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Interesting story from a guy, called Cornelius Christopher who was suicidal and eventually became awakened instead. He experienced a phenomenon physicists call a quantum superposition meaning two or more conflicted states / alternative realities existing at the exact same time and in the same space. There he observed his suicide from the past, present, and future, including the now moment. He discovered that there is no such thing as death as we know it when we physically die; only consciousness exists before it collapses into one of those realities. In his autobiography, Cornelius describes he had received many extraordinary gifts, including pure consciousness where he has no inner voice, chatter and no ego. he experiences pure silence all the time with no self-doubt and or ability to judge.

Hello everyone in the actualized.org community I want to talk about the events that is happening right now in my country in Iran and be the voice of my people and bring about some awareness on this issue to the world and this actualized.org community for this could help my country and my people maybe I don't know but I just have to do it These days in Iran the government is killing it's people very brutally and doesn't eve bother to take the responsibility of killing even one person and everyone that they kill they would create a bullshit backup story about them committing suicide or some other bullshit to clean their hands and it's funny that some idiots in the same country believe these bullshit stories from the government they are basically slaves of the dictator government and believe whatever the government is telling them Although these slave believers are less than the protestors and the young generation of people who are being killed for protesting against the government but still there are some of them still in Iran who believe blindly whatever the dictator government is feeding their stupid minds and some of them also participate in killing the protestors for the government Our people are protesting for their basic rights as human beings for choosing what to wear themselves not the government telling them what they should be wearing and making a law out of it and even having a morality police to demand the women to wear as they say they should I mean this is preposterous in the 21st century and in this world that we're living today for this idiot religious dictators to tell everybody to do as they say they should do and if not then kill them I mean it's absolutely ridiculous we were living under this absurd religious since we were born but they're now killing everybody who opposes them and this can't go on like this I'm not even mentioning the big big economical problems that Iran is facing with the crazy inflation rate that's making living in this country so fucking difficult for all of our people I hope this brings about some awareness to the world I really hope I can be of some help even if it's very very little to my people Thank you for your time Peace✌?❤️

This is a followup to this thread: I don't think I can hold on any longer. Living is painful. No therapist has been able to ''show me the light'', in fact they do not know what to say. No one does. It's to the point where the PSSD (Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction) community believes it is epigenetic changes and there is basically nothing to do really except temporary symptomatic relief. This situation is too painful to my mind. The combination of this, on top of HPPD and the mental damage caused by my experience with Depersonalization is far from being anywhere close to anything worth living (at least from my POV now). It's like I've been holding on & trying to avoid falling off the cliff but I'm running out of energy. What if I let go? (I'm not talking about suicide) I mean just accept this miserable situation. What would happen? Would it be healthy at all? (Keep in mind, the torture of being this way is not to be underestimated but I do understand there are people experiencing similar or worse situations right now). I've been trying to troubleshoot but it just seems like there is no substance that would trigger the demethylation / neurogenesis / repair etc. that I would need to be ''normal'' like most people.

Beautiful list But every time I read God-Realization epiphanies like that, I think of rape, torture, mental dispair, suicide, dying a long and painful death, etc. These things should be part of absolute goodness too. If so, is it impossible to get god-realized, if you have an aversion to these painful things?

