Search the Community

I don't have experience with 1D-LSD but i do have quite a bit experience with 1P-LSD. Looking up 1D it seems to be one that takes longest to feel any effects. But they both are prodrugs who convert to LSD-25. But the experience i had or simply profound. I cannot explain in words what i experienced. But my last time was pure bliss! i started with 150UG (i already had some experience with truffles on different dosages but still rather low dosages. So i kinda knew how a psychedelic trip could feel.) and the most highest dose i took was 300ug. Which to me is absolutely nuts. I don't see any point in going further. Since i already experienced what egodeath is on that dose. The only "downside" is that the trip takes forever. Which is kinda cool but makes it also a bit hard to just do it. (Allthough i have to say that my last time was in my holiday and i was like 'fck it, lets do it.. 300ug here we go. And it was my best trip yet.) But it goes on way longer than the shrooms/truffles. What i usually do is plan the trip. Mostly doing it on weekends and if my mindset is neutral to good. If i'm in a bad mood i'm not going to trip. I create a good playlist with tripfriendly music or i'm not using music at all. That can be quite profound to as you hallucinate alot of auditory things too. Have some healthy snacks and drinks ready too. you'll get thirsty ! And don't drink alcohol or smoke weed! Go at it with just the lsd. The other substance will only corrupt or ruin the trip. And don't forget start low! you already seem quite cautious which is good. You could for example start with 100ug. And have someone you can trust and who'd be able to be a good tripsitter. Trippling alone is fun too. But not for your first few times. Get to know the substance first!

I don't enjoy conflict, but I can't take it anymore. All the high value material Leo used to create is gone, I don't even know what he is doing now, sitting around and preaching about alien hell and how no-one is awake. Do you really think HE has figured it all out? It's fucking absurd. There are people with much higher wisdom and consciousness, who have embodied this stuff. I can rant on and on about him, but it's pointless, but i just want to fire off a warning to you guys with his course coming up and all, be careful. It's dangerous shit. Many people are going to go insane from this and he won't bat a single eye about it. He doesn't give a fuck, truly. It never fucking ends with him, it's always something new, you're going to be 75 years old reading about how he reached STARLIGHT Consciousness and no one is AAWWAAKKEEE, can't you see that, this is never going to end. This is abusive and insane. I have found great teachers in my life who i will stick with, they never act immature and have opened me to levels of self love bliss and purpose i never imagined. And it's a REALITY, I walk around with these insights, it's not just a trip that comes and goes, it's embodied. I can apply it to all areas of life. My daily human life has become the beautiful trip into infinity. It's not all about awakening! Maybe the biggest awakening is being compleetely blissed out in the ordinary and seeing God in all. This channel has been foundational in my spiritual journey, for that i am thankful, and i will still watch the old videos because they are gold, but it's done. I can't do this anymore, I really tried to give Leo benefit of the doubt and a chance, but its just too much. Have you noticed that all the legit practicioners are gone? Who is left here, really? What have you guys actually accomplished? Do you have financial freedom? Fun friends? Loving family? How is your emotions day to day, NOT when you're fucking high? How are your habits? How authentic are you? Confidence? How connected are you to people, or do you sit back and judge them for being monkeys and rats? Be honest with yourself and see how far you have really come. Are you still a loser? Be honest. Are you a loser? My goal is to embody God in the everyday, the mundane, and this is no longer the place for that. That's the problem with psychedelics and shit, you're never satisfied with the simple, there is a reason you as God came into THIS experience. Anyway, for those of you this resonates with, my advice to you is to find a LEGIT spiritual school and community, it will change everything. Even if online, go do some retreats, feel the energy of these places, it's amazing. Escape this place while you can, escape Leos grip. Best of luck, Im out of here, -BlessedLion

The Bliss some of us we are talking here, is not within the mental/psychological process. What most people understand as happiness is still Maya and suffering, positive thoughts, excitement, peacefulness. That's great and I wish most of the world would be in that. But still, I just want to reiterate, those are still mental states. That is not Bliss.

@Bazooka Jesus Notice that in a 'high state', there is no such a thing as a thought or mental understanding of "I'm in a high state, I'm enjoying this because I can compare it to a low state such as being miserable or stressed!". No! It just instantly feels good! And if you would reside in the high state for 50 years straight, it would still feel good. Because the state has nothing to do with thoughts or memory, The reason a 'High state' feels good, is because energetically is more close to Who you Are, than a low state. Here's a fact, if you stop experiencing your physical body, I can guarantee you it will feel like the best orgasm in the world. It feels like that because Who You Are is not the body, so when it experiences that freedom from bondage, it automatically feels Fucking Awesome. If it wasn't because I know you guys have done psychedelics, I would say you guys that reject Bliss have never ever touch actual Bliss. If not you would not be saying such a things. Overall, what I'm trying to say is that Bliss, Love, Ecstasy, you name it, does not happen in the mind or in the psychological process, this means, is not bound to rules of memory or comparison. Bliss will always feel bliss. Because is not something of the mind or Thought. Is a state that "resembles" or mimics Who You Are: Freedom, Boundlessness, Explosion, Ilimitation.

