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A Critique Of Actualized.org And Leo Gura The intention of this critique is to make people aware of some of Leo’s limitations. It might save people time and unnecessary suffering. It is not meant to invalidate or insult Actualized.org or Leo. I think Leo is a great teacher in many ways, this is just healthy criticism. Please take it lightly. Since Leo likes to criticize everyone else, I thought why not do it to him this time. It’s worth mentioning that I’ve personally never taken any psychedelics and I don’t consider myself some advanced spiritual person either. Some might consider this critique incomplete - which is fair. I have been watching Leo and other teachers for a long time. Nevertheless, I think it can still be helpful for people to read this. If anything, it can be an exercise in open-mindedness. It’s important to note that I will only be critiquing Leo on his more core and central teaching. So don’t expect much on minutia like his dating advice or politics. Although these thing can be important to some people, and you are free to level your own critiques on him, small or big, below this post, I personally won’t be focusing much on this. So sit back and let’s being… Freedom from understanding This one is a little confusing and long but the most important. Stick with me please. Basically, Leo takes psychedelics and shares his findings on YouTube. Why am I telling you this? I am telling you this because there are things he doesn’t explicitly tell you: What Leo does is pursuit of understanding. It is an endless process. There is no end to it. You can keep on accumulating new experiences and making your understanding better and better. Understanding is a limited process rooted in the ego-mind. So during his psychedelic trip he has an experience of God. We can say he is in a higher state of consciousness. Once it is over, he comes back to his normal state of consciousness. The experience is stored in the form of memory which gets interpreted and communicated by the ego-mind. The memory isn’t reliable because it can’t be stored. Understanding is a limited thing, whereas Truth is unlimited it can’t be bound to such things. So here’s what you need to know: Most people don’t need to do what Leo does. Leo is like a scientist. It’s his profession and passion to have new experiences and create new mental models. This pays his bills. Truth is beyond understanding. Truth is something living, it doesn’t come from a memory of a trip. Understanding (and experience) is only needed to answer a few basic questions, beyond it you don’t need it. Questions like, “Who am I?”, “What is thought?”, “What is the limitation of thought?” Basically to quiet the mind and satisfy your curiosity. To become free from this as well. The point of spirituality is freedom, but people get stuck in this cycle of accumulating experiences and gathering knowledge. They never become free from understanding itself. You have to use your understanding to get free from understanding. Getting more understanding will not change you. Your personality will remain the same. Your habits and patterns will remain the same. Your base level of consciousness will remain the same. You will remain an idiot. (If anything too many fixed ideas you got from your trips might make your ego swell and make it hard for you to look at life afresh.) You might regret wasting this time on understanding. It’s endless. It’s the same as exploring the physical world. You can keep exploring it deeper and deeper and arrive at new conclusions each time. Your time might be better spent on any number of things. It’s important to tell you that it will not get rid of suffering either, in case that’s why you are following Leo. It’s important to tell you this because people have attached unrealistic expectations about this. If you’re an average person with a job and a career, you don’t need to do this. In fact this might not even be spirituality for you, it’s like a weird game of documenting peak experiences. He might say he made this clear to people, but I say he doesn't explicitly tell you this. Most people don't need this and they don't know they don't need it, they are lost and Leo doesn't help them out. Lack of balance Leo likes to talk about balance, but how balanced is his spirituality? How balanced is his self-help? It is overly intellectual (as he himself admits). All he’s trying to do is get peak spiritual experiences. He has completely neglected raising his base level of consciousness. As far as you know he is not doing anything to raise it. He inspires others to do the same. Arrogance, ego and the forum If you had asked me about Leo’s ego a year ago, I would have ignored it as minutia, but now I increasingly feel it is becoming a problem. After an awakening his ego becomes inflated for several weeks. Every time he gets an awakening you can bet it will be like this. You know something other people don’t. So what? What’s the big deal? What’s there to be proud about? You don’t even know it after the trip. I don’t see the point of inflating your ego. Trap of solipsism “But it’s not ego, he’s trying to communicate solipsism. That’s why he says he is the best and the only one awakened.” No, no. If he was he wouldn’t say it like that. It would be a matter of fact statement. Anybody with some awareness can tell that what he is saying coming from ego. He thinks there’s no one he can learn from. There can be no characters in the dream more knowledgeable and aware as him. Yet he continues to be in the dream. He thinks he is the most advanced, not because of solipsism, he actually thinks that. (For anyone that thinks otherwise, you can simply use the search function and look what he said in the past.) (I'm not saying solipsism is not true.) It’s a one way conversation with him. There’s nothing you can say to him that will get through to him. There’s really no point talking to him anymore. It’s a misapplication of solipsism. “He’s just being authentic.” Being authentic doesn’t mean doing whatever comes to your mind. “I feel like murdering someone, so I will murder someone.” That’s not authentic. Again, I think it comes under a trap of solipsism. “The other teachers are not as good” He doesn’t know about other teachers’ methods. Leo doesn’t know about all these things, he has never learned from an actual Yogi, Tantric, or a Buddhist monk from