This is a concerning and complicated issue. There are several factors which indirectly link to gun violence. One important factor is brain damage. Some people want to shoot up a school because of this. When their brain damage is healed, they lose the desire to shoot dozens of children. Brain damage can be caused by the food we eat. A lot of the foods we eat do not the EPA and FDA safety guidelines because there is too much money on the line for massive food and water corporations and they can get away with it. Baby food can cause brain damage when linked with arsenic and lead. To make matters worse, the safety guidelines are severely outdated because there are carcinogens in Europe that are outlawed, but still legal I America. America is giving its citizens brain damage out of corporate greed and poor science in heavy metals. Maybe depression is a factor. When people feel they have nothing to live for they usually kill themselves, but sometimes they externalize these suicidal tendencies and take it out on others. Helping people to find meaning in their lives might prevent them from doing these horrible things. Of course there are many other factors in depression, but psychedelics are useful in curing depression. A lot fewer people would act in these ways if they were more loving and compassionate. Maybe psychedelics are so life transforming that it could prevent someone from becoming a school shooter. Another suggestion I have is online courses. Although not everybody has to take online courses, it can reduce the classroom sizes and disperse the target. The reason people attack schools is because there are a lot of people. If some students are better learners online rather than in a classroom because of abnormal social behaviors for instance, then fewer people would die in school shootings. Likewise, increasing the quantity of public schools would help classrooms to be less crowded. Instead of having 30 kids, they could have 20 or 10 kids. This would make evacuation during any emergency more efficient and fewer kids would die. Economic inequity often makes people give up on life. It could be student loans, stagnating wages, expensive medical care, unable to afford a house, a miserable dead end job, and many other factors. A lot of limiting beliefs come from money and a lot of society's problems could be solved through the combination of education and equalizing income and creating material abundance. Raising the age for owning firearms has been discussed recently. Background checks for people under 21 are important because their brains are less developed and it might make them more impulsive to the point of committing suicide or worse be a mass shooter. Alcoholism and other drug addictions can cause brain damage. Treating drug addicts rather than punishing then can solve a lot of behavioral problems. Most of the people who shoot up schools are crazy people with brain damage. If so many Americans are drug addicts, then no wonder they act insane. Maybe the ibogaine treatment can help alcohol and heroin addicts. Psychedelics also have anti addictive properties and legalizing them could help make the drugs less profitable for drug trafficking. For example, marijuana is smuggled across the border because it is easy to grow in Mexico and drug traffickers become less optimistic about their actions when it is legalized in America, giving doctors more control over the drug. It could work for other drugs as well. This also solves the issue of border security by the way. I'm sure there are many other solutions to gun violence other than these suggestions, but this is a few of them. By the way, there is a lot of talk about banning ar-15s. This could make the issue worse because there are less popular guns which are actually more powerful. If these guns become more popular than more people would die, not to mention how many guns are purchased illegally.

Hey, Leo. My name is Simen. I am a 26-year-old man from Norway. I've been watching your videos for a few years now. I want to tell you that I don't want to live in this reality anymore. I quickly want to point out that I am aware of the things you say to justify why suicide is pointless. I have to speak from where I come from, though, and stay true to how I view things (my thoughts and feelings). As you say: 'me' sending this message to you is pointless because it will be as though I am sending this message to myself. I am not at your level, nor can I agree to this, in all honesty. I just take you for your word a lot of times. (I have become somewhat conscious as I did try Psilocybin this summer) I struggle a lot with romantic love, to the point where I can't care about anything else. I can't care about getting a job anymore. I can't care about socializing, even though that is probably the solution. I am not unattractive by any means. There's been plenty of women attracted to me at work and through life, and I have felt many times that I could go up to multiple women, talk to them, and have a genuinely high chance for something positive. But my desire for how I want reality to work has grown too strong at this point. To the point that I'm coming up with excuses even if I am certain I have a good chance, with a woman. I am also bothered a lot about looks and beauty. Whenever I go out, there isn't 1 time I am 'not' bothered by other people's looks. Men especially. It's horrible to go through life this way. I cry a lot these days, mostly because of certain cases in that I've screwed up love with another girl(s), and things that didn't work out, but most of all, it's because of how I want it to be. Why can't everybody be attracted to everyone? Why didn't I incarnate myself half-conscious into this life? Wouldn't that be a better existence? These are just a couple questions I guess I just want to ask someone I feel has the answers. But this message isn't for that matter. You have thought me a lot, and I guess I am just grateful for it. I guess, in return, I want to say 'thank you' for being there for me through hard times. Now, please hear me out here. I really want to make you happy. You've said that the hardest thing you've had to accept has been that you are all alone. You also say that I, don't really care about you. Man.. don't be like that. To me, that isn't true. In this dream, you've helped a lot of people. And this too: When you pass away and incarnate into something else at a later point, as god, won't it be as though that doesn't matter, that your new parents are imaginary? Because you won't be as conscious to recognize that, then. I won't attempt anything just jet as I am complied to make some specific things right, first, for me. But I am not passionate enough to do the work that you always tell me to do. I just am not motivated to do anything in this life anymore, no matter what anyone says can change my mind. I don't want to change anymore, and the last think I will do is to get help.

