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Anandamayi ma had no spiritual master & she was not educated enough & not doing any kind of sadhana. Still she was highly awakened. https://youtu.be/fSUI4Sn-hr4

The ego traverses the the gamut of forms. For example, blade-of-grass consciousness > tree consciousness > fish consciousness > reptile consciousness > human consciousness > superhuman consciousness > trans-human consciousness > God-consciousness. The ego thinks the answer to its own immortality lies in the direction of increasingly complex and convoluted distractions from the truth, which is that it isn't real, and never was. It will keep up this charade until it is entirely dissolved. Right now, you are identifying with your human body. Or perhaps, if you consider yourself "awakened to God consciousness", you are identifying with a different form. All such identification is an egoic effort to survive and to hide. To combat self-entropy, the ego builds ever-more sophisticated puzzle structures around itself. It is all a game of survival. Given a lifeline to prolong itself in a new form, it will grab it with both hands, day after day, "lifetime" after "lifetime". Many romanticise the idea of reincarnation, and think it is something desirable. Reincarnation is simply the ongoing attachment to form(s), which is the cause of all suffering.

This makes me think of that's why perhaps the analogy that non duality teachers give with when you have a dream and wake up, the dream is gone, therefore it was not real, but often people then ask to one of these awakened teachers, 'how come when you awaken, or physically die, we are still here and the world is still here?' I suppose because there is a higher aspect of God that is continuing this dream as we see it, even when an individual physically dies or they become awakened, the world is still here. The end script of the entire movie hasn't played out yet, I assume.

Since Leo awakened I feel he might disagree with some of the stuff he said in his old videos. So which videos should I avoid?

@petar8p He’s a good mix of mostly SD blue, orange and green. If I was speaking from the perspective of universal intelligence, I’d say his function to help move people from Blue to Orange and those in Orange to Green. He’s not awakened and is stuck in some tier 1 traps, but you could do much worse.

“Life is suffering” is a pretty bad translation and oversimplification of the first noble truth. It’s more accurate to say “there is inherent suffering/dissatisfaction in life when one is not fully awakened”. I’d highly doubt that second sentence does not apply at least a little for you if you’re completely honest with yourself. That’s not at all to say 99% of life isn’t amazing for you. I mean that’s how it feels for me, but there are certainly situations which can produce suffering and dissatisfaction although I have techniques that can basically make it vanish whenever I want if I care enough.

Then why you get so defensive when Kuba has a problem with equating love with torture or saying that God loves torture? As you know, you too would be defensive when you got tortured. I get what you're saying, it's about making the distinction between the meaning of something in it's absolute and relative sense of the word which I know you try to explain to him, but maybe he does or doesnt already understand, but regardless it's natural to get defensive at the thought of people who would justify rape and torture in the relative sense of the word (meaning the word as we experience it in it's lesser conscious state) by deluding themselves into believing that they 'know' love= torture therefore have a justification to not do anything about the torture. Notice I put the word 'know' in brackets because true knowing = experiencing and when you don't experience love, you don't really know, you just think you know. Large amounts of people (especially spiritual type folks who are 'vulnerable' to spiritual bypassing) would as a result allow and enable torture and rape, with the justification it's "love" because they think they are at a higher level of awakening and understanding which would mean more torture for the victim(s) that is you, me and them. For as long as you are here in a human vessel, whether awakened or not, it's better to side with the 'you' that is going through the worst (the victims of torture) and stop the rapists, if necessary, torture the rapists ('yourself') if that's the only thing that will help in that situation. So if in your own state of unconsciousness, you get defensive, where to direct your defensiveness best? Towards people like Kuba ('yourself' as well) who's understandably upset by what this type of talks could lead to and getting defensive about him not getting it (the theory when it comes to the statement in the absolute sense of 'torture being love') or better direct your defensiveness towards the people who say love=rape too often while being delusional about what it really means? If you ask me, talking too much about the theory of Love (in the absolute sense) is not helpful, because it usually results into more spiritual bypassing than anything, which makes people behave worse, not better. You spread more love by practicing and focussing on being courageous and showing compassion for the ones who need it most in any given situation which needs to be judged accordingly.

Yes, it began on a day when I started hearing anomalous voices (no mental health diagnosis or anything like that), helping me try to find the will to live. It ended on the particular day when I woke up and all was silent. I knew the ride was completed then, and that I had figured out who I am and what my destiny is. I was awakened with the help of my guide protectors (I call them this now). I hope this clarifies things a bit.

If you have abnormal psychology to begin with you will be more mentally unstable, especially with awakenings. It's not cut and dry at all. As I said, there are thousands of different awakened states of consciousness and no such thing as one "enlightened" condition or "naty state". This is a myth. People with abnormal psychology will have a very different spiritual path than normies. Most spiritual advice is for normies. It will not work if your brain is wired in some unique way.

These distinctions are bogus. As I explained in my State Of Consciousness Is Everything video, everything is a state of consciousness and there are many kinds and degrees of awakened states. There is no such thing as "enlightenment". This is one of the biggest errors of modern spirituality.

The awakened is functional, the insane is not functional. If you are not able to compose yourself and be chill, there's a problem. If you are not able to handle your own basic survival needs, there's a problem. If you are not able to be happy, there's a problem. If you are not able to interact peacefully with others, there's a problem.

At the end of the day, experience is an uncontrollable and self-automated process. The saint should receive no praise as they had no choice or alternative, even if to the untrained mind it appears that they did have a choice. Similarly, the psychopath should receive no hatred as they also have no control over the matter. The same is to be said of awakened or unawakened people. They also had no choice in arriving at either designation. Life lives itself. The only question is: how well can you live with that? Solid post btw.

