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Ok sorry. Heck the more awakened beings here the better. He was a bit immature and I don't sense that from you. Anyways - welcome aboard.

I didn't so Michael Jackson truly awakened.....wow...who would have known? What is existing? What does it mean to exist?

Seeking out a mate is instinctive and socially driven naturally creating a competition among us. It also seems the norm that the collective ego sets the rules and runs the show. Especially for all worldviews in the Spiral Dynamics first tier. For those with no understanding of Spiral Dynamics may make much of what I opine on make little sense or create understanding. That in itself sounds like an arrogant statement. My statements made above may have also sounded self congratulatory or for others somewhat cringeworthy. For the most part you're right about masturbation being perceived as a failure. For a good number of folks it's definitely not something to discuss openly. Imo, guilt and shame from far back into our history spread by dogmatic religions. The early Roman government responsible for much of it. They incorporated many pagan ideas and holidays into the make-up of early Christianity. Also the Council of Nicea with all of its contributions, interpretations and editing of the Bible. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea I see little difference between Fundamentalist Muslims and fundamentalist Christians. This applies as well with some sects of Hinduism and Buddhism. Maybe Pure land Buddhism,,,,? Contemplative Christianity, Zen and maybe Tibetan Buddhism, and Sufism I view differently, I'm really ignorant of so many sects of different religions and philosophies. How I've condensed my views here has also extremely simplified and left out more than was said probably. I don't mean to pick on Catholicism but it's pretty plainly documented that it's influence on Christianity had more interest in how to manipulate, influence and control populations under it's control. I recommend https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/223887.The_Jesus_Mysteries for those interested. How to control people? Divide them against themselves with shame and guilt. They take an instinctive biological function and create badness around it. Masturbation can appear rather earthy and crude and something not to be displayed in public. In my understanding porn did more to grow the internet than anything else. https://www.quora.com/How-has-pornography-driven-the-development-and-utilization-of-the-Internet That says a lot in how oversexed we are as a species. The earth is becoming overpopulated anyhow. Not everyone is meant to have children. Philosopher Arnold Keyserling in a talk once referred to his penis as "that toy I have down here between my legs that God gave me". This quote from memory so it may be more of a paraphrasing. In many cultures and social circles I fall into the category of being a complete loser. I don't rely on my Culture for approval. This statement should counter anything I have expressed as being boastful. Although by some there might be an interpretation of some kind of spiritual egotism. To be honest I still observe myself displaying a bit of spiritual egotism at times. It was much more pronounced 20 years ago. This may seem offensive to many but being a Zen Devil (having spiritual egotism) is just a part of attaining any kind of ,,, I'll say "waking up" to higher levels of consciousness and understanding. I try to self observe with brutal honesty and sit with the uncomfortableness that may be there. Leo's 3 part series on self deception is gold. The way out of all these dilemmas? Actualization! Which to me includes the huge categories of psychological integration and individuation to discount the notion of guilt and replace it with the experience of remorse for whenever we violate our own awakened conscience. I can be really opinioned but try to remain open to new ways of understanding. I often have trouble book marking. Below I'm pasting a recent post from my journal on my understanding of conscience. Acquired conscience vs. Awakened conscience I'm full of bullshit sometimes and I'm okay with that. Because it doesn't matter, If I wasn't okay with my periodic bullshit ways. I would be divided against myself. I try not to dismiss or justify my errors but sometimes I probably do. When I err and it causes someone else offence or hardship I try to sit with it and cook. Remorse of conscience informs me and does so properly. The self sustained stain of guilt is a perpetual vicious circle. It's a worthless burden put on mankind by dogmatic religions. It's my experience that guilt blocks the awakening of conscience. So self forgiveness is a necessity and also to see what you don't like in others is also within oneself most often. When it's noticed. Everything is cancelled out. To borrow a line from Rob Brezney. "My morality is always on the verge of collapsing". My automaton or animal is an absolute slut. Guilt is often mixed with acquired conscience. Acquired conscience changes over time and is different between different cultures. This is our conditioning and super ego. Our internalized critic that doesn't come from our inner self but rather an auto-pilot critic from childhood conditioning. We should show kindness towards our elders because even though they had a hand in our conditioning; they've carried this burden longer than us younger folk. Awakened conscience is different and is the same in all awakened people. The 'language of the smile' is a cousin to awakened conscience. Awakened conscience is the intelligence of the Cosmos. It's the golden rule. Do unto others as you would want to be treated. We're all fools and a variety of them as well. A ship of fools is my so called "I". Make yourself vulnerable and Insecure people will mock you sometimes. This can grow you. Forgive yourself as needed. If anyone does you wrong and makes you angry. Forgive them so you won't hate yourself. Over and out. See you later alligator,,,