I think you shouldn't commit suicide, you have to keep trying. But having said that, I think that not committing suicide in case this has consequences in reincarnations, is a meaningless story. If you kill yourself, it's because you were here to kill yourself. but since we are here, let's accept the challenge. the challenge is to be present and absolutely happy in a hospital with terminal cancer, in a nursing home, in a Nazi death camp. Let's try to play the game, it is exciting and it is possible to finish it successfully, and if it doesn't happen, we are trying. Suicide is cowardly. you have to keep playing. But if you're not going to play and you're going to be complaining, it seems better to opt for suicide

"One of the myths of Jonestown was that it was a mass suicide, whereas, in fact, it was a mass murder."

Yes. Before you drink water, you think. It's interfaced with basically all your actions. The quality and efficiency of a lot of your actions are linked to how you think. Someone who thinks that suicide bombing is gonna send him into heaven is gonna go do that. Thinking is serious stuff.

Contemplating death and suicide with curiosity can actually be incredibly life transforming/affirming... Pros could be: You would then know what it was like to experience death (though you are also able to have this experience while alive, so killing yourself is unnecessary) The past would be gone, there would be no need to worry about the future, you would be elevated of all caring, for there would be no you to care. Your family, friends, all ideas of the world, ideas of Karma or Jesus, who you are, all attachments... gone. Taking off the identity (ego) you are manufacturing/maintaining. You can reach/practice this state while "alive" (if you so choose to lable yourself as such) so again suicide is unnessesary.... (Death)..." slices through every lie, ridicules every belief, mocks every vanity and reduces ego to absurdity. He is sitting with you right now. If you want to know something, ask him. Death doesn't lie." -Jed McKenna Also maybe you aren't afraid of dying, but are terrified to actually LIVE. Life works in mysterious ways, you never know what's going to happen, who you'll meet, what serendipity will come your way... The curiosity keeps me here. "Good", "bad" whatever you want to lable this moment, and even though it may be absolutely meaningless... holy cow, it's a fucking miracle. Great entertainment for conciousness. Sending you all the love and the biggest hug. Take care

@Jake Chambers Hey I was just reflecting on your question and personally, I think that people can actually become attached and addicted to fame and the feelings fame evokes in them once they experience it. I think we could also consider that perhaps Kanye was a totally different person before he acquired his fame. He could've behaved much differently then. He could've been the sweetest, most humble, quiet, & selfless guy you'd ever meet and it was the fame itself that messed him up and altered his behavior and his attitude. Fame does change a person. And I think it can quite drastically. So to answer your question, his narcissistic personality traits could be inherited, I don't know his personal genetic background, but they could also be developed and learned. And achieving fame is one of the easiest and fastest ways to mold & shape a personality into one which is more egocentric, superficial, & vain. (It's like a trap and it can become very miserable and crippling for some celebrities/artists who are more spiritually/emotionally aware and in tune, who are wanting more in life than to have eyes all over them.) Once a person receives such extreme levels of admiration and attention, this can act like a drug, and some can actually become addicted which can heighten their greed and also paradoxically, increase their lack of satisfaction & true sense of fulfillment in life. This is why we see fame driving many individuals to sickness, and to disturbing degrees of self-destruction, including suicide. This proves that not even living like kings & queens or honorary heroes/idols can ensure happiness, positive well-being, and sense of fulfillment & life satisfaction.

