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You are god in the sense that what you really are is the infinite reality that exists and manifests, but you are not in the sense that the self that is perceived as the center of experience and that questions whether others exist, It is a transitory creation that dissolves into nothingness. It's very easy to get confused. very difficult to understand the subtle difference, how the experience is created. You have to dissolve yourself totally many times to start to have a glimpse

Here I am again angry at myself because 10min ago I was in a very weird nothingness place now im back to normal egoic consciousness like they call. I´m so tired of going back and forth from mystical to cotidian life. Is so frustrating for us, for people that haven't seen the other side they don't know what they are missing. We know what we are missing, which makes it very frustrating. And when people ask for guidance Everyone just answers with bullshit replies such as 'don't worry you are god you are choosing to be limited' and more crap like that.

Let's just say....the best grounding is nothing. If you ever find yourself in a hellish experience, you can ground yourself in nothingness. I don't disagree with anything you have said thus far because you have spoken truth obviously. But let's just say the point is to stop ourselves from falling too deep in the dream. It is wonderful to know that the safety valve is NOTHING. LOL, sounds so stupid to say considering what humans actually think nothing is.

@Vibroverse Yes. When I follow the guidance of my heart, I see life where I saw death before. And I see hate as a lack of love. I see lies and fear where there is no courage for truth. There are no problems if you stay true to your heart. @Razard86 Yes. We are no one going anywhere. But we (the supreme "I") co-create this realm to have full human experience. To create any experience, you need a ruleset. A framework. Points of reference. If you find your original state of pure nothingness as the ultimate value, go back to it via some maha samadhi and why bother?

Thoughts actually don't just "arise" out of nothingness. They are activated and flavored by shifts in the contrast between our inter-connections that occur as things move/change inside us and outside us. We have a narrative system that is hooked into or superimposed onto our level of flow that automates the pace of internal chitter-chatter and maintains a given degree of immersion plus a given degree of populated conscious activity. When people meditate and try to hold "nothingness" or an empty mind or whatever, they are in essence trying to slow/calm that flow and create a short-lived vacuum or pocket of thoughtlessness (among other things, there are many different kinds of meditation, which is really just practice of some flavor of applied focus). And of course when that vacuum releases, the thoughts come back, whether the vacuum was released willfully, or a shift in our body caused the automatic release. The release of the vacuum is a shift event in and of itself which is an emotionally competent stimulus that will trigger thought narratives and influence how they "appear" to manifest. We can't get caught up in that single shift and tunnel-vision to the point, where that is the only reference from which we draw conclusions. There is way more there to explore and way more we have to develop to even have proper access to those avenues of exploration. So people make the mistake of jumping to the conclusion that thoughts arise from this vacuum because they haven't sensitized themselves to the bodily shifts, nor have they developed the tensile resiliency or traction to deal with how those shifts effect our cognitive recollection of the actual experience. They don't account for or properly attribute how the vacuum state influenced the mixture, which flavored the trigger of thought as it preceded, much like people fail to attribute or account for the weight or influence of observation having an effect on the collapse of a wave function when conducting science expirements. In that fraction of a second where things shift, there is a shit load of things going on that are fast as hell, and more subtle then a whisper on the wind. Not to be melodramatic or anything, but internal transitions are hard as hell to gain a clear picture on, because every move you make in response to a transition influences the transition, which influences you on every level from cognition to immersion to emotion and everything else. We're trying to bring some kind of clarity to an ever-changing mixture that we are a part of and are influenced by at all times, which takes a lot of time and a lot of development to be able to create requisite levels of a kind of meta superposition to be even able to accomplish. And instead of doing all that, or even knowing to do all that, people just stick with the idea, that thoughts arise out of nothingness, because that's all their feel for things can tell them at the time and so they miss out on the potential for more. We have to be more humble than that and buy less into this false certainty "that this is all there is". This is where the uncertainty principle comes in handy as a protection against false certainty. In essence, beware a conclusion that leaves you no access to further potentialities, because a conclusion that absolute is a false and flawed one. Our view of life and ourselves does not have to be that primitive, nor so extreme and divorced from the nuances of reality. Generally speaking, I wish people would remind themselves that they don't have to approach the question of free will in a binary way. We are a dynamic mixture of automation and free will superimposed on top of each other and the dance of that mixture plays out, in more than a single step. We automatically activate, then consciously calibrate, then automatically activate in response to that conscious calibration, which we then consciously calibrate again as we make choices. It is a dance with overlapping or slightly superimposed steps of automated activation and conscious balancing/calibration via choice with mutual avenues for inter-influence that compounds over time in a hopefully constructive way. The degree of depth, and the determination of which is the dominant or secondary force, driving the dance changes depending on the person and their unique context in a given moment. Distinct, but seamless and the degree of difference in what people might create from such a dance staggering.

