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What else is there to do but live? Death is not the end of life, you said yourself that you know that. In my opinion, if you end it with suicide now, you will traumatize yourself so much that it will be even more difficult in your next life. Try to accept and work with the situation you are in. There is no magic cure for those problems and we all struggle with them to some degree. Maybe try psychedelics or ketamine therapy if you're open to it. Take one breath at a time and relax into your body. If you try your best in every moment, the universe will take care of you. You could also keep a journal and do there what you did here. Just let it all out and slowly banish that negativity from your mind. Or do an art form like paint what you feel or whatever. This is something where you can really be yourself and it's not dangerous at all. Basically, you need to find a way to manage your emotions in order for your thoughts to be changed. Life can be very tough at times and it is much harder for some people than for others, but if you manage to survive these times and allow yourself to grow, you will become a very wise and compassionate being. Think of the people we look up to. Most of them have been in very difficult situations, but somehow they found a way to take control of their lives and that made them who they are. Other than that, they're nothing special so you or anyone else can do that too. Hopefully something of that resonates.

@at_anchor I feel you. They shouldnt have done this to you. They are not allowed to behave in this way. If you feel bitter, it nourishes them and they will comeback to hurt you again. This cycle will never end until you accept it. Maybe they will torture you anyways for years but accepting is the best thing you can do. Suicide is too risky and too complicated + much work involved. You can always escape financially.

I don't think you realise how severe and risky it really is. People in this community have committed suicide because of misunderstood teachings. Are you really willing to take responsibility for people's lives? It's also just plain rude to steal people from another platform to your own discord. You could argue you're acting very much in your own self-interest there, and putting people at risk while doing it.

I've been trying to get better for 10 years now and it doesn't work every time I find myself in a bubble of naivety for a few months or even years before it bursts and then I fall back into another one. Now I see the illusory side of it all, I see that using distractions like music, movies, drugs, women, sports are all useless and I'm still as bad as ever. Even spirituality doesn't attract me anymore, the realizations I've had scare me too much and I would have preferred not to know and stay unconscious but it's too late. I thought that doing street interviews and meeting thousands of people would help me to feel good with others and create bonds but no, I always feel paranoid when I do that, the feeling of being judged or not liked, the inability to open up to others and my body freezing up as soon as a girl I like shows interest in me. And anyway even when I'm with a girl I risk attracting a bad one and if I have a good one like my first one, I'll end up being left or cheated on because she'll see that I'm not loving myself and I'll be back to the same starting point. So using a woman as a distraction won't even help me, except to have the illusion of being happy for a few months. I don't know what to do, it's survival, I can't see myself working 8 hours a day and then on the weekends doing my shopping, cleaning and watching a screen. And even suicide is not a way out, if I could be sure that there is no more consciousness after physical death it would be liberating but unfortunately it is not the case. The only time I feel a little better is when I am myself but I can't stay that way because it's dangerous. When I am myself I often have unfiltered behaviors or cynical comments and if I persist towards that, I will not be able to thrive in this society because I will quickly have repercussions on my actions since there are too many rules and almost no freedom of expression. So I have to play the robot like everyone else and even doing that, I feel out of place or perceived as weird by others. I don't understand how we can have children in this human society, we are so backward I feel more and more disconnected from others, part of me sees them as animals, flesh, we are not worth more than an insect, nothing has value. When I see things for what they are, I have violent ideas and I drop the concepts of good and bad with which I was indoctrinated from childhood. All this indoctrination by religions, sciences, philosophies, marketing, hierarchy, politics makes me sick. I feel more and more like I'm stuck in a flesh body of a race I hate. A human race that I would like to see disappear, I don't want to experiment again what it is like to be a human on earth

