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Okay so continuation from last thread of mine potential GF slay . So one of my thinking points is that if she moves from America back to me in ye old England (giving up the chance to live in America) , she will naturally be conditioned with amazing frames/ principles for life from being with me . List of some examples : -Starts wanting to sort out the unidealistic/ unconscious/ dysfunctional parts of life and has an attitude to work on these -is eventually led to understanding her spiritual experiences , see the very below -has an easy discipline attitude -has an example of a system of how to go about permeant change, and also the mistakes in going about it -Has an attitude for a healthy body and a healthy way of living -has an attitude to have some sort of purpose in life, -being more of a future/ self thinker, asking lots and lots of questions and having a pure sense of responsibility and independence Questions for all you Leo fan girls... From your experience - Have you had a gf/bf where they have adopted your very positive thinking patterns overtime, and did it positively effect them when you broke up or didn't ? -if she ends up not being similar to me in terms of not working on herself and building her life , have you had a similar situation and has that value dealignment been a deal breaker? Also just a very casual mention , if this is what I think it is, then she's the biggest spiritual baddie I've ever met , she contemplates the nature of reality and the many possibilities and her life every other day just by her pure unmolested nature, to the point where she has an existential crisis which leads her to experience absolute nothingness on a regular basis, which if I am not tripping is what Leo calls absolute infinity , and the Vedas say is 'the final solvent, sorry, the ultimate solvent into which somethingness finally dissolves , pinch me