@Leo Gura I think you are the most awakened teacher I have ever encountered. I've listened and watched hours upon hours of content from you (I didn't miss a single video since late 2018) and I listened to other teachers as well like Mooji ,Rupert Spira, Osho,etc .I can tell you know what you are talking about. But sometimes I feel that The things you say are not delivered quite well to the watchers/listeners. Why so?! Because, we, human beings are not only about listening and seeing. We need to be engorged in the subject in order to fully understand it. To absorb a topic is not easy. Your videos lack some spices, like photos, designs, scenes .anything to capture the person's attention. Instead of Just your face talking .tbh it gets me sometimes bored . Why not add short videos or more pictures to your videos? Also another note Is..We have an average concentration span of about 3 minutes. Some say 5 minutes. These giant ass episodes consisting of 2-3 hours are really difficult to watch at once .I know That's why you started the clips' channel. But why don't you try to lessen the duration of your videos to be in the range of 1-1.5 hours ? I hope your channel's audienc grows,and that you add some flavour to your videos. Much love ❤

@Breakingthewall why do you think Leo says that no one here is awake ? Its like this: Not everyone needs to lift weights and get great body definition in order to be fit, right? Some people might simply want to do some cardio, some Yoga and others might choose to not exercise at all. Your body will manage. Life will not be utterly miserable or anything. You won’t die. But someone who wants to achieve the peak of fitness, health and shape will need to lift weights. Right? So similarly, a spiritual awakening enhances your life experience; you live life at from a completely different level. But those who are not spiritually awakened might be living good lives too, and they might not even feel the need for an awakening. They are blissfully aware of the spiritual dimension, yet life feels good. IT IS NOT EVERYONE’S NEED TO AWAKEN IN THIS LIFETIME. It’s not even everyone’s need to be spiritually inclined in this lifetime.

haha I get your Point , but this you know only when your awakened . TIll then life seems as real as it is , with limited identifications , fears , biases etc.till that point what would be implications of reincarnation? because after that point maybe this doesnt even matter

I will start by saying I don't watch Leo's videos, maybe 2 or 3 ever, so I don't know what's in them but you wouldn't know that without me telling you. I do agree that there are many biases baked into human psychology over thousands if not tens or hundreds of thousands of years with regard to sex, gender and associating traits with one or the other. I have made effort to transcend these and purge the biases as I come across them in my own mind, always even still, but I often forget that even if I don't recognize my words as reflecting them they still may trigger others because our society isn't free from them. So I really do apologize for not realizing how it could come across even if I didn't intend it that way. The dogma pile comment was a joke I was using with another poster, who I presume is male but this is the internet so I may be wrong in presuming it and that joke was just a theme I was using with them. It wasn't intended to be applied to sex or gender but used because I was already trying to discuss it with the initial person and they jumped in, hence 'dog piling'. Again, I will say my initial comment wasn't intended to be about sex or gender and I need to make more of an effort to realize the internet doesn't always communicate nuance well and my words can be taken in many different ways. I do make that effort already but as it appears I need to make MORE of an effort. I also agree that there is quite a bit of sex and gender bias that is found everywhere in society. Even in supposed 'awakened' spaces like this one and I hope not to contribute to it anywhere. Please accept my sincere well wishes to you and your partner.

Not an NDE. Many years back I was spending most of my time pursuing awakening, traveling the world sitting with awakened teachers, receiving shaktipat, and other energy work. I was also doing very disciplined spiritual practices daily. At some point during all of this I began having spontaneous out of body experiences. At first it was frightening and I thought maybe I had died. As they continued to happen I was able to travel farther and get answers to many of the questions I had about consciousness, life and reality.

Not speculation or parroting of ideas and belief's you read or heard from others. What truths or insights have you personally awakened to and verified enough that you are now completely solid in their truth? If you can share your method for receiving your insight's, that would also be helpful. Thank you! One of my own is that consciousness is not generated by the brain. I became certain of this after many out of body experiences.

