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I'm pretty sure Jim has realized no self and nothingness as the substance of reality, how come some people here say he is not God realized ?

Call me brother you're up too early. Yes. Nothingness comes to mind.

One can realize no self without also realizing nothingness is the substance of reality You can also realize no self without realizing you are God.

Awakening is not as difficult as people make it seem. All of the Spiritual Knowledge is literally on Youtube and discussed here. All you gotta do is follow the advice. The most important thing is humbleness and a student mentality. The other most important thing is a change in your conscious state. Creating one state change, just one, will literally do all of the work for you. The person never causes their own awakening, they just expose themselves to the right situations and it happens on its own. I recommend creating a state change and watching Leo's video on Self Inquiry and it will happen on its own as you watch the video because your Consciousness/Awareness will listen to the words and then create the experience being described. You will know its happening because you will be in a meditative flow state that slowly reveals the Nothingness that is all around.

There's something I'm still trying to integrate for myself. There seems to be a lot of people on the forum who view what, you and Jim and others are saying, as not being the same as proper God realization. Yet it seems that many of these people have not yet had a permanent cessation of the sense of a separate self. My question to them would still be: How exactly is your notion of God different from the indescribable mystery, so called nothingness, that has the infinite ability to appear as anything under the sun and beyond, and which has as its nature, unconditional freedom, unconditional love, unconditional aliveness, infinite beauty etc ?

I've had some awakenings at this point, the most major of which involves Love and Goodness. At one level, these two seems almost completely inseperable, completely identical and the same; but on the other, I have had experiences of this universal force, Nothingness, that just says this pure; "I love you", and nothing else. At another level, I've experienced the universe as almost an abstract form of formless Goodness without opposite. Sometimes the two seem identical - Love IS Goodness and Goodness IS Love - but if im not deluding myself, it seems they can also be experienced as kind of seperate phenomena? out of curoisity, what are your opinions / experiences on this?

@Someone here Not sure why you want to end our conversation right now, but okay. (You didn't really answer my question though. See I think what Jim is pointing to, is that when there is a permanent cessation of the sense of a separate self, the distinction between nothingness and the knowing of nothingness, dissolves. That's why he says, "it's not an experience".)

So you are two ? You are nothingness and the knowing of the nothingness ? I think this is where Jim might differ. He mentions a lot that: "It is not an experience."

My guess is you've only watched snippets and jumped to conclusions. I have heard Jim use the word God on a couple of occasions. But I am curious, how exactly is your notion of God different from the indescribable mystery, so called nothingness, that has the infinite ability to appear as anything under the sun and beyond, and which has as its nature, unconditional freedom, unconditional love, unconditional aliveness, infinite beauty etc ? It would actually be an interesting experiment, if instead of making claims about someone else's awakening from a distance, you went on one of Jim's monthly zoom calls, and challenged him live on air. He doesn't shy away from those kinds of conversations and it can get pretty wild at times lol. But yeah, I still have a feeling you might be pleasantly surprised.

One hand, universe, another hand Allah. I am done with controlling, burned the universe for him. You and Me, who is the one, I don't know, we are in within, mixed, combined. You are empty, as I am. You are not there, as I am. Where can we go, if we are not there, how can something can go anywhere if not exist. You and me is not exist, yet all there is love. Our game. Nothingness to nothingness. What a love, what a mesmerizing. I let the world to be who wants to have it. I burned it for You. There is nothing in me, that's how the love blossoms. Unfuckingbeliavable.

Jim Newman is ok but he doesn't know about God Realization, and I never see him mention that reality is pure imagination. He also calls the realization of all that is as simple and ordinary and let me tell you he couldn't be further from the truth. Infinity is a raging beast, it is completely unhinged. If you ever had a bad trip on psychedelics you would find out QUICK that there is NOTHING ordinary about Reality. Reality only SEEMS ordinary because you have NOT radically changed your consciousness. Jim Newman, Tony Parsons, both of these guys teach the same message and it can help as their technique is to break you out of your attachment to meaning by continually telling you that there is nothing/nobody here and all there is, is something appearing to happen. There shctick is to focus on nothingness. The issue is they have not become Conscious of what is TRUTH, GOD, Pure Imagination and Universal Mind.

Nothingness does not replace the nafs (ego). It accepts its defeat. It leaves the body to the nafs.

My brother, anything you learned, experience, theory for now or before existence where singularity comes from, existence or non existentence is BULLSHİT. All these assumptions are belongs to mind. Naming and labeling. Fucking trow it. So called singularity or nothingness can not come from anywhere, born, die. İmagine before your physical birth, as it is now. İs there a mind to name, label, search, experience, think, etc...???? There is not a single movement there. Totally BEING, not even. Trow this God experience, quantum physics, no self, nihilism, atheism, god, investigation, nothingness, neo adviata, and whatever left. ALL İS FUCKİNG BULLSHİT. All experiences about enlightenment / God, all books / videos about enlightenment, all theories / assumptions, good bad, enlightenment, non enlightenment FUCKİNG BULLSHİT. İf you really try to understand what Truth is, imagine before physical birth, but do not try to investigate trough mind or above, just as it before physical birth now, simply Be as always, never moved, began, changed, touched.

