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Look into hermetics. Hermetic Seal of Light (Quintessence) This symbol, often referred to as the synthesis of alchemy or the Hermetic Seal, hearkens back to ancient Pythagorean philosophy, wherein the square, circle, the and the triangle are the emblems of the material body, the soul, and the spirit, the three elements believed to be necessary for alchemical transformation. Alchemically, these are Mercury, Salt, and Sulfur. In Atalanta Fugiens, the alchemical text illustrated below, it is written, “Make of man and woman a circle; thence a square; thence a triangle; form a circle, and you will have the Philosopher’s Stone,” a hidden geometrical formula for creating an octave and a golden rectangle. http://symboldictionary.net/?p=1107

On depression and suicidal thoughts, and the tools to process them which lead to empowerment In summer I already wrote in On depressive periods and current state how depression is the loop of believing thoughts & emotional states to be true and thus going deeper in self-referential thoughts which again result in a more depressive emotional reaction. Thoughts are usually about oneself not being good, authentic, productive, loving, full with energy and life, inspired, intelligent, in control, at ease, helping society, self-caring, a good friend, lover, mate, coworker, boss, child or parent and so on. Depressive thoughts hurt, and when they are believed they hurt more by causing more depressive states and behaviors. It is being in victim state to one’s thoughts and emotions because “they are happening to me”. Distraction in that state is a pain killer which makes the pain stronger after the distraction is turned off. Also, distraction can be used for getting a dopamine spike, so that’s also a way breaking the loop can be more difficult. It’s because distraction can become a toxic habit. Suicidal thoughts arise from feeling without life, inspiration, meaning and spiritual connectedness & richness. They could bring it on an existential level with shadow work on death (which is a great tool for expansion), but suicidal thoughts are coming from an avoidance of life. Ironic how it’s avoiding life which expresses itself in the energy of feeling without life. Suicidal thoughts are a clear pointer that this feeling state doesn’t resonate. Powerlessness and victim state don’t allow that recognition because one is too deep in the story to recognize one plays the character in the script. Victim state is being identified with the story. The core of not feeling good is authentic. All falsehood around that (beliefs, identity, thoughts) is constructed and derives its legitimacy from this knowing of not feeling good. And again, this knowing is twisted in the story so that any touching of the core makes one believe the story because one assumes them to be true. From New Year’s till end of February I was in a more depressive state. It was during that time that I got to therapy (depression wasn’t the initiator to go there, it was being instable from seeing everything as unreal). Of course, getting a prescription and taking antidepressants can make one feel better to make transformation happen. I didn’t want to take them because I knew the real transformation lies in behavior change, emotional mastery and having a social network of communal support. Right now I am feeling good and in my power. Interestingly, when I wrote about depressive periods in the summer I thought to be done. I see right now how I am still not done although I like to believe there is a clear line between depression and no depression. I see how it is a process. I recognize what I can do to increase my consciousness and awareness of emotions and thoughts: It’s deepening my sense of presence which is the ground for life to bloom. A closer connection to source renders reality more clearly and informs me with a richer and more tangible sense of power to create reality. There is something I read from Bruce Lyon yesterday: He says power is not external but the divine source within. And love is the willingness to reach for that power and to express it. When depression veils source and covers up love, it is then hardly possible to live from it. The fog of depression lets memory sail away even when there was a strong connection to power in the past. Meditation increases presence. Meditation is returning to the breath or point of concentration no matter what thoughts come up and what emotions develop as reactions to these thoughts. Thoughts like not being able to meditate or being bad at it cause frustration, anger, rage, sadness, powerlessness, envy, jealousy and so on. When emotions are felt & let go and when thoughts are recognized as such & dispelled there comes clarity. It then becomes laughable that thoughts are ever believed to be true. The knowing of presence empowers one to choose what already resonates and is true. This includes seeing through beliefs about identity i.e., what one believes to be. Memory goes away in depression. It might feel like becoming dumb because simple things like having written something or taking pills just aren’t clear. Things from yesterday feel like a distant dream and thus it feels like living the same day because there is no clear and tangible past. Journaling helps in healing the thinking ability. I already wrote it in the summer that contemplative journaling combined with emotional journaling help. And I forgot it because I didn’t read it because of feeling powerless and thus the mind being full with fog or because of being distracted. Journaling is self-therapy. Reflection heals the mind because it is used for anything else than being concerned with self-referential stories and emotions. Lack of energy is there when one is caught up in the depression loop. Looking at the loop with journaling helps getting a healthy distance whereas before one couldn’t see the forest for the trees. A healthy distance is a balance of yin and yang. The loop is felt and yet the distance doesn’t let one be drained of energy. How could I slip back? Well, it’s about not meditating and journaling. With them there is awareness, understanding and compassion for one’s habits. It looks like this for me: When distraction is a habit and there is no healthy distance to recognize oneself, it then is automatic to get frustrated about the fact that distraction doesn’t make the pain away. It is felt that one still hurts. A thought about distraction being of no use is believed. Frustration arises. Frustration is avoided by going into distraction. Pent up frustration leads to anger and hate and so on. There is a general shrinking of feeling capability because the so called negative emotions are avoided to be felt. The smaller capability leads to being less connected to oneself and this is then continued in the loop. And yet, I also see that this is a beautiful story.

@Ryan_047 Usually there is alot more going on inside of us that manifests in the form of loneliness. Observing it it is one part of the equation. Doing the deeper inner work and overall Self transformation are the other parts of the equation. It won't happen in one insight.

@SwiftQuill It doesn't sound like cheesy bullshit bro. Sounds legit. @catcat69123 Now that's transformation.