I chewed and swallowed 1 gram of Magic Mushroom at 4:30 am. Then I sat on a Chair and started Meditation in my room. It was not deep meditation. I was just switching between meditation and open eyes so I can notice if there are any changes in my experience. After almost 20 minutes suddenly I started to Hear a Clear Sound of Silence (Beep with 528 Hz Frequency) like when we go higher on Mountains or airplanes. And the sounds of my surroundings became secondary. I became more present and started to feel distortion in my body particularly in the face. I was feeling confused and was not sure if these experiences are my misunderstandings or I am actually feeling all this in reality as a psychedelic experience. Now as my feeling was getting intense I started to get a feeling of fear as well. At 05:00 am I thought that what if I fell from the Chair I should go to my bed. So I turned on Meditation Music on speakers and went to bed and sat down there. Colors became more vibrant. I started to see blood veins in my hand. After a few minutes, I thought that this music was distracting me so I asked my Trip Sitter to turn off the music. And I felt that I should lie down at 05:15 am so I lay down. I was feeling that I am drowning in nothingness or void but I felt really scared so I was trying to resist this also and trying to remain in reality with my body. The reason for Fear was that it was my 1st Psychedelic/Spiritual Experience. There was dim yellow light in the room and I started to feel really congested. Negatively, like I am having difficulty breathing, I got an inner call that said go outside into nature so you can feel better and have different experiences with nature. By 05:45 am I asked my Trip sitter to help me to go to the terrace. I was able to concentrate and Focus on things and at the same time, I was confused also. When I came outside everything was very Fresh, Color Full, Vibrant, Bird's sound was really amazing, Echoes at the same time I was feeling like I am in High Fever, I was feeling High Temperature. I could See Clouds really clearly with different layers of clouds, I was able to see and focus in sharp, small details like Hand pores, etc.., Was feeling a little bit of distortion in objects, I was getting an inner call that let’s leave the steering of this body-mind and let me drive but I was scared to leave the control. At the same time, I was in the Happy, Giggling, and Laughing Mode. I was getting laughs and jokes on every worldly thing. I was laughing at everything like I am watching a real comedy movie. The whole universe was looking like a comedy and a dream as well. My language was also like a funny thing to me. The funniest thing was “Time”. I do not want to think or talk about time because it was the funniest thing in this universe. Because at that time here and now was the only thing that matters and I was sure that the Future and the past did not exist. I was getting inner calls that now don’t focus on this body and world because this world is a Funny Dream. Focusing on the world will cause you only laughter and nothing else. Leave this World, body, and mind and become 1 with nature or consciousness. But I had a feeling of fear and was trying to hold this Dreamworld. I was feeling Morphing in my body. Around 06:10 am my feeling of fear dissolved and I got an inner call that now I should get serious if I want to learn something new I was ready to go with the flow and was serious to learn, understand. Around 06:16 am I was feeling intense Joy, Calmness, Amazing, Freedom. I was feeling very trapped in the body like I am trapped in a very small thing and there is no oxygen and I wanted to come out of this world and body. I felt like birds were talking to me. I had a lot of compassion toward every being. There was a whole Universe or infinite Well or infinity in each cell, or atom, grain of sand, in everything. Focus on each object was sucking me into the infinity of that spec. There was infinity in each pore of my skin. Now I was looking at my body and all other things in a 3rd Person. Like VR Game Experience. My whole body was melting away. It felt like I have left everything but I am stuck at the back of my head. I was in total presence, I didn't want to hold on to thoughts and memories, and everything in each moment was perfect. There was Blind and infinite well in each thing, object or thoughts. In which well I was focusing on I was getting sucked into that thought or thing. I was not able to identify which sound is coming from where. I was getting aware of everything but was losing my sense of My Words and body. Everything was dissolving into nothingness. Everything was flowing like Air or River. Nothing was staying. Each moment was unique. I don’t want to talk about the previous moment. I was feeling distortion in Heartbeats also. Whenever I was laughing I felt like my mouth would morph into an infinite wide open. This body was feeling like a prison. Then my 2-year-old daughter woke up and came to me. I was amazed to see her. It was like I was looking at her for the first time. And she was looking cutest. There was a whole universe inside her eyes. I wanted to drown in the infinity of her eyes. For some time I enjoyed her cuteness and company and Now I want solitude so I can understand things more deeply. Sometimes my hands were looking like baby hands and sometimes it was looking like monster hands. Then I decided to go inside to enjoy a few things from the computer and for Meditation. I asked my Trip sitter to help me to go inside. And When I stood up I felt so amazed. It was like I am wearing VR Glasses and watching my body arms in the third person. My body was looking very small. But I was able to control my body and walk. When I came inside it was like I was looking at my home from inside the 1st time. The entry door of my room looked very small. I sat on my computer chair and started watching a few nature Pictures and I was getting sucked into those pictures. Then I Started to Watch the Documentary “Moving Art” on Netflix (Nature Documentary) and after just 5 minutes. I started to cry through my heart and there were tears in my eyes and while crying my feelings and thought was that I or He (God) is alone and has no one for the company to enjoy and these World objects, World Nature, etc..are the only Imaginations I have for my company. I or He (God) has nothing other than this dream and I had intense compassion and self-pity at that time. At that time I felt that Surah Ikhlas (Verses of Quran) is not just a surah it is a His Sad Story as well... Everything on the computer was looking very clear and sharp. Wisdom & Insights I got during this Trip: He is just exploring himself. He is infinite. Everything is him. He is happy and enjoying everything and wants us to just explore and enjoy. Enjoy the dream. Don’t take anything seriously. Then I thought I was wasting my time on the computer so I shut down the computer and came back to my bed and started Meditation. I closed my eyes and there were a few blurred and faded patterns. It was like there were infinite doors and He (God) was asking which door do you want to enter. Then I felt like laying so I get laid on the bed. Now I feel that my psychedelic experience is going to end so I thought now I should spend some time with my family. I came to my family room enjoyed the cuteness of my daughter for a bit more time than I thought I should watch myself in the Mirror so I got up and went in front of the mirror and I got really disappointed I was looking really bad and unhealthy and felt self-pity and asked myself that what have you done with this body which was a temporary gift to you. At 08:00 am I was back home from my trip.