I need to get some thoughts and feelings off my chest. Recently I've been regularly having suicidal thoughts. They are not serious and I'm not planning anything but I'm just so tired. Why does everything have to be so difficult? By that I mean, I feel like my mind is constantly working to my detriment. I'm so fucking done with this shit. Sometimes I really see no way out. Today during a walk I sat on a bench and the moment I became a bit more conscious and looked at my thoughts and emotional state I just cried. "How can I be doing this to myself...?" You might notice that I cry pretty often. Yes, that is the case. Sometimes I cry from sadness, from powerlessness, from overwhelm. Other times I cry tears of joy and love. I'm pretty emotional. I feel like a rollercoaster, I can't find stability. Emotions are one of my favourite things in life but too often I just can't deal with them well. I mean I'm blocking myself from feeling so often. This especially happens when I'm at my lowest, like right now. Two weeks ago I realized Aloneness, Love for the first time. I also engaged in a dialogue with God. Two weeks later - I managed to almost completely numb myself and kill this voice inside me. By this I mean that I cut myself off - God is of course still there, probably waiting with pure love and acceptance. But I'm too afraid to leave the dark. SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS NORMAL. For fucks sake. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE AREN'T INTERESTED IN THIS SHIT! Fucking good for them! Their minds are doing a great job of protecting them and they seem to be cooperating unlike me and myself! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This God damn awakening bullshit. FUCK! I hate that everything has to be so difficult. I fucking HATE IT! I can't change for shit! Can't motivate myself to work hard, can't motivate myself to catch up on studying which I've neglected, can't muster up the strength to quit my numbing and destructive habits. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this. I hate this. I hate this! Why, God? You fucking asshole... Maybe You can accept anything, but I can't. Dialogue with God my ass. Deluded idiot. That's exactly what I do. It's freeing to know that I do have the choice to commit suicide if I want. There is always an escape hatch. Of course it's gonna take much before I use it but like... ultimately nothing matters. I can do whatever I want. God (AKA me) will completely understand. Today I thought about it and when a person feels completely powerless and broken, the decision to commit suicide is actually an act of courage, a regaining of the power. Not that I'm that person but still. It takes true courage to kill yourself, really. It's almost admirable. Note: don't take my ramblings about suicide seriously. And don't do it. Even though there's nothing wrong with it, it's still not the right choice. Ehh. Really tho, don't take this seriously. I'm still gonna post it cuz I wanna vent but like REALLY. Don't kill yourself. Another thing I've been thinking about recently: you know what's scarier than the thought of death? The thought of living for infinity. And the horrors you'll gonna go through. To me that's scarier. I feel like it's my duty to accept that. It's part of my spiritual journey. Being willing to live through anything... man. I salute to those who are. Ehhhhh. There is much sadness and anger in me. And I feel like I'm at my lowest. I smile at the idea of a better tomorrow. I think of all the people that sigh with tiredness but still work towards that thing they want or look forward towards that brighter future. Humans with their visions, aspirations and desires. It's inspiring and pitiful at the same time. Little finite children. Goes without saying that I too am this little foolish child. ... Well. I hope better things are on their way.

i mean honestly I dont blame you man, we play these games and to what end, you make up the rules but the apparent ego is powerless, and then we are supposed to enjoy it, i mean dont get me wrong there is a beautiful balance to life, but doesnt mean i have to/like/love all the terrible shit and the only way out is a psychedelic? or meditating for a bagillion hours? or a horrificly painful suicide, seems like im a shit designer.

