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The thing is you don't know, and you have to accept that. It might be the case, that it would have much more upside than downside, or the opposite, but you don't know that, so you are committing yourself to the unknown. Maybe there is such a thing as reincarnation, maybe there isn't. Even if there is such a thing as reincarnation, why would it be guaranteed that your next life would contain less suffering than the previous one? There are many other assumption baked into your questions. Why would you assume, that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, that you would only reincarnate to Earth, or that you would only reincarnate as a human, or that your suicide won't have any karmic consequences?

@Ethan1 Yeah, thanks for hearing me out. My cousin died of suicide yesterday, she was 16. She was taking anti-psychotic meds, and I used to force myself to take the same when I was her age. I remember having better days lying about taking the meds rather than taking the meds. She probably didn't give herself that space of honesty. I'm resonating the most with anger through the grieving process right now because of how quick and easy healthcare still claims to sell treatment. It makes me sad that my cousin never even tried or was encouraged to try a vegan diet to better herself. I only got to cook around her when she lived with me about 2 months ago for a fortnight. She took her meds every night. She was better at drawing than I am. It's really shallow of the medical industry to not ask their patients to investigate their diets. At least with veganism you have an ethical view on your own sadness and an applicable problem to take the world up with. All of my relatives are certain she had a mental offishness about her we never could place. She seemed so happy with everybody, they say. Goddamn, if only she was allowed herself to smoke weed and trip like I did at her age. Still, I wasn't allowed by authority by any means. ___ This also made me think of something. I look back on all of the run-ins I had with the law as an attempt on my part to BE MORE NORMAL as a young person growing up. It was the rebellion itself that normalized my stigmatized mental illness. I was overjoyed one time, high on acid, laughing through my grandparents dismay, handcuffed to a gurney in the ER because they were fully aware that I was just somebody who didn't care. I was more simple than some new pseudo-illness that society has just realized. The episodes of grief that struck me before that epiphany occurred in revolt to what authority asked of me. Rather than having been an AFRAID STIFF ANAL mental patient listening to what mom said to take and going to church because she said so, that is who I became. Funnily enough, in my senior year, I ended up attending church anyway because I enjoyed going and playing in the worship band.