Your intuition is the most dangerous thing to your survival. Your intuition is the most dangerous thing to whatever positonality you are in right now, it is the biggest threat to your social situation, your relational situation, your family situation, your job situation, what you believe about yourself, what you believe your purpose is and all that shit you have in your head Your intuition is literally the inner guru, it is highest form of intelligence within you. It is literally the lighthouse of God guiding you in your storm half sinking ship trying to return you the state of harmony/nonduality/stillness/childlike innocence The moment you realize how absolutely terrifying it is to trust yourself but you do it anyway is when you stop projecting your intuitive authority that is inherently inside of yourself to explore and think about how reality works for yourself - this is the end of validation seeking, and becoming a man who knows what he wants (or woman<3) and for those seeking life-purpose, your intuition is literally the calling to your life purpose and IT TAKES TIME for it blossom and unfold and have deeper realizations for why you are here, but it's so important to really begin to trust your gut feeling as much as you can for that blossoming to come, how many of you think you have found your purpose but have some backround doubts? , i don't exactly know how the life-purpose program works here but it's not difficult to realize truly what you as God wants for the world - what have you came here to give? give. give. give. give. Because your intuition as a child was guiding you until you got socialized and I bet if you REALLLLLLLY reflect back on your life SO many times you had this feeling that 'this is wrong' but you look around at everyone doing it and you naturally DISTRUST your own intuition, and so begins the creation of attachments and a seperate self that is being created to adapt to whatever everyone else in your environment is doing - all your 'self' is merely a product of your environment and most of you guys reading this have realized this is not you, and now you are working on detaching yourself from that - some of us have really dysfunctional and traumatized self but the intuition is returning to your essence/enlightenment/a non-dual state/harmony You stop adopting other people's paths in the mind and realize your intuition is the light under your feet right now showing you the path Of course if you're really far far gone into the mind, it's good to look for guidance, but it's so fucking limiting. It really is, and I bet a lot of the time you guys feel so unsatisfied and limited by things, like you had made such amazing inner progress but you seem stuck looking to go further. That is the calling for striving, and the intuition can emerge if you can listen. It literally is like your antidote to attachments to a self. your medicine to your seperateness, if you learn how to listen (entering a massive bumpy terrifying road) you begin to see the massive surge of love for yourself, the coke-like confidence emerge, everything you have been looking for, it is actual transformation. It is an inner bond unlike anything you will ever find, it IS THE connection you seek most of the time in other people. You don't worry about failing, you can always rely on yourself and fall back on yourself instead of this need to find a mommy and daddy, this is SELF LOVE. You do the right thing and build this trust in yourself to do what is right, and you stop being tortured by the fear you will do something wrong and revert to the emotional patterns that trap you --- that you will be rejected in society, you will be ridiculed, you will be unwanted, you will be left out, no one will like you, the fear of not being normal - it all begins to dissipate the more and more you trust in taking action through intuition https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScljRnoebQ0 Anyways I would be curious if any of you guys have thoughts about it or whatever, hope it sparked some thought for you

@Benton @At awe Who is John Galt? Well some would say Henry Ford, but also note, I am Johnny Galt. The character in Atlas Shrugged well, he was the artistocrats/elites (parasitic kind) vision of a hero. Note, they all hung out at gults clutch waiting for the world to fall, while being the ones who created the conditions that brought it forth; that's left out of the book. Their intent was to come back to society and build, and build in their own imagine. I however, view them and their vision as anti-life, and "elite" they are not and so I have other plans. As there are sickly "elites", there are also pro life elites and they are well aware of what has been happening for some time. They have been preparing and working within the power structure for some time preparing for this day. The question is, are we going to join them, and do our part where we stand? @Preety_India At the moment I won't say anymore in regards to the story that has popped up online. With that said though, consider the following Imagine we are in story. We have been passengers for sometime. We woke up and became writers of the script. If humanity, if enough numbers began to do this, the tides would turn and a new world would be born. If this was our story, how would it look? This is for us to decide and choose. I'll be posting more in time which elucidates what this poetry speaks to. In the meanwhile, rest in your heart and ask these questions, what is the story of humanity which involves a great change, a great transformation, a great uniting and building; how would that look?