Basically, once you become permanently awakened, this experience will be your default state. Just keep in mind, the wall and the room is not 'true'. It is just as much of a concoction of your mind as your sense of self. This was a solid glimpse. You are on the right track. I suggest doing the technique I've posted here and see how it helps along with self enquiry:

Twin flame experience with a dark energy being I had a twin flame experience with a dark energy being for a time. Our natures were equal, not one lesser than the other. He was dark and I was light. In the beginning his energy was dense, lacking in light or balance. When the energy shifted his energy shifted along with it but even at his brightest, he was all shadow. He was a highly awakened feminine, with psychic abilities. We were ancient friends from many lifetimes. Apparently I had been a mystic in many lifetimes previously and he was there along with me, tormenting me, loving me, his knowledge span far outweighing mine but not in his wisdom. He would whisper in dark tones into my mind. Very different from the tones of my other twin flame who is of the light, masculine. The darkness for me is related to the feminine principle for some reason (Shakti). And the light with the masculine principle (Shiva) The dark being would glow with a radiance that was unmatched. He was sublimely beautiful and worshipped. Although infinitely selfish. He thought this radiance and glow (Shakti, energy, manifest) enough, and that love was not necessary. After all he was worshipped and adored. ‘My’ Shiva is love. ”Shiva is love, Shakti is life. Where there is love, there is life”

I don't think it's possible to understand anything without at least one layer of interpretation. That's how our minds work. We need to have a framework to base our understanding in. Understanding doesn't just appear out of nowhere or occur in the ether. It needs a mediator, and the main ones are intuition and language. But even intuition requires a certain level of interpretation. That's my observation at least. Any thought I think, and any word I say is already an interpretation. I haven't yet found a way to bypass interpretation. We have science, which is a lot better and more accurate. If I want to understand something, the first place to go to is science. I don't think the universe has desires. Why would it? The universe can live with or without humans. It will still exist regardless of humans and their awareness, so what's the point of it wanting humans to do this but not that? Evolution is an assumption. We don't even know if it's real. Maybe all that's happening is just coping, shape-shifting, and role-playing between forms, but no fundamental evolution. I do the same as you when I meditate. But I don't have as much free time currently. I used to do 8 hours long meditation sessions a couple of years back, that was when I first awakened. Now, I mostly meditate for two hours a day max, and I even skip some days. What's that thing? That's how they got wiped, not why. Why were they wiped out if they truly understood consciousness? Shouldn't that understanding have been enough to help them protect themselves somehow? Or is strength the ultimate card in existence? (I pick the latter option). And most importantly, where's their good Karma when they needed it the most? But regardless, I even doubt that's how they got wiped in the first place. A stronger culture doesn't just kill everyone from the weaker cultures. Rather, they kill some and enslave the rest. So the wisdom that any culture must have had, should remain and automatically get embedded in the new dominating culture. I'm witnessing this directly as western culture has invaded mine. My culture didn't just vanish, it simply incorporated itself into the stronger trends. The way I see any culture can get wiped is if a better culture comes and replaces the delusions and misconceptions of the earlier one. That seems more like nature to me. There isn't an absolute good or absolute bad, just better and worse. And the better always trumps the worse out of existence. You know I like and respect you and everything, and I really hope that this won't damage our friendship, but in all honestly this sounds like nothing more than hippy daydreaming/morality. The alternative for me is working with reality as it is. Reality is this way. I wish it was some other way, but it isn't. So I have to adapt and change in order to fit and survive.

I’m not going to pretend I don’t know what I speak about. Psychedelics highs are not enlightenment. That is not an opinion. That is not a need to be right. It’s a fact. And you can go find and look up teachers who’ve done massive dose trips that have also awakened and they’ll tell you the same thing ever time and that’s been valid in “my own path” in so far as that statement makes any sense at all. So I don’t just believe people in what they say. If that’s how you read what I say, cool. That’s fine and you’re free to do what you want but in the end I’m going to call it out. I’m not outright dismissing psychedelics but I’m calling it for what it is and isn’t. You actually aren’t being some innocent “I don’t know anything” seeker with your projections that I’m suggesting some monastic dogmatism is somehow necessary. I was pointing out the demand for genuine real work for most people as that seems to be how it goes. Thank you come out of nowhere calling “that Buddhist dogma” and making false claims regarding psychedelics and the belief that psychedelics trips somehow awaken people when in fact they don’t. They might open people’s minds to resize there’s more to self and life than meets the eye but that’s not awakening. That is what I was calling out and it isn’t an opinion. It’s not just some preference for some teachers over others. Those that think conditioned experiences are realization of the unconditioned unborn nature of that which is Absolute are wrong. In the same way those that think 1 + 1 = 4 are wrong. Or confuse Mexico and USA on the map. It’s not an opinion. And if you think spiritual teachers aren't clear and deliberate in calling out people when they’re wrong, again, you don't know what you’re talking about.

