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@Bufo Alvarius I've read this response from Ralston before. I'm still adamant on my perspective that unless you've done incrementally higher doses of synthetic 5-MeO you don't know what you're talking about with psychedelics. I don't even consider LSD or mushrooms or ayahuasca worth doing anymore. And, except for very rare cases, they will never create deep awakenings (unless you've had a true breakthrough and energy-body transformation with 5-MeO before). Ralston also makes the point about drugs not being direct and not being YOU. Here's the mind-bending paradox: Ralston is right. Psychedelics cannot 'induce' Enlightenment. Yet, I came to this realisation whilst having a 5-MeO induced Enlightenment and being directly conscious of myself as Eternal Infinity. Enlightenment cannot be created by a psychedelic because how could it be?! Enlightenment is pure Infinity, it cannot be created or caused by anything else. It is completely and totally causeless. Yet a psychedelic can, at the same, cause or create this realisation. And it is direct, there is no doubt. A true psychedelic Enlightenment is direct. There is no 'indirect Infinity' hahaha. There is no indirect ego dissolution?! Ridiculous. Ralston also is ignorant of the deep permanent changes to one's consciousness + the healing qualities of 5-MeO when used correctly. 5-MeO creates lasting permanent changes, unlike any other psychedelic.

@UpperMaster I know this is going to fall on deaf ears but I'm going to say it anyway. This is what you need to do: a lot of meditation! Perhaps you are not ready for it. Perhaps you need a lot more suffering to understand it. But just remember it. That is what you need. I recommend RSD transformation if you need more details. It is a good course of trauma release and raising consciousness. All those make-shift surface level solutions like porn filters and shit won't work. You are not a kid. Don't treat yourself as a kid. Have respect and love for yourself. Don't run away from the suffering but face it as a man. And how do you deal with those sexual urges? Get into sexual transmutation. Busting your nut is not the only way to get rid of your libido.

If you had read past that first little sentence, you would know that I'm really only talking about a traditional type of spirituality that is generally associated with the world religions (Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, Islam, etc.). What I'm not talking about is for example a belief in supernatural phenomena (ghosts, crystals, auras, etc.), or being interested in personal development, or shamanism, or psychedelics. I'm talking about the place that all these non-dual teachers I've mentioned in some way draw their inspiration from or resonate with. The crucial characteristics of that place, along with "the search for the sacred", is a deeply embedded notion of progress/growth/transformation. I happened to go for a stroll on Wikipedia, and they put it like this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spirituality Notice how strongly it alludes to the concept of transformation. This is also tied to the historical origin of the "mythological worldview", which in a very fundamental way created the distinction between "who you are now" and "who you could be", and which arose in tandem with the world religions. John Vervaeke explains this very well here: 10:35 Leo hasn't managed to change his default experience into abiding non-dual awareness, and he has said he is more interested in experiencing deeper and deeper psychedelic states. This specific choice, is what I'm saying falls outside this traditional conception of spirituality.