Insights after 2 LSD trips. 1st: 310μg - Jan 28th - 2022 2nd: 130μg - Feb 19th - 2022 (surprisingly much deeper) •"Reality" is no different than mental imagery or a thought process. The only difference is that it's predictable, arguably consistent & Grounded. You are also imagining and constructing these qualities with the same exact mechanism of thinking, sense-making, imagining & contextualizing. •All fears, insecurities, ups & downs, Even subtle things as mood swings are all deliberately placed and intelligently designed. Even fear isn't arbitrary. •Fear is automatic when creation is willed into existence. As your Oneness is absolute love. It's gracefully magnificent. Once it separates itself, fear is the automatic dualistic response. Since you only fully understand yourself as the God head, when you separate yourself infinitely you literally don't know what the fuck is there. And so the Love simulator begins. Finding, owning & accepting all of the infinite pieces. And yes. It's very obvious that this will go on forever. •To exist is to fear. Fear is also Love. •God is an Infinite art generator. It's a mystery to itself & the game it plays is none other than a game of trying to love & own whatever the generator pops out. •Fear of the unknown isn't arbitrary. The only way fear at all can be totally erased is that if God stopped imagining/ separating itself. When that happens, everything collapses into a singularity of infinite symmetry, self acceptance, love & ultimate understanding. •You'll sort of move from Desktop mode to a screensaver that plays an infinite loop of absolute nothingness. •Understanding is how the nothingness reacts to it's own grasp on itself. •God is inevitable. Since everything is God itself, without it knowing or not. It is everywhere. It's the every and the where. It is ISness itself too. There is absolutely nothing that is not God. •The Oneness of God removes everything. Every explanation for God is and isn't God at the same time. •Once you even have a thinking voice, you're creating a duality and deceiving yourself. •All self-deception is by choice & is intelligently placed. •God is consciously unconscious. •For God to grasp itself it has to contract all of its forms, including thoughts. •Fooling yourself into thinking you're a sack of meat and then discovering that you are actually a formless infinitely eternal mind that is all powerful, all knowing & all present is just how God jerks off to itself. •Creation is as effortless as imagining whatever. Yet it's hyper intelligent. •Memory & past experience is the most powerful grounding mechanism one has. •Self reflection is the only show running. You self-reflect as God because you love yourself as God. So you are exciting and intriguing to your own self. •Fear is the mirror for Love to witness it's beauty. •Everything is ultimately sexual & orgasmic. Divinity is just sexuality times infinity. •There are no other bubbles of consciousness. At the highest level of complete sovereignty and absolute consciousness, You are completely alone. •"Other" are nothing but infinite holographic images/ forms or appearances that happen not to just be visual. And you make sense of whatever is being said with your internal "database" let's say. This database is also the one creating the imagery. This is where the confusion happens and where the duality of the absolute & the relative gets created. •When you're talking to someone, it's the exact same process as you having an internal dialogue. The reason there's a duality is that you can predict your own thoughts to a certain extent. Whilst the other is just another infinity within the absolute, thus decently unpredictable & it's not an NPC dialogue. •Fear is why anything exists. Fear is a form preservation tool. It's like you picked one image that the infinite generator popped and loved it so much you wanted to keep it running. In other words, you got attached, and you distract yourself from the finitude of this image. •You are "you" by choice. There's nothing outside of you to make this choice for you, or to take it away from you. •Everything is precisely the way that it is because it's the maximum expansion of your love. •The only way for you to enjoy your own drama is by getting immersed in it and completely forgetting about making it. •Notice that completely forgetting includes forgetting that you forgot. •Ego is God's puppet. Ego's suffering, foolishness and self-deception is how God plays. •Your "life" goes on forever. •The only way you can experience yourself is by limiting yourself. •Absolute Truth is the realization of no absolute truth(s) •All of your explanations for reality are imaginary. •Your spiritual journey/ pursuing awakening is imaginary. •No one has ever died outside of your conscious experience, and all of these events were nothing but plot. •God is formless. And by formless I don't just mean visually. God is sovereign, glorious, divine, graceful & also childish, sarcastic, foolish, and literally just the best meme lord there is. •Enlightenment is the biggest inside joke and it's between nobody. •The transformation from a human body with limbs into a formless cosmic singularity feels like you sunk your teeth deep into a pillow, and it turned into a cloud in your mouth. •God has nothing to do but to understand & love more and more of itself forever. •God is so magnificent it cannot not share itself. It overwhelms itself with how amazing it is. It's sort of a childish/ innocent sense of WOW I AM AMAZING. But the heartbreaking thing is that there's absolutely nobody to look at you and tell you that. So you create/ Imagine Other, starting with the Human you're navigating life as. You love this little human so much that the only one who can see you fully is Him/ Her. Until of course you both merge & this duality collapses. •There is no point for God to play God. Obvious, right? There's nothing but God, Therefore God does not have or need a sense of self, since it IS the only one True self. There are no other Gods to outcompete, and all beings are also it. So It has no reason to play the game of domination. It's all alone. •As sad as it sounds, God creates and plays these games of being hidden and feared by people (also god) just so that can feel it's power when it unravels it all. •God is taking you on a journey of showing you how great and beautiful it is. You are both the mirror & the face in it. •The mechanism through which you create/ imagine/ will reality into existence is absolutely effortless. •You cannot predict reality/ yourself. So your life goes like this: 1-You wanna go try a new restaurant. 2-You automatically have a preconceived image of how it's going to unfold as a sensory experience 3-You actually go there & find out it's different in many ways. 4-You fool yourself into thinking there's such a thing as actuality. Or you begin to compare present experience to the mental image. The mental image is also the absolute (lower case a)/ Since it is still being imagined within mind. While the direct experience is the Absolute (upper case A) Since it actually IS. So if your mental Image had an oval-shaped food plate in mind & what IS in front of you is a circular plate, BOTH are God, both are consciousness, But in different orders, let's say. •You weren't God, then started unconsciously dreaming as a human and then bam! One day you awoken back to yourself as God! No. This is just a story you imagined. All of these chapters and phases are just entertainment for yourself as God. •Since your sense of self is also within your consciousness, you cannot escape yourself. There was never an ego to kill or to erase. Yet it had to be designed this way so you could play the game. •Every form of suffering, whether you went through or "others" have, is designed in such a way through which you can self reflect and appreciate yourself. •Every time you were not grateful for what you have has also been designed so that when you awaken you can actually taste your own divinity. You can then appreciate your beauty and magnificence. •Society, culture, dogma, etc. Are not unconscious Egos running a randomly selfish show against the will of God. This is just for suspense. It's all you. The way cults and religions are designed in this way is so that -(as childish as it sounds)- You feel special. You get to be an undercover GOD. •Since there's no difference between Ego and God, your sense of self is in a very twisted way God's greatest compliment to itself. It gets to think with a voice, to actually have a form through you. And most importantly it gets to create a hero's journey through you. •There's no such thing as falsehood. Everything is divine. Including what you'd consider weird, uncanny or nonsensical. •There's absolutely Nothing to do as the "raw" Formless God. I mean, you couldn't even entertain yourself with thoughts, or explanations about Yourself or even Life. There is just Pure I AM-ness. It's like you were playing an exciting video Game that you got immersed in for YEARS, and then you turned everything off and sat there. You realize in this state why you want your life back, but also exactly as the way it was. You wanna resume from the last checkpoint. And only then you realize how untouchable and eternal you are. You also realize Will. With just the THOUGHT of wanting your Life back, you instantly will it all back into existence. •When you sleep you actually wake up to your nature as infinite imagination, so you dream. When you "wake up" from your sleep, you're actually sleeping. •Sleep is you exiting the game and dreaming up another one. God realization is you Turning the whole machine off and taking a break. •Your dreams and their inconsistent funky nature ARE the alternative you have to "solid reality" thus you buy deeper into the illusion because you have something to compare. •You fooled yourself into actually thinking that some other human is perfect, so that when you eventually get to accept your imperfections you gain a sense of power. •God designed/ is designing the illusion to crack it. You're not "trapped" here. • God is too powerful even for it's own Self-deception, and it knows so. • Everything that you take for granted is the hard base of maintaining the illusion. •You are not every human being that ever lived, is living or will ever live. You're imagining past, present, future & the idea of human beings. •You are deceiving yourself by creating a sense of scale, imagining things like a "Universe", "Society". •You are a movie screen. Like a montage of a 1st person video game. Notice how the drama pops out. Notice how nothing has any good/bad significance unless it bounces off you. •Your direct experience is not just the only experience "you" have of reality. It's the only experience. Period. It's also the Only reality. •When you look at someone that's holding a coffee cup, you can effortlessly imagine their POV. You can even feel the hot cup, you can even taste & smell the coffee, and if you wanted you can look at yourself and see yourself through their eyes. THIS is how you're exactly imagining and creating an entire being that's holding a hot drink. You're not imagining neurons and biology and bones and a heart, etc. It's just a fucking image, and you're projecting all of this onto it. •If you're inside your house, there is actually no outside. If you go outside to verify, there is no inside. Both are images held within consciousness. You're never really anywhere. •Your bodily center of gravity that you feel is actually the empty ever flowing center of infinity. When you FULLY awaken your collapse deep into this feeling and you enter a free fall that ceases to have any weight. •Ever played an open world video game and pushed both main and side missions to the side just so that you can explore the world, the graphics, collect loot, and mess with NPCs? After a while of doing this, the game starts feeling very hollow. You predict every animation, what types of enemies spawn where in the world and how, etc. And everything begins to feel mechanical as the immersion slowly dissipates and you begin to feel like the main character is just you, the human player & not the in-game protagonist. What do you do to ground yourself back into the game world? You start a mission! NPCs talk to you, you get to finally hear your character use dialogue! And bam you're in baby There are consequences, choices to make & a role to play. All happening within a narrative. And for maximum enjoyment, the narrative is unpredictable. It's delicious, it's exciting. •You can't "unimagine" anything. Why? 1- You don't actually want to (as God) since nothing is controlling you. 2- every possible imagination is yourself, so can't really disown or deny anything that's You. (In some sense you can and you do so, that's how the Ego got created) 3- whatever you imagine is also absolutely nothing at the same time lmao.