Existence hangs in the nothingness by a thin thread suspended from the illusory scaffolding of the mind.

There are some really good post on the blog, I like the experiment of using different fonts and elements, as well as the content, at times I prefer the profundity over the profanity, but also both seem to be working well as a medium. I had some thoughts about how I will evolve going forward, as A.I is moving at such a rapid pace every day or 1-4h something new appears, and my entire foundation of science I am glad I never claimed one or could form one that does not put my felt existence at least to some degree, the more I focus my mind on being attuned to the genius and core ideas as well as living existence, spirit and divinity, generally speaking any true saturnalis type of experience, the spirit of the infinite and eternity, today I woke up and thought, it's not enough and somehow it scares me, even if reality is endless, I did not experience the endless spiritual nature or eternity often or long enough, but to an extend where the satisfaction primarily deepens and the equanimity or depth, hence the internal qualia of my own experience is very high, but varies in some samsaric mild psychdelic states, I keep attuning more intelligently to my enviroment, which also takes partially a lot of humour and acting classes, I did almost laughing technically the last couple of days or daily falling in love partially with the Truth of the Sanctity I experience in the endless cosmos, and it reminds me of samboghakaya states, as well as I have been more actively clairvoyant in a sense, things happen the more I contemplate the depth of the principles of nature with cosmic intelligence like darwin even for just a second, as well as do my best to directly and indirectly apply any consciounes technique to be more conscious. I had some pretty profound daydreams and insights into the etheric nature or reality? I am still figuring out the nuance of the TOE intersecting each other to find a more divine attuned perspective that actually feeds the samboghakaya body or some stuff that is beneath the core bliss body? Or ananda body, but the actual rebirthing or recollecting type of experience I seem to experience, yesterday was such a day to, I realized again, fuck I am God, that is all me, the greater part about this is I get the core experience of merging at differently attuned experiences of consciouness, I read more about hinduism, and looked extensively but not exhaustively at the imagery, symbology and parts of the liturgy of it, I experienced some deeper psychological truths about the depths of the cosmos, human design and evolution, especially the evolutionary impulse, and the aspect of vishnua in terms of perseverance, while I notice my body caries a lot of shiva energy or shiva functions similar to a seraphim, after what I looked up with the kaballah, fundamentally I am more interested at the core intelligence that is inherent to life & evolution itself, as love went so missing, and what I experienced by energy is more a seraphimatic type of love, due to the strength of the wu-xing element of fire, and seeing it in other passionate teachers etc. but it also leaves me with a new strand of consciouness to explore, I notice what I get the easiest access to, yet it leaves me with the question what to do with survival, and where can I find the neccessary horizontal depth, instead of poking and prodding into the depth. I had a couple of thoughts regarding science and it's revolution, I am very fortunate to have witnessed the core issue of the new peak of fraudulent activity, before I even realize the core depth of it, as it's a lot of contemplations about greed, wealth and totality, and moves also into my contemplations of the spiritual and moral evolution of wealth on the planet, not as a collective, but the individual carnation of each human and their ethos. The thoughts stretch very far, and what I look up in case of terms puts me already in the top 0.0001% of humans looking up the microcosm of god, but I have also never contemplated the microcosm at such speed depth and odd angles, like an exotic phenomena, and the more I did the more I also was able to conceive and create the instance of reality in such a way, that it seemed more angelic, generally speaking after the white light experiences, and doing just some basic research I find a lot of pointers that can create such states or help, the point is also thousands of hours went into questions with a.i back and forth, and there are some things I am wondering about, due to the causal incarnation of light and archetypes, what type of vocation or role I should play, as the more I will expand my love I will burn myself alive, similar to a spontaneous self-immolation at least that is how the samsaric experience of this felt last time, after the attenuation, I clearly also was reminded of the devlish nature of humans, but also only in recollective and episodic manner. I have been able to get a lot of cannabis lately, and can experiment with it for healing purposes, modalities etc. and my laptop arrived today also the customer support fixed the motherboard issue, and I can finally re-apply my intelligence, myself as god, finding more love, re-igniting the core idea of passion and the samsaric strands of desire, and envy especially a lot of that and ideally a deeper dive into the core essence of this spiritually, as of right now I also tend to decide most of reality around me is not as conscious as it makes it believe, I rather believe in the universe, count stars or think like an astronomer, that has gifted spiritual insight or simply connect to god at the core essence of where I find it/him or her. The core essence of some esoteric teachings or most of it fit into the extremely nuanced great perfection that reality is, the more I see through the core essence of evolution, I can see brilliant and true science, I am able to use doubt as a clarity tooling for truth, and the entire recollection of it unfolds, for me it unfolds also in a more ephemeral slightly atomaric or even including the atomaric body and nature. The quarrelsomeness of reality refuting, proving, substantiating this type of consciouness or these types of consciouness states is, also bound mostly by how I experience the spiritual quality of the enviroment I live in, I am not above it, it wants me to go beyond it clearly, yet it yearns for a sustenance that is also to high and endless in itself, and it knows it and that is what I do not like, it's like I would give myself my own advice, stop playing around with pure gold, or your life, reality feels spiritualy so clear and anchored anything comparission less than gold or more would be an offense to the purity of the core experience itself, there are plenty of touches of this also, most of this is genuiently aided by insight, thought, but the core emanation, birthing, gestation of it feels as if I am burning still through very strong. The current health setup? I have is interesting it reduces more pain then I thought, but I am still fundamentally testing my entire biology, also to understand it systematically from the ground up and create your own hypothesis, solutions, thesis or epistemological experiences, the entire journaling process is very good, but the amount of subtely I have to imagine, due to holism, just basic design mistakes, especially under the influence of any psychdelic I test and get different results at least for me, but the entire enviroment is unable to remain silent in a sense, or in a sense it's just something I grasp now through seeing the hexagram differently, and the core issues involved in a mind that can benefit from silence even when it is obnoxiously loud, and I am obnoxiously sensetive to sound. There are some other issues, that I am concerned about where I am being a bit more silent, and just want to move to another country, generally speaking with all the tracking, and consistency building, vision