Search the Community

Death is the ultimate fear that humans have. Death is no joke . I contemplated my Death before in a failed suicide attempt. I simply couldn't do it . The unknown will fuck you in the ass.

The daughter of a famous TV host, Art Linkletter, died in the 1960s. She actually committed suicide but Linkletter blamed it on LSD. She jumped off a balcony. Linkletter was very influencial in vilifying and spreading false information about LSD. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diane_Linkletter#:~:text=Diane Linkletter (October 31%2C 1948,at the age of 20. https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/01/09/richard-nixon-war-on-drugs-timothy-leary-216264/

Hey there, sorry for the late response, it was getting close to my bedtime and I decided to hit the hay. I noticed you had another comment and I was going to reply to it, but I see I did not get back in time. I don't do psychedelics very much, when I was younger I did - my advice is if you are actively going through something tough that they can be hit or miss. If you're getting uncomfortable trips, I would lay off of them until you're in a better space. Some people feel differently, they think it helps with trauma, but my opinion is that they're best used when in a stable environment. Or if not that, then with a person who is experienced that can guide you through your trip. Oh man, I know how that goes. Therapy is very costly, it's one of the reasons I have not gone in yet for my own treatment. I'd love to give you more helpful advice, but I don't know a whole lot about therapy so I can't really delve into that too much. I've heard great things about it, and not so great things. I think it will all come down to how you're feeling about the process. Give it some time and evaluate if it is helping you and if not, try something else, if so, stick with it. Do you do any journaling? "Shadow work" and things of this nature? One thing that helped me get through some of my issues - I still have more to work through, but this helped me spiritually and gave me insight into the nature of death - was to journal. I started offsite for quite a while and then moved to this website. What I like to do is delve into everything that might feel like a block. My self image, my ego, my delusions, just everything - and to do so from a place of no judgement. Just looking at it like you might inspect something surgically. And I write that down. I will then look at different viewpoints and write those down. Over time, this creates a chain of insight that will eventually lead me to the main "problem", which is usually, for me, fear of death/pain/suffering. If I am in the right headspace, I will go through those emotions fully on the spot and try to see what I can bring up from it. It will either be an awakening, insight, a paranormal experience or a resolution into something that was bothering me. Another thing that can help your depression/suicide is to collect images/poetry/artwork/music of things that you can "feel" God in. Even if you don't see God right away, your intuition knows - look at these things every day and offer gratitude for them. Meet God in the middle with love and gratitude and see what happens. I wish I could give you more to go off of, but these two things are my main staples and they have done me well. I hope you find some sense of peace. Please don't harm yourself. But also know that I KNOW for a fact that God is caring and loving and that these talks about there being this punishment for an already suffering soul is nonsense. Why would a loving, caring God harm someone's soul who is already hurting? They're innocent. Just in pain. That is victim blaming, that is a human trait put into the nature of God. There might be more to the anatomy of the death/birth process, but okay... let's put it this way - say a woman was raped as a child and it happened a lot. Then she gets pregnant. She lives in a country where rape is considered a sin no matter how it happens, and so is premarital sex. She has to marry this man. She gets married, has the child and he abuses her anyways. She finally kills herself. Why would God then harm this innocent soul, who was already in so much pain, just to teach it a "lesson"? No way. That soul would be showered in love and kindness and a healing energy and put back together again so that the person feels whole and safe and has the ability to express themselves completely. That is what a loving God would do. And every experience I have of God has always been this way. God heals, it doesn't harm things. When you find it, when you reach out, it's very illumination is a salve for the broken heart. That has not been my experience. I don't discredit your experiences, but I think you went to the top and didn't get to fully map out the entire anatomy of this thing. In my experience, which was going through sickness and death, I was given the miracle of some sense of understanding - and it was the most truthful thing I ever felt. No ego, nothing. There was the whole thing - which is God, but there were souls, also composed of God. It was still a singular thing, but each given the miracle of life from which to explore itself. The experience of souls was single handedly one of the most true things that I have ever encountered in this world, to such a degree I that I Know it on a very deep level, and have even experienced my own bubble. How the anatomy of this works, I don't know, I would need more experiences like this that are so true that they blow any doubt out of the water but for me these are rare and don't happen very often. Also, some really advanced material talks about the soul - like the Seth material and Sri Aurobindo's works. I had an awakening to the nature of the soul from reading Seth Speaks. I would keep your mind open that maybe you've just experienced the top portion to such a degree that the other aspects of the anatomy of reality have not made themselves visible to you. Just my 2c take or leave. Hi there! Sure, I must preface that my awakening is very incomplete, so I write from the truest place I am at, but there are a lot of holes in my understanding so I'll do my best to answer but it comes from the place of still, quite a neophyte on the matter. My understanding comes from facing it in my own way - and