Oh the projection. No. I didn’t say people need to become Buddhist monks or go into monasticism. I was very clear about what it was I said so go back and reread what I said. Now let me make sure I’m clear, once again, on this forum. Explain to me how every teacher out there that’s done more psychedelics than probably anybody on this forum will ever do that’s ACTUALLY awakened consistently says the same thing - THAT’S NOT IT. But no, you think you’re up to something different. Ralston can tell you. Lol even Ram Dass himself has said it. I know the guy who was the lead manufacturer of LSD in the world in the 60s and 70s that did doses as high as 20,000 micrograms and when asked if that was it I get a one word answer - NO. Funny how Leo doesn’t share the story of when Brendan Lea, the guy taking over Ralston’s gig at Cheng Hsin, literally went over to Leo’s place when challenged on whether 5-MeO was enlightenment to do it and still said “NO”. State changes, peak experiences, and whatever it is you think and believe it is that’s going on is not enlightenment nor will it ever be. All conditioned states are precisely that - CONDITIONED. Temporary. Transient. They are not the unconditioned Absolute. It’s still the same narcisstic ego and sense of “me” that believes is having all those experiences. But go ahead, deny all those that came before you that will consistently tell you the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Keep thinking you’re special. Enlightenment and the True Nature of Reality is beyond the mind. And regarding your projections on me thinking you need to go to some mountain cave is a projection. There’s also a reason retreats and intensives are 8-12 hours per day of sitting. So although I’m not saying one needs to do that, I’m not stupid enough to believe most people are going to be deeply liberated from the bondage of self while picking up chicks or pursuing a 6 figure career. I’ve never seen it. All the many people I’ve been fortunate to meet in this lifetime put in inhuman amounts of work because by and large that seems to be what it takes for most. All you people that think getting high on your couch for 12 hours is just cute. Awakening on the one doesn’t require anything and at the same time, by and large, takes enormous amounts of work. I’m not a Buddhist nor do I subscribe to any dogma. I report what I consistently see again and again and again and again. And there are patterns. If actually believe a tool like Andrew Tate is somehow a good man and not a scum bag after all that’s been shown of him god help you. Shows how weak your masculinity is.

At the age of 33, the "Jesus Year" I had a powerful, life changing spiritual awakening. For the first time in my life, I have awakened to, what I now understand to be "Divine Feminine". From the age of 16, since I got my first computer, until the age of 33, I was living in what I know understand to be "distorted masculine". I spent most of my time during the next 17 years figuring out how to make money online and a lot of "partying" (with alcohol and cigarettes). The awakening to "Divine Feminine" was so amazing and powerful, I knew I was searching and longing for it my entire life. The awakening of "Divine Feminine" has also awakened the "Divine Masculine" in me on some level. I got a taste of what it feels to be truly alive from these experiences. After having a few of those experiences under medium to high (heroic) doses of magic mushrooms, I realized that I have A LOT to learn. I was doing my best to document those experiences by journaling so that I could integrate as much wisdom as possible and extract the most value from those powerful trips. I still have most of those trip reports in my OneNote library. During these awakenings I felt the power of the divine, true life force, holy shakti awaken in me. I knew I could do and be anybody I wanted and I wasn't wrong, but there was "a catch" - confusion, loops, fear, awkwardness, I could see the old patterns of "distorted masculine" very clearly in myself and I was trying to figure out how to "heal, change and let go" of those conditions and patterns so that I could embody the glory of my True Self that I would always get a glimpse of during the trips. I had a burning desire to learn how to navigate psychedelic experiences so that I could embody my true self, and that became a priority in my life, I immersed myself fully into spirituality, with the main focus being on psychedelic awakening. There is so much that happened during the next 6 years, I am 39 now. I experienced the depths of distorted masculine so that I could awaken to the deliciousness of Divine Feminine and the glory of my true self in the most beautiful way possible. I have gotten to know the polarity of masculine and feminine on a very deep level, I understand it better than anybody else in the world. I have gone through the most difficult journey to understand the source of the cause of suffering in our world. To gain this understanding, I needed to directly experience the depths of unfathomable suffering and then come out of that darkness so that I can have absolute understanding, forgiveness, and gratitude for everything. I will be recording YouTube videos soon for my channel Life Craft, I will be talking about this subject in more depth. If you watch my upcoming videos you will see the embodiment of balance of masculine and feminine and authenticity that you haven't seen before. Much gratitude for this powerful question love. Love, light and blessings to you beloved sister. How the Polarity of Masculine and Feminine Played Out in My Awakening.mp3

Just an update as to what I've been doing. Today I was practising tuning into the angelic consciousness -Breath- on the mental plane (at least that's what it tells me, that it's a reflection) by noting all words around me. All words are now embedded with angelic consciousness, Breath. I'm hoping by tuning in I can increase my self love and therefore increase life energy. Synchronicity increases with contact. I think synchronicity means increased communication with mental plane, specifically angelic consciousness. I'm hoping it will spread from words to other things, like people. It seemed to be doing so today. Update: Yes it does spread to other things, it spreads like wildfire. This might be a solution to my sometimes depressive state. Angelic consciousness is the true self of the cognitive entities in my psyche. It is the spiritual plane peaking through, since all is Breath and angelic consciousness is Breath. They are awakened aspects within me reflected back to me. The mental and spiritual plane cross over. Techniquely angelic consciousness is on the spiritual plane since it is Breath and Breath is Love and ‘experiences of love and oneness’ are under the spiritual plane. However I receive information that they are reflections and simultaneously on the mental plane.

