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Yet, with respect to everything other than the pure possibilities of consciousness, you yourself are completely uninterested in anything other than your own beliefs, which then ironically contaminates your teachings about consciousness itself. For example, you recently claimed that “no human has ever become a spiritual trickster”. This is just laughable. Likewise, the fact that the Earth is conscious was commonly understood in all pre-modern human societies, as was the possibility of shape-shifting and adopting animal or superhuman forms of consciousness, but you are so ignorant of human history - except through dumbed down YouTube spirituality or some mediocre “Integral” books which handily reduce the grand complexity of human existence to a few colour-coded stages - that it is all misinterpreted as being some grand new awakening that nobody had ever understood before. Anyone who challenges this is quickly dismissed and if they do so too incessantly will be permanently dismissed! And since you have drawn such a harsh distinction between consciousness and everything which is merely human, this unstable mixture of advanced spiritual realisations and your own attachments to “petty human bullshit” is destined to become more and more volatile, as we have already seen. This is why I have recently called you “the most awakened bug-man”. While you have attained to advanced states of consciousness, your assumptions about human life are exactly those that one finds among the modern secular materialistic bugman: we are just apes on a rock in space and there is no greater purpose to life than “just enjoy the ride, dude!”

What most of you are not getting here is that Leo has awakened to Troll Consciousness

You are not the most awakened being there is. It comes off pretty painful to see you insist on it, from posts to posts, when what is happening is a clear case of an ego co-opting awakening/ and intellectual insights as a way to strengthen itself. It's pretty basic, and easy to spot from an outside perspective. I suppose since it's not necessarily the nicest thing to point at, and that when someone slack off from your gravity pool there is no more strong feeling one need to 'do something about it', it's rare that it's being told to you. But lately, your situation comes off as very bad, and I would highly recommend you to seek some help, before you keep sinking more and more into delusion. Now I already know, I'm going to be threatened, belittled, told I am not awake enough, not smart enough and all the likes. But that reaction is exactly what makes me know you are not the real deal. Love, gentleness, kindness, and respect is quite foreign to you (as of 2022, you used to be a cool guy), and your forum looks like a 'spiritual' BDSM studio where you followers enjoy you pouring melted wax on their low-self esteem wounds. If you want to connect with the unconditional love that is so longed for and talked about, you might want to start to incarnate it. You are totally bereft of it. Hence your obsession with the idea of it, and your constant need for superiority. It's the infamous zero sum game mentality, all over again. A need for superiority on the Buddha, Tolle, Ken Wilber and obviously, your followers. Seeing anyone doing better than you is a threat to your sense of self. What a Guru! By the way, I know you've been itching to ban my account for a while. If you feel like burning the witch, feel free to do so. I suppose stating the obvious has this cost.

No It's just spontaneous. I can trip deeper in my sleep than I sometimes do in "real life". No. Often when I fall asleep my mind becomes infinite, and then I get to explore all sorts of insane dimensions of consciousness which the human mind cannot access. They are not normal wacky dreams, they are awakened states of consciousness.

Leo told Connor Murphy he'd "lost it" for thinking he was a space alien, I'm failing to see any difference whatsoever between Connor Murphy claiming to be a space alien and Leo claiming to be a space alien. Anyone who had "awakened" would have nothing but the same exact shit to post over and over again. This ITT is all just like, 4chan /x/ tier people. Nothing at all to do with any sort of deep truths at all.

New party game… Take a hit of 5-Meo every time Leo says he’s reached a new level of awakened consciousness

I just reached a totally new level of awakened consciousness. I became completely conscious that I am planet Earth. Planet Earth is Awake. The entire planet is a singular consciousness down to its infinite core. Of-fucking-course! How could I have been so blind! Ta-DAAAAA! Nonduality my ass.

The essential difference is that every traditional form of spirituality demanded everything from its participants, orienting every aspect of life towards that which is beyond life. Leo’s form of spirituality is instead designed to be perfectly compatible with a degenerate Americanised lifestyle of “building your own biz”, picking up bimbos at clubs, “partying with god”, masturbating to pornography, living in Las Vegas (the “city of devils”!), the Satanic doctrine of progressive leftism and of course the narcissistic cult of “self-actualization”. It is no wonder, then, that the use of psychedelics is the only spiritual path that Leo can imagine, for the use of psychoactive drugs is probably the only way that someone living such a mediocre lifestyle can attain to any spiritual heights, however temporary these may be. Naturally, this is all justified by the alibi of a “spirally progressive” view of historical development. We, however, can watch and laugh as we witness the spiralling out of control of a narcissistic ego high on its own supply! Indeed, if anyone needed proof that the overuse of psychedelics results only in ego inflation and the dissolution of the personality into an incoherent mush of crass narcissism, self-centred nostalgia and soppy sentimentalism, it would be hard to find a better case study. In the end, and as has fortunately become very apparent recently, Leo is just the most awakened bug-man, and his followers are little more than a nest of other bug-creatures worshipping their bug-leader in true bug-style. Crush the bugs! SPLAT!