This is something "ME" wrote 2 or 3 years ago and has since been modified to the current "ME"! It helped "ME" tap into the Unknown "ME" The "ME" that can play with infinite "MEs" lol...... I struggled with the “I” and "I AM" But after having one of several Aya DMT trips, I substituted it with “ME” The more aware and expanded “Me” became, the more difficult it was for "Me" to use words to describe awareness and knowingness. It’s like the words “Nothingness and Somethingness”. I struggled for years with these words after experiencing a state of no-thought, no-form, no-universe, no-nothingness and no-somethingness during my second Aya experience back in 2017, and yet, I was aware of a “Me”-ness a Knowingness beyond sensations and thought. Some people use the word Absolute God Consciousness to express nothingness, somethingness, love, oneness, void, etc. But I struggled with the word “God”. Perhaps because of the dogmas that are associated with those three combined letters, and what the "I AM" was subconsciously attached deep within EGO ingrained beliefs and emotions. “Me” has since found the words “All-That-Is”, which for “Me” best describes the word God and the words Nothingness, somethingness, love, etc. which also points to the state of awareness that cannot be defined, explained, or touched with singular thought, patterns of thoughts or with concepts! "All-That-IS" is also a concept! And can only point to "ME"!!!! “Me” is just “ME” “ME” is Absolute Freedom! And yes, "Freedom" is also a concept! Lol.......

I keep hearing all these words and I get confused. Could somebody define all these for me? And link them all up together and how they relate to each other, growth, the world, life, and everything else? Is consciousness the same as awareness? Is consciousness actually nothingness? The Truth is you are nothing and everything they say. Some teachers say you are empty awareness, some say you are nothing, are they the same? They call it God and absolute infinity and all kinds of shit. Can somebody just explain all these words and the concepts and ideas behind them? I would like a big picture understanding of how these all link up together. Thanks

I am sure some of you may have had a experience of being nothingness, right? That highly alive, solid emptyness. That stretches out to infinity? Right? That is the true nature of consciousness, of being. if you're sincere & commit to truth, you will probably have this nothingness show itself at some point. After a while of going in and out of this nothingness, the belief of the self will dissolve more & more as each awakening convinces that there is nothing here. And nothing to come back to. Nothingness/being is what you specifically are! And everyone else is insane and living in the dream of being human, and all the stuff that goes with that. Truth is now to be embodied, this is what Masters all do of course. They became walking manifestation of truth and being. Ask your self what do you want? Do you want a enlightenment experience or are you willing to throw yourself in the fire of the absolute?

