetrate our hidden aspects, but if you want to reach the bottom of the subconscious, the root of the false self, they require intense focus and commitment. I really hope this post helped you in some way. Ayahuasca can be extremely complex and emotionally disturbing experience. But it can also mature you a lot, bring modesty to the self, and motivate transformation. It is also a heart opening trip because you can learn the deep truth regarding the illusion of being a specific self, which in turn weakens the attachment to mind and body. Much love

@Tyler Durden Cool thread, read through your discussion with BenG. Unfortunately, being able to change reality in the way you wish, at least without throwing a potentially dangerous formula for HPPD into the mix, is magical thinking. Spirituality is more about changing your relationship to reality than bending reality to your will. There's a great scene from the matrix about just this, actually. https://youtu.be/uAXtO5dMqEI Fortunately, you won't physically die if this happens. However, it can certainly feel like you're forgetting large chunks of information about yourself. This forgetting is part of a metaphysical transformation that some, who've gone through the process, report to have "felt like dying". You aren't dying. If it makes you feel more comfortable with the process, which has a long track record of getting pretty creepy at times, try reframing it. For example, you could think of it like deleting the cookies and clearing the cache on your web browser, so that it runs faster. Not so scary now. Same old browser, right? Alternatively, you could think of the information you're forgetting as having been getting in the way of your remembering something else which will radically improve your luck in ways that just about everything else in life can't quite. For the best results, don't worry so much about getting the next great reframe from Leo or your other teachers, and just get creative! If you have the energy, make it a game to see how you can reframe unsightly situations in novel ways that you find personally empowering. When you get tired and don't want to play anymore, recall something simple that gives you just a little more peace of mind in the next moment. It's perfectly fine that you're asking these types of questions. And don't beat yourself up for having physical insecurities. The big old wide open void of forgetting is our pal on the spiritual path, and when you're ready to move on, she'll take good care of all these woes for ya. Back to the bad news. You need to stop looking back if you want to be able to sprint fast enough for long enough to totally leave your problems in the dust. Knowing how much pain they cause is a step in the right direction, and fully feeling pain might make a good next step. You can't wake up and live the rest of your life in someone else's body, but you absolutely can enjoy the body you've got. Godspeed, Tyler.

I too am an American (living in New York) who is deeply disturbed by what is happening to my country. My own approach as a private citizen -- for whatever it is worth -- is to be kind, to be gentle, to speak truth to power when necessary, but to generally listen before speaking, and to seek consensus in whatever modest form it can take. I believe our country is on the verge of a very difficult cultural transformation (from Orange to Green, in the language of Spiral Dynamics), and we are as like gardeners tending to a plant that is ailing. This task requires a great amount of sensitivity and skillfulness. So aside from voting responsibly and supporting political changes that open the door to greater democratic representation, I think the key is to be present as fully as possible.

With Stuff like David R Hawkins and Julien Blanc's Transformation Mastery - do we not think that by going out and approaching but also by putting our awareness on those sensations of fear and/or journaling about those feelings of fear, we can reduce our approach anxiety/general social anxiety more permanently overtime? Julien Blanc claims he doesn't need to get 'in state' anymore, he is naturally in state because he isn't resistant to the sensations in his body.