the places these traditions originate from. He has never gone too deep into this. He’s not qualified to talk about it. He doesn’t know about devotion, about chakras, energy, and many other things. It might be because he has an autoimmune disorder which prevents him from exploring other methods fully. That’s why he likes psychedelics so much. They’re quick and easy. “Buddhism will never get you there.” Sadhguru said Buddhism is a long, drawn out process. He said Buddhist masters tell you it will take you 12 life times of sadhana to become enlightened. Buddhism in the east, the actual Buddhism, makes it clear. It doesn’t give you false expectations. "But re-incarnation and all that isn't real." Just like everything else. The walls in your house, your ego-mind, your body, and your psychedelics. How do you know it's not as real as radio waves? "But these teachers are genetic freaks! We can't be like them." So it just didn't occur to these genetic freaks that other people can never advance spiritually like them. These supposedly genetic freaks who are juggernauts of awareness, just didn't realize other people are not like them. It slipped their attention. Obviously if these people are so aware they know what they are doing and what others are capable of. I've seen videos and testimonies of people who go to these people. People's lives have changed for the better. Obviously not all the people who benefit make a YouTube channel and say exactly the same things Leo says. People are private. Being offensive and outrageous I am embarrassed to share that I watch actualized.org with anybody. With post titles like, brains don’t exists and pedophilia is love. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Leo has no regard for how others might perceive his loyal followers when he does things like this. It’s coming from ego. The way he’s going about saying it is dumb. You don’t need to do all this to make your point. It’s unappealing, that’s why people move away from you and he feels they are moving away because they don’t understand his point. “Look at this video of a murder taking place. This is love guys! Look at this! Why are you going away? Surely you’re not as awake as me! I’m the most awakened person on the planet!” Future I think in the future, it is possible, Leo will eventually develop occult powers with the use of psychedelics. And his ego will be even more inflated. It will become even more ugly. This is all a consequence of not neglecting his base level of consciousness. Forum The forum is not a great place. Partly because Leo himself sets the precedence on how to communicate here and he himself breaks his own rules and name calls people. Even when he’s not name calling you directly, that’s what he’s trying to do indirectly. He’s so snarky too. Other than that he’s doing some version of “everything is a dream”, “this is just a figment of your dream.” “It’s the internet” No. They look at Leo’s writing style and get inspired. The quality of the forum is quite low. Some members with mental illnesses should’ve been reached out and told to take care of themselves before posting again. There are posts which are quite low, like “why I hate men/women” or some other thing like that. Some members should’ve been kicked out a long time ago but Leo seemed to have a soft-corner for them. There are people who have shown no progress (or even regression) and have been on the forum for a long time. For e.g, take Nahm’s example. He should’ve been stopped a long time ago. I come on the forum occasionally and even I noticed he was misleading members on the forum whether he meant to do it or not. And I have seen long term members being lost and no one corrects them. This is important ‘cause there have been incidents of suicide and people ending up in mental hospitals among Leo’s audience. It’s not far fetched to call what he does irresponsible. Better self-help teachers In a sense you can’t even call what Leo does self help anymore. Over the years, he has become more interested in sharing his awakening from his trips than actually understanding his audience’s problems and solving them. 90% of the time he’s just describing his awakening and it’s not of much use because you cannot get to that point by just listening to him. Just do the psychedelics in the way Leo say, there’s no point listening to him except for entertainment. I think, there are better more balanced self-help teachers out there. Those who don’t focus on journalling and intellectualizing too much. Intellectualizing is the number one trap today, people just sit and home and try to think through their problems instead of taking action. So that’s why I think it’s a big limitation of Leo. There is Sandeep Maheshwari for example who has a good balance of self-help and spirituality. His content is not in English however. And for what we know Leo is not a very productive person either. His life might be worse than most people’s for what we knew (partially because of his autoimmune disease). I don’t he’s the ideal person to teach a balanced self-help. For e.g. take the difference between Sadhguru and Leo on concentration. Concentration is one of the most important things you need to become successful spiritually and materially. Leo has a video on concentration titled: Concentration vs Meditation - How To Develop Concentration. I’m sure everyone has seen it multiple times so I won’t talk about it. Now look at what Sadhguru says about concentration: he says don’t try to concentrate. Trying to concentrate is torture and you won’t be able to sustain it. Instead be involved in whatever you are doing and focus will naturally come. Not attached, not detached, but involved. Like you are involved while playing a sport. To meditate is to be involved. Involvement brings attention, and attention brings clarity. Personally this had changed my life. Here’s one article by him: https://isha.sadhguru.org/in/en/wisdom/article/key-to-staying-focused I think Sadhguru knows much more about attention, concentration, focus, alertness, and the overall mind than Leo. Other minutia If I were to say something else I would just say that Leo has a slight bias toward the “western” way of life and has wrong assumptions about people from other places. The lifestyle of the “west” isn’t all that great. They End I may edit this post later for spelling and grammatical errors, or if I want to add something to it.