You guys don't understand....I just had another awakening tonight...its ridiculous...you don't even need psychedelics....just contemplate continually and open yourself up...and it comes in!!! I was shown some more glimpses...why we are here....its just so share our love for ourselves...this is why what Leo is telling you...is so counter to why we are here, but it also makes sense....because...he has to embody his own teachings...and its scary. But he will do it...he has no choice in the matter...because God wants to reunite with itself...so God will. There is no bad, there is no good, there is no right or wrong, there is only God playing a game with itself and all that happened is God fell asleep and needs to be awakened. It is really that simple. Its so funny...I was literally shown...everyone really is you!!! Its so funny, its so freaking funny!!! I see why only serious people are asleep!!! Its too funny!!! You don't even need psychedelics for this!! At all!!! Maybe 1 or 2 trips to loosen you up, but after that you don't need them!!! There is nothing to contemplate so deeply after you awaken!! Leo is searching for something that isn't there. Leo...its all you!!! What is there to be afraid of? Its you!!! Everything, ever person, its freaking you!!! Don't let your ego pull you back again....lol.

Precisely due to that God is free, and there is nothing outside God forcing it to have negative thoughts. As it is it's own source, you cannot blame God as an outside entity outside yourself for your negative thoughts. You are responsible for them, because you are God, and since you are free, you can change them. And it doesn't seem like you're actually awakened to what God is, if you say it is evil, other than holding God as a belief on an intellectual level.

Personally I’m yet to experience this infinity of Gods. My awakenings suggest there is nothing existing except what is held within my consciousness. It has that solipsistic taste each and every time. I can only imagine that the infinity of Gods is an extension of that, not actually that there’s something going on somewhere outside of it. The unraveling of my life and all it’s stories and characters and form during awakenings leaves no room for another God doing it’s own shit outside of what I have been imagining. With the collapse of time and space I can only see that others lives as such are myself, in the same one and only eternal moment, and from the same one and only eternal place of nowhere, basically just here and now. Just God in a different state, therefore seeming like a different place, different time, whatever. That may seem like I would deny other people having an experience whilst I myself have one. Where as in actual fact I don’t, as from the state of being the other person then that experience exists, right here, right now. But paradoxically I do deny the experience of another, because awakened enough in a high enough state my very own experience is seen through to have never ever happened other than the swirl of imagination I’ve wrapped around myself. All in all, I can’t give a definitive answer other than as far as I’ve gone personally. Nor would I pretend that I can confirm the infinity of Gods realisation for what it’s supposed to be communicating

I kind of compare it to having a mystical experience through a substance or a meditative state then after the substance or state wears off it appears as if this 'awakening' went away with it. This is a dynamic of our awareness and the content of awareness. While the induced mystical experience is happening it has our full attention so it's prominence and impact is amplified in our awareness. In everyday life the roles that we fill to navigate the world requires attention to actually fulfill the roles. Now, as we fill the role in every day life after we have had an awakening experience this role usually has strong identity association that will entice us to believe we are that role. When that happens it can limit our conscious experience to a state before awakening. It is a skill that we exercise to be able to keep the awareness of that mystical experience while simultaneously fulfilling the roles of every day life. The skill is in being present fully in the role while being present fully in awakened awareness. The more we exercise that skill the more fully we can fulfill the roles of every day life while we have awakened presence. The highs of the mystical experience is stretching awareness but the lows we exhibit are more indication of our consciousness. So, sure, every day life with the socialization and the struggle for survival can distract us from being presence...if we allow it. On the other hand we can go through every day life with the fulfillment of being presence letting that be expressed in everything we encounter. Just something to consider.

I don't necessarily know if I'm enlightened. I know I view the world in what I consider to be an awakened state, but that doesn't mean I'm quite as awakened as the Buddha. I do know that I let go of many of my friends when I began to awaken. I began to search for more real, honest and true friendships. I lost interest al gatherings . So, I isolated myself by searching for truth, and now I've begun to find like minded people. I'm not so isolated, I simply don't search to be accepted by others People want to be surrounded by people like them. It's a big factor why the average (high IQ individual) has less friends than the average (low IQ person). There's just more average people than there are brilliant. If you’re in the top 1% of intelligence that means that literally 99% of people are going to be below your level intellectually (and therefore possibly mentally, emotionally, socially). Imagine you're in the top 1% of enlightenment. That means you're going to want to be in a community of or friends with similar people but there just aren't many.

