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To be "Awake" means, You go thru Life, in this Body/Mind with this Karmic makeup, and go Untouched! Your totally involved with what is happening Now, because NOW is the most important moment of Your Life, because it is the only Moment of Your Life.. Everything else is either Memory or Imagination, which do not Exist in reality.. So once You realize this basic concept Experientially, then Suffering is not possible, Peace or Bliss is natural for You now Experientially, and if that is in place, no matter what is happening, You go untouched by it. You still feel pain, physical or emotional, but it doesn't rule You.. Someone close to You dies, You don't Miss them, but feel Blessed to have had them in Your Life, once You go down the Missing road Your done for Spiritually, but Yes you may feel temporary pain mostly for them if they passed on too early in life..

İt is just inside and outside is silent. And in that silence, bliss and effortlessness arises. Being is Absolute. Even realization of being unlimited nature is Being itself. Because, it is absolute.

I have a scale, 0-10, 0 is Peace, 10 is Ecstasy, Bliss is 9, Bliss can be said to be the feeling of Infinite Love or God.. All of this is just a matter of Intensity of Experience.. Below 0 is Depression, Anger, Bitterness, Anxiety, Stress... One of not even capable of Spiritual Pursuits if they are below 0 on the scale, it very very hard to go from a Suffering state to an Enlightened State, its possible but very hard.. So the first step is to get to 0, which means Your Peaceful naturally, no need for outside stimuli to make You Peaceful or Happy/Joyful, get to that point and I think everything else will happen allot more naturally and smoothly!

I just watched a very interesting video on the forum posted by Integration Journey with Rupert Spira speaking on conscious relationships. Really nice video. When it comes to what I'm about to say here, I'd rather speak on it here rather than taint someone's thread with non-dual talk (hate the term non-dual but I use it for clarity and expression), especially if the thread isn't about that. When it comes to relationships with other, sexual/intimate relationships, we seek them out and yearn for them as a sign of unity and wanting to feel the oneness that we are. Afterall, love is the absence of separation so if we feel separate, it's only natural that that energy would want to engage in activities that would make it feel whole again. Doesn't work because it's not really separate but it's a nice try and well worth it if the relationship turns out to be a flourishing one and one of love, understanding and compassion. Nothing can truly take the place of what is already which is no separation. What he's really explaining in that video, is because there's no one really in these bodies, the sense of self (ego) is more likely to taint that relationship and turn it into a needy one, one of 'seeking for' and now nature cannot really do it's thing without the seeming interruption of the natural flow of the essence of oneness. It's not really but only seems to and only in appearance. When that sense is present, it can get very neurotic and seems to be imbalanced and ungrounded and will project that unto everything including the relationship. He's (Rupert) not going to say there's no one really there and that relationship is just happening, who says that (but me, hehe) but that's really the case. The sense of self is the one that seeks for this unity; and if it's into spirituality, then it's more likely to want to seek out a more conscious one, one that's more likely to be compatible with that energy flow so to has a better experience which is all that sense seeks for - a better experience. The reason why our natural essence is peace and tranquility and all that jazz is because there's no one in these bodies already. It's not that the person's natural essence is peace, etc, it's that the sense of a self is not peaceful, at a dis-ease, neurotic, never satisfied and all that jazz. When that's not present, which it's not already but felt as if it is, it's just what's happening but to no one. How can that not be peaceful and bliss. Saying to someone who seeks bliss and harmony that there's no one really there, they'll look at you crazy, but will continue to do practices and processes to attain that state. That's the dream. We hear all the time how our natural state is peace but never really understanding that it's because there's no one there. That's what that really means, the absence of the neurotic and dis-eased self. Even when there's anger and rage and sadness and all those what we call negative things are happening, because there's no one processing that and claiming ownership of nothing and doesn't see other but just what's appearing and doesn't see objects, it doesn't affect the energy as in someone where that sense is present, that's the natural peace that's being spoken about. It's not that those other things won't arise because they will, it's that no one senses them to be personal. This is why the sense of self feels the need to do processes and practice itself away in these contexts because it doesn't feel natural and is trying to feel a sense of naturality. It's a life-long practice because the effects doesn't last forever. Thousands of hours and decade long practices, when stopped will go right back to homeostasis and that's what 'never getting anywhere means'. It's already not happening so how can it change anything for real. This is the freedom I speak about but for no one and it's already done. Not suggesting one stops anything but it's just energy's attempts at unity for something that's already not broken. Nothing wrong either way, again, but only in appearance and to the one observing.

