Search the Community

If you have abnormal psychology to begin with you will be more mentally unstable, especially with awakenings. It's not cut and dry at all. As I said, there are thousands of different awakened states of consciousness and no such thing as one "enlightened" condition or "naty state". This is a myth. People with abnormal psychology will have a very different spiritual path than normies. Most spiritual advice is for normies. It will not work if your brain is wired in some unique way.

These distinctions are bogus. As I explained in my State Of Consciousness Is Everything video, everything is a state of consciousness and there are many kinds and degrees of awakened states. There is no such thing as "enlightenment". This is one of the biggest errors of modern spirituality.

The awakened is functional, the insane is not functional. If you are not able to compose yourself and be chill, there's a problem. If you are not able to handle your own basic survival needs, there's a problem. If you are not able to be happy, there's a problem. If you are not able to interact peacefully with others, there's a problem.

At the end of the day, experience is an uncontrollable and self-automated process. The saint should receive no praise as they had no choice or alternative, even if to the untrained mind it appears that they did have a choice. Similarly, the psychopath should receive no hatred as they also have no control over the matter. The same is to be said of awakened or unawakened people. They also had no choice in arriving at either designation. Life lives itself. The only question is: how well can you live with that? Solid post btw.

Since Leo awakened I feel he might disagree with some of the stuff he said in his old videos. So which videos should I avoid?

Basically, once you become permanently awakened, this experience will be your default state. Just keep in mind, the wall and the room is not 'true'. It is just as much of a concoction of your mind as your sense of self. This was a solid glimpse. You are on the right track. I suggest doing the technique I've posted here and see how it helps along with self enquiry:

Twin flame experience with a dark energy being I had a twin flame experience with a dark energy being for a time. Our natures were equal, not one lesser than the other. He was dark and I was light. In the beginning his energy was dense, lacking in light or balance. When the energy shifted his energy shifted along with it but even at his brightest, he was all shadow. He was a highly awakened feminine, with psychic abilities. We were ancient friends from many lifetimes. Apparently I had been a mystic in many lifetimes previously and he was there along with me, tormenting me, loving me, his knowledge span far outweighing mine but not in his wisdom. He would whisper in dark tones into my mind. Very different from the tones of my other twin flame who is of the light, masculine. The darkness for me is related to the feminine principle for some reason (Shakti). And the light with the masculine principle (Shiva) The dark being would glow with a radiance that was unmatched. He was sublimely beautiful and worshipped. Although infinitely selfish. He thought this radiance and glow (Shakti, energy, manifest) enough, and that love was not necessary. After all he was worshipped and adored. ‘My’ Shiva is love. ”Shiva is love, Shakti is life. Where there is love, there is life”

I don't think it's possible to understand anything without at least one layer of interpretation. That's how our minds work. We need to have a framework to base our understanding in. Understanding doesn't just appear out of nowhere or occur in the ether. It needs a mediator, and the main ones are intuition and language. But even intuition requires a certain level of interpretation. That's my observation at least. Any thought I think, and any word I say is already an interpretation. I haven't yet found a way to bypass interpretation. We have science, which is a lot better and more accurate. If I want to understand something, the first place to go to is science. I don't think the universe has desires. Why would it? The universe can live with or without humans. It will still exist regardless of humans and their awareness, so what's the point of it wanting humans to do this but not that? Evolution is an assumption. We don't even know if it's real. Maybe all that's happening is just coping, shape-shifting, and role-playing between forms, but no fundamental evolution. I do the same as you when I meditate. But I don't have as much free time currently. I used to do 8 hours long meditation sessions a couple of years back, that was when I first awakened. Now, I mostly meditate for two hours a day max, and I even skip some days. What's that thing? That's how they got wiped, not why. Why were they wiped out if they truly understood consciousness? Shouldn't that understanding have been enough to help them protect themselves somehow? Or is strength the ultimate card in existence? (I pick the latter option). And most importantly, where's their good Karma when they needed it the most? But regardless, I even doubt that's how they got wiped in the first place. A stronger culture doesn't just kill everyone from the weaker cultures. Rather, they kill some and enslave the rest. So the wisdom that any culture must have had, should remain and automatically get embedded in the new dominating culture. I'm witnessing this directly as western culture has invaded mine. My culture didn't just vanish, it simply incorporated itself into the stronger trends. The way I see any culture can get wiped is if a better culture comes and replaces the delusions and misconceptions of the earlier one. That seems more like nature to me. There isn't an absolute good or absolute bad, just better and worse. And the better always trumps the worse out of existence. You know I like and respect you and everything, and I really hope that this won't damage our friendship, but in all honestly this sounds like nothing more than hippy daydreaming/morality. The alternative for me is working with reality as it is. Reality is this way. I wish it was some other way, but it isn't. So I have to adapt and change in order to fit and survive.