It's better to accept than fight. God loves you Tyler. And that's the biggest truth I battled a lot of things in my life. Suicide, mental illness, medical issues, father's death, the loss of a pet, abusive relationships, childhood abuse and trauma, rape and sexual trauma. Despite all the suffering, a voice in me always wanted to live. Everyday.. When my father died, I promised him that no matter what, I will make it through. I'll remember that..... I'm so sick of this place. It always takes my energy two notches down. It's especially hard when some nagging conversation is going on on this forum I forgot. I can use the ignore option. Just ignore a bunch of nonsensical pussies and move on. I'm getting increasingly tired of this forum and not wanting to be here. I think I get it now. It's the toxic Masculine vibe of the forum that irks me.. I am used to seeing healthy forms of masculinity. I had a very hard working dad. I'm used to seeing men sweat it, not in the gym, but out in the fields, construction, mines. So when I see men arguing over a bunch of nonsense, it sends me in rage and triggers me. I don't like men who waste time, act like pussies, don't step up, play victim, aren't hard enough, aren't soft when it's required of them, play mind games, gaslight, manipulate too much, don't show moral integrity, show excessive attachment to religion or sky God, hate women, don't show passion, don't step in to help a woman but just watch, don't act assertive, don't take charge, take shit from a woman, engage in gossip, encourage bro culture, don't have lonewolf energy, can't handle things on their own, don't show anger in a healthy way, act too emotional when it's not called for. Nah..... That's not a man in my eyes. These things trigger me and get me angry at men who act like that. Abhorrent. This forum is definitely masculine, without doubt, but it's that insecure lame incel masculine, the type of masculine you can never admire. That's why it is triggering me so much because all my life I have always been appreciating and seeking healthy Masculinity I can never like or admire men who sit on the couch, play video games, watch porn all day, play shitty metal music, pump in the gym just for likes on FB, eat potato chips, smokes all day, complain about women, never have a vision in life That's a no.. I see these men as boys who never became men. I am not talking about building wealth. But it's nice to see a man having something to do with his life, making decent money, has his own space and dignity, doesn't get into fights, plays video games only in free time, has no alcohol/smoking addiction, works hard physically instead of going to gym and has a vision for the world, Something that he desires and wants. I'm going to kinda leave the forum today and just focus on journaling. I'm tired of the BS forum politics. I know I have said this many times but everytime I wake up I forget that I promised myself to leave the forum. I'm in a half sleepy state and unaware that I had said the same thing the previous day. The forum is too lame and toxic and my first step towards my own development should be to dissociate from the toxicity of this place. To get away from it and to not forget this that this is a lame ass place that serious people can never be too long in a place like this.. Everyone here is only for clout except a few serious journalers. Rest are bullshitters looking for a good time and they hate me because I don't give them that good time. Augurge

Yes this is the Facebook effect. If you ever try to leave Facebook what they do is they show you pictures of people in your contacts and good memories you have with them to prevent you from leaving. It’s the same thing that happens when you’re about to commit suicide your brain shows you all the people that will miss you, all the reasons why you shouldn’t do it and the emotions of regret and a feeling that you don’t want to die. Then when you’re done crying the brain releases endorphins to calm you down. Oh was his a journal? Sorry about that im using the feed so I don’t know where topics are posted.

Of course misinformation antics were vastly disproportionate on the right side. Twitter was right to stand against it. However I don’t like how it just allows them to act on their leftist agenda without shame, even though that is 5x less problematic than Elon musk, it’s still dumb and infuriating because it is a bunch of people together at twitter dictating what is true and what is hate. For example outright banning Jordan Peterson for deadnaming Elliot Page. Yes his comment was distasteful but it’s simply not hatespeech. Peterson actively goes against Nazis and antisemitism. The far right hates him. It shows how seething people at twitter were at Peterson for simply having a strong opinion on trans people. It was not hate and should have been allowed on the platform. Peterson is basically gatekeeping right-leaning youngsters from becoming full blown nazis. But twitter banned him like he was a nazi. That and their lies about shadowbanning outright shows their problematic lack of integrity. Again Elon is way worse, but this lack of acceptance and pushing away of right leaning people just makes a lot of people more nazis. It’s like the left simply can’t accept that there are moderate right wingers. All right wingers are disgusting and evil people in their eyes. Silicon valley loves to spout leftist cultural values while they are basically the epitome of late stage capitalism and almost demonic technical consumerism. They disallow and hate Andrew Tate while promoting the Kylie Jenners and Dan Bilzerians. Even though the influence of those characters is what led people to be so shallow and like Tate in the first place. They gave generation Z social media without any restriction from a young age without any regard for collective mental health. All the people who designed their systems literally put their kids on schools where phones and social media are not allowed etc. Social media has truly messed up a lot of things and people. 1/6 of youngsters in my first world country are seriously considering suicide. I think social media is the main one to blame. They should have just not allowed politics on social media in the first place. No trump, no nazis, no liberals, no conservatives, no communists. Just leave them on their forums and just have twitter for fun things. It’s not like there is any proper political discussion on twitter anyway, just echo chambers.