Intro I’ve felt deeply called to share what I learned between January 2022 & present with the Actualized.org community. As I mentioned in this post awhile back, I recently went to train in a contemporary, quasi monastery for 6 months called “Monastic Academy for the Preservation of Life on Earth” or just MAPLE. I had the good fortune of working remotely, keeping my software job while simultaneously committing to the morning and evening schedule, as well as accumulating 40 days of formal retreat time while there. I have felt resistance to sharing due to what I perceive as a general closed mindedness many have on the forum regarding what is possible with formal meditation practice so why bother sharing if I’m just going to be told how unawake I am by others, or how I’m playing spiritual games? However, I also believe in Actualized.org and feel it is one the highest quality sources of information regarding philosophy, psychology, personal development, and despite the many disagreements I’ve had with the community, spirituality. Because I selfishly want to see this community prosper well into the future, I felt called to share my experiences in hopes that I may stoke the fire in some by showing what is possible by throwing oneself in. I should mention a few things though – 1) MAPLE is not formally a monastery; it is a monastic container/training space. We followed a daily monastic schedule, but none of the residents nor myself took full ordination vows. 2) The community is explicitly Buddhist. However, the head teacher has a healthy integration of other spiritual traditions and furthermore, spends about 2 months per year training with Native Americans in Earth based spirituality. Even though Buddhism was the primary focus, I felt incredibly supported exploring other traditions, discussing psychedelics, and using language such as God, The Absolute, Infinity, Consciousness, The Self, etc. 3) The focus of the community is to address the many existential risks facing the planet through a combination of rigorous contemplative training aimed at classical Buddhist enlightenment and providing psychological tools needed for effectively changing society from the ground up. Specifically, how are the many modern, existential challenges a function of the modern human mind and how must the mind change in order to effectively, and appropriately respond to such challenges? Challenges such as the rapid development of artificial intelligence, gene editing, new forms of surveillance capitalism, supply chain and food supply degradation, aging and failing economic structures, and global ecological collapse through man made climate change. (This is not an exhaustive list.) Again, how are these external forces a symptom of the human mind and how must the human mind transform in order to effectively confront, and resolve these risks? This is some of what MAPLE attempts to provide an answer for. Modern thinkers such as John Vervaeke, Zach Stein, and most recently Daniel Schmachtenberger have visited and are in the process of potentially collaborating with MAPLE. So while there is a specific spiritual emphasis, remaining rooted in the world to help face these crises is a huge focus of the container. I will structure this in a similar fashion to my past trip reports with themes. I hope this is both an interesting and helpful read. I would also highly recommend in person retreats at MAPLE, or visiting through the various programs. Since the beginning, I felt particularly geared to train at MAPLE because of my background study of Actualized.org. Happy to answer any questions related to MAPLE, my practice, or anything related to this post in the reply section. Themes Meditation Gainz The Value of Spiritual Community Soryu Forall – Finding My Teacher Is MAPLE a Cult? Catching the Ox Bodhicitta as the Embodiment of God’s Love Returning to the Mountain Meditation Gainz Between silent sitting, chanting, and silent meals, I was practicing anywhere from 3 to 4 hours per day on non-retreat days. During retreats, I practiced between 10 – 14 hours per day. One of the immediate appeals of MAPLE was the intensity of the container; it often felt like a combination of Theravada Buddhism and Renzai Zen where practice was the most important focus. One of the criticisms MAPLE has received in the past was that the training was too intense. By the time I had gotten to MAPLE, the container was more docile, having responded to the feedback by softening the intensity (much to my disappointment). Of course when practicing at this intensity day in and day out, there is bound to be some kind of effect on the mind whether positive or negative. In full transparency, it was both for me, but a huge net positive. Enormous psychological material gets brought up with this rigor of practice and because of how little free time I had, I often felt incredibly ‘pressurized’ with very little time to catch my breath. Yet what seemed to occur were moments of rapid processing of the psychological material wherein the challenge would spontaneously drop and be replaced with enormous amounts of equanimity, happiness, ease, and peace. Overall, I experienced more of the positive flavors of emotion than the negative, but the relentlessness of the container facilitated what felt like a non-stop churning of the subconscious bullshit, shadows, attachments into the surface for purification. As a result of this purification, the states I was able to begin regularly achieving during formal practice and have been able to maintain since leaving MAPLE can only be described as psychedelic in quality. Meditation dropping into what feels like a microdose is the standard now while at other times it does feel like a 75 - 100ug LSD trip. The value of so easily achieving these states is difficult to communicate. The plausibility of this possibility is difficult to sell. Overall, my meditation practice feels like its growth curve has begun accelerating in a non-linear fashion where the effort required to achieve these states is minimal. The majority of the effort revolves around just showing up to practice, and because of the habituation of so much practice, even this is not hard. Perhaps it’s karma, perhaps it’s genetic, perhaps it’s due to my past, aggressive use of psychedelics, or perhaps it’s the nature of intensive meditation. I believe it is a combination, but primarily the result of intensive, persistent meditation both before, during, and now after MAPLE. There are others in the community that had practices just as deep as mine and some deeper and therefore, I bias towards believing these results are due to the intensity of the training rather than something special or unique about me. The Value of Spiritual Community Leo has often criticized spiritual communities as a distraction, just another form of playing social games and bullshitting ourselves. This is a paraphrase, but my interpretation of Leo’s stance. Whether this is an accurate assessment of Leo’s stance or not, this was partially my framework coming in, a framework that created a sense of suspicion and skepticism about MAPLE. For the first month, I found myself internally at odds with my lack of independence, as though the lone wolf archetype that I had come to hold so dearly was slowly starving. It was very painful and showed up in many ways in many moments. As time went on, as I spent more time socializing, living in community, and meditating my ass off, something strange began happening. I realized because of the integrity of MAPLE and because of the integrity of the individual community members, I was pushing myself harder than I had ever previously pushed myself alone. So many ways I distracted myself with internet usage, video games, smoking weed, watching Netflix, etc., where not only unavailable, but the craving for their usage was gone as well. The social pressure of living in a community of individuals who were devoting their lives to something greater than individual interests and selves was inspiring, forming a sort of collective accountability and momentum. I cannot speak for every spiritual community. I cannot speak for every ashram or monastery. But due to my own direct experience, I can speak about MAPLE and hold an open mind that there is a genuine power and advantage to training in a community setting. (I speak more on this below.) Though I am glad Leo’s content fostered a deep sense of independence and personal authority, as this served me many times even while at MAPLE and certainly as I’ve come back into normal society, I am glad to have surrendered myself in some way into a collective mind and space. Sometimes the whole is greater than the sum of the parts and it turns out, sometimes the greater whole can reach back and serve the parts. Soryu Forall – Finding My Teacher There’s the cliché saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” And this was exactly, utterly, and profoundly my experience meeting Soryu Forall. This man is like the Bodhisattva version of Peter Ralston in his prime; he’s kind of like a Dharma football coach. Soryu speaks with a compassionate ferocity and unusual clarity. The man walks with unquestionable integrity and is routinely