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Today i had a mushroom trip (30g fresh). While having the full-blown experience , everything became quite crystal clear (God - nonduality). But at some point my ego was trying to control God in some very delusional ways. At some point my ego-mind believed that it could will reality. I even felt like i was about to actually become Leo at some point. After the trip i felt very empty, disheartened like i don't know nothing anymore. All the answers i had while tripping seemed to melt away after the trip. It's like the trip did nothing to me other than create an emotional distress afterwards. I felt bad emotions after the trip because in the back of my mind i feel like i was deluding myself while tripping. I really don't know if i will trip again on this dose of mushrooms again... Sometimes it's like i don't accomplish anything while tripping. While tripping everything seems great and Profound but after trip is over your mind isn't quite so sure what the heck happened and you feel bad for deluding yourself in some ways. Also i've noticed that after a trip i am more prone to dysfunctional old patterns of mine based on fear. I don't know why. It's like my ego gets shaken very violently while tripping.. And doesn't know how to react after the trip is over.

@modmyth My dad is more of the rationalist type while my mom is rather religious. Even though my mom is religious and is Hindu, she has a I guess more traditional/ surface level view of Hinduism (I say surface level because her worship doesn't include things regarding nonduality and traditions of that sort). My dad is kind of open to things like karma, past lives and things of that nature mainly because of where he grew up. But even then, if I start talking about oneness and things of that nature, I'm pretty sure I'd be labeled as one of the crazy hippy types. I consider myself fairly open to new agey concepts. Even when I take things with a grain of salt, there is still this sense of intrigue when it comes to mystical topics and experiences. I personally don't have experiences with anything paranormal but I guess the closest thing I dealt with is sleep paralysis but I'm pretty sure there is a scientific explanation for that (as in my mind is half awake and is playing tricks on me in a partially dreamlike state) and it's not just demons. There is this book that I read recently called Extraordinary Knowing by Elizabeth Mayer and it talks about people's intuition, clairvoyance, ESP, and other paranormal phenomenon can be explained if you view everything as being connected and based in consciousness rather than materialism. It also talks about some of the epistemic issues with science and rationality and how deviations shouldn't be just thrown out as a statistical anomaly or error rather it needs to be looked at further. I find the whole hippie revolution really interesting especially when it comes to how people in India and Bangladesh saw it at the time. My dad was a teenager in the mid 70s and so he remembers the narrative behind all of this. People over there saw hippies as crazy rich white people doing crazy white people things. The general perception was that they were rich, gave up their wealth, and now sit around doing drugs and avoid showers. But when it comes to the Beetles specifically, a lot of older Bangladeshi people have a really positive view of them because the Beetles raised a lot of money for humanitarian efforts during the 1971 Liberation War when Bangladesh (then East Pakistan) fought for their independence from Pakistan. The money was used to help refugees from the war as well as raise awareness for the atrocities that were happening in that region. Because there wasn't much of a South Asian population in the U.S. during the 70s, there wasn't much of a collective backlash or outrage because the people who would be outraged simply weren't present. But if something like the hippie revolution happened today, I'm sure it would be surrounded by a bunch of people talking about cultural appropriation. I wonder what it would've been like being a brown person back then but I don't know anyone near me who was in the U.S. during that time. The people I know who immigrated to the U.S. mainly came in the 90s and early 2000s.