having it explained to me from the other side that this is just the nature of things. I don't quite understand why it has to be so hard for people. I don't agree with it, I wish it were easier for everyone. I see people suffering and relate to it on such a visceral level. I'll tell you what I was told, but I still have questions that I am seeking from this myself. I was told that this contrast is what allows us to know what we want. We are creators, that are limited while we are here. We often can't see the extent that we create things, it becomes more apparent when you are dying, during certain forms of psychological breaks, or on psychedelics and sometimes in dreams. We are obligated to face it, but this fear is often wrapped up in a package that looks scarier than it actually is. There's often a distortion in how a person is looking at things that gives it a monstrous façade. It can take some time and personal work to uncover why the fear looks a certain way. It can come in the form of something very frightening, only to end up being something very loving underneath all of that. What I was told, from my challenges is that - if you believe in souls - that certain souls are given a life path that opens them up to be elevated in some form. Sometimes this is a very easy process, and these people go only so deep into it, and into themselves. But there is a deeper process where life breaks you open, not only to show you what you want, what you crave, in order to bring this to you in some form, either in life or death, but also so that you know how wonderous it really is. When you are very low, very down, and then something or some moment comes in to elevate you - there's this sense of going full circle. You've gone down into the underworld, down into the pit of human psychology, and you get to take with you all the bits from the bottom to the top - instead of just being in the middle and going to the top. There is a very interconnected energy/nature within human suffering that binds us all together. All humans have suffered. It is a key into empathy, compassion and love for your fellow man, to see their experience and pain and to know how that feels. This almost breaking-point can broaden your scope of understanding to a very significant degree. I hope that makes some sense. As for the masculine and feminine qualities, I don't perceive it as more important, it just happens to be what comes up when I face my own death/destruction of the body. I don't really have any feeling on it as being above any other duality in any way. It feels like - that within myself, which is feminine, that just beyond that layer, there is the masculine that holds it. Like Shiva and Kali - Shiva is inert and lays on the ground, while Kali dances on top of him. They are ultimately one. When I let go of my ego, and just look into the void, my void, this mythology springs to live, and I can see this living phenomenon within it. It is like both a dark and illuminating quality to it. It seems to be just on the very outskirts of the layers of thought, culture, even mythology, of anything - just an intention, or an influence that flows in a certain way. Will, you could call it. And it just tells me things intuitively that I write down and follow, I don't really hold a strong attachment to it, it's all very loose. Like, if I wanted to, I could let it go, and just focus on the void, but then there it would be. It moves in the creation, maintenance, destruction pattern, and for the one that I work with, this is a destructive force, that ultimately creates new soil for different things to develop and grow. It is activated or mitigated by the collective actions that humanity takes. A natural force. But masculine. At the end of the day, I don't know why these polarities are more fundamental, or if they even are. I'm still poking holes in all of it to try to make some sense of it. There very well could be something even more fundamental that I am not aware of. It feels very much like how the energy is described, though, within Indian tradition. That you seek it from within, not from without, that it is the building block to consciousness, and that the feminine is what plays or moves on this. It feels like they are both one, but that one, or perhaps both, don't realize this until one becomes aware of it from within themself. It is almost like, the universe within you. There is the human consciousness, and then this other thing that is more primal and archaic and wise - and both sort of "mold" and play with each other from the other side. When it comes to nonbinary or trans, I don't know how this works. I think that because we carry both of these energies within us, that it isn't an issue of gender. You could be the feminine energy and be male, or the masculine and be female, it's just how the very basic layer manifests within you. Hope that helps somewhat. I am kind of limited in how to explain this, because I am so new to understanding it. It might take a few years for me to be able to understand and develop a better answer. If you are feeling a strong sense of suffering and fear, my advice is to take up the practice of memento mori. Look into the void, with as much clarity and space allowed for it to speak to you as you can, and see what comes up for you personally. It seems like much of this stuff is so personal to each individual that everyone kind of gets a different picture to work with to put together. But many times, the partition between life and death is so flimsy, that the reality of this is actually just right there, looking everyone in the eye but we don't always see it. Within this void, this death, is actually a universal life, an awareness. It's like a full-circle thing, where you see immortality within your own destruction, in some sense. Try going through it when you feel most afraid and seeing what comes up in your awareness. Everything and anything. Get really comfortable with your inner darkness, your inner light, and feel for what you really want, what you would fight for if you were at the end of the world. What would remain, if everything else sluffed off. These things are the puzzle pieces, and those are what to inspect - these things that we either run from or so desire deeply within ourselves are little breadcrumbs, keys, into our own divinity.