I keep asking myself why I am doing anything at all, and it always seems to come down to trying to avoid or fill the emptiness within myself. I also asked myself what that emptiness really is and why nothing can actually fill it. I had the thought that the emptiness is always there because it is showing me my ultimate destiny, which is death. No matter what is achieved in life, it will always ultimately end in the same way. There is no avoiding it, and maybe the mind somehow knows it. But yet, the emptiness is precisely what is fueling all of my actions. The emptiness is literally the reason why I do anything at all. The trying to fill the existential dread of eventual non-existence is what motivates everything, even though everything is completely pointless. From what I have read and heard, everything really is nothingness, and reality an expression of nothingness. Enlightenment happens on death of me, the realization of the absolute is the realization of nothingness. Is it a coincidence that the expression of reality is fueled by the seemingly same thing as the expression of my actions? I do everything to avoid nothingness, and reality really exists precisely because of nothingness, because of the ultimate limitlessness of itself. So reality, by coming into existence, must fracture itself into expressions or consciousness, it is in some way avoiding nothingness, or trying to fill it with absolutely everything. I also remember that the ultimate goal of buddhism is nirvana, the absence of everything, meaning nothingness itself. The absence of everything means the ultimate absence of suffering. Does that mean that the expression of nothingness, which is everything, is in itself suffering? The avoiding of nothingness seems to be suffering, so doing anything at all is ultimately always suffering. Is that why nirvana is desirable, or not necessarily desirably, but naturally the end product of reality? It's like nothingness is expressing itself and pulling the expression back into itself. All expression eventually dissolves, but the expression exists precisely because it is nothingness expressing itself, so meaning nothingness running way from itself. Because of that it seems to me like existence itself is necessarily suffering, it is almost as if that's the very "point" of existence. Might that also be why evolution is leading us directly to the acceptance of nothingness? To realizing nothingness into all of existence and see no difference in life and death, in expression and nothingness. If the expression of anything is suffering, the point of expression is to eventually become nothingness. I know from a non-dual perspective the expression and nothingness are the same thing, but it still seems like a fundamental force from the perspective of the human mind. Suffering is like nothingness pulling something back into itself, and something clinging to itself. In other words, suffering is not just the inability to let go, it is metaphysically the object or expression resisting the dissolving into non-existence. That is what suffering is, it is not painful, it isn't bad, it just is what it is, and it is expressed within consciousness. This would be so interesting, because letting go of ego would not just be something happening in the mind, it would be something happening in reality itself. Then again, there is really seems to be no difference, because they both are the same thing. Most importantly, this would mean that creativity is a product of nothingness, and literally equal to suffering itself. The act of creation, or the act of nothingness expressing itself, is equal to suffering, because creation is fundamentally running away from nothingness. The fuel for human desire, for human intelligence, and basically for all of reality would then be nothingness. Suffering is not at all bad, it is just what happens. I think I'm not even using the conventional word of suffering anymore, because it is not just resistance, it is the fragmentation, the discrimination itself. That is why nirvana is the ultimate goal, it is not just the cessation of resistance, but the cessation of expression itself. The cessation of absolutely everything. It is not even really a goal, it is just what is happening. Everything is pointing towards nothingness because everything is nothingness and eventually folds back into itself. It's like god exploding while it is absorbing itself. Does any of this make any sense?

If that's a stable state, that could be the first stage of nondual awakening. The center point is gone, and there sort of a localized emptiness, like a ball of nothingness. There is still an idea of "me" though, it's just not the old idea. Once the idea of "me" is seen as a social fiction, that's enlightenment.