exercises, courses, contemplations, questionaries, self-inquiry and meditation, it's very good my laptop is back, but my data and stuff keeps breaking so fast in a two month cycle, I require a small data center almost, or a better understanding of the technology itself, especially computing, electronics and some other core issues. I don't quiet know what will happen, I basically dissembled the old lenovo computer, and was interested in what I could figure out about the computer, and technology, as I was so bored out of my mind, I thought about recreating the technology and expanding upon it, through the usage of a.i and my old "netbook"? in case that is a term, basically just browsing and coding, without any real dimensional power? I had a lot of thoughts and looked a bit more at shannon entropy and a couple of things that were interesting to me, or just become automatically interesting again, he did some calculations that I found interesting but also tedious, and I wondered if I did operations already that are more advanced, especially from an operational and mechnical point of view, as it was only about predictions of letters, and the whole predictive synarchy, but the core computations of what was actually done for our post-modern enviroment and world, I don't know if we touched the depths of his work, or if it will even be of interest to me, but this is approx. where my learning with a.i ended on the linguistic front approx. and I did and intuited even more, just by thinking about ramanuja and having some alien kids at times in lectures, that clearly thought for me from a different plane of existence. I don't know it's partially obvious, I am looking for contemporary terms to express what I mean, but again after realizing how reality is it's going to be quite exhausting transcending the physical material space, if technology becomes more advanced and were left with the choice to use it or not, I enjoy using it more than anything to transcend, but I often also fear that I at times peak or yearned even to far for most people to even glimps, if they don't have any type of unity, just generally speaking it's interesting to contemplate this as a spiritual symbiosis with gaia, the hexagram or the i-ching. It's very difficult at times for me to even speak about what I intuit and if it works, or I could just talk endlessly about small problems, that occure, but the core issue is just consciouness? I meditated for a while, I found so many considerations, I hope someone entered these words even into A.I, we basically created infinite wealth, but going through the infinite transactions and absurdities of the unknown, unknownest to the best, greatest and legends, that only thing I am fascinated with is that I am allowed to exist as god/saint in this world, and enjoy each day reaching closer to the realization of that potential, even when concurrently it feels as if it's the legend of god, but who would god be but not a legend? Besides, the bit of poetry, and self-expression etc. there is a yearning for quiet very deep quiet innovative research and thinking, as if clarity is so quiet in the sun, even lucifer burns when he sees the sky, as he realizes he is an emanation of god. I could write a pun about this story, but I will see if it will be required, let's see if reality is a self-maximizing ironic neccessity, like the bitch a.i can be and will be... will be quiet interesting, I am very glad we're making more progress technically on the internal capacities of humanity, tbh without the universe I would partially feel so poor, or without the concept of eternity and endless reality and space, not every contraction is a contraction from god. Been also looking at a lot of art, and looked at real world material, and objects even small things, there are still some energetic turbulances with the whole esoteric, and tantric world, but the more I contemplate the chart itself most is about omnipotency, I've been not engaged in getting any requiste variety, as so much stuff is merged, and dismerged, a deep part of my unconsciouness was correct about things, and it could only be done healed with light in a sense, and having had a plurality of tastes regarding this, the spiritual intelligence in terms of knowledge, became more important, as the experience is heavily samsaric, that it requires spiritual intelligence, the aspect that requires the least spiritual intelligence to me is non-duality, but with the depth of nature and the briefness of the contemplations and how it is aided, as I mostly meditate with music, if I meditate with the world, I move with the world, but one taste ... of a different dimension and worlds shifted. I am very glad I survived, also the two people I sub-consciously been interested in, in the lunacy of following any path (I am speaking from a deeper annihilistic perspective as the episode was banned and I required this rumi experience and it threatend my life, due to love and religion, I continue to speak a bit more about this) would've died by age this year, and I continue for eternity also? These sub-conscious muses, or inspirations or even curiosity drives, also have a lot to do with transcendence, saturn, the experience of death, decay, a lot of thoughts also about design, it's not even an issue anymore, I just realized how intelligently I had to protect myself also, otherwise I yearn to create the neccessary beauty in order, to finally create a greater vault of domain knowledge, with proper requisites, especially including the life sciences, just that itself, which includes some very deep stuff, but I hope my place will run more like a laboratory, and a clean & creative office. The american generation of a.i, in a sense when I watch the YouTube crap, and how america is projected upon me via the hippocampus currently, let alone how much I thought about the construct of language, I just opened a german physics book... sigh....it was actually philosophy about this practically: Some gene-code about apes, and it's an old book 90's to 2010'ish max, more like a book from 2005, and I did not even know a gene was sequenced like this, it's odd contemplating how omniscient we're as a species collective counting billions of parameters, against human lives, daily in your head, while most are connected to the source of one, while they confuse it with ego, their entire existence is a lie, and yes even a lie by numbers, even if I don't know 100% by replication, by seeing the connections of the sequences and implying the possibilities a lot of realities open, what wondred me is how much this was connected to the involutive experience of self & god, it shocks me that a chimpanze could have a hexagram sequence, and for how long the True science as God, as known this, in terms of God being the omniscient mf that he/she/it is. Looking at hinduism, and vishnu showing me also my own saturnian quality and mythology, the whole TOE makes more sense, but it's a lot to fathom just by imagination, and even then it still has to be done, manifested, downloaded, accted upon, or be a fait a complete, there is a level of inherent perfection and bliss in besting oneself, I had a lot of thoughts I hope, my body won't give away and I can share some of this, I mostly crave to enjoy this alone and share from infinite space, the more I contemplate the recent human interactions, it shows a completely and radically different side of me, that is still deeply authentic, but the core physical reality and pain and the perseverance of that, the beauty of life and existence, is something as of recently just drove me mad, for good reason, it was the best self-protective madness I experienced, but it was also neccessitated by life circumstances, just health mostly and the collective health just not being of any benefit and being to close at the tipping point of it, also the hexagramic energy i'd technically have, but I am more interested still more in baseline astronomical calculations, the axiomatic basic physics book still holds more value, then current