There is no shortcut to heaven. The point of life isn't to discover that all you needed to do was to kill yourself. That's violent. The point of life is to play the game of life well. Play it wisely and lovingly. Life is about wise action, and suicide is not a wise action. There is an eternity of existence.

All religions have an incentive to tell you that something horrible will happen if you kill yourself. Otherwise everyone would just commit suicide whenever things get tough, if they thought they could just take a shortcut to heaven. Until you're 100% certain though, I would operate on the assumption that this is the only 1 life you have, so it's probably worth living even if it sucks. You have infinity to not exist afterward. This sounds like a panic attack

Idk why I said idk what that was all about. It was clear what that was all about: I needed to wake the hell up from my suicidal impulses. The other characters in the dream were shaking me violently and I woke up from that nap feeling on my actual skin as if I’d really been slapped (which *really* happened for anyone who understands that there’s no difference between right now and a nightly dream) Suicide is just one of my destinies. I know I can choose out of it even though sometimes it feels like a gravitational pull and I’m even overtaken by curiosity about experiencing first hand what happens (but like I said, the finality of the decision is really terrifying; and it does feel wrong and dirty to have so much anger towards my own self. Suicide is just wrong, period. It’s mechanical and driven by anger. It’s just very twisty)

Don't ever consider committing suicide. For suicide is not the easy way out. The consequences of such an action will be severe; it will cause a karmic mess, which you will need to resolve. Therefore, you cannot avoid life. Life is like one of those movies where the characters have to play a game, and the only way to stop the game is to play it until the end; you have to complete the game of life. When you kill yourself, you get another womb. And then life will tell you: "Choose again." It's better to make the right choice in this lifetime. In this lifetime, you have a tremendous advantage; it's a great opportunity.

It’s a good question you raise… if everything is gods will, then people who commit suicide are too. Suicide feels wrong to me that’s why “I” wouldn’t do it but I’m curious as to what will happen if there was no longer a feeling of being in a body. It’s said that it’ll be this and that after death but I haven’t had the consciousness to be certain of it yet. Way too many concepts

No... if you listen closely, especially if you are suicidal, the Gods will do everything in their power to come to you to help you in your time of need. They love their creations very much and do not want anything to harm them. There is no hell, other than the experiences that we have here on earth that offer a sense of contrast. We need this contrast to grow and to feel. What comes after death is unification with love, with the divine, in some form. When I had my awakening experiences, I felt everyone connected to the Source energy. Absolutely everyone who ever was or will be, all singing in unison. Animal, plant, human. Good, evil. All with purpose and reason. The universe takes into account suicide in its plan. Absolutely. If you take your life, it was already planned. There are some circumstances where the soul might do something unexpected, but this is very, very rare. And this is what fuels the evolution of consciousness forward. When I experienced the universe, it was very much like the visuals of this song - all things in their proper place. The web of life, the feedback loops that govern us. I have a strong faith that those who have harmed themselves move on to a place for healing. Not harm. God does not do this to its creations. It does beg the question into why these mythologies are so prevalent. I don't know why that is. I can only speak from my own experience, and this tells me that all things will return to two forms - masculine and feminine - and then once these two collide, they will be One - and then the process will start over again in some manner. What that is, I don't know that either. Here is the song God spoke to me through:

https://medium.com/the-collector/where-does-suicide-take-the-soul-883faa98e15e z

Yes. Ibuprofen kills your stomach lining and paracetamol poisons the liver and gives your child adhd if you take it during pregnancy. I'm not an expert on this but I do remember this anecdote from a friend who sees a lot of suicidal patients: When a patient is brought into the ER with an overdose of pills (from a suicide attempt, under the influence or not), the question is always: Did they take a bunch of psychiatric medications, like sleeping pills or antidepressants? If that's all they took, they can pump the stomach, give IV fluids and have good hopes of the patient waking up. Or did they swallow a pack of OTC cough medicine, or pain relievers that have paracetamol in them? Well, fuck, then they're dead.