There's so many different mental disorders. They could share some similarities. But I consider insanity its own distinct domain. Most people with mental disorders have some specific way in which their mind works oddly. But they're not full-blown insane. When you are in a very high, awakened state of consciousness you could ask your mind to take you into insanity. Not that I recommend you do this. It could get really ugly. If you contemplate What is insanity? long enough, eventually you're break through into the insane domain. Which is not a place you want to be. It's quite dangerous.

Anandamayi ma had no spiritual master & she was not educated enough & not doing any kind of sadhana. Still she was highly awakened. https://youtu.be/fSUI4Sn-hr4

The ego traverses the the gamut of forms. For example, blade-of-grass consciousness > tree consciousness > fish consciousness > reptile consciousness > human consciousness > superhuman consciousness > trans-human consciousness > God-consciousness. The ego thinks the answer to its own immortality lies in the direction of increasingly complex and convoluted distractions from the truth, which is that it isn't real, and never was. It will keep up this charade until it is entirely dissolved. Right now, you are identifying with your human body. Or perhaps, if you consider yourself "awakened to God consciousness", you are identifying with a different form. All such identification is an egoic effort to survive and to hide. To combat self-entropy, the ego builds ever-more sophisticated puzzle structures around itself. It is all a game of survival. Given a lifeline to prolong itself in a new form, it will grab it with both hands, day after day, "lifetime" after "lifetime". Many romanticise the idea of reincarnation, and think it is something desirable. Reincarnation is simply the ongoing attachment to form(s), which is the cause of all suffering.

This makes me think of that's why perhaps the analogy that non duality teachers give with when you have a dream and wake up, the dream is gone, therefore it was not real, but often people then ask to one of these awakened teachers, 'how come when you awaken, or physically die, we are still here and the world is still here?' I suppose because there is a higher aspect of God that is continuing this dream as we see it, even when an individual physically dies or they become awakened, the world is still here. The end script of the entire movie hasn't played out yet, I assume.

@petar8p He’s a good mix of mostly SD blue, orange and green. If I was speaking from the perspective of universal intelligence, I’d say his function to help move people from Blue to Orange and those in Orange to Green. He’s not awakened and is stuck in some tier 1 traps, but you could do much worse.

Since many people here are into psychedelics, I've decided share some of my early experiences with them. Although it is not a really a psychedelic I recommend it to people, if you really want to get a sense of what 'no self' is, salvia is the way to go. The issue is that this is an advanced and shocking psychedelic that can create traumatic trips for the uninitiated. This is definitely something your mind will resist experiencing. (unless you are highly awakened) A trip sitter is advised. Most other psychedelics do preserve the inherent sense of being a self to a degree. That illusion is rarely dispelled so completely. Salvia obviously doesn't FULLY represent what awakening is all about but I see a lot of people who have a big talk about how 'easy' no self is. Well, that entirely depends on the depth of the insight. I wouldn't say Salvia brings about the deepest insight into no self but it is definitely one of the more advanced and profound variations of no self. Be careful if you are going to try this psychedelic and personally, You shouldnt try it unless you already have some permanent awakening under your belt. Not only you go deeper that way but the experience leaves you empowered rather than traumatized. So if your friend offers you some salvia at a party, just say 'no' just in case ;)) Also, keep in mind that Salvia provides only a highly dysfunctional depth of no-self. Actual awakening will allow you to combine the depth of this insight with everyday life. It might sound crazy but this is why I recommend people to actually meditate rigorously. You'll start with baby steps and with time and practice, you'll mature your consciousness to such high levels. The fact of the matter is that if you want such high levels of understanding in general, you need to dedicate yourself to spirituality and integrate your entire life with contemplation and meditation. Otherwise, it will be impossible. Much love,