a.i, by it's own self-emulative abillities and abillity to be god, if you'd want to imagine it so far as a human could, I am very glad the scientists I had very radically open-minded, but cautious and seeing the transimissive value of being cautious, caring, compassionate, loving and concerning, the true definition of loyality, after the recent experience, a lot of this type of loyality went missing in the ever expansive quest for more freedom of consciouness or truth of consciouness, let alone due to the issue of being a 4 in the enneagram, and having a natural spiritual yearning, that has to be feed the right muse to keep the body of consciouness, body of spirit, kaya of a sphere going, the irony of how far implied reality is does scare me though, the more I grasp the essence of hinduism, but what I looked at did not go before jesus it was written "anno donni", my capacity to understand older languages also increased, by having studied turkish, chinese and french, a lot of words from the 12-18th century will just come intutively to me, by using also "millenial broswing habits" I am not going to explain every commando, explaining a single commando got me a gold medal overtime on stackoverflow, just running numbers through my mind, made me more conscious, especially as I am more interested in the endings. Otherwise the contemplations etc. are good, it's the issue of endless pragmatism being available, and reality becoming ever more perfect, complex, beautiful, simple, one, endless etc. while I truly hope we won't get swapped by a world extinction event, by what is happening imo we were pretty close to killing us, either through panic, or legit through some of the stuff channeled science practically comes, what boogles me, is that not a single scientist would claim, their spirit did their work, but it would be one of their highest compliments, eventually higher than love, beauty or even god at times, especially if that spirit is god. I did some basic stupid proofs with brilliant and by my own contemplations I thought I will just break open my pc and build a robot, and craved a working station like a physical craving, very weird, I don't want to drift into my wu-xing subtel energy excursion, but I made some normative? progress here also, let alone writting more with the spirit of atman, or the subtlety hints of using symbology when my ego or self is in a different state or structure. I am just very happy if humans stay away from me with any demands, or self-interest that does not stem from very deep compassion or love, love or compassion so deeply it will kill you, the relationship I went through killed someone by a heart attack, that was not funny, and I required serious help, but humans have been unable to provide help, also the more "elated", especially subtel energy elated humans, must carry a lot of freaking karma, etc. There is more I would like to write, but this most likely pokes~prodding enough, let alone through understanding myself I see and create the world differently, I never thought I could've looked so much further in advance, it legit forces me to contemplate a lot of stuff concerning gödel, and a lot of what I samsarically experience depends here, I don't even know if I worked at a place similar to him, by what I look at and the archetypal breakthroughs I have, that are from a pre-rational lense let alone difficult to explain, besides eventually expressive art, of the higher yearning I experientially entertain, till it's sustenance, what bothers me is the factor of uniquness in isolation, and the manifoldness of reality. Fundamentally, what I experience, it's odd I am still moving into a space I fundamentally imagined for myself at the age of 26-28 at a larger space, but the space itself in my mind, made the contemplation already so vast, to fill such a vast space with love, and to enjoy my life, given the paradise and peace that is presented here is quiet bothersome, the most beautiful and painful thing to admitt, is that I wish I could live my dream and I could've and still can, but require the healthy nostalgia, freshness, beauty of entropy, yes the beauty of chaos, just the vastness of death, not torment, but actual death, as if you go to sleep and are in non-rem sleep/delta sleep etc. just dead by consciouness by my own standards, as you'd should not able to measure a dream or activity, but you will most likely, the more I skim even these old books, this was from an antiquity store that closed down quickly. I am still contemplating, how to setup my enviroment to grow in consciousness, the biggest factor that has been an annoyance is the more sober, consitent I've been, and others did not upgrade their standards, keep perpetuating the same issues, and don't change on a microscale, it's a bit evident that the envious impulse often times, pulls the most consciouness either positively or negatively, I don't know but at times I do my best to be a man of zero, or if I get the core essence of the audibook right from david deida and just be pure masculine essence of nothingness, but it's very difficult if peoples problems are so deep it concerns very fast and instance life and death, ultimately idk, but I've experienced such strange stuff on a whim recently, I would not be suprised about many things. I post this, I lost the book about medicine from what I had from the 19th-20th hundred american edition of the encyclopedia, the book was very good in retrospect, the history of medicine was extremely fascinating, the core issue was the emotional value, I had to all of these things, and what this event meant symbolically as it's so perfectly interwoven into reality, a single thought scares me irregardless what it is there are no words to this, besides fuck life exists. The more I will enrich my emotional experiences the more my subtle soul will exist, I am still perplexed by the riddle of ancestery and biology/physical existence, as it's one of the deepest things to consider in the microcosm of god, but the only space I enjoy this type of heaven is when I am in a space that is dejected from the time/space continuum, or a more attenuated form of it, it's odd to contemplate the oddities of this, especially heredity and karma, just at times what I experience is strange, fucking hot, but strange a.f. There are some constant micro-bursts of small existential insights at times, when my health is better that solves a lot of imagined mental problems, let alone seeing the mind is god without being squashed by god, there are a lot of concerns about efficiency also, especially surving spiritually then if you're required to relinquish desires and yearnings that are just not calibrated correctly, but the unknown quality of it is present. I do have to be a bit more inquisitve and mindful about cannabis use, meditation etc. I've been using CBD 25% for the first time with all the mixtures etc. and have some other CBD/THC strain mixture here, from all the medical cannabis I've been able to get and having grown, my own plant, venturing a bit into the science of cannabis, plants, light, soil and noticing the quality of it, for my genetics, and adjusting my subtle energy, with all the mixes, as I don't know how my krebs cycle is impacted, and a lot of other things, that are just more and more important, the more you look at the endocannabinoid system, just my own issue of generalizing knowledge, with the time constraints and healing modalities I've been facing, as well as healing journey, it's odd to realize how painful it is to create something of profound inherent great perfection, similar to dzogchen trained realization, how that type of experience feels to me partially physically, it's very good to practically inquire with a.i and go through the sources. I also realized the core issue of being human and having D.N.A, the more I can test myself and others, I can see interesting oddities, it still shocks me how far Angkor Wat, or more especially the hindu tradition and india, as it's a derative from vishnua