I really liked last of us 1, angry joe's and the critical drinkers review really put into words well what I agree what's wrong with the game if you wanna check those videos out. There's a lot to say about it, but basically, I just found it very very boring, slow, and pointless, wishy washy, and the ending was unsatisfying and depressing and left me without caring or hoping for anything more from the next story or game. like it took ellie murdering hundreds of people, who had nothing to do with the problem, to get revenge on the 1 person, she set out on 2 basically suicide missions to hunt her down and find her, and in the end when she finally has her, she lets her go, and thats somehow supposed to be beautiful and symbolic how she finally leanred her lesson the getting revenge is bad? Yet she brutally murdered everyone in her way of this one person who didnt deserve to die, yeah i just dont see the beauty in it, at least the execution, the ideas were interesting, the perspective flip and all that, kinda cool, but i think the execution coulda been better, the writing, less convenient encounters that push the plot along in a way that seems too lucky and convenient, less of that and I would have probably liked it more, but hard to say

The torture and execution methods of the past are a good reason not to commit suicide. You might get reborn and experience the brazen bull. Enjoy the 21st century, folks.

@Hello from Russia ha ha Except the only my way out is to become extremely valuable or suicide.

The day I discover that I'm all alone ..I will definitely quit the forum. Quit society. Either go live by myself in a cave blessing out on nothing. Or I'm gonna suicide myself. There is no point talking to "others " if you truly believe there are no others.

Maybe gather the courage to endure your life. When you commit suicide, you get another womb, and the God that you love to hate on so much might give you a worse life. In this lifetime, you have all the resources at your disposal that you need to build a good life. In the next lifetime, you might be even more lost than you are now.

Dude, if you already consider suicide so seriously, just fuck with shit for some time and just die later. Fuckin', tell random girl from youR high school that you love her (even if you don't) , tell your parents to fuck off, mess with shit. Sleep outside in the wilderness. Fucking play with this illusion if you already accepted to commit a suicide. Don't be a pussy.

@Someone here true dude, it’s one of the reasons I don’t go close to suicide, but I think any sane person has thought about it at least once in their life, it’s just so violent that I don’t think anything pleasant can come of it, duality is so annoying, I don’t necessarily think you need to experience deep suffering to know great pleasure, god certainly does, but these egos, idk

please understand this ..you are gambling when you consider suicide..you don't know what happens after death..maybe you will live a worse life after you kill yourself. I mean who the fuck knows what happen when you die . At least you know this world and you can ground yourself in the Here and now .while in suicide you are risking going to a hell realm. You have no other options . .to be..or to be .

@Holykael what's stopping you from suicide?

All love, you project your lack of experience onto others, suffering actually makes you more loving. But you are scared of suffering that is why you say what you say. The more suffering you experience, the more empathy of others you will have, and then eventually you will even see your suffering for the illusion that it is. But you have to first go through these stages first to understand. I've suffered plenty, its why I understand what Leo is saying completely.....all suffering is self-created....it is just resistance to what is. Its not easy, its not pretty, and eventually it will be realized, but it is truth. Infinity is every single thing....even self-mutilation, even rape, even suicide, every....freaking...thing....and it cannot be any other way.