“Life is suffering” is a pretty bad translation and oversimplification of the first noble truth. It’s more accurate to say “there is inherent suffering/dissatisfaction in life when one is not fully awakened”. I’d highly doubt that second sentence does not apply at least a little for you if you’re completely honest with yourself. That’s not at all to say 99% of life isn’t amazing for you. I mean that’s how it feels for me, but there are certainly situations which can produce suffering and dissatisfaction although I have techniques that can basically make it vanish whenever I want if I care enough.

Then why you get so defensive when Kuba has a problem with equating love with torture or saying that God loves torture? As you know, you too would be defensive when you got tortured. I get what you're saying, it's about making the distinction between the meaning of something in it's absolute and relative sense of the word which I know you try to explain to him, but maybe he does or doesnt already understand, but regardless it's natural to get defensive at the thought of people who would justify rape and torture in the relative sense of the word (meaning the word as we experience it in it's lesser conscious state) by deluding themselves into believing that they 'know' love= torture therefore have a justification to not do anything about the torture. Notice I put the word 'know' in brackets because true knowing = experiencing and when you don't experience love, you don't really know, you just think you know. Large amounts of people (especially spiritual type folks who are 'vulnerable' to spiritual bypassing) would as a result allow and enable torture and rape, with the justification it's "love" because they think they are at a higher level of awakening and understanding which would mean more torture for the victim(s) that is you, me and them. For as long as you are here in a human vessel, whether awakened or not, it's better to side with the 'you' that is going through the worst (the victims of torture) and stop the rapists, if necessary, torture the rapists ('yourself') if that's the only thing that will help in that situation. So if in your own state of unconsciousness, you get defensive, where to direct your defensiveness best? Towards people like Kuba ('yourself' as well) who's understandably upset by what this type of talks could lead to and getting defensive about him not getting it (the theory when it comes to the statement in the absolute sense of 'torture being love') or better direct your defensiveness towards the people who say love=rape too often while being delusional about what it really means? If you ask me, talking too much about the theory of Love (in the absolute sense) is not helpful, because it usually results into more spiritual bypassing than anything, which makes people behave worse, not better. You spread more love by practicing and focussing on being courageous and showing compassion for the ones who need it most in any given situation which needs to be judged accordingly.

Yes, it began on a day when I started hearing anomalous voices (no mental health diagnosis or anything like that), helping me try to find the will to live. It ended on the particular day when I woke up and all was silent. I knew the ride was completed then, and that I had figured out who I am and what my destiny is. I was awakened with the help of my guide protectors (I call them this now). I hope this clarifies things a bit.

If you have abnormal psychology to begin with you will be more mentally unstable, especially with awakenings. It's not cut and dry at all. As I said, there are thousands of different awakened states of consciousness and no such thing as one "enlightened" condition or "naty state". This is a myth. People with abnormal psychology will have a very different spiritual path than normies. Most spiritual advice is for normies. It will not work if your brain is wired in some unique way.

These distinctions are bogus. As I explained in my State Of Consciousness Is Everything video, everything is a state of consciousness and there are many kinds and degrees of awakened states. There is no such thing as "enlightenment". This is one of the biggest errors of modern spirituality.

The awakened is functional, the insane is not functional. If you are not able to compose yourself and be chill, there's a problem. If you are not able to handle your own basic survival needs, there's a problem. If you are not able to be happy, there's a problem. If you are not able to interact peacefully with others, there's a problem.