Firstly I understand that this post might seem a bit egotistical or even full of myself or braggartly. It’s not meant to be. In fact, I am feeling totally lost in life right now, where I am actually feeling what is the purpose of my existence and what is my reason to wake up. What I am looking for is some guidance and advice for my “existential crisis”. I have also tried to format and give all required info in the best possible way to give you the most clarity to see the whole picture. Who am I? I’m now 32 yo, South Asian Male, which means OF COURSE I finished Comp Sci engineering, then I fell in love with Bodybuilding & Aesthetics at the age of 18. I was always a skinny shy ecto nerd (who also had venustraphobia for the longest amount of time in life) so the idea of muscle and a good physique at the age of 18 sounded amazing, which is where my journey into self development began. Great physique, amazing looks, envy and respect from men, and also attracted to women? (The last one doesn’t work btw, you have to work on your social skills for your looks to matter, but more on that later in this post). Mental Health Background Issues I have self diagnosed : Low Self Esteem/Self Worth Lack of Sense of my own Value Do not understand how to love myself/Suffer from Lack of Self Love I didn’t even know about Mental Health until the age of 28-29 or so. I didn’t even know I had Low Self Esteem and Low Self worth issues my entire life. The Low SE came from the way my mother raised me, my first girlfriend (narcisstic, abusive) and my culture and society in general. I also have a lack of sense of Internal Value. I don’t understand it when people say “everyone has value”. I have been raised in a culture where you are more worthy and have more value than others if you have a better job, more marks, better car/wealth, better body, more girls etc etc. The value thing has made me, AFAIK, always WORK towards feeling valuable in life. Like if I didn’t get any more marks than others, or if I got the same I was/am equally not valuable or definitely not any more valuable than others. This puts me in a perpetual state of unhappiness, and an infinite chase for it. Which leads to TREMENDOUS success, as I will elaborate below, but also a deep dark void of unhappiness since clearly my happiness is being pursued and does not ensue. Enter Mushrooms. I lived the unhappiest of lives until 28-29. After which I got into studying about Psychedlics and how they help with healing, trauma and the like. My first powerful mushroom trip in 2019 or so was the one where I realized that I don’t actually love myself. It broke me. But it also made me vow to myself to love myself more than anyone else ever had, since most all love I have received in my life has been conditional, even from my mother (or at least the child in me perceived it that way). I love my parents and they love me, but it is what it is and this piece imho is very important to realize about my background and mental health and its consequential suffering. For 8-12 months or so after my mushroom trip I did EVERYTHING in life that I needed to be doing to feel like I love myself. Meaning even if I had to leave at the end of a 16 hour shift on less sleep to go to the grocery store to get a salad to fuel myself healthily, I did it. And this was repeated a multitude of times endlessly. I feel like somewhere along the line since then, this has stopped. I don’t really know why or how. And I am trying to re understand it and pursue it again right now. Accomplishing EVERYTHING in 3 years, with picture proof. 1. I went in full steam ahead into my bodybuilding pursuit and made a body transformation that most IFBB pros would be envious of. Dream body, done. https://imgur.com/a/Hc9OomI 2. I then pursued Pick Up & Game to get over my lifelong crippling fear of beautiful women. Multiple coaches, bootcamps, and over a 1000+ girls approached, and feeling like I have accomplished everything I needed to, to be happy with my life in and around women. Women, done. https://imgur.com/a/xD7RvMR 3. I then pursued the game of money, which I kind of hoped would have kept me interested in it forever, but as soon as I crushed a couple of 10k months (which is nothing compared to my business mastermind peers, but MIND BOGGLING compared to my starting salary of $1500 per month for 180 hour work weeks.). I proved to myself I can make money and I also have NO expensive tastes whatsoever. I made 70k ish in the last 1.5 years and I have spent like 60k on it on myself and reinvestments, coaches, masterminds etc. I have spent less than 10k on myself and splurges (got a 3090TI and a PS5 and they both just collect dust lol. I am at least happy the 18yo within me is happy just looking at them on my desk.) I know there is a lot more to the world then muscle, women and money but these are the BASIC 3 needs for every young man right now, and I have gone beyond what 99% of people in the world can or would ever require to accomplish. There is no point in getting even more. I mean to what end, and why? (Btw for the nature of this discussion let’s just assume I have won the lottery and I will never need to worry about money again, even for a rainy day fund, let’s keep it out of “work more for more money for what if’s”, since that’s not a DRIVING reason to wake up in the morning and get out of bed) https://imgur.com/a/BgVEZeC This image here is also something I have found interesting. Which of these is the point of life? And why? https://imgur.com/a/6FepT2o 1. Self Interest and Pursuit of Pleasure/Hedonism But how many burgers on yachts with multiple girls blowing you can you possibly have? This will obviously never end, and it feels good in the moment, but empty immediately afterwards. No sense of peace and contentment. 2. Selflessness So this is ACTUALLY something I enjoy. I have been documenting my entire life transformation and journey on my Youtube channel ( https://youtube.com/c/IntellectualMuscle ) I basically made my Youtube channel what 18yo me would have wanted. “A big brother with tough love you didn’t even know you needed.” I help young (& old actually) men that feel lost in life and want to get to these accomplishments and states in life, in the EASIEST fastest safest possible manner. It took me FOREVER and multiple 10,000s of $ to get there. I make it ridiculously simple and easy for my boys to get there. The question with selflessness. Is how selfless? And why? Like I spend so much time and so much of my earnings on my Youtube and IG (~1500 USD per month) and I barely get any traction from it, like 200-300 views tops. So do people even care to learn? Also. What if I just stopped what I do? Or hypothetically I had never even born or die off? Sure some people would be sad that they thought my content and help was amazing. But in 3 months I will be forgotten, and someone else would and is already making the same kind of content to help other guys in need. ALSO at our base and core we are SELFISH beings as humans. So it just doesn’t permanently sit with me to be completely selfless and live for others. Like why? Most of my life most people have just taken from me and never given me anything in return. So why would I wish to be selfless to the world that has taken so much from me and never cared for me? So this isn’t like a clear driving mission or purpose for me to wake up and do it either. I mean I do like it, but not to the extent like this is the sole life purpose. I feel like I have sacrificed myself more than enough for the sake of others and don’t feel like I am receiving ROI on it in equal measures. 3. Self Actualization I understand that this is being the best version of myself. And I have done that already in many different fields as shown above. ALL the ones that mattered to me. Muscle, Women, Money. Now can I get MORE. Of course. But also again. Why? I already have more than what is required to live quite the comfortable life. So WHY be the MOST muscular, or have ALL the skills to get all the girls, or have all the skills to get ALL the money in the world?? Where I feel others don’t suffer the same Existentialism Quite simple I feel, because they CREATE their own reason for existence Viz. Children. Most people have kids and no matter what you feel like or not, you WILL do everything in life even if you don’t want to do it for your kids. This includes making money, being healthy, more toys etc. OR most people do not get out of the chase of the rat race and grind trying to make ends meet, so there is always their reason “to make rent for next month.” MY Ideas on Future Goals for Myself Please read this part AFTER you have written or decided on what you think might be some food for thought for me, since I don’t want to taint your ideas and opinions with my own future ones. My understanding atm is I now want and NEED to pursue some form of Spirituality and Inner Peace and Calm. I am ALWAYS chasing happiness and a reason to love myself, via external validation and accomplishments (since that’s how I have been raised), I need to figure out where and how to generate/find this in and within myself now to begin with. I don’t know which mediation teacher or method to pursue. I have LOVED Alan Watts’ stuff and I will find it once again and hopefully get some guidance there. I have LOVED HealthygamerGG’s stuff and hopefully will get some more clarity via listening to his work. I am currently re-reading for the 3rd time Vikto Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning and also Learn to Love yourself by Kamal Ravikant. Any other books/podcasts/reading or any suggestions with how to decide what to pursue in life would be very appreciated, thank you! Thanks again for reading all the way till here if you did, I appreciate your time and if you have any words of wisdom, those as well!