STAGES OF ANIMA DEVELOPMENT IN MEN 1. Women as mother - He needs a mommy to take care of him. In this first stage, a man’s anima is completely tied up with the mother. She is not necessarily his personal mother but the image of a woman that is a faithful provider of nourishment, security, and love. She represents all that is natural, instinctual, and biological.223 A man with an anima complex of this type cannot function well without a vital connection to a woman, and is easy prey of being controlled and exploited by her. He frequently suffers from impotence or has no sexual desire at all, and is therefore called a mama’s boy. This type of anima possession also manifests through fear of accidents or disease, or in a sort of dullness of personality. The Greek Sirens and the German Lorelei personify these dangerous aspects of the anima, which may even lead a man to his death over a lost love relationship through suicide. 2. Women as sex object - He wants her to make him feel good. In the second stage, the anima is a collective sexual image. She is a Marilyn Monroe, Madonna, or Playboy model. Men in stage two are often Don Juans who see all women as sex objects, and engage in repeated sexual adventures, sometimes developing into sexual addictions. These relationships are invariably short-lived, because he is not faithful, is always looking for his next conquest, and no woman can ever live up to his unrealistic image of the ideal female partner. 3. Women as wife - He wants her loyalty and support. In the third stage of his anima complex development, a man becomes ready to care for a wife and be devoted to his family. He is the loving protector and provider that women in the equivalent stage three of their animus development seek. Men with this anima accept their partner as she is, as long as she fulfills her role as supportive, undemanding, caring, and faithful wife, available sex partner, and loving mother to his children. His sexuality is usually integrated into their relationship and not an autonomous function that drives him. He can differentiate between love and lust, which allows him to create a lasting partnership (if she stays), because he can tell the difference between the objects of his sexual desire and the benefits of being a faithful partner/husband. 4. Women as guide to creativity and awakening - He struggles with her need for independence. In the fourth stage, a man’s anima functions as a guide to his inner life. As women in this stage become emotionally and financially independent from men, they often turn away and abandon their partners against their will. This challenges him to seek other sources of fulfillment, happiness, aliveness, passion, joy, purpose, peace, and love. Through his quest arises a desire to answer life’s deeper questions of “who am I,” “where do I come from,” “why am I here,” “what is the meaning of my life,” “what should I do,” “what is my purpose,” and “where do I go”? Contemplating these questions, reading books like the one that you are holding right now, meditating, or seeking a bond with others on a similar path in men’s groups, New Age churches, and personal growth workshops allow him to bring deeper levels of his unconscious anima into his awareness. This leads to a liberating process of awakening to his authentic nature, true purpose, genuine passions, and capacity to love unconditionally that are independent from a partnership with a woman.224 On the flipside, he may show behaviors that are usually described as a midlife crisis,225 become commitment phobic, avoid deeper intimacy with women altogether, or engage in serial monogamy or polyamory,226 since he does not want to sacrifice his newfound freedom or to be limited by one partnership. This partial awakening (the idea of living alone is not Integral, fully realized, or the ultimate realization of human development) is transcended when a man enters stage five of his anima development. 5. Women as equal partner - He meets her as an opposite and equal partner. Similar to a woman in this stage (see below), a man in stage five of his anima complex development has accepted the fact that conflicts and ambivalence are intrinsic to human relationships, and sees how their resolution contributes to his ongoing healing, personal growth, and spiritual realization. He feels confident, secure, and comfortable to authentically express his sexual essence (which tends to be masculine in heterosexual men), while he embraces his feminine (anima).227 This allows him to invite differing views, experiences, and feelings of his female partner without feeling threatened, offended, or puzzled by them. Her authentic stage-five feminine qualities naturally complement his masculinity and vice versa. Since he has found his own purposeful identity that does not depend on her inspiration, support, or approval, he appreciates his partner’s independent authority,228 and doesn’t feel responsibility, shame, or insecurity if she is unhappy—even though he shows empathy, care, and devotion—and enjoys when she is happy. He neither clings, nor pushes her away, but fully opens to embrace her at all levels of his being when they are together, and stays content and fulfilled when they are apart. This allows him to enter into a mature monogamous relationship of opposites and equals from which radically new life experiences, emotional healing processes, and deeper spiritual realizations that often become the foundation for altruistic acts of kindness and service towards others emerge. STAGES OF ANIMUS DEVELOPMENT IN WOMEN 1. Men as alien outsiders - She fears, hates, and loves him. Because of abuse or abandonment from men that