open to feedback from the community despite holding a position of power and authority. There were multiple instances where we had one on one communications where I was questioning decisions he made or topics he discussed and he would legitimately listen without getting defensive, holding hidden agendas, or gaslighting as so many guru figures are known for. I never once felt any kind of pressure from him other than to work hard practicing and face the truth. Yet beyond his intense personality and relational openness, Soryu’s life purpose is to help preserve life on the planet in the face of the myriad of existential risks, and it is this life purpose which told me I’d found my teacher. Story time - A few years ago my main focus in spirituality was exploring consciousness, primarily using psychedelics as taught by Leo. However, as a result of these deep explorations, I discovered an unexpected pain that could only be held as some kind of collective wound rather than anything having to do with my personal psychology. It was as though I encountered the crying out of the planet itself. As a result of these medicines, I was continuously running into both a deep, species level collective pain and even greater, a planetary pain as a result of human activity. The work of Christopher Bache comes to mind as a written example of what I felt like I was running into (Christopher’s work helped contextualize my experiences as I was having them before I’d ever read LSD and The Mind of The Universe; discovering his work was extremely validating as well as clarifying.) It was as though psychedelics completely cracked open my personal psychology, and spirit, catapulting me into this enormous pain and suffering the planet was experiencing as a result of human activity. I was left very broken on multiple occasions and confused on a number of my most recent journeys. At least this was the case until my first meditation retreat. On this first retreat, I directly experienced how the purification of my mind that was occurring as a direct result of meditation was purifying my personal mind of the very qualities psychedelics had shown me to be responsible for the catastrophic destruction and tragic proliferation of suffering on the planet. Greed, hatred, ignorance, anger, envy, pride, good ol’ selfish egotism, etc. – Mindfulness purifies these qualities of mind. These qualities of mind are deeply ingrained in modern humanity and become increasingly worse as one moves up power structures, mainly governments, corporations, and those with massive amounts of wealth. Because of this retreat experience, I realized I encountered the root cause to all of these concerns and therefore, at last had the power to take responsibility for these. So how does this relate to Soryu? Soryu was the first spiritual teacher I’ve met that not only recognizes this relationship between meditation practice and purifying the qualities of mind responsible for destroying the planet, he has been the only teacher I’ve met with the integrity to take responsibility in some way for this relationship. While most teachers and teachings are oriented around personal liberation and self-centered enlightenment, Soryu has shown that there is an alternative path within spirituality, that one can awaken while simultaneously deepening a compassion and effectiveness to serve the world. In this way, awakening becomes a vehicle for compassionate work in the world, and compassionate work in the world becomes a vehicle for awakening. And this embodiment of the intersection between the contemplative path and existential risk was the very intersection shown to me by my use of psychedelics and my first retreat. Soryu was and is an embodiment of an energetic archetype I felt within myself, to some extent. Obviously we’re different beings and obviously our most self-actualized forms will not be identical, but in many regards, he has served as an embodied example of what is possible to become on this path if one’s life purpose is centered around addressing existential risk through a contemplative, spiritual framework. Similar to how discovering Christopher Bache’s work was enormously validating for my psychedelic explorations, discovering Soryu and MAPLE has been enormously validating for my experiences with meditation. Is MAPLE a Cult? I felt called to address this because of the obvious reputation communal, spiritual communities have. It was a concern my family and some friends had as well before I arrived and given how horrible many spiritual communities have turned out in the past, it feels warranted addressing this topic. In many ways yes MAPLE could be defined as a cult. There is a dress code, we follow a formal schedule, there is limited free time, and in some regards, there is a central power figure in a leadership position (Soryu) that directs the momentum of the space. However, this framing is incredibly more nuanced than a black or white yes or no. While there were cult-like qualities living at MAPLE, what are the advantages and what are the feedback systems MAPLE has created which prevent unhealthy power and relationship dynamics from forming? Why would I have stayed in the community for 6 months if I felt it was cult-ish? When following a strict schedule that forces one to meditate, eat healthy, exercise, follow a consistent sleep schedule, and ask existentially challenging questions, all within the space of an incredibly nourishing community, it turns out this is one of the healthiest ways a human can live. Shocking, I know. While there are advantages to taking personal responsibility for forming these daily habits, the fact of the matter is most seekers and self-actualizers fail at this because of a myriad of societal and internal stumbling blocks. Until our minds have become deeply purified in the contemplative sense, we are very susceptible to environmental conditioning. Because of the state of our modern society, this environmental conditioning is almost always negative. Furthermore, because our minds have not been sufficiently purified and are enmeshed in toxic environments, most minds are not trustworthy enough to stay committed to behaviors aligned with their highest values and ideals. By spending dedicated amounts of time intentionally surrendering one’s authority to an external training environment, this can circumvent one’s environmentally conditioned bias towards self-sabotage. If this training environment is healthy and focused on deep introspection, the integrity of the training space can be ingrained, absorbed, and then intrinsically grow out of the personal psychology. One can adopt the training space’s mind, so to speak. Rather than constantly flailing around on one’s own in cycles of success and failure, legitimate long-term momentum can begin building and therefore, real reprogramming can start taking place in the subconscious mind, a reprogramming that biases towards these healthy habits and has the integrity to follow one’s highest ideals and values. This was my experience at MAPLE. Of course, all of this is contingent upon the environment being trust-worthy, self-reflective, and having the necessary feedback mechanisms to remain healthy. This brings us to the second point. From every angle I looked and despite enormous skepticism, from what I can tell MAPLE is a trustworthy environment, has a trustworthy community, and has a trustworthy head teacher. Integrity and personal responsibility are routinely emphasized. Public apologies for fuck ups and taking ownership over one’s own mind are the standard. It is continually emphasized to not hand one’s authority over to Soryu and that his role as a head teacher is ultimately only there to help support one’s own awakening process. At every level of leadership, any other level of authority whether from a random retreat goer, or a new resident/apprentice, everyone is welcome to give feedback. This environment of continual, open, and encouraged feedback helps eliminate blind spots in the community, as different levels of perspective and views are allowed to emerge and be held by the collective. It felt very much like a psychological, strange loop, where every level could contact and communicate with every other level. I believe the heavy emphasis on spiritual practice and Buddhist ethics are part of what made this possible. If a community weren’t centered around these types of values and relational feedback mechanisms, the risk of dangerous cult formation seems high. Instead, there was continuous collective reflection and feedback, helping shape and mold power structures and dynamics at every level. It felt like a community boarding on SD stage yellow. So back to question – is MAPLE a cult? I said in many ways it could fit this definition, yes. And yet it is no more a cult than the United States of America, any other country, and no more a cult than the social dynamics that occur as one lives in community with roommates, family members, or even alone. The environment and the social elements of one’s environment will always play a role in shaping one’s psychology. Our minds are not separate and independence is an illusion; existence/form is 100% conditioned