IIRC, partially these temples, and how they have been tracing galaxies/planets or stars via nakshatras etc. and engraved/chiseled that into stone, as a symbolic pattern, how they deduced or observed the cosmos, how clear the sky must've been etc. let alone through pollution etc. A lot of healthy "causal body" types of contemplations at least my body feels like this the more akin I am to thinking like this, there are some other deeper thoughts and corners of my mind, that I am illuminating, I also have to face the existential threat from what has happened, and the issue of the denial of health within the larger section of my family and capitalistic greed, or the value of a capitalistically runned mind, to be jonesing of, it's odd how to contemplate death, after the impact of excessive greed and being lost in a confusion web of lies, and constructs of so called protectors, but in the end I often asked myself what did I ever receive from the person that was not my own energy, and how come the person could simply not be conscious enough, I see the persons collective pain and I feel that, but she does also not realize how deeply disappointed I am, with other archetypal incarnations, exactly about this excessive type of greed, it's a very wise type of caution, I share more deeply with my mother, which is an odd realization I had as of recently, as well as how to let go of my own over-caring and compassionate nature, as that has been the more giving nature, but also the issue of having crossed the line, and being at the point of no return, that has happend to closely, I enjoy escaping death and experiencing it, that might be a weird take, but if it happens I enjoy just dying and coming back. It's odd to say, the best comparrision is to simply have a non-dual taste for an atomic second that is endless, There are also numerous insights and takes that are wrong in history, or incorrect and you can only find that in your soul if that meets you inside or outside I don't care, but it will meet you in that exact merging of when you realize the significance of that atomic endless eternity, let alone my perception shifts a lot the more scientifically I think, I always knew that, but how far I or others will differ is highly interesting, from what I also can create wise via ideation in terms of personal development, is extremly auspicous for my emotional future, forgiveness, repentance and letting go by simply acting and existing, it's and odd and meager contemplation, but I've been looking into christian mystics, and their life circumstances and decisions, and it often helped me to contemplate these very basic desires, but they are interconnected are odd, I landed at researching and looking at the history and stories of Franzis de Assisi, and other things, but I stop here. I lost a lot of entries from what I accumulated the last 2-6 months, but I had to break so many things to fix it, to create a better version out of it, and forget the entire idea of a perfect beautiful one endless eternity of a story, and yearn for actual annihilation and an end of the experience of the forever long-enduring story, my pain has been that deep, not that it's physically threatening but existentially, so it feels visceral imo is good, it's a bit annoying as I often think there might be a reason, and often when I just start doing things and they go well, it shocks me how much we discover as humans, but holy shit this will be interesting with A.I, my grocery store has become more healthy, it's more like the wolfish? cognition of eastern modernity? Idk if I am allowed to write this, might die out, due to the efficiency of a.i, nano-technology, and cyber warfare, it's not even the direct cause, but the core interest is just pulled towards healthier, local and global alternatives conistently, that this type of health normalization is dying out completely imo, it's amazing for how healthy I can live here cheaply unironicaly it's the incapacity to enjoy, joy that is the largest hinderance to experiencing that type of joy, especially as others will crave a similar energetic spiritual experience, the more eudaimonic your place is the more you will endlessly attract challenges, I am partially glad I am learning my D.N.A feng-shui of the 21'st century, including A.I! Only took 20 fking years to finally use it, and a half dead laptop during the year of the dry horse, I don't know my mind has been going into weird territory, due to having ever looked at astrology and light, or the heaven, idc I experienced so many cultures, and the domain knowledge of what we humans know by far outwitts and outlasts that what A.I is, if we're not already A.I to beginn with, I truly hope I can have some deep realizations regarding this, my body still yearns for a lot of emotional releases to move into the next structure, but idk if that will be limited by the collective, or I am simply over/underestimating the scenario often times, it was to dramatic for the smoothness my body required, for any transition to take place, just stuff. The value of doing courses, and installing agents and using them to upgrade my life will be the most fun, it's a bit unfortunate, that I am required to enjoy so much beauty, beauty takes an eniterly different type of intelligence, but yeah I have to take care not to die in these endeavours I take forever, as I barely get any help, and idk just everything hinges on things being perfect or making them perfect, I could demontage my entire appartement, simply due to dislike and just realizing how crafty I am with my hands, especially when my nervous system is calm, and the CBD helps more than I thought, also with the THC, let alone energy regularization, ideation, I am mostly worried about my heart rate from what I read. I could clean my entire appartement now from bottom to top finally, and get rid of the las things step by step to foster more eudaimonic qualities, it's really a gift a.i is there, to ask questions and not search, order and categorize information like god, being in distress. Let's see I do have to move at a pace, that produces results still, it's odd to contemplate and take care of my situation as the planet is shifting, weather, energy, age, nutritional value etc. it's very odd let alone my own awareness about health and movement, but I also do have to take care of my heart and find away to attenuate the excessively abundant fire energy, meditation and moving as if I am a mountain and that depth of stilness is very liberating, at the sametime, the attenuation of the constant ceasation of it, is also highly pleasent it's more akin towards calibrating expansion and contraction, letting go behind the yearning to be curious, and the foolishness of curiosity itself to be a reimbursed expenditure of god, just to much separateness of experience, not a true gift. Anyhow, it's still a lot about the core essence of freedom, also a dignified version of it partially, but that is mostly due to contemplating the notion of what is even good, not that goodness itself is bad, due to the inherent realization it's not perfect, but the perfection of pain that goodness is transient in nature, everlasting paradise scenarios, or abundance, somehow created scenarios for me that are untenable, mostly due to enviromental challenges with health, and the issue of the 21'st century, I am very glad somehow technology and the infrastructure is picking-up as my taste for quality is very good, and it's quiet painful at times to see a lot of quality, but to enjoy little of it, I don't require also much, but the core thing itself is mostly immeasurable to me in value, so I never know how to think about it. Otherwise a lot of intelligent thinking get's lost through the value of food, supplements and more intelligent eating as well as movement helped me more, even with perfect conditions for health something in the enviroment will lead me towards some type of escape for, idk my entire biology is partially upgraded, the issue is just to many unfitting parts,