she identified with during childhood, such as a father, father figure, older brother, uncle, or family friend, a woman in this stage completely denies and suppresses her animus as alien inside and outside of herself. She trusts her mother and other females, while she distrusts, hates, or fears men. This is often countered by a strange curiosity about men, which she cannot differentiate. This ambivalence can make her extremely seductive, needy, and clingy, and cause severe symptoms of the “seduce and withhold”230 syndrome. As soon as a man gets close to her she withdraws, only to come back to ask for more after he becomes distant. She can break the heart of a weak man who tries to prove that he is different, attempts to rescue her from her fears, and so becomes codependent231 as she lures him into her pathological cat and mouse game. Within the limits of her domain in household, family, and female-oriented work environment (e.g., school teacher, nurse, artist, gardener, therapist, healer, working with animals, etc.), such a woman may seem grounded and self-confident. Outside those limits, she leaves the work and responsibility to men and more mature women.232 2. Men as father, God, or king - She wants his approval. The self-esteem of a woman in this stage is directly connected to the response and approval that she receives from men. She is often driven by a need to be seen as the most attractive female, and constantly monitors her value by her internalized masculine judgment and through externalized male reflection. This may lead to a split in her personality when she imitates male behavior to be liked by them, and at other times presents herself as a sexually seductive femme fatale (such as in the movie Basic Instinct) to be desired. She either hides behind a feminine mask of beautiful appearance, graceful charming manner, and entertaining wit, or develops a tom boyish attitude through teasing, competing, and challenging, or some other facade that suggests success. Women in this stage gravitate towards men that they perceive to be more attractive, intelligent, and exciting than they could ever be themselves. They often try to live up to men by dietary restrictions, vigorous physical exercising, adapting to their intellectual interests, developing new talents, and being sexually available to become the perfect mate. If a woman remains in this stage, she is at great risk of entering a profound depression when her beauty and sexual attractiveness wane, and the number of heads that she is turning, and men who admire her diminishes. She may then isolate herself from all intimate relationships, because her perfectionism overrides her ability to be compassionate and to forgive her own and others’ mistakes. This may lead her to withdraw into a cold and bitter self-denial in which her anxieties create all kinds of psychosomatic illnesses, such as panic attacks, vomiting, heart problems, fatigue, and body aches. A strong, conscious, and patient man (or a good psychotherapist) can support a woman in this stage to find her own worth, passions, and identity, independent of male approval, which then allows her to enter into stage three.233 3. Men as hero - She wants him to take care of her. Women in stage three seek a man as protector and provider with strength, courage, and ability, who can meet her needs, cherish her, and whom she wants to marry. He represents her ideal (and often unrealistic) image of the knight in shining armor who fulfills her expectations for good looks, intelligence, solid reputation, stable finances, generosity, loyalty, humor, kindness, care, integrity, and faithfulness. To be in a good bargaining position, this woman will focus on her appearance, health/fitness, and adapting to the world of men by seeking a higher education, pursuing a career, fighting for social justice, or saving a failing business. She will appear as self-affirming and expects something in return. She functions well in the competitive world of men, sees herself as equal, is willing to share responsibilities, and will contribute and perform as long as her partner is able to provide more in return, since women want to marry up. As long as he meets her expectations for financial security, social status, and devotion, she will support him to achieve his full potential while often denying such achievements to herself. This can lead to feelings of resentment and anger when she sees that she has been “denied” the right to experience her own competence, and when her partner/husband fails to live up to her ever-growing expectations. Some women in this stage will enter an inward journey once they become aware of the transitory nature of their physical attractiveness, ability to succeed with men, and limitations of finding acceptance in the male world. This may lead them to the restoration of their female authority 234 as they take responsibility for their own identity once they have moved into stage four of their animus complex development.235 4. Men as independent beings - She wants her independence. A woman in stage four makes an active choice in favor of her self-interest and self-fulfillment—independent of a partner or husband. This transition takes place with the realization that she has constructed her own experiences throughout her lifetime in relationship to men, and now wants to find her own identity. She will stop trying to be perfect in all things in order to please her partner (who was a heroic father figure in the previous stage), as she becomes emotionally free from his approval and support. Having discovered her own source of worthiness and foundation, she is working to restore her female