at every level. In this way, it is almost impossible to escape being shaped by cult psychology from one’s environment save for the most highly developed sages. Does one live in a trustworthy environment? Can one create a trustworthy environment? Can one trust their own mind to judge and create a trustworthy environment? Overall, the structure served a deep purpose and has had a rooted impact as I’ve come back into the world. Catching the Ox It turns out all the great sages and mystics of the past and present are correct – the self is not an object, it is not a perception, and certainly not a state of consciousness. Self-realization is not to be found in a psychedelic trip, nor in any comparison of ‘this state vs. that state,’ even when comparing a state of self-realization to a state of non-self-realization. Self-realization is not found in a monastery. God is not it. Emptiness is not it. The self is not it. Non-self is not it. Formlessness is not it. Form is not it. And yet to say there is no recognition, no enlightenment, nor God is not it. There is truth, there is the realization of truth, and there is the realization of truth’s uncompromising permanence and necessity of permeating realization vs non-realization. It really is nothing whatsoever and yet permeates all possible states of mind, perception, consciousness, or whatever other word used. It is reliable, it is a source of happiness, and it is that which creates all conditioned existence through form. Everything, including God realized states of consciousness and unconscious states of consciousness, arises out of, and passes back into it and yet themselves are it. Enlightenment is an absolute paradox. Only a mind capable of holding paradoxical thought will find this description understandable, or helpful, yet this form of thought is very much accessible if one commits to serious practice. The intensity of MAPLE’s training schedule and the intensity of the interviews with Soryu helped facilitate an undoubted encounter with reality that has only continued flowering. In the 10 ox herding model of Zen, I feel confident I have encountered Stage 4 out of the 10. The next step is “taming the ox,” or in other words, letting this realization pierce so completely and totally that all waking, dreaming, and dreamless states abide in the knowledge of self, the knowledge of emptiness, the knowledge of reality. I could also say the next step is further exploring what it actually means to catch the ox. Stage 4 seems to have enormous depth. Practice will involve the continued purification of mind from mental defilements and cultivation of mind with wholesome states like concentration, equanimity, and clarity, which facilitate the dynamic creation of actualized self-activity. As one comes to know one’s true nature, the relative mind structure begins to reflect and mirror the truth through embodied existence; the truth transforms the mind as the mind clarifies what is true and not true. Right action, speech, and thought spontaneously arise from the flow of life, all in achord with one’s highest ideals and values. To truly self-actualize, one must have the desire for the truth, both the truth of one’s true nature which gives rise to enlightenment and the desire for the truth of one’s authentic desires which give rise to self-actualization. Bodhicitta as the Embodiment of God’s Love One of the most important Buddhist concepts I learned while at MAPLE was Bodhicitta, which can be defined as the aspiration for awakening for the benefit of all beings. It is a stance towards awakening that seeks to serve the awakening of all beings, rather than merely the awakening of oneself. Yet of course this is a paradox, as who else is there to awaken but you? What other being is there to awaken other than you? Yet there is suffering, there is unhappiness, there is ignorance of truth across a myriad of endless beings; one need only walk outside to observe this fact. Furthermore, one need only look at their life to see the role various teachers and the condition’s of one’s environment played in their own awakening process. What is the intelligence, compassion, and love that worked behind the scenes to facilitate this personal awakening for you? It was the love of God. It was Self-Love. It was a love and compassion so pure that it could only have originated from that which is totally without self. Can one step into the humility needed to encounter just how profound and significant it was to be born a human, to be born in a world where there are legitimate teachers teaching the way, and to be born with the conditions to even learn about and open up to the possibility of enlightenment? What ARE those conditions? Why do they occur? How is it possible we could have discovered any of this? Love. When vowing to remain in cyclical existence for the sake of all being’s the Bodhisattva through this cultivation and absolute Bodhicitta, vows to remain, to help serve until every last moment of consciousness, every last manifestation of form, is awakened, completely and utterly. The goal is asinine, insane, utterly grandiose, and of course, pure paradox. It is a goal only accessible through understanding of the nature of self and God, whether one uses those words or not. Moreover, it is a goal too overwhelming for a self to take on and too paradoxical for a self to make sense of. When one encounters the compassion of a Bodhisattva, awakens to a glimpse of what a being of this caliber is like, it necessarily cracks the heart wide open, revealing something so far beyond what normal human emotion or mind can comprehend. I consider Soryu Forall to be a partial embodiment of this Bodhisattva archetype.He has served as a legitimate sign post to work towards this Archetype, to actually allow the life force of the awakened mind and heart to serve something other than the illusion of self, and instead, serve reality itself. I have no illusions that he doesn’t have further work to do, but I would be foolish to not recognize the enormous depth of his awakening and honor the significance of meeting a being who's taken on these vows in the flesh, working to embody these vows with integrity and authenticity. It’s easier to see the consequences of such vows, integrity, and authenticity when one has a living example. During my time at MAPLE, I lay ordained, taking these vows as well, but in truth, the vows themselves emerged on their own without any part of the personal psychology wanting or feeling good about it. In fact, it felt more like a remembering of promises I’d made long ago rather than some new, profound stance towards how I want to live my life, in this life and beyond. Returning to the Mountain I have plans of returning to MAPLE later this fall to become a full time resident. There is a powerful calling to take responsibility for humanity's existential predicament and it seems karma predisposes me towards wanting to help through addressing the root cause - the mind. I feel a deep responsibility to awaken both because I consider Truth to be one of the highest values in life, but also because I feel a responsibility towards mankind. How could I see this relationship between the internal and external so clearly and not do something about it? For a number of other personal reasons, my experiences with psychedelics, and now primarily meditation, the work I want to do in the world involves helping teach this practice. I want to teach this path as a means to create peace on the planet and to foster a new humanity capable of creating harmony with itself and all of life. If humanity cannot scale a collective wisdom and love with its rapidly developing power, the planet will not last. I consider psychedelics a necessary component to this collective transformation, as without some kind of exponential waking up, humanity will not respond in time. Yet humanity also needs teachers, and leaders capable of showing the way in the grounded, natural state. For now, I am called to train and work with this community as a way to help facilitate this collective peace and harmony. Final words I really think MAPLE would be a great spot for many in the Actualized.org community to visit. Its emphasis on awakening yet awakening within the context of how one may serve the world fits the ethos of Leo’s work on Life Purpose, from my point of view. Having studied Leo’s work so thoroughly before coming to MAPLE was a massive advantage. Evening studying the work and sitting with Peter Ralston was a massive advantage as well. It feels like MAPLE is a bit of an underground spiritual community right now, but is a perfect fit for those who are into Leo, Peter, or Shinzen. It’s here to support serious truth seekers, sages, self-actualizers, but most importantly, those who have an aspiration to serve the world during these troubling times by taking responsibility for one’s mind. Therefore, if one has goals of serving the world and particularly within domains related to existential risk, yet also seeks the truth, I would recommend checking it out. Plus since I’ll be there for the next little bit, it would be cool to meet some other’s from the forum. This is all for now. With deep mettā.