Attachment is a very deep subject in both spirituality and psychology and the healing of our core attachment wounds improve both those separate lines of development (not confusing spiritual development for realization). This link stems from the work of Daniel P Brown whose has not only been the lead pioneer in attachment research in the world of psychology and psychotherapy but also an advanced Vajrayana Mahamudra that’s been trained by some of the best including the likes of the Dalai Lama. He’s written works like Transformations of Consciousness with Ken Wilber as well as his groundbreaking work Pointing Out The Great Way. The extent of his work though is really a magnum opus in itself so I won’t really do it justice. Anyways.. Many of you are probably kinda crazy like me. I have a lot of trauma but also was diagnosed with ADHD as early as 6 along and so forth. I notice some of you on here point out that you guys struggle with similar things and coincidentally that shows up as issues not just in day your meditation/spiritual practice but also your relationships and other behavioral patterns. One of the things that’s being found with ambiguous issues like ADHD for example is not just that it’s a multidimensional issues that likely doesn’t have just one source but that it’s also commonly rooted in things like attachment disorders/disturbances based on the 5 pillars that constitute healthy or unhealthy attachment but also things even like trauma and even prenatal trauma. Now trauma and attachment disorders aren’t really the same but they “interact” or relate. This has become an issue for many of us (particularly boys/guys/men) in this day in age due to the transformation that’s resulted in the modern and postmodern family system as it moved out of more traditional family systems prior to women joining the workforce and this children had less attention and nurturance that were too busy working (PLEASE RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO FALL INTO IDEOLOGICAL THINKING WITH THIS AS THATS NOT WHERE I’M COMING FROM). I imagine many of us don’t really notice this stuff because it’s become so normal at this point we don’t really see it unless we visit or interact with families in say the 3rd world like say in Tibet (I’ll get to them in a little bit) that don’t have the kind of neurotic dysfunctional family issues that we have here in the west (particularly in America). To highlight this I want to share some things that might illuminate this a bit more using both Tibet and Tibetan Buddhism. There’s a story from some time ago when the Dalai Lama was at a press conference and a Buddhist practitioner (I think it was actually Sharon Salzburg if I’m not mistaken) asked the Dalai Lama about self loathing. The Dalai Lama stopped the press conference for some minutes to speak to his translator. He then proceeded completely bewildered and spoke how Tibetan people don’t have that and how he couldn’t even comprehend why people would do that to themselves in that it was completely unheard of to him. Which isn’t really a tell tale sign about his enlightenment as much as it is a sign that that truly doesn’t exist in Tibet despite the suffering of many people there. It’s a cultural thing. You see, when Tibetan monks practice Loving Kindness in formal Tibetan Buddhism, you know what their practice is? They visualize their mother as their mother was perfectly loving for them. Those early healthy attachment bonds are in place in those early years and that’s really a cultural thing. Can you imagine how many westerners would struggle with such a practice? I know I would and I know I’m not alone as this is common in todays modern and postmodern world relative to the simplicity that comes within a traditional culture. I even notice the contrast in psychological temperament when I hangout with friends that grew up in more traditional upbringings (particularly eastern but even Christian too). Now, what are those 5 Pillars of Attachment? Safety Attunement (usually with the mother) Delight Affect Regulation A sense of support for being and becoming one’s unique best self. If you’d like more details into each of these pillars you can check out the following text in the following link: https://www.onlyyouforever.com/the-5-pillars-of-attachment/ So what do you do if you have any one of those needs or issues in any one of those 5 pillars? Well, here are some resources for you that stem from the work of Daniel P Brown. The first one I suggest is to go to the following link: https://www.attachmentproject.com/ There you can find therapeutic modules and resources to truly heal these wounds and attachment disturbances. They are incredibly affordable as, from what I recall seeing, being under $60. That’s a great deal in my opinion. The next one is what is called The Ideal Parent Visualization which Dan Brown actually guides that you can find here: https://www.integralsomaticawakening.com/resources The protocol for this practice is to do it right when you wake up. If you have a meditation practice you do first thing in the morning, do it before you start your usual practice. This practice is one that’s serves multiples purposes. First off, it’s of course about healing and cultivating core attachment wounds by visualizing (and you can really include the somatic field of your experience - this is big for me personally - if you’re not the best at visualization) perfect ideal parents that aren’t in the image of your biological parents and cultivate those core aspects in your own experience slowly over the course of weeks and really many months. Ultimately though this also evolves into a deeper spiritual practice where the goal is to eventually merge in union with the perfect parents in your visualization as it really is on par as a deity practice. Oops! Did I give that away?! Don’t worry about that though. That’ll happen if and when it happens. Start where you’re at and don’t shoot for anymore than where you’re currently at. There is so much to really say on healing this stuff. Yes it’s nice that it does help promote greater spiritual development but it also helps with healing those core wounds that were created in relationship to others in our childhood that land us sleeping with people that not so coincidentally are very much like our parents and we relate to in the same subtle ways with them as we did with our parents and getting into the same kind of relationships again and again and again. This is karma. We’re trying to fill deeper needs that we didn’t get early in childhood and unconsciously find people to fill those needs. That’s okay. We’re just trying our best with what we got whether we know it or not. There is a way to satiate these unmet needs though. I highly recommend checking those resources out and of course also getting good psychotherapy that deals with these attachment issues. Generally I hear tell it takes 3-18 months to really heal these kinds of disturbances. If I were you though I’d throw away these timelines. If this resonates with you I highly recommend you give yourself what you’ve been looking for. Take care and thanks for staying with this long post if you’ve made it this far. I hope it serves you.