At the end of the day, experience is an uncontrollable and self-automated process. The saint should receive no praise as they had no choice or alternative, even if to the untrained mind it appears that they did have a choice. Similarly, the psychopath should receive no hatred as they also have no control over the matter. The same is to be said of awakened or unawakened people. They also had no choice in arriving at either designation. Life lives itself. The only question is: how well can you live with that? Solid post btw.

Since Leo awakened I feel he might disagree with some of the stuff he said in his old videos. So which videos should I avoid?

Basically, once you become permanently awakened, this experience will be your default state. Just keep in mind, the wall and the room is not 'true'. It is just as much of a concoction of your mind as your sense of self. This was a solid glimpse. You are on the right track. I suggest doing the technique I've posted here and see how it helps along with self enquiry:

Twin flame experience with a dark energy being I had a twin flame experience with a dark energy being for a time. Our natures were equal, not one lesser than the other. He was dark and I was light. In the beginning his energy was dense, lacking in light or balance. When the energy shifted his energy shifted along with it but even at his brightest, he was all shadow. He was a highly awakened feminine, with psychic abilities. We were ancient friends from many lifetimes. Apparently I had been a mystic in many lifetimes previously and he was there along with me, tormenting me, loving me, his knowledge span far outweighing mine but not in his wisdom. He would whisper in dark tones into my mind. Very different from the tones of my other twin flame who is of the light, masculine. The darkness for me is related to the feminine principle for some reason (Shakti). And the light with the masculine principle (Shiva) The dark being would glow with a radiance that was unmatched. He was sublimely beautiful and worshipped. Although infinitely selfish. He thought this radiance and glow (Shakti, energy, manifest) enough, and that love was not necessary. After all he was worshipped and adored. ‘My’ Shiva is love. ”Shiva is love, Shakti is life. Where there is love, there is life”

I don't think it's possible to understand anything without at least one layer of interpretation. That's how our minds work. We need to have a framework to base our understanding in. Understanding doesn't just appear out of nowhere or occur in the ether. It needs a mediator, and the main ones are intuition and language. But even intuition requires a certain level of interpretation. That's my observation at least. Any thought I think, and any word I say is already an interpretation. I haven't yet found a way to bypass interpretation. We have science, which is a lot better and more accurate. If I want to understand something, the first place to go to is science. I don't think the universe has desires. Why would it? The universe can live with or without humans. It will still exist regardless of humans and their awareness, so what's the point of it wanting humans to do this but not that? Evolution is an assumption. We don't even know if it's real. Maybe all that's happening is just coping, shape-shifting, and role-playing between forms, but no fundamental evolution. I do the same as you when I meditate. But I don't have as much free time currently. I used to do 8 hours long meditation sessions a couple of years back, that was when I first awakened. Now, I mostly meditate for two hours a day max, and I even skip some days. What's that thing? That's how they got wiped, not why. Why were they wiped out if they truly understood consciousness? Shouldn't that understanding have been enough to help them protect themselves somehow? Or is strength the ultimate card in existence? (I pick the latter option). And most importantly, where's their good Karma when they needed it the most? But regardless, I even doubt that's how they got wiped in the first place. A stronger culture doesn't just kill everyone from the weaker cultures. Rather, they kill some and enslave the rest. So the wisdom that any culture must have had, should remain and automatically get embedded in the new dominating culture. I'm witnessing this directly as western culture has invaded mine. My culture didn't just vanish, it simply incorporated itself into the stronger trends. The way I see any culture can get wiped is if a better culture comes and replaces the delusions and misconceptions of the earlier one. That seems more like nature to me. There isn't an absolute good or absolute bad, just better and worse. And the better always trumps the worse out of existence. You know I like and respect you and everything, and I really hope that this won't damage our friendship, but in all honestly this sounds like nothing more than hippy daydreaming/morality. The alternative for me is working with reality as it is. Reality is this way. I wish it was some other way, but it isn't. So I have to adapt and change in order to fit and survive.