authority. Financial independence through her own labor or through other sources of money that are often only available to women, such as “divorcing well,” alimony and child-support payments, generous lovers, support from parents, or Social Security benefits, are the prerequisite for this transition. You will notice if your partner enters into stage four of her animus development when she starts to challenge you, cares less about your needs, seeks her financial independence, and refuses to take responsibility for holding your relationship together. If you are in partnership with a woman in this stage, it is important to know that it is not your fault that her pain of staying will eventually be greater than her fear of leaving, and that there is nothing you can do but to take care of yourself emotionally 236 and sexually, protect the financial assets that are legitimately yours (if you have to, with the help of a CPA or lawyer), and, if you can, support her with love and compassion in her transition. Once separated and/or divorced, she will feel free from the evaluation and needs of men for the first time in her life. These newly single women are then much occupied with challenging work, their animals and children, social activities, educational advancements, maintaining their household, hobbies, world-travel, and their friendships.237 At the same time, they look down at women who show more feminine or balanced qualities and who desire to be (or are) in a committed partnership with a man. To women in stage four, partnered women still seem to be in the pitiful stage two or three of dependence on a male partner (which they have just escaped). However, married women may have actually advanced into stage five, which women in stage four cannot fathom yet. They discredit partnered women as unevolved and often compete with them in merciless ways. Women in stage four frequently break with the conventional role of caring mother, show tough love, and feel fulfilled outside a partnership with a man. Still, there remains an underlying fear of abandonment, especially in older women, when concerns about the disappearance of their skills and autonomy in the midst of a crisis arise. This often leads to feelings of ambivalence. On one side there is a secret longing for the stability and support that a partnership with a man could provide during times of stress, fatigue, loneliness, or desire for sex. On the other side there is the fear of becoming emotionally dependent, used, and dominated again. Frequent complaints about the lack of good men who are physically fit and attractive, highly intelligent, successful, accomplished, mature, kind, loving, generous, evolved, supportive, spiritual, and available when they need/want them, but who remain flexible, undemanding, and unattached otherwise, are a hallmark of women in stage four.238 Becoming men-hating diehard singles, settling for “friends with benefits” whom they string a long, or serial monogamy are often the only solutions that seem to solve their dilemma. It is not your fault if you get mixed messages, are rejected, or are ignored altogether by women in stage four that you try to date or get a commitment from, as these women are highly independent, endlessly demanding, impossible to please, and commitmentphobic.239 This is, of course, no problem for men who have entered stage four of their own anima development, which many single males and females falsely see as the highest stage of their personal and spiritual development (as in, I am so whole and complete, I don’t need a partner to complete me). If you have matured into stage five and meet a woman who is at the end of her animus stage four development, then you may be able to patiently support her to transition into stage five and find a wonderful partner in her. 5. Men as equal partners - She wants him as an equal and opposite partner. Just as a man, a woman in stage five of her animus development has accepted that conflict and ambivalence are intrinsic to human relationships, and realized the significance of a partnership to balance her further psychological growth and spiritual awakening.240 Having fully claimed her own authority after transcending her animus complex, she no longer sees men as alien, superior, inferior, or independent. The realization that the idea of living and going it alone was a distorted conception of human existence emerges in her, because we never live alone. She sees that in being human we have a variety of economic, physical, sexual, psychological, and spiritual needs that cannot be met by living alone. At last she has the insight that a balanced personality always develops in a self-other conception, and never through the discovery of an independent self.241 This woman then desires the material, intellectual, emotional, sexual, and spiritual synergy that is co-created with a man who meets her as an opposite and equal (which means opposite feminine and masculine polarities with equal levels of consciousness, rights, and responsibilities). Since she may have never experienced a stage five partnership, she needs guidance from a man (like you?) at the same stage of his anima development, who is able to meet her in an integrally informed way. These couples can then form interdependent242 partnerships in which they heal, learn, grow, and enjoy family and social activities together, while contributing to the well-being of others.243 --------------------------- So where are you guys in your development? Men answer from the ANIMA list and Woman from the ANIMUS list. Its possible to be a mix of many stages and a mix of anima and animus, if so describe your experience.