It was nothing new; it was a deepening and more interconnected knowledge of my previous discoveries. All is consciousness sure, but how interconnected is your consciousness? All is imaginary sure, but are you aware of how you are doing that? So I became conscious of the infinite narratives that I was spawning behind each moment to explain the present experience that was happening. I had this insight before, but the definition and understanding of how this process is unfolding up to its microscopic level really recontextualizes everything. I also felt metaphysical love which is very different from emotions, I would explain it as an embracement of what is, but I really don't have that much of experience to articulate it well. It was not ecstasy or bliss; it was just abstract love independent of the content, so the love could not be another content. Probably the most shocking understanding was about awakening, understanding what that word means or points to. It felt like all my life I had been severely drunk and now I finally had sobered up from that confusion. It felt a lot like that, it's a really accurate description. Extra points for Malt: The afterglow is gorgeous. My mind has been able to lock and make permanent some of the features of the trip. My mind's stability has been improved significantly, I don't know if this will be temporary or it will go away, but it feels that some of it will definitely stay. Yes you are right scientifically speaking it's very safe in this regard. However, in subjective experience it's opening another can of worms. Don't you feel overwhelmed and exhausted after 8h of intense sensory amplification? At least I do.

Buddha said, “One should not kill a living being, nor cause it to be killed, nor should one incite another to kill. Do not injure any being, either strong or weak, in the world.” Buddha asks, “All beings tremble before violence. All fear death, all love life. See yourself in others. Run to the rescue with love and peace will follow ~River Phoenex~ ***Warning*** some graphic content at some points of the video that are possibly disturbing. I believe such footage should be brought to the light rather than ignored, for the victims involved. This is related to Self Actualization and belongs in this sub section of the forum, please dont merely move this to the diet section. This relates to mind, beliefs, assumptions, survival and everything to do with compassion.

It doesn't work like that. The clarity, happiness, love and bliss you had before is still within you. It is metaphysically impossible for it to go elsewhere. It's more so that you "gained" more inner noise. Not that you lost anything.

Exactly. ? That's why I am saying that 24/7 bliss stops being (experienced as) bliss. We need the interplay of light and darkness in order to be able to experience anything at all.

There is some truth to what you are saying . It's in retrospect that we realise sleep is the best state . But the complete absence of all qualia cannot be called anything other than pure consciousness or pure bliss with zero interruption. Isn't Buddha mind or no mind what's traditional Buddhism teach? So awakening to the Buddha means the cessation of all mental activity. Even in meditation you can't achieve that . But you can achieve it perfectly in deep sleep . And trust me ..too much consciousness is a curse. Thank god that we are not aware of subtle things like the sounds of ants when they argue about who gets to eat the sugar tonight lol ? ??

Sorry, I meant the highest level of good life and bliss. Not christianity. My bad.

We have all seen some forms of spirituality where the gurus actively deny the thinking is somehow anti spiritual or you should just quiet your mind to have a more holistic view of reality. Even I entertained this idea for long that had been a huge cockblock in my enlightenment journey. Just take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of this claim 1) You claim that Truth cannot be communicated, but only experienced. 2) You are making a Truth claim. 3) You are communicating what you think is true. 4) You had to think to arrive at this conclusion, only for you to say that thinking is a-spiritual. Even religious dudes do not hold this level of contradiction in a single sentence. Even Sadhguru says you should merely let your mind come up with thoughts, but you could sit there in bliss while disidentifying from the chatter of the mind as a whole. This is totally unnecessary even if you want to avoid suffering. It is totally okay to identify with the mind, when you realize that everything is God and it is literally the imagination of God. It is so Freking obvious, yet I wasted a lot of time entertaining this stupid idea that you cannot describe or communicate Truth via language. To being with, you could never communicate anything with language. Language is merely ink on paper or pixels on a screen. Words are nothing but pointers. If you can have pointers to calculus and poems, of course you can have pointers to absolute or relative Truth or whatever you are dealing with. If thinking makes your life better or closer to god, then maybe God did intend you to think about God. It was you who thought of God's creating as a bug and not as a splendidly useful tool for creativity and imagination.

Exactly. My question had a trick... It depends when you draw the line. If you guys want infinity so much (the other "minor" limited pleasures are not of interest for you), then you guys should have gone to a cave or an ashram already. Yet, you guys are here, in the material game. Why? Having said that, is not even fair that you guys reduce everything to your infinity experiences and everything else. Some of you guys think that you have seen it all with psychedelic peaks. And indeed I could say that if one could resign from material life, probably what a psychedelic or 5-meo peak offers is the best peak. But if still playing in the material game, then there are states of consciousness to be really at ease and at peace *while playing the material game. So my question is, why rejecting this. At the end of the day, 99% of humanity is seeking this states, just in unconscious ways: sex, smoking, speeding the bike at 200km/h, etc... So unless you guys are special, or you guys are bullshitting in some way... What is the biker seeking throttling to 250km/h? The same the monk is seeking! Total intensity, time collapses, dissolution of body. There might not be a conscious recognition like in a 5-Meo trip, but the seeking of breaking the bondage is there. Everyone is going after it. There is a WHOLE universe of states between sober lame anxious state of consciousness Vs Peak Infinity total liberation. If still playing the material game and not wanting to go to a cave yet, you might as well know how to bliss yourself while doing normal stuff. (But not speeding, that would be also an unconscious way)