The invasion of Iraq wasn't justified on the grounds of the aftermath of the Gulf War of 1991, after which promptly the US sanctioned Iraq for 12 years until the full-blown military invasion and regime-change operation of Saddam Hussein in 2003. As we know it was justified on the now-proven subsequently manufactured and false presumption and claim that Saddam's regime in Iraq was directly, and indirectly involved or was also the one orchestrating the suicide bombing of the World Trade Center, Twin Skyscraper Towers in New York, US, while in fact twelve of those sixteen suicide-bombers were from Saudia Arabia and were indoctrinated among other things with the extreme wing of fundamentalist Wahhabist Islamist ideology that has/and still has to an extent it's main sponsorship in the Islamic world from Saudia Arabia, the US and some other western countries main petroclient and oil slushfund in the M.E. up until that point, we shall see if that still remains the case in the fututre now having this current conditions and mood towards it currently in mind, and on the false amplified and trumped up moral panic and alarmist hysteric claim that his regime was in the meantime actively working on a program, under heavy crushing economic sanctions and embargoes as a 'punishment' for it's Gulf War adventurist invasion generating a huge humanitarian and actual famine inducing crisis in Iraq in the 12-year time span in the meantime before the invasion, for manufacturing weapons of mass destruction to target American troops in the Middle East. Not to mention the fact that the US and some other western countries like France in the Iraq-Iran war almost openly publicly and actively backed Saddam Hussein with some modern tech and weapons in just 2-3 years prior to the Gulf War in invading Iran, which was then seen as reactionary clerical Islamist theocratic state regime that needs to be overthrown and strangled as soon as possible while it's weak in its cradle in order to get the Shah back in power and to secure that sweet Persian gulf oil for extraction for western private multinational oil companies for a cheap price of course. What's even more devilish and deceptory in the invasion justification itself is that a NATO country, the US in this case, for the first and one only time still in NATO history called upon Article 5, on the basis that it was attacked on its own soil, to call upon other NATO members to go with it in Afghanistan to jointly conduct bombing, miltarily invade the country and subsequently then conduct counter-terrorist operations within it, because the Taliban helped shelter and provide logistics and some collaboration to Osama bin Laden right before and after the 9/11 bombing while Saudia Arabia where the main bulk of the ideologically motivated terrorists that carried out that terrorist attack where from was magically left off the hook, spared any shared guilt, burden or responsibility for directly or indirectly providing a lot of the ideological basis behind the attacks, while at the same time engaging in regime-change operations of the Taliban government in Afghanistan as well and beginning its attempt of nation-building for the long-term, and it also tried to goad some other NATO members to invade Iraq as well on that same basis and justification and false claims and manufactured, distortedly presented evidence that Saddam Hussein was also involved in the 9/11 bombings, which most of them as far as I am aware of refused, except for Amerophile, cringe part of Poland, undermining it's until then principally held historical legacy as an often defensive, historically victimized, invaded and occupied buffer country with that hypocritical, cringe move, that actually sends some of its active detachments there together with the main invasion force. The fact also that France, which was aware that it was also actively backing militarily and economically Hussein during the Iran-Iraq war, outwardly refused, out of not wanting to jump in its own mouth, to participate in the invasion of Iraq, a country that it actively backed not some fifteen years prior and goading it to try to defeat Iran in the war in order to collapse it's newly founded unfavorable to it regime there, instead of the US or Britain, says volumes in itself about the actual proven, existing ulterior motives that went behind the justification behind that invasion operation and plan as well. So in short, to recap, a country headed by an unfavorable brutal, authoritarian figure for the Western economic interests at that particular moment, not from before I assume when he invaded another country ten to three years prior in which he was actually partially militarily and economically aided by some western countries to do so because that current regime is unfavorable to you namely the Islamic Republic of Iran, screwing up your economic interests at home and abroad in the Middle East by spiking up the oil prices because of his still partial at that moment invasion and occupation of the north of Kuwait, where the main oil field dispute was, until after the announcement of operation Desert Storm the Iraqi military proceeded then to invade it's capital city as well is you think a justification enough to bomb and invade a country, as a whole after imposing crushing economic sanctions on it, 12 years after on the basis on an unrelated incident to itself that involved most of the perpetrators coming from a country that also could be known to be even more barbaric, vicious and brutal, or you could say socially regressive and authoritarian in some social aspects than Iraq at that said time and which at that time most promoted and sponsored the ideology which motivated the main bulk of those perpetrators to carry out those world-famous terroristic attacks and acts but that is also needed for your oil flow and economic interests as a economically key partner and client in the Middle East? The fact, that you also said that you are currently living or from a country that was one of the main junior partners of the US in the invasion and the subsequent war-torn occupation zone partialization of Iraq during the regime change operation, namely Britain, while seemingly brazenly, proudly and in the open, without a degree of self-reflection and guilt, gish-galloping on inventing ad hoc reasons that first come to your mind as you go about the stereotypes of the history of that country for the justification of its bombing and invasion based on directly unrelated historical events and engaging in deliberate or undeliberate distortion and deception about the actual historical events and facts to seemingly fool people who know no better on it's history that led up to the invasion while simultaneously projecting on and claiming biases on others based on nationality is so biased, clueless, morally empty and hypocritical that it's astounding that there is not an actual degree of self-reflection and degree of guilt and consciousness regarding that involved here. You project and claim Leo is blinded by bias that you conveniently invented for him to project yourself (or perhaps your own guilty consciousness) upon by you asserting for him, almost as a nationalist authoritarian would, his main nationality for him to identify with in the Russia-Ukraine war, while you as a claimed and identified with Brit seemingly openly cheeringly and without a tinge of seeming guilt and shame actively go on about inventing cherry picked reasons from some selective pulled through events of Iraq's history as you go in justifying your country's past military involvement in the bombing and invasion of Iraq which left an estimated almost million people dead in total in its wake and aftermath several years after is so hypocritically morally empty and vacuous, astoundingly ignorant and borderline criminal that one should not even have to point it towards and out to someone if he is that un-self-reflective and unconscious regarding his own countries of origin and identification with past not so long ago crimes.