Attracting a partner to you enough that they wanna spend time with you and call you their bf/gf is just the first step. Interlacing your lives together to be productive and healthy while growing up and probably bringing children into this world is a whole other thing. It's basically a business partnership. Similar to the difference between being friends with someone and starting a business together. All the lack of self-development, trauma, limiting beliefs, ideology, etc that you have deep inside you will come out and so will your partners. If you already understand that this will happen and have already spent years fixing this in yourself then not only are you starting from a better point but you know that it will come and will be ready for it. Regular people that just get into relationships do not understand this and think they can just figure it out and love each other, that's their paradigm. That's basically suicide and why most relationships end up toxic, not working out, or just stale. Its like thinkingg you can start a business without knowing anything about it nor even knowing that you can even get mentors/books that will teach you and then betting your financial future on it. You're gonna end up homeless. That's the naive view of it. When you're on dates with girls/friends with girls/at the club talk to girls about their lives. Talk to them about all their male friends that tried to sleep with them when they were sad/drunk. Talk to them about all the creepy stuff/sexual abuse that they've had to endure. Talk to them about that time they were broke and then their male bff offered to help them out if she would suck his dick. Or when they hit puberty and started showing curves how their step-parent and/or male relatives started treating them differently. Or that time they had a date with this guy that seemed interesting and then ended up drugging her. Of course, these are generalizations and don't necessarily happen to every girl but it does happen to a majority. That is the reality of being a high-value human by default, you become an objectified commodity that other humans fight over. I know of at least 3 girls in modern, first-world, safe cities that almost ended up getting trafficked. There is also the other side of the coin with girls that are not attractive/disabled/live in a 3rd world country and have to deal with all of this on TOP of not getting the positive perks of being a hot girl. As a man as long as you're not lazy or delusional you can work and get anything and basically become a living God that gets anything he wants. That is how you appreciate it; you realize that your masculine drive is basically the human version of infinite divine creation. And when you're able to tap into that the women in your lives really start to appreciate it and basically look up to you as a God. I would never trade that for an easy basic relationship or getting free drinks at the bar, are you crazy?

After meditating, I had this thought : why should I avoid committing suicide, this entire life is an illusion anyway. I know that suicide isn't a bad thing to do in dreams, but If life is a dream, then why is it bad to do it there ???

I have a question regarding one of Leos statements. He once said that you literally have to die to attain enlightenment. I think that statement was either made in "what is consciousness?" or "what is intelligence?". Does that mean for example, when I'm tripping and I'm asked for some mystical creature to jump from the balcony, I should do that? I mean how can i be sure, that there is no "evil entity", that is trying to trick me into killing myself or something? I'm asking that, because i already had similar experiences like that, but i thought, that this was bullshit, and therefore i did not kill myself. I'm certainly not that suicidal guy, but i need that to know what is beyond the profane existence. EDIT: Changed the titel