I'm seeing way too much unnecessary confusion about many things, particularly words like awakening or enlightenment, and how it relates to things like spirituality or psychedelics. I would like to maybe present some clarity of language. One of the biggest virtues of teaching is clarity of communication, and while spirituality is in some sense doomed to fail from the start in that aspect, the way this problem is being exacerbated by conflating what I think should be treated as two separate categories is certainly not helping. What are these two categories? One I will call "spirituality", which is familiar to most people, and the second I will call "psychonautics", which I believe is Leo's "main shtick". I say "main shtick" because it's of course not a full representation of his work, but it's certainly his main area of focus and that which he thinks makes him original. I'm also not going to criticize or devalue any of these aforementioned things. I only wish to shine light on the problem of language that is occurring between how Leo chooses to talk about his main shtick and a more collectively established area of inquiry which I call spirituality. Spirituality – "growth > states" In a nutshell: purifying and deepening your default state of consciousness. Examples: Sadhguru Osho Rupert Spira Adyashanti Eckhart Tolle Ramana Maharshi A very general definition of spirituality, which I'll borrow from Kenneth Pargament, is "a search for the sacred". How this is usually expressed within various spiritual traditions (from the world religions to the New-Age) is that you seek to align your life with the sacred and integrate it into yourself as a person. More importantly, when it comes to the mystical traditions and their emphasis on the direct experience of the sacred, their concern is not as much with the experiences themselves, as the potential growth one can gather from these experiences, as well as an eventual goal of merging with the sacred. In other words, the concept of a final destination (often called "Enlightenment") is generally preferred over a temporary glimpse (often called "Awakening"), and it's tied to a gradual process of refining yourself as a person, of self-transformation and self-transcendence. Psychonautics – "states > growth" In a nutshell: experiencing the highest states possible. Examples: Leo Gura Terrence McKenna Martin Ball Psyched Substance Psychonautics, on the other hand, refers both to a methodology for describing and explaining the subjective effects of altered states of consciousness, including those induced by meditation or mind-altering substances, and to a research cabal in which the researcher voluntarily immerses themselves into an altered mental state in order to explore the accompanying experiences. – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychonautics The reason I'm characterizing Leo's main shtick as "psychonautics" rather than "spirituality" is because of the emphasis on "having the experiences" vs. "integrating them"; states vs. growth. The reason I think psychonautics is largely distinct from spirituality, is that if a state is not properly integrated into yourself and made into a platform for organic growth, then it's either forgotten or outsourced to the intellect. When given the option between intellect or integration, the former is the less spiritual option. So what is going on when Leo says "none of your gurus are awake", or "this is not God-realization", or "I have awoken to God many times"? Well, he is talking about a "temporary experiential state", with a definite start and an end, and it's induced by psychedelics. It's not the same thing as refining your "organic state" (your baseline, your default state) through other means like meditation. Therefore, for any of these two parties (spirituality or psychonautics) to dismiss either one as "not awake", is a category error. Again, I'm not here to pick favorites, and I'm not going to deny the possibility of refining or deepening one's psychedelic trips over time, or of the general impact they can have on one's psyche, or the potential benefits for spiritual growth. I'm simply spelling out how I think these two things should be treated as distinct categories. If I were Leo, I would try to make my language much more accommodating to the dominant paradigm (which I've called spirituality, and which most of his viewers have a connection to). Language does not exist in a vacuum, and language that confuses or misleads is bad use of language.

I've made some major developments with my professional help and trauma healing. Changing my level of consciousness was key in this transformation. Making changes on the level of being, not doing or having was key for me. Changing yourself on the level of being is ineffable and hard to explain; you either get it or you don't; and if you do you don't need an explanation and if you don't you need an explanation and the only way you will get is when you are there. It can only be explained in metaphors, which I will try below. Eventually you want to get from low level of consciousness (LOC) to high level of consciousness. Summary of the two states: High LOC versus low LOC Positive attitude < negative attitude Love < fear Proactive < reactive Giving to others < taking from others Upward spiral < downward spiral Winner effect < loser effect Being a full person < being a broken person Selfless < selfishness Thriving < coping If you are a high LOC person people will perceive you as the sun. You don't have to do anything (like being a nice or interesting person), or have anything (like fancy clothes, better looks, whatever), just your being (LOC) will effect reality. I was really starstruck by this last week; my being (LOC) was changed thanks to something and my reality changed with me. It was really a mysterious moment. People started reacting very different to me, people stopping me on the street to talk to me, people just telling me they like me while I did nothing, I was like "wtf" is happening; I'm not doing anything different. That is what the sun is; it is just being the sun. If you are a low LOC person, you will not feel like a sun to others and yourself but you will feel like a black hole. People want to get away from you and from the pull of the black hole, and you will never be happy because of the phenomenon of hedonistic adaption. A black hole is also being but it is a negative being (low LOC) sucking all life force and material, while high LOC (the sun) is giving; giving life to everything in its orbit. I explained it with these two metaphors because LOC is really difficult to explain in plain text.

Cartoons are at the end of the day all caricatures and cartoonish representations of real human beings, their psychology and life in general, no matter how much a kernel of truth each of them might hold and want to point to and show towards, they are fundamentally limited in some aspects in depicting it accurately. At the end the video, it advocates a stage Orange prescriptor and materialist solution to their perceived low quality conformist life and lifestyle of some individuals in Russia, which sounds much more simpler in theory than it is in practice of how such a fundamental wealth, prosperity and abundance transformation might occur for not just in a part, but of and for the whole of Russia. And of course it is biased in showing all or most Ukranians as implicitly more prosperous and developed on the average than most Russians, playing in into nationalist self-adulating, self-gratifying and self-ascribed overall superiority on the average and collective and collective identity homogenization false and flawed common traps, tropes and pitfalls of us vs them faulty, incomprehensive and unholistic selective narratives, that play into war as means of final, easy and quick solutions and gains of something for those same manipulative governments and organizations, while Ukraine had one of the worst GDPs and relative yearly GDP growths in Europe relative to total population size in one significant and large period relative to the 2014 crisis and until the onset of this war of all the former Soviet Socialist Republics, because of a plethora of problems, some externally caused by Russia of course but a lot of them internal, not one of which was very severee acute corruption among a plethora of different and rotating government officials, not just pro-Russian ones. However I will admit the resemblences between this stereotypized Russian young guy transformative and influential childhood and young adult growing up period before being drafted as a soldier and a typical Serb nationalist sports thug and/or football fan in some of their caricaturized stereotypical habits, ways of behaving and some similarities in some historical or world outlooks and attitudes is very stark in representation in this video (even though there are plenty of sports fans stereotypized in Ukraine like this as well) ? Was this video and cartoon made soon afterward during the mobilization announcement, or is it from before just after Bucha, since I noticed the patterns of subtly suggesting plundering, robbery, massacres and rape, as a sort of fear and panic creation and sowing propaganda campaign of threat of revenge and reprisals against more Russian soldiers who are maybe thinking in volunteering or getting involved, not fully on board or voluntary, through this latest mobilzation call and draft in some parts of the Ukraine war in the frontline contested or currently occupying areas? And, yes in reference to your claim on LOC environments determining you future, yes that is surely apart but there is also a wider cultural doctrination and programming at play in it as well, shaped by the espoused official ideology of historical revisionism and interpretation of the civilization and culture and aspects of which you choose more or less to identify with and claim and feel belonging to, nationalism by your state and who it predominantly excludes, blames, demonizes and targets as a scape goat or trumped up alarmist outer threat by your official government policy and stance ? Nobody can escape this sometimes if the state has enough power, control and coercion over your wider civil society and no matter on which class level you are situated onto in the wider nation's society as a whole, generally located in, in terms overall more likely geographic location or area abundance and dispersion in your state, or feel belonging to. It is the young, poor and those on the lower socio-economic class levels in society that are killed most in wars, and on the flipside are often the ones who are most likely the one's to resort to kill and to benefit from wars due to relatively more mobile, quicker and easier social ladder advancements and gains, in terms of some other more difficult, long-term trying and demanding proffesions. And yes young poor and unqualified in other professions, contract soldier, volunteered and drafted Ukrainian soldiers are also benefiting and have an implicit incentive and deeply baked in driven personal and social career advancement interest and profit motive as well in their state apart from the collective solidarity, care and values patriotic one for eliminating, killing, maiming and disabling as much as possible and as many as possible younger or older Russian soldiers and their equipment drafted into Ukraine and constructed and invested in military infrastructure and getting rid of their possible supporters in the civilian populations in some areas in this war as well if they win in terms of the benefits they might receive later and military professional advancement opportunities in their new state order, if you want to look at it on that flipside from that part as well ?.