Yes it's possible to not return back to your body, it will be like sleep. When you start sleeping you might get a remembrance of who you're actually are if you don't resist your memory will be wiped of who you were as an ego. Then you won't have any remembrance how to get back. Consciousness is fluid, memory in the nothingness state comes and go's. _______________________________________ Your reality can also be altered forever when you're in the ego because you deconstructed reality enough , you will stay and keep living in the same conditions it's like developing a mental illness. But mental illness is not an illness it's just your consciousness stuck in certain understanding low or high etc @bmcnicho

Since Truth must be infinite (Infinity) you would have to be aware of infinity, All there is. You cannot do this because it is infinite. If you were in the Godhead for five minutes, you know "five Minutes" of the Truth, but you weren't aware of the Total because that is Impossible. You would just have to be everything forever. It is like the "number" 0, while theoretically possible, it does not exist because Nothingness cannot exist, there just is Everything and always has. Since there are an infinite amount of truths (our individual perspectives) all of them are neither true nor false. The moment we attempt to characterize Truth we already limit it, and it is beyond any limit and beyond any understanding. Words cannot do it Justice. Either you are Truth or you arent. ? Late night discussions i had with a friend...

It is to drop the self into nothingness. stop wanting and fearing, even for a few seconds. we are constantly controlling, interpreting, grasping reality. It is all illusion, we are not in control of anything, but the appearance of control allows us to have the illusion of standing on solid ground. It's not real, we're in the infinite now. this is existence existing and the controlling self is an illusion. it is seized, contracted, controlling every second, surrounding every instant with a capsule of mental flow, but this control is only illusory. Surrender is redundant because you're really already surrended. You just have to surrender a lie, the illusion that you control this moment with your mind, and open yourself now to the infinity that this moment is.

@Princess ArabiaMemory is nothingness and temporary, for example: You go to sleep and one day you deconstruct reality to a point that the reality itself changes to the realizations you have had. These realizations and your memory of it gives you a new reality based on what you truly have witnessed and seen in the nothingness (nothingness is where reality creation happens and you can take it with you same as meditation - you create vibration in meditation and send it to your physical body and then feel it for example) In your wakeful state you can be stuck based on the realizations you have had, basically stuck in a state of consciousness. Because the realizations/states are illusionary you might never find your way back, and you won't have any memory/realizations how you did it or how it happend. The only thing is to love yourself, accept yourself and let it be don't fuck around with god realization. God realization is truly a dangerous area