@lxlichael s a task, would you mind brainstorming for me all of your difficulties from as many angles as you can? I find it difficult to concentrate on a single thing for a long period of time. (Such as more then 5 minutes) before I start day dreaming or thinking of something else that’s most likely unrelated I tend to get bored quite easily and when I do I start to cry - literal tears would come out of my eyes due to the boredom. I’ve also been dozing off during some of the teams meetings due to them being quite boring but only when the camera is off. I have poor attention to detail, poor spelling and grammar. I did however notice in my previous role I created attention to detail for specific things which a lot of my peers commented on. I don’t tend to perform well under pressure in work related and personal situations. I have to do a task a few times, make all the mistakes imaginable and then get comfortable doing it competently. Even before I started this new role. I occasionally had conversations with myself about if I really want to go though the emotional and mental labour of improving myself which is something I’m still struggling with now. I really do feel like doing this current role is too much effort and most self improvement requires too much from me in terms of emotional and mental labour. My diet is piss poor and I know it. It mainly consists of highly processed junk food and lack of water. I can’t seem to bring myself to start eating healthy. My mums cooking isn’t too healthy either as she uses lots of oils and loathe amounts of butters. I’ve lost motivation to exercise I haven’t been to a gym in over 8 months now. In the past when the pain of being stuck got too much to bear I found motivation to start going gym, meal prepping, learning about investing, however that didn’t last long I couldn’t convert the motivation to long lasting discipline. Ive read a lot of the books from Leo’s book list and did the life purpose course but I’ve pretty much forgotten all of it and didn’t really find my life purpose at the end of it. I don’t know if I should try it again. I couldn’t even keep up with a simple meditation habit which I feel like would have benefited me alot. I feel like the walls are slowly caving in on me and it’s only a matter of time before a major life challenge cripples me. I long for that feeling of oblivious euphoria I experienced as a child whenever I would look up at the bright blue sky on a sunny day and smell the fresh green grass and run around without a care in the world. Were every day felt like an adventure and not a mindless grind. During my teenage years I had thoughts of suicide however never acted upon them or did any self harm. I experience bullying and always felt like an outcast and because of this I never really tried to fit in and just keep myself out of site. A lot of the suicidal thoughts was due to feeling like an outcast, me thinking girls don’t like me even though I never really asked any out and not doing too well academically due to my procrastination issue which has gotten worse overtime and also due to my lack of comprehension skills and weak memory. I also tend to think of suicide in a somewhat logical way - as in what is waiting for me on the other side if anything. I would love to achieve a state of bliss were I can go about my daily life without it stressing me out but I don’t know if that would be possible. My Brian just feels really foggy and I just can’t think of the right words to say and I can literally feel my brain numbing when trying to remember something. I spend most of my day scrolling TikTok and YouTube I don’t even play games anymore. I brain is literally rotting away but I still can’t break this cycle. My average screen time is something like 9 hours a day. I’m scared of confrontation and try my best to avoid it even to my own detriment. I feel like a lot of narcissists types can sniff that out of me but I do try my best to avoid such type of people and limit my contact with them. brainstorming all of your life positives from personal strengths to things you enjoy about life that have in the past brought a sense of purpose to you or that you think could bring a sense of purpose? I use to enjoy playing games but I don’t find them enjoyable anymore unless I’m playing some old ones with my friend I was good at my old job and like to think I provided good customer service and kept calm and sincere even if the customer was being rude. I liked learning about the stock market and investing but it’s something I have lost passion for after I ended up losing some money on a trade that I went all in on and haven’t been able to motivate myself to get back into it. I genuinely don’t know what my life purpose could be. I can’t really think of anything apart from investing that has made me get somewhat excited I’ve managed to save up money enough for a house deposit and I may potentially get a mortgage in the next 12 months. However I have started spending a little but more regularly than I should be and have built up some credit card debt. I have a GF who I’ve been with for just under a year. We are doing a long distance relationship however I do go see her every other month as she life a 4 hour drive away. She knows of a lot of my problems and is very supportive. Ideally I would like to start my own business one day however I don’t know if I would be capable of running it especially in my current state I think this should answer both questions however if you feel I need more detail or missed something please let me know and I will try to add more relevant information. Thank you for your assistance

Yes it should and must be legal. The right to die is just as important and valid as the right to live. And along the same line of thinking, suicide should be legalized/decriminalized and barriers raised on bridges be removed. Then I can jump off into eternity.