This forum needs better resources for dealing with suicide.

What is the downside? It looks like Karma is becoming a new God fearing symbol that punishes the bad. What if life is unbearable from chronic illiness caused by somethig and people problems? If there even is such a thing as a self that suffers the consequences of suicide, wouldn't you have already paid the Karmic debt in this life to some extent? Why not just go in circles until Earth grows to a high enough stage of spiral development and then you don't have to suffer as much anymore?

I am not a spiritual person and didn't really ask these questions in the past. Now that I am on the brink of suicide, these existential questions became more relevant to me. How do I find answers to the following questions... Who am I? Where did I come from? Where did existence come from as well as all these other people in my life that i don't get along with? Where are the Gods if there are any? Why isn't reality just nothingness the way it is every night I go to sleep? Why care about life when we are gonna die anyways and there is no life after this one? What is the difference between me and you? If nothing, why am I still here and why does it feel like we are different and separate?

Out of all the gazillion possible incarnations, I have incarcerated at the end of times. Thank you, God Personally, I don't believe in this Shunyamurti/prophet nonsense. Though, I can see that with the rapid evolution, things are slowly (at least for now) getting worse globally and for the majority of people. My thoughts is that humans will simply cope in some way that doesn't involve many major changes to the systems they have created. Though, the disconnection and polarization between humans will keep increasing rapidly, and at a higher pace. We will eventually become different species. Right now, it's only first-world to third-world. In the future (maybe a couple hundred years), it will reach like 50th or something. But all in all, the only way to wipe out this cancer called humanity is by some year-long meteor shower. Or maybe if the earth decides to commit suicide and explode on its own.

Wow, I posted on this thread or a thread like this a while ago (think it wasn't this thread). My first cousin just self-deleted today. She was 16 years old. Her twin brother found her dead this afternoon. Yeah, from where I'm sitting, suicide is not cool. I live with my grandparents, and I was told right before my grandfather arrived with lunch. He didn't know. We had a very difficult meal. He was his same joking self, and my grandmother and I kept making this solemn eye contact. When he finished his meal and let it be known to him, he let out a sound similar to a dog yelping in pain. I won't forget it. I won't ever get to see my cousin at a drunk Christmas party, or any future family vacation. I have to live knowing that I was one of the few who has harvested her soul just from direct contact. It is a direct experience that will no longer fathom itself. I literally saw her 2 months ago. Don't kill yourself, it's really selfish to have everyone who knew you regurgitate these unoriginal feelings of grief and mourning just because you doubt your living potential. Doing anything is better than self-deletion. If it prevents you from being a doormat, start a fight with teenagers who are cutting themselves in front of you while they are drunkenly confessing their pain. If you realize what can be gained from being just and important from that alone, people are the last thing that matters. Negative societal behaviors are really what you encounter, not people. If you are honest with this you become actually God, just and possibly capable of changing others to positive behavior because they are literally algorithm to you -- no reason to be afraid of a recurring algorithmic experience. Suicide is pettyyyy

It is true that suicidality is in a way nothing else than forgetting that you actually want to be here. And yet: If everything that happens during your lifetime is a product of Your (=> God's) will and creation, then doesn't that necessarily include the potential act of suicide? Could suicide even be a thing if it wasn't also part of God's plan? It's an interesting paradox, to say the least.

@Breakingthewall @Gladius + @everyone, yes, so, it appears slaves in ancient Rome lived a better life than me. That's fucking insane. Right now I feel terrible and feel like I wish I did not exist. For the past two days I was also feeling weak, afraid and hopeless. So yeah, my family is my enemy as well. They want me to suffer and fail. They lie, hide, manipulate, cross my boundaries, etc. It started in my childhood and now it is coming to an end. It is harder to attack someone selfish and basically evil than myself. I just have a problem with leaving my money and other stuff behind to them. It is cold here and I want to go to hell. I know life after death does not exist, but I feel this way now. Do you know any good charity organization, I know it would be terrible to basically ask one of you do you need money. My suicide is gonna be a result of society, family and a group of elites pushing me down, not this site, to be clear.