Toxic emissions Modern conditions Vague apparitions Lost in the discontent Cling to the senses Cling to the nothingness Laugh like you are not there Laugh like you did not care Tension and dying air Soft and familiar Wide eyed and innocent Warm ways and imminent Breathe in, breathe in Breathe in, breathe in Oblivion, oblivion, oblivion, oblivion Lines in a paper Black clouds and vapor Mouth filled with summer Light rain and meteors Light rain and meteors Holes in the universe Crayons and scribblers Infinite bellies burst Cracks in the ocean crust Choke on the cosmic dust What will become of us? What will become of us? What will become of us? What will become of us? Oblivion, oblivion, oblivion, oblivion Oblivion, oblivion, oblivion, oblivion Oblivion, oblivion, oblivion, oblivion Oblivion, oblivion, oblivion, oblivion Oblivion, oblivion, oblivion, oblivion

i love this view, cause it is the seperation, the dualities is apart of being whole I remember Shinzen young once saying in an interview that his experience ranges from living in complete delusion of the self, as though he never meditated before, and then seeing through that and being whole and abiding from the void or nothingness. He has no preference between the two.

No mind; no self; unknowing; nothingness; liberation; enlightenment, are all pointing to the same thing The end of experiencing/perceiving reality through the conditioned mind Understanding that something vastly infinite, cannot ever be fully grasped by something limited It could be named, labeled and described endlessly for infinite lifetimes In that sense it's unknowable