Yes. That is what I can confirm, and that sequence one can also find in every spiritual tradition. The bold parts of your text are excellent. Welcome home to a home you never left. What was your practice/path? The normal sequence is: 1. Practice (or just Karma/"luck". But I would estimate from what I have seen that for 90% it was practice). Efficient way: Meditation + psychedelics + integration work + many other things. 2. Many Awakenings (some traditions already call these Enlightenments)/ into stabilizing awakened nondual and empty/impersonal Awareness states: Into all these aspects (some aspects of Absolute Reality show up, like emptiness or nondual unity, love, timelessness, Infinity, and so on... But the separate-self is STILL yet not fully seen through). The separate-self gets more and more transcended, ones identity more and more empty and more like Pure Awareness, and then it gets nondual/unity with the whole visual field/manifestation. These Awakenings (field getting nondual and ones identity more and more just empty awareness) are normally caused by the practice that makes accident-prone. And then comes the accident that is called Enlightenment (that can't be willed, since that would be a spearate-self wanting that which is already the case, and by doing that covering it), and for which practice makes accident-prone. Enlightenment tends to happen for most only in very specific Awakened States (nondual/unity AND impersonal/empty). For that, I have written elsewhere (Mahamudra stage 3 (Awakened states of nondual and empty) "One Taste-Yoga" to Mahamudra stage 4 (stabilizing these states without doing anything) "Yoga of Nonmeditation). Bliss: These awakened states are already very blissful without needing external experience for that. 3. (Full/Basis/Great) Enlightenment into the True Nature of Oneself: Infinite Reality = Infinite limitless Impersonal and totally Empty Consciousness CONTAINING Infinite Manifestation, in an infinite Unity/Totality. The essence of every appearance/manifestation is the same Suchness as Infinite Consciousness/Awareness. A deep identity level shift, away from a separate-self to being aware that "one" is and always was the Totality/Infinite Reality/Infinite Impersonal Consciousness. Phase 2 is gradual(!), Phase 3 (Shift of Full Enlightenment) is a sudden and complete understanding into the eternal and immortal nature/essence of all of Reality (limitless) and ones True Self (Awareness/Nothingness containing all manifestation). It can not be mistaken, is sure, doesn't need any external validation (understanding it by being it, and IT is infinite/all there is and can be). It is totally beyond "any further" and beyond any need for any confirmation. It is self-evident. This insight/understanding/realization is "more assured/ultimately assured" (beyond any chance for being shaken again) because anything else can only possibly just be more phenomenal arising (including any sensory-arising like visual arisings, but also including any other (I-)thoughts/concepts/I-feelings/n+1). Why? To quote Ralston: IT IS YOU. Infinite Consciousness containg any possible appearances. Limitless. Infinite. Any limit would appear in IT. Empty. Any arising (tree, thought, I-feeling, anything) appears IN IT. Impersonal (onself can be nothing specific or personal, since one contains it all). And its Pure Awareness (without any location, without any second) itself. Potentially unaware if nothing arises. But always right here, never can not not be here, independent of whatever happens/appears IN IT. It is waking up. Its essence is understanding that the separate-self as independent "anything" DOESN'T exist (just appears as illusion IN THAT), and never existed (was always an illusion), and can/will never exist (even if in another life illusions-arisings will occure again in ones True Being/Reality. The Awakenings (2) are insights/understandings into aspects/properties of the nature of Reality/True Self/Infinite Consciousness. That then evolves, towards nondual/unity awakened states. And THEN the final big shift of full Enligthenment can happen, in which the nature of Infinite Reality/Ones True Identity as Impersonal Infinite Consciousness/Infinite Reality is revealed. 4. Stabiling this Enlightenment, and letting it reorient the character top-down and back again towards love/openness/staying in nondual impersonal Suchness ("BEING the Totality"). Even then still, the separate-self character can still hijack the show (peak, plateau, permanent), but the separate-self-character and its associated suffering has lost its mirage-like seductive power. Its essence (Suchness/Infinite consciousness) is immediately seen when feeling into it. And that holds true for all building blocks of the separate self. So lapsing after Enlightenment is just a hang-over from a long time of illusion , and once noticed any emerging separate-self-arisings can be killed/transcended by just looking into it. Bliss: A lot and growing, since the awakened states now get even more stabilized and are always accessible. When True Nature is known, and if the separate-self-character "hijacks" again the show: Just look into these arisings and realize again their essence as manifestation IN the Infinite Reality/Consciousness that one really is, and return to what one really is. While after (only) Awakening(s) (stage 2), certain elements of the separate-self-character are not seen fully through, or are NOT understood. One of the last stages is a very nebulous empty separate-"something" that is already in nondual unity with everything manifesting. But there is still an "Understander" or "a not yet fully understander" or some "seeker" -arisings there.... Roger Thisdell stage 4 vs. stage 5. Stage 4: stage 5: Maybe that is helpful for some. Please don't beat me. Selling Water by the River

Yes. Just to reiterate, my point is not something as naive as "thoughts are untrue" or "nothingness is the truest state." I'm saying there is a clarity of perception you can achieve (truth/enlightenment/self-realization), which prevents you from being metaphysically "tricked" by thoughts or any other experience ever again in terms of perception. It's not a specific state. It's a realization of what reality is and how it fundamentally works, that goes into all other states and exists in all other states, because it is absolutely true. I think the point that might be confusing you is the idea that experience cannot be thought of, which I still agree with. These posts might expand on that point more clearly:

How Quantum Physics, String Theory and science overall correspond with GOD-CONSCIOUSNESS-NOTHINGNESS-ILLUSIOARY REALITY-ABSOLUTE INFINITY-ONENESS-POTENTIALandACTUAL-INFINITE DIMENSIONS etc

My understanding is that God is not a thing. (Aka God is nothingness) So living as God means you become nothing.