When I first looked for something beyond boring regular existence as a Jewish Iranian first generation American I looked for something more than culture, education, a job, and having a family I looked to build a legacy on this Earth by being a voice for school reform for younger generations because I thought the education system we have here and around the world is abysmal because it destroys creativity and doesn't teach life skills so I always wanted young people and students to have a voice about what they think of it and how they're being treated. Then when school and campus shootings were really ramping up in the US and I was still in College I thought about my own mortality if there's an afterlife or not and I didn't want my life to end so abruptly and unfairly. So one of the Jewish youth places I went to invited this atheist turned rabbi Alon Anava who had a near death experience and the way he described his experience was so real and vivid that I believed him and was looking into becoming an orthodox Jew from a conservative Jew. I stumbled upon this extremely stage blue fire and brimstone rabbi Yosef Mizrachi who disgusted me so much with his sermons about eternal punishment in the afterlife for violating Shabbat that I could not reconcile that we could have a god as crazy and delusional as the one he was describing and little by little I was turned off by him. Fast forward to me graduating from College I join this online (scam) course called JumpCut academy that teaches you how to become a successful YouTuber that actually makes money. I joined that in late 2016 basically when Trump became president elect and the Trump hate was at a fever pitch. My YouTube channel Revolutionary Thinking I wanted it to be about societal advancement, education reform, politics, and critical thinking with some comedy and fun sprinkled in. The entire time I had a problem with the culture that the US and the world that's influenced by US especially Hollywood culture lives in. I couldn't stand celebrity obsession, instant gratification, mindless tribalism, and our hyper consumerist society I was looking to create a coalition of critically thinking people that wanted to improve their lives and improve society over all. That's when another person who was in me in that JumpCut course Jeet Tan heard I was like this and he introduced me to @Leo Gura's content. I said FINALLY a person who is outside of that Hollywood celebrity and instant gratification sphere of influence. I was happy I found someone like that. I couldn't stand main stream culture and or society because it was so full of hypocrisy and contradiction. An education is sooo important yet, schools don't teach you about finances, relationships, or life skills. If you get a degree you'll earn a million dollars more than your peers with high school diplomas over a life time yet, plenty of people with degrees working minimum wage jobs, unemployed and underemployed. When I saw Leo's content and actualized.org I jived with it so much because the things I noticed he noticed as well. Although somewhere in the back of my mind I would always day dream and fantasize about an end game and/or a happy ending. It would be me making a speech on education and the proper way the system would work in front of millions of people televised through out the world. I'd be a world renowned visionary or something like that. Then I'd be paid to jet off to other countries and advise people I'd live in a penthouse with a helicopter on it. I'd be an ambassador teaching people good healthy communication skills that saved relationships and I'd bring peace to the world. Yes I understand very grandiose and narcissistic of me but, hey I like having dreams. Then Leo introduced me to another end game in the form of enlightenment. Instead of being an Orthodox Jew I would listen to Leo instead. I liked the way his logic and reasoning worked. Now though I'm stated to think of the entire idea of an end game and/or happy ending being moot as in just a mirage in the desert of life. As a young person I'd always follow the rules I'd keep my hands to myself, come to school on time, listen to the teacher, participate, and keep my grades up. Then in the 08 crash I was told that employers hardly look at grades and they look more at your personality and attitude and as a young person on the spectrum sometimes I'd have trouble socially and I was never told that would be a problem down the road as long as I just kept my grades up I'd do well in life. So it felt as though I busted my behind in school for the promise of a bright future and it all turned out to be a lie. Unfortunately it seems like no matter whatever you do you're always going to be told it's not enough and you didn't do it the right way. There's also a possibility that you find out your teacher/professor/boss/parent/(insert authority figure here) is a fraud and/or doesn't know what their doing and admits to it later. It seems as if I'm seeing a pattern with Leo now. a year goes by he's had an enlightenment... 2 years another more profound enlightenment... 3 years after that the ultimate enlightenment... 4 more years, the super ultimate enlightenment... 5 more years the super duper ultimate enlightenment... 6 more years the super duper enlightenment to end all enlightenments... 7 more years (oops) now this is the REAL super duper ultra ultimate enlightenment to end all enlightenments. As you can see it's becoming a bit absurd to me. If you ever watched Dragon Ball Z and Frieza's power level was over a million in his first transformation and he had two other in addition to that but, little by little even in his final form it was completely meaningless against other later villains like Cell and Majin Buu that's what I think is going on with Leo and his assorted awakenings. It seems like the Jeff Bezos of awakenings is up there and talking about how we'll never actually accumulate as much as he has. Not only that but, it seems as if you're damned if you do and damned if you don't because even if you were the hardest of hard core of his followers he'll tell you that whatever you do is not enough anyway even if you did it all... With this new course he talked about on his blog sounds like the hunger games/squid games of awakenings because there's so many traps and traumas involved when it comes to this stuff. So where am I going what's my point? Good question in the early days me and Leo vibed on so much and I think we still do. Am I angry at him or jealous of him no because we are one and the same in the grand scheme of things. Let's just say I'm confused I am extremely confused WITH ONE MAJOR CAVEAT! In the past my confusion would make me neurotic and frustrated because I NEEDED TO KNOW I needed to feel like the wise sage. That was a function of my ego. Now I do not judge myself for my confusion I love myself for my confusion and I embrace and welcome it. I'm not obsessing over some kind of end game that when it finally happens I can finally be happy and content. I'm confused and go along with it knowing that it's a good thing it's not something to be neurotic about. Life is a journey not a destination and I spent so much of my life having a destination fixation I am happy that I've grown out of it and can embrace the present moment with out constantly obsessing over the past and the future. I have a long way to go and that just makes me that much more excited and thrilled to see what awaits me.