Have you read the fifth agreement. https://fourminutebooks.com/the-fifth-agreement-summary/ When I was studying Almine and studying Toltec shamanism, it was in that realm. It works because you are what you focus on, and if you focus on love, you become it and essentially bliss out. But the unresolved things hit you in face, it energetically feels like that.

@Eskilon I like to promote the Peace or Bliss path as I like to call it vs. this path of insanity or austerity or other paths that too me mean allot of suffering involved.. First, don't concern Yourself with this term or thing we call "Awakening" or Enlightenment or such higher up concepts, just be concerned with where You are at right now and take baby steps. The first baby step is establishing some stability in some ways, making Yourself Physically Healthy, Mentally/Emotionally in a pleasant state of Peacefulness, and Your Energies are free of blockages and are Intense in Your Experience... If You do this, and Suffering becomes practically impossible for You (Pain is always possible, but Pain is not the same as Suffering), then naturally Your Potentials will open up, Kundalini will rise up, what You found interesting before will no longer be interesting to You since Your becoming more Aware and Conscious of what it means to be Human. There are many techniques out there to make this process happen very smoothly, why reinvent the wheel when we have proven ways to make Yourself Peaceful, Healthy and full of Well Being...

The person is constantly working on themselves. Constantly trying to find peace and happiness. The tool kit is always out except when in sleep. Knock, knock knocking away at themselves. If I do this, then this WILL happen. Always in the next. Always hoping for something else other than what is. There is no next; there is no what if's there is no I will be; and there are no future endeavors. Please show me any of those things. Show me. Do you see any 'next' occurring but only as a projection and as a concept and idea. 'I will be' where is it. It's an idea projected unto reality. The person is a projection machine. No reality on it's own. It needs relationship to survive. It needs to be held up by something or the other. Typical construction site. Tapping away with the tool kit. Always more and never satisfied. It prides itself on it's achievements and it's yearning for excellence and high ambitions. It needs that to feel a certain way because how it feels now isn't good enough. It takes it's perceived feelings to be it's own but just as $5 isn't enough to buy a car, it needs more achievements and goals and whatever else to be able to purchase more expensive feelings. Sadness, unhappiness, guilt, shame, unworthiness, are all cheap feelings not worth much, it strives for happiness, fulfillment, joy, excitement, bliss, those are Armani suits and the Lamborghini's of feelings. Those are worth something. Only peasants and slaves and broke people should be feeling cheap feelings, I want to feel expensive feelings. This is pretty much the same thing as what's going on in materialism. It's just projected unto spirituality and self-improvement instead. Then we look down on the poor people who are the religious ones, the ones that aren't highly conscious and go to bars and drink beer all day or watch twerking videos. These people are cheap and are investing in cheap feelings, the spiritualist says. I'm investing in top-notch feelings and feelings of an elite nature. Most are sad and miserable, that's Walmart stuff, I want to feel like Nordstrom and Calvin Klein so I will be still and meditate and go to a silent retreat. Yeah, that'll do it. NEVER LASTS. Always will be more and more and when those things don't work it turns to psychedelics and then more and more dosages gradually increasing then that gets burnt out for something else and it never stops..,..,WHEW!!! All along THIS is what it searches for but it's not extravagant enough. Not enough lighting and effects. Not enough adrenaline. The wrong type of adrenaline. It wants to feel divine and holy and fulfilled. It wants the EMPIRE. HEAVEN. PARADISE. This is it and there's nothing else. All is happening are empty experiences with empty results that leads nowhere. Show me someone that has gotten anywhere - spiritually speaking. The construction site always gets knocked back down to WHAT IS HAPPENING and what is happening is all there is....NEVER WHAT WILL HAPPEN. The tool kit can never produce the future, it can only produce what is and what is is never enough. So it will never be satisfied, fulfilled or at peace permanently. Practice all you want. A practice can never supply fulfillment. A practice is just that a practice. It can only result in effects just as practicing lifting weights can result in bigger muscles. Stop practicing and the muscles go away. They never had a reality on their own. It's all a pipe dream and no one wakes up. The illusion is that there was never an illusion to begin with. Never a person doing these things to begin with. All energy. energy seeks to energize itself. To become something other than what it is. It can't. It deluded itself thinking it can. It is also the thinking and the delusion. That's why it never gets anywhere than where it is already. It's everything and what's everything is all there is. IT'S DONE.