Not bad, I see some of your points. I agree with Leo's personality being kind of rough around the edges and it has not improved. Even I have worked on my own personality over the years and don't see him doing this, in fact - I find it odd as I grow, I seem to soften up a bit, or at least am making the effort to because my awakenings have lead me to the conclusion that moving energy "up" is a worthwhile thing - for myself and others and so I feel more mindful about negativity. I think it will take one to two years to fully embody, but I have noticed my aggression, my need to be right, to argue has been going down as I move closer to what I consider to be my "death", I want to be emotionally decent before I go. When you look death in the face, you realize how unimportant some things are and what you miss out on - things like this. When I see Leo's arrogance, this tells me he has not really faced these things, as when you do - it softens you. You realize that you're not some "super special gift" to the world or that people need to be a certain way, or even that the world needs to be a certain way - but that everything unravels for a reason... I guess... even me writing then, the onus on me is to accept all of it completely... but I feel like I could get through somehow. Leo, sometimes your attitude is really off the mark, when it comes to empathy and understanding people and relating to them. Like, your image on your instagram of some woman's fluids on your jeans... just... why? You know? You tout yourself as a high quality guy but you're doing weird stuff like this, you sometimes treat your forum audience with what almost feels to be contempt at times. Another thing is that you have these awakenings, and these are things that I started off with - much of them, and have been holding onto in the face of being told they are wrong, only to see other people come to similar conclusions. Like... these people follow you and their mainstream spirituality like... mindlessly. A lot really do, and it is unsettling because then they take their ignorance and try to mold my own work into it and I can guarantee that a lot of people have not gone as deep in certain subsets of this than I have. And then you come out with some flippant new awakening and suddenly everyone is now "open" to this. It just makes me realize how you really have to hold on tightly to your internal compass with these things, because even so called truth seekers will try to corrupt it if they can. As far as mental illness goes - there is a lot of ablism on this forum. In spirituality in general, so I don't agree with your sentiments there. The fact is a lot of people have mental illness. If you don't have it you won't understand how linked the two are. Like peanut butter and jelly. I feel protective for people who struggle with their mental health, as someone who is afflicted as well, and I don't think someone should be removed just for being different. If it is clear that they struggle with something and are actively showing symptoms, reaching out to them could be of benefit but "culling" members based on something they have no control over isn't right. People with mental issues should be protected and loved. I also feel odd about Leo's newfound discovery of "insanity" because I don't think just one night in the trenches really can give you an accurate understanding of what it is like to not be neurotypical. I think - he just needs to take more care - perhaps of himself first... A good rule of thumb is that if you're doing your practice right - no matter which road you take, it should be leading you towards resolution, completion within yourself, acceptance, and Love - and these are things that should ideally be able to replicate in the real world. Not just talk about them, but make those active changes to the personality. My instincts tell me that something is not right. Something feels manic... or not fully digested. All over the place. I have a good eye for that stuff. He'll fluff it off, but I think that maybe humility might be his best bet. Be humble enough to reach out if you get stuck. Be humble enough to know that in the grand scheme of things, you're one in billions. I work with strong energies and learn a lot about the spiritual planes - authentically - and this is due to not allowing my ego to get in the way. I know my place, so to speak. I have a job to do, I am not some special person. It's just like being a plumber or an electrician. When you take this route into spirituality, this will keep you level. You can also get shut out of some very miraculous experiences if you are prideful. There are things within our reality that require selflessness to access, and if you get too hot headed, you'll just be removed from it completely. I would like to see him finally meet a genuine spirit from the other side. Not one that he turns into himself, but something with its own agency that comes to him with its brand of knowledge. He would see how little control a human has over things, and that it isn't him who is a teacher of the ages, but the shamans who get their information directly from these true teachers that have lucked out. A spirit, an entity, can really get into the psychology and soul of a human being - it knows just what to say, what to show you, when and where and why - and it will unravel for you in a way that is tailored to your unique psychology. A teacher - much less a human - can't do this. But most people are shut out from this as they are told such things don't even exist. Now that I have gotten a critique out of the way, I must say - I love Leo. I want him to be the best person that he can be and I don't write this with any ill will or malice or anything like that. It's just that if some of your high level awakenings are literally the very first thing that I encountered. If you get into paranormal things, into anything in such a way, you need to make sure you are as humble as you can be. If you are working with beings, they will move you away from arrogance and suicide and into love and self acceptance. If you're moving in the opposite direction, I would look into why this is happening. Maybe try reaching out to see if you can find yourself a spirit guide on the other side?