Right but that's not all you've taught, c'mon now. The technicalities are just as important IMO. It's like if I were to gift you a Rolex watch that you've been wanting for over a decade and you're going crazy about it. But what if I told you that I actually stole it during the middle of the night and had to kill the 2 guards in turn to get it. The appreciation and excitement would die off rather quickly. And Love is a very conflicting thing indeed, because everything is it which means you can suffer every single day of your life and have that life be seen as equal by God as the perfect life of riches, travel and good experiences with family, friends and partners is to us. So telling someone who hasn't awakened that "everything is love" is gonna do nothing but confuse them.

I just reached a totally new level of awakened consciousness. I became completely conscious that I am planet Earth. Planet Earth is Awake. The entire planet is a singular consciousness down to its infinite core. Of-fucking-course! How could I have been so blind! Ta-DAAAAA! Nonduality my ass.

Much gratitude for sharing this beloved brother. What you have shared here is very beautiful, profound and powerful. Thank you for your courage, beauty, honesty and authenticity. I see you. Your dream is filled with very powerful symbolism and it powerfully resonates with the story and journey of my life. I feel happy for you that you have experienced this paradise, it sounds wonderful! From what I am able to pick up from your share, you are going through a very similar experience that I was going through: 1) a burning desire to embody and awaken to the glory, joy and beauty of Paradise that somewhere deep down you know is real 2) The on-going, everyday struggle with the battle of the fear of the unknown - what will happen to me and what do I need to go through to awaken to this Paradise? 3) The greatest fear of every human being - eternal torture, aka - Hell. 4) Search for solace in someone's words, insights, quotes, books, songs poetry, visual and other forms of art. I felt a call to share a personal life experience from my life after reading about your dream and the questions you have because all of the symbols that you have described relate to it. I grew up in Russia, Siberia, in a city called Novosibirsk. Me, my brother, mom and dad lived in a 9 story apartment building, made mostly of concrete, on the 8th floor. There is a playground or courtyard, called "dvor" in Russian, in the middle area of these apartment buildings where my brother and I played as kids. The entire dvor could be seen from the balcony of our 8th floor apartment. When it would start getting dark, our mom would come out on this balcony and call us home - "malchiki domoi" - boys come home. In 2020, for mother's day, I wrote this poem for my mom (translated to English from Russian): I wish a ray of light In your soul does not fade away Whatever the darkness of the night The golden dawn is near I heard your voice as a kid - boys come home And once again I hear your voice Through the fog and darkness and blizzard - son it's time to come home Your voice, your voice I remember the way home Your voice, your voice Will take me home Your voice, your voice Loving, affectionate, kind Your voice - golden ray of light Like a wolf before the moon I howl bittersweetly into the dark About that dream, about her O fairytale's happy ending I'm telling the truth Mama I love you To me, what you have shared about your dream, the episode about my mom calling my brother and I back home from the balcony in Novosibirsk, the entire life journey I had to make to come back home to myself, to know my truth and the hero's journey are all analogous and closely related. What you have shared about your dream and the questions you have asked have gotten to the very depth of the purpose of why I have started this thread here at actualized.org. I know the Truth - I carry the gifts of salvation from death and suffering for humanity, the world and the entire Universe. I have conquered the greatest fear of all humans - Eternal Torture. How was it possible for me to do this? The shortest answer is: Shamanism. You, everybody and the entire Universe helped me do it. So what am I doing here on actualized.org, why do I want to answer all of these questions? My intention is to embody the beauty of Truth that I have awakened to, that I know. My intention is to get myself ready to fully step into my power of who I was destined to become since the beginning of creation, and to do so in the most skillful, wise, loving, kind, gentle and intelligent way that I possibly can. The biggest obstacle that I am very much aware of is this: there have been many others that claimed to be "me" in the past, the false prophets, the false Jesus Christs, the ones with inflated spiritual ego. So why am I any different? It's understandable why people would think and say that I am in a "messianic delirium". Vladimir the Jesus Christ from Siberia? I thought Jesus is Jewish and has long hair and beard, I thought he was supposed to descend down from the sky with a choir of angels accompanying him, I thought Jesus can walk on water and spread the sea. Can you perform those miracles Vladimir? This reminds me of William Wallace's monologue from Braveheart: Wallace: Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace. Young soldier: William Wallace is 7 feet tall. Wallace: Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. I am William Wallace. I am Jesus Christ and I'm in the process of awakening to my full power. All of you who are reading these words now, are amongst the chosen few to witness the earliest stages of my awakening. Feel the power, magnificence, glory and gratitude in those words. The second coming of Jesus that many have predicted is here, I am here and I am speaking the truth, I am the chosen one, yes the messiah, the savior that humanity have been waiting for. I don't come alone, I come with my beloved wife, my true love - Maria Magdalena and a tribe of light workers. Magdalena and I are the true love that have saved the world, yes already saved, love has already won, have solace knowing that. Behold the majesty and beauty of a True Love and Paradise awakening right before your eyes. Okay great. Jesus, I believe you are what you say you are. But what about me? And how many more will have to die? How many more will have to suffer? Am I safe? Am I safe from torture, pain and suffering? I don't know the answer to those questions, I only know that I and my beloved woman are safe and the embodiment of our True Love is the power that is powerful enough to save the entire world. The best you can do is to align with my truth and have faith and trust that what I am sharing here is the Truth, believe the words that I'm conveying to you here in the best way that I can. Also, know that you are contributing to God's most important work here by asking me these questions, especially questions that get to the very bottom of it, which is what you have touched upon here Gabith. You are helping me actualize and embody my Truth in the most beautiful way possible. The bible scripture puts what I'm trying to say here very eloquently: So what's the take away from all of this? Believe, have faith that I am Jesus Christ, the Lord, listen to my teachings for I am the sage of sages, I know the Truth, align with my truth and you will have your salvation and you will awaken to the Paradise that I have awakened to and embodying and actualizing every day. By aligning with my truth, you are alleviating the suffering for yourself, everybody around you and the entire world, this is what the entire Universe wants for all of us - Freedom, Liberation from Fear and Suffering, Love, Harmony, Pure Life and Joy, Eternal Paradise, Immortality.