Dude. So many points about this. 1) Even if You someday wake up to your God Nature You will forget about it anyways. And then come back again. And then forget again. It's your nature to get lost in your dream. You forget because actually You WANT to forget. Even if You think You don't want to. 2) Fictional? Fake? Hell the fuck no. This is YOU. This is your LOVE for YOURSELF. Nothing about this is fake, depressing or a lie. 3) By "your own will"? Hahaha. That's a good one. It's the opposite. You have to get out of your own way. Let God into your heart. 4) You don't "suicide and onto the next dream". Forget about this crap. LIVE. That's why You ARE here, to BE here! You don't want to die. If You're thinking of killing yourself You don't have enough perspective and You're closed off from God. And I'm not judging You, because I've had these same thoughts. I get it, really. But I'm telling You - You're SERIOUSLY misunderstanding this shit if you think killing yourself is even a slightly good idea. Consider this small intuition exercise. Imagine You discover the Voice of God inside your heart. Now focus and try to imagine what would God tell You about killing yourself. Good idea or no? Hint: You can do whatever You want and God will NOT judge You whatsoever for killing yourself. But You DON'T want to do it! YOU DON'T. Listen to your heart! It was YOUR WILL to come here in the first place, ffs! 5) You don't have to let go of your family early on. In fact, LOVE them more than ever before. Be more genuine. 6) Yes, go for the objects of your desires, whatever they are. But not because "everything is already fictional" (which is bullshit), but because YOU WANT to. The more You awaken to God, the more You discover your Spirit, your deepest values and genuine desires. You will have plenty of things You want to do in life. 7) Ultimately I'd say I had similar thoughts to You and I'd just tell You to live through it. The further You go, the more You will understand that they were bullshit You can always PM me if You want to.

@Leo Gura @Pateedm @Loving Radiance ? Only twice a week do I ever plan to, but on some dates during the week I’ll just have one. So yeah, a bit. Not enough to get hungover. Btw, fwiw, that street discussion was a nice research experience for me. I talked to probably >20 very hot girls, probably in sororities (median age seemed about 20) and about a dozen other people, and what I noticed is that, in general, the hotter a girl is, the more self aware they are of their blatant attraction to men who are assholes (they brought up that initial topic, not me, but I teased out a deeper exploration) and their aversion to niceness… I already basically understood as much, but I wasn’t quite aware of just how self aware they are of it! But I convinced every last one of them that it’s not the assholes that they’re attracted to, it’s the guy’s ability to pull off being an asshole. They were acting like they’d just been enlightened when I explained to them the mechanics of how they felt, and I think some of them even walked away feeling less like they need someone who treats them like shit (and in turn, maybe even felt less like they have to act like a bitch ?) — but who knows. Felt like I may have made a slight positive impact on the world; butterfly effect and all that. Put yourself out there, guys and gals! If I can do it, anyone can. I’ve even dealt with severe erythrophobia (fear of blushing) — the subreddit for that condition is practically a suicide prevention forum… it can be so surprisingly debilitating. It’s directly a result of being ashamed of one’s own social anxiety, plus light enough skin and enough blood vessels in the face that blushing is extremely noticeable when it occurs. It used to be the bane of my existence. I don’t even notice it now — it may or may not still happen… I literally don’t even know, nor does it matter anymore.

I think you should take him to a counselor as soon as possible and be by his side 24/7. Convince him that suicide is a bad thing. Also console and comfort him. Most people who are suicidal are that way only for a while, they feel depressed for some time and a feeling of helplessness causes a person to be suicidal. This usually lasts a day or two. Suicide is always a reckless impulsive instantaneous decision due to extreme frustration and helplessness. Usually these feelings disappear when the person begins to feel safer. Your job is to de-escalate and comfort the person as much as possible during this window period so their overwhelming feelings begin to diminish and they start feeling normal again. Usually a person doesn't want to kill themselves. It's a temporary feeling of desperation that shouldn't be ignored. It's a cry for help. Our survival instinct is very strong and generally overrides such feelings. A suicidal person is generally subconsciously looking for someone to listen and understand their overwhelming emotions, they are looking to be heard, to be listened and to be accepted. Talking about their problems and letting them open up while patiently listening and letting them open up is a huge key to stop a person from suicide. Be there for them at the time of need. Hope they feel better.