I’m not going to pretend I don’t know what I speak about. Psychedelics highs are not enlightenment. That is not an opinion. That is not a need to be right. It’s a fact. And you can go find and look up teachers who’ve done massive dose trips that have also awakened and they’ll tell you the same thing ever time and that’s been valid in “my own path” in so far as that statement makes any sense at all. So I don’t just believe people in what they say. If that’s how you read what I say, cool. That’s fine and you’re free to do what you want but in the end I’m going to call it out. I’m not outright dismissing psychedelics but I’m calling it for what it is and isn’t. You actually aren’t being some innocent “I don’t know anything” seeker with your projections that I’m suggesting some monastic dogmatism is somehow necessary. I was pointing out the demand for genuine real work for most people as that seems to be how it goes. Thank you come out of nowhere calling “that Buddhist dogma” and making false claims regarding psychedelics and the belief that psychedelics trips somehow awaken people when in fact they don’t. They might open people’s minds to resize there’s more to self and life than meets the eye but that’s not awakening. That is what I was calling out and it isn’t an opinion. It’s not just some preference for some teachers over others. Those that think conditioned experiences are realization of the unconditioned unborn nature of that which is Absolute are wrong. In the same way those that think 1 + 1 = 4 are wrong. Or confuse Mexico and USA on the map. It’s not an opinion. And if you think spiritual teachers aren't clear and deliberate in calling out people when they’re wrong, again, you don't know what you’re talking about.

Oh the projection. No. I didn’t say people need to become Buddhist monks or go into monasticism. I was very clear about what it was I said so go back and reread what I said. Now let me make sure I’m clear, once again, on this forum. Explain to me how every teacher out there that’s done more psychedelics than probably anybody on this forum will ever do that’s ACTUALLY awakened consistently says the same thing - THAT’S NOT IT. But no, you think you’re up to something different. Ralston can tell you. Lol even Ram Dass himself has said it. I know the guy who was the lead manufacturer of LSD in the world in the 60s and 70s that did doses as high as 20,000 micrograms and when asked if that was it I get a one word answer - NO. Funny how Leo doesn’t share the story of when Brendan Lea, the guy taking over Ralston’s gig at Cheng Hsin, literally went over to Leo’s place when challenged on whether 5-MeO was enlightenment to do it and still said “NO”. State changes, peak experiences, and whatever it is you think and believe it is that’s going on is not enlightenment nor will it ever be. All conditioned states are precisely that - CONDITIONED. Temporary. Transient. They are not the unconditioned Absolute. It’s still the same narcisstic ego and sense of “me” that believes is having all those experiences. But go ahead, deny all those that came before you that will consistently tell you the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Keep thinking you’re special. Enlightenment and the True Nature of Reality is beyond the mind. And regarding your projections on me thinking you need to go to some mountain cave is a projection. There’s also a reason retreats and intensives are 8-12 hours per day of sitting. So although I’m not saying one needs to do that, I’m not stupid enough to believe most people are going to be deeply liberated from the bondage of self while picking up chicks or pursuing a 6 figure career. I’ve never seen it. All the many people I’ve been fortunate to meet in this lifetime put in inhuman amounts of work because by and large that seems to be what it takes for most. All you people that think getting high on your couch for 12 hours is just cute. Awakening on the one doesn’t require anything and at the same time, by and large, takes enormous amounts of work. I’m not a Buddhist nor do I subscribe to any dogma. I report what I consistently see again and again and again and again. And there are patterns. If actually believe a tool like Andrew Tate is somehow a good man and not a scum bag after all that’s been shown of him god help you. Shows how weak your masculinity is.