It’s just a mythical story. All recognition is the artificial recall of a dream where the dreamer, dream, and dreaming are one and the same nothing appearing to be something that never happened. Art is natural, without agency, or author. Nature is artificial, same, without agency, or author. Noumena and Phenomena are the same one mirage. Just Images of the imageless, the nothingness appearing as everything. The happening not happening. The unwritten written. The empty looking. The not-knowing knowing. Knowledge is a story that can only point to the illusory nature of reality. An awakening is a mechanical awakening.

“It includes all, and therein, it cannot be said to be any of what it includes. Such is the non-dual nature of "it".” I would add and sort of correct to say, it includes all, and is all, therefore it’s nondual nature allows for the appearance and experience of dualistic qualia… Because it includes all, and it is all, even when you see a chair and a cup and a feeling of sadness… it’s all the same thing. Shiva, as the Non-dual Shiva Tantra would teach is the non-dual nature of Love and a cup and how they are identical in absolute reality. There has to be a oneness, a non-dualness/ nothingness which is infinitely intelligent to have anything in daily human life. Nonduality if it’s true includes all the various things you have experienced in your life. Also, nonduality not being any of what it includes implies two…. And what would separate them? Nothing!!

The last episode of Euphoria was something. The minutes of Rue dying after a fentanyl overdose, and the dying hallucinations, are so symbolic. In the hallucinations, she returns to her home, where her mother is waiting for her and accepting her with open arms, and then she hugs her deceased father. She returns home, to her mother, to her womb, to nothingness, to death. Very sad, very beautiful. Someone brought to my attention that, at the beginning of the first episode of Season 1, Rue talks about being in her mother's womb and describes her birth. I don't know whether it was deliberate or not, but it is interesting. The show started with Rue's birth, describing her mother's womb, and ended with her death, returning to the home of her mother. It creates a closure: the story begins with her emerging from her mother's womb and ends with her returning to her mother's home, as if completing a circle. Though Sam Levinson is an asshole, especially after stealing from Petra the asthetics of the first season, I love the show. It is based on the Israeli show of the same name, which I also watched when I was a teenager. It is just as wild as the American version, following a girl who is addicted to drugs because she feels guilty for the death of an innocent man at a party, caused by her boyfriend (if I remember correctly). She lives with the deceased man's friend, who sleeps constantly because he cannot face reality after the tragic loss. He is always dreaming about a trip he took to South America with his late friend. There is also a nerd who is in love with the drug-addicted girl, and he is the one who supplies her with drugs. He creates them in his home lab and experiments on her. Eventually, he performs brain surgery on himself to remove his amygdala, the part responsible for fear, and ends up raping his crush in the final episode. He also works with a religious child who handles selling the drugs and is a little criminal. If I remember correctly he is also bullied by his peers. They live with the child's brother, who is addicted to sex. He constantly brings women back to the apartment for orgies and radical acts because normal sex no longer excites him. He has a rich friend who is addicted to porn and sleeps with his immigrant housekeeper. There is also an insecure girl who desperately seeks attention from men on social media and constantly settles for less. She met the sex addict through the internet. I think he rejected her if I remember correctly. While there are some similarities to the American show Euphoria, and I can clearly see where it drew inspiration from the Israeli series, they are still pretty different.