It definitely happens and will more than likely occur again even after this phase of anxiety is released. This is the process of purification, the mind slowly training itself to be at peace in the midst of pain or pleasure without craving and aversion. Long story short, sounds like you’re right on track! As far as strategies to help soften these kinds of phases of practice, 1) A shamatha focus rather than vipassana or open awareness. Focusing on feelings of bliss, happiness, contentment, and equanimity while following a meditation object like the breath sensations at the nostrils or whole body. 2) You can try a short breathwork session before a sit. Ive found doing anywhere from 2-5 mins of wim hof style breathing followed by holding my breath as long as possible afterwords to be extremely grounding and energetically clearing before meditation. 3) Throw in walking meditation. These can be very rejuvenating when formal seated practice becomes too intense. 4) Intentionally scale back practice. If 10 mins is all you feel called for, no reason to “should all over yourself” into thinking you need more. 1 minute of formal practice is better than none. Id keep the daily consistency, no matter how small. 5) Try meditating with meditative music or sound bowls. Can be very healing and help dissipate and transform the anxiety energy. 6) Listening to guided meditations. The only guided meditations Ill listen to are from a YouTube channel called Samaneri Jayasara, which is about as enlightening as guided meditations can be. 7) Endure, push through, bring equanimity and truth even to these sensations. At the end of the day, all moments are moments of truth and freedom. So even if we find relief through transformation, the process of purifying the mind means we will eventually be able to sit in sensations of anxiety with no issues.

Agreed.... as Gandhi observed it is only experience that changes the will... theoretical learning is usefull but it cannot bring transformation... we have to act in the real world and take real risks to build personal empowerment...

One thing that helps with the being in core vibration at all times is recognizing the shift from “forcing” to “flowing” can be instantaneous to a mind that sees reality deeply. We can literally shift up and down the emotional scale at will. The more trained, unified and clear the mind is (cultivated most effectively through meditation and mindfulness), the more quickly this shift can occur. Another crucial point about this kind of mind akido is that the “shift” that occurs does not always create the downstream “in flow” or “in vibration” feelings immediately. There can at times be a lag in the time it takes for the new momentum to build, the immediate shift in vibration we’re looking for is not in the manifest feelings (although again these too can be subject to immediate transformation), but an immediate shift in the context holding emotions, which is actually more powerful, as this context is actually the space creating reality and at the deepest levels, all of reality. The emotions and being “in state” are just downstream by products. After all, sometimes being moody and depressed is exactly where we need to be to be at our best and in state, when we hold this topic holistically and maturely.

@HypnoticMagician I feel the opposite it would gain more. If you really want to play advocatus diaboli play it with a bit more mindfulness. I love criticism, yet what you wrote is sheer stupidity and myopia. I am better off doing the stuff instead of receiving that kind of feedback. What you are saying stuff that happend in my life would basically drive you to suicide for me you are just some rando online. I don't think commenting me is going to work for you. Just stop it. Writting j.k like a 12 y.o apologizing for brat like behaviour using this nasty kind of fantasy language. I don't know just give others feedback who are worse off than me. Your opinion to me is as close to worthless as it gets. The amount of assumptions you make is horrible. Go troll someone else. I care about results and not about your philosophy of things. What kind of feedback is this? The way you type almost tells me everything about you. So, just go through your transformation. Talking about assumptions.

changing bad habits for good ones is haaard... for me at least... in many ways, success and fulfilment in life is really a question of what behaviours and patterns I have effectively habituated... for me it was and is incredibly important to have support and accountability when trying to shed old habits and develop new ones... willpower alone is rarely enough - the whiteknuckle approach to personal transformation has 'got no legs' Good luck my friend! Lucas