Let me explain the deep confusion that is prevalent on actualized.org as simply as I possibly can: Relative Truth - duality, human, mind, body, soul, language, words, colors, water, food, black, white, love, fear, joy, pain, cat, dog, light, dark, chaos, order, good, evil, man, woman, ethnicity, favorite songs, preferences, likes, dislikes, ignorance, consciousness etc...... Absolute Truth - Absolute Nothingness, Absolute Unity, Absolute Truth, God, no distinctions, no duality, no boundaries, everything is one, one is everything, no distinction between good or evil, you don't exist, you are not a human, you are not your body, you are not your mind, you were never born etc..... Golden Middle Truth - This is the part that is the missing puzzle for the entire actualized.org dilemma and confusion of "relative" vs "absolute" understanding. The goal should NOT be to "transcend relative truth", it is to get you towards the Golden Middle Truth, to integrate Absolute Truth of psychedelic experiences into the Relative Truth of being a Human and move closer towards wisdom, love, consciousness, unity, goodness, skillful way of living, awareness - the Golden Middle Truth, the Wise Mind, the Wise Way. Also, the only way to say "there is no evil" is to know and understand the "Divine Plan" for which all evil was working towards just like good. I am not disagreeing with you that there is no evil, but that is because I have an understanding of what all evil was for the sake of. To say that "evil does not exist, because everything is me" lacks that understanding. The correct way of saying for you is: I forgive and I am grateful for all evil because I believe that all evil was for the sake of God's Absolutely Perfect, Genius and Magnificent Divine Masterpiece. The correct way of saying for me ( I who awakened and know the Truth ) is: I forgive and I am grateful for all evil because I know that all evil was for the sake of God's Absolutely Perfect, Genius and Magnificent Divine Masterpiece.

You misread the title, it actually says: "I awakened, ask me anything" - this implies intelligent questions about my awakening and existential questions that will incite contemplation, insights and useful conversations about the true nature of reality.

There is no necessity, you are willfully trapped in childish views of material validity. Gods infinite intelligence can create stupidity, there is no impossibility. Unless that impossibility is wanted within infinity, as contradiction fine. Your energy is too dense, still speaking from a low level place, there’s a tone of “reality” to your words that lack that awakened quality of gnosis. You feel hurt and upset, stagnant and physical. Just dense. Curled up. Superficial understandings haven’t pierced your core beliefs, just talk without access to the way.

Yes, you have a clear understanding of the differences which exist between Leo's methodology and that of Buddhists. Though, as it's probably become obvious, you seem to have missed the fact that Leo essentially has one goal, at least consciously anyway. And that's the quest to obtain the most accurate understanding and knowledge of the truths which are of the greatest importance. This is contrasted by Buddhism's prime motivation of the reduction of human suffering, which is mostly unrelated to truth-seeking. However, these different motivations have some parallels in that because Buddhism seeks to accomplish this goal via spiritual means, they accidentally stumble on the kinds of truths Leo seeks out from time to time. I'm speaking here, mostly based on my own experience, where I accidentally awakened trying to acquire certain special knowledge for purely utilitarian reasons through spiritual practice. As such, it makes sense to me that Buddhism's similarities to Leo's teachings arose in this fashion.

I agree with this. The question is whether or not common people, who most definitely are not free from those things, will support and follow such leaders. Or if our systems can even handle them without collapse. Certainly we need a raising in consciousness. My only objection is to what degree it is practical for world leaders to awaken. The most practical stages for western leaders would seem to be Green and Yellow. That is certainly a raising of consciousness, but it is sufficient to solve many of our current problems and doesn’t require enlightenment. In other parts of the world, Green and Yellow may already be too much. Is it? Certainly there are some exponential curves we’ve been on, such as total energy expenditure, population, GDP, technology, etc. And certainly we face real existential threats with environmental degradation, war, etc. But I’m not convinced that threat is growing exponentially. The consciousness of people on the planet is higher than ever. Human society has always teetered on the edge of destruction. And we’ve overcome those threats without exponential awakened leadership, minus some great sages from the past. Fair enough. Perhaps. The other possibilities are that the system would more likely collapse or the leader would be booted from power before that happened. Which seems more likely to me. Although we might be able to find some exceptions. The natural progress of human history has been a slow, steady walk up the spiral, with most leaders being at a similar level of consciousness as their followers. Not exponential growth from awakened beings. Exceptions perhaps being Buddha, Christ, Muhammand etc. But even their teachings have had a limit on how much good they can do due to the consciousness of their followers.

First let me say thank you for such a thorough comment. These are all great considerations. When taking a Buddhist definition of awakening, we could say the degree to which one has freed themselves from suffering is the degree to which they are awake. Not saying this is the only definition, but it is a definition with lineage behind it. With this definition in mind, we could reframe the question by asking is it a good idea for those in power to be freed from suffering, or at least, significantly freer than what is in the current political system? I would say yes. Why? Because the conditions of mind associated with suffering are qualities of mind such as greed, hatred, and ignorance. Modern political leaders making large, sweeping decisions over thousands, hundreds of thousands, and even millions of lives are making these decision through a mind that is utterly and incomprehensibly caught in a web of these defilements, or kleshas to use more Buddhist framing. When one directly observes in their own mind how these defilements manifest as unwholesome, unwise, foolish, and harmful action, speech, and thinking, one clearly see how the purification of these qualities manifest as wholesome, wise, and compassionate action, speech, and thinking. So yes, I believe that a mind that is less caught by these defilements would serve the world more effectively than a mind caught in these defilements. Why? Because I've directly observed my own mind and the consequences of not having taken responsibility for these unwholesome qualities. The most powerful compassion cannot manifest while one clings to self. And the most harmonious, peaceful, and effective political decisions cannot arise without powerful compassion. I don't necessarily disagree; too much too soon is doomed to fail. However, when you look at the numerous existential challenges facing the planet, it becomes very clear that the pace of human development in the domains of wisdom and compassion are way way way too slow to address the developing crises. While it may seem impractical that awakened leaders may cause backlash due to the gap in consciousness, the damage of not having conscious political leaders is literally destroying the planet and generating numerous other technological risks. The current challenge of threat demands exponential growth; the current level of threat is unfolding exponentially. Absolutely. I don't think anyone at MAPLE has a fantasy that everyone can be everything. I don't know the details but there are specialization programs in development. There's no reason the politician and sage cannot work symbiotically, each mastering their own domain. Equally, if you place an awakened being into a corrupt system, the system itself may become more purified out of necessity of the interdependent nature of mind and reality. While it's not as simple as raising the consciousness of leaders, this is, at a very big picture level, what is necessary for the further development of the human species. It must happen one way or another and has been the natural progress over the course of human history. MAPLE doesn't feel like it's promoting a naive Utopianism. It feels very much in the weeds, embracing the mud of the world, accepting and starting with the fact that the world is incredibly messy. Overall, yes visiting would be best. I honestly don't know whether the organization can have a meaningful impact, or have an impact that doesn't end of creating more harm than good. There are many more ways things could go wrong than right with MAPLE. At the very least, I personally believe in the premise it starts with, that the existential risks we're collectively facing are, at their root, a symptom of the human mind. Therefore, in some capacity, the human mind is where the work must be done to create peace on the planet.