Actually, no. Not two. Not body or awareness. Not clinging to form, not escaping into formlessness. Not calling hunger “illusion,” not calling awareness “real.” All that is more mind games. When orgasm floods the senses, Being is there. When hunger burns through the gut, Being is there. When silence falls Being is there. Not above it. Not behind it. In it. As it. Being doesn’t reject sensation. It doesn’t cling, and it doesn’t turn away. It is not touched, yet it includes all. Not numb. Not distant. Impossibly intimate. Spirituality isn’t escaping life. It’s no longer grasping for self in any of it, not the body, not the bliss, not even the "awareness." Just this. Simple. No split. No other. Or: "all is one, one is all” is not a concept. It’s not a belief. It’s what is, before thought tries to hold it. There is no boundary here. No “this” and “that.” No seer and seen. No inner and outer. No self and other. The body, the tree, the scream, the silence not connected things, but the same thing, moving in different shapes. All is one: Because nothing stands apart to be “other.” Even the sense of separation is part of the One. One is all: Because the center is everywhere, and the whole is in every part. The wave is the ocean. The spark is the fire. The breath is the cosmos inhaling itself. No division has ever truly happened. Only Being, endlessly appearing as many, while never becoming two.

You transcend it by not being so intouch with it, the Body and Mind complex, right now the majority of Us are super Attached or Identified with our Body/Mind complex whether we are Conscious or Unconscious of it! The more Identified with Body/Mind You are the more anything that touches it will hurt, its that simple, the opposite is true too, the more removed and detached/unidentified with it You are, the less it hurts.. The Path of going thru intense Suffering as a way to Realization is a very dangerous path, especially today with super identification situations with many aspects of one's self the people are involved with, most will not make it to the other side like the like of Frankl and others, much better to go the Peace or Bliss path, as slower and steadier/safer path for sure imo...

@TheGod We call ourselves Human Being, there are two aspects to this.. Human is social, procreation, desire being fulfilled mostly on the Survival or Accumulation level, more People, Places, Things, Experiences, Accomplishments Gathered over time to make one feel a sense of Doing/Having and Fulfilment! Then there is Being, Being is Absolute, God, Brahman, and such Spiritualistic terms, its Oneness, Completeness, Connectedness, Peace/Bliss and Knowing, this is what the Spiritual Path is about, having these Experiences and becoming One/Absolute/God within Yourself. We can choose which level to live on as this is our basic Human Quality and Capability, which most do not explore but we can if we choose too.. Your afraid of Solitude because Your identity is most Human Based, Humans need Humans to survive better and fulfill social needs and such, if You really want to explore the Being aspect of it then Solitude and proper environments (like Ashrams) are needed to get away from the need to Survive another day and continue the Accumulation process..

in my experience, god in its purest form is Nothingness, which has no needs, desires, no qualities. but everything arises inside of it, including the desire for another, loneliness, love, bliss. all of these are temporary and you decide which ones you abide in. if you cling to loneliness loneliness becomes your reality. but you decide for yourself. you truly are god. heaven and hell are within you. if you accept loneliness, embrace it and let it go, there is no loneliness. acceptance equals love. in this way, love is the truest aspect of god next to nothingness personally i have never experienced the loneliness aspect of God. But I have experienced Gods' desire for non existence which i think is more scary. But that too is also just a temporary arising withing Nothingness/consciosuness, which doesnt affect it in the slightest. theres a freedom knowing your true nature is eternally untouched

Diexonol-4 When ingested it lasts 4 hours. It has strong visual elements but has the safe, comforting elements that ketamine has. It pulls a soft silk blanket of calmness over you while you enter a tranquil dimension of peace and gratitude while transcending human existence. It has the unimaginable bliss of 5meodmt but it comes on so slowly that you don't even notice it happening and before your even aware, your in heaven. In a tranquil garden made of light and orgasm's. Then the compound actually makes you have orgasms lol. then it gives you the ability to spawn shit in.