Would like to quote Adyashanti here: "As soon as you can let go of what was, and the way you thought it was going to be, and who you thought you were going to be, how that was going to secure everything. The sooner you let go of that, even thought it’s kind of behind you already…. the sooner you allow it to be gone, because you see you are transforming…." "You know those romantic ideas of the caterpillar becoming a butterfly…. used in spiritual books, the caterpillar goes into the cocoon and becomes a butterfly. What happens in that cocoon? The caterpillar goes “what the hell, it was not a good idea to weave this damn thing. This is not a cocoon, it’s a coffin.” The transformation starts to happen. “Oh my God, I am not going to be the same person I was when this finishes.” You don’t know where it’s going. There is no relation between a caterpillar and a butterfly. A butterfly is not a flying caterpillar. Caterpillars and butterflies don’t have much to do with each other. There is a transformation at the seat of your consciousness that happens. And the transformation is like what I am describing. As it is happening, there is a fear and reaching back to how it was. The way forward seems so blind, doesn’t it? You have no idea. You are moving into a new way of being that you have no operating manual for. You had a good operating manual for the dream state. Highly functional, illusory egoic self. At least you knew how to function in the dream state. That makes it even more weird, when that whole thing starts to transform. I understand that. Don’t imagine that where you feel yourself to be now…. that’s not the destination point. You are already moving through it. You can only go through it, there is no going back."

Just stop, my friend. Just stop. You don't need to make any transformation you are already enlightened. Just let go of all the effort to do any spiritual practices and be still. Don't try to get anywhere just be here as you are. The god is always within you in every moment, all you have to do is let go of control. Surrender to what is now. Every moment.

I am apparently very attractive but even so, I never got laid easily until doing quite a bit of meditation and mind transformation away from neurotic and insecure tendencies. Then I could “come out of my shell” (? seriously though) and just be a good guy who isn’t intimidated by anything and can very comfortably “be myself.” But I would say, “game” is damn intuitive. If you still need to get the pickup phase out of your system, I highly recommend it, from experience, but not exactly to the degree I believe many others have — though it’s not what you probably think... Imagine going from having no game to then practically merely sticking your toe in that world, getting what you want surprisingly fast, and then miraculously finding super early-on that it’s already enough... That is what happened to me. But I’m certain that I’m extremely “lucky” in that regard. And there’s still more to learn. But the natural game-skill or at least game-mindset was somehow uncovered from a fair amount of experience working in a women’s department store (it wasn’t strictly a shoe store, Leo ).

Not an ideal. There’re twofold: transformation and consciousness. One way to summarize the goal: decreasing self increases consciousness. Realizing your self isn’t you. This is what I’m told. What you said isn’t true. You can have fun and be enlightened. Enlightenment is about the truth.

About the last two weeks Incredible things happened in the last two weeks, so I made a list.. The most incredible one was on this Friday: an ex colleague (and hopefully soon a friend of mine) called me to tell me about a formation exactly in what I want to practice when I’ll be doing integrative medicine and also to tell me about a job offer to do an internship in a medical office that has the same philosophy. As cherry on top of the cake the formator and mentor of the medical office knows me by a friend of mine who actually lives in Sardinia!! Universe always delivers big time!! I haven’t said yes to the offer yet as it is for May 2022 and it would mean resigning from the job I have now where I have a one year contract and I also risk to have to pay for the room that I am renting in the new canton but aside from that it’s an amazing opportunity!! During the last session with my therapist, she made a great point about my fear of displeasing other people, which is just the other side of the coin of people pleasing. I am awake enough to know now that people pleasing is manipulation, so I release it. Easier said than done but at least the step of awareness is done. Another thing she said was to learn to channel negative emotions. I do it more and more. The most helpful for me is the D-Love journal, a journal I started in March where I write to myself in an unconditionally loving way. Thank you Universe for giving me this idea!! On Wednesday this week I had a hotseat session with the mentor of the mindset training I’m in. I decided to talk about vulnerability as I noticed that I am still not able to be as authentic as I would like (#backtopeoplepleasing I guess). She said “It’s uncomfortable doing you when you’re not used to it. It’s a birth-giving process.” I just need to lean into the resistance and finding the courage to show myself as I am and speak my truth. There is a nuance though: it’s not about telling all of my thoughts and feelings to the whole world: I need to find what is ok for me to share and be aware of what is appropriate for the situation. She gave me the challenge of finding out how I can be more vulnerable at work. It will be by speaking up when I disagree with or just do not fully understand the why of what my supervisors propose for patient care. Last weekend I participated to an online workshop with the mindset training. It was very intense and focused on Self Love. The main lesson I got from it was the fact that anxiety comes from our mind trying to predict the future based on what happened in the past. Yet the future is made by what I decide to think, feel and do in the present moment. Also, personal growth, inner child and shadow work are all supposed to be life-long processes apparently. Does it mean that I’ll never get rid of anxiety? Idk.. Quoting my mentor, it just means that life will continue to throw challenges to me to foster my growth. So it’s totally possible that one day I’ll stop worrying about things that will probably never happen. Defined like this it’s so ridiculous!! :’) Thank you Universe for all this awareness!! Here are some gold nuggets I got from the workshop: The more you love yourself, the more other people can love you Dancing is the language of the soul My message to my inner child: You can tell things!! I am love, love is not something I give or receive: I can just operate as love. It’s all about balance: our best traits can become negative if pushed at the extreme. The negativity/positivity that we think creates in the world. Suffering comes from resisting reality so get busy only with what you can control: your thoughts, actions and feelings!! Dismantling th Ego is understanding how it defines the future based on the past. Acceptance is the fastest way to transformation. Acting on what you’re intuitively guided towards is challenging, that’s just the way it is. Return to love daily. Focus on what you want to become and what you want to attract. When you’re you all the time you’re less exhausted. Love rules and love heals. Your thoughts are not your thoughts, until you start creating intentionally (with affirmations, visualizations etc). Showing up is the most important thing for a relationship. Be authentic, 100%!! Be willing to be vulnerable, being vulnerable is the true act of courage. Don’t make it about achieving things, make it about being the best human being you can be. You’re always one decision away from becoming a different person. Share the growth, not the process! Keep leaning into the resistance: go where you’re uncomfortable every day! Keep letting go: if you’re meant to be together, you’ll find each other. Be clear and stay clear! New affirmations: To let go of what’s no longer in alignment with the life I want: “I deserve the very best that life has to offer. You are not the best so I release you”. It doesn’t matter what the mind is saying, I just practice. I am love and I only act from love. The next step now is doing more and being more intentional in what I do. I noticed I’m letting myself go in some subtle ways, like meditating in bed instead of seated; not really exercising and eating things I one ate just exceptionally more regularly. A nation is born stoic and dies epicurean (Will Durant). Fortunately I live in the same era as Ryan Holiday. I’ll subscribe again to the Daily Stoic!!