Yes. It’s just something I noticed when I embarked on this journey. I wasn’t following anyone or reading anything when I tried to figure out a way how to discern what was true and ended up having a spontaneous mystical experience where the whole of reality dissolved and there was nothing left except a dim awareness… which was nothing, nowhere, no time etc. shot back into reality in shock as an atheistic science fanboy having stared infinity in the face recognising it as god and me simultaneously and freaking out. I Tried to figure out what happened and came across an actualised video talking about neti neti meditation that sounded like what I had just done. I took it further by getting comfortable then with psychedelics and discovered the consciousness part during my first ever cannabis ceremony. The facilitator said I was the first person he ever had collapse unconscious but for me it was straight back to the infinity ‘non’ space of dim awareness and I became the thing I was trying to understand. I had to pull myself from that awareness and focus myself into a mind ( some form of mental mechanism with an order to it) but it itself was also infinite. An infinity pulled from infinity almost like two sides of a mirror. One infinity or darkness, nothingness, awareness looking out and the other infinity a mind projecting mental forms, dreams, imaginings reflecting back at itself to discover itself as something as opposed to nothing. I had to focus my mind, consciousness and create structured forms and narratives to recreate the reality I just dissolved or I was not getting back in there. I essentially imagined myself back into a human and became aware of how I was doing it. I became aware of how god imagines things into being including ideas, thoughts, coherent thoughts and linear thoughts to perceive linear moments or ordered time. I was creating it as I was focusing it with thoughts. To hold it within my consciousness I had to believe it was real. I had to deceive myself into believing I was a human and forgetting what I really was and suddenly remembered how I got into this mess 🤦‍♂️. I did it to myself. that’s where I understand Leo’s description of infinite consciousness or the exploration of the mind of god that on the reflective side of the mirror (symbolic description) there is an endless exploration of consciousness, forms, realms, realities, states of consciousness etc etc which is what you get if you go beyond bog standard awakening or enlightenment ( taking that to mean the discovery of the infinite nothing void that is the truest fundamental). coming back a little bit within that awareness void is where consciousness resides. Having become familiar with the placebo tool belief, I’ve been able to shift realities at night while going down into subconscious states so I can explore. strangely I find it easier to explore consciousness this way than with psychedelics. Psychedelics dissolve me too much and bring me to abstract realms where all the exploration and understanding is imageless and formless. I prefer being able to construct ordered realities so I can explore them. I do go into psychedelic like spaces from time to time including 5MeO space but it’s rare and I do psychedelics when I find myself getting rigidly attached to beliefs about this world just to release myself again. it’s wonderful but no one around here ( where I live or even the integration groups from the ceremonies) really understands. This forum helps as there are those who have experienced that and I recognise the same experiences even if they are described differently. so yeah I’m a perception within consciousness and all narratives consciousness conjures up about its forms or existence on this side of the mirror are a way of justifying their existence as real, dissecting them and creating ever deeper stories about them is consciousness expanding itself out, separating itself into more and more ‘things’, decentrating itself…another deception because consciousness itself is still an occurrence within awareness. To get back to awareness it concentrates back to single pointedness or singularity. shit!….. sorry im just after having a small god realisation sitting here. It comes and goes 🤣

I really think that my life is nothing. So I wanna take a university course again. No matter how I age. Or I just wasn't doing anything with my life. Like right now, I'm struggling everyday with nothingness. With nothing to do. I woke up. And wonder what I'll do. Killing time. I'm really am doing nothing. I wish I would have a really productive day. And feel really sleepy at night. While now I'm always wide awake. Not really sleepy either.

Fear is the inherent fear of being a human, it is what keeps you now in a mental capsule, grasping everything with your mind creating an illusion of security and control. Now you are floating in infinity, and you know nothing, there is nothing to hold on to. This, now, is eternity. You can open yourself to it right now, it is the total glory of existence, the unfathomable depth. You just have to let your mind fall into nothingness. It is not stopping thinking, it is letting down the one who wants to stop thinking.

Reality is nothing. And you could say in a sense that nothingness is “unstable”. It’s so nothing that it immediately has to inflate into everything possible. Reality is nothingness inverted or turned inside out so to speak into everythingness.

@Dodo Consciousness=existence is held true in some traditions, like Advaita, in others not. But why give any concept, existence or consciousness or bliss or nothingness or brahman, a privileged position in relation to absolute truth? (Not a leading question, I don't have a good answer!)

@Dodo But why equate existence with absolute truth? Why not nothingness? Or consciousness or spirit or brahman? Why does existence get such a privileged position?

Just finished listening to this, it's amazing. Here's a few of my favorite excerpts "A huge part of psychological health is realizing that when I die, life doesn't end. My life in this form ends, but life continues. I get to be here, part of this whole game of life for a little while, and like what a fucking miracle that there's experience as opposed to no experience. There could just be nothing. As soon as I realized like, I got to see a tree, I got to see a sunset, I got to see color, I got to hear sound, as opposed to just nothingness … the mindset of "what's in it for me I need more" is a fucking mental illness. The realization that existence exists and I'm apart of it for a little while is awakeness, and then I would totally choose to incarnate just to have experience at all, even a little bit of it as opposed to nothing. " "Before, when I reflected on last year, what do I do this year, what to do this coming year on January 1st, etc., whatever it is, I'm always reflecting in light of thinking I can do it over differently next year. When people are on their deathbed, that doesn't happen. There's a deeper type of reflection. I've been on so many death beds with people, Daniel's parents were awesome to take him to assisted living homes and could have that experience. He's never met old people who spent their time wishing they had fixed themselves more and their "if I could do it over again" wasn't a narcissistic focus. That just never happened. What was really meaningful was always the ways they express love to people and the ways they offered things. It will outlast them and the ways that they appreciated life. "

It begs the question why even manifest reality at all. Everyone would benefit from nothingness existing for eternity.