My life has no meaning. I have huge problems with boredom that make me unable to do any activity that I want, this is not laziness it's a real problem. Also I live in very bad social enviroments and I need something else to focus on my life. Will spirituality and spiritual practices make me happy? What spiritual practices can achieve? Will they just make me numb or I will have bliss? I prefer easy spiritual practices if such thing exist cause my boredom will not let me do anything difficult. What does every spiritual practice achieve? do all spiritual practices achieve the same?

I see. I understand that nothing ever existed outside my experience, I am always where it happens. This has always been the case, to deny this is to assume many things, it is perfectly logical. However, I dont truly know who Am I yet, not at the level of being, of undeniability of rolling of the ground in esctasy after knowing it, I didnt experience that yet. And I agree that in sleep you are basically just chaning scenery, even deep sleep might be that. It makes perfect sense, but I don't feel transformed after understanding this, so probably not a truly real understanding yet. I know I am not a thought, because I am the one who is aware of the thoughts, I am observing them. I know I am not any sensation, because I can observe every sensation. The closest thing I have reached so far is, I am attention. What does that mean? When you focus on some part of your body and start feeling, that is the "thing" I think I am. Not the sensation of my arms, legs, or any thing, but the awareness that allows for me to feel and experience things. This awareness doesnt seem to have form or anything and also doesnt seem to be located anywhere, it is empty. But I can know and experience things through it. But again, I haven't been in deep bliss and a feeling of awakening or exhilaration (like that of suddenly being aware in a lucid dream) so there's definetly still more to untangle and comprehend. Thanks for your insight, God bless

3rd session of kayaking this season So I haven't been active in journaling here lately, but today I felt like keeping up with one of the sub-aspects of this journal which have been my kayaking explorations, and how that relate to a meditative lifestyle. So kayaking has been starting slow this year as it was last year. During the first 2 years I was kayaking it was really, really explosive, so it has been sort of disappointing that I haven't been able or interesting in keeping up that explosive quality I went into it with during those first two years. Now I'm on my fifth year, and we are already far in to the season, and it has been very slow. But basically I've been a lazy slob for the last couple of months when it comes to physical exercise, but I did my 2nd session of kayaking for this season one week ago, and yesterday I did some kettlebell-exercises, and today with this amazing kayaking session I just had I feel amazingly strong and fit again. So maybe I should just stick with kayaking simply for the primary benefit of being a really awesome form of physical exercise. So I was kayaking out to an island where our local bhajan/mantra group was hanging out for the day and evening, and oh my gosh, it was so amazing to arrive there. They were swimming, jumping from cliffs, sun-bathing, having nice conversations, and we starting drumming and singing mantras and even went for a forest-walk. This was just really, really perfect. Coming there, good and warm from having paddled for 45 min in this perfect sunny weather, I just melted totally into the experience. When the leader in this group started playing flute I felt like I was at an ayahuasca ceremony. There where lots of other boat-people around us who where also out enjoying the nice weather and hanging out on this island, and they were clapping and cheering for the music we made, so it was like we had this really nice and appreciative audience for this pop-up event. I've been talking a more active role in both drumming and singing lately, so it was really nice to feel that I could influence this group positively with my energy today. And then when the time came to kayak back home it felt like bliss to glide through the water. Back in the house of the kayak-club, I took a nice warm shower, and ended it with a cold one. This is one of the absolutely most awesome experiences I've had of kayaking so far. So from feeling like a lazy slob only a few days ago, and even today before I decided to go to this event, to feeling super-empowered. Wow. This is the reason I've been taking it so seriously to also document my kayaking-project in the light of my meditation-journal.