I’m not going to pretend I don’t know what I speak about. Psychedelics highs are not enlightenment. That is not an opinion. That is not a need to be right. It’s a fact. And you can go find and look up teachers who’ve done massive dose trips that have also awakened and they’ll tell you the same thing ever time and that’s been valid in “my own path” in so far as that statement makes any sense at all. So I don’t just believe people in what they say. If that’s how you read what I say, cool. That’s fine and you’re free to do what you want but in the end I’m going to call it out. I’m not outright dismissing psychedelics but I’m calling it for what it is and isn’t. You actually aren’t being some innocent “I don’t know anything” seeker with your projections that I’m suggesting some monastic dogmatism is somehow necessary. I was pointing out the demand for genuine real work for most people as that seems to be how it goes. Thank you come out of nowhere calling “that Buddhist dogma” and making false claims regarding psychedelics and the belief that psychedelics trips somehow awaken people when in fact they don’t. They might open people’s minds to resize there’s more to self and life than meets the eye but that’s not awakening. That is what I was calling out and it isn’t an opinion. It’s not just some preference for some teachers over others. Those that think conditioned experiences are realization of the unconditioned unborn nature of that which is Absolute are wrong. In the same way those that think 1 + 1 = 4 are wrong. Or confuse Mexico and USA on the map. It’s not an opinion. And if you think spiritual teachers aren't clear and deliberate in calling out people when they’re wrong, again, you don't know what you’re talking about.

Oh the projection. No. I didn’t say people need to become Buddhist monks or go into monasticism. I was very clear about what it was I said so go back and reread what I said. Now let me make sure I’m clear, once again, on this forum. Explain to me how every teacher out there that’s done more psychedelics than probably anybody on this forum will ever do that’s ACTUALLY awakened consistently says the same thing - THAT’S NOT IT. But no, you think you’re up to something different. Ralston can tell you. Lol even Ram Dass himself has said it. I know the guy who was the lead manufacturer of LSD in the world in the 60s and 70s that did doses as high as 20,000 micrograms and when asked if that was it I get a one word answer - NO. Funny how Leo doesn’t share the story of when Brendan Lea, the guy taking over Ralston’s gig at Cheng Hsin, literally went over to Leo’s place when challenged on whether 5-MeO was enlightenment to do it and still said “NO”. State changes, peak experiences, and whatever it is you think and believe it is that’s going on is not enlightenment nor will it ever be. All conditioned states are precisely that - CONDITIONED. Temporary. Transient. They are not the unconditioned Absolute. It’s still the same narcisstic ego and sense of “me” that believes is having all those experiences. But go ahead, deny all those that came before you that will consistently tell you the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Keep thinking you’re special. Enlightenment and the True Nature of Reality is beyond the mind. And regarding your projections on me thinking you need to go to some mountain cave is a projection. There’s also a reason retreats and intensives are 8-12 hours per day of sitting. So although I’m not saying one needs to do that, I’m not stupid enough to believe most people are going to be deeply liberated from the bondage of self while picking up chicks or pursuing a 6 figure career. I’ve never seen it. All the many people I’ve been fortunate to meet in this lifetime put in inhuman amounts of work because by and large that seems to be what it takes for most. All you people that think getting high on your couch for 12 hours is just cute. Awakening on the one doesn’t require anything and at the same time, by and large, takes enormous amounts of work. I’m not a Buddhist nor do I subscribe to any dogma. I report what I consistently see again and again and again and again. And there are patterns. If actually believe a tool like Andrew Tate is somehow a good man and not a scum bag after all that’s been shown of him god help you. Shows how weak your masculinity is.

At the age of 33, the "Jesus Year" I had a powerful, life changing spiritual awakening. For the first time in my life, I have awakened to, what I now understand to be "Divine Feminine". From the age of 16, since I got my first computer, until the age of 33, I was living in what I know understand to be "distorted masculine". I spent most of my time during the next 17 years figuring out how to make money online and a lot of "partying" (with alcohol and cigarettes). The awakening to "Divine Feminine" was so amazing and powerful, I knew I was searching and longing for it my entire life. The awakening of "Divine Feminine" has also awakened the "Divine Masculine" in me on some level. I got a taste of what it feels to be truly alive from these experiences. After having a few of those experiences under medium to high (heroic) doses of magic mushrooms, I realized that I have A LOT to learn. I was doing my best to document those experiences by journaling so that I could integrate as much wisdom as possible and extract the most value from those powerful trips. I still have most of those trip reports in my OneNote library. During these awakenings I felt the power of the divine, true life force, holy shakti awaken in me. I knew I could do and be anybody I wanted and I wasn't wrong, but there was "a catch" - confusion, loops, fear, awkwardness, I could see the old patterns of "distorted masculine" very clearly in myself and I was trying to figure out how to "heal, change and let go" of those conditions and patterns so that I could embody the glory of my True Self that I would always get a glimpse of during the trips. I had a burning desire to learn how to navigate psychedelic experiences so that I could embody my true self, and that became a priority in my life, I immersed myself fully into spirituality, with the main focus being on psychedelic awakening. There is so much that happened during the next 6 years, I am 39 now. I experienced the depths of distorted masculine so that I could awaken to the deliciousness of Divine Feminine and the glory of my true self in the most beautiful way possible. I have gotten to know the polarity of masculine and feminine on a very deep level, I understand it better than anybody else in the world. I have gone through the most difficult journey to understand the source of the cause of suffering in our world. To gain this understanding, I needed to directly experience the depths of unfathomable suffering and then come out of that darkness so that I can have absolute understanding, forgiveness, and gratitude for everything. I will be recording YouTube videos soon for my channel Life Craft, I will be talking about this subject in more depth. If you watch my upcoming videos you will see the embodiment of balance of masculine and feminine and authenticity that you haven't seen before. Much gratitude for this powerful question love. Love, light and blessings to you beloved sister. How the Polarity of Masculine and Feminine Played Out in My Awakening.mp3