All of these are mental structures that occur within the sleeping state. The first step awakening is to realize that it is the same thing to say I am God or I want to fuck my cousin. They are mental structures, they are within the structure that is the human psyche, something that it seems that no one here understands. awakening is leaving the human psyche. This is extremely difficult, because there is not someone above who wants to get out of the human psyche, but it is the human psyche itself that wants to get out of itself. It is a labyrinth, the door without a door. then the human psyche creates false exits, like I am god, others do not exist, or any other story. Awakening is much more difficult, very intelligent and courageous people have been trying for 8000 years, and few have achieved it. Now with psychedelics, less intelligent and less courageous guys can achieve it, but you have to be quite intelligent and have enough courage. intelligent to not fall into those silly traps, brave to be able to dissolve the self into nothingness, to jump without a safety net. Awakening is the real thing, not an idea.

Im not learning from Leo, I already told you before that I am not interested in written or oral spirituality, since all of these are structures that are of no use to me, for me all of that is toxic. The only spirituality is the reality now, free of structures and obstacles. It is a fairly long path in which you have to release all your energy blockages created by the fear inherent to the human condition, and be able to open the human mind as if it were a plant closed in on itself that opens completely. Psychedelics and meditation are a tool but not a guarantee, no one can do this for you, only you can do it. You can use psychedelics to help, but the action of opening yourself completely to the now, without barriers, can only be done by you, and to do so you must let yourself fall into nothingness. It is difficult, the will must be unequivocal. If it is not, you can make 1 kg of 5meo which will not work. I have done that total opening many times, and I have tried many others with partial openings that lead to confusion. Real mysticism is subtle and the traps are many. I would say that any structure, certainty of knowing something, means that you have fallen into a trap

Well, I do like talking about myself God where to begin. I don't really wanna type up a book. PM me and we can talk over the phone. You can't put your awakenings into one post. I'd like to hear about yours too. I will suffice it to say that no self is enlightenment. The realization of no self. The next for me was nothingness. That crushed me. The next was Infinity. This was beautiful- but so powerful it exploded my body. The last was total Oneness. This is synonymous with Aloneness.

Those two statements are solipsism, and I think that they are two ideas that have no relation to awakening, and that are also not true. I am God imagining reality: This means that I am something: God. and that I am is performing an action, which is projecting mental images, a dream, and this dream is the result of the action. So if I stop dreaming, reality would disappear, but I, God, would remain. So I God would be reality? And what is that god exactly? I tell you what it is: it is the ego. The second statement: there is nothing outside your direct experience, implies that reality is limited to your current experience. not only impossible to know but irrelevant. Awakening is not knowing those things, but opening yourself to what reality is. The configuration of reality creates the self, the center, container of experience, which you confuse with a god who creates something. Reality is unlimited and therefore there is no real center, there is no i that can claim to be god. The only illusion there is the sensation of a self. To truly open yourself to the now you must let the self fall into nothingness, that is, dissolve the illusion of a center, and to do so, among other things, abandon the need to understand. To know that there are no others or that you are God is to understand, it is self. If you drop the serf, reality is revealed as unfathomable depth, living existence without limit. This existence is not one, it is not two, it is the infinite without center. absolute horror for the ego, which is why it is difficult to do it. reality is one, it is a realization that only the self can make, and therefore it is not real. Reality is truly indefinable, completely. Any definition is within existence, and therefore is limited, useless and false. The only awakening is the opening now to total existence. Doing this for more than a few moments is difficult, it is like putting two magnets with the same pole together, they tend to move apart, to become two again. It is a very subtle art. The opening I had two days ago for example was complete, but it is not something that can be defined, nor really remembered, since it is a memory that is not that. Any memory needs structure, and awakening is without structure. The ego does not like this, and tries strategies, such as solipsism, I am God, this is exactly like that, I am dreaming, etc. All that means nothing, grips for the mind