Coming Out as a "Spiritual" Person Recently I realized that one of the blockages I have in the way of showing up as my most authentic self is the shame I have surrounding my interest in self improvement and spirituality. I came up with a bunch of reasons as to why that is so in order to reflect and get off my chest. Fear of being irrational: As someone who has been into new agey topics and self improvement for the last few years, I have come across my fair share of craziness and I have encountered a lot of questionable things in the self help industry. And I'm afraid of being associated with that if I come out and say that I'm into spirituality or self development. I don't want people to automatically assume that I'm some type of irrational crazy crystal person. Nothing wrong with collecting crystals but I'm just talking about how mainstream society views people like that. I don't want to be associated with the Tony Robbins or Tai Lopez types. I feel that new age spirituality and self development has a lot to offer but that stuff gets clouded by a lot of pseudoscience and I'm afraid to be associated with the pseudoscientific side of things. Being a caricature of brown people: I have noticed that white people have a very limited view of what South Asia is like. Without getting too into that whole can of worms, I want to mainly underscore how white people see South Asia as this birth place of spirituality and how it's like their self actualization play ground. Think about the eat pray love types who go into the slums of India and are like wOW looK aT HOw HapPY tHEy arE eVEn ThouGH tHeY haVE SO littLE. They take their "spiritual awakening" and then they go back to their cushy lives. And there is a part of me that is scared of being lumped into the stereotype of the spiritual mystical brown person. I'd say the history of white people appropriating eastern culture during the hippie revolution in the 70s has a part in this. Fear of looking crazy: This is similar to the fear of being irrational but I'd put this on it's own separate category. I'm scared of looking crazy when I talk about my insights or my experiences especially if they have to do with the law of attraction or how connected everything is. I feel like people won't get it and then I'll look like some type of space cadet with a tin foil hat. Then there are just somethings that I'm into that I know aren't mainstream like spiral dynamics. I would love to talk about it but I'm afraid people won't get it or won't care to understand it because I'm not that good at explaining and because I don't think anyone would watch Leo's series on spiral dynamics (lets be real that's like 16 hours of content). It's just that the stuff that I'm into, it takes some work to figure out what it's about before really being able to discuss it. The same goes for things related to consciousness and the concept of nonduality. Fear of people thinking I'm in a cult: I really like actualized.org and I want to share with more people but I'm afraid that if I do that people would think I'm pushing a cult onto them especially with the stigma of psychedelics and the whole iM GOd rhetoric. Not saying it's true or false but if someone finds this and they don't know anything about consciousness, eastern spirituality, or nonduality, the whole thing is going to look awfully cult like. I mean, guy on drugs claiming he's god and has a whole following, sounds like a whole trope. Sometimes I feel like I have to put disclaimers up whenever I talk about these types of things. Like no I don't think you can cure cancer with essential oils, and no I don't think that everyone can pull themselves up from their bootstraps. And no, I'm not a dogmatic religious person. I feel like the reason why I was able to benefit so much from new age spirituality as well as basic self development was the way I differentiated the quality of my sources. It's not like I'm out here on a breatharian diet purchasing a bunch of get rich quick scheme courses who thinks COVID is some type of hoax. I also think I did a good job in picking out valuable pieces of advice from the harmful stuff that's out there. Of course, I have my blind spots but I try to be critical of those too. But my main thing is that I'm not going in here blind without thinking for myself.

Exactly. There must be a duality thing for it not to be that thing. It is true to say that there is nonduality and it is true to say there is duality. And it is true to say nonduality is both different and the same as duality. Yet the mind works in opposites, so it's difficult to get a handle on. Of course, that is the "no self" realization. That's not what I'm referring to. In that context, "no self" is the same as "Now", "Everything", "One", "Nothing", "Reality", "ISness", "Truth". Yet that is not the subconscious intention. Someone saying "there is no self" will not say it is the same as saying "There is ISness". The person will say "No, I mean there is no self".

Singular, not plural. Nonduality = One.

So the themes are more Christian religious, than Nonduality/Spiritualism like The Fountain was? Hmmm....doesn't sound like my jam.

An old saying comes to mind... “The checker gets what the checker checks”. The term self-love is hyphenated donating one, rather than ‘self and love’, or even self love, as in care or tending for one’s self. This would point to there not being two, similar to the term nonduality, such as there being an ‘I’ which has this confusion. When thinking love is attempted, and it is impossible, it is not per se confusion... if it’s acknowledged it’s impossible. Then it makes perfect sense... ‘what’ is one is not even a second, to any thought. One would never be able to experience a true thought, “about” oneself, or, self-love. In that ‘not two’ vein... there isn’t a self... which could be enlightened... and so there is no short cut (second ‘thing’) for no one. Awareness & ‘my autistic brain’ would be two. We love ourselves, would be two. In inspecting, if that thought feels great to you, great. If it doesn’t feel aligned & wonderful... the feeling might be the very love pointed to with thoughts and words, “right there” in, as, direct experience, so to speak. Awareness and a higher self would be two. To whatever extent words can point... notice one can never experience action toward one. One can uncover one... by inspecting thoughts... and shedding all which do not resonate, with one. As much as can be heard, the implication is outrageous. This would mean that you have never thought or heard a single true word about yourself. Literally. Love of the universe would be two. Notice, the twoness of thought and therefore of all communication and language. One forgets oneness, infinitude, by appearing as two. Yes, as in there aren’t really any, and never were “two”. Yes, The Truth. “The checker gets what the checker checks”... the “twoness” is only in thoughts. Inspect every thought. Anything known about self-love is not actually about self-love. The knower, the knowing, and the known, is apparent. As one, the knower is the known.