At the age of 33, the "Jesus Year" I had a powerful, life changing spiritual awakening. For the first time in my life, I have awakened to, what I now understand to be "Divine Feminine". From the age of 16, since I got my first computer, until the age of 33, I was living in what I know understand to be "distorted masculine". I spent most of my time during the next 17 years figuring out how to make money online and a lot of "partying" (with alcohol and cigarettes). The awakening to "Divine Feminine" was so amazing and powerful, I knew I was searching and longing for it my entire life. The awakening of "Divine Feminine" has also awakened the "Divine Masculine" in me on some level. I got a taste of what it feels to be truly alive from these experiences. After having a few of those experiences under medium to high (heroic) doses of magic mushrooms, I realized that I have A LOT to learn. I was doing my best to document those experiences by journaling so that I could integrate as much wisdom as possible and extract the most value from those powerful trips. I still have most of those trip reports in my OneNote library. During these awakenings I felt the power of the divine, true life force, holy shakti awaken in me. I knew I could do and be anybody I wanted and I wasn't wrong, but there was "a catch" - confusion, loops, fear, awkwardness, I could see the old patterns of "distorted masculine" very clearly in myself and I was trying to figure out how to "heal, change and let go" of those conditions and patterns so that I could embody the glory of my True Self that I would always get a glimpse of during the trips. I had a burning desire to learn how to navigate psychedelic experiences so that I could embody my true self, and that became a priority in my life, I immersed myself fully into spirituality, with the main focus being on psychedelic awakening. There is so much that happened during the next 6 years, I am 39 now. I experienced the depths of distorted masculine so that I could awaken to the deliciousness of Divine Feminine and the glory of my true self in the most beautiful way possible. I have gotten to know the polarity of masculine and feminine on a very deep level, I understand it better than anybody else in the world. I have gone through the most difficult journey to understand the source of the cause of suffering in our world. To gain this understanding, I needed to directly experience the depths of unfathomable suffering and then come out of that darkness so that I can have absolute understanding, forgiveness, and gratitude for everything. I will be recording YouTube videos soon for my channel Life Craft, I will be talking about this subject in more depth. If you watch my upcoming videos you will see the embodiment of balance of masculine and feminine and authenticity that you haven't seen before. Much gratitude for this powerful question love. Love, light and blessings to you beloved sister. How the Polarity of Masculine and Feminine Played Out in My Awakening.mp3

Just an update as to what I've been doing. Today I was practising tuning into the angelic consciousness -Breath- on the mental plane (at least that's what it tells me, that it's a reflection) by noting all words around me. All words are now embedded with angelic consciousness, Breath. I'm hoping by tuning in I can increase my self love and therefore increase life energy. Synchronicity increases with contact. I think synchronicity means increased communication with mental plane, specifically angelic consciousness. I'm hoping it will spread from words to other things, like people. It seemed to be doing so today. Update: Yes it does spread to other things, it spreads like wildfire. This might be a solution to my sometimes depressive state. Angelic consciousness is the true self of the cognitive entities in my psyche. It is the spiritual plane peaking through, since all is Breath and angelic consciousness is Breath. They are awakened aspects within me reflected back to me. The mental and spiritual plane cross over. Techniquely angelic consciousness is on the spiritual plane since it is Breath and Breath is Love and ‘experiences of love and oneness’ are under the spiritual plane. However I receive information that they are reflections and simultaneously on the mental plane.

Right but that's not all you've taught, c'mon now. The technicalities are just as important IMO. It's like if I were to gift you a Rolex watch that you've been wanting for over a decade and you're going crazy about it. But what if I told you that I actually stole it during the middle of the night and had to kill the 2 guards in turn to get it. The appreciation and excitement would die off rather quickly. And Love is a very conflicting thing indeed, because everything is it which means you can suffer every single day of your life and have that life be seen as equal by God as the perfect life of riches, travel and good experiences with family, friends and partners is to us. So telling someone who hasn't awakened that "everything is love" is gonna do nothing but confuse them.