Some sadness I want to get off my chest. Two weeks ago for the first time I thought of really killing myself. Like doing it right then - actually taking a tram (there was a station nearby), driving to a bridge and jumping off it. First time I had an urge like that. It frightened me. Also I googled "would I die from falling off a bridge" or something along those lines. Overall it was a level up from suicidal thoughts I'd had so far. Never before did they actually refer to reality. I didn't do it because I got kinda distracted and went to eat some food and think about it and stuff. After the meal I no longer felt like it, but I was still shaken. I feel like it was my biggest betrayal of myself in my life. My greatest disappointment in myself. I'm so sad and cry every time I think about this. How could I bring myself to that point? How? How could I hate myself so much as to want to do it? It's the single biggest thing I could forgive myself for. Another thing that makes me cry is that there was a period, I don't know how long (maybe a month?), in which my dancing classes at the gym were pretty much the only thing that I found meaning in. The classes are only once a week and I waited and was excited for them. My instructor is sooo fricking positive and fun. Pretty much my age. I like her very much. These dancing classes certainly wouldn't be nearly as meaningful for me without her positive energy and enthusiasm. She brings in a lot. I wish to tell her one day, maybe before I leave for my exchange. I wish to tell her how meaningful her classes were to me and that what she's doing matters to many people, even if it sometimes doesn't seem like it. Often the participants are kinda unengaged and more quiet, just going along with the dances, and to be honest I was guilty of it too. So I want her to know how much her classes helped me, sincerely. I can only speculate whether I would still be here without them or not. But I'm not sure if I'll be strong enough to say it to her in person. I'm fucking crying again now just by thinking about it, ehhhh. I don't want to break into tears in front of her. Usually I can keep my feelings in check when I'm with people because I'm distracted but this would be too much. I guess I can always text her. Besides if I said this in person at the end of the classes someone else would probably hear it (because she often has some friends that stay with her and drive home with her) and I don't want that. It's for her ears only. * * * * * * * * * * * * In the last 2 weeks I've been doing good. I had a moment of clarity after this suicide thing. I've found hope again. I've been listening to Vernon Howard a lot (love him), doing a LOT of contemplation, noticing my thoughts, breaking through my fears and shame. Had that awakening I mentioned. Did a lot of things I was procrastinating on. I've never been so conscious before. These last 2 weeks have been wild. I'm quite happy. I hope I don't get to the point of wanting to kill myself again. Truly, how can I ever be so fucking stupid and asleep? It's just THOUGHTS! How can I believe a single thing they say? I literally only believe my thoughts when I'm being this unconscious fucking robot walking on autopilot. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I say NO to these thoughts of fear! I can see through you. You are nothing. Try me again. Fucking DO IT! And I'll overcome you by noticing your fakeness once more. And again, and again, and again, if need be. YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME. YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME. You're unwelcome here so once you appear, get the fuck out. There's no space for you in my life. Ehhhh. There's so much to say, so much I've experienced and realized lately. But this is a good time to stop. It's nice keeping things to yourself. There are so many very important things to me I haven't told anyone about. Nobody would care nor understand anyway. But I'm more and more okay with that.