Precisely. Look around you. That is God. God isn’t a being that created your experience. God is your experience. What else is there but the present moment? What is your post here about then? You clearly affirm “present moment is all there is” in your post here. This makes me question whether you know what you are talking about or are just playing games. Do you really know or are you pretending to know? The present moment is here and now always. It is Absolute. There is nothing behind it to explain it. Being is prior to knowing and explanations. You can’t conceptualize Being, which is a problem you are falling into. All conceptualizations occur within Being but can never explain Being. It seems like you just want to model reality and create stories to sustain your dream rather than deconstruct it. The last thing you want is for your bubble to pop, so you spend time creating your bubble using spiritual concepts to trick yourself into thinking you have popped it. But really you are preserving it. See how tricky the mind is? The biggest deception is thinking you have awakened or figured stuff out when you really haven’t. But hey, that is the mass hypnosis that 99% of people are under. What you are really asking me in “how do you explain the present moment” is to create a narrative for you in how the Dream exists, which is just another way to dig yourself deeper into the dream. Whatever you think is the cause of your Dream is a dream within your Dream. As you can see, all of this is the opposite of awakening. What we are doing here is finding ways to keep ourselves asleep. You are inside of a Dream, wake up!

This. This right here. Is a note you are writing to yourself, in real-time, to remind yourself of something. These words cannot Awaken you to new knowledge or discoveries, because they are coming from you and your body of experience. They are only words which are completely relative and subjective to you. It is the perfect time to receive these words, for they are not being received--they are being given. You're imagining a different writing style from yours in order to maintain the illusion of an other-self writing these words to you. This illusion makes you feel cozy, so you want to continue the game. Why would you stop? Why would you possibly want to keep writing THIS nonsense? Why are you so eager to escape that you talk to yourself in 3rd person? Stop doing that! You continue because you are looking for something. You always do. You are obsessed with condensing the purest of knowledge and wisdom into the smallest yet deepest bite-size chunks of symbols. You've imagined that as mankind's chief aim, ever-elusive. There must be a better way to share this knowledge with others! And what do I share? You've found it all but you keep searching. You can answer every question from within but you keep asking. You're sitting on a giant pile of gold and jewels, like the great dragon Smaug atop his hoard, but you realize that getting lost in its beauty is empty and meaningless. The little voice in your head that's proofreading and asking if this journal session is worthwhile or even stupid... I hear that voice too. It stops you from writing more on that tangent. What is Awakening? That's the question that brought you here. You're convinced you know, but you keep asking, don't you? There's always a seed of doubt that's rooted in duality and ego and mind, or something like that. You imagine others saying they 100% know and have stopped asking, because that's what you think you want, and it gives you something to hope for, doesn't it? But not. You. You have doubts and fears about many things, but especially about Awakening. You are awake enough to intuit that there's no one else to ask or trust. And logically, that should solve the riddle entirely. Yet you keep searching... You keep folding in on yourself, over and over, like an infinite sheet of paper. You think you're getting deeper but in reality you're going nowhere. You're like a toddler playing peekaboo in the mirror. Hoping to see someone different, you play this game for what feels like years. It's not only silly, it's completely psychotic. You try to observe this behavior from the outside, and see a neurotic, drug-addicted ape who loves yelling "HE HE HE HOO HOO," to himself in 3rd person (yes, monkey language has 3rd person). Atop your hoard, you start to feel hungry and sad and lonely and longing. This bounty was only worth something in your village, you think to yourself. Up here in the stronghold inside the mountain, it might as well be guano. What did you forget? What metaphor can you use to describe it? It's like this, it's like that, but no, WHAT IS IT? GET TO THE ROOT, you say. OH MY GOD THAT'S A METAPHOR TOO, you write. Fold. Fold. Fold... A cute, polkadot origami sculpture of Purrsian cat sits before you. It reminds you of your childhood. You smile. Back then it was simple, sweet. Right now it's convoluted, haunting. What is Awakening? Let me tell you what I think it is. Awakening is working a retail job you hate for 8 years, suffering from mental illness, and hardly experiencing any joy or love for your entire adult life. It's wrestling with the idea that you ultimately put yourself here to experience this particular life, despite saying you'd never wish some of your experiences on your worst enemy. Awakening is punching out the clock, going home and reliving a slightly different version of the same day you've had for several years. Awakening is accepting that this is the movie you wanted to see. Are there worse movies out there? Having awakened, You laugh at such an untenable concept. You laugh at the image of the ape. Then feel empty again. Submit topic.