Goethe's writing is beautiful. "The book reputedly also led to some of the first known examples of copycat suicide. The men were often dressed in the same clothing 'as Goethe's description of Werther and using similar pistols.' Often the book was found at the scene of the suicide."

@Holymoly It's actually a tough thing to consider. Yes, grief is the consequence of love, but I think it's one of other consequences for being able to feel and experience love. I actually think apathy, and other emotions like laziness, boredom, humiliation and depression, especially depression, is the ultimate price for love. Other negative emotions, also thinking too, can be part of other costs, but I think depression would be the biggest price. Context sensitive is this one. Technically, lover's suicide is the greatest cost, but I think there are definitely other costs to loving. But that doesn't mean to stop practicing and avoiding love. Keep on feeling the love, despite the other costs, especially while you still can and will yourself to loving more.

BANG!!! I would remember that sound for the rest of my life was my first thought as I watched this young guy crumple to the floor. Dr. Werden originally ran towards Steve to stop him but it was too late, only an awkward body lay before him as dead as if he had never been alive beforehand. Dr. Werden frowned a hard frown and stated "This was Divine Will, and will not be understood." As I saw this I noticed I was trembling, it seems I was in a state of confusion and horror and was starting to get light-headed. I allowed myself the privilege of slumping to the ground as I watched Dr. Werden take out his cell phone and calmly dial. I heard him say "Yeah a student shot himself in the head on campus on by the South West Entrance to the Social Sciences Building. The campus is currently in a state of shock and terror." He then calmly bent down and looked Steve over being careful not to touch him, then simply stood there and waiting for the authorities to show up. I noticed my head was really hurting and Dr. Werden noticed me and started to approach. When he got in front of me and looked at me he asked "What's your name?" I shook my head to fight the daze I was feeling and replied "Richard, Richard Kennedy." Dr. Werden responded "Nice to meet you. Now how are you feeling Mr. Kennedy, you think you can stand or do you need to take some more time to process all this?" I shook my head to get some more of the daze out and replied confidently "No I'm fine I can stand." Dr. Werden then smiled and replied "Good because since you are a witness the police will have questions for you." Suddenly I felt a knot in my stomach, I didn't want to have to relive that moment much less talk about it. But then I remembered, that guy had people that cared about him, the least I could do was speak about his last moments. "Stand back, hey you tape this place up, and you two come over here and give me the low down." Dr. Werden led me to the man and put out his hand "The Name's Dr. Werden." The man took it and shook it "The name's Detective Presa Volte Crimine, you can call me Detective Volte since that's my nickname." Dr. Werden smiles and states "Well where would you like to do this questioning?" The Detective smirked "Don't worry I'll find a classroom and have yall stay after class." Dr. Werden smirked back "Will this count against our final?" I was taken aback, here we had a young guy with years ahead of him who just offed himself and these two were acting like long lost pals who'd just met up to have a chat. I looked at the two of them with accusatory glances and stated "Hey umm you do know someone just killed themselves right?" They both looked at me with a puzzled look. Dr. Werden gave a sheepish grin "Yeah me and the Detective go way back, he pretended just now that it was the first time we met but I use to do some consulting work for the Department a couple of years ago. We have dealt with a lot of dead bodies and we often use humor to liven up the dreary mood of crime scenes." The Detective looked at me like I was some puzzle he needed to figure out and replied "Look after you've seen 20 dead bodies, you kind of go numb. It is what it is, story of the grind." I could get the gist from a conceptual viewpoint, but for me this was new, raw, fresh, penetrating, and harrowing, if I could think up more adjectives I would but instead I felt like I was being pulled into a dark spiral and nothing mattered. I felt a deep fear arise in me, and I noticed that Dr. Werden and the Detective noticed and asked me to sit down as they led me to an empty classroom while they discussed some topic in the door way. As I sat at the desk I wondered, how would my last moment be? Would it be in a blaze of glory or would I just be some small mention in a sea of news stories without even a picture attributed as I wasn't noteworthy enough for any real effort in reporting my passing. After about five minutes Dr. Werden came to my table and let me know that the Detective had some questions for me. The Detective sat down with a recorder and stated his name, badge number, the date of the incident and what transpired. He had me state my name for the record on the recorder. Then we began the questioning. He asked me what happened before I got there, how did I end up at the scene, what did I see, how did I feel, what did Dr. Werden and the student do and did I hear their conversations. After about 10 minutes of this questioning he looked at me with a smile and told me I was done. He gave me his card, asked for my cell number and stated he would give me a call if he had anymore questions and that I was free to leave. Dr. Werden nodded and I jumped up as if suddenly held by restraints but let go, and quickly walked out of the classroom and headed home. I ran to my house, opened the front door, ran up stairs tripping as I did it clumsily, ran into my room and threw myself face first onto my bed. It seems I passed out and waking up had given me some energy. I went downstairs to the living room and turned on the T.V. and what I saw floored me. It was Dr. Werden being taken away in handcuffs and the caption read Dr. Werden was being charged with 'Criminally Negligent Murder" for the death of Steven Maldito. I couldn't believe it!! Its funny how some days work, who knew my first day of school would go from meeting my favorite teacher to witnessing a suicide in which my teacher would be charged complicit in. As I sat in astonishment I realized, I would probably end up being a key witness in the case and would have to go to court. I sunk in my couch, could this get any worse? How the hell did something like this happen to me? I hear the door bell ring, and when I opened it a reporter was there and a flash hit my eyes like he was trying to blind me forever. "Did you know the student Steven very well? What did you think about Dr. Werden's actions? Do you think he caused the kid to kill himself?" I slammed the door in his face. Looked up at ceiling as if trying to find God and thought...."Really what is the point of all this chaos?" My T.V. is still on and I hear that the news has already discovered that there is a material witness and they already discovered my name and they then plastered my face and name on the screen. I looked outside and news vans were parked along the street as if I were running some type of conference on the lawn. Things were just happening too fast for me. I just went from an unknown random student to the most famous witness to a crime in town. To be Continued.