Of course, it's just my impression. We could equally say that the act of committing suicide is precisely what you wanted to experience. And indeed, if you do, it's because you exist to do exactly that. In fact I think that in some circumstances, like terminal disease, it's a perfect way to go out, really brave and elegant

Four kinds of people (romantic relationships) PHONY Shady Sneaky Stingy PHONY - phony are people who just pretend to be nice. But they show their fakery later. You feel that fake vibe. They don't mean what they say. They never turn good on their promise. They are pretentious. They are selfish. They say sweet things and later turn their backs on you when you really need them..Disingenuous. Hypocrite. Backstabber Shady - shady in my opinion would be a guy who is dating an underage person. Like they are aware that they are exploiting someone's weaknesses. They know that they are obviously doing something that gives a fair advantage only to them. They are not innocent at all. For days I had been looking for a definition on this. Or an example of what I would think is shady behavior. Obviously this is phony too because the person is not being genuine in their intent or they could be genuine with their words and sincere in their actions yet their shadiness means this Genuineness is pointless. The intent no matter how pure is still meant to benefit one party alone. The intent is calculated and selfish. Other examples of shady people - they use and throw people. They have a history of breaking hearts. They have scammed someone financially. They hide their affairs from their partner. They have covered up their jail record. They have mistreated many people. They have mistreated someone with impunity. They have been ruthless. Their friendships are pure convenience. They have committed atrocities, let's say their past partner has committed suicide because of their cruelty to them. Etc. Shady people can be way worse than phony. A phony can cause temporary feelings of betrayal and disgust and mental anguish. A shady person can literally put your life into jeopardy if you are involved in their master plan without knowing what it is about. They can pretty much screw you up for your whole life. Sneaky - a sneaky is a person who chooses to do things behind your back mostly. For example they might have been gossiping about you with their friends without you knowing it. They might be spying on you secretly. They might be doing silly stuff behind your back or when you are not around just to get away with it. They could be lying to you over little things from time to time. This is not a very harmful behavior. It's simply dishonest but maybe without mal intent. Stingy - a person who spends too little time or money. A person who is not generous. Too calculated, cold. Not selfless. Not giving. Especially when they have a lot of money. They are always thinking what they got to lose. They never want to do anything that doesn't suffice them in some way in the future. They plan everything meticulously and eventually cut you off to meet their own needs. They might not be shady or sneaky. But they abruptly cut you off when they need to in order to fulfill their plan. They keep you on a razors edge. They are careful in how much they barter with you. They never have friends who they don't need. They will constantly judge you, constantly calculate or weigh your value in their life. And cut you the moment they find you unnecessary.

And if you choose suicide, then that's not a acceptable decision? Everything except suicide are okay experiences? Interesting.. There is no evidence that we have actively chosen this stuff. And no evidence for anything else in this thread.. You are just speculating.

suicide seems like a bad thing because you, as an existence, as the void that you are, aka god, have chosen to live this experience. with all its nuances, all its content. so, when things get ugly, even horrible, with maximum suffering, als, terminal cancer, whatever....you have chosen that. then, you, the avatar that you really are, should give your all, and endure your ordeal. you want to experience that. you want to be crucified. if you escape... I don't know if it's a punishment, but seems a disappointment.