My brother is in depression and told me that he might suicide. What to do?

Say me, 22 y/o guy, by my own will, wake up to my Godhood now and to how I'm creating every situation and person that I interact with. None of them have a POV, they're just figments of my consciousness and they only ever exist when they're in my direct experience, as well as everything else. At the same time, I decide that I don't want to die for whatever reason and instead gonna use my Godly power to manifest the life of my dreams and carry that through instead, since I don't see a point in living a life that I already know is entirely fictional, so I'd prefer to live out MY (ego) fiction instead. Now I've come down from the realization and I find myself in a mansion, some cool cars in the garage, billions in my bank account and a hottie waiting for me in the living room. At this point there is no denying that I AM God, that I am all alone, all powerful, and that this is just a very advanced simulation of my imagination. There is no bed to crawl under when I feel dread over my own existence anymore. No one else to blame either because there's no one there. At that point, what is left to do? Have I ruined the game/dream? How am I supposed to let go of everything that I've grown up thinking I knew and that I assigned meaning to over the years? Everything is reduced to 0, nothing, nada. I don't think I can carry on with the lie, heck, not even know, but even much less after that. And that's exactly the problem. I genuinely feel like I already know this is all fake, intuitively so. I feel to the core of my being that if I truly wanted to I could collapse the entire "Universe" right now. I could wake up right at this moment through my own will, because I already know I'm the first cause, always. Not a forum, not a psychedelic, not a meditation technique. It's ME... And this, is just all so saddening. Having to let go of my family early on, and that at this point I have no choice in the matter because I know too much, I've seen too much. And once that happens, I think I'll just suicide and onto the next dream, a clean slate... and that is just as saddening. I feel like I've already lost them, the few people I had in my life. And I am so young too... I wasn't ready for this (could anyone be?). On one hand I can't keep on living a lie of this magnitude, I just have to know the truth to keep going. And on the other hand, I kind of don't wanna find out because once there's no more doubt, I won't be able to bear the fact and I'll kill myself. I feel like I'm in the middle of a "unstoppable force meets an immovable object" situation and it's just dragging me down like you have no idea. I don't know what to do anymore, if there even is something I could possibly do.

my father died of that, it is a difficult death. If something like this happens to me, I would like to have reached the point where with total calm and with a certain joy of having fulfilled my duty, I can commit suicide and leave when I decide. although perhaps at that moment I consider that what I should do is suffer until the last moment. until that day comes, impossible to know

Exactly. Putin seems like he's playing 4d chess he doesn't really come across as a Palestinian suicide bomber or an American school shooter (who both basically take their own lives in the process). The thing that freaks me out is his ego being as his country and having an attitude of if I go then the world goes. That freaks me the fuck out if I'm being honest. I think the best thing that can happen is him to bow out in a way where he can save face. I just don't want his back to be so against the wall that he does the unthinkable. Then again I'm pretty sure there are procedures for such things and he doesn't have the ultimate say in doing something so destructive. Thanks for the response.

Another good figure in this space is Christian Picciolini. He's founded a couple of organizations like Life After Hate and the Free Radicals Project with the goals of deradicalizing far right extremists. The good news is that safety is not really a concern any more, because you can volunteer to help deradicalize people online. Just talking in Discord groups and stuff can help to make a big difference. Biggest thing to watch for, if you want to take this on as a life purpose, is that you aren't burning yourself out. "Fash Fatigue" is a common side-effect of engaging in these kinds of dialogues in an empathetic and understanding way. Some people like Daryl Davis have the patience and a special skillset that allows them to deal with extremely triggering conversations in an understanding and compassionate way. Most people don't. Nazis will shit-test you constantly and either try to convert/gaslight you or just hurl abuse at you, or try to trigger you so much that you give up on them. Even the ones trying to reach out for help who are flirting with the idea of deradicalizing. I know several people who tried to deradicalize and ended up getting radicalized themselves. It's like reaching in to save a drowning person, if you don't know what you're doing they'll probably drag you down too. If you want someone else to be open, the danger is you have to sincerely open yourself up too. I've been sucked back in myself several times. It's akin to signing yourself up to a suicide hotline with no training and listening to people talk about how they want to kill themselves for hours a day. It takes a huge toll on you, mentally and emotionally. It's extremely draining and there's no short-term return. You won't have someone magically deradicalize after one conversation, it's a long and winding process of addressing every concern and argument they have. It takes weeks or months, and in many cases you'll never get to find out if your work actually made a difference or not.