Yes. And when there are ever more Awakenings n+1, the real Awakening/Full Enlightenment hasn't happen yet. And this is a very beautiful and very true statement. That love/bliss/compassion is what stabilizes the shift into ones True Being. And where there is not much love/bliss/compassion... Water by the River

No , this is a beleif that Leo has instilled in you. The point is to become sane, grounded and clear. Is Ralston, Spira, Ramana, and Eckhart insane? Do they act insane? They are probably the sanest people alive. The insane ones are you guys, it's sad, but Leo has completely lost himself in this bitterness. He's fucking gone. And anyone who follows this is going to be as well. I'm lucky to have grounded people in my life and REAL teachers who actually give a fuck about my health and progress that if it weren't for them, i'd probably get lost in this shit. Leo is gaslighting and deluding everyone to believe he is the KEY, only he has the true answer. Classic Cult behavior. Change peoples view of reality and block out all the competition, make yourself the sole gatekeeper of the truth. His old stuff is good but somewhere along the way he completely lost it. I don't want alien insanity, i want to enjoy my human life, to have loving relationships, bliss out in nature and enjoy time with community. This isn't the place for real spiritual aspirants, good luck to you all

Meaning of the mantra song Har Har Har Shambhu Shiv Mahadeva Main verse Har-Har Shambhu (Shambhu), Shambhu (Shambhu), Shiva Mahadeva Shambhu (Shambhu), Shambhu (Shambhu), Shiva Mahadeva Har-Har Shambhu (Shambhu), Shambhu (Shambhu), Shiva Mahadeva Shambhu (Shambhu), Shambhu (Shambhu). Shiva Mahadeva Meaning of main verse - Har Har is a salutation like "Hail." Shambhu and Mahadeva are alternate names of Lord Shiva. Verse 1 Karpura Gauram Karunavataram Sansarsaram Bhujagendraharam Karpura Gauram Karunavataram Sansarsaram Bhujagendraharam Meaning of the verse 1 - White As Camphor, Incarnation Of Compassion, The Essence Of The World, The Necklace Of The Lord Of Serpents. White As Camphor, Incarnation Of Compassion, The Essence Of The World, The one who wears the snake as a necklace. (the snake necklace is called vasuki). Karpura gauram– The divine one, who is white as Camphor / pure as camphor. Karpura/Karpur is camphor. Lord Shiva is described as "white as camphor" which is implied as "as white as snow/camphor, as pure as snow," white denoting purity. karunavataram– who is an embodiment of solicitude and compassion sansarsaram– The true spirit of the universe bhujagendraharam– The one who draped the serpent around his neck, the one who wears the snake (as a) necklace. Meaning of the verse 1 Oh Shiva, you're divine, White as camphor. You're the incarnation of compassion. You're the essence of the world, the ruler of the world. You're the one who wears a snake as a necklace. Verse 2 Sadavasantham Hridayaravinde Bhavam Bhavanisahitam Namami Sadavasantham Hridayaravinde Bhavam Bhavanisahitam Namami Meaning of verse 2 - You (Shiva) are the one who always resides in the lotus of my heart. I bow to you my lord Shiva and your wife Bhavani (reference to Paravati wife of Shiva) Sadavasantam : Always residing. Hridaya arvinde: In the lotus of the heart. Bhavam Bhavani: Oh Lord and Goddess (Sati: wife of Shiva) Sahitam Namami: I bow to you both. Context - Who is Goddess Bhavani? She is an aspect of Parvati the wife of Shiva, and she is considered to be a mother, who provides well for her devotees as well as playing the role of dispensing justice by killing Asuras or demons. sadavasantam hridayaravinde– one who resides in the heart that is pure as lotus (though lotus is born in mud, it stays untouched by the mud). In the heart that is untouched by worldly matters. bhavam bhavanisahitam namami– I bow to Lord Shiva and his companion/consort Goddess Bhavani (Goddess Parvati’s form). Meaning of complete verse 1 and 2 - Lord Shiva, who dwells in my heart along with Mata(mother) Bhawani, one who is white as camphor, one who is the manifestation of compassion, one who is the essence of the universe, and who wears the king of the snakes (Vasuki) as his necklace, I bow down to you. Verse 3 Saananda Maananda Dhabane Vasantham Ananda Kandam Hrita Paapa Brindam Saananda Maananda Dhabane Vasantham Ananda Kandam Hrita Paapa Brindam Meaning of verse 3 - Sananda Maananda Dhabane - in the Sananda Maananda Dhabane Vasantham - bliss and joy in the spring of the forest Ananda Kandam - the stalk (the stalk of a flower) Hrita Paapa Brindam - you're the ultimate destroyer of a host of sins The joyful tuber growing in the forest of joyful joy Lord Shankar(Shankar is another name for Shiva), who resides blissfully in the region of Anandavan (Anandavan is in Kashi, a holy place) who is the source and root cause of bliss, and who is the destroyer of sins. I go to the shelter of Shri Vishwanath, the lord of Kashi the lord of such orphans. The lord of Kashi is Shiva. Shri Viswanath is Shiva. You're the joyful tuber growing in the forest Meaning of - Sananda Maananda Dhabane Basantam Ananda Kandam You're the joyful tuber growing in the forest You're the joy in the spring Hrita Paapa Brindam - you're the ultimate destroyer of a host of sins Meaning and context - Sananda Maananda - bliss joy Dhabane Vasantham - forest and spring Vasantham - spring Ananda - joy Kandam - stalk