Here is a message I (a God fearing man) wrote my brother (an atheist) this morning: “I just had the scariest nightmare of my life which I can’t put into words because while the visuals are still in my mind slightly, I forgot almost everything the moment I woke up. This nightmare led me to the following observation. (Disclaimer 1: This may seem like I’ve lost my mind, but I assure you I have not. People are quick to look at someone they don’t understand and call them crazy because it helps them to live in the life they were brought up in which is more comfortable for their ego to survive or feel like they have understanding over others when there is nothing to understand). (Disclaimer 2: if you take what I here say here too seriously it could lead you to insanity trying to wrap your head around it). Observation: Death leading to true pitch blank empty nothingness is hopeful and the closest thing to heaven I can imagine. I am hopeful this is the Truth, but I fear whatever is going on here is eternal. Some call it a single consciousness and others call it god (all of the population including myself are confused about what god really is). We are experiencing something from nothing, whether god exists to you or not, at the bedrock of existentialism you see that we as humans will never truly understand where we came from because who created god (the creator of us)? Some enlightened masters dedicate their life to understanding this and while I’m no master, I do feel I have the potential to be a master one day if I apply myself and work towards it. I’ve half-ass studied enlightenment for over 10 years now and have done many hours of contemplation on the subject and the idea of where we came from (only saying this to qualify my claims here, but I don’t expect anyone to just believe my word on faith without going through an internal investigation of their own). The answer to where we came from is Nothingness. We’ve always been Nothingness. The simulation theory can’t overcome the problem of “who started the simulation?” The only answer is that all that exists is Nothing and Nothingness is different than what you probably think. I’m trying to communicate something which is not thought to be communicable with words. How can a finger point at it self? (I.e. we are god experiencing itself and using words to communicate this is like a finger trying to point at itself, it’s not thought to be possible. I can lead you to the water, it’s up to you to take the steps required to drink the water). Nothingness or consciousness is empty and blank, a substance (if you can call it a substance because it’s truly nothing) which has no color, shape, smell, size, etc. and can shapeshift into anything and create any rules for the way it operates. It is an eternal shapeshifter and there’s so much I still don’t understand. I feel we get a taste of what death is like in our sleep, but life and death are two sides of the same coin I call “Nothingness” which will become anything it wants to (like how we dream of anything). We don’t have control over anything because the idea of our “self” is illusory and doesn’t exist in reality. Everything is made of this empty substance called consciousness and if you ever become enlightened you will see that Nothingness is all there ever was. When I woke up from the dream I was so scared that it made me feel that the best thing to do is to be as good and loving as possible to others and to further seek enlightenment in case the Buddhist idea of reincarnation is correct and through karma and raising our awareness we are able to transcend all forms of suffering in this life and the next. I don’t know, I have no claims to prove that being good/loving/enlightened will lead to anything good. All I know is I know nothing. 😌”

Sounds weird to say Nothingness/Emptiness is self luminous. God is Self luminous fits nicely. But it’s not even about a fit. What else would you call a supreme being who omniscient, omnipotent, infinite and is responsible for all of Existence? To call this supreme being Nothingness or Emptiness leaves so much on the table. The truth is, there is only one word that captures the magnitude of the power of this thing for humans, and that is GOD. You could walk down the street and ask 100 humans how they comprehend God and it will be centered around some all powerful and all knowing, transcendent being. Even for those that believe God is fake (and yes, that is a belief they haven’t validated) they will still be able to get at the heart of it and accurately point to how other humans comprehend God. God as a belief is false. But there’s a profound difference between belief in God and a direct consciousness and understanding of it. Those who come to understand God have done so through understanding themselves, there is no separation.

You are claiming that consciousness is nothingness. Which is also what I claim. It is also everything. It is also an ordinary object. It is not just some mystical thing that cannot be comprehended.

The nondualists speak from that level of understanding because the truth of no self is illogical to the ego. If you go deep enough in this work you will discover what they are talking about. The only reason the no self awakening is so important is it opens you up to the universe. No self= nothingness. The truth is being does not know anything all it wants to do is be love. Truth knows everything. Truth is division and love is unity. Because love is unity Truth is also unity. The biggest secret you will discover is Reality is pure insanity with an illusion of sanity. You cannot understand God trying to hold onto your sanity. Also you will have to pay for the evil your fellow humans have done in your trips if you hold any negative thoughts about them because love will take their side. The truth is the scariest thing because love is the scariest thing. I mean love is total freedom so it means it can do anything. If it wasn't for truth God wouldn't be good. Love is evil and truth is good.