Friday 18/11/2021 22:10 If my anxiety fades a bit, what I'm left with is a bit of an indifference to life or death, I suppose. I'm not in a rush to kill myself, and neither do I desire to. They talk about there being intrinsic fear, which I seem to have internalised in habits, but the habits look unreal to me from this POV as a role which could be broken, I just lack motivation. Silence and book can be my companion, maybe walking tomorrow. I have no need for food today but I could very well eat I'm not sure about the extent of my "transformation". I get a gentle smile from life somehow. I've probably been living with eyes closed for a while, unwilling to leave my hole despite inner realisations A long way to go

Lol no sorry I don't get the three cups reference. I don't believe the thought is perception. I know the word simply refers to something that I perceive. I look around and I perceive what I CALL change. I perceive what I call old people and young people. The word refers to something real that I perceive though. And baby to old person is called change or transformation but certainly not No change.

In my own journey, I've found there is a direct relationship between how much I love myself and how needy I am for the love of others.... I don't think there's a silver bullet - it takes time and work and more time and more work, but real transformation is indeed possible... before I could really start to grow and change, I had to face up to and own the fact that, on a deep level, I hated myself... it sounds severe, I know, but I had to face the truth before I could move forward... I wish you (self) love and healing my friend...

No shit. What I tried to say was that if he only got views I doubt the transformation would be this drastic. I love it..

It's not just about sex. Actually very little. It's more about the significant personal transformation that occurs when a man does a lot of serious cold approach and socialising. A part of that man dies and a newer, stronger more masculine individual is created. It's almost like a right of passage into manhood if taken seriously. The sex is a small by-product of the process. Most guys are just happy to get a bit of attention and validation from a female.

I can speak for myself that if you do an authentic high quality practice like isha yoga and not some youtube cowdung, all these things like depression, anxiety, insomnia will go away. I'm saying this, because I used to be depressed and suicidal 24/7 some years ago. And today I can't even remember when I had a bad day or a bad sleep. Life is easy, your problem is you're looking for solutions in the wrong place, you do some stupid nonsence and then expect results to come. No, unless you do the right things, rights thinga won't happen to you. I recommend people if they're serious about their own wellbeing to find a high quality tools for their transformation instead of listening to false teachers and teachings that are roaming the entire internet space today. Regards ❤?