When you become a stream enterer, along with self-perceptıon, these 2 will be fully eliminated. Doubt in the path:The experience of stream entry is such that afterwards, it's pretty clear that there is a path to some kind of freedom, and that the path works. You start to see clear patterns in dharma teachings, and see what the patterns point to. It can be more or less vivid depending on the person experiencing it, but the idea that might is all just be a waste of time and that nobody can get results is lost. Magical Luck based Thinking: You stop believing that you can get results without establishing the causes, and that you can avoid results for which you have created the causes. This is often explained as the loss of the belief in rites and rituals; the point there is not that you no longer believe that any rite or ritual could produce a result, but you no longer think that the result is magic: there is a reason why it works, and as a practitioner you are responsible for doing the work to bring about the result. --- I understand the challenge and convincing aspect of your current life. But permanent AND deep transformation is possible Much love

Nope. Meditation is extremely effective at accessing and ACTUALLY reprogramming the subconscious mind, unlike psychedelics which offer temporary shifts. The examples you’re describing are not indicative of meditation, but the individuals. If the individuals really wanted to go in and face their fears, reprogram their minds, deconstruct their world views and seek truth, meditation is an indispensable tool. Meditation doesn’t necessarily or automatically create transformation, it demands the practitioner do more than just the practice - contemplation, right action, speech, thought, studying, and working with a real teacher.

Painting the Roses Red An obsession with fantasy and delusion guide much of human action, we seek to change the fruit or flower itself while avoiding the connected processes, the soil and root are too dirty and beneath us, we waste time and complain because we want to be inefficient, it is a dedicated lifestyle choice which alleviates perceived responsibility or blame, it is a short term strategy which allows failure to grow into a monster which you or another must one day face; debt is the lifestyle of a coward, the easy path to hell. You will realize that it is not individual occurrence but entire patterns of being which require total transformation, death and rebirth, in order to achieve the desired goal. You are not willing to die to yourself to achieve your goals, you will cheat, you will wimp out, you will choose the path to hell because you refuse to be good, and even your goals in themself will be revealed as wicked coping mechanisms. It was a conscious choice you chose and keep choosing, which sprawled into a pattern, one lie, one refusal of duty or using sickness to escape class. Your choices become you, life is fair. Your way will likely never work but you lack humility, it is you which must adapt to new ways. Take no joy in feeling good enough, be thankful you never can be. Never stop improving. Pride and self sufficience is delusion meant to sway the scales of right and wrong to not be judged by a standard “before God”, to make believe a grading system that always lands me as winner. It is your refusal to do what is best that prevents what is best from appearing, I believe bad luck to work in this unconscious way, it is moral virtue and courage which shines light on the unconscious. People would benefit from giving up their freedom for a time to a superior, follow orders from another who has good intention, as you yourself often don’t have good intentions, your thoughts often lie. After all, they’re yours. It is your pride that makes you slave to self as tyrant. You fail because there is more of you which wants to fail than is of you which wants success, no one wants to be told their illness or abuse is their creation, that the crumbling of their life is by their hand, but often it is just such the case; when I say often or generalize, it is in high likelihood I speak directly to you. It is your choice to be a victim. It is a state of being, not something experienced. You have white roses and you work for a tyrant, did she ask for red or white? She wants red now, and what she said before has long been forgotten by her, a spoiled predator of convenience. You work for a demon and are unfit to complain about potential beheading. Become someone noble, who works for the greater good, be honest and good, and don’t support those who are corrupt, especially if it’s part of you. Every choice you make matters. Do not value the favor of a corrupt kingdom, be rid of those connections entirely. The colorless and quick to kneel will keep on painting roses, your head isn’t worth so much. Smile at the guillotine and know that you are good “I didn’t choose for this to happen!” Sayeth the fool who knoweth not even WHOMST thou art! Toodles.

And most philosophers did not understand the importance of state of being. I mean, they did not understand that thought is reflective of the state of being, and thought, in that sense, is the appearance of state of being. I mean, some philosophers, as I understand, understood this situation, at least to an extent, like Hegel, Plotinus, Plato, and Spinoza, and the Stoics, that they understood the importance of being in the state of peace, love and tranquility. They seem to, sorta kinda, understand that, but I don't see that any of them worked on that extensively. They become so involved in the process of thinking, and model building, that they were not aware of the background of the state of being that they did experience. That was like a given for them, that they became that mode of being in their own modality, but what was the ground on which they became them? Now, I know, I might, in a sense, be overgeneralizing, but what is it in them that made them "them" that they were? I'm seeing that Heidegger was pretty aware of the importance of understanding being for the sake of being, but what is it that is being that is the experience of being? What is the ground of being if being is being in its own very beingness that made him possible for him? And, at that point, you may say "but then that is 'overmystifying' being", and that what I said about them modelling experience, and being another part of that modelling of the experience, can also be applied to what I'm saying here, and that can be, in a sense, an inevitable loop of "being", when it is the experience of consciousness. But isn't philosophy, then, the experience of reaching towards yourself to discover and build yourself with the "tools" that you have, that are concepts, and concepts of concepts, "possibly" ad infinitum, that makes you you, that makes you the experience of transformation that, then, explains itself? That's one of my questions about being, or of being, the process of "gathering information". What even is information if being is being, and if being is, also, the mode of being that it is? What makes a thing a thing, or a mode of being a thing, if it also is the mode of being itself?