I'm doing this to make me happy. I want to achieve such and such so I can be happy. I want to have sex to feel good. I don't want to feel lonely. I want to feel loved. I need a partner to satisfy me. I'm suffering. I want to make more money. I feel like i'm not good enough. How can I be more happy. What would make me happier. How can I achieve happiness. I need less to make me happy. I want more to feel happy. Why aren't I happy. Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss, bliss. What about sadness. What about sorrow. What about despair and hopelessness. What about these other emotions. Don't we talk about integration. We say we're all about truth. These are also truths. Why abandon them. Why the bias. Why only seek happiness and leave sadness behind. I want to feel sad. I want to feel hopeless. I want to feel despair and horror. Why not say these things too. Why leave them out. Can't have one without the other. We seek truth but only what serves us. Sadness is also an emotion, yet we seek happiness and don't want to feel sadness. I want truth, we say, yet when we feel sad, we don't like it. We feel happy and we're ecstatic. Do you want truth or do you want what makes you feel good. Suffering is truth. Sadness is truth. Why run from it. Why try to escape it. You don't want truth, you can't handle truth.

after 5 years of non stop dedicated spiritual work i finally had a god realization on ayahuasca. I was in the ayahuasca ceremony. Layer after layer got peeled back, till I finally awoke as pure consciousness. Pure I AM ness. Nothingness. This idea of "waking up" is literally the most precise term ever, because it feels infinitely more radical than waking up from a dream. I was still aware that in the background I had the dream of a human Self called Emil going on. So I didn't entirely lose connection to my body, althrough i was completely aware that my true identity was consciousness, nothingness. And by the way; the people speaking of something outside of consciosuness is bullshit. Cessation, deep sleep, NOTHINGNESS is imagined by consciousness. You cannot get beyond consciousness. I used to believe in Nothingness, Deep sleep as the "absolute". No longer. Consciousness is absolute. the realization of my true identity, eternal nothingness, consciousness. immortal, nothing could hurt me. the initial realization of consciousness, is that its fundamental quality was not love, but a steady blissfulness and peace. This was its core quality. Everything that was happening around me had zero influence on my true identity. With this realization, I started letting myself "dream", and partially to a certain extend, forget my true identity, just to have some fun. Nothing could hurt me anyways, so why not? I let myself indulge in horrors, scary dark dreams, just for the fun of it, because why not? After "dreaming" for some time, I realized; Well, if I'm completely eternal, and I can experience all this stuff; Why don't I start loving it? Why dont i start loving ALL of it? Why not? Why the fuck not haha? I am completely eternal, immortal, here forever, nothing can hurt me. So why should I not make love to everything? As an eternal, immortal being, that became the only worthwile thing. So I started loving. Everything. The more i loved, the more I realized that everything that was not love, was a complete fucking joke. a total distraction. In eternity, the only currency that holds ANY value at all, is love. everything else, approval, money, EVERYTHING else is the biggest joke in existence. Love is literally the only thing that has value. I kept on loving everything. What was very curious and characteristic about this whole experience, is that it was ME, myself, making logical conclusions and realizations about myself as pure consciousness, the eternal being. So i kept loving so much, that I became an infinite singularity. There was only love left. This was the biggest chok ever, because I realized that as the infinte singularity, I could decide to keep increasing the love infinitely. This word infinitely is not meant likely; to experience something that can go on literally for ever, without any limit, without doubt the most radical thing i have ever experienced. My love for myself could keep increasing infinitely for all of eternity, completely without limit or end. This is where I have confusions about what happened next; I left the singularity for some reason. I don't know if it got boring; i dont persoanlly think so? Nevertheless, I went from the infinite singularity, to the process of constructing my own life, from -and with infinite love. I had infinite resources, infinite time, power, infinite EVERYHING to draw from. I remember the attention to detail I put into constructing every little excact detail and atom in my life, pouring literal infinite unlimited love into ALLLLLL aspects of the dream. This was the best expereince of my life. The unlimited love constructing my own life. I still can't believe that this can even be experienced, something literally unlimited. So while I mentioned earlier that the fundamental quality of consciousness is bliss and peace, it seems that consciousness inevitably becomes infinite love. But had it only stopped there; during this process, for some reason, I started looking for something outside of myself. And I could not find it. I had a dark realization; Fuck, I'm alone for all of eternity, and I can never escape myself. I can never escape existence. All the love dissappeared, and a sense of absolute desperation kicked in. I have to exist for eternity, and I can never not exist. This desperation got so intense that I decided to forget EVERYTHING, and do it all over again. and then the loop started all over again. The feeling that I'm left with is to be honest ambivalent. At one side, experiencing the infinite is the highest experience imaginable. On the other side, im sitting with the feeling that God can never be satisfied with itself; even Infinite love is not satisfying. God seeks to escape its own existence, but it cannot. Its forced to exist; and i got the sense that God hated itself for having to exist? I'm not sure about this conclusion. But I definitely got the impression that the reason God decides to forget itself, is not a good one. Its like even the highest imaginable, infinite love, is not even enough. and because of this, we will never achieve satisfaction in life neither, because life is infnitely inferior to infinite love. I got the sense that the desire of all existence is non existence. Consciousness, god, desires non existence, but it can never achieve it. Its forced to exist against its will for all of eternity, and so it decides to forget the dread of its own eternal existence. I created an illusion for myself, that there was something worthwhile, something satisfying coming to me, infinite love, through dreaming characters like leo. but my true desire, non existence, I can never have. This take i have not heard before, leo and the people on the forum definetely has not spoken of this. So I dont believe this to be the absolute truth, but i could definetely use some feedback on the last dark part Thanks for reading