Insane visuals for half a tab. I've got that highly connected ADHD brain or something making me super sensitive to these substances. Note: When doing my research, this was by far one of the most helpful trip reports because this girl compared and contrasted her experience with psilocybin. The psychonaught wiki was also my main source for cataloging the long laundry list of visuals you can get on LSD. Super helpful to help prepare me for the trip. October 30th 2021 Dose: About 50mcg, half a tab. Route of Administration: Sublingually. Intentions: - What is Clarity? - Self inquiry. - Getting introduced to LSD. Taken sublingually at 9:00am First 20 minutes. Start dancing to boost my state. - Alejandro by Lady Gaga - Love You Like a Love Song by Selena Gomez LEOO you gotta add this song to your playlist: - Dancing on my own by Robyn Feeling excited. I feel like it's gonna hit me when I least expect it lol. 30-40 mins Been sitting for awhile, pretty bored. A bit of yawning? A bit of nausea? Maybe? 47 mins Anxiety in chest? Mom calls me, giggles. She's my trip sitter. Something is shifting. 50 minutes A bit of nausea in the stomach Loss of focus. 57 minutes Lying on the floor with my dog, waiting for something cool to happen. Kind of bored. 1h 5min Maybe a bit of pattern recognition. Feeling slow. Breathing couch Flattening visuals. The couch and pillows are one surface. Perspective distortions. Just feel funny. Been feeling very sluggish. Clarity is the ability to see through reality. >Probably the only thing I got from this intention lol, I've already contemplated what clarity was for several hour beforehand sober. 1h 18 min Tired af, yawning af Blurred vision. Seeing colours around my phone keyboard letters. Just noticed I'm being taken under now. 1h 30 min Visuals, patterns in the snow on the tarp EXACTLY like those tree Visuals. Feel like I'm in the middle of a sleep. Giggles. Good body high. 1h 30 Visuals. Vibration. Body is vibrating. Teeth chattering. Lots of giggles. I perceive the house differently. Each space is its own room. Each spot of the room becomes its own corner of reality. 1h 41min In a really good mood. Blurred movement. >> Tracers on everyone walking around me. Visual example. When I look at my mothers face I see tracers pulsating outwards from each wrinkle on her face. Pulsating tracers on pretty much everything. Salivation. 1h 50 min Super comfortable, yet asleep, yet awake. Half in Reality, half out. Half in my head, half in conventional physical reality. Increased vision for detail. Super easy to be distracted. Super free to easily contemplate. 2h Kicked in. >I look at my arm, and the hairs on my arm are dancing to the music. > I think at around here I went for a walk with my mom, walking my dogs, and we were looking at the gorgeous mountain views. Nice and sunny, nice nippy cold, blue skies, trees everywhere, late fall season, greens and oranges and blues and golden yellows. I got this wicked holistic insight. Where I saw reality as this context-less amalgamation of evolution, and how I was just a part of that. I imagined myself as an eyeball growing out of the ground like a plant to look at myself. I saw reality from a perspective free from the several stories we tell ourselves to ground our reality in, and reality felt like a funky dream that was like walking in the dream world from the video game Tak 2. It felt like Minecraft pre-classic. Minecraft version rd-132211. I was FILLED with wonder about how strange reality actually is. This was probably the BEST part of my trip. Looking out at the mountains, realizing how mysterious it was that all of this was there. It was all consciousness, it was all foreign, it was raw. Raw reality is the most beautiful. I got a tiny hint of what it would feel like to realize that I created that mountain. >Later I look at my face in the mirror When I get home, and I see patterning on my face, my face is melting, I see a man stretched out like a starfish on my nose like mermaid man's nose cover. I see objects stretching. >Just a funny thing to add in. At some point here I went to take a piss and I looked down, I saw the toilet slanted af, it was very difficult to trust that I'm aiming properly in the toiler because I was getting so much pulsing tracers moving the toilet and not letting see a solid bowl that doesn't move that I can aim into. I look at my belly and I feel like a small vulnerable creature, extremely small and vulnerable. I look at my penis and its really fuckin small. I'm just like "Damn really?". I was thinking about things with in regards to exploring my sexuality, making me feel vulnerable as fuck, and I was like, "I am not thinking about this right now." Later... 