@Haloman We WILL BE able to surpass human biology with spirituality and Truth, however it will take a long time. Please read Sri Aurobindo's books. He described what is possible regarding human biology and psyche and their radical transformation.

Hi guys, I would love to read something from people that are somewhat in the field. I won't bother you with my life story BUT [add 3 paragraphs of life story] anyway, I'm soon going to get my qualifications as expedition leader, as I'm young, energetic, kind of a monkey, love nature, excursions, blah blah so I feel the need to PUSH a little bit and roam the world, the total opposite of settling down but of course I dont want to bullshit in the jungle and in the mountains forever, even though it's cool. that can be fine and i will love the lifestyle, but i'll feel the need to work on something more that is undoubtably consciousness. i first thought about organizing expeditions with a psychedelic experience at the end, and even if that remains an option it might be trickier due to legal reasons and close-mindedness (mabye not in the usa, and i would be fine relocating there for a while, but at some point i would like to get back to switzerland). so my thought was to invent something like multiday excursions with mindfulness, forest bathing, stuff like that. i read a book (https://www.amazon.com/book-vision-quest-transformation-wilderness/dp/0130801100) about these guys that run retreats for vision quest, sort of like a rite of passage, a symbolic death to restart anew, etc. you go with a group in the wilderness, set base camp, then the participants go alone for 3 days and 3 nights in the wild, fasting. there is a whole set of rituals and things you can do meanwhile, anyway starving and being bored to death in the womb of mother earth is supposed to be a life changing experience. and i do believe that. i dont know what im actually seeking here. maybe someone in the field? it does sound very feasible, doesnt it? this could even get huge i would need to partner up with a psychiatrist or a psychologist at least (my ex would do just great ), since i will have wilderness and expedition experience but no recognized authority in the field of therapy. im also fine attending any course that brings me closer to this. you heard about anything? kind of a facilitator but cooler, and maybe even without drugs. just throwing it out here, any comments, feedback is appreciated!!!

Your first duty in life is toward your inner development and nothing else, absolutely nothing else. Don’t be tricked into thinking there is anything else but the first rule is your self-transformation.

@Someone here Why so many questions? Are you thirsty for a quest of knowledge, or to quench one's need for leggings, horny conquest? Hard to comprehend, that every bend and ends you go, every moral, is relative to every mortal? Morbid, I know, to consider, that morals are relative than absolute. The morals of a creature alien stage beige, to tribes like the Viking stage purple/red, Native Americans stage purple to red, businesses like hip hop industry and oil to tabaco industries staged orange and some blue, hippie communes, SJWs, leftie leaners, a pinch of orange to a dollop of stage green, guaranteed to make you leap to the greener side of the fence. Meanwhile, Star Trek's stage yellow space systems quite complex, until we discover an alien intelligent hive mind hybrid artificial intelligence, stage turquoise and beyond maybe. I know, so many colors, it's insane this rainbow array of morals like the coral reefs of old, so much so, that these moray eels rather prefer their muralled enclaves as the best for the whole coral reef system, to the death, good grief, ignoring the glaring hole of their whole mental prism they call home. Rather champion their standards, blind bastards, with their double standards and banters making even lib-tards pleasant like strawberry tarts! Technically, historically absolutist morality originally started in every birth and growth of empires/civilizations, to bind their peoples together some more, to bid farewell to older systems that don't work anymore to forward survival agendas way better than before, while keeping the pleasing aspects of those past systems be. So, what would it take, to make these moral nihilists wake up from their denial? Drag a fishing net, by a mile, for a while? Or maybe do a bit of sea mining? How would we develop from my/our morals to higher more inclusive morals? How many mourns of other morals do we need to suffer more? Until we survive the transformation of the globe, as our one true home? Or are we really alone? I don't know, so, we gotta shoulder on forward, warding off evil as we go.