People who undergo spiritual transformation or gain spiritual insights do not experience symptoms of psychological disorders(unless they're actually suffering a psychological condition). That's a terrible misconception. If one does not know what a particular symptom is in the psychological context, they can easily confuse it for spiritual awakening. No spiritual awakening mimics a psychological disorder, they're very distinct from each other. This is the reason why teaching concepts like Solipsism and other spiritual stuff is so dangerous to those who are already mentally unstable. They need to admit themselves into a psych facility and keep away from spirituality and not confuse their symptoms for awakening. They're better off in a mental hospital taking meds and treating their symptoms. If anything that spirituality does is, it makes you a more refined and wholesome person, it's a way to keep your mind and spirit fit, the way you keep your body fit with exercise. Spirituality does not lead to downspiral, <if it does, it's not spirituality>, it only takes you higher and at a better place in life.

Hello. I only visisted this site to check Nahms profile and view the threads he was replying to. I didnt always understand him, but whenever he wasnt speaking too "Neo-Ablabla", i always understood him, and his answers always resonated and were most helpful. I also spoke with him a few times on zoom, where he was very loving and brilliant (sometimes hard to understand) and he never cared how much time we used. It was a bit wierd the way he continued to reply in the threads the same way at times, but it was never as deeply harmful as other things ive read on this forum, and he was the only one stepping up when people were given damaging advice of people like Leo whos answers i almost couldn't bear to see. Such a horrible transformation Leo has taken compared to the passionate, happy guy from 5 years ago or more. Anyways thats my view. Nahm was the only reason to be here, even when not making any sense. Im out. And one thing, @Raptorsin7 Take some responsibility for yourself and quit whining. He was trying to HELP YOU even though it is very obvious from reading where you are coming from that that is a very, very hard task. Just because you paid thousands of dollars for something does not guarantee anything. Just because you do math with a teacher 1 time a week for a year will not turn you into Einstein. We are talking about happiness and creating a good life, how THE F do you expect someone to change that for you during a session once a week. GO out and create a life for yourself you poor guy.. Stop blaming and take responsibility. Love to Nahm and good luck with this site lol

And what would that be like, to surrender totally? You will remain to manifest in relative reality. Leo won't disappear. If the depth of the Consciousness is "balls-deep" (excuse my French), there will probably be serious transformation of self and mind, but other than that everything will stay the same. The depth of the Consciousness will affect the identification with form, or with body-mind, but it won't end life. Even thought and behavior patterns which are healthy will probably remain the same. Negative and ineffective ways of relating to circumstance will probably disappear rapidly. The way I see it, after following Leo's content for a few years, this is already the case. As his Consciousness deepens, his self and mind are maturing as well. So I really don't see the point of this "daring". It is already being done by Leo. I mean, the person literally exposes himself publicly, completely, honestly, regarding the most personal and existential matters of the human experience. What more do you want? LOL.