of a flower Brindam - a host or collection Hrita - the ultimate, the king Paapa - sin/sins Meaning of the verse 3 - Shiva, You're the joyful tuber growing in the forest You're the joy in the spring. You're the stalk or the source of bliss. you're the ultimate destroyer of a host of sins Verse 4 Varanashi Naatham Mu-m Mu-m Natham Shri Viswanatham Saranam Prapadye Varanashi Naatham Mu-m Mu-m Natham Shri Viswanatham Saranam Prapadye Meaning of the verse 4 - I Take Refuge In The Lord Of Varanasi, Sri Vishwanath(another name of Shiva) The Lord Of The Orphans, The Lord Of The Universe Context - Varansi is a holy place of pilgrimage for Lord Shiva. He is the savior. He is the lord of the orphans. He is the lord of the universe. saranam prapadye—I take shelter of. Meaning of Saranam or Sharanam - take shelter or refuge under someone's wings. Meaning of prapadye - to surrender. I take refuge in Varanasinath, the lord of the orphan, Sri Vishwanath. Har-Har Shambhu (Shambhu). Nath means lord/savior/master. Varanasinath means the lord of Varanasi(in the region of Anandavan, Kashi) and that lord is Shiva. Meaning and context of verse 4 - You're the lord of Varanasi. You're the lord of Kashi (Kashi is another holy land like Varanasi). You're the lord of orphans. You're the Vishwanath, the lord of the world. (Vishwa meaning world and Nath meaning lord). (Mu-m Mu-m added as a sound for poetic effect and rhyme.) Verse 5 Avantikayam Vihitavatarang Muktipradanaya Cha Sajjannaam Avantikayam Vihitavatarang Muktipradanaya Cha Sajjannaam Verse 6 Akaalmrityu Parirakshanartham Vande Mahakaalam Mahasuresham Akaalmrityu Parirakshanartham Vande Mahakaalam Mahasuresham (verse 5 taken from Shiv Mantra Avankiyaan) Meaning of both verses - Lord Shankar(another name for Shiva), who has incarnated in Avantikapuri Ujjain to provide salvation to the sages, I bow to Mahadev ji, who is also known as Mahakal, the God of those gods to save them from untimely death.) Abantikayam Vihitavatarang- Incaranated form in Avantikapuri (Avantikapuri an ancient place in the holy city of Ujjain in the central state of Madhya Pradesh where Lord Shiva is called Mahakal/Mahadev Maha - big, great, glorious Dev - God Kal/Kaal - Time Kaala - black Mahadev - the one who is a great God Mahakal - the one who can control time and is timeless himself. Muktipradanaya - the one who liberates Cha Sajjannaam - the sages Akaalmrityu - premature death Akaal - premature, mrityu - death Parirakshanrtham - the protector and preventer Vande - a sanskrit salute similar to "Hail", "Shri/Shree", "Jai", "Jai Shree" Mahakaalam - Sanskrit for Mahakal or Shiva Vande Mahakaalam - sanskrit version of the phrase "Jai Shri Mahakal" Mahasuresham - the ultimate God of all Gods or suras. Gods were called suras in Sanskrit. Context - Avanti/Avantika actually means Ujjain. Because Ujjain was previously known as Avanti or Avantikapuri. Avanti also means modest in Sanskrit. Lord Shiva incarnated as Mahakal in the city of Avanti now called Ujjain. And provided liberation and Moksha to the saints and sages in that region. They were about to die. Shiva as Mahakal protected them from premature death. Verse 7 Nagendra Haraya Trilochanaya, Basmanga Ragaya Maheswaraya Nagendra Haraya Trilochanaya, Basmanga Ragaya Maheswaraya Verse 8 Nithyaya Shudhaya Digambaraya, Tasmai ‘Na’karaya Namahshivaya Nithyaya Shudhaya Digambaraya, Tasmai ‘Na’karaya Namahshivaya (verse 7 and 8 taken from Shiva Panchakshara Stotram) Meaning of verse 7 and 8- The one who wears a snake as a necklace, he is also the three-eyed God. (3 eyes means 2 eyes and third eye which is the portal to wisdom and psychic powers.) He is none other than Shiva. The one who applies holy ash all over his body, the greatest god (Maheshwara). He is none other than Shiva. The one who is eternal. He is none other than Shiva. The one who is pure. He is none other than Shiva. Who only wears directions as his clothes (Digambara). He is none other than Shiva. Salutations to Lord Shiva who is represented by syllable NA in Namah Shivaya. I salute you Shiva in reverence. Nagendra - seshnag, king of the serpents. Seshnag/Sheshnag is a snake from folklore with multiple heads. Haraya - the necklace Trilochanaya - the one who has three eyes (two eyes and the third eye considered the eye of wisdom) Basmanga - bhasma or ash Ragaya - the one who rubs Maheswaraya - the one who rubs ashes all over his body. This ash is holy ash. Nithyaya - the one who is eternal Shudhaya - the one who is the purest cleanest Digambaraya - Who is pure, forever, and wears directions as his clothes Tasmai - unto him Na’karaya - this can have two meanings. First - who is represented by syllable NA in Namah Shivaya Second - the one whose form is shapeless Namashivaya - I salute you Shiva This salutation to Shiva has 5 letters of the 5 elements. In Sanskrit these five letters correspond to these 5 elements Na - earth Ma - water Shi - fire Va- air Ya - ether Meaning of complete verse 7 and 8- The one who has snakes acting as his ornaments, the three-eyed god The one who applies holy ash all over his body, the greatest god (Maheshwara) Who is pure, forever, and wears directions as his clothes (Digambara) Salutations to Lord Shiva who is represented by syllable NA in Namah Shivaya Who is forever, Who is the cleanest, And who wears the directions themselves as dress. He is Shiva. End