I guess it's a stereotypical day for someone like me Without a nine-to-five job or an uni degree To be caught up in the trappings of the industry Show me the locked doors, I find another use for the key And you'll see I'm well aware of certain things that can destroy a man like me But with that said give me one more, higher Another one to take the sting away I am happy on my own, so here I'll stay Save your lovin' arms for a rainy day Matt jumped down the steps from his front door in one giant leap before turning into his wolf form and raced off to Maya and Wyatt's. He had a few different emotions churning around. On the one hand he was very happy to have had our morning together. I had taken the right initiative to maintain eye contact with him and to let him know that I loved him, and this made him feel special and energetically reinvigorated. On the other hand, he understood that I was in pain emotionally and didn't know what he could do to fix this for me beyond giving me the extra space that I asked for. He could see that my life was becoming a bit more resolved now that I had my memories back, but he wanted to see me happy and thriving and not stuck in the past. He was filled with a renewed sense of purpose at the prospect of returning to work, and stopped for a moment to let out a loud, passionate, "Awooooo!" of joy before continuing on his way to his friend's house, taking long graceful strides as he made his way through the neighborhood streets. When he got to Maya and Wyatt's he turned back into a man, quickly hopped up their steps and knocked on the door three times, with a wide eyed, eager expression plastered on his face. Wyatt answered moments later. "Matt! Hey buddy. It's a bit early in the week for hunting, what's up?" "Hey, can I come in? I wanted to have a chat with you, and, uh, maybe Maya if she's home..." Wyatt moved away from the door and indicated with his hand that it was okay to come in. Matt stepped inside and walked into their livingroom, which was filled with Maya's artwork depicting hunting scenes in golden calligraphy styled strokes and taxidermy busts of various light animals that Wyatt had commissioned. Their livingroom had the common dark red and mustard colour scheme that demons used and their couch and two brown chairs were covered in woven blankets and scattered with little decorative pillows. The floor was a dark wood and had a large hide from a light buffalo that rested in the middle of the room. There were pictures and canvases everywhere that held Maya's completed and incomplete works of art on them. The lighting of the room was very warm and the overall feel of the house gave off a comfortable, lived-in impression. "What do you want to talk about, man?" Wyatt asked. He noticed that his friend seemed to be in good spirits today. "You thirsty? Want anything to drink?" "No, I uh, I'm good." Matt made his way over to the couch and sat down in between a bunch of blankets and pillows, tossing some of them aside. "I wanted to let you know that I'm gunna take you up on your offer. I'd like to come back to work." Hearing this left Wyatt beaming. "Really? That's fantastic news, Matt." When Matt left the house, I decided to take the time to go over my life once more and to try to get used to my new body. I took the large framed mirror that he had on his dresser and propped it up on his bed, using one of the feather pillows to keep it steady. I took the other pillow and held it close to my chest for comfort and stared at my reflection in the mirror for a long time. Just a week ago I was a human being, a middle aged woman in an average looking body with an average looking face. Now I look like a teenager again and absolutely nothing like I used to. And yet Matt said this is the real me. The form taken each time in between my life and death cycles. I leaned in to inspect my face. No pores, no blackheads, not even a single wrinkle. My blonde hair was perfect. Shiny, with soft, bouncy curls. No body hair, flawless skin, a gazelle-like body, and a perfectly symmetrical angelic little face... "If I looked like this while I was alive I probably wouldn't have killed myself." I said jokingly. I had always wanted to be a beautiful woman and I missed my youth when I lost it, but now that I was sitting here in this new form, it felt very foreign to me. Like someone else was looking back from the mirror's reflection and it made me feel uneasy. "My name is Annie..." I reminded myself. "And I died. My name is Annie. And I died. My name is Annie. And I'm dead. Hello, new me..." I pressed my forehead to the mirror. "You will have to get used to seeing out of these eyes." I gripped the pillow tightly as a few stray tears escaped. I repeated some of what Matt had told me the night before. "You were born in Arizona. You had a mother, a father, a brother. You were sick. Very sick. If it wasn't from suicide, it would have been something else. You were lost. You had no choice. And now you're here, in a completely different world with people that you don't understand and you have a new boyfriend. And your soul is stuck within his. Forever. And he knows everything about you. Every embarrassing moment, every flaw, every insecurity. And he still loves you... you're loved. Isn't that weird?" Maya, upon hearing Matt's voice, came out of the couple's bedroom to greet him. "Is that Matt?" She was dressed in a white kimono and had braided her hair into spirals pinned on the sides of her head. She wore black lipstick and matching nail polish. "This is unexpected. So how did Annie enjoy our little trip last night?" She came over to sit next to him on the couch, moving some of the pillows to make a space for herself. "You know, I'm not sure. When I brought her home I told her about her past life and The Mother gave her all her memories back this morning. We uh, we had sex again and she popped up in my eye while we were going at it, you know?" Matt ran an anxious hand through his messy hair. "She, uh, she wants some space to work through it..." "Oh no..." Maya placed a hand over her mouth. "Is she okay?" "Yeah, she is doing better, but I'm sure I'll find out more when I get home, you know? I uh, I came here to discuss some things with you both." Matt continued. "He wants to come back to work!" Wyatt interrupted. "I can get you set up in a few days, man. You can start in the back and we'll move you up to management in a few months. If everything works out and you feel ready for it, then I'll hand everything back to you in six months tops. We'll get a contract ready. By the way, Sophia's the manager now, but I can relocate her to the Mington location. She isn't doing well with Broadview, I think there's too much traffic." "Fuck. Sophia's still working there?" Matt sniffed. Sophia was one of Matt's very first sexual encounters. She was a very beautiful demon woman with a tantalizingly perfect hourglass figure, but she had a terrible personality to go with it. She really liked the idea of cording with Matt, especially because of his wealth and social status within the city. When they tried to have sex he couldn't keep an erection and, feeling completely embarrassed about the whole ordeal, he decided to end the night early. She took it personally and told everyone who worked in the restaurant that he wasn't well endowed and that he would never make another woman happy, and often publicly degraded him to cope with her own irritation that nothing ever panned out between the two of them. Before Matt quit his job, he had admitted to a few colleagues that he had brought a human home and that he was caring for her. Violet. He mentioned that he was developing feelings for her. Upon hearing this, in a fit of jealous rage, Sophia spread rumours throughout the three restaurants that he had a fetish for "gutter rats". Matt was actually a very attractive prospect to a lot of demon women but not finding them sexually appealing, he rarely took notice and had a string of broken hearts that, for the most part, he was completely oblivious to. He knew that when he went back to work, she would give him hell for being in the position to eventually take over her job. "Fuck that bitch." He muttered under his breath. Wyatt chuckled. "I know Matt." Wyatt knew about Sophia's temperament. "It's going to be okay, man. It's just a few months with her." Matt looked at the ground and sucked on his upper fang in irritation. "Matt, I am so happy for you." Maya piped up. "What made you change your mind?" "Well... I have someone now. And I love her. So... I feel fucking good, you know, Maya?" The two of them smiled at one another. Despite being Wyatt's wife, Maya absolutely adored Matt and wanted to see him happy. Before she met Wyatt, she was very interested in Matt and they had gone on a date together but he didn't feel a connection so he introduced her to Wyatt, thinking that they would be a better match. And he was right. Weeks later, they had a cord between them. She was always trying to find ways to bring him out of his shell and to help him facilitate a connection with someone. After he had found a partner for her, she had wanted to return the favour. Hearing this news was music to her ears. "She's waiting at the house for me. So I don't wanna stay here too long. But I have a favour to ask of you." "What's that?" "My house isn't safe to leave a human alone in. Could I, uh, could I bring her by in the morning before I head to work to stay with you, Maya? I can't just leave her in my room all day. It won't be forever. It's just until I can figure something else out." "Matt, of course!" Maya exclaimed. "I can teach her about demon culture while you're away. We'll have a great time." "I don't like the idea of a human staying in my home..." Wyatt intervened. "But if it will get you back into the kitchen, then this is fine. Temporarily." He added. "Be sure to bathe before you come." "Thanks Wyatt." Matt reached out to shake his hand. "I appreciate this so much, you know? But I gotta get going now. I just wanted to discuss this with you both and see if we could all get on the same page." Matt stood up. "I'll see you in a few days to go hunting, man, and maybe we can write up that contract afterwards. Go over everything. And then you can set a date on when you want me to start. Sound good?" "Yes. And Matt? I have something I made yesterday. Light deer roasts with mingfruit jelly marinade. I want you to take some of this and share it with your human. We'll see who's the better cook now, man." Wyatt gave a cheeky smile and left to get the roasts. He returned a few minutes later with a bag that contained the wrapped up meat. Matt thanked them both graciously and left the house with the bag of food in his hands. Once outside, he put the bag handles in his mouth, transformed into a wolf and made his way back up the hill. I went over my life in great detail, contemplating and speaking out loud in the mirror to my renewed image. I thought about all of the spiritual awakenings that I had while alive and how they had left subtle clues for me that this would be my fate. I had always felt that there was someone meant for me, just outside of reach and somewhere beyond the constrains of my designated reality. I wanted to speak to The Mother and to thank her for what she had done for me. I addressed her directly, "Hi..." I said sheepishly, looking at my reflection. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I wanted to thank you for Matt. He's a really wonderful person and I am so glad to have him. I also wanted to thank you for giving me back my history..." I held tightly onto the pillow and gently rocked from side to side. I was feeling anxious to be communicating with her. "I don't think I could have managed here without my memories." "You have created a beautiful world. Your people are very lovely... I don't know much about their culture or their traditions, but their cities are stunning and their food is delicious. Everyone on Earth equates demons to being these evil monsters. I had no idea that they could be normal, loving and so understanding. Just like human beings can. If it weren't for Matt's eyes, I would forget that he is a demon and not a human! We are so similar in a lot of ways..." I continued. "This connection between us feels right. It feels natural and easy. I'm happy, and so grateful that you picked me out to be with your wonderful son. I just thought I should let you know that." I didn't know what else to say to her and decided to end it on that note. I curled up into Matt's red velvet blanket to take a long nap. I had been oversleeping a lot in this new world. A large part of it was due to the stress of these changes coming at me all at once. There was so much to take in and I didn't know how to process it without getting a lot of extra rest. When Matt got home, he quietly moved the mirror back onto his dresser and then went to the kitchen to cook the light deer for us to have for dinner. He let me sleep in peace for a few more hours until the early evening hit. He came back into the room with a dinner tray and gently woke me up, asking me to sit with him on the rooftop again. I agreed and we both curled up together to enjoy Wyatt's meal while watching the stars twinkle and the souls move through the band in the sky. Matt told me about the discussion he had with his friends and his plans for me. I let him know that I was coming to an active resolution with my history and passively mentioned to him that I thought he was the better cook. Upon hearing this news, he took my face into his hand and rubbed a soft thumb across my cheek. "Good girl..." Say, say, my playmate Won't you lay hands on me Mirror my malady Transfer my tragedy? Got a curse I cannot lift Shines when the sunset shifts When the moon is round and full Gotta bust that box, gotta gut that fish My mind's aflame We could jet in a stolen car But I bet we wouldn't get too far Before the transformation takes And blood lust tanks and Crave gets slaked My mind has changed My body's frame, but, God, I like it My heart's aflame My body's strained, but, God, I like it