I have not experienced such a thing. I don't know if people who get into spirituality in this way are really seeing the full scope of it all. I think you can get into that state, but that there are many different places, many different ways and that it's not quite as simple as just being "nobody" with no mind to suffer. I have what could be considered a terminal illness, and it is active right now, but if it clears up I will have more time, I'm just waiting to see if and when it does, and I've gone through this death process in a very real manner and had a lot of different experiences, all of which lend to the reality that consciousness records itself. You build on your experiences in order to Know how to create. And so you need the ingredients that encompass everything. As for Hell realms, I have experienced these in a certain light, but not to the degree of being so enmired in one that I felt stuck. There was always a way out through simply moving my energy upwards - and so when discussing these things, for people who are suicidal or who want to know I include the reality of these places - along with a simple step for getting out, which is just to move the energy "up". But I don't know enough about them to know if they are simply a mirror, if they are their own worlds, or what. I would need and am actively looking into more experiences with them to be able to come to some personal conclusion. I do know how to get out, though, and this is the step. "Right action" - or things that allow the energy to flow free and positively. I think there would be leeway with that, just like if you put a family pet down for an illness. I have had experiences of pets who passed away coming to me in dreams to say goodbye and they were not stuck in a bad space simply for being put down. One didn't know it had died and was confused until I explained what had happened. She stayed with me in my dreams for a few months before moving on. What I am speaking about is more like, suicide just from feeling as though you are in a bad spot - but that could change with some effort or psychological perspective shifts. I struggle with these thoughts as well, and have, in my opinion, gathered a lot of personal details on the nature of death in a very real manner, but just like with life, due to how we are all unique, I don't know how well they would translate to someone else who is their own individual person with a special path. If that makes sense. I also don't really hold onto my awakenings into these things as absolute truth, so they are open to change or to be expanded on or to be thrown away for a better paradigm. I feel when one goes into it with a loose attachment, that you get more. I don't think you are speaking from ego imo, I think you make sense. If someone is suffering and they want an out and they are going to die anyways, then I don't think that God is going to cut them off at the tail end of their life. I mean, they did learn their lessons. And it might be better to die on one's own terms in the sense of illness, as you are prepared and still functional enough, while an illness can rob you of all of that and take away from it. But let's say you are 16 and your parents divorced or you had a break up and kill yourself, this would be grounds to redo the process. Feel free to poke holes in my work, or whatever, I don't mind. If I don't know, then I don't know and sometimes having people point out certain flaws or weak areas is good because then I can look into it and see where I might need to grow in understanding. Hope this response helps! Of course, I'm glad to know you are not suicidal. Take your time, your soul will generally know when it is time to look death in the face. There will just be a knowledge in your heart that has a strong pull that will say, "Okay, it is time to look at this now." But generally, yeah, do everything when you feel is best for your personal journey. I must let you know, it can be a very good and loving experience, once you get past the fear portion - it is very quiet and calm and there is an illumination that permeates all things and a Love that is in everything. You will find that within this death is the paradoxical eternal life, pretty cool huh?

Suicide is discouraged because the process of growing your soul is meant to move you upwards and suicide is a downwards action that puts you back on the "soul train" so to speak. Your soul wants to learn lessons to grow because you are destined to become a conscious creator, and if you don't learn what you need to while in school, you will need to come back. Also, there can at times be negative forces in your life working against you that might cause you to want to harm yourself in such a way, that if they were seen into and removed that you would not do this to yourself. Suicide is also traumatizing to the soul. It can fragment you in a certain sense. Other than having to repeat your lessons, from what I have learned about this process and gleaned into, there are no bad consequences aside from the fact that you don't get all that you were promised and that you have to repeat it again, and you might be put into a life that doesn't have access to the knowledge that you have now. It could be a harder life. The thing is, what we are promised on the other side is amazing. We get to play forever, as the personality constructs that we are supposed to be, fully, completely whole and connected to the Light and to love, to our families, pets, friends, and lover. This life on Earth is the hardest one because we are forced to forget what we learn when we come here time and time again. It is only when you get to the end of your life, or after some very deliberate prying that you get access into all of this. If you do commit suicide, what will happen is that you will be very confused at first. Your soul will need time to heal and you will be given extra time to do this, to see your family, you will get to go over your entire life and see what you could have done differently. It won't be until after you have done it that you will know how wrong it was to do this and how easy the change would have been, just a switch in perception. Those who die by suicide are not sent to Hell or some place evil, unless you lived a life that was enmired in wrong action, this might be reflected back to you for a time. If this happens, the people who have NDE's that mention these frightening realms say that prayer and asking for forgiveness and mercy will bring the Light to you. The thing is - this is the kicker - death, just like in life is very personalized. Everyone gets something a bit different, but the anatomy is similar that humans have mapped it out to some degree. But your death is based on how you lived. If you want to know about death, look at it in the face. Research it. NDE's, terminal illness, murders, the decomposition process, the interpretation of different religions, memento mori, make a journal on it, in music, in art, it is everywhere. And finally, look your death in the face. Not as an interpretation, but actually sit with it in real time. You will die someday. What if that is tomorrow? Or now? What will you feel when you go through it? Go through that now with as much consciousness as you can. Death is actually a layer, you can peel right behind it in a very real way, and it will tell you what you need to know for your own unique circumstance. The keys to right action? Forgiveness, Love, Truth, Bravery, Sincerity. Follow these, while accepting your mortality and you can't go wrong.