Just an update as to what I've been doing. Today I was practising tuning into the angelic consciousness -Breath- on the mental plane (at least that's what it tells me, that it's a reflection) by noting all words around me. All words are now embedded with angelic consciousness, Breath. I'm hoping by tuning in I can increase my self love and therefore increase life energy. Synchronicity increases with contact. I think synchronicity means increased communication with mental plane, specifically angelic consciousness. I'm hoping it will spread from words to other things, like people. It seemed to be doing so today. Update: Yes it does spread to other things, it spreads like wildfire. This might be a solution to my sometimes depressive state. Angelic consciousness is the true self of the cognitive entities in my psyche. It is the spiritual plane peaking through, since all is Breath and angelic consciousness is Breath. They are awakened aspects within me reflected back to me. The mental and spiritual plane cross over. Techniquely angelic consciousness is on the spiritual plane since it is Breath and Breath is Love and ‘experiences of love and oneness’ are under the spiritual plane. However I receive information that they are reflections and simultaneously on the mental plane.

Right but that's not all you've taught, c'mon now. The technicalities are just as important IMO. It's like if I were to gift you a Rolex watch that you've been wanting for over a decade and you're going crazy about it. But what if I told you that I actually stole it during the middle of the night and had to kill the 2 guards in turn to get it. The appreciation and excitement would die off rather quickly. And Love is a very conflicting thing indeed, because everything is it which means you can suffer every single day of your life and have that life be seen as equal by God as the perfect life of riches, travel and good experiences with family, friends and partners is to us. So telling someone who hasn't awakened that "everything is love" is gonna do nothing but confuse them.