Keep doing as mentioned below and in a process you will feel joyful, blissful and ultimately become enlightened and attain moksh Being purified by his intelligence and controlling the mind with determination giving up the objects of sense gratification being freed from attachment and hatred one who lives in a secluded place who eats little who controls his body mind and power of speech who is always in trance who is detached, free from false ego, false strength, false pride, lust, anger, and acceptance of material things, free from false proprietorship, and peaceful —such a person is certainly elevated to the highest position and remains in Bliss, Paramanand forever. Once you do above in totality, in a process you suddenly start feeling joy within which keeps growing for longer and longer time. From here everything happens automatically and you remain in Bliss.

Why do I have such a hard time surrendering the dream? Its literally the most blissful thing, to just let go all beliefs, thought stories, and just surrender to the empty eternal orgasm I am in, for ever. If one inspects, this is what one seeks for all of his life. To get the mind to a such a point, there is just this safety..this bliss, this Me...alone, for ever, absolutely Complete. Any kind of outside or difference would break this love. Even saying 'other beings' are me, already is not complete. I Surrender that too. I am Alone in my dream, completely Complete, in my eternal Throne of infinite imagination. ?

It has been a lot of time now, since I have discontinued from this forum. Leo's teaching has influenced me a lot in every phase of my life since I have started following him first time around 2015. After more than a year just watching his different videos which had the knowledge and deep understanding of about almost everything.. I have started being a part of this forum. Whenever I had time, I used to very curiously read the new posts in almost all sections of the forum and read the answers Leo gives or any other person. Being an introvert initially, I was not good at expressing myself and it was more about following the content and listening to different voices. At one point of time, it felt like I was following him too much that I was saying the same words that Leo says in his videos.. And It was just too much so gradually I found other great masters to listen to, and that also gave me a new perspective of Leo's work, Now I could see deeper layer of his work. I started writing my journal of this forum and made a lot of posts there, I was trying to express intense emotions I felt while on meditations. One day I found a person who felt like my own part in a feminine body and It has never been boring with her since then. After she came to my life, everything has been completely transformed.. Who I was then and who I am now is complete different, She has grown me not just spiritually but also helped me push through scores of barriers in my emotional and material growth. I really thought this forum to be not useful for me anymore, so I discontinues. I also had to learn through experience about my orange and green phase of spiral dynamics. At that time I strongly associated myself with orange values and since most people on this forum seems like green stage, got into conflicts with me just for the ideology and ego. I also had a lot of ego. I had a little spur of enlightenment before her, but now I constantly live in an enlightened flow experience. I constantly get out of these experiences, yet again find it soon, It's like i know that place of nothingness, where I can rest in calm of solitude, or sometimes even remain alert in the crowded noises. Everything feels so new and a lucid sense of experience starts to touch you, where you feel completely accomplished, and there is complete bliss. But even after seated in such an experience, My mind still returns to its castle and still sometimes can demand like a child, my mind certainly has not been a very disciplined one. Sooner or later it starts to feel pain for desiring one thing or another, things that it has experienced and which were more addictive to any drugs. When you are experiencing bliss at all times, when you pursue a new pleasure, it also mixes in this bliss, making this intensely more pleasing and addictive. that's why it become harder and harder for an enlightened person to push their boundaries. Everything starts giving a new experience, body has a different kind of energy and mind has already found its most natural state of bliss.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It may be traumatizing because it's sudden. I hope your mother had a good life. I hope she didn't suffer in her last days. She loved, she loves you and will always love you. I know that you watched Leo's video about death. It can be comforting to know that their consciousness is still here, she didn't go. And that they are in such peace and bliss and love. They don't suffer, they are in a state of ultimate joy. On the other hand, this knowledge doesn't help emotionally. You lost someone, someone important, you lost your relationship with your mother, in the way you know it your entire life. You still have a relationship with her, you will always be her daughter and she is your mother, it just would be different. You may feel broken, you may feel like an emotional mess. Or you may feel nothing, especially at the beginning. My best advice is to take the time to grieve and mourn. Don't expect yourself to function immediately. Of course you can, if you want, but know that you don't have to. Society have a very limited perspective on grieving, it's almost being demonized. Both in the modern capitalistic and spiritual cycles. People encourage people to bypass grieving, as if there is something strong or noble in bypassing the natural feelings of grieving. Probobly because people fear death. But it cannot be bypassed and shouldn't. Most comments that grievers hear appeal to the intellect and suppress the expression of feelings. Comments like:"move on" "Don't feel bad" "Just give it time" "Be strong for others" or "stop crying, she wouldn't want to see you cry if she was alive" Or expect grievers to act recovered and function like normal, to keep it busy. This book is very recommend for dealing with the grieving process. It's very educative. It helped me a lot when I lost my dog. It's helpful that you have siblings to support each other, that you are not alone with this and you have someone to talk about it with great understanding. I send you strength. I send you my love and support. I wish you full recovery. Please be gentle with yourself. Please take your time. ❤️?