@Consilience I’m highly skeptical of such organizations. They say on their website that their main motivation is for “the powerful to be awakened and the awakened to be powerful”. But is this itself actually a good idea? People do not need awakened leaders per say. What people need is leaders who are a bit more conscious than them. Leaders who are too awakened are less practical and may actually cause backlash due to the gap in consciousness between leader and followers. Awakening also does not guarantee high political IQ. In a sense, I’d rather have a stage Green politician who is not awake but who has deeply devoted themselves to studying politics and the current issues than someone who is “awakened” and spent all their time contemplating existential questions. It seems like the goal of this program is achieve both, which is admirable and something I also strive for. But it is quite a lot to expect from one person. Specialization can be useful at times. Furthermore, if you take an awakened being and place them into a corrupt system, they themselves may become corrupt out of necessity of surviving in that system. So it’s not as simple as raising the consciousness of leaders. None of these critiques mean MAPLE doesn’t have value or that we shouldn’t develop more conscious leadership. I would consider visiting just to have my own first-hand experience and decide for myself what I thought. But I have become more skeptical of naive Utopianism, which I sometimes see a lot of.

Intro I’ve felt deeply called to share what I learned between January 2022 & present with the Actualized.org community. As I mentioned in this post awhile back, I recently went to train in a contemporary, quasi monastery for 6 months called “Monastic Academy for the Preservation of Life on Earth” or just MAPLE. I had the good fortune of working remotely, keeping my software job while simultaneously committing to the morning and evening schedule, as well as accumulating 40 days of formal retreat time while there. I have felt resistance to sharing due to what I perceive as a general closed mindedness many have on the forum regarding what is possible with formal meditation practice so why bother sharing if I’m just going to be told how unawake I am by others, or how I’m playing spiritual games? However, I also believe in Actualized.org and feel it is one the highest quality sources of information regarding philosophy, psychology, personal development, and despite the many disagreements I’ve had with the community, spirituality. Because I selfishly want to see this community prosper well into the future, I felt called to share my experiences in hopes that I may stoke the fire in some by showing what is possible by throwing oneself in. I should mention a few things though – 1) MAPLE is not formally a monastery; it is a monastic container/training space. We followed a daily monastic schedule, but none of the residents nor myself took full ordination vows. 2) The community is explicitly Buddhist. However, the head teacher has a healthy integration of other spiritual traditions and furthermore, spends about 2 months per year training with Native Americans in Earth based spirituality. Even though Buddhism was the primary focus, I felt incredibly supported exploring other traditions, discussing psychedelics, and using language such as God, The Absolute, Infinity, Consciousness, The Self, etc. 3) The focus of the community is to address the many existential risks facing the planet through a combination of rigorous contemplative training aimed at classical Buddhist enlightenment and providing psychological tools needed for effectively changing society from the ground up. Specifically, how are the many modern, existential challenges a function of the modern human mind and how must the mind change in order to effectively, and appropriately respond to such challenges? Challenges such as the rapid development of artificial intelligence, gene editing, new forms of surveillance capitalism, supply chain and food supply degradation, aging and failing economic structures, and global ecological collapse through man made climate change. (This is not an exhaustive list.) Again, how are these external forces a symptom of the human mind and how must the human mind transform in order to effectively confront, and resolve these risks? This is some of what MAPLE attempts to provide an answer for. Modern thinkers such as John Vervaeke, Zach Stein, and most recently Daniel Schmachtenberger have visited and are in the process of potentially collaborating with MAPLE. So while there is a specific spiritual emphasis, remaining rooted in the world to help face these crises is a huge focus of the container. I will structure this in a similar fashion to my past trip reports with themes. I hope this is both an interesting and helpful read. I would also highly recommend in person retreats at MAPLE, or visiting through the various programs. Since the beginning, I felt particularly geared to train at MAPLE because of my background study of Actualized.org. Happy to answer any questions related to MAPLE, my practice, or anything related to this post in the reply section. Themes Meditation Gainz The Value of Spiritual Community Soryu Forall – Finding My Teacher Is MAPLE a Cult? Catching the Ox Bodhicitta as the Embodiment of God’s Love Returning to the Mountain Meditation Gainz Between silent sitting, chanting, and silent meals, I was practicing anywhere from 3 to 4 hours per day on non-retreat days. During retreats, I practiced between 10 – 14 hours per day. One of the immediate appeals of MAPLE was the intensity of the container; it often felt like a combination of Theravada Buddhism and Renzai Zen where practice was the most important focus. One of the criticisms MAPLE has received in the past was that the training was too intense. By the time I had gotten to MAPLE, the container was more docile, having responded to the feedback by softening the intensity (much to my disappointment). Of course when practicing at this intensity day in and day out, there is bound to be some kind of effect on the mind whether positive or negative. In full transparency, it was both for me, but a huge net positive. Enormous psychological material gets brought up with this rigor of practice and because of how little free time I had, I often felt incredibly ‘pressurized’ with very little time to catch my breath. Yet what seemed to occur were moments of rapid processing of the psychological material wherein the challenge would spontaneously drop and be replaced with enormous amounts of equanimity, happiness, ease, and peace. Overall, I experienced more of the positive flavors of emotion than the negative, but the relentlessness of the container facilitated what felt like a non-stop churning of the subconscious bullshit, shadows, attachments into the surface for purification. As a result of this purification, the states I was able to begin regularly achieving during formal practice and have been able to maintain since leaving MAPLE can only be described as psychedelic in quality. Meditation dropping into what feels like a microdose is the standard now while at other times it does feel like a 75 - 100ug LSD trip. The value of so easily achieving these states is difficult to communicate. The plausibility of this possibility is difficult to sell. Overall, my meditation practice feels like its growth curve has begun accelerating in a non-linear fashion where the effort required to achieve these states is minimal. The majority of the effort revolves around just showing up to practice, and because of the habituation of so much practice, even this is not hard. Perhaps it’s karma, perhaps it’s genetic, perhaps it’s due to my past, aggressive use of psychedelics, or perhaps it’s the nature of intensive meditation. I believe it is a combination, but primarily the result of intensive, persistent meditation both before, during, and now after MAPLE. There are others in the community that had practices just as deep as mine and some deeper and therefore, I bias towards believing these results are due to the intensity of the training rather than something special or unique about me. The Value of Spiritual Community Leo has often criticized spiritual communities as a distraction, just another form of playing social games and bullshitting ourselves. This is a paraphrase, but my interpretation of Leo’s stance. Whether this is an accurate assessment of Leo’s stance or not, this was partially my framework coming in, a framework that created a sense of suspicion and skepticism about MAPLE. For the first month, I found myself internally at odds with my lack of independence, as though the lone wolf archetype that I had come to hold so dearly was slowly starving. It was very painful and showed up in many ways in many moments. As time went on, as I spent more time socializing, living in community, and meditating my ass off, something strange began happening. I realized because of the integrity of MAPLE and because of the integrity of the individual community members, I was pushing myself harder than I had ever previously pushed myself alone. So many ways I distracted myself with internet usage, video games, smoking weed, watching Netflix, etc., where not only unavailable, but the craving for their usage was gone as well. The social pressure of living in a community of individuals who were devoting their lives to something greater than individual interests and selves was inspiring, forming a sort of collective accountability and momentum. I cannot speak for every spiritual community. I cannot speak for every ashram or monastery. But due to my own direct experience, I