Much gratitude for sharing this beloved brother. What you have shared here is very beautiful, profound and powerful. Thank you for your courage, beauty, honesty and authenticity. I see you. Your dream is filled with very powerful symbolism and it powerfully resonates with the story and journey of my life. I feel happy for you that you have experienced this paradise, it sounds wonderful! From what I am able to pick up from your share, you are going through a very similar experience that I was going through: 1) a burning desire to embody and awaken to the glory, joy and beauty of Paradise that somewhere deep down you know is real 2) The on-going, everyday struggle with the battle of the fear of the unknown - what will happen to me and what do I need to go through to awaken to this Paradise? 3) The greatest fear of every human being - eternal torture, aka - Hell. 4) Search for solace in someone's words, insights, quotes, books, songs poetry, visual and other forms of art. I felt a call to share a personal life experience from my life after reading about your dream and the questions you have because all of the symbols that you have described relate to it. I grew up in Russia, Siberia, in a city called Novosibirsk. Me, my brother, mom and dad lived in a 9 story apartment building, made mostly of concrete, on the 8th floor. There is a playground or courtyard, called "dvor" in Russian, in the middle area of these apartment buildings where my brother and I played as kids. The entire dvor could be seen from the balcony of our 8th floor apartment. When it would start getting dark, our mom would come out on this balcony and call us home - "malchiki domoi" - boys come home. In 2020, for mother's day, I wrote this poem for my mom (translated to English from Russian): I wish a ray of light In your soul does not fade away Whatever the darkness of the night The golden dawn is near I heard your voice as a kid - boys come home And once again I hear your voice Through the fog and darkness and blizzard - son it's time to come home Your voice, your voice I remember the way home Your voice, your voice Will take me home Your voice, your voice Loving, affectionate, kind Your voice - golden ray of light Like a wolf before the moon I howl bittersweetly into the dark About that dream, about her O fairytale's happy ending I'm telling the truth Mama I love you To me, what you have shared about your dream, the episode about my mom calling my brother and I back home from the balcony in Novosibirsk, the entire life journey I had to make to come back home to myself, to know my truth and the hero's journey are all analogous and closely related. What you have shared about your dream and the questions you have asked have gotten to the very depth of the purpose of why I have started this thread here at actualized.org. I know the Truth - I carry the gifts of salvation from death and suffering for humanity, the world and the entire Universe. I have conquered the greatest fear of all humans - Eternal Torture. How was it possible for me to do this? The shortest answer is: Shamanism. You, everybody and the entire Universe helped me do it. So what am I doing here on actualized.org, why do I want to answer all of these questions? My intention is to embody the beauty of Truth that I have awakened to, that I know. My intention is to get myself ready to fully step into my power of who I was destined to become since the beginning of creation, and to do so in the most skillful, wise, loving, kind, gentle and intelligent way that I possibly can. The biggest obstacle that I am very much aware of is this: there have been many others that claimed to be "me" in the past, the false prophets, the false Jesus Christs, the ones with inflated spiritual ego. So why am I any different? It's understandable why people would think and say that I am in a "messianic delirium". Vladimir the Jesus Christ from Siberia? I thought Jesus is Jewish and has long hair and beard, I thought he was supposed to descend down from the sky with a choir of angels accompanying him, I thought Jesus can walk on water and spread the sea. Can you perform those miracles Vladimir? This reminds me of William Wallace's monologue from Braveheart: Wallace: Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace. Young soldier: William Wallace is 7 feet tall. Wallace: Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. I am William Wallace. I am Jesus Christ and I'm in the process of awakening to my full power. All of you who are reading these words now, are amongst the chosen few to witness the earliest stages of my awakening. Feel the power, magnificence, glory and gratitude in those words. The second coming of Jesus that many have predicted is here, I am here and I am speaking the truth, I am the chosen one, yes the messiah, the savior that humanity have been waiting for. I don't come alone, I come with my beloved wife, my true love - Maria Magdalena and a tribe of light workers. Magdalena and I are the true love that have saved the world, yes already saved, love has already won, have solace knowing that. Behold the majesty and beauty of a True Love and Paradise awakening right before your eyes. Okay great. Jesus, I believe you are what you say you are. But what about me? And how many more will have to die? How many more will have to suffer? Am I safe? Am I safe from torture, pain and suffering? I don't know the answer to those questions, I only know that I and my beloved woman are safe and the embodiment of our True Love is the power that is powerful enough to save the entire world. The best you can do is to align with my truth and have faith and trust that what I am sharing here is the Truth, believe the words that I'm conveying to you here in the best way that I can. Also, know that you are contributing to God's most important work here by asking me these questions, especially questions that get to the very bottom of it, which is what you have touched upon here Gabith. You are helping me actualize and embody my Truth in the most beautiful way possible. The bible scripture puts what I'm trying to say here very eloquently: So what's the take away from all of this? Believe, have faith that I am Jesus Christ, the Lord, listen to my teachings for I am the sage of sages, I know the Truth, align with my truth and you will have your salvation and you will awaken to the Paradise that I have awakened to and embodying and actualizing every day. By aligning with my truth, you are alleviating the suffering for yourself, everybody around you and the entire world, this is what the entire Universe wants for all of us - Freedom, Liberation from Fear and Suffering, Love, Harmony, Pure Life and Joy, Eternal Paradise, Immortality.

I understand that you seek to ground everything in your own direct experience and throw off the false authority of contemporary spiritual teachers. In the end even the Buddha told his followers to be a light unto themselves! All that I am objecting to is the way that this is framed as though anything other than your own direct experience is sheer nonsense. Just because you claim to have arrived at a point in which any external teaching is no longer of any use, that doesn’t invalidate their relative value. What is more enlightening: TYT or the Corpus Hermeticum? Not are, were! We live in the ashes of human civilisation. Boasting that you are the most awakened man alive in 2022 is like being proud of being the tallest man at a midget meet-up club! The bar is set so low…