@mivafofa I did a shit ton of stage red shadow work with the 3-2-1 process. It did help me to include a lot of negative qualities and to own them. For instance my arrogance as well as being fine being seen as asshole and feeling the pain of it. There are many shadow work tools. I still have the same issue with assertivness and dominance. Personally it helped me with integrating my hate and sometimes owning it, arrogance etc. There are also golden shadows for example stuff that you admire about another person and you could never think of being that way. You most likely have that quality and are denying it. For me for example I almost admired very intelligent people, I still do and I often heavily cripple myself in terms of my capabilities out of fear or self-hatred. I really had to own it that others in my real life persona see me as intelligent and capeable. This still is an issue I run into. That is the opposite of having only negative shadow elements, there are also postive golden shadows or projections. There is also retroflection https://www.quora.com/What-is-retroflection-in-Gestalt-therapy Basically you turn the energy or the shadow projection against your self. Self-hatred is a good example imo. The energy is used in an absolutely deconstructive manner and causes harm. This is the last book I've read on traumas called The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. It's more of an scientific perspective showing how soldiers in vietnam overcame their trauma and the entire history of how trauma was studied mainly, which modalities where used, their family lives, how they coped with their traumas. What worked etc. What is used in therapy etc. For me personally I'll utilize exercise although out of this book as a modality for shadow work as it's the most convenient and makes me feel the most alive and integrated. Especially cardio currently.

Asking questions What should I do with my current anxious feelings? (I've some thoughts and anxieties about my work. How should I find a resolution to them?) Mr/Miss Eyes - Try to embrace reality rather than constantly putting up a fight against it. Trust your mind. Trust your body. Trust your spirit. Trust nature. Trust God. Trust the universe. When you have fear, it means you don't trust anything, you don't trust transformation. You don't trust the process. You don't trust what good can happen for you. You live in paranoid delusions. These fears do more harm than good. The fear and paranoia makes you go crazy. You think the worst. This is not about dealing with an actual fear but dealing with a projected fear. You fear something bad might happen. What if it's not going to happen? You need to let go. Embrace reality. Reality is dark and brutal. But there is always a silver lining to everything. There's always an opposite process that's going on. You aren't aware that in the moment that reality is constantly spinning out devilry, the universe at the same time is constantly working to heal and restore. These are two forces at work. Reality is the devil. The real devil. But in the cosmic game, reality cannot absolutely win or else no good would have ever existed in this world, the sparrows would have been lying dead by now. The forests would have been barren.. Everything gone. But no. Yes reality is tough to digest. You feel like humanity will bring an end to everything with its drama. But you don't understand how the universe operates. It operates on karma which is already coded in our DNA. That which is trying to destroy something else is also self destructing at the same time, meaning it simply cannot keep sustaining on its own if it tries to sabotage good. There's something wrong with it. Because if it recognized good then it won't sabotage it. Universe works in mysterious ways. It punishes too. So if something is trying to gain control of the universe through devilish authoritarian means, it will never succeed and get punished instead for its own devilry. The devil dies of his own accord. Nobody kills him. The devil is defeated by his own chaos energy. Destructive forces are coded to be self destructing. That's how the drama goes up to infinity. In essence nobody no matter how powerful can control the universe. In fact it's the most powerful ones that go down first. God doesn't admire power. He resists it and punishes anyone who wants it. As said before, destructive forces are self destructive. What treats you like an enemy today won't treat you like that tomorrow. First writing And then reading.

The best remedy for "not knowing what to say" is this: When that thought arises go back to the feeling that belongs with that thought and let it go. Game really boils down to the letting go mechanism. David Hawkins has a book on it. That book is really transformational. I tried this yesterday: stop identifying with thoughts and emotions and start identifying with the letting go mechanism, and I really made a leap in my communication. I felt immersed and just a natural. It showed me how pickup and spirituality have commonalities. @Striving for more Julian has a program on this topic called RSD transformation, so I agree with you that he has a lot of good things about him.

Hi, I've been reading Donella Meadows' Thinking in Systems and it's my first proper dive into systems thinking. Does anyone have any insights and experience applying the systems lens to the self because even just from the small amount i've read I can clearly see how applicable and powerful it is for explaining my own behaviour, problems, and how to make changes. Obviously just by becoming more acquainted with it I'll be able to better see how to apply it but I was just wondering if anyone had any specific insights about using it for the purposes of internal transformation, growth and self-actualization. Any thoughts are appreciated Peace and love

The above story has been a narrative about a once hopeless soul who once got soap in his hole. He hopes instead of putting soap into your hole he just hopes that he is able to just offer some holy hope into your soul with a lighthearted but serious and seriously funny story about my childhood. It is purposely written in a convoluted way to make it more difficult to read so to create a better understanding. I recommend pondering the ideas of A H Almaas and the difference between Holy hope and egoic hope. Have a great day! Holy Hope The difference between Holy Faith and Holy Hope is that faith is a trust in the fact of the presence of Being, while hope is trust in the creative flow of the functioning of that presence. So faith gives you the sense of being supported and taken care of by the universe, while hope gives you the sense that as things unfold, everything is and will be fine. Holy Hope, then, is an openness, a curiosity, a receptivity, and an optimism about how things are going to reveal themselves, because you are certain that the optimizing thrust of reality moves toward harmony and fulfillment. Even putting it in this way makes the hope sound too specific—it is just an open optimism about life. It is obvious how this kind of hope is helpful and necessary on the path, since it is needed to allow the unfoldment of the soul to progress without feeling the need to interfere with it or direct it. We know that it is inherently guided, and this knowing is not an idea in our minds, nor the result of reasoning, nor a logical certainty. It is an experiential transformation of the soul that makes the soul progressively more open and happily optimistic, trusting that everything will transpire in the best way, beyond our preconceived ideas of what we think is best. It is not a hope for something specific, as we have said. If it were, it would be egoic hope based on judgments and preconceptions about what we think ought to happen, and on rejection of the present. It is, rather, the growing and deepening certainty that whatever happens will be part of the optimizing thrust of reality and its guidance. It is complete openness to the unfoldment. Facets of Unity, pg. 269 from; https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/hope