@at_anchor Speaking as someone whose parents made him weak and defenceless against bullies Sitting at your laptop discussing with online strangers and philosophizing about suicide is not going to help you. You're in a situation where you're not happy. Are you physically trapped? Behind bars? No. So stop letting this situation defeat you and take some action. You have legs. Walk away. You have a couple hundred dollars, or the ability to borrow them, so use that. Go volunteer at a farm somewhere far away, the physical work, nature and change of environment will do you good. https://wwoof.net/ Yes, you're going to disappoint your parents. Fuck them. When death starts to look attractive, you need to be aggressively selfish for a while and not care who disapproves. Just get away, what do you have to lose? You don't need anyone's permission, and don't let anyone tell you that you're ruining "your future" forever. Break free. It will be the best year of your life, and you'll be much clearer about what you want after that.

I've been feeling this way for the past few days as well. I'm trying to stave it off with observing my feelings, with writing things I am grateful for - but the truth is, I was on a path for a while and I felt good about it, but now I am riddled with doubt, with a lack of faith in myself, and I absolutely hate myself, my circumstances, and my body. I hate that I am sick, that I've lost so much, and I hate that I can't bounce back and make something out of it like so many other people are able to do. They've been through worse and are so brave and admirable and I'm... not. I'm just me. Some silly, pointless woman. What am I here for? Why do I exist? I can't even be a decent enough person to see beyond my own problems, either. Like, the world is suffering and I get that, but I'm so "stuck" in myself and my own issues, and I feel very guilty for this. I feel like a burden. I feel like any expression of these emotions is just some way to complain. I don't see an end in sight. I don't want to end up being one of those people who spend their whole day starving for something that they can't fill within themselves. I just want... to feel like I do when I am sleeping, or dreaming, where everything is spread out and it's so pure and pristine and in those moments I can really see what I am made of. And I think... this is real. This is it. If I could just stay here. But then I wake up, and I am back with all of you mutually miserable, sick people, just trying to make it through the day - and I wonder why life is so beautiful and so horrible at the same time. I am inundated with guilt for my existence. I don't think I deserve to be here. And yet, I'm too cowardly to just off myself. Maybe there is that glimmer of hope that things will get better, but I know myself too well at this point. It all hinges on this over-attachment to the spiritual world, and once I lose touch with it, like I have for the past few days, I feel lost and distraught. Like blinded and cut off from my food source almost. I think the pros of suicide would be that you would get a chance to heal, to see what you should have been doing in life and your purpose, which isn't so easy to understand - but the downside would be that you would know you failed in that purpose. And even though you'll be put together for a time, you still need to come back to finish what you started. If I had to come back into this world, like this, and I had even less than I do now to make something out of this life that I am responsible for, I might get caught in a cycle of killing myself, over and over. When I read these threads, I feel a strong sense of understanding towards people who have these feelings. It is really hard to get out of the cycle of wanting to harm yourself. Sometimes I will sit with these feelings for months, just to have a break for a time, only for them to come up again in some form completely unexpected.

I "confirmed in my direct experience" that the arcangel Gabriel appeared from the sky and told me my mission in life is to start a suicide cult... Connor Murphy "confirmed in his direct experience" that he is in fact a space alien. The judges at the Salem witch trials "confirmed in their direct experience" that everyone they sentenced to be burnt at the stake was a witch. 'Cause they got a funny feeling in their gut bro. My throat chakra is tense right now. I believe this means you are practicing witchcraft. Confirmed by direct experience bro. Off to the dunking pools with you! Thou ist a witch!