Depression Is Suppression. Get Familiar with that phrase, Depression Is Suppression. When you try to suppress your desires, and try to force/control yourself to delay gratification to obtain or achieve something you are doing harm to yourself. Now I am not saying that there are not instances where this is necessary, because sometimes you have to take that dark trek in the mud. As the saying goes....shit happens. And when shit happens...you wade through it till it ends. But you are not supposed to seek out shit, (stuff you hate) and dwell in it. That's how you get depressed. For example...let's say you want to buy a new car, and you get a job and you absolutely hate this job!! But you suffer through it to get the car. Unless the situation in that job changes....or you get that car pretty soon, you are going to be harming yourself forcing yourself to work a job you hate. The longer you put yourself through this, the more and more you will suffer till eventually your feelings will burst from you trying to suppress them. There will be anger, and if you feel you are trapped.....depression. Why? Because you ignored your feelings/desires. Sorry buddy, but you cannot ignore your feelings long term, they WILL SEEK EXPRESSION!! This is why people snap, because they have been taught to "act right" and be "responsible." I still can't get over how silly this "responsibility" thing is.....responsibility CREATES DEPRESSION!! https://www.brgeneral.org/news-blog/2021/july/men-and-suicide-why-are-white-men-most-at-risk-/ The only thing you are responsible for is existing. That's it!!! Outside of that, anything you add on should be based on your desires. But you see....humans fear their desires....because they consider themselves evil....so this message...is considered dangerous!! Tell people to give into their desires....and they will become like animals!! As if....you aren't already an animal!!!! Are you kidding me? What do you think depression is? ITS DESIRE!!! You desire to be free to express yourself but because you don't feel free to express yourself and feel trapped, you EXPRESS SORROW AT feeling trapped and not being able to express yourself!! Do you see how delusional this is? Does any of this make any sense to you at all? You suppress desire....then express sorrow for not being able to express desire!!! And you wonder why teenagers are so got damn rebellious!! They take one look at you and say....I don't want to become like my parents....look at how depressed they are!!! At the end of the day....reality, and everything in it...operates on desire. Stop trying to control yourself, every time you do ....you are leading yourself towards depression. Check in with your feelings, find your passions in life, then pursuit it. Understand that all your haters/critics are just jealous because you found passion and they lack it. Why? Because they ignore their feelings....and you don't!!! At the level you are able to connect to your feelings and discover what they are saying....is the level you will be in alignment with what you should be doing. Feeling=Motivation, Knowledge= Discernment. Combine the two equals Self Knowledge/Love. This will guide you towards what you actually want to do. Or...you could just ignore it alll...and BE DEPRESSED!!! Why give a damn about your feelings right?

Feelings are one half of truth. They are like a Tidal Wave, a Tornado, a Hurricane! They can consume you, drown you, dissolve you!! Feelings obscure your vision, they reduce your ability to observe what is. Feelings can give tunnel vision, they can make you only see what confirms the feeling being represented. People who are feelings based climb an uphill battle trying to obtain truth. Because they are consumed by feeling, any information that brings up negative feelings will be rejected regardless of its veracity. The Feelings person cannot help this, since they are Feelings based asking them to take in negative emotion is akin to asking them to jump into a raging river voluntarily. It feels like suicide and who wants to kill themselves? People who naturally suppress their emotion cannot understand. Unconsciously they get it, but consciously they don't. For them they would rather stay in the logical world away from a deep connection to emotion, because they too fear the ferocious spontaneous expression of the world of emotion. For feeling people to advance to the truth, you will have to drop your identity to your feelings. Until then, you will never see things clearly and will forever be locked in your point of view.