can speak about MAPLE and hold an open mind that there is a genuine power and advantage to training in a community setting. (I speak more on this below.) Though I am glad Leo’s content fostered a deep sense of independence and personal authority, as this served me many times even while at MAPLE and certainly as I’ve come back into normal society, I am glad to have surrendered myself in some way into a collective mind and space. Sometimes the whole is greater than the sum of the parts and it turns out, sometimes the greater whole can reach back and serve the parts. Soryu Forall – Finding My Teacher There’s the cliché saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” And this was exactly, utterly, and profoundly my experience meeting Soryu Forall. This man is like the Bodhisattva version of Peter Ralston in his prime; he’s kind of like a Dharma football coach. Soryu speaks with a compassionate ferocity and unusual clarity. The man walks with unquestionable integrity and is routinely open to feedback from the community despite holding a position of power and authority. There were multiple instances where we had one on one communications where I was questioning decisions he made or topics he discussed and he would legitimately listen without getting defensive, holding hidden agendas, or gaslighting as so many guru figures are known for. I never once felt any kind of pressure from him other than to work hard practicing and face the truth. Yet beyond his intense personality and relational openness, Soryu’s life purpose is to help preserve life on the planet in the face of the myriad of existential risks, and it is this life purpose which told me I’d found my teacher. Story time - A few years ago my main focus in spirituality was exploring consciousness, primarily using psychedelics as taught by Leo. However, as a result of these deep explorations, I discovered an unexpected pain that could only be held as some kind of collective wound rather than anything having to do with my personal psychology. It was as though I encountered the crying out of the planet itself. As a result of these medicines, I was continuously running into both a deep, species level collective pain and even greater, a planetary pain as a result of human activity. The work of Christopher Bache comes to mind as a written example of what I felt like I was running into (Christopher’s work helped contextualize my experiences as I was having them before I’d ever read LSD and The Mind of The Universe; discovering his work was extremely validating as well as clarifying.) It was as though psychedelics completely cracked open my personal psychology, and spirit, catapulting me into this enormous pain and suffering the planet was experiencing as a result of human activity. I was left very broken on multiple occasions and confused on a number of my most recent journeys. At least this was the case until my first meditation retreat. On this first retreat, I directly experienced how the purification of my mind that was occurring as a direct result of meditation was purifying my personal mind of the very qualities psychedelics had shown me to be responsible for the catastrophic destruction and tragic proliferation of suffering on the planet. Greed, hatred, ignorance, anger, envy, pride, good ol’ selfish egotism, etc. – Mindfulness purifies these qualities of mind. These qualities of mind are deeply ingrained in modern humanity and become increasingly worse as one moves up power structures, mainly governments, corporations, and those with massive amounts of wealth. Because of this retreat experience, I realized I encountered the root cause to all of these concerns and therefore, at last had the power to take responsibility for these. So how does this relate to Soryu? Soryu was the first spiritual teacher I’ve met that not only recognizes this relationship between meditation practice and purifying the qualities of mind responsible for destroying the planet, he has been the only teacher I’ve met with the integrity to take responsibility in some way for this relationship. While most teachers and teachings are oriented around personal liberation and self-centered enlightenment, Soryu has shown that there is an alternative path within spirituality, that one can awaken while simultaneously deepening a compassion and effectiveness to serve the world. In this way, awakening becomes a vehicle for compassionate work in the world, and compassionate work in the world becomes a vehicle for awakening. And this embodiment of the intersection between the contemplative path and existential risk was the very intersection shown to me by my use of psychedelics and my first retreat. Soryu was and is an embodiment of an energetic archetype I felt within myself, to some extent. Obviously we’re different beings and obviously our most self-actualized forms will not be identical, but in many regards, he has served as an embodied example of what is possible to become on this path if one’s life purpose is centered around addressing existential risk through a contemplative, spiritual framework. Similar to how discovering Christopher Bache’s work was enormously validating for my psychedelic explorations, discovering Soryu and MAPLE has been enormously validating for my experiences with meditation. Is MAPLE a Cult? I felt called to address this because of the obvious reputation communal, spiritual communities have. It was a concern my family and some friends had as well before I arrived and given how horrible many spiritual communities have turned out in the past, it feels warranted addressing this topic. In many ways yes MAPLE could be defined as a cult. There is a dress code, we follow a formal schedule, there is limited free time, and in some regards, there is a central power figure in a leadership position (Soryu) that directs the momentum of the space. However, this framing is incredibly more nuanced than a black or white yes or no. While there were cult-like qualities living at MAPLE, what are the advantages and what are the feedback systems MAPLE has created which prevent unhealthy power and relationship dynamics from forming? Why would I have stayed in the community for 6 months if I felt it was cult-ish? When following a strict schedule that forces one to meditate, eat healthy, exercise, follow a consistent sleep schedule, and ask existentially challenging questions, all within the space of an incredibly nourishing community, it turns out this is one of the healthiest ways a human can live. Shocking, I know. While there are advantages to taking personal responsibility for forming these daily habits, the fact of the matter is most seekers and self-actualizers fail at this because of a myriad of societal and internal stumbling blocks. Until our minds have become deeply purified in the contemplative sense, we are very susceptible to environmental conditioning. Because of the state of our modern society, this environmental conditioning is almost always negative. Furthermore, because our minds have not been sufficiently purified and are enmeshed in toxic environments, most minds are not trustworthy enough to stay committed to behaviors aligned with their highest values and ideals. By spending dedicated amounts of time intentionally surrendering one’s authority to an external training environment, this can circumvent one’s environmentally conditioned bias towards self-sabotage. If this training environment is healthy and focused on deep introspection, the integrity of the training space can be ingrained, absorbed, and then intrinsically grow out of the personal psychology. One can adopt the training space’s mind, so to speak. Rather than constantly flailing around on one’s own in cycles of success and failure, legitimate long-term momentum can begin building and therefore, real reprogramming can start taking place in the subconscious mind, a reprogramming that biases towards these healthy habits and has the integrity to follow one’s highest ideals and values. This was my experience at MAPLE. Of course, all of this is contingent upon the environment being trust-worthy, self-reflective, and having the necessary feedback mechanisms to remain healthy. This brings us to the second point. From every angle I looked and despite enormous skepticism, from what I can tell MAPLE is a trustworthy environment, has a trustworthy community, and has a trustworthy head teacher. Integrity and personal responsibility are routinely emphasized. Public apologies for fuck ups and taking ownership over one’s own mind are the standard. It is continually emphasized to not hand one’s authority over to Soryu and that his role as a head teacher is ultimately only there to help support one’s own awakening process. At every level of leadership, any other level of authority whether from a random retreat goer, or a new resident/apprentice, everyone is welcome to give feedback. This environment of continual, open, and encouraged feedback helps eliminate blind spots in the community, as different levels of perspective and views are allowed to emerge and be held by the collective. It felt very much like a psychological, strange loop, where every level could contact and communicate with every other level. I believe the heavy emphasis on spiritual practice and Buddhist ethics are part of what made this possible. If a community weren’t centered around these types of values and relational feedback mechanisms, the risk of dangerous cult formation seems high. Instead, there was continuous collective reflection and feedback, helping shape and mold power structures and dynamics at every level. It felt like a community boarding on SD stage yellow. So back to