Ok, it's a hunger, and it's not important. Oh no, we've devolved further into romance and the 80's music. I'm powerless to stop this. Yes Eric, her boobs do look fantastic. Also fun fact most people forget, boobs make food. Eric Carmen is Cookie Monster. He's confused too. Nonduality. While I'm not paying attention watching cookie monster and boobs, the dog just ate the hot dogs. ?‍♀️ That's ironic. She plays the saxophone? What the fuck? Nice job focusing today Mandy! A++++ Aww, it's just a movie he's watching and he disappears at the end! Nice.

We are making macaroni and cheese, not going to the beach right now. I AM the BEACH just like in the Blake Shelton song. I am the WORTHY BEA-I-CH. Ok, BUT I didn't go to the beach today. But we went to all kinds of beautiful places on all kinds of beautiful days. Yes, but it's not enough. Ok, ok, I just want to go outside and look at the sky. Like the last time I was walking it was just like I lost myself in it. It's so beautiful, the clouds are always so unexpected, so breathtaking. Watchin' every motion in my foolish lover's game On this endless ocean, finally lovers know no shame Turning and returning to some secret place inside Watchin' in slow motion as you turn around and say Take my breath away Take my breath away Watchin', I keep waiting, still anticipating love Never hesitatin' to become the fated ones Turning and returning to some secret place to hide Watchin' in slow motion as you turn to me and say, my love Take my breath away Through the hourglass I saw you, in time you slipped away When the mirror crashed, I called you and turned to hear you say If only for today, I am unafraid Take my breath away Take my breath away Watchin' every motion in this foolish lover's game Haunted by the notion, somewhere there's a love in flames Turning and returning to some secret place inside Watchin' in slow motion as you turn my way and say Take my breath away My love, take my breath away My love, take my breath away My love My love, take my breath away pine (v.) Middle English pinen "cause to starve" (c. 1300), from Old English pinian "to torture, torment, afflict, cause to suffer," from *pīn (n.) "pain, torture, punishment," from a general Germanic word (compare Middle Dutch pinen, Old High German pinon, German Pein, Old Norse pina), all possibly ultimately from Latin poena "punishment, penalty" (see penal). If so, the Latin word probably came into Germanic with Christianity. The intransitive sense of "to languish, waste away, be consumed with grief or longing," the main modern meaning, is recorded from early 14c., via the Middle English intransitive senses of "endure penance, torment oneself; endure pain, suffer." Related: Pined; pining. Whoopsy daisy. pineal (adj.) 1680s, in reference to the gland in the brain, from French pinéal, literally "like a pine cone," from Latin pinea "pine cone," from pinus "pine tree" (see pine (n.)). I definitely get God, sex and nature all mixed up sometimes. Nonduality.

Life is all that there is Story of my life The storm aka life. Chaos, change, suffering. Consciousness and nothingness. Duality and nonduality, and so on and so forth.

@Someone here Roughly speaking, yes. The better pointer would be "not two", i.e. nonduality is duality and vice versa. It means zero separation, only one creator so to speak. So, a cat and your body are inside this creator... and this creator is actual you. Currently, there is focusing on thinking that you are your descriptions (e.g. 'I am a man', 'I was born', etc). Self realization reveals that you are not your descriptions, you are the whole experience that allows for descriptions to exist inside you.

@allislove well there is apparent separation.. Nonduality is hidden within duality. I'm speaking from relative perspective.