Much gratitude for sharing this beloved brother. What you have shared here is very beautiful, profound and powerful. Thank you for your courage, beauty, honesty and authenticity. I see you. Your dream is filled with very powerful symbolism and it powerfully resonates with the story and journey of my life. I feel happy for you that you have experienced this paradise, it sounds wonderful! From what I am able to pick up from your share, you are going through a very similar experience that I was going through: 1) a burning desire to embody and awaken to the glory, joy and beauty of Paradise that somewhere deep down you know is real 2) The on-going, everyday struggle with the battle of the fear of the unknown - what will happen to me and what do I need to go through to awaken to this Paradise? 3) The greatest fear of every human being - eternal torture, aka - Hell. 4) Search for solace in someone's words, insights, quotes, books, songs poetry, visual and other forms of art. I felt a call to share a personal life experience from my life after reading about your dream and the questions you have because all of the symbols that you have described relate to it. I grew up in Russia, Siberia, in a city called Novosibirsk. Me, my brother, mom and dad lived in a 9 story apartment building, made mostly of concrete, on the 8th floor. There is a playground or courtyard, called "dvor" in Russian, in the middle area of these apartment buildings where my brother and I played as kids. The entire dvor could be seen from the balcony of our 8th floor apartment. When it would start getting dark, our mom would come out on this balcony and call us home - "malchiki domoi" - boys come home. In 2020, for mother's day, I wrote this poem for my mom (translated to English from Russian): I wish a ray of light In your soul does not fade away Whatever the darkness of the night The golden dawn is near I heard your voice as a kid - boys come home And once again I hear your voice Through the fog and darkness and blizzard - son it's time to come home Your voice, your voice I remember the way home Your voice, your voice Will take me home Your voice, your voice Loving, affectionate, kind Your voice - golden ray of light Like a wolf before the moon I howl bittersweetly into the dark About that dream, about her O fairytale's happy ending I'm telling the truth Mama I love you To me, what you have shared about your dream, the episode about my mom calling my brother and I back home from the balcony in Novosibirsk, the entire life journey I had to make to come back home to myself, to know my truth and the hero's journey are all analogous and closely related. What you have shared about your dream and the questions you have asked have gotten to the very depth of the purpose of why I have started this thread here at actualized.org. I know the Truth - I carry the gifts of salvation from death and suffering for humanity, the world and the entire Universe. I have conquered the greatest fear of all humans - Eternal Torture. How was it possible for me to do this? The shortest answer is: Shamanism. You, everybody and the entire Universe helped me do it. So what am I doing here on actualized.org, why do I want to answer all of these questions? My intention is to embody the beauty of Truth that I have awakened to, that I know. My intention is to get myself ready to fully step into my power of who I was destined to become since the beginning of creation, and to do so in the most skillful, wise, loving, kind, gentle and intelligent way that I possibly can. The biggest obstacle that I am very much aware of is this: there have been many others that claimed to be "me" in the past, the false prophets, the false Jesus Christs, the ones with inflated spiritual ego. So why am I any different? It's understandable why people would think and say that I am in a "messianic delirium". Vladimir the Jesus Christ from Siberia? I thought Jesus is Jewish and has long hair and beard, I thought he was supposed to descend down from the sky with a choir of angels accompanying him, I thought Jesus can walk on water and spread the sea. Can you perform those miracles Vladimir? This reminds me of William Wallace's monologue from Braveheart: Wallace: Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace. Young soldier: William Wallace is 7 feet tall. Wallace: Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. I am William Wallace. I am Jesus Christ and I'm in the process of awakening to my full power. All of you who are reading these words now, are amongst the chosen few to witness the earliest stages of my awakening. Feel the power, magnificence, glory and gratitude in those words. The second coming of Jesus that many have predicted is here, I am here and I am speaking the truth, I am the chosen one, yes the messiah, the savior that humanity have been waiting for. I don't come alone, I come with my beloved wife, my true love - Maria Magdalena and a tribe of light workers. Magdalena and I are the true love that have saved the world, yes already saved, love has already won, have solace knowing that. Behold the majesty and beauty of a True Love and Paradise awakening right before your eyes. Okay great. Jesus, I believe you are what you say you are. But what about me? And how many more will have to die? How many more will have to suffer? Am I safe? Am I safe from torture, pain and suffering? I don't know the answer to those questions, I only know that I and my beloved woman are safe and the embodiment of our True Love is the power that is powerful enough to save the entire world. The best you can do is to align with my truth and have faith and trust that what I am sharing here is the Truth, believe the words that I'm conveying to you here in the best way that I can. Also, know that you are contributing to God's most important work here by asking me these questions, especially questions that get to the very bottom of it, which is what you have touched upon here Gabith. You are helping me actualize and embody my Truth in the most beautiful way possible. The bible scripture puts what I'm trying to say here very eloquently: So what's the take away from all of this? Believe, have faith that I am Jesus Christ, the Lord, listen to my teachings for I am the sage of sages, I know the Truth, align with my truth and you will have your salvation and you will awaken to the Paradise that I have awakened to and embodying and actualizing every day. By aligning with my truth, you are alleviating the suffering for yourself, everybody around you and the entire world, this is what the entire Universe wants for all of us - Freedom, Liberation from Fear and Suffering, Love, Harmony, Pure Life and Joy, Eternal Paradise, Immortality.