question – is MAPLE a cult? I said in many ways it could fit this definition, yes. And yet it is no more a cult than the United States of America, any other country, and no more a cult than the social dynamics that occur as one lives in community with roommates, family members, or even alone. The environment and the social elements of one’s environment will always play a role in shaping one’s psychology. Our minds are not separate and independence is an illusion; existence/form is 100% conditioned at every level. In this way, it is almost impossible to escape being shaped by cult psychology from one’s environment save for the most highly developed sages. Does one live in a trustworthy environment? Can one create a trustworthy environment? Can one trust their own mind to judge and create a trustworthy environment? Overall, the structure served a deep purpose and has had a rooted impact as I’ve come back into the world. Catching the Ox It turns out all the great sages and mystics of the past and present are correct – the self is not an object, it is not a perception, and certainly not a state of consciousness. Self-realization is not to be found in a psychedelic trip, nor in any comparison of ‘this state vs. that state,’ even when comparing a state of self-realization to a state of non-self-realization. Self-realization is not found in a monastery. God is not it. Emptiness is not it. The self is not it. Non-self is not it. Formlessness is not it. Form is not it. And yet to say there is no recognition, no enlightenment, nor God is not it. There is truth, there is the realization of truth, and there is the realization of truth’s uncompromising permanence and necessity of permeating realization vs non-realization. It really is nothing whatsoever and yet permeates all possible states of mind, perception, consciousness, or whatever other word used. It is reliable, it is a source of happiness, and it is that which creates all conditioned existence through form. Everything, including God realized states of consciousness and unconscious states of consciousness, arises out of, and passes back into it and yet themselves are it. Enlightenment is an absolute paradox. Only a mind capable of holding paradoxical thought will find this description understandable, or helpful, yet this form of thought is very much accessible if one commits to serious practice. The intensity of MAPLE’s training schedule and the intensity of the interviews with Soryu helped facilitate an undoubted encounter with reality that has only continued flowering. In the 10 ox herding model of Zen, I feel confident I have encountered Stage 4 out of the 10. The next step is “taming the ox,” or in other words, letting this realization pierce so completely and totally that all waking, dreaming, and dreamless states abide in the knowledge of self, the knowledge of emptiness, the knowledge of reality. I could also say the next step is further exploring what it actually means to catch the ox. Stage 4 seems to have enormous depth. Practice will involve the continued purification of mind from mental defilements and cultivation of mind with wholesome states like concentration, equanimity, and clarity, which facilitate the dynamic creation of actualized self-activity. As one comes to know one’s true nature, the relative mind structure begins to reflect and mirror the truth through embodied existence; the truth transforms the mind as the mind clarifies what is true and not true. Right action, speech, and thought spontaneously arise from the flow of life, all in achord with one’s highest ideals and values. To truly self-actualize, one must have the desire for the truth, both the truth of one’s true nature which gives rise to enlightenment and the desire for the truth of one’s authentic desires which give rise to self-actualization. Bodhicitta as the Embodiment of God’s Love One of the most important Buddhist concepts I learned while at MAPLE was Bodhicitta, which can be defined as the aspiration for awakening for the benefit of all beings. It is a stance towards awakening that seeks to serve the awakening of all beings, rather than merely the awakening of oneself. Yet of course this is a paradox, as who else is there to awaken but you? What other being is there to awaken other than you? Yet there is suffering, there is unhappiness, there is ignorance of truth across a myriad of endless beings; one need only walk outside to observe this fact. Furthermore, one need only look at their life to see the role various teachers and the condition’s of one’s environment played in their own awakening process. What is the intelligence, compassion, and love that worked behind the scenes to facilitate this personal awakening for you? It was the love of God. It was Self-Love. It was a love and compassion so pure that it could only have originated from that which is totally without self. Can one step into the humility needed to encounter just how profound and significant it was to be born a human, to be born in a world where there are legitimate teachers teaching the way, and to be born with the conditions to even learn about and open up to the possibility of enlightenment? What ARE those conditions? Why do they occur? How is it possible we could have discovered any of this? Love. When vowing to remain in cyclical existence for the sake of all being’s the Bodhisattva through this cultivation and absolute Bodhicitta, vows to remain, to help serve until every last moment of consciousness, every last manifestation of form, is awakened, completely and utterly. The goal is asinine, insane, utterly grandiose, and of course, pure paradox. It is a goal only accessible through understanding of the nature of self and God, whether one uses those words or not. Moreover, it is a goal too overwhelming for a self to take on and too paradoxical for a self to make sense of. When one encounters the compassion of a Bodhisattva, awakens to a glimpse of what a being of this caliber is like, it necessarily cracks the heart wide open, revealing something so far beyond what normal human emotion or mind can comprehend. I consider Soryu Forall to be a partial embodiment of this Bodhisattva archetype.He has served as a legitimate sign post to work towards this Archetype, to actually allow the life force of the awakened mind and heart to serve something other than the illusion of self, and instead, serve reality itself. I have no illusions that he doesn’t have further work to do, but I would be foolish to not recognize the enormous depth of his awakening and honor the significance of meeting a being who's taken on these vows in the flesh, working to embody these vows with integrity and authenticity. It’s easier to see the consequences of such vows, integrity, and authenticity when one has a living example. During my time at MAPLE, I lay ordained, taking these vows as well, but in truth, the vows themselves emerged on their own without any part of the personal psychology wanting or feeling good about it. In fact, it felt more like a remembering of promises I’d made long ago rather than some new, profound stance towards how I want to live my life, in this life and beyond. Returning to the Mountain I have plans of returning to MAPLE later this fall to become a full time resident. There is a powerful calling to take responsibility for humanity's existential predicament and it seems karma predisposes me towards wanting to help through addressing the root cause - the mind. I feel a deep responsibility to awaken both because I consider Truth to be one of the highest values in life, but also because I feel a responsibility towards mankind. How could I see this relationship between the internal and external so clearly and not do something about it? For a number of other personal reasons, my experiences with psychedelics, and now primarily meditation, the work I want to do in the world involves helping teach this practice. I want to teach this path as a means to create peace on the planet and to foster a new humanity capable of creating harmony with itself and all of life. If humanity cannot scale a collective wisdom and love with its rapidly developing power, the planet will not last. I consider psychedelics a necessary component to this collective transformation, as without some kind of exponential waking up, humanity will not respond in time. Yet humanity also needs teachers, and leaders capable of showing the way in the grounded, natural state. For now, I am called to train and work with this community as a way to help facilitate this collective peace and harmony. Final words I really think MAPLE would be a great spot for many in the Actualized.org community to visit. Its emphasis on awakening yet awakening within the context of how one may serve the world fits the ethos of Leo’s work on Life Purpose, from my point of view. Having studied Leo’s work so thoroughly before coming to MAPLE was a massive advantage. Evening studying the work and sitting with Peter Ralston was a massive advantage as well. It feels like MAPLE is a bit of an underground spiritual community right now, but is a perfect fit for those who are into Leo, Peter, or Shinzen. It’s here to support serious truth seekers, sages, self-actualizers, but most importantly, those who have an aspiration to serve the world during these troubling times by taking responsibility for one’s mind. Therefore, if one has goals of serving the world and particularly within domains related to existential risk, yet also seeks the truth, I would recommend checking it out. Plus since I’ll be there for the next little bit, it would be cool to meet some other’s from the forum. This is all for now. With deep mettā.