3h17min >Around here I end up throwing my entire trip. I fucked up by having someone message me over some stupid thing that I was selling and the dude wouldn't stop bothering me for it. But what ended up happening is that became my entire reality. I felt like my strings were being pulled like I was a marionette doll. Like my consciousness was being wrapped down in vines. It snowballed and became such a huge thing so fast. My body was tense and stressed. I was deep in the quicksand, deep in the mud, deep in the tar, 6 feet under. I was super frustrated that this threw me off so much. >So this was a great learning experience in learning how to control and manage a trip going sour. I changed my environment, I walked into different rooms, etc. I managed to deal with it while on acid, and resolved the issue by letting go of the buyer, transferring the 10 bucks back, blah blah blah. Haha not fucking worth the 10 bucks. Jesus Christ. >Reality was trying to give me a warning shot. To make sure that I have EVERYTHING under control for future trips I video call @Aaron p , and he's lobotomized on 300mcg of LSD. I end up laughing so much at his inability to formulate sentences that I literally fall out of my chair and start to roll on the floor laughing. Aaron is on YouTube watching Ali g skits. "Bro let's play rocket league." I laughed so much I managed to save myself from the trip. Completely shifted the mood. Thanks Aaron. The only thing that exists is what's in your direct Consciousness. Everything else is maps, of what you think exist. Second order reality, doesn't exist right now. >I need to understand what Leo means exactly when he says first order reality and second order reality. >My vision becomes blurry, especially my left eye, it's like my eyes stop working properly. I put on my prescription sunglasses to sharpen my vision. I stare at my hand, and I experience magnification on my hand, I see the cracks in my knuckles in my skin. I see every fine little detail, it becomes HD, then 4k, then 8k. Then I see another hand in the completely opposite direction overlaid on my own hand. I'm gonna have my glasses available to me going forward. 5h 12 min Having trouble to sit down and focus. So distracted the whole trip. >I look at my hand, and the birthmark on my finger sneaked around to the other side. >I look at my curtain with a pattern flower design on it and the patters start to break apart and move in all directions along the curtain. First order reality, second order reality The difference between them is a spectrum. > Your first order reality bubble renders in from your second order reality map (?) I still don't understand the difference between first order reality and second-order reality. If I learn a million things about God, I'll be able to find God himself. > Basically describing my insight on how doing all of this consciousness work eventually adds up to enlightenment. I understand that my reality is constructed by stories. 6h When I'm selfish I suffer. What you haven't let go will cause a bigger snowball down the road. If I let go of everything I will do nothing. ---------- Earplugs help a lot with Consciousness work. And they help a lot with an LSD trip. Transformation visuals. The ceiling fan was stretching, moving, shrinking. All of my attachments are distracting me from doing Consciousness work. Having nobody to rely on me is great. Because it can get ugly when people rely on me for things that are outside of my conscious control. >Thinking about the bigger lesson of what the fuck just happened with the situation that threw off my trip earlier. Even though I ended up distracting myself away from it, it ended up lingering for me for the rest of the trip. I was out of the tar pit but I still had the tar on me. LSD is more focussed than psilocybin BUT, you still have to focus. LSD is very distracting. >You're in the drivers street but you have to still drive a bus with only two wheels on it. I think I understand what vision logic is. Vision logic is my Consciousness's way of understanding reality beyond words, but through images. Life is the biggest drama movie. The happiest man is the one who can surf all the waves at once. Becoming more conscious, taking care of your survival, taking care of your desire for relationships, taking care of your desire for sex. >Surfing all of the waves, integrating it all. Becoming the centaur. For a self to have a purpose, that is a construct that is created out of the construct of the self. The self is a construct. A purpose is a construct. As long as you believe you exist you will believe that you have a purpose. Purpose hinges on the construct of the self. Your purpose hinges on the fact that you exist. And that "fact" itself IS a construct. Everything needs to be controlled to have a good LSD trip. You can't have anybody messaging you about anything. That WILL throw your entire trip off. Even if your phone is on do not disturb. If it enters your consciousness, it will infect it totally. In TOTAL. A TOTAL INFECTION into your consciousness. When there's nothing to do, you just sit and bask with yourself, forever. At some point, I was having a small intuition into how reality transforming a psychedelic trip can have. How it's more total than you think. Sharing experience is what motivates. Share my struggle to motivate other people. The Paradox of showing my struggle to motivate other people through their struggle. And me doing that is what gets me out of my struggle. (Being a self-improvement teacher. I need to be friends with people running their own business to understand what I need to do to get my business. >I need to just understand the exact monetization steps to set up a website and to setup a product you can check out, learn how to run a well-targeted ad. Learning that will take the barriers away from getting my business of the ground. An insight is the ability to articulate something out of the confusion. Something out of the confusion