Integral Zen has multiple shadow work courses on their website that are pay by donation. I haven’t done them, but have heard really good things about Doshin and enjoy his YouTube videos. I would start there as it will shadow work taught by someone who’s actually Awakened, which will give a very different context and intensity.

Hello Actualized.org, I was recently pm'd questions regarding meditation and felt like the answer may help others, so I made this post. I've included the original questions and answered each one by one. There is a lot here and a lot more nuance I missed, but the post was already getting quite long so hopefully this is sufficient. Happy to further elaborate in the comments. To start, there are three main strategies when dealing with physical discomfort which of course applies to fatigue. 1. Who is uncomfortable? Become extremely clear on who/what is experiencing fatigue. Who exactly is the one "fatigued"? Of course you've probably heard many times "no one." But what does that actually mean? What is the nature of the thing experiencing the fatigue? This is where spiritual fantasy and bullshit flies out the window. Because until there is extreme clarity on this point, physical discomfort will continue being a problem. When it is recognized the fatigue or discomfort literally cannot touch who you really are or what you really are, both become significantly less meaningful and our relationship with painful sensations, in whatever form, permanently shifts. The practice of self inquiry helps here. Technique #1: Self Inquiry 2. Craving, Aversion, Purification, Enlightenment Let go of stories about the sensations of fatigue (or discomfort). Often times, the degree of the fatigue we are feeling is reinforced by the beliefs and unconscious/unspoken stories we're spinning about the sensations of fatigue. Without the belief needing to manifest through language, we interpret the sensations of fatigue through a deeply unconscious conceptual framework. This framework then reinforces the implicit, unconscious, and unspoken beliefs we have about the sensations, reinforcing whatever it is we believe. In this way, a small amount of fatigue or discomfort can spin out of control into a larger problem. To get really grounded, this #2 manifests in the emotional body as craving and aversion, which are defined as the pushing and pulling on experience. We experience a little fatigue --> We have a story about being tired --> Aversion towards the fatigue --> Fatigue intensifies because of aversion --> etc. We've now created a negative feedback loop. To get out of this loop requires mindfulness, discrimination about what is craving/aversion (a symptom of our beliefs) and what is the raw sensations (fatigue/discomfort). When we can sort this out using mindfulness, we bring equanimity to the craving/aversion which "purifies" it. This purification literally starts to purify the mind of the craving/aversion such that the mind begins to experience less and less of this mental activity. Two subpoints about this. Literally by paying attention and discrimination the craving/aversion vs. raw sensations of fatigue, we "purify" it out of the mind. It's actually that simple. Deceptively simple. Face the craving/aversion head. Where are these sensations of craving and aversion appearing? Within the fatigue itself, utterly entangled and undifferentiated from the fatigue. You need to untangle both, see both clearly. 2.i All craving/aversion manifests because of an ignorance about the nature of reality. This is why classical buddhism defines complete enlightenment as the ending of suffering, suffering is essentially craving/aversion. If one where to truly see into the nature of how things really are, the mind would not crave or be averse to anything. Only equanimity would remain. Yet because we hold certain beliefs/conceptual frameworks in the emotional body from ignorance, craving/aversion arise. 2.ii As this purification continues to take place over the days, months, years, and decades of formal meditation practice, fatigue actually becomes a source of bliss and believe it or not, energy. When the mind no longer fights with reality, all that's left is the energetic actuality or fatigue's reality. Fatigue is a form, is a manifestation of existence, is a reflection of god - all form is simply a composition of energy, a dynamic flux of impermanence. The best way to work on point 2 is Vipassana meditation, I would specifically recommend Shinzen Young's See Hear Feel technique. Technique #2: See Hear Feel #3 Energy Cultivation It is also possible to cultivate energy using specific meditation techniques. This can sometime manifest as kundalini, as a more sensitive energy body, as tingling sensations permeating various subtle energy channels in the body, or like a furnace in the dantian energy center. By cultivating this pranic energy, you literally start to have more energy on demand. Rather than recontextualizing the fatigue in #1, purifying the aversion to fatigue in #2, we're actively engaged in combating fatigue in #3 through this energy cultivation. My most recently meditation retreat, I was formally practicing around 14 hours a day, informally the rest of the day, and only sleeping 4 hours per day. I did this for 1 week and was focusing on energy cultivation the entire week. By day 4, I had an overflow of excess energy, enormous unknown reservoirs had opened up filling me with levels of energy as though I was peaking on LSD except enormously cleaner, purer, and more harmonized. It challenged everything I thought I knew about the body, mind, and vitality. The technique I used was simple, Focus on the breath sensations in the stomach. The inhalation process was natural, without any volition, will, or agency - a totally surrendered inhalation that was as shallow or deep as the body wanted. The exhalation