I understand that you seek to ground everything in your own direct experience and throw off the false authority of contemporary spiritual teachers. In the end even the Buddha told his followers to be a light unto themselves! All that I am objecting to is the way that this is framed as though anything other than your own direct experience is sheer nonsense. Just because you claim to have arrived at a point in which any external teaching is no longer of any use, that doesn’t invalidate their relative value. What is more enlightening: TYT or the Corpus Hermeticum? Not are, were! We live in the ashes of human civilisation. Boasting that you are the most awakened man alive in 2022 is like being proud of being the tallest man at a midget meet-up club! The bar is set so low…

Yet, with respect to everything other than the pure possibilities of consciousness, you yourself are completely uninterested in anything other than your own beliefs, which then ironically contaminates your teachings about consciousness itself. For example, you recently claimed that “no human has ever become a spiritual trickster”. This is just laughable. Likewise, the fact that the Earth is conscious was commonly understood in all pre-modern human societies, as was the possibility of shape-shifting and adopting animal or superhuman forms of consciousness, but you are so ignorant of human history - except through dumbed down YouTube spirituality or some mediocre “Integral” books which handily reduce the grand complexity of human existence to a few colour-coded stages - that it is all misinterpreted as being some grand new awakening that nobody had ever understood before. Anyone who challenges this is quickly dismissed and if they do so too incessantly will be permanently dismissed! And since you have drawn such a harsh distinction between consciousness and everything which is merely human, this unstable mixture of advanced spiritual realisations and your own attachments to “petty human bullshit” is destined to become more and more volatile, as we have already seen. This is why I have recently called you “the most awakened bug-man”. While you have attained to advanced states of consciousness, your assumptions about human life are exactly those that one finds among the modern secular materialistic bugman: we are just apes on a rock in space and there is no greater purpose to life than “just enjoy the ride, dude!”

What most of you are not getting here is that Leo has awakened to Troll Consciousness

You are not the most awakened being there is. It comes off pretty painful to see you insist on it, from posts to posts, when what is happening is a clear case of an ego co-opting awakening/ and intellectual insights as a way to strengthen itself. It's pretty basic, and easy to spot from an outside perspective. I suppose since it's not necessarily the nicest thing to point at, and that when someone slack off from your gravity pool there is no more strong feeling one need to 'do something about it', it's rare that it's being told to you. But lately, your situation comes off as very bad, and I would highly recommend you to seek some help, before you keep sinking more and more into delusion. Now I already know, I'm going to be threatened, belittled, told I am not awake enough, not smart enough and all the likes. But that reaction is exactly what makes me know you are not the real deal. Love, gentleness, kindness, and respect is quite foreign to you (as of 2022, you used to be a cool guy), and your forum looks like a 'spiritual' BDSM studio where you followers enjoy you pouring melted wax on their low-self esteem wounds. If you want to connect with the unconditional love that is so longed for and talked about, you might want to start to incarnate it. You are totally bereft of it. Hence your obsession with the idea of it, and your constant need for superiority. It's the infamous zero sum game mentality, all over again. A need for superiority on the Buddha, Tolle, Ken Wilber and obviously, your followers. Seeing anyone doing better than you is a threat to your sense of self. What a Guru! By the way, I know you've been itching to ban my account for a while. If you feel like burning the witch, feel free to do so. I suppose stating the obvious has this cost.