I feel as though I am a deeply negative and cynical and pessimistic person. I’ve tried psychedelics and have had beautiful experiences where I felt free of time for the first time in my life. Where I was in the present moment. But returning to normal life seems to suck so much. I have no willpower or discipline over myself and I have bipolar and probably some schizoaffwctive stuff too(i would think people are planting thoughts in my head, stuff like that.) i suck at socializing and think I’m gonna lay off the psychedelics for a while and get therapy. Currently I’m playing a lot of World of Warcraft as a crutch. I still work and stuff, but it’s as though I’m not really living for anything. My life just feels hollow and empty and dead. I tried meditation and I’ve even tried Transcendental Meditation and I can’t even do that right. Am I fucked? I have a chronic condition that causes my body a high level of pain + some sort of disfigurement that I went to physical therapy for. They gave me stretches but i still feel like the condition is getting worse. Obviously I’m not fucked - we’re all gonna die anyways which is kinda funny. But I’m pretty miserable and feel disconnected from everyone and everything. I’m very socially awkward which I guess is a skill I can work on. I just feel very half baked and underdeveloped and feel like there’s no point in even trying to remedy my mistakes when I can just play WoW. Maybe i should quit but then I don’t have the willpower or grit to muscle myself through learning new skills like playing the guitar. I had episodes in the past where i went insane and was diagnosed with autism so i guess it makes sense. Im currently taking meds for bipolar but it feels like now im just a cog in the wheel of the society we live in. And it sickens me. I hate myself and this world sometimes as well. Also i have a LOT of anxiety. And im just overall miserable. I don’t know how to feel my emotions or what that even means. I overanalyze and judge and even have thoughts when other people are speaking to me that say “nobody cares,” which i feel like i dont actually care about others. I dont want to commit suicide but i have suicidal urges. Also this condition that i have causes me extreme distress and misery. Its like im in pain and discomfort all the time and nobody can see it. Makes me want to “shtomp on their testhicles” like mike tyson haha. So im in this state of complacency with my life where im just sort of on this societal conveyor belt- going to work, playing WoW, eating, sleeping. Or maybe im blaming society too much. Idk man what should I do?? How can i live a good life?

If you join a community and there's love and connection you may find yourself in a suicide cult. ?

envy is ignorance, imitation is suicide

Yea but just because a person is likable does not mean that they shouldn't be criticized. I look at this from a meta perspective. This is not so much about Razard but about his opinions. You can always say everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Fair enough. But tomorrow an abused victim enters the forum who are already suicidal and talk about their traumatic experience of gaslighting. Someone like Razard lecture them on how it's their fault and there's no gaslighting and how it was their personal responsibility and everything they suffered was a result of their own consequence, that person might feel gaslighted again and what if they actually commit suicide? Will there be a moral obligation to point out that such advice or opinions are dangerous? So there's a greater good in opposing his opinions because they can lead to bad consequences under extreme situations. Not like there's high possibility of such a thing happening. But even if there's a very low chance of such an occurrence, it's a very tragic thing to happen. So I don't think that appeasing Razard's ego just because he is a good contributor should come at the price of someone's life tomorrow. It's important to consider things in perspective. In the context of the forum, it's all fine and merry. But people who come here are sometimes battling with real problems.

My life is so absurd its gone off the radar of even being a plausible reality. I think I died via suicide and woke back up into my own life to learn something. All the secrets of the universe come to me with no effort along with hellish punishment. I wonder we're this ultimately ends. Leo Gura is the name of an imaginary character my best friend came up with when we were children. You are not only not real, my friend named you. Why this life?

I've been guilty of this, I've even spat my dummy out and left this forum for a time when I perceived some on here for being transphobic. I've done some serious growing up since then and made attempts to be more understanding of others questions and sincere concerns. But to give you a perceptive of someone who is transgender, it can be anxiety inducing when political pundits, tabloids and governments play around with trans culture war like a soccer ball. We're at this stage where a lot of society is accepting but a good chunk isn't either and if one day society as a whole just decides they don't like this transgender stuff at all, they can honestly get rid of it quite easily, quickly and quietly, we're that small of a demographic. There wouldn't that much pushback either because understandably most people have bigger priorities than the lives of trans people, even if they are allies. It's anxiety inducing because if gender affirming services are made illegal or I'm forced to detransition by the state, it's something that will probably drive me to suicide in the worst case scenario. The best case my life would be unhappier and dysfunctional. It's hard to explain gender dysphoria to a cis person, but living and being socialized as a male is so repulsive to me that it feels harmful to the body and psyche. Imagine if a misandrist government decided the existence of men was illegal and they forced you (Leo) to transition into a woman both socially and medically, even though you know deep down in your soul you are a Man, it would give you severe dysphoria to the point it would cause damage. You would probably feel suicidal too. There is an argument to say this is an exaggerated fear of my many transgender people, but when you have popular figures like Jordan Peterson, JK Rowling and Matt Walsh nonstop fear mongering about us with a clear agenda to get rid of us of someway, you can see why many people like me can't stomach any debates about transgenderism that can be slightly touchy. We are still in vulnerable position so to speak.