Hm, since we were only two people this perspective did not come up. We did not think much about possible, impossible, limited, limitless specifically we thought more just about Infinity and Truth. Actually, no. We have concluded that somethings are in fact Impossible. Can consciousness Imagine Nothingness? What the fuck does that mean? Can 0 exist?

Spiritual Autolysis - Journal Entry #37 - Sun Aug 20th '23 - 4:23 PM Ben: Hi God, how are you?? God: I am good, how are you? Ben: I'm good, thanks.. how do I get in touch with the energy fields of the universe? God: You feel them. They are like currents flowing within and through everything, everywhere. You don't think about this or conceptualize it, you just feel it. Ben: But how though? How do I feel such a thing? God: You quiet your mind. Ben: And how do I do that.. God: By meditating. By going out into the woods, without your phone, no distractions. You can focus on your breathing if that is helpful, or focus on the speck on a tree. This is how you attain samadhi, by focusing on one thing for so long, everything else disappears.. and all that is left is the nothingness of the universe, the ox, Enlightenment. Ben: Okay, thank you.

Exactly. you drop the ego and let it fall into nothingness, without more stories. total surrender to the now, and the now opens, and reveals itself as existence, deep, now, existing. total. it is difficult to maintain. the mind says: I have to interpret this, let's see... then existence, right? But what it does? How? and you're out.

Okay. But why are you trying to dissolve the Mind? There are only states of Mind. Such as the one you are in now. So if you want to dissolve that state, just sit in meditation or take a psychedelic. Okay- well it is not relative. It is an Absolute. It is no different then the Absolute of Infinity or of Nothingness, or of no self. It is a facet of awakening. It's just that this one will be the hardest for God to come to grip with about itself. Because then it has to give up the idea of separation.

reality develops, it creates itself out of nothing, it is a true work of art. Imagine the empty nothingness, a seed that contains all the rules of this universe explodes. and from there, combinations, movement, testing, development, and at one point something like the human brain exists. pretty impressive right? when before there were only a few atoms combining. it is infinity creating wonders, beauty, art. the problem is that it seems that this universe has some baselines in which every ying has its yang. every dream has its part of nightmare. every creation implies its destruction. Detachment is a must to appreciate the art.

You don't know until it happens. Awakening is not knowing that you are god and stuff, it is letting yourself go into nothingness, completely opening your heart and mind to the unfathomable emptiness of existence, to the now, letting go of any human greed, such as the need to know, and settle in the now, that is the infinity. is, as has always been said, the end of suffering. It's obvious, if reality is infinite, what is the difference between less deep or more deep? It's only one Depth, the infinite. And infinity=nothing. When you let go your need of understanding you understand everything,

I feel there is misconception when people talk about addiction. We are assuming that the sober dualistic compressed state of consciousness is the only possible state of consciousness that a human reside in, unless the times he/she is using a chemical or meditating. This has been proven to be false in my experience. if I can go deeper into this, I would like to say some things: (this is not aimed to your reply but just in general, maybe some to @Bazooka Jesus) I wholeheartedly disagree when people recriminate that 'chasing' this high states of consciousness is a symptom or an action of addiction. What we are (our True Nature) is constantly seeking absolute dissolution, absolute power, absolute boundlessness. Now, some people might be pursuing this limitless expansion through unconscious means: Through material achievements (becoming rich, becoming successful in business, becoming the start of your sports team...etc) Through praise to their ego (social media, fame, etc...) Through trying to 'change' the world or reach people in a special way. All of this are examples of the intrinsic human nature: "Is never enough". And it will never be enough through material means. Because subconsciously each being is trying to aim and 'include' the total Singularity. When a PUA is trying to fuck the 70th girl, that's their inner nature trying to become limitless by including more and more, but you can not fuck Infinite girls. And you can not get infinite millions And you can not get infinite fame. And you can not get infinite business success. Is only when one realizes that trying to get to infinity by material beings will never end, that one start to investigate tools and basically just focus the whole goal of their life to be and produce this states more and more habitually, making their whole focus of life that. When you touch the explosiveness, light, absolute beauty and power that becoming boundless is, the idea of going to grab a drug and get high doesn't even occur to you. It would be like enjoying a 100$ bistec while getting a blowjob and having the idea of going to eat candy under a bridge while playing Pokemon. That would be kind of the comparison between what blissful and ecstatic states of consciousness the human system is capable of connecting to, vs what a chemical is capable of. Because I have tried most of the most addictive drugs in the planet and nothing touches the states of consciousness that I´m talking about. I know that everybody that touches that becomes an 'addict' for life. But that is another kind of addiction. Is a natural addiction. The natural seeking of Nothingness to become Nothing. Of the limitless to dissolve all bounds. Is the natural state of our being. So of course every being is subconsciously seeking that. And is important to seek that consciously because if you do it unconsciously (through material means) you will burn up the planet, hurt people, do a mess in the world. The planet or humans can not be used as your infinity toy to stretch for you. You knowing how to make yourself explode into boundlessness is the only way to to go. Namastèeeee ?