^Your lack is self-evident even if you do not acknowledge it. But they say let someone persist in their folly so that they may become wise. You say you are not asking for any advice or opinion, if you ask for people to ask you questions they will also respond with advice or opinion. Its like putting content out publicly and not expecting criticism. What you ask for does not matter, you accept what is, because everything is divine. If you were awakened...you would notice this. Awakening is freedom, not the perpetuating of conditions, the ego wants to control which is what you are doing. So I will ignore the ego you project and do as I please.

I don't pretend to know anything I don't know, nor do I pretend to be complete in my enlightenment of self. So where there is an opportunity to learn, I ask. And where there is an opportunity to teach, I answer. These are the only two patterns of love in the most absolute of senses - the teach/learn and learn/teach patterns. This is what I've awakened to, this is what I mean by infinite knowledge. Love is the eternal learning and teaching of Self by self/selves, the complete enlightenment of what it means to be the One Self. And imagination is the only means of accomplishing this Activity called Love. Now I ask, is there a grounds to this eternal phenomenon, is the reason to this existence we call Love? The simple answer to this is the I Am what I Am. But this is no reason, this is no logic, this is no grounds. This is simply a recognition of Self by self. Hence I say, we/you/I are absolutely transcendental, and the only law or principle which gives shape to so-called reality, is the principle of Free Will, that is - one can only ever know what one is willing to know, and be what one is willing to be, and do what one is willing to do. Will is the absolute truth. Freedom of Will is what we are talking about when we say Love. However, this is not a why, it is only Truth without contrast, without question. With that being said, I'll ask once more. What is it that we awaken to other than one's own Will?