I'd say that's accurate. Any energetic experiences do not appear to have any sort of directionality. And relaxation feels more mental / emotional than physical. I once had a bliss experience during a Strong Determination Sitting, where I was in pretty significant physical pain. No. The only thing releasing sexual energy does is affect my sex drive. If I'm releasing a lot, then my sex drive goes down. If I retain, then usually my sex drive feels a lot more "primed". Nothing else really changes. It's analogous to eating a meal. If I just ate a meal, I'm probably not going to be hungry for a little while. But that's about the extent it affects me. There's not much of a noticable spillover effect to other areas of my life.

Relaxation, yes. That was one of things that hooked me in my early 20s on meditation. After my first month of consistent meditation, I had such an intense experience of relaxation that it rolled into essentially total bliss. I felt like I had taken MDMA. The afterglow lasted for about a week. Years later, I did a 10-day Vispassana retreat where I also had some interesting bliss experiences. I also unlocked some sort of energetic buzzing at the base of the right side of my neck. Afterwards, the buzzing in this spot would often reactivate when I did energy work, or sometimes just spontaneously. At one point when I was being very consistent with my practice, it would reactivate daily. I could essentially turn it on and off at will. Also around this time, I would occassionally wake up in the middle of the night to my spine spasming, almost like I was having a non-sexual orgasm. It was not as pleasant though. So yes, I've experienced relaxation, buzzing, tingling, etc. But I would not use terms like "unwinding", "shooting out the top of my head" or anything like this. I would just caution against judging awakening from any physical feats or interesting energetic experiences. Physical feats are more dream-content and may be misleading. What's essential is understanding of reality. You could cut my leg off and my understanding of reality would not change at all, even though my physical health and vitality would be diminished.

Things happen more so I think out of consequence than reason, the holocaust happened due to a set of consequences, it was horrible as are the wars of today, but there is no reason... God means Absolute which filters down to Us as a Grand sort of Intelligence that allows most all Possibility to exist, this intelligence is a Potential making machine and allows it too be expressed, so if a concept of Love exist its opposite Hate exists too, for US humans it means we must get to a point of Consciousness that we can exert Free Will in our lives and choose how to Be within Ourselves, most I am sure would choose Love or Bliss to be their inner state always and via that if enough ppl do this no wars will be possible...

So, absolute becomes alive with birth with the mind? Logic is suffering, let the moment effortlessly flows. Merge and flow with it. Thinking is unnecessary, just the tons of weight, which is the weight of the universe. Attachment with a word brings entire duality on shoulder. Because, suicide is quickiest way, running away, therefore still surves to survival. Being effortless is burning while alive. But, when the one turns into ashes, realize the moment, after that love, compassion, bliss never leaves, which are gift of the present moment, thats what heaven is, state of consciousness, after effortlessly accepting anything and everything.

Thoughts are not bad, but an illusion. When there is no thinking, therefore no thinker, no more reality. Just You. Therefore, compassion, help and bliss are inevitable.

The shape was not revealed, but it felt like every part of experience was Divine and shinning intensely with unconditional Love and just a pure bliss. It's formeless in a sense.