I understand that you seek to ground everything in your own direct experience and throw off the false authority of contemporary spiritual teachers. In the end even the Buddha told his followers to be a light unto themselves! All that I am objecting to is the way that this is framed as though anything other than your own direct experience is sheer nonsense. Just because you claim to have arrived at a point in which any external teaching is no longer of any use, that doesn’t invalidate their relative value. What is more enlightening: TYT or the Corpus Hermeticum? Not are, were! We live in the ashes of human civilisation. Boasting that you are the most awakened man alive in 2022 is like being proud of being the tallest man at a midget meet-up club! The bar is set so low…

Yet, with respect to everything other than the pure possibilities of consciousness, you yourself are completely uninterested in anything other than your own beliefs, which then ironically contaminates your teachings about consciousness itself. For example, you recently claimed that “no human has ever become a spiritual trickster”. This is just laughable. Likewise, the fact that the Earth is conscious was commonly understood in all pre-modern human societies, as was the possibility of shape-shifting and adopting animal or superhuman forms of consciousness, but you are so ignorant of human history - except through dumbed down YouTube spirituality or some mediocre “Integral” books which handily reduce the grand complexity of human existence to a few colour-coded stages - that it is all misinterpreted as being some grand new awakening that nobody had ever understood before. Anyone who challenges this is quickly dismissed and if they do so too incessantly will be permanently dismissed! And since you have drawn such a harsh distinction between consciousness and everything which is merely human, this unstable mixture of advanced spiritual realisations and your own attachments to “petty human bullshit” is destined to become more and more volatile, as we have already seen. This is why I have recently called you “the most awakened bug-man”. While you have attained to advanced states of consciousness, your assumptions about human life are exactly those that one finds among the modern secular materialistic bugman: we are just apes on a rock in space and there is no greater purpose to life than “just enjoy the ride, dude!”