process was extended and powerful - I would balance prolonging my exhalation all the while keeping the exhalation forceful. Imagine a long, forceful, slow, peaceful breath - these are the kinds of factors we're balance. As you use this technique more and more, it not only cultivates energy that stays with you throughout the day, you can return to it whenever you need AND it begins to become the normal breathing pattern when using any meditation technique, thereby facilitating a more energized practice overall. Technique #3: Extended Exhalation, Breath Concentration - The balance of all three of these will address the fatigue. All three of these points have enormous depth with how far you can take them yet each provides immediate results. If you are searching for emotional excitation, emotional stimulation, the bubbly, pleasurable feelings of happiness many people define as happiness, then yes and no. On the one hand, any sort of fixation you have on achieving a particular state can backfire. Yet on the other hand, the ability to generate these bubbly, pleasurable feelings is possible with shamatha meditation and is a skill I would highly recommend (technique #3 above is shamatha meditation by the way). However, the only way to successfully generate these emotions on demand is to be totally at peace when them not arising. If you're clinging to the generation of these sensations, you'll most likely fail. As you train your concentration with breath meditation (technique #3), happiness, joy, pleasure, deep calm ease are all side effects. Is this enlightenment? No. Indispensable tools? Yes. Pro tip: Hold a soft buddha smile as you formally practice and throughout the day. You'll be happier, the bubbly pleasurable kind. Now here's the thing, if you knew you were already happy, if you were awakened to the kind of non-dual nature of absolute happiness, you wouldn't mind sitting and doing nothing. The suffering you're experiencing as you sit is a tangible symptom of your unhappiness and ignorance about the nature of reality (see #2 above) as well as ignorance of your true nature (see #1 above). Hence, this is why you should practice. To actually awakening, not slip into beliefs about awakening. To say "why don't I just stop doing this and lay down where I will immediately find the peace and happiness that I'm looking for?" is like a drug addict using a chemical to relieve withdrawal symptoms. A bit of an extreme analogy, but the fundamental principle is the same. Meditation practice is highlighting a dissatisfaction you have with reality and rather than facing it with the light of mindfulness awareness to see its truth and thereby purifying the dissatisfaction, the mind wants to turn towards distractions that offer a temporary relief. There is no guarantee life will give you an opportunity to distract yourself in the moment of great pain, in the future. In all likelihood, the most painful, tragic day of your life has not yet occurred and when that day comes, there will be no bed to go lay out to ease the pain. The only thing you'll have is the quality of the mind, the depth of consciousness's awakening. The first sentence's logic is entirely backwards, in my opinion. When pain cannot be avoided, that is when it matters most how much we've purified the mind. Not just because we'll suffer less as a result of past training, but because the ability to make clear, wise, and compassionate decisions that affect others matters. Furthermore, sometime's and many times, unavoidable pain is the worst kind of pain. If we have sufficiently purified the mind and seen into our true nature, unavoidable pain is not actually productive, or helpful for our practice. - The bold only applies when seekers have poor teachers, poor practices, or are not actually serious about discovering the truth. In reality, the wisest and most effective forms of seeking are completely selfless. Seeking energy does not require a self. In fact, because there is not a self, seeking is not grounded in being a self. Therefore, when the illusion of self is seen through, only then does the real seeking begin. The illusion of self contracts and contorts the seeking energy which can create dissatisfaction yes. But when the seeking energy's source and nature is experienced, it is allowed to manifest without resistance and is WAY more effective. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water here. I would offer the possibility that what you're missing is a clarity around how meditation works and a lack of depth in practice. Which is totally fine! The fact is, to find real peace, to find the truth about existence, is going to take real work, not fantasy, or belief. This path demands 24/7 mindfulness, 24/7 contemplation, 24/7 prayer, it's not something we pick up and put down based on our feelings, our states, or our emotions, and is not something we can afford to put down when things get hard. To really see serious results of practice requires 1 - 2+ hours per day and a minimum of 1 week long meditation retreat per year with a good teacher. This is basically scapping by though. Therefore, if you have not done a meditation retreat sign up for one immediately. Shinzen is doing an online zoom retreat Oct. 22 - 29th, would highly recommend training with him while you still have the chance. If you've already done a retreat in the past, sign up for your next one immediately. After you've finished a retreat, immediately sign up for your next one. - This all being said, sometimes there will be times when you feel the need to soften practice, to ease up on the intensity. Flow, enjoy life, be slow and have faith in not only God, but in your self, have faith there are no mistakes and you are exactly where you need to be and only where you could be. I hope this helps my friend. Hopefully this helps some others in the community as well.