WHILE in the LSD trip. I saw how man evolves their language to understand what's going on. I must evolve my language to understand what's going on. I need to build an existential vocabulary. Look at Leo's episode for that. Understand all the words he lists and the combination of knowing them all will increase your consciousness. Could you hypnotize yourself into understanding God? Make steps such that everything that enters my consciousness is aiding towards increasing my consciousness. >Proper environment design. Only making the right choices to do the right things. Does the past exist? Like evolution to get us here? is that second order reality? I'm glad I did shrooms first. I get EVERY visual on LSD. So working myself up to a moderate dose of shrooms helped prepare me massively for this trip. Because as Leo says understanding that your God is merely just a process of opening the mind. I understand that now. - Listen to Leo's guided exercise to realizing you're God audio while on LSD. A high Consciousness person is able to understand all of the constructs operating in his mind. But he keeps them there to aid in his survival. A super conscious person dies, but the physical brain and body being rigid will keep your body alive. I'm becoming conscious of several reality constructs. I can see with more trips and on substances like 5meo, how all of these constructs will fall away. You need to find out what works for you when tripping. Psychedelics wipe your context. Your context is what you ground your reality in. Leo needs a video on context itself. Does he have one? Not the recontextualization episode. Talking about how your reality is grounded in context. Yawning is a sign of something shifting in your brain. Which is why you yawn when the psychedelic is activating. Business idea Family stories catalog where tv shows can pick from them and put them in their skits for their sitcoms and whatnot. Like a steam asset store for writing stories for your tv shows. Hide my phone while tripping. Or turn off all notifications that could possibly fuck with my trip, such that I can't even SEE the messages when I look at the top pulldown tab. Then turn it all back on after my trip ends the next day. so write down somewhere all the things I've blocked. Or just hide my phone and just use my laptop on the wifi. You need a few gurus 1. Conscious as fuck for increasing your consciousness, create a map of reality so you can navigate in it. 2. School of hard knocks so you can get to work taking care of your survival needs. 3. Therapist, love, makes you feel good For example 1. Leo 2. Gary Vee / Alex Becker 3. Ralph Smart / Wayne Dyer You need multiple different perspective sources for your learning and benifit. I experienced tons of stories and scenarios throughout the entire trip. Which is why earlier I said each space feels like its own room. I'm going to start thinking about how my present actions will snowball into the future. Even the small things. I learned just how much your mind creates scenarios. And how much it takes over your emotions and how it feels. That's what's swimming around in your subconscious all day. And that will bubble up to the surface and ruin your life. Trip Recap Best insights and experiences My experience of "Raw Reality" To do Build my existential Vocabulary, Use Leos video! Learn each technical step to monetize my products. To do next time when tripping Control my environment when it comes to what can come through on my phone. Have my glasses available. Do what works. Listen to Leos guided exercise on realizing you're God. Listen to Leos guided exercise on understanding infinity. Listen to Leo's episode on why brains don't exist. Try to play voice recordings of my intentions to myself, and listen to that, and see what results I get from that. Additional things I've learned I need to think about how all of my actions, especially the selfish ones. How they could snowball. I learned how your mind creates these stories and scenarios, and it's not even reality, it's all fiction and made up. You need to massively control your environment for an LSD trip. What I got was a warning shot, so for next time I don't make the same mistake. I learned just how sensitive and influenceable you are on psychedelics. How sensitive I am to psychedelics, with the amount of visuals I got on just half a tab. I learned how much LSD wipes your context that grounds you in reality. How your reality is just grounded in context. I learned that there is something very mysterious about reality lurking around the corner, and I can't wait to find it again! Questions I have What exactly is first order reality and second order reality? Where can I read more about this? Does Leo have a video on context? Other than recontextualization? When I talked about "Raw reality", What was that?

Just read the following article on the subject of accessing an intelligence that's far deeper than that of the thinking mind and thought it was very good, so figured I'd share it here for other like-minded people (it's by a spiritual teacher called Amoda Maa Jeevan, who still appears to be relatively obscure, but I think her teachings on spiritual transformation are excellent): A Deeper Intelligence A list of all her articles can be found here (I thought this one on emptying your vessel was also very good).