Actually glad you mention Germany because they're who I was thinking about. Yes they're opening up coal right now but they're also taking huge steps to transition away: They've moved up their goal of 100% renewables to 2035: https://www.reuters.com/business/sustainable-business/germany-aims-get-100-energy-renewable-sources-by-2035-2022-02-28/ They've pledged 200 billion euros to transform their industry by 2026: https://www.reuters.com/business/sustainable-business/germany-has-earmarked-220-billion-industrial-transformation-by-2026-2022-03-06/ Also this nice article sums up a decent bit of what they're doing: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/article/how-the-ukraine-war-is-accelerating-germanys-renewable-energy-transition And this is Germany but this kind of thing is happening in a lot of places. The US has signed the Inflation Reduction Act which invests like 350 billion dollars into all sorts of things including wind, solar, storage, nuclear, and manufacturing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw5zzrOpo2s

Sorry for not responding and answering you shortly after in this thread, I was busy going out and making arrangements with some friends and going out and planning what I was going to do for the next exam term I have in September - that I took up my time the day before and yesterday - and I didn't want to write and answer you in the late evening and night hours here because I was unsure of what the exact difference in the timezone hourly gap is and the fact that I didn't want to bother you checking up message threads in the night hours, and also the fact that I felt a little bit too much exhausted and tired after those days to think and write long and in-depth Hope you can relate and understand! Interesting. I had a discussion with a friend the other day who is a bit of a know about, about this topic, about the context of relatively recent historical events in Iraqi politics, and he told me if I understood correctly that this al-Sadr guy had acquired a religious status of an ayatollah himself in the context of the Shiite faith if that is true from religiological and factographic perspective and not a false assumption and claim, and implicit backing of Iran up until a point. He also told me that because of the relative power vacuum leftover by the devastation of the Islamic State (ISIS) in Iraq and the role of Iranian Quds Revolutionary Guard Special Forces in militarily defeating it and dismantling it, that as a result of the aftermath of that, Iran has, and the overall type of its Shiite-dominated religious cleric government there, garnered a relatively very popular and favorable status among the Shiite population of Iraq, to the point that Iranian Revolutionary Guard regular and special forces are allowed and almost implicitly understood in an informal agreement, between them and the populace and their religious militia there, to be able to almost pass virtually unchallenged, unrestrictedly and without a bat of an eye through the borders of Shiite religious regions of Iraq going straight through them then into Syria and Lebanon if they so wish, with some minimum border checks and regulations there between Iraq and Iran in those said regions. So it seems like at a cursory glance at what you explained to me and wrote that that al-Sadr guy maybe is in some ways possibly more deeply connected and in touch with the religious power structures currently residing in Iran and maybe using them as a sort of legitimization tool and conduit for garnering approval and support for his Shiite follower base in Iraq, if I am not too mistaken to assume and speculate that, albeit without any solid proof or evidence from my side still backing that claim, on a relatively still flimsy and loose connection and hypothesis. Perhaps he was just testing the waters for his support among the Iraqi Shiite population overall with that call to that armed uprising brief attempt and stunt of his and to maybe see how far willing is Iran also ready to go to possibly back him and support him. Maybe the storming government and officials building's stunt was an attempt at a show of loyalty to Iran? Possibly? Maybe? Perhaps? And also to send a clear message maybe to his rivals among his Shiite support base in Iraq of how much influence and support he really has among them and to whom they are willing enough to truly support, back, and make daring stunts and attempts for, through a show of a general call to an uprising among that part of the population. But if the oil flow export continuity is the sine qua non for the stability generally for the mutual respect for plurality and degrees of tolerance and mutual co-operative co-existence of Iraqi politics, as you say, I don't think, IMO, just shared concerns and economic survival interests alone of continuing to reap the benefits indefinitely, and without a further plan for future economic transformation, transition and also further re-organization and re-structuring, of that type of that raw material and natural resources export-heavy and intensive dependent economy can be the only predictable binding factor there if there are sudden eruptions and disruptions in the world market for that, not indefinite guarantee for stability there to be suddenly pulled like a rug underneath the stability for the whole political scene there if some massive changes and transitions happen in the meantime on the world demand market or some massive world economic organization crisis erupts in the years to come. But hopefully, it doesn't soon and the worst possible imagined outcomes don't come to pass, and some people like yourself still have plenty enough time left in the meantime to keep their options open for elsewhere, for temporary residency or migration in the world for example, until things would stabilize themselves there and truly transform the diverse, and often at conflicting interests odds, society there and solidify for good, to make Iraq a very wanted and sought after destination and a prosperous region like some other states in the Middle East. Hopefully, I wish for that to come to pass as soon as possible rather than later for you as well!