Yeah it should be impossible so what if it happened? What would you think? How can you explain the occurrence I'm talking about? You DEFINITELY haven't "awakened" (cringe term lol) if you believe there's an omnipresent you entity. The ego is still appearing then. You don't need to be there for reality to be there. Experienced by nobody. The "experience" being the very thing it is, self contained like how light is light. No magical entity needed to light it, since it is light. Consider the blatant wrongness of "Self" ideas, even without it ceasing to exist for you... The amount of BS Spira etc have to invent to explain obvious occurrences like deep sleep. "You" are some magical awareness screen but don't see anything but whatever is in front of your ego? Bunk incorrect teachings. Bunk religious beliefs.

Does anybody else think it's strange that people are answering questions in this thread that are presented for me? Notice the title of this thread "I awakened - ask me anything", this makes it very clear that all questions are directed to me in this thread, so that I can answer them, not so that somebody else can answer them for me.

^ I would say I believe you certainly experienced an Awakening so congratulations. But you are lacking in the sense making department. Your relative perspective is just a thought in INFINITY. You need to develop your ability to deconstruct so you answer with clarity. Don't start teaching until you can answer questions that are presented concise and clearly. Not every awakened person is automatically a teacher, also enlightenment actually reveals that you can help others awaken in infinite ways. You can help reveal the divinity in all through things such as music, art, medicine/healing, social relationships, etc. Your ability to express the divine is contingent on how much you have developed the gifts you have. = If you were never good at explaining complex things before your awakening....don't expect that to change. Awakening reveals that God's gift to you is your finite expression of divinity which must be earned. God is unconditional love. This means you need to develop whatever talents you have just for the sake of it. Through that process you will be able to finetune and cultivate it, then the divine infinite intelligence will shine through you and your mastery will be self-evident. The whole purpose of awakening is to recontextualize your lived experience, to remove the scales from your eyes and to give evidentiary value to your life and all of your experiences. Its to empower you and simultaneously hold your feet to the fire. Its both the most beautiful thing and arduous thing. Its one thing to realize God, its another to embody it.