No idea who that is, but if you are God, then "you" are not, and God is not, and you are not God, nonduality, both statements simultaneously true/false. You create uncertainty and confusion by trying to figure out what "this" is, in exclusion of what it's not. Sink into the uncertainty and confusion and you find it to be the very creative power itself. Knowing is Unknowing, you cannot learn anything unless you drop the current perspective that says it "knows" and become aware/open to something entirely new. You cannot find the answer to a question if you keep asking and feeling the absence of the answer, you must be open to the answer. Otherwise you remain someone who knows that they don't know.

Hi there, I was looking for a good spiritual dating website but didn't really find any. So is there anyone who'd like to join me in creating one? Ideally with a strong interest/realization in Nonduality Regarding the number of posts in this topic I guess that most of us are very interested in dating

Infinite Mind. The lens of the finite mind. A magnifying lens makes things seem magnified, and the experience is magnification. Through the lens of the finite mind non local experiences locality, infinity experiences space, infinite intelligence experiences thoughts, infinite potentiality experiences concepts. By appearing convincingly tangible. You’re being ‘it’, to experience. Like having a dream at night and noticing you’re nowhere to be found... and realizing it’s because you’re being the dream. When the dream is over, it’s clear it was your dream. This is why awakening is called awakening. How could there be awakening if you were not first asleep? And if you are asleep, that means you’re dreaming right now. Awakening would be realizing this...real...I...is...this. Thought attachment. The thought ‘human’ is not perception, but we get accustomed to believing our thoughts literally label separate things. Like watching a movie, the actors would be talking about ‘things’, but you’d be aware the actuality of the whole of the experience, is actually the appearance of a screen. Nonduality means not two, such that there is not one thing which possesses a second thing. Mindfulness is noticing the difference. There is the thought ‘mine’, but there is no actuality of separation.

Social system dynamics Power system dynamics Asymmetry/symmetry/balance system Authority system Thoughts system Data storage system System as an organization; system as steps; system as parts; system as a bunch of codes/rules/laws Mathematics as a system College system; school system; learning system Ideology systems Computer software systems Engineering systems Ecosystem Library/internet system News systems Voting systems Sleep cycle system water/wastewater/stormwater/gas/electric system Testing systems Identity/perspective systems consciousness systems systems of different realities Industry systems - food/entertainment/hospitality/maintenance family unit as a system hierarchies as a system - in the workplace; predator and prey; young and old; weak and strong; rich and poor; small and large; simple and complex; one part within another part ranges as a system - color system, light to dark, "good to evil", unit system - numbers/metric/imperial, rankings, grades, money, qualification, standards, honors system, frat/sorority system, intermurals/varsity/jv system, challenge system, classification systems, definitions, spiral dynamics, stages, egos development, fame, age, quantity; quality level forces as a system - gravity, electromagnetic, nuclear Solid/liquid/gas system - particle properties; molecular and atomic systems; evolution system feeling systems music system/movie systems - sound systems, smell systems, sight systems time, length, velocity, acceleration, temperature, gravity, magnetism, reflection, transparency, density, mass systems water cycle, reproduction, cell division, replication, photosynthesis logistics psychology poopering lazy population immune system, defense/offense system; intelligence system duality, nonduality reliability, credit, trustworthy criminal justice system "the system" attractiveness, compatibility species naming system; periodic table system; dress code; grade levels in school; days of the week/calendars/years/minutes/seconds/hours; clocks, watches weather systems, temperature, wind, sun, humidity, moisture, fire, earthquake security system, surveillance system

The idea of being "resistant to psychedelics" interests me. Today I was reading about how some people are resistant to certain medications and therapy. It could be similar: that some people are resistant psychedelics. I imagine it would be really frustrating if someone had a desire for awakening, yet was a spiritual normie and psychedelic resistant. I saw a video of a woman who had been seriously doing spirituality for like 40 years. Meditation retreats, nonduality, various forms of yoga etc. I think she was at a Rupert Spira talk and was pleading with him - "what is it going to take? I've heard all this. I've done all this many many times for decades - yet I'm still here unawakened". She seemed so tired of it all. I felt for her.