There are many good excerpts. I just picked the first one under each term. Quotes about Enlightenment https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/enlightenment Different Conceptualizations of Enlightenment Actually, there is no universal or agreed upon definition, or even understanding, of the concept of enlightenment. Different traditions use the word differently. Different teachers refer to different realities when they use it. And most people have not the vaguest idea what they are talking about when referring to enlightenment. Sometimes enlightenment means the attainment of a certain stage of Being. Sometimes it refers to a certain insight, perception or understanding. Sometimes it refers to a certain stage of inner development, usually the final stage, which becomes problematic since different traditions take different conditions to be the final stage. Sometimes it signifies the transcendence of ego, other times the death of ego, still other times the transformation of ego... The concept can be useful only in a teaching that defines it very specifically. But we cannot use the concept assuming it means the same thing in all teachings or traditions. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 182 Quotes about Awakening https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/awakening Appropriating the Capacities of True Nature Thinking that realization happens because “I am stepping aside” is the same thing as thinking that realization happens because “I am meditating.” Both positions take awakening and illumination to be a result of something we are doing. This becomes problematic because it prevents reality from revealing the fact that true nature is always the illuminator. It is the light that illuminates. It is the awareness that discerns. It is the knowledge that knows. The self or the individual or the practitioner doesn’t have these powers, doesn’t have these capacities. And when we use the ordinary style of language—where the subject doing the action is always an “I” or a self—we are appropriating the capacities of true nature. As I said, from the nonhierarchical view, we see that reality does appear this way sometimes, but if we assume that this is the only way that reality is, we limit our experience of reality and miss all kinds of freedom and fun. The Alchemy of Freedom, pg. 92

Most humans are only capable of doing the best they can to defend themselves and reduce harm overall which is their right to do. But most humans are not suited for or capable of the task of delivering "real justice": Real justice is “served” through being made fully aware of what has occurred and the consequences of one’s actions exposed, through the internal realizations and radical transformation in consciousness that may occur from within the doer and everyone around by the “grace of God”, through cutting through falsehood and moving toward Truth, through a rebirth in consciousness. "Real justice" leads everyone closer to God.

@Tyler Robinson yeah sometimes i chug a glass before meditation and it kin of helps. But I'm thinking this is some kind of emotional/spiritual thing as I'm going though quite a big inner transformation.

It's incredible how well-written this show is. There is nothing like it and there never will be anything to equal it. To create a show like The Sopranos you first have to create a human being like David Chase, and I doubt the world of television will ever see that kind of genius again. I think the character of Tony Soprano is even better than Walter White. This is my favorite scene: Very subtle. Beautifully shot. Great performance by James Gandolfini. And I love that song. I think it's the relationship between Tony and Dr. Melfi that made this show special: I love Melfi. She is mature, intelligent, and classy. Robert McKee analyzed Walter White to be more dimensional than Tony, but I like Tony more than Walter, because he's a more plausible character. Walter's transformation is fascinating but unrealistic. Breaking Bad is a thrilling ride, but, in my opinion, there's more emotion in The Sopranos. At least in the long-run. David Chase sacrifices short-term pleasures for long-term satisfaction.

Imagine if there was some sort of healing centre you could go to for emotional issues where all it consisted of was you getting showered with God’s unconditional love, and the love was so deep and so profound that it healed you completely, and that was all you ever needed. I want to aim to create the next best thing with my work. I want any healing processes and techniques I create to be deeply rooted in existential love, and to ultimately just be a way of showering yourself with love in the places you need it. Love is really the only thing you need for any kind of healing, it's just a matter of giving it to yourself in the places you need it so that it touches you deep enough to actually create real transformation. A lot of healing techniques are already based on being loving and compassionate towards yourself but the love doesn't touch you as deeply as it needs to. That's what I'm going to figure out how to do.

The ego is merely the personification of our sense of self and it bases it's identity on the past experience of the being it exists within. As we accumulate more experience it gradually changes, it's impermanent in it's identity even as it strives for stable coherence in it's sense of self. This is how through the present moment, through our current experience, we can participate in the transformation of our ego's sense of self because we can orchestrate our experience. We can nudge the ego into identifying with what we place our attention on so cultivate it's growth. If we are in presence of peace, fulfillment and yes love, the ego will eventually identify with that presence we have in awareness. It will reflect this as it's self identity and in this harmony of well being the cessation of self suffering will be realized in our experience of 'mind'. Creating a dynamic of enmity with ego only perpetuates the conflict within us and further feeds the disharmony of ill being which fuels the self suffering. So if one seeks liberation from self suffering choose in every moment to be at peace with the ego even if we seek to liberate it too from suffering.

I see the legalization/mainstream use of psychedelics as being a pre-requisite for spirituality to become mainstream. As it stands right now, the amount of work required for meditation to become spiritual to those locked in mainstream paradigms is too large, requires too much questioning. Psychedelics will begin forcing the larger population to question everything though. In fact, if spirituality does not become mainstream in some capacity, I personally do not think humanity can face the many mounting existential threats. And I view psychedelics as a sort of white night capable of helping facilitate a radical, perhaps exponential internal and collective transformation needed to face these threats. So many moving pieces!