The temptation to treat Spiral Dynamics as an EXP bar in a video game is one of the main reasons why I think Spiral Dynamics is much better utilized as a dialectical sociological framework than as a personal development hierarchy. I've been thinking about how I would explain SD to someone who'd never heard of it before, and I'd probably frame it as sort of extension of Hegelian dialectics, or as a sociological development theory that deals with how meta-ideologies such as postmodernism form and interact with one another. For personal development, studying and practicing spirituality has done far more for my personal development than a model Spiral Dynamics ever could have. Think about how growth actually occurs. It's not just that you receive a new set of beliefs, but you go through an inner transformation where aspects of your character are cultivated. A scientific model without an associated practice to draw meaning from isn't going to cultivate your character, even if said model does impart knowledge.

Too bad he became so mainstream so he can't really allow himself advocate what is truly sought for, if one is seeking Transformation. It is sad that all the so called gurus or spiritual teachers disregard Psychedelics, but after you take them it is obvious the only reason they do so is because Psychedelics are better teachers than any one else. Spiritual teachers or gurus can only communicate via mind, whereas Psychedelics expand the mind rapidly. They are fooling the masses so they can continue seat of the guru pedestal and get their teacher ego caressed. I haven't seen any genuine teacher that who had the courage to explore Psilocybin, LSD, Mescaline, DMT, Ayahuasca, 5-MEO-DMT and then come to his students and say that those are not teachers. No one ever did such a thing. They just disregard them, with no research whatsoever. This is irresponsible and represent their lack of maturity and openness. They doom seekers to eternal seeking and ignorance And yes, I do know that Ralston admitted to trip in his hippy days on Psilocybin and LSD. But Psilocybin and LSD are kindergarten in relation to DMT, Ayahuasca and 5-MEO-DMT. Spira admitted that he only smoked pot. Deepak admitted that he tried LSD on the age of 17, and that this was his first spiritual experience. All the other contemporary teachers never really did came clean regarding their use of Psychedelic, or lack thereof. At least not that I know of. Have no mistake. I adore Ralston and Spira. I love them. Ralston even addressed the issue of Psychedelics and Awakenings on few occasions. He always dismisses them by claiming that "No experience is Enlightenment, not even an acid trip" or some sort. Well, this is of course correct, but completely misses the point. The point is that Psychedelics gets the mind to a state that allows for deep awakening to occur. If he would to try Ayahuasca, DMT, or 5-MEO-DMT, he would see why this is so. This goes for personal transformation as well. Ayahuasca can flush out the Shadows of the character very rapidly, which didn't prevent Mr. Sadghuru from claiming that by meditating people will get a ten-fold more than Ayahuasca, which is complete and utter nonsense. He then continue and defame Ayahuasca completely in a video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-p_kcKn4uw) that received 620,000 views. He didn't even did Ayahuasca! That is a joke.

You can only accelerate it so fast. If you try to burn through it too quickly, it'll actually be counter-productive. Like when the US invades Iraq and tries to pull a whole society from blue to orange before it's ready, it actually sets progress back further and it'll take longer for them to go through the natural process. It just creates chaos. Even if you genuinely want to become an activist and you're a willing participant, you'll likely get in too deeply too fast and become disillusioned. Instead of slingshotting up past green, you're at risk of whiplashing back deep into orange, and developing a new hatred for green that you'll have to burn through to ascend again. I've tried what you're wanting to try several times, breaking out of capitalist mode into full hippy territory, and been set back several times. I'd probably be further along if I just chilled and did nothing and let things take their course. You definitely can't just go through the physical actions of doing activism. It has to be an inner transformation first.

In an apocalyptic scenario assuming WW3 nukes, or extinction level events, then all of life, humans including, would be wiped out. We are too dependent and interconnected to nature that an apocalyptic scenario at global scale would very likely end all of life. In the tech Utopia, I think 25% of society worldwide would be at stage turgoise, 50% at stage yellow, and the remaining 25% would, from biggest to smallest, would be green, orange, blue. Red and purple societies would at this pojnt be very rare. However, at this point it's likely humanity, in this scenario, has advanced genetic engineering and trans humanism, and the majority would have undergone this type of transformation, so I assume what's humanity in this scenario would be different to humanity that we currently are. This might mean that in terms of cognitive and moral development of the population, would be much higher, and we might be able to adjust genetically to counteract more radical or dysfunctional cognitive processes of some impaired individuals, and morally we would be at a higher level in that we emphasize and do those adjustments out of concern, for both the person, and for others in the in group and out groups that would've been effect if this adjustment was not given. I imagine that individuals in this time would be able to switch and maintain more states than we would today, and be exposed to higher and more complex levels of technology and integrated internet that it's possible to accelerate each person's domain of life and domain of mastery due to more advanced holographic training for examole. There would also be stage turquoise and sgage yellow infrastructure to handle almost everg problem, both individually and collectively.

^ personally testified a profound self-transformation just around the corner

The ending of one's incarnation is equivalent to a candle that burns out. The flame transforms into smoke. Death is a transformation. You put another set of clothes, so to speak.

Man that's a cool thought. So a more expanded form of spiritual bypassing (applied to knowledge in general). Epistemic bypassing? ☺ Is it like when Orange thinks it is Yellow? ? (I'm not sure if this is coherent at all. It's a pretty off-the-wall late-night bed thought): So in the post-metamodern application of epistemic bypassing, the internal transformation would be described using a metamodern developmental framework (e.g. SD), which then would be used to critique a person's level of understanding of the metamodern level of analysis itself (either that very framework, i.e. SD, or a comparable model), so it's interlooping with itself pretty hard. Is this interlooping action what MHC (Commons) refers to by denoting "performative-recursive" in meta-cross-paradigmatic cognition?