The first duality is the duality between duality and nonduality. Which is an infinite strange loop that sits at the root of all causality in existence.

When did the coin divide in two faces? Understanding Nonduality by duality or nonduality will never work. Your question only has sense from the dual perspective, yet u must understand the nondual, after that you will see that they are two faces of the same coin (as up and down), then Nondual understanding will arise in you.

A cautionary word...conclusion is just one more thought. It seems otherwise, because the content implies a summarization, which is also just another word / thought. These readings are the pointing finger, next one must see the moon pointed to, the actuality, for lack of nondual words... the direct experience for, as, of, oneself. Physical body, like all other words / thoughts, labels perception, but does not actually equate to separation, objects, things, etc. There is another saying, ‘empty your cup’. This is also a pointing, to which the moon must be directly experienced... or, that “cup” is a word / thought, and is not a separate object in perception. No one has ever actually experienced a cup. A temporary glimpse, is a temporary glimpse. Temporary glimpse of enlightenment is a misnomer. The term nonduality can only point. Achieving enlightenment is also a misnomer. This is not possible. A finite thing can not reach or achieve an infinite state, just as infinite can not know finite. Body, death, nature, consequences, etc... these are thoughts believed, beliefs - that there are things - not actually separate things or events. The realization of this makes perfect sense, in that sense does not point to logic such as conclusions, or any other thoughts, but to sensation. Dimensional jargon is a priori to m and string theory. Dimension is often regarded as exceptional, or, true, as in not-theory. It is though. It is a limit of the observing mind so to speak. Direct experience is a priori to the theory of dimensions and the observing mind as well. That the matrix is false is a belief, like illusion. Only direct experience reveals the actuality. The matrix can not be conceived, because matrix is also a concept, a thought. Like all thoughts, it has meaning, so long as you continue assigning meaning. Notice if you don’t, no one else does. If it seems otherwise, scrutinize direct experience more. After decades of eternity, I suggest making a dreamboard to be the most integrative approach. This is a direct experience, thinking about making a dreamboard but not directly experiencing it, would be like mistaking the thought of sex, for the direct experience. There is really neither living nor perceptive illusion. The illusion is of thoughts, or, thought attachment, and is that of a “separate self”. So long as there are things, one is believing one is a thing (thought attachment) One already does not have to fake acting like anything. People resonate with authenticity, as that is a paramount desire for everybody. The universe is attraction based. The term ‘survival of the fittest’ and it’s collective misinterpretation comes to mind. The first recognition would be that you are believing the meanings and implications of thoughts, rather than recognizing they are thoughts, and that they are not feeling or perception. (Though of course feeling & perception are words / thoughts, which only point) Analogously, thoughts are like the words on the pages of a book. You can get lost & engrossed in a book. You can also notice, it’s a book, not the story one is lost in. Meditation is the way. Maybe start with eating meditation, as diet is the first order of business, which I would frame as alignment with well being. If you haven’t already, recontextualize food as a distant second to experiencing, like gasoline for a car. Try the loophole shake. It has all the stuff that resonates best with well being, tastes like a chocolate peanut butter banana shake, and costs less than any other diet (“loophole”). That it is raw food & enzymes alone is a game changer if you’ve not been eating those. I’d read the books The Nature of Consciousness, Ask & It Is Given, Loving What Is, The Power Of Now. Beyond creating a dreamboard, some time, a diet of well being and daily meditation practice, emotional suppression is going to come up and out of the body mind. Understanding emotions & not being attached to narratives of thought are the difference between dark nights, dissociation, depersonalization, etc... and sadness, followed by gut wrenching sorrow, followed by incredible releases and much dispelling of conditioning & beliefs, and an arising of a most incredible good feeling. Godspeed on your path. ??

But Gurus insist of the need to do the work, meditate, love, nonduality. As opposite to live with vanity, materialism, egotism. This emphasys in transceding the self cannot be a fancy. Probably those who transcend the self go to the 4th dimension where there is no physical body, ego or suffering. Just a remind we are living in the most dense dimension, where we experiment the worst suffering possible.