I am not completely qualified to answer this because I have never been diagnosed with a terminal disease but I think I can share something that might be relevant. Also, this is purely personal and so may not generalize. There is this thing called passive suicidality, where you don't actually plan a suicide attempt but have thoughts along the lines of, “It's be so great if I that truck over there would hit me.” For me, every time I have something wrong with me and need to go to see the doctor, I sincerely hope that it's something fatal. If I have a stomach ache, I really hope that it's a cancer or that both of my kidneys have stopped working. If I have a headache, I really hope it's a brain tumor. When the results come in, I get really disappointed when it's something minor. So, if I get diagnosed with a terminal illness, I would be incredibly happy. Except I would really want to die without much suffering. So, in fact, it would make me more likely to do something about it since now it will be somewhat easier for my loved ones to deal with my death.

Who said God "should " be fair and just ? Maybe God is the biggest asshole you ever imagined and he punishes those who commit suicide with eternal suffering? I mean how would you know? You see,you gotta admit that you don't actually know crap about God,death, and the after life . Here's some reasons to NOT commit suicide: 1-One day, you will die anyway. What's the hurry, stay awhile. 2-Death is uncertain. You dont know whats on the other side. 3-life keeps changing. It is full of possiblities. 4- If you are a virgin : how can you end it , without even having sex.

If what comes after suicide is even more suffering and could be even worse, all the people in the world who commit suicide daily have to read this post in order not to commit it. It seems kind of unfair to me. I'm here enjoying the benefits of your wisdom, while they are there suffering and thinking they will get away from it by commiting suicide. Then they get an even worse life, while I, the lucky one, who read this and did not commit suicide, get a better afterlife. Doesn't make any sense. Spirits are either all the same or there is just one Spirit. At least God should be fair and just.

@Gabith, I believe that Galyna is right. Suicide doesn't end anything. Mind and body are two different aspects of the human experience. The mind spends a lot of energy on thought and emotional processes. The stronger the emotions, the more intrusive thoughts and the more power is used. Kundalini practice shows you this in black and white. Through the course of very demanding physical-breathing exercises and meditation in very uncomfortable and painful positions - you focus on your breathing. This allows you to observe the narrative of the mind, which finally screams, "you can't make it, fuck me, that's enough !!". The breath guides you through this scream and begins to distance you from it until it disappears somewhere beyond the horizon. Then these gigawatts of energy are at your disposal, and suddenly it turns out that the body you think you know is just going into some turbo speed. The expansion begins, which - this is the most interesting - you know well. Have a try. I recommend it with all my heart. Find only a truly committed teacher. And don't punish your body. It was not at fault, and turning it off will only make the fuss worse. Besides, it's a great vehicle—99.99% self-repairing, self-loading super suit. You need to know it well. You will see for yourself. Good luck!

@Gabith also please don't entertain thoughts of suicide. It always gets better. Trust me. All you need is patience brother.