Weren't you claiming to have awakened to absolute solipsism just a few months back after having watched Leo's deleted video three times..now you're claiming other people have their own experiences which only proves you're not conscious at all. You're one of the dream characters

You can probably answer that yourself if you have ever awakened from a dream at night - which you have. It's identical. @Ry4n yeah.

Dreaming can include suffering but it is not suffering itself. You don't need to suffer in your dream the ego creates its own suffering but you transcend this through understanding. Awakening and becoming lucid also helps. I'm not saying awakened beings can't suffer - but they can see it for what it is and then rise above it. And don't bring up physical pain either - that is also imaginary, believe it or not. It too can be transcended. @Jake Chambers Good luck on your journey friend. We are One. One day you will look through my eyes and type these words. And one day i will be looking through yours.

I'm not sure nihilism is the right word for this cause I'm having a stereotyped version of it, probably, but I've become either disgusted or bored with people, and I'm wondering : can you give up on people and still be considered awakened? I feel like the answer is no because Love is also incompatible with giving up on humanity, right? But what's the point on not giving up on humanity when clearly, the vast majority wants to die and is so egotistic it would rather burn the planet than stop being egotistic and slow down on capitalism and superfluous confort?)

@Inliytened1 If you dont mind me asking, from you own experience, how would you describe the contrast between asleep and awakened? What is the major difference?

I would say Oneness, you are always one with your experience. Basically Experience is God or what you call reality. Experience is also Self, an infinity of selves the infinite ego. I really don't understand the demonization of ego on the forums. The ego is a barrier to God because of attachment but once you are aware of the ego and able to detach then you no longer need to view it as some impediment. Your psyche is your ego, your speech is your ego, your walking gait, the amount of times you blink, your clothes, your smell, your likes/dislikes this is all ego. Do people not realize the absurdity to demonize the ego? They think oh I am meditating so I am separating from the ego....lol. The ego IS REALITY. They say, quiet the ego is an illusion....lol. So is reality an illusion. They say the ego is a creation....so is reality. The problem isn't the ego, the problem is you think you are one ego, instead of infinite egos. That was the purpose of Leo's video about Free Will. It was to reveal to you if you identify with Infinity, then you have free will. So what does this mean? If you are demonizing your ego after you claim to have awakened....then you are not awake. I'm not saying you tolerate your ego's out of balance shenanigans, I'm saying don't judge it like its some separate devil that you do not claim.

Just an interesting video I thought I would share. Getting back to ego death.. What the guy describes in the video I would say is actually awakening. You are aware that you are not your ego, but the ego still has it's effect on you. I would say what ego death really is, is when you have been living in an awakened state for a while and have noticed your ego so much to the point where you no longer properly identify with it. At this point you may have an identity crisis and go through some hard times... Is this correct? Has anyone experienced this and if so how did you deal with it? I had this realisation that there isn't really a 'me' (awakening) the other day. It was very profound at the time and then I became scared, worried of the implications it would have on my /love life etc. Then I started to see more of the positives to it. Since then I have been very calm and still for the last few days. At the same time, I feel like I've uncovered something that is non reversible. It sounds awful but its a bit like opening pandoras box LOL. I feel like I don't have a choice in being on this path now and that more is going to unfold without my will. The only thing I can compare this feeling to is from when I experimented with drugs for a while. I spent a few years experimenting with drugs and had a few experiences where I was high and actually believed that I had uncovered another reality, the way it really was... This reality I thought I had uncovered is very similar to what I feel now. The more I think about it the more I trip out. LOL I just hope I don't end up in a mental ward..!