Yes, of course, in the absolute sense. Not evil or separate, just selfish and greedy. There is no good reason Amazon cannot pay taxes and pay its workers well. Of course if I was Jeff Bezos I would not just be like him, I would behave identical to him because I would literally be him! And if Jeff Bezos was Leo, he would be criticizing billionaires Don't forget that nonduality cuts both ways. If you ask Leo to be more understanding of billionaires, then don't forget to ask billionaires to be more understanding of Leo.

Life is a battleground, like Jung said. No other way around it. Nonduality lies in the innermost state of things, but I'm agnostic about it. DMT couldn't save starving children in Africa, oppressed people in wartime conditions, people extorted by psychopaths and narcissists. Love could... perhaps save us from fear. But what is love? Is it more than an ache in the heart? How do we keep that love inside of us all the time?

Learning about thoughts and nonduality and law of attraction sometimes feels like stepping out of an old automatic transmission regular car into a race car, but without knowing how to drive a stick shift. I've had the basic lesson but shifting still isn't too smooth, still stalling out sometimes. It's hard not to blame yourself for it or expect too much from yourself. "Keep the shakeweight away from your face!" When you get it right though, BOY it's a rush. This video is amazing especially when you consider where she takes the originally presented subject. I learned a few years ago how to not go crazy selling made ahead items, I used to feel really frustrated when sales were low. I learned that if I shifted my focus to having a well stocked store and the opportunity to be creative and make new things, rather than looking at my sales I could quickly be happy and motivated about everything again. I'd laugh when something sold because frustration arose because it set the goal I was then focused on backwards, even though I got what I really wanted. I wonder if "enlightenment" is the actual non-goal, and all the other stuff we do is the delightful distraction that allows us to get what we really want in the first place. There is no focus without distraction, but really, there is no distraction, only focus because when you notice distraction you're focused on it. HA!

These are some of my favourite quotes from the book "Dissolving the Ego, Realizing the Self" by David Hawkins. I know this topic should be in the "high consciousness resources" section, but I feel in this section it might get more exposure and help more people (otherwise, admins feel free to move it). The book is a collection of the best teachings of David Hawkins, by contemplating some of the quotes it's possible to get mini enlightenment experiences. The ego secretly "loves" and clings to the position of victimhood and extracts a distorted pleasure and grim justification from pain and suffering. Out of the fear of becoming nothing, consciousness denies its only reality that it is everything – the infinite, everlasting Allness out of which existence itself arises. Everything fulfils its purpose by merely being what it is. Everything is the fulfilment of its own essence and potentiality. The only "requirement" for anything that exists is to just be. Life is the radiance of God made manifest, as the universe expressed through evolution. We are both the product and the witness of Creation as a continuous, eternal process. Because the essence of God is the catalyst of Creation, all that is created contains that same quality. Therefore, the ultimate context of God is an infinite progression of infinite potentialities and possibilities, each of which then creates a further progression of infinite progressions. The realization and knowingness of God is radically and purely subjective. There is not even the hypothetical possibility that reason could arrive at Truth. Truth is knowable only by virtue of the identity of being it. It is through forgiveness that one is forgiven. On the level of nonduality, there is observing but no observer, as subject and object are one. You-and-I becomes the One Self experiencing all as divine. In the advanced spiritual Reality, duality dissolves because the "this" is the "that". The seeker and the Sought become One with the transcendence of the limitation of duality. That which I am is Allness. To realize that one already is and always has been All That Is leaves nothing to be added. There is no separation in the Allness of Creation, so it is impossible for the created to be separate from the Creator. Enlightenment is the consequence of the surrender of all dualistic illusions to Truth. All suffering ends with dissolution of the ego's positionalities. The infinite, Ultimate Potentiality is the Actuality of Existence. "All That Is" is therefore innately Divine, or it could not exist at all. The absolute expression of Divinity is Subjectivity. If I exist, then God Is. Consciousness does not recognize separation, which is a limitation of perception. The enlightened state is a "Oneness" in which there is no division into parts. Such division is only apparent from a localized perception; it is only an accident of a point of view. To understand the nature of God, it is necessary only to know the nature of love itself. To truly know love is to know and understand God, and to know God is to understand love.