Buddhism does believe in God, the Nothingness they refer to, the Void is God. They just leave out the love aspect. Christianity makes sense with the Trinity. The Holy Spirit is the Divine Feminine, The Father is the Masculine, and the Jesus represents YOU, which means YOU are Jesus when you awaken to Oneness you reach the State called Christ Consciousness which is just Oneness. It must be a sober baseline persistent state though. Hinduism is not wrong....EVERYTHING is GOD. Saying Everything is God is the same as ONENESS. So the issue isn't the religions the issue is not properly interpreting the religions.

Good shit! Is truly shocking to realize how the mind has constructed all the questions. Actual nothingness (not ideas of no-self, but actual non-localization) is extremely addictive, absolutely ?

Yeah, sometimes i'm like "isn't it my time to be buried and disappear forever in nothingness yet" haha.

“You are not you--you have no body, no blood, no bones, you are but a thought. I myself have no existence; I am but a dream--your dream, a creature of your imagination. In a moment you will have realized this, then you will banish me from your visions and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever—for you will remain a thought, the only existent thought, and by your nature inextinguishable, indestructible. But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better! Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago—centuries, ages, eons, ago!—for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities. Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane—like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell—mouths mercy and invented hell—mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites a poor, abused slave to worship him! You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks—in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier. It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream—a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought—a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!” Satan, The Mysterious Stranger

It's just an idea, so don't worry. There isn't a thing which can lack consciousness. This is a contradiction. Furthermore, "nothing", or "nothingness", is very conscious and alive, by necessity. Anything that exists or is experienced is enmeshed in a conscious experience. Everything is as conscious as you are, unless you imagine it isn't. This is a human bias to interpret "nothingness" as some soulless void. Your ego is simply co-opting whatever you experienced and misinterpreting it into some ideology. Consciousness is capable of all sorts of wacky and ephemeral states, but they are not now. You are neurotically clinging to those states. There is nothing special about that state, it is equally as valid as what you experience now. Can consciousness imagine everyone as a robot? Probably. Can consciousness UNIMAGINE all of that and turn everyone into a real person? Yes! Of course! You were doing exactly that before. But, NOW, your ego is stepping in and saying "But...it's not real!! Stop imagining that! You're not allowed to imagine people anymore, remember what you saw?? Stop imagining! Stop connecting with people!! Wahhhh" You can intuitively feel that reality is not dumb enough to limit itself to just some mindless robots, but the intellectual ego in you clings to the ideology, and so resistance is created inside of you. You are just trying to live some intellectual theory you crafted from some experience you had. You have not thoroughly explored all the possibilities. Mental resistance always just comes from ego in the end. That's a big indicator.

That infinite Void was nothing but your own Consciousness as God. There is nothing outside of Consciousness and you are IT. The discussion here is not about a void of nothingness- it is about free will and whether something "over there" controls you. It does not. It does not because you ARE Oneness itself. You are IT. Reality cannot go anywhere because it has nowhere to go.