No It's just spontaneous. I can trip deeper in my sleep than I sometimes do in "real life". No. Often when I fall asleep my mind becomes infinite, and then I get to explore all sorts of insane dimensions of consciousness which the human mind cannot access. They are not normal wacky dreams, they are awakened states of consciousness.

Leo told Connor Murphy he'd "lost it" for thinking he was a space alien, I'm failing to see any difference whatsoever between Connor Murphy claiming to be a space alien and Leo claiming to be a space alien. Anyone who had "awakened" would have nothing but the same exact shit to post over and over again. This ITT is all just like, 4chan /x/ tier people. Nothing at all to do with any sort of deep truths at all.

New party game… Take a hit of 5-Meo every time Leo says he’s reached a new level of awakened consciousness

I just reached a totally new level of awakened consciousness. I became completely conscious that I am planet Earth. Planet Earth is Awake. The entire planet is a singular consciousness down to its infinite core. Of-fucking-course! How could I have been so blind! Ta-DAAAAA! Nonduality my ass.

The essential difference is that every traditional form of spirituality demanded everything from its participants, orienting every aspect of life towards that which is beyond life. Leo’s form of spirituality is instead designed to be perfectly compatible with a degenerate Americanised lifestyle of “building your own biz”, picking up bimbos at clubs, “partying with god”, masturbating to pornography, living in Las Vegas (the “city of devils”!), the Satanic doctrine of progressive leftism and of course the narcissistic cult of “self-actualization”. It is no wonder, then, that the use of psychedelics is the only spiritual path that Leo can imagine, for the use of psychoactive drugs is probably the only way that someone living such a mediocre lifestyle can attain to any spiritual heights, however temporary these may be. Naturally, this is all justified by the alibi of a “spirally progressive” view of historical development. We, however, can watch and laugh as we witness the spiralling out of control of a narcissistic ego high on its own supply! Indeed, if anyone needed proof that the overuse of psychedelics results only in ego inflation and the dissolution of the personality into an incoherent mush of crass narcissism, self-centred nostalgia and soppy sentimentalism, it would be hard to find a better case study. In the end, and as has fortunately become very apparent recently, Leo is just the most awakened bug-man, and his followers are little more than a nest of other bug-creatures worshipping their bug-leader in true bug-style. Crush the bugs! SPLAT!

Let me explain the deep confusion that is prevalent on actualized.org as simply as I possibly can: Relative Truth - duality, human, mind, body, soul, language, words, colors, water, food, black, white, love, fear, joy, pain, cat, dog, light, dark, chaos, order, good, evil, man, woman, ethnicity, favorite songs, preferences, likes, dislikes, ignorance, consciousness etc...... Absolute Truth - Absolute Nothingness, Absolute Unity, Absolute Truth, God, no distinctions, no duality, no boundaries, everything is one, one is everything, no distinction between good or evil, you don't exist, you are not a human, you are not your body, you are not your mind, you were never born etc..... Golden Middle Truth - This is the part that is the missing puzzle for the entire actualized.org dilemma and confusion of "relative" vs "absolute" understanding. The goal should NOT be to "transcend relative truth", it is to get you towards the Golden Middle Truth, to integrate Absolute Truth of psychedelic experiences into the Relative Truth of being a Human and move closer towards wisdom, love, consciousness, unity, goodness, skillful way of living, awareness - the Golden Middle Truth, the Wise Mind, the Wise Way. Also, the only way to say "there is no evil" is to know and understand the "Divine Plan" for which all evil was working towards just like good. I am not disagreeing with you that there is no evil, but that is because I have an understanding of what all evil was for the sake of. To say that "evil does not exist, because everything is me" lacks that understanding. The correct way of saying for you is: I forgive and I am grateful for all evil because I believe that all evil was for the sake of God's Absolutely Perfect, Genius and Magnificent Divine Masterpiece. The correct way of saying for me ( I who awakened and know the Truth ) is: I forgive and I am grateful for all evil because I know that all evil was for the sake of God's Absolutely Perfect, Genius and Magnificent Divine Masterpiece.

You misread the title, it actually says: "I awakened, ask me anything" - this implies intelligent questions about my awakening and existential questions that will incite contemplation, insights and useful conversations about the true nature of reality.