World/birth/death/universe/body/thoughts are attachments. Thoughtlessness/Source/Being is what You really are. Enlightenment has immersive effect on the so called brain. İllusion continues, however, You are not attached to it, not attach to body. When one realizes body just needs to eat and drink water, it is all about it. İn 24 hours, You just need to think maybe 1-2 minutes. Moreover, when one doesn't think and flow with the moment even 10 seconds, it has immerse affect in so called brain. After that, instead of living in human body within the world, You live as the moment within the Source. Instead of knowledge, there is just moment, which can not be comprehend, understand or analyze. Because, the knowledge is created by brain. Moment is bliss and compassion. İt is already there, no effort needed. Even thinking (which creates the so called self) needs an effort, which is much weight. Attachment with a word brings back entire duality. Effortlessness is the key that opens the gateless gate. Much love and respect to everyone.

@Breakingthewall The Void is just an expression, but it is not meant to be the end all be all of living, nor is it enlightenment. I tend to not think Huang baby thinks so either. Ch'an was radical in its approach, but more practical in its endgame. The Void is a realizable and radical shift, but not much can be said about its depths. And yes, at least in my recollection, it is a monster collapse of everything once thought to be 'real'. 'NOTHING' was the first word that arose in the mind, after the dust had settled, and the discussion with/as the Infinite played out. It didn't even make sense to the mind at first, as it was not very aware of all the Zen theoretical literature stuff other than a few books and Alan Watts type of stuff. It didn't have to make sense, the radical shift was all that was present. The sense of existence from/as which the individuated perception is/was devoid of substance, but all was/is appearing... every thought arose within/as the NOTHING - pure awareness -, but distinct as appearances. The things were sensed as basically automagically, ornamentally existent, like a dream world, but... basically... just "perfectly so". It was like an acid trip or even like what people describe here as 5meo, but I was as sober and clear as the sky. Concepts arose, perfectly so, but I didn't give them much credence or pursue them, as the Presence in/as what IS was so very strong. So hard to explain, but that's just it. I was up in a bean field, living in a mud brick and rock hut with no water or electricity for a few months. The Presence sometimes as crystal clarity, sometimes as The Beloved was just the whole atmosphere... the I was just an arising, dancing in and out (much like the photons stuff, I suppose). I had a handful of a few books that I had bought at different book stores (computers were just becoming available at the time, but I lived up in the Himalayan foothills far from any internet cafe). I struggled to read between the lines of them or understand them before 12 Sept 1998, but afterwards, I could rip through them and easily identify the 5-10-15% of them that were useful (most of it shit). That's how I am attempting to interpret your focus on this 'closed' idea you're locked in on. For me, I could just tell where it was meant to make sense to the mind versus where it was pointing to existential Truth, in much the same way you are just cleaning house of anything that doesn't ring as "open" to you. I get it, and I think you should just stick with it and/or let it go altogether. That cleaning house phase went on for years, even after the bliss bunny stuff wore off weeks later. Stay true to your intuitive awareness of what needs to be done. I'm just providing feedback on how it can be integrated, not stating that you are right/wrong. In the deepest nirvikalpa samadhi, there is a consciousness without content (thingness). Evidently, it is the highest state of emptiness meditation that can be achieved in sitting meditation. But even then, it is considered a state, not realization. Sometimes, I suspect the Void is potentially considered as distinct from this state (alluding to kensho/satori). I dunno all the specifics. Don't really care too too much, but hard core meditators have said as much. What is considered the highest state, sahaja samadhi, is the one that rings more 'real' for this mind, though it's more or less an effortlessness than most tend to explain to me. I meditate on occasion now just to clear the cobwebs, but Truth is just happening. Point being, I don't worry too much about all the definitions and the making sense of other people's post-mortem constructs, as so many people have so many words and different interpretations based on those words, and so, very often it becomes a semantic affair. I try to hear where the person is coming from, what they're banging on about, and the intensity of their expression. Sometimes someone's expression grabs my interest, so I might chime in. I find the intensity of your search story appealing and the intensity of expression quite refreshing, but I do sense our minds have different levels of acidity and alkalinity, hehe. I do love a good show, and I thank you.