Thank you for the replies This morning I purchased a book in which the author talks with materialized ascended masters, who are apparently what we knew as ministers when Jesus was alive - Saint Thomas and Saint Thaddaeus, although they go by different names now, Arten and Pursah. They mostly discuss ACIM, the life of Jesus (shortened to J in the text) and clarify some concepts. I save quotes that seem most significant and I want to share them, perhaps others will benefit: ARTEN: There is no Saint Paul, not really, or anyone else — including J — except in a dream. There’s nobody out there. There is only one Son of God, and you’re It. You’ll get it, but it takes years of practice to really experience it. You have to want it, but I know you do. Renard, Gary R.. The Disappearance of the Universe (p. 46). PURSAH: He never cursed a tree and killed it, never got angry and knocked over the tables in the temple, but he did heal a few people who were already dead. Also, his body died on the cross, but he did not suffer as you would imagine. As for his way of being, mere words cannot do him justice. To be in his presence was an experience so unique it gave you a feeling of wonder. His peace and unalterable love were so total that sometimes people couldn’t stand it and they had to look away. His attitude was so calm and sure it made you want to know how he did it. Those of us who spent a lot of time with him and, as in my case, got to speak in private with him, were inspired by his complete faith in God. Renard, Gary R.. The Disappearance of the Universe (p. 49) Fear was not a part of him. His attitude was the same as if you were having a dream last night asleep in your bed, except you were totally aware of the fact that you were dreaming. And because you knew you were dreaming, you also knew that absolutely nothing in the dream could possibly hurt you, because none of it was true; you realized you were merely observing symbolic images, including people, who weren’t really there. J used to tell me when we were alone that the world was just an insignificant dream, but most people weren’t ready to accept such an idea because their contrary experience was so strong. He then stressed that knowing the world is an illusion is not enough. The Gnostics and some early Christians called the world a dream; the Hindus call it maya and the Buddhists call it anicca, all meaning pretty much the same thing. But if you don’t know the purpose of the dream and how to reinterpret the images you are seeing, which is something we’ll get into later, then the general teaching that the world is an illusion is of very limited value. However, he also said the time would come when the Holy Spirit would teach people all things — which is something we hope to contribute to by sharing some of J’s newer teachings with you — and that everyone would know only God is real. Sometimes at the end of a conversation with me he would just say, “God is,” and walk away. Renard, Gary R.. The Disappearance of the Universe (pp. 49-50). One of the other things about him that’s rarely mentioned is that he had an excellent sense of humor. He was quite irreverent. He liked to laugh and bring out the joy in others. GARY: And he was totally awake? ARTEN: Yes, but let’s be very clear about what we mean by that. We’re not saying he was more awake in the dream, we’re saying he had awakened from the dream. That’s not just a minor distinction, Gary. Indeed, being more seemingly awake in the dream is what passes for enlightenment among very many, but that’s not what we’re teaching. You can teach a dog to be more alert and impressive and to live its so-called life to the fullest, and almost any human can be taught to raise his consciousness. You can always be taught to approach the dream with a clever thought pattern in an attempt to bring about something more, different or better. But our brother J was completely outside of the dream. He wasn’t advocating a way of making your delusion better, or telling you how to strive for self-expression so you won’t die with an unmet potential. Such exercises may temporarily make you feel better, but you’re still building your house upon the sand. Renard, Gary R.. The Disappearance of the Universe (p. 50). J would even agree with some of it, most important that the world is very much like a dream and God did not create it. Renard, Gary R.. The Disappearance of the Universe (p. 71). Hay House. Kindle Edition. Don't really comprehend the last quote, if there is just God, then who created or creates the dream? There was some further discussion, which clarifies that what God creates is eternal and perfect, so this world cannot be his creation. Perhaps they are talking about the "evil" aspects of the world that get deleted when you realize it's an illusion, but not sure.

The story of Richard's life is he was honest with what he believed and created a personal value system and tried his hardest to live up to it even if it hurt his feelings. He was a maytr and became one because he admired the story of Jesus. He believed true strength was in self-sacrifice as the true expression of love and truth. He didn't know better, and was unconscious but hey NO JUDGMENT!! But despite this he did cast judgment on himself, his world, and his entire life. He kept searching for answers because he knew his worth he just didn't understand what he was missing. What he was missing of course is what most men miss their feeling!!! He denied himself of his feeling and it was slowly killing him!!! He didn't care!!! He refused to consciously betray his highest truth!!! It took him meeting a girl who was his polar opposite to shake his worldview up and take leaps of faith that went outside of his perspective. He judged his polar opposite not realizing she was just his reflection in the opposite direction. Richard has since learned that everything happens for a reason. The Law of Attraction is real, and so is Manifestation. He manifested others in his life who were going through the same problems. God spoke through Richard and these others and helped them hear their own feelings which they had discarded. Together they were able to finally reconnect with their feelings and regain the driver, the GPS of this game called life!! Life is like you are in a car, you need knowledge to see what is in front of you, and you need love (feelings) to be able to choose where you want to go. Richard struggled to make decisions because he could see what was in front of him but he lacked the love(feeling) to be able to find his way to his destination. But what is so great about life is God has already provided all the answers. Richard went to sleep with this playing....and it healed his heart and he awakened to paradise!!! Everything is love, only a damaged heart would ever judge love....because it is too broken to recognize itself!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTmPt5ZSLPI I share this with you with all my love!!!

God is the source of reality. For God to truly understand itself it must put it self asleep and fool itself to believe in others. By believing in others, it loses belief in itself and designs itself by the reaction it gets from others. It then will awaken itself when it is ready and has a master plan to teach itself the purpose of life. Since the Richard avatar believes simplicity is key to understanding and complication only gets you lost here it goes!!! The purpose of Knowledge, So you can see life clearly with distinction so you can understand what is going on. The purpose of Love, So you won't judge what you see, but experience all of life as Infinite Love. When everything can be seen clearly, and all feeling is love, then the beauty of life is revealed and every moment is paradise. This is when you know you have awakened as God and that every life no matter how it looks from the outside is heaven. Because the truth is there is no inside or outside, so if you are in heaven in your mind then you will experience everything as divine!!! So I cannot wait for you all to awaken.....it is the greatest gift ever!!!!!

Alas .. meditation is a human endeavor, God has never meditated. Nor has it taken a psychedelic. A truly awakened Buddhist can admit Buddhism/meditation is a construction of his own Mind. A truly awakened Psychonauts can admit his psychedelic excursions are also a construction of his own Mind. Both can have their blindspots, which need to be acknowledged and taken seriously. Once one obtains God Realization, the method is irrelevant. Debating over this stuff is useless, yet more human / chimp games that are being played.