When you say you remained dead for 18 months, what was your body doing at that time? I spent most of the time laying in bed in a dark hotel/motel room, ordering vodka, cigarettes and food. I drank a lot of alcohol (about a bottle of vodka on average) and smoked about a pack of the strongest cigarettes I could find without a filter almost every day during these 18 months. Was Vladimir still talking, breathing, going to work whilst feeling dead inside? I could still breath, talk, think and move around. I lost all desire to do anything. All I wanted to do is to distract myself from the truth of what I have become. I did everything I could to numb what I was feeling and distract myself from a never-ending stream of thoughts and visions that tormented me. Was his body just laying in bed the whole time, like a depression? Yes, I was in bed most of the time, it was like a depression but much worse, I was tormented, I almost did not sleep at all during the 18 months, and when I did, I had terrifying visions. I would also have these visions while I was not sleeping with my eyes open, especially during the night. I had thoughts of suicide many times during this time, what stopped me was knowing that hurting my physical body would not alleviate my suffering. Would you say it was what people mean by a dark night of the soul? This was worse than any dark night of the soul anybody has ever experienced. I went through the deepest depths of Hell. I had gone through a very difficult dark night of the soul prior to this experience. That doesn't even come close to the depths of suffering I have experienced while being dead for 18 months. What is it like to be dead in a body? I felt evil, I became the devil. I saw visions of pure evil with my eyes opened and closed. I felt the root source of depression, loneliness, abandonment, guilt, insanity, ugliness, illness, bizarreness, shame, fear, failure, separation, chaos, evil, hatred, self hatred and all darkness. I felt like the entire Universe turned against me. I became the worst of the worst. I hated myself, everybody and the entire world. I could not stand being around other people, I avoided sun light as much as I could. I could not rest at all, time went by very slowly. It was like waiting on a death row in a prison of my own mind, thinking that the ultimate punishment of eternal suffering is inevitable. I felt like I had become the craziest and most evil person in the world. I felt like I had become separated from the entire world. I did not feel myself, I did not feel alive, I felt complete disconnection and separation from my body, myself and the entire world. What was it like for your wife, did she worry, could you explain, did she have to care for you? Yes she worried very much and tried to do everything she could to help me. She asked me if there is anything she can do to help me, I told her - no. She couldn't understand what was happening to me, nobody could understand what was happening to me.

I'm 100% sure it ends the suffering for this particular body / mind / ego. Couldn't tell you if it impacts future/past lives, your overall karma, or versions of yourself in alternate universes, if any of those things exist. You should probably Pascal's Wager it and assume that suicide will have bad intended effects on an afterlife or future lives though. Quantum immortality is probably one of the biggest dissuading factors for me. If the many-worlds interpretation of quantum theory is correct, then there will always be at least one timeline where you fail every suicide attempt you make, probably causing yourself even more pain and hardship in the process with each failed attempt.

I'd say it's temporary relief from suffering. Eventually, you'll have to deal with what you've tried to get rid of, for suicide does not lead to the desired resolution; in fact, it causes even more suffering which will need to be resolved. Everything is seeking resolution. People do unwise things, thinking that their actions will bring about positive results, only to realize that there is no upside, only downside. I'd say committing suicide is one of those actions.

Of course there are. Humans aren't irrational. Why would anyone commit suicide if there was literally no upside? If they're willing to do something so extreme, obviously there must be some advantage for some people. Can you think of any other activity that humans participate in, with zero pros? No. Nobody's going to put their hand on a hot stove when they have nothing to gain. Even when people self-harm, harming themselves is providing some pro for them. To cope with emotional pain or frustration, to regain control over something. The biggest pro of suicide is the end of suffering. It's a 100% guaranteed way to make any kind of pain stop. You can certainly argue that the cost of ending the suffering isn't worth it. But it's still a pro for people in the moment while they're suffering. The only situation in which I could ever see myself considering suicide as an option, is if I was dealing with excruciating physical pain or mental illness that didn't seem to have any other way of being relieved or a chance of ending in the future. I don't think anyone should ever commit suicide before exhausting all possible options. Even then I wouldn't recommend it. But to say that there's zero pros to suicide is disingenuous, it's like saying that you can't put yourself in a situation where you'd suffer so much that you'd actively want to die instead of continue.