@Princess Arabia I had to laugh out loud while reading this... these conceptual crazy trains of thoughts about thoughts are an absolute marvel of absurdity, lol! And of course, I am not talking about this train of thought specifically, but about conceptual thinking in general. It's ability to complicate the most simple thing in existence is truly an amazing sight to behold... Sure, if you don't turn a thing into a concept, it becomes (or rather stays) everything. But then it's no longer a thing! It's not 'consciousness', it's not 'you', it's not 'me'... it just IS. Isness itself, so to speak. Which is impersonal, formless, without quality, can neither be observed or be observing. So pure Isness itself is not an experience, because there is nothing about it to experience, you see? You cannot even call it 'nothingness', because even nothingness is 'something' aka. a concept. And guess what... 'pure Isness itself' IS OF COURSE A CONCEPT TOO, which makes everything I just said null and void. Muuuahahaha... Well, take a guess what 'the mind' is. Hint: It starts with a C... and no, I am not talking about the four letter word. Can a concept conceive another concept? Ponder that, if you got nothing better to do for the next thirty minutes.

In my experience, Oneness = Love. Feels incredibly good and brutally blissful, but there seems to be an even higher place: Absolute Nothing, "no center", as @Breakingthewall says If Love/Oneness feels like Blissful unity, Nothingness feels like an explosion of empty Ecstasy. I've only touched seconds of that state of consciousness in my lifetime but they are worth decades of suffering of how it feels. And please of course let's not confuse the nothing I talk about with the advaita nothingness. The nothingness I talk about is something beyond freedom. Is an explosion of Ecstasy due to the fact of no center or self at all exists. Is pure flow of Nothing, completely empty, in all directions. Reality at this point is not "Real" or Alive. Is just Ectsay in all directions. Pd: Probably this is how it feels to be "dead". (You become Energy free from a body, and lose the imaginary self-consciousness center that existed when you had a body)

@Water by the RiverRiver6RiverRiver6RiverRiver6RiverR That nothingness you speak of is, obviously, something, or better, everything. nothing in the sense of absence of structures. I think that in the end the matter is simple (although not easy): all structures must fall. Doing this is extremely difficult, but not a miracle reserved for mystical saints, anyone who understands what the structures are can do it. It looks scary, but that's completely stupid. It's like a guy on top of a skyscraper looking out the window who can't stop holding on to a handhold. He can let it go, he will stay the same, in the same place. It is a practical exercise, an action that is carried out. For our specific case, rather than letting go of a handle, we have to let go of the self, and the self is really the perception that we are the center, the recipient of the experience. It is difficult to do this because really throughout our lives every movement, perception, sensation, leads to this feeling of center. The way to do it is the will to open, which is in some way the opposite of the will to hoard experience. generosity vs greed. That is why any greed, like the need to interpret, closes, brings back the self, which is like a steel door planted in the middle of experience, a black hole that absorbs all perception. From my experience I can say that it is getting easier (although difficult) since the freedom that is given is total, so the psyche gets used. It becomes obvious that it is reality, what the absence of limits causes: the source of existence, life flowing from the abyss of the infinite. What it is about is making a shift from the perspective of form to the unlimited perspective, which is the truly real one, and more that a perspective is to become that. It is extremely difficult to keep that open for more than 1 or 2 minutes, since at the same moment that the mind tries to interpret, the door closes. but that is the reality now, no other. the infinite flowing without limit. The beauty of this is total, the structured human perspective is still attractive, but only if the infinite is constantly transparent, and for this we must lighten the mind, remove all the density. Regarding the typical : you are God creating reality, well...I would say that that is a misunderstanding, it's the openess that happens with psychedelics without the act of let go the self, so the self perceives itself as God. but I can't say for sure. What I see (speculating a bit) is that reality is impersonal, it is a like a flow, and this flow given the absence of limits manifests as life and intelligence without limit, and this gives rise to cycles, to structures that are created and dissolved cyclically, with no one behind creating them. . Reality organizes itself in the cosmic cycle, which is like a dance of beauty that always points towards more complexity because it really wants to be, it rejoices in its dance. You can call this god, but it is so impersonal that the word god does not fit. It's not a god doing things, it's the nature of reality, a natural phenomenon. although as I already said my opening times are brief. but a second is a long time if the aperture is wide There are many layers, it's not just silence, it's openess. You could be in silence and closed and with some frequency of thought and open.