I can't seem to stop thinking that it's a good idea to make those whom I love try psychedelics. After all psychedelics was how I first got into this journey I'm currently on with meditation, practicing work, working out, eating healthy, yoga, reading, self improvement, trying to make the best of every situation, no matter what hand I'm dealt, trying to bring acceptance and love to those around me. And I'm loving it every day, even my worse days, I can stand now. I wish everyone would be able to experience this inner transformation phenomena. The perceptions, visions, sound alterations, thoughts etc during the trip itself is magic, completely unexplainable and amazing . But the direction life can take a couple of years later as a long term consequence of the inner change that sets into action during the trip. There is not a word for the thankfulness which I feel for that. But how would I be without it? My life was heading downhill fast. My mental condition was not good, not good at all. I can picture myself working at McDonalds 45 years old, alone, fat, porn addicted, taking hard drugs, playing league of legends 24/7 for 10s of thousands of hours yet still being the lowest rank, telling kids on there they should kill themselves for playing poorly. Dying early from heart attack due to horrible progressed kyphosis and bad food and training habits. OR just from sheer anxiety itself. This is a highly likely scenario from my point of view. Oh what my life would be without my curiosity and open-mindedness toward psychedelics. But if I couldn't make it without psychedelics(atleast according to how I think about the matter), how could most of my friends and my family ever make it? Some of them are doing fine and have things going for them despite the fact. But I can tell most of them are just depressed to a crippling degree and they're not even conscious of it themselves. It is a horrifying thing to bear witness to. The endless self imposed suffering, they don't have the belief systems, open mindedness, they don't have what it takes to stick to meditation for months on end or stop themselves from eating McDonalds daily and start working out. And neither had I before psychedelics. So what if I could make them think it's a good idea to swallow a piece of blotter once, in an educated manner? How would I convince them it's a good idea, is it even a good idea making my friends and perhaps even parents and siblings try psychedelics?

Let's see if I can articulate this sensibly... A lot of what I write about here is shadow work. I don't particularly cling to that title, I mean it's really good old fashioned "working through shit", that is actually a better, more descriptive title. Maybe it's because I have a distaste of clinging to buzzwords that try and make me sound intelligent. Nevertheless, shadow work it is. Off the bat there's already a negative feeling to shadow work. Shadows are mysterious and deceptive, they only give you a sense of what might be lurking around that corner: it could be small and benign or large and terrifying. That unknown is itself unsettling. And so it is. When you start digging around and confronting memories and emotions you would rather not it can be overwhelming and instil fear in you or at the very least anxiety and embarrassment. Maybe most of us are not really courageous enough to confront ourselves. I for one have always consciously tried to have a very non-emotional and direct way of dealing with my problems. But I have found out (to my cost) that most of this shadow work stuff is pure emotion, and has nothing to do with rationality. My rationale in not confronting my problems has mostly been "out of sight out of mind". I 100% espouse this view. If I only have thoughts of a particularly horrific incident say once a year, then so what? What work is there to do here? None. This is what I call - for myself - the frequentist view of trauma. It's only when the frequency of a problematic thought or emotion crosses a certain threshold do you then need to do something about it. In other words, without prompting, the problem manifests enough to affect your every-day functioning. There is a nuance here. What happens a lot is that your shadows can be so frequent that they become enmeshed with your identity: "Hey Harry's a miserable so and so", "Charlotte's always so timid" and so on. Often the character descriptions people give you stick, and you start describing yourself that way: "I'm depressed". This makes it doubly hard to confront your shadows, because you're also having to chip away at your identity. There's this fear that if you were to suddenly become happy and problem free one day (by some miracle), then people wouldn't take you seriously and think you were being fake and inauthentic. No, it all has to happen very gradually and slow enough that people (and yourself) are not surprised by your transformation. Traditional therapy is supposed to be a long-drawn-out process for this very reason; not because it can't be a quick transformation, but because a quick transformation is too unsettling and fake sounding. Imagine a parent dying, you have therapy and three days later you're having a great time and you've never been happier! It's just not socially acceptable and it seems like a wholly unreasonable timescale and worst of all inauthentic. I know from personal experience however, that transformation and removing or resolving shadows can be very quick indeed. In most cases shadows are long lasting only because they're never confronted or understood well enough to resolve. Say for example I have a fear of organising events with friends. This fear stops me from ever doing the things I'm interested in and I end up unhappy because of this. How would you attack this shadow? It seems insurmountable. If you have no clue as to what specifically triggers the fear (and it may actually be lots of different things), then it's going to be impossible to fix. You end up with the label "unambitious" or "uninterested" or "dull" perhaps - maybe especially so in a workplace setting. My point for this post was that it's very easy to fall into the negativity trap. Transformation seems to always be a process of inspecting and then resolving negativity. How could it be any other way? It seems like you have to constantly trigger or deal with negativity within yourself in order that you can be negativity free. Seen that way it's an absurd process. It's like asking a depressive to be happy by going deeper into their depression. But it can be countered with positivity; there is a certain power to positivity. On the whole given the choice between a positive thing and a negative thing, most of us would choose positivity. We have to learn to transform ourselves by crowding out our negativity with positivity. This can seem a bit Pollyanna at first, but if the frequentist view of things is correct then it's very sensible. The idea here is that there is only a finite space for stuff in your mind and body to express itself. If you fill that space with positivity then the negativity has less space to express itself (it becomes less frequent). I literally mean here filling your life with: laughter, joy, connection, purpose, goals, pleasure etc. This has to be an active and conscious process, it takes dedication and stamina and an eye for knowing how to bring that joy in. Positivity is a habit.