Sorry for the rant below, but i want to provide as much clarity and nuance as I can. So back in Feburary i had a peak experience on LSD, where it felt like there was a mass of tension in my head that was dissolved(for lack of a better term). I had done LSD before and never came close to this kind of experience. After the tension fully released, it felt like the top of my head literally opened up, and after that i felt a weird substance flow through my body. This led to the peak where i felt bliss flowing through my body, and surge of confidence, euphoria etc. Since then i've done a handful of trips, some of which i've gotten close to a similar release, but never quite to that degree. It's always the same pattern though, there's this tension in my head/face and the degree to which i can relieve it is the degree to which i break through into higher tier feeling and being. Even now while i'm sober(Not fully sober i'm on welbutrin (an amphetmaine anti-depressant that actually helps relieve the tension in my head a tiny amount), i can feel that same tension in my head, and when i meditate and breathe there is some kind of release, but nowhere near the point where i can fully release it and let it go. It also is related to my breathing, i've noticed for a while that i had some trouble breathing, and was constantly having sinus problems and nose bleeds. But when the tension release it feels like there's a mass of tension around my nose that is also released and my breathing clears up. I also noticed that I was able to more fully feel tension points in my body, and it was like I was more in tune and inside my body. I also noticed increase in coordination during these breakthrough trips (I'd say i'm mildy autistic given some coordination problems, and repetitive habits etc) So... a few concerns and thoughts I have on this situation are as follows: 1. I am chasing this peak or high, i've been doing this basically since the experience happened. I feel that same tension/pressure in my head while sober, and it feels like there is a block there. On the one hand it feels like i'm just chasing a high and this is just a dead end of self defeating behavior. On the other hand, there's clearly something to this knot and tension located in my head that is affecting me some major ways... it feels like my head is contracted( like much of my body) and for whatever reason the LSD opens the mind/head right up. 2. How do i resolve this conflict? On the one hand, i'm a drug addict chasing an LSD high. On the other hand, there's a contraction in my body (the head) and seeking a way to release the contract is a wise move. I'm a stiff person, i have a ton of tension in my shoulders, back, head etc but i wonder if the release of bliss and sort of astral body i get from releasing the knot in the head is normal? 3. The knot is also influenced by meditation and breathing. I've noticed that the few peak experiences I had, when i would breathe into the knot it would help loosen it up and facilitate the release. I've also noticed that when i used the zgochen technique of becoming aware of the experience of being aware, or turning attention towards it self, it has a big effect on the knot.

What are your top lessons when it comes to psychedelics? Life is a game, Die before you die There is no distinction between a psychedelic trip and your daily life. Insights and inspiration come from being connected to the source of consciousness, the level of connectivity to the source has a chemical basis in the body. In the case of psychedelics the inspiration and insights fade away as the chemical foundation changes during the comedown, they do however still have a lasting effect, but the true growth comes from learning how to align the chemistry of the body with the source without psychedelics, this is the way to embody the insights and inspiration. Most growth from psychedelics is done after the trip by integration. If you need a psychedelic to sit in bliss, you are not awake and you don't understand reality. Accept everything that is. All is you. Everything you could ever want is already inside of you. How to use them most effectively and safely? The most effective way to use psychedelics for me is before and during the trip to surrender to silent presence and to the energy that arises when you do so. Notice how much resistance the mind has to be silent and present. I do this through yoga, meditation breathing and also guided Meditation. Once my mind is established in the silent presence and connected to the bliss I like to contemplate or also listen to different spiritual teachers. Often tho hours fly by just sitting in the profound bliss and love empty of thought. Once in this state on lsd I listened to Leos reading a poetic description of god consciousness. My Imagination had no human limitations and so the words of leo were translated into a profound experience. His words and descriptions became my reality. Safety? Well don't be an idiot. Consider all saftey measures before the trip. Pick a good location where you're safe without noise, close to nature. Don't take very high doses. What do you wish you'd have known before you started? Nothing. Exploring this stuff is a lot of fun. Dos and don't when psychonauting? Dos: Fast before and during and after the trip. If you want to eat, eat fruits. Warm water with honey and pure cacao is also nice. Be warm. I like to wrap myself in a mandala when sitting in Meditation. When it's dark, light safely placed candels. Wear comfortable clothing. Commit yourself before the trip to not distract yourself. Be free of fear and negativity. Go offline. Don't be uncomfortable with insanity. Don'ts: Don't eat during the trip! Don't look at your phone. Don't look at screens too much or better not at all. Don't distract yourself. Don't trip in noisy and crowded places. Don't trip in a City.

This morning I was in the middle of a tropical rainforest on a hike. Randomly I felt a very strong urge to get away from other people and listen to the birds. for a few minutes it felt like I was on mushrooms, the noises were strange and very beautiful. Then it hit me, I realized everything is completely perfect, felt a deep bliss, perhaps the best experience of my life without psychedelics, started thanking god and telling god i love you and then i felt that god felt it back. Went on crying tears of joy saying thank you and I love you to god for creating reality out of love. then i realized i am god and we are thanking ourself. I am out of the state of consciousness now so it's really weird looking back, just like a trip. It lasted like 30-60 minutes, I just realized everything is perfect, completely okay, and there is nothing to ever worry about. God is it, God is you, God is me. God is every single you it and me. At the start I had my personal identity, then I felt god's love, then it just switched and my identity was god creating me. Having some ego backlash now, very strange it happened spontaneously, not even while meditating.

I think in my opinion, the very first thing to open your heart Chakra should be not live in negativity. For the heart Chakra, the most important thing would be LOVE. Apart from the above, this Aum Chanting can be added too. It's pretty intense in awakening vibration in the heart. Feel the vibration in the heart as you feel the chant. And the sound of Aum. I'll be elaborating further on the sound of Aum in this series Neem Karoli Baba. I think I will add this to my morning routine. My morning routine is gradually getting longer hahaha. Negativity corrupts my energy big time and turns me into a person I don't wanna be Calm your nerves and your frequency and tune it to something positive and up your vibration. Remember with this. Positive Frequency. High Vibration. What does this mean? Negative frequency means abberation and interruption, at least in my case. Positive frequency means starting fresh with motivation and a calm mind, a beautiful vibrant heart and with good intent. Positive frequency means less distraction and more clarity and purity, good for contemplations. Positive frequency is also soothing and healing, good for those who feel uncalm and troubled like me. And now what's vibration? As in high vibration. This is the intensity of energy. Just being positive is not enough. A low vibration means passivity and won't achieve much. Vibing at a higher level achieves the state of consciousness where you are in tune with your best version, this high vibration can also be associated with kundalini according to me, I'm yet to confirm this through practice though, I'm just putting a feeler out there as to know what this must be like, vibration at a higher level means giving out intense vibrations, aura, energy, alchemy where they are not only protective but regenerative, they lead to effective changes, think of it this way, if you will, I think the frequency is the tone you set, the vibration is the tempo, you can have a mid tempo or higher. Higher vibration means your concentration is amazing, your focus sharp and strength expanding to grow cognitively and emotionally, spiritually, blockages removed and you healing quickly and achieving consistency and rhythm and proceeding uneventfully towards your higher self, the stronger wiser attuned self that revolves around creation, love, spontaneity and growing, maturation. Infinity. Your highest productive potential. Full Contentment and love and peace. Bliss. Love. Just imagine the energetic body in your own body. There's life force called prana flowing through it. They converge at powerful centers called Chakras. Here the frequency and the vibration is the highest in my opinion. These Chakras flow from root to crown.Each chakra, or nerve center, is associated with particular qualities and emotions which transpire in different ways depending on whether they’re unbalanced (aka blocked)...or not! When thinking about balancing on unblocking the chakras, it’s helpful to imagine the flow of energy rather than a literal chakra that is wobbling or blocked up. When your energy is flowing upwards, you will feel the positive aspects of each chakra, in the case of the heart chakra that is love. When it’s flowing downwards you’ll experience the negative qualities of each chakra. It’s more useful to focus on the flow of energy, rather than trying to isolate each chakra and “fix” it. If you feel hurt, it's time to re balance the heart Chakra literally. One way is to practice gratitude. Focus on what you love. Maybe you feel unconditional love for your children, or your friends, or even a beloved pet. Love is love, it's not that one love is better than another. So if looking at your niece's cute little face makes your heart overflow, then let your heart open to that cute little baby. If you have a guru or a deity you love, a friend, a pet, whatever it is, just get the energy of love going in your life. I would like to imagine pink and yellow circles coming closer to my heart and sometimes pink and blue circles encircling my heart space. Imagine you're receiving all the love. Everyone is loving you. You deserve it. You're becoming complete and whole cosmic energy is enlightening your heart vibration. All sentient creatures look at you with loving eyes. Do this meditation. You're accepted as you are. You are a fine baby. You're a precious miracle. Repeat what I said everyday. See! I think the law of attraction and karma will be very important here along with positive frequency and high vibration. How you feel is probably what you attract. Maybe you attract hurt, because you're already wounded. It's like if you don't sleep well, you get bad dreams. Try feeling better, try feeling loved rather than craving love. You're always confusing the map for the territory. Why do you feel doubt? Why do you feel suspicion? Why do you feel fear? Because you feel inadequate deep inside. If you are truly content, you wouldn't feel these hurtful emotions. We're always externalizing what we feel. But never looking inside. Never seeing that the origin of suspicion might be within our own projections, our own thoughts and feelings arising from our deep biases and subconscious fears and wants. What if what we thought/felt was so further from reality, that facing reality and truth would be an embarrassment! That can happen. Nobody controls destiny. What you assume may not be true. When you are so open, then let all perspectives come to you and play with your senses. Let the universe teach you that both good and bad exist and if you stay good you would most likely attract good. Fear and neurosis might even destroy what is good. But if you focus solely on love, then where's the place for fear? Then what you want will be more aligned to who you are. Best is the state where there's nothing to lose. I'm sitting in a van. And there's faint light to illumine the place. That's all. Everything else is closed and curtained and dark. And it's only me and my thoughts. Outisde there's nature. And the universe. Inside me are all the happenings. And right now there's only love. Only love is possible in such a tiny space. This little space is home. Home is where the heart is.

The view point is unbalance, your conditioned your self to only see the negative in everything, its not all negative. Come back to the impartial center. Also how you feel is far more then some idea in your mind, if your not exercising, if your not taking care of your body and have no body mind connection on how to manage neurochemistry, then the mind will create negative output more then positive. If you where high on lsd or mushrooms you would see only bliss, Thats because how you feel shapes your reality and how you feel is shaped by everything. Take responsibility for all the things that come together to create your feelings. Be practical, exercise! The INFPs kryptonite.

Of course I wasn't. No. The lack of "identification with the body mind" is not enlightenment, it's the very beginning of the spiritual path. It is actually a delusion. I've had a period like this, of course, but it wasn't enlightenment, not yet. Also, I would not want to endure pain just to prove my enlightenment to myself, I'm not an idiot, I have nothing to prove, so of course I'd take anesthesia if I had to have a surgery. I can't help but notice that you're pretty bad at this. You think you're insightful, don't you? No. I am not "spiritually developed", in fact, I am not spiritual at all. And insights are not memory, if you "remember" an insight, you don't have it. Insights are obvious truths which have always been true and are obviously true 24/7. You don't really know what you're talking about, because you haven't made any serious, lasting insights yet, you've had experiences and you carry memory about them. This has nothing to do with enlightenment. Not only Salvia will work this way for you ("erasing" your "memory" of your "spiritual progress"), but any psychedelic in a large enough dosage will also work the same way for you. You cannot induce a panic attack in me without actually trying to kill me or seriously harm me. And even then I'm not sure if I will feel fear or an adrenaline rush, a bodily response to a threat. They are very different, and they feel very differently. Fear is something you can experience while literally nothing is happening to you, in meditation, on psychedelic trips or on your favorite drug Salvia. Fear is about the future, and actually, the vast majority of it is about a distant future, not an immediate threat in your surroundings. If someone actually tried to kill you, you would also experience something else than what you call "fear". But if you're talking about physically manipulating a part of the brain, then it may be possible, sure. Of course I feel pain. And I never say stupid things like "I don't associate with it". Pain is pain. Pain is unpleasant, otherwise it wouldn't be pain. I only never feel psychological pain, which is anger, fear, hatred, jealousy, envy, despair and alike. Only my mind is completely pain-free, the body cannot be. I am not sure why they would scream or writhe. You are describing a reaction to physical pain or a physical threat, not a reaction to fear. I have experienced tremendous, extraordinary fear, it doesn't make you scream, it makes you curve in a ball and shake. If you scream and writhe on your Salvia trips, it's not because of fear, it's because you believe what you see. A direct stimulation of some brain region that generates fear (which is how I understand the crux of your mind experiment) will not produce hallucinations, it would just produce fear or a bodily response to a threat (adrenaline, elevated heart rate and breathing, tense muscles etc). I have no idea what those hypothetical "sages" would say, sages say a lot of silly things. If I felt fear, I'd say that I feel fear, what's the point to lie or speak about bliss? I don't experience bliss either, bliss is actually not the destination, all bliss is temporary because it's a relative experience. Enlightenment is not bliss, it's peace. And meditation is just rest. If you can't rest for a few hours without experiencing boredom, restlessness, intrusive thoughts or without having spiritual experiences or energy fluctuating through your body, if you can't rest for a few hours without any discomfort whatsoever, you are not at peace. It's very simple, really. Your mind goes into extremes right away, it's a natural tendency of the mind. But if you are warm, not hungry and comfortable, and yet there's some internal discomfort arising (of any nature) in a 3-hour meditation, you are not at peace. Get there first, then you'll speculate about how you will feel when a lion is trying to eat you. ? It's absurd to be speculating about extreme events when even simple rest is difficult for you.