I was born an African American male. I’ve been through modern racism (ain’t that bad honestly) I was molested as a child. My mom died when I was 4. I never met my father. My family was toxic and did not want me. My family forced me to fight smaller kids when I was growing up. I grew up depressed, lonely, fatigued, and felt like I had something to prove. I’ve attempted suicide twice. Once, with pills (I was young and dumb lmao) Where I’m going with this, I am a top 10% earner in the black community, I know 12 programming languages, I read 8 books or so a month, and I have a baller wife. You can turn it around. But do you want to? Read my past posts lol. I used to work at WALMART. I would Uber half way through town every day. I made no money. I had maybe $100 to myself each pay day. Life is hard man. This ain’t Jay Z and Beyoncé brunch. We struggle out here. Gotta be stronger. How? Don’t know man. It’s inside you. Gotta fish it out. what I personally recommend? Take Leo’s course. Can’t afford it? Figure out a way to buy it. Changed my life. Maybe it’ll help you. Good luck.

The word destiny is a very tricky word, but I guess you could say our story has already been written and we are just living through it. Everything you said is literally what is happening. Great job expressing it!!! It actually is sustainable, you are just too scared to implement it which I completely understand. Doing spirituality legitimately is the OPPOSITE of survival. The EXACT OPPOSITE of survival. You only want to do it if it helps with survival, initially it actually won't, in fact it will probably make it worse initially. But after integration....it super charges it. Spirituality is telling you to not care whether you live or die, to live completely without self-interest. To love another EQUAL to you not more or less in any direction. It is definitely sustainable....but its tough path with twists and turns but if you stick with it....it gives you the peace that passes all understanding, and if you integrate the feminine...the bliss part as well. The bliss comes and goes for me, but the peace is ever present and its surprising when you realize that the peace....is your natural state. Its why I say suffering is your creation, you create suffering and project it over your natural peace. You always pursue your desire, if he really wants to kill me, he will. If he doesn't pursue his desire he will get depressed and take it out on himself or others. Hell he might kill someone else because he let fear stop him from killing me, or he might kill himself, or do both. What do you think murder suicide is?

I think I know what you're talking about because I'm going through a shitty time of my life. Life is shit, no wonder why u asked this question. But why? Cuz shits everywhere. You wake up, shit. You get late for college, shit. You laugh, shit. You cry, shit. You fart… shit's coming up. More than half of the life is spent in washroom, half in eating, half in doing things you do not know the meaning of and can't explain why you doing it. Like why tf am I writing this? So yeah life is shit. Sometimes other people deal with your shit (mom while changing diapers) but others cannot deal with your shit for your whole life. You learn how to deal with your shit, cuz at the end of the day, its your life, your shit, either get it together, or lose control of your life. Either ways are shitty, but what can I say, life is more shittier than you think. Lol I searched on google 'Life is shit’, and it showed me results of 'Shitty Life Syndrome’ for a moment I was life “wait what? Wtf” lol it's just some shitty syndrome. Have you ever noticed a pig? Where does it live? What's shit to you, is heaven to him. Yes, that's what I'm trying to say. Don't be a human, be a pig. Enjoy the shit all around you and hope that there's more coming your way. Because the more shit you dive into, the more you enjoy. So, enjoy. If I had enough guts to commit suicide I would. The world is filled with darkness, cruelty and suffering. You can't trust anyone and human beings are selfish. What is the point of life? Some people are destined for misfortune whilst others are lucky. Why do people bring more human beings into this cruel world? Plus we all die anyway and become nothing. So what's the point.? We're all full of shit man ?

This obviously contradicts what Leo says. He claims that if you are murdered you stay in a dark limbo state after death for 1000+ years, same with suicide or any accidental death? Apparently the only safe why to die to assure a "rebirth" and not hell is to die in your sleep. Why does he say this? How would he know?