With the energetic practices/meditation that you describe one can generate states that are awakened and boundless/nondual. But as soon as the energetic practice stops, the separate-self Gestalt/structure "kills" the nondual boundless blissful state when it comes back after practice. One can literally feel it contract back in the head. Its like applying medicine to a disease. Relieves the symptoms, but not the source problem (separate-self contraction. Literally contraction, creating contraction/location/center in the head and body). There are practices that dissolve the separate-self-contraction directly (the root-cause, or the source problem, and not just its symptoms, no nonduality and lacking bliss), in a way that the whole flow of I-thoughts/I-feelings is cut off in real time fast enough (Trekchö in Dzogchen for example, certain Mahamudra practices), That (dissolving all me-thoughts/concepts and -feelings) fast enough in real time (needs a lot of training) then leads to dissolving the sensation of being centered in the body (the contractions and localizations), and also leads to "hard" nondual/infinite Awakened states (then also off the pillow in daily life), including the "solidity" of the "outher" world being replaced by mere lucid appearance hovering in infinite Nothingness/Reality/Ones True Self as expressions of it, "seeing itself". Without these two shifts towards truly nondual awakened states (loss of center and mere appearance instead of solid external world), most of the talk/writing about it is just wishful thinking and conceptual speculation. It is not just thinking differently, these are "hard" awakened states. Only in these awakened states can the real state of Reality be realized, and the separate self slowly dissolved. Without these hard awakened nondual states, there is only illusion/duality/separate-self, and no chance to really realize what the underlying nondual Reality beyond the illusion/ignorance really is. I have the impression that is an important point for you, since you are among the rather few that actually practice and not just engage in conceptual speculation, but in generating these awakened states. And I agree fully on that. I have written extensively about these practices of Dzogchen/Mahamudra. If that is done proficient & fast enough, the mechanism of creating a separate-self and a localization & center stops, and one has these awakened boundless/nondual/infinite states of Infinite Nondual Consciousness in daily life when getting up from the pillow. I can confirm this from my own practice. It is too good to be true. Yet, it is true, and at that stage of practice always available. From that basis and in these states, one can dissolve the last remnants of the separate self contractions/localizations/lenses of perception in the burning of ones own infinite and impersonal True Being. The contractions that were the separate-self/ego melt like ice in the sun. I can only invite to try these techniques. In my experience, they are way superior to any standard concentration/energetic sitting meditation/practice. Exactly because it attacks the root-cause, and opens up Awakened Nonduality States in daily life. Mahamudra uses extensively concentrative sitting-meditation and energetic practices (Tummo for example) in the beginning, but goes beyond it as soon as possible. Off the pillow. Water by the River Here a description of the practice system I mainly used: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/92467-god-fucking-damn-it-another-meditation-rant-thread/?do=findComment&comment=1309816

Yes. At the Absolute, all dualities/pointers/words fail. Realizing by BEING the Infinite/Nothingness/Totality and dropping the clouds/ignorance of false separate-self totally. So one can approach IT from both "sides": Nothing-Ness/Infinite or Infinity/Everything. IT is both Nothing(-ness) and everything/Infinity. See below (from the same link), marked in green. And the most important parts are: 1) "In Nothingness, there is some degree of awareness present—it is not how most people imagine brain death—albeit unconditioned, object- and subjectless. The Consciousness (for lack of a better word) of Non-being is so subtle that the moment we try to reflect upon it to check if we are conscious, we are jarred back into ‘being’ and into our ordinary dualistic consciousness. I hesitate even to call this experience “pure subjectivity,” for that invites a metaphysical position that I am not willing to support." That part is the problem in all Psychedelic Awakenings I have seen so far (projecting separate-something on IT, creating "facets", or "I" am God). Not to even talk about all the endearing conceptual (non-awakening) solipsistic speculations and projections. and 2) "Personally, I think that differentiating between Nothingness and consciousness is helpful, and that is my ultimate goal—to help people realize Non-being or Absolute Consciousness. At that point, I can care less whether people call it Nothingness, God, Brahman, Buddha Nature, One Mind, Universal Consciousness, or a kangaroo." and here the green markings in the post: