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I've never been diagnosed but I'm almost certain I have social anxiety, I experience a lot of the same things you do. One thing I've noticed is that I'm awful at socialising when I'm sober, but when I have a few drinks I can easily be the most sociable person in the room, and I actually enjoy socialising a lot when I'm tipsy. It's a very big transformation I'm not recommending alcohol as a solution, however it did show me that it's actually possible to enjoy talking to people and that has been very valuable The main difference mentally is that I'm not really afraid to express myself in that state, things enter my mind and I say them. Compared to when I'm sober and it feels like I have 10 filters something has to pass through before I allow myself to express it.

No doubt was Jackson an extremely racist slaveowner. However, his nationwide expansion of democracy to every white man in the country regardless of class, money, background, etc. was such a historic step forward for America that fundamentally changed all of society for the better right after the Jeffersonian era. I don't see how I am cherry picking dates and events, when each of those periods I mentioned in my first post all FUNDAMENTALLY REFORMED THE STRUCTURE OF ALL OF THE USA approximately every 10 to 30 years. Legalizing gay marriage in every state is definitely some kind of significant progress just like Obamacare and Dodd-Frank were too. However, all of those progressive wins along with every other positive smaller things that happened during the Obama era all together still didn't end up creating nearly as much progress for society as Teddy Roosevelt's Square Deal did or as much as Wilson's New Freedom agenda, or as much as the New Deal programs did, or as much as the Great society policies did. That's one major reason why many people including many liberals, many black and brown people, and many poor people in the US have felt like Obama let them all down. By no means were TR (Teddy Roosevelt), Wilson, FDR, and JFK/LBJ perfect, but I don't think that most people have ever really believed or said that any of those guys let them down when it came to domestic affairs. It's only been hard conservatives who have hated everything those presidents did. I mean our country desperately needs to undergo some kind of progressive historic transformation on the level that each of those legendary presidents were each able to accomplish during their times as president in the 1900s. I know that this hasn't happened since around 1969 because no liberal president since then has ever had the votes that either TR, Wilson, FDR, or LBJ had with Congress. But isn't there some way that we can get those massive amount of votes in both chambers of Congress needed for some kind liberal or progressive president who would be able and willing to pass a flood of new laws that would make dramatic structural reforms for America that people like me are talking about?

In this spiritual journey, you'll have to develop a 'no self' or 'no-I' palate for integrating spirituality in daily life. In simpler terms, this is the first time you can consciously reduce the sense of I, separation and craving levels to a noticeable degree where your state of consciousness changes. Once you feel the inklings of this transformation in your formal sessions (or daily life), I encourage you to go after it and replicate this insight experience over and over again. This is not the time to distract yourself with entertainment. Re-create the same circumstances - causes and conditions - which enabled you to reduce the sense of I looking at the world. --- How to Nurture This No-I Awareness: To reduce the shortcomings of open eyes and effectively practice, do the following: 1- Visual field strongly increases the illusion of duality and separateness. A self looking at the world. In daily life, whenever you are interacting with anything, looking at anything, allow the no-I perception to show its colors through reminding yourself the insight. You'll instantly recognize the same perception rearing its head by reducing craving, self perception and overall ease pervading your conscious experience. That is how you know you are doing it right. You'll also experience puny self-centered thoughts (planning, worrying etc) losing a lot of their pull over you. Do this each moment in daily life. Warning: This will feel quite disorienting. You might find it very challenging to walk straight or speak with people. This is the initial shock. It will get easier as the insight matures. Don't be too hard on yourself. Keep your energy levels high. Smile often to create a sense of ease. Then continue to maintain this no-I awareness each time you look at the world. This form of nurturing as a practice is absolutely essential for spiritual development. To reduce the shortcomings of closed eyes and effectively practice, do the following: 2- Make sure your body doesnt feel like a burden. Since closed eyes facilitate greater awareness of body sensations, thoughts and emotions, it is important to have enough equanimity, joy and tranquility to reduce the illusion of a self. Otherwise, closing your eyes and meditating will be more challenging than open-eye meditation. You need to nurture this awareness of no-I in both ways to experience insights. If you feel like there is not enough lubricating elements of samatha, then it is time to do more samatha prior to this insight process with closed eyes. --- Once you do this practice, slowly integrate your favorite hobbies and activities with open eyes. Be patient and do this every morning. I hope I don't have to say that you need to start your day with a strong formal session to enhance this awareness for the rest of the day If dullness or drowsiness sets in throughout the day, open your eyes and continue maintaining no-I awareness the best you can. If you are extremely fatigued, then take a nap and continue the practice. No need to force the mind to energize itself if it is too sleep-deprived. Much love,

In doing research for my business, I have been developing a list of qualities associated with authenticity. some of these are definitions that I have thought about and "come up with" but many of them coming from articles online. A concept of personality in the fields of psychology, existential psychotherapy, existential philosophy, and aesthetics In existentialism: Authenticity is the degree to which a persons actions are congruent with their values an desires, despite external pressures to social conformity. Authenticity in art: A work of art that is faithful to the values of the artist. Un the field of psychology: authenticity identifies a person living n accordance with their TRUE SELF, personal values, rather than according to the external demands of society, such as social conventions, duty, and tradition. Independent thought, thinking for ones self. Knowing ones self. Values Desires Strengths Avoiding herd mentality, standing alone. Reliable, accurate representation The individual takes responsibility for proactively shaping their beleifs, then the be willing to act on those beliefs. To say that something is authentic is to say that it is what it professes to be, or what it is reputed to be, in origin or authorship Authenticity describes a person who acts in accordance with desires, motives, ideals or beliefs that are not only hers (as opposed to someone else’s), but that also express who she really is. Integrated Whole True to ones self, for one's own benefit. Independent of external and psychological pressure. "Language of personal resonance" "Not just being involved in the authorship of such a law, but about how this law fits with the wholeness of a person’s life, and how or whether it expresses who the person is." - (Menke 2008) Inner connection Intuition Introspective examination of one’s inner motives, values, intentions and conscience. Inward and Upward. Becoming what one IS. Being ones Own. Owning up, owning what one does. Human being is a “relation of being”, a relation that obtains between what one is at any moment (the immediacy of the concrete present as it has evolved) and what one can and will be as the temporally extended unfolding or happening of life into an open realm of possibilities. To the extent that our lives are unowned or disowned, existence is inauthentic (uneigentlich), not our own (eigen). to realize the capacity for authenticity, one must undergo a personal transformation a relation between two aspects or dimensions making up human existence. Intrinsic motivation and desire. standing up for and standing behind what one does—as owning and owning up to one’s deeds as an agent in the world—becomes possible in this sort of resolute commitment to the “for the sake of which” of one’s existence Anything you would add to this list?

@Loba (Posting here, cuz thread got locked). I honestly don't think I could have ever recovered without your writings. Most of the content out there is in one direction, your contents is in another, and it stands out. It gives me the balance I'm looking for. At a surface level, one might think that you don't have a lot to offer, because you don't often flaunt much logical understanding that most people cater to and consume. But in reality, you do understand logic, better than most as I see it, and at the same time you see and understand patterns/non-logic, which is something not everyone is capable of. Actually, I don't know any people who are capable of the latter, let alone both together. The value I get from reading you is non-linear, so it's not like "Oh, yeah. That makes sense." It's more like "This doesn't make much sense logically at least for now, but maybe it will someday or in some other way." And so with time, it actually does. The alchemical transformation you talk about is legit, it has been since the early days of your older journal. Your writings showcase that in themselves and in others who read them (my experience at least), with time and patience and open-mindedness. You are a great writer, because you are genuine, honest, and have a great mind-heart-body integration. Thank you, honestly. Keep on doing what you love, even if the world is not ready for it yet, as long as it resonates with you. You're a goldmine. And if anyone is lucky enough, they will stumble on your journals and maybe they'll learn something if they are ready.

Carl, I have a question - do you keep report history available? Because that chick was goading me and the other dude into an argument nearly the whole day. I had reported those before asking my question here, and they were removed by either the girl or a mod, but I am not sure by who. This chick isn't some innocent bystander or anything like that, she surmised I was talking with someone by following them, and me around on this website and then started freaking out about it. Do these reports allow mods to see the whole picture before adding confusion to the fray? @Knowledge Hoarder Not so, try reading my recent journal entries, they're all about alchemical transformation, I use energy work to bring peace onto planet earth, you know very little about me. Now might be a good time to inform yourself. Or don't, I don't care one way or the other. Also, reported and blocked, goodbye little kid. @Gesundheit2 Thanks Ges. That actually means a lot to me. I feel that once they're done, they're pretty well-rounded and thought out but I was wondering if at the end of the day it was just a hobby for myself and only myself.

Fear of death is only for the ego and the separate self that think it is not a part of everything else. But passing this fear is and can be the hardest thing to do as a separate self. Because all your life, you have been buying in to this dream and everything about it. Including this thing called death. Fear of death is really a huge fear of having to be selfless, and stop caring only about yourself, and start caring about reality as a whole. The ego will hijack this truth with giving you/us a HUGE fear of death. Death is an illusion. But it is the roughest illusion there can ever be, because there Is so much stored up deception, thoughts, emotions, fear and a primordial weight around it. Even though I have been through my fear of death during 50+ trips, and thought I already moved past this. I was surprised few weeks ago during a DMT trip where I was being strangulated with love by God. Because I had asked so thoroughly what REAL AWAKENING was. And of course, it is behind this primordial fear of death. I went through the biggest trauma of my life. Because I had feared death since I was a child. I was becoming Infinite, while I was being choked to death by God. And the love of Reality. And I resisted it of course, because my fear of death was apparently greater than becoming one with God. Until a few days later where I told myself that I wasn't going to live with this fear anymore. I was so done with this crap. Having to fear this for 25+ years. I took 3-4 tabs of LSD and deliberately went in to a deep state of meditation, and stopped my heart. I passed out after that, and went through THE BIGGEST awakening ever. And saw the illusion of life, outside this dream. I was EVERYTHING. And my fear of death, was really my fear of being EVERYTHING. My fear of death, was owning it to myself that I was God. Or shall I say: There Is Only God. My body passed out for I don't know how long, while I was going through this transformation. And I became so Conscious that I became unconscious. I could have been there forever. But I didn't really know I was gone, until I came back. I returned to "my body" and It was the most surreal experience of my life. I'm still shocked that I am living and that I still Am. But I live with the joy of life and appreciation for what is. Rather than fearing what may be, or what will happen in the future.

Nice! One day I'll post my 9 year all natty transformation, both muscles and hairline ?

@thisintegrated He has no overarching structure or formulation enfolding (perceiving/prospecting); he has no true external objective (lack of judging). All of it, this project, is an internal process that is externally disoriented (Ti life purpose devoid of Fe, which is not a well-constructed and sensible Te plan) wherein he had described his entire catalogue of videos as documentation of his awakening and transformation (a Ti-exclusive illustration of this going on over time). He often is brought to tears through external people's emotions and meanings and traits (by naked images of other people or movies that other people have made, that being a signifier of Fe). This is all on top of the fact he actually scored as an INTP, which statistically points to him truly being one.

Notes: In alchemy Nigredo, or blackness means petrification of decomposition. It was believed by alchemists that the first steps towards to philosopher's stone required all the ingredients to be cleansed and cooked excessively to a uniform black matter, but what does this Nigredo phase mean for our physiological wellbeing? How does it operate in our unconscious? What are the implications of this process when viewed at the collective level? Is it the same as shadow work? What does the blackness represent? Let's uncover the truth to these and other questions. For Carl Jung the purpose of alchemy is to liberate the whole individual which is hidden in the darkness, threatened by the rational and correct conduct of life. Consequently experiencing themselves as hindered and on the wrong path, the Nigredo, or blackness was the initial stage of the alchemical process. It is the original dark chaos, also known as massa confusa, where all the elements were chaotically swirling around together. It could also represent the state of separations, where the elements were separated from one another. I could also represent the state of separation where the elements are separated from one another, in this state a union of opposites is needed and male and female lay together to produce a third. This third product of their union is marked for death and so the mourning period begins, the Nigredo phase. Putrefactio and mortifactio are two aspects of the Nigredo phase where the former means rotting and the later means killing. Here we see how this phase is closely associated with death, Saturn rules Nigredo phases, and the opposites that need unification are the sun and the moon. Let's not forget that Saturn is also the god of fertility, this means that the alchemical expression is a fertile earth expressed as a transformation as death into a new life. The head of a raven is another traditional name for the Nigredo phase. In the practice of analytical psychology, the term Nigredo becomes a metaphor for the dark night of the soul, when an individual confronts the shadow within himself. Carl Jung claims that the shadow personifies everything that the subject refuses to see in himself and represents a tight passage, a narrow door whose painful constriction, no one is spared who goes down to the deep well. When an individual makes an attempt to see his shadow he becomes aware of and often ashamed of those qualities and impulses he denies in himself, but can plainly see in others such things. This is a painful and lengthy work of self education. Alchemists projected their inner psychic contents to matter and their transformational practices concerning it, the Nigredo that was the black work of alchemists represented a critical involvements experienced by the ego until it accepts the newly formed equilibrium brought by the creation of the self. For Jungians the Nigredo phase could be interpreted in two mains ways: First - the subject is unaware of the unconscious i.e. the connection with the instincts. Nigredo here makes the subject bringing about awareness to his unconscious. Second - says that the Nigredo is a part of the individuation process which is subjectively experienced and brought about by the subjects growing painful awareness of his shadow aspects. It is a prerequisite for personal development. As the individuation unfolds, the confrontation with the shadow produces at first a dead balance, a standstill that hampers moral decision and makes convictions ineffective or impossible - Negredo; chaos, melancholia. Melancholy can arise when working on ones self, the alchemists advice music to leave the alive the soul. The Nigredo phase is followed by deep emotions, it is slow, repetitive, difficult, dissecting, effortful, severe and pulverizing. Allthewhile the worker enters a Nigredo state; depressed, confused, anguished and subject to pessimistic even paranoid thoughts of sickness, failure and death. Mourning is caused by the loss of an object or person who carried an important projected value, and in order to withdraw projections and assimilate their content into one's own personality, it is necessary to experience the loss of the projected as a prelude to rediscovering the content or value within, therefore mourners are fortunate because they are involved in a growth process. They will be comforted when the lost projected value has been recovered within the psyche. This is the darkest time of despair and disillusionment. All of this gives the power for the enantiodromia to take place where the Nigredo phase gives way to the Albedo phase, where the decent into the unconscious suddenly becomes an illumination from the psychic realms above. Enantiodromia: Jung describes it as an emergence of the unconscious opposite in the course of time, this characteristic phenomenon always occurs when an extreme one sided tendency dominates conscious life. In time an equally powerful counter-position is built up, which first inhibits the conscious performance and subsequently breaks through the conscious control. When it comes to the colour black - it carries the meanings of the random and the formless, like a black hole it sucks into it and makes vanish the fundamental security structures of a Western consciousness, by abstaining colour, black prevents phenomena from presenting their virtues. Black's deconstruction of any positivity, experienced as doubt, negative thinking, suspicious, undoing, valuelessness, explains why the Nigredo is necessary to every paradigm shift. On the mythological level Nigredo represents the difficulties that men needed to overcome on the Hero's Journey. Alchemists said that the Nigredo stage lasts 40 days. 40 days has a symbolic value. Jesus fasted for 40 days in the desert. St. Antonius spent 40 days in the Sahara desert being plagued by visions. The Israelites wandered for 40 days in the desert and there are 40 days of fasting between Easter and the Ascension day. When it comes to literary works, the raven, but Edgar Allen Poe and Shakespeare's Ophelia come to mind. In the birth of the Red Book entitled, "Decent into the Hell in the Future", we find the following dark passage: I see a grey rock face along, which I sink into great depths, I stand in black dirt, up to my ankles in a dark cave, shadows sweep over me, I am seized by fear but I know I must go in. I crawl through a narrow crack in the rock and reach an inner cave whose bottom is covered in black water, but beyond this I catch a glimpse of an illuminated red stone which I must reach, I wade through the muddy water. The cave is full of the frightful noise and shrieking voices. I take the stone. It covers a dark opening in the rock. I hold the stone in my hand, peering around inquiry. I do not want to listen to the voices, they keep my away but I want to know. Here something wants to be uttered. I place my ear to the opening. I hear the flow of underground waters. I see the bloody head of a man in the dark stream, someone wounded, someone slain floats there. I take this image for a long time, shuddering. I see a large black scarab floating past on the dark stream, in the deepest reach of the stream shines a red sun, radiating through the dark water, there I see and the terror seizes me. Small serpents in the dark rock walls, striding towards the depths where the sun shines, a thousand serpents crowd around, veiling the sun, deep night falls. A red stream of blood, thick, red blood springs up, surging for a long time, then ebbing. I am seized by fear. What did I see? In conclusion, a Nigredo phase is a psychological process that can be also viewed as shadow work. Here a problem is given full attention by being reduced to its core. It is not done purely in an intellectual manner, but in an emotional one. Confrontation with our inner reality is often painful and can lead to extreme states of feeling. This confrontation makes us understand what we project to others and the world. It makes us become aware of our own darkness. Only through this process where our false ideas and beliefs are burned away do be become aware of what we really are, as Nigredo is the first stage of the individuation process which alchemists believe to be the making of the philosopher's stone - lead to gold, psychologically and spiritually.

You are naturally attracted to the specific forms or types of information, tools and techniques which align with your current belief systems, in order to guide yourself through the awakenings that are most relevant for you specifically. But do understand that only you yourself possess the creative power to change anything, you are the only source of power. You choose to label, interpret, give meaning to or decide to utilise the imagined effect of some kind of external tool or methodology in order to give yourself permission to experience the desired inner growth, expansion or awakening about your true divine nature of reality and experience. Bashar very clearly explains this understanding in this clip about what he terms 'permission slips': This fundamental understanding will help anyone greatly on their unique path of awakening when truly applied to physical daily life experience. I highly recommend listening to this explanation of how all tools, ideas, objects, philosophies etc. operate in our consciousness by what they represent to us personally and how we interact with them psychically, It is of no importance what type of 'permission slip' you choose to embrace in order to allow yourself the experience of the transformation or awakening you desire. Like Leo already answered: experiment, discover and explore whatever works for you currently by trusting your intuition, sense of alignment, flow, passion, highest excitement, following your heart's intelligence or higher guidance to tune yourself vibrationally. A very common pitfall for many is projecting way too much power onto some illusory thing that is inherently meaningless or neutral, apart from the meaning you as the creator give it. Which can quickly become a limiting perspective, belief or identification when you have naturally integrated the specific wisdom or consciousness that certain approach symbolised for you, and are now ready for the next level or dimension of your self realisation. Therefore it is wise to always stay open and receptive in order to at least notice the energetic resonance, synchronicities, intuitive messages and new inspiration that might currently be much more valuable and relevant than all previously believed in or identified with forms, ideas, substances, tools, methodologies, philosophies etc. Everything is always changing, you are always changing, always discovering, exploring, deciding, giving meaning to, creating, but also supporting, guiding, inviting and enlightening yourself from a higher or different point of view. The actual creative challenge you have given yourself with this current incarnation could for example be expressed as: How can I allow myself to be more fully enjoying this apparent contrast and my life experience? What does speak to my imagination or inspires me the most? Who do I truly wish to be or what type of energy do I want to radiate? To which topic or perspective do I wish to contribute? What do I regard as valuable and wish to represent or share with other selves?

@Leo Gura In all honestly Leo I don't mind that answer, and I'm not suggesting that you're wrong. I acknowledge that there is significant depth to what you have to teach, that's why I'm participating on your forum and asking you questions. I'm not trying to bother you. If I didn't have respect for you, I wouldn't be here. Despite what you may think, I bet I've spent as much time listening to and contemplating your videos (at least within the time since I discovered you) as anyone else here. But, you must admit that what you've said thus far doesn't demonstrate that you have a superior understanding of Advaita Vedanta, or any understanding whatsoever. Nor does it settle precisely how you think I'm misrepresenting the teachings. My questions to you are not rhetorical, and they are not presented in bad faith. I'm a genuine person asking you genuine questions, and although you make it unbelievably difficult to have a mature/productive conversation, I'm willing to put that aside to see what I might learn. I'm more open-minded than you may think. You must at minimum concede that you know very little about me, and yet assume so much. Aren't you the guy with the video on how assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups? So, if you're unwilling to address my questions then so be it, but if you change your mind and feel up for the challenge of actually bringing some rigor to your criticisms of how I and/or Shambhu have misunderstood the true Advaita Vedanta, then I'm all ears, and I'll gladly open my mind to what you have to say. That is a promise. Furthermore, it's not like Vedanta is just one teaching. There are many schools, many ways of thought, many lines of argumentation, and many interpretations. The notion of immutability comes from the Vivartavada and Ajatavada theories. Not all schools of Vedanta adhere to this way of thought, and although there are many schools of Advaita Vedanta, you will typically find agreement amongst Advaitins regarding Brahman as immutable. It sounds to me that you may resonate more with the Parinamavada, which is the notion that the world is a real transformation (Parinama) of Brahman. Where as in contrast, Vivartavata is the notion that the world is merely an unreal manifestation (Vivarta) of Brahman. Vivartavada states that although Brahman appears to undergo a transformation, no real change takes place. The myriad of beings are unreal manifestation, as the only real being is Brahman, that ultimate reality which is unborn, unchanging, and entirely without parts. Ajatavada is similar but slightly more radical, and is favored by the Neo-Advaitins. This is where they get the idea that nothing ever happened. It was famously expounded by Gaudapada (Shankara's guru's guru) in his Karika on Mandukya Upanishad. Ok, will you consider a healthy discussion with me? I'd be very grateful. I assure you, I'm not looking for an argument here. I have no interest in lecturing you, on the contrary, I'm asking you to lecture me. What is your precise understanding of Advaita Vedanta? And how does it relate and/or contrast to what you've discovered directly via awakening? This is what I want to ask you. Thanks for your consideration.

Yes they definitely can. And I am speaking from experience, also from what I have seen in others. But so can LSD. It too can open up the heart. It just depends on what your intentions are going in with. But mushrooms tend to deliver the punch a bit ruthlessly, at times Set and setting is key here, for these types of trips. Put on some comfy clothes, prepare some fruity snacks, and a lot of water. Put on some relaxing meditation music of your choice (preferably something that touches your heart) and just dive deep in to yourself. It depends on how much you give in to it. How fearlessly you are willing to face everything that is no longer serving you as a being. Inquire deep in to yourself: Do I want to be capable of being more emphatic towards myself and others? Am I willing to stop telling this story about myself? What do I have to give up about myself, to integrate this aspect of myself? Am I ready to face myself? Am I ready for change? What does it mean to open my heart? What am I missing here? What am I running away from: By being cold, distant and not connecting with others, on an emotional level? Is this just a programming I have received from people close to me? Have I received the emotional connection from others, when I have been in a rough/tough situation? And what did it look like when someone connected to me deeply? What did I feel when I was seen? The trip is just going to be there as a catalyst and a helping hand. You still have to take the necessary steps to go beyond your programs, lies, fears and illusions. Maybe try to have someone trip sit for you, if you think it might go out of hand, and if you don't trust yourself. But the more you own it yourself, the better the transformation will be. Edit: (Regarding autism: I have no first hand experience of this, but have been friends with a guy who has autism/asberger. And he absolutely hated taking psychedelics. He resisted the whole thing and it made him worse. Mostly because of his traumas. So don't take my word on this matter, this is just from my experience and others who I have observed. Take everything that is said here, with a grain of salt.) I am no professional when it comes to autism/asberger + psychedelics.

I too had my first major awakening at 19 lol. I was in deep existential crisis then and thanks to huge psychological suffering and victimhood I had this one year of strong motivation of digging and digging. Then synchronistically "Power of Now" by Eckhart showed up and half year later Jed Mckenna. And of course daily meditation before and after high school. And then one day the universe went silent for 5 minutes and disappeared. But I still had rigid atheistic, logical, materialist mind so after that began the Spiritual transformation of the character that is taking place to this date. Really only after 2 years after that glimpse and after taking 5g of shrooms I really viscerally believed in God (as I). So I would say that this existential dread comes in waves, and it is different for each person. But the end of high school, end of your twenties, mid-life crisis all seem potent to create suffering deep enough to have the motivation to strip away the ego.

Hi everyone, I have been listening to a series of Bonnie Greenwell interviews lately and one of the topics that keep coming up, is how in India, Kundalini is perceived as a goddess. Another one that has popped up repeatedly is the sexual nature of Kundalini. I have a bit of personal experience with both aspects, so whilst I wrote about this before, I would like to provide a more detailed and personal look at how the two are connected. This is going to get weird, so brace yourselves. So, I’ve hinted at my story here and there, with more details provided on my youtube, but I never really tied the different strands together and I feel it is important to do so now, as listening to these interviews have crystallised some concepts and connections that I only really felt intuitively before, but now I have become conscious of them. It’s always difficult to provide enough background information, without taking up too much space, but I’ll do my best. I am really uncomfortable writing about this topic, as it tends to ruffle so many feathers, but I feel it needs to be done anyway, as my own unique story could actually provide some clarity on topics that may have been unclear before. All of us, who have awakened Kundalini have such a unique perspective and we all arrived where we are from very different backgrounds, via different routes, and if we each provide our story to the spiritual community and the wider world, we will contribute to completing the puzzle, the greatest one there ever was, about the mysteries of the universe and the true nature of existence. So, it is often said, that Kundalini is a goddess, yet she is also Shakti, a cosmic, all-pervading force in the universe, but locally, she is also sex energy (libido as Freud would call it, having learnt about Kundalini from his friend, Jung) and as Bonnie Greenwell points out in her works, she is in fact the very creative force that creates life upon conception, it is root energy. The Hindus believe that Kundalini is what germinates life upon conception, it is what creates the blueprint for the organism to grow and is the energy and intelligence behind cellular growth and the creation of full-blown multi-cell organisms. This energy is provided by the explosive energy of orgasm upon conception and is usually drawn from the father, though the exact process is unclear. Ancient civilisations were well aware of the importance of this process and conceptualised the act of creation via orgasmic release through various fertility gods and goddesses. In India, the god of fertility is Shiva, and one of her wives, either Parvati or Durga is seen as the goddess of fertility. The former presents a more benign, loving, aspect, whereas the latter is fiercer and more warlike. Thousands of years before Hindu gods arrived on the scene, if mainstream archeological timelines are to be believed (and there is always some speculation and conjecture involved), in the first civilisation known to us, Sumer in Mesopotamia, the very first concepts underlying our current civilisation were being developed. Almost everything we associate with civilisation, whether writing, calculus, astronomy, agriculture, irrigation, architecture, calendars, timekeeping etc… was invented by the Sumerians, more than 6000 years ago. They seemingly came out of nowhere and developed all these high civilisational tools and achievements with no other civilisation to precede them. In their own records, they claim that the gifts of civilisation were bestowed upon them by their gods, whom they called Anunna, indicating that they were descended from the Sky God, AN , and were all various offspring of his marriage to KI, the Earth Goddess and mother of all gods (also known as Ninhursag), who, to honour this fact, were also sometimes referred to as the ANunnaKI. The chief God of Fertility was Enki, who was also associated with water and fish, whereas the goddess responsible for the sexual act itself, in order to create life and fertilise the whole of the earth, make plants grow, animals reproduce, etc… was known as Inanna (also Inana, later Ishtar) who was believed to be even more powerful than Enki in mythology, even though they had a familial relationship, where they often relied upon and helped each other. It was said that when Inanna descended into the underworld, life upon the surface of the earth would stop, plants would not grow, animals would not reproduce, her power over sexuality was seen as the fundamental force behind nature, which allowed its growth and replenishment and the cycle of life to continue. She had a dual nature to her as she was also the Goddess of War, riding into battle on the back of a lion, sporting an array of distinctive weapons and with various supernatural powers that have no doubt provided inspiration for the modern portrayal of superheroes. This has been acknowledged by the latest iteration of Wonder Woman, who carries her symbol, the 8-pointed star of Ishtar, representing the planet Venus (also a Roman Goddess heavily influenced by her mythology) on her forehead. If you thought that a fierce warrior goddess, riding a lion, slaying her enemies and being associated with sexuality sounded familiar, you’d be right, she has equivalents in many subsequent cultures, where some or all of her aspects and attributes were syncretised into local goddesses. Some, like Aphrodite, Venus or Astarte are no longer worshipped, whereas others, chiefly the Hindu Goddess Durga, still are. I bring up Durga here, because some scholars have established a link between these two very similar goddesses and have linked them both back to the Parthian Nana, who in the Indus Valley became known as Nana Devi. She is recognised as one of the 108 official forms of Shakti and now seen as an ancient form of Durga, from whom she inherited most of her attributes, including her fierce, war-like nature (she is the slayer of the demons of ignorance, symbolically) and her marriage to Shiva, providing the counterpoint to his role as the god of fertility and thus creation. Keep in mind, that in most strands of Hinduism, Durga is honoured as the primary form of Shakti and all this will soon start to make sense. So, apologies, if I had to get to my point in a convoluted manner, but it is relevant to the story I’m telling and it cannot be understood without this mythological and philosophical background. The point here, as often expressed in Shaktism, a major branch of Hinduism, that puts goddess-worship at the forefront, is that all these different names and forms for the Goddess are not what matters, for the force, the intelligence behind it, is essentially the same, different flavours of the same Shakti. And this Shakti is behind the creation, sustenance, rejuvenation and continuation of life, it is responsible for evolution, the creation of new species and allowing existing species to step on to the next rung of the evolutionary ladder. We may have different names and forms for her, we conceptualise her differently depending on our cultural background, but all of her different forms stem from the same underlying intelligence, she is the essence of all life and in this sense, the Divine Mother that gives life to all, not literally, but in a manner of speaking. This also explains, why Shakti has her own drive and initiative, her own goals and agenda, which is the continuation of life on earth and the evolution of all species, but on this planet, the human form in particular, towards a higher form, to reach its full potential and achieve self-realisation. That is why, when she activates in us as Kundalini, her primary goal is our transformation and evolution. There is no difference between her myriad forms, they all share one divine cosmic consciousness, we only perceive them to be different due to the limitations of our senses. So, you may ask, why did I bring the Sumerians into this, isn’t the picture already complicated enough without them? I had to do this, because it informs my own story and is of personal relevance to me. You see, when my Kundalini first started rising, back around 2010, I was an atheist, though I maintained a keen interest in spirituality from early childhood and had always known that subtle energies and souls were real, I also maintained somewhat of an on-again, off-again meditative practice. Living in London at the time, I visited the British Museum regularly and became fascinated with the Mesopotamian Exhibits, not least the Uruk collection, which was excavated from Inanna’s holy city and the Burney Relief, which is said to be a depiction of her. Concurrent to my visits and interest in Mesopotamian culture and mythology, my Kundalini started rising, first as heat at the base of my spine and then gradually cleared the first three chakras in a gentle and painless manner, bringing up the requisite past unresolved issues and memories, I was supposed to deal with. The problems started when the energy hit my heart chakra and was unable to clear it and break through. I felt chest pain and in time developed heart palpitations, anxiety, heavy breathing and neurological problems. Having been pretty much an atheist up to that point (I was brought up as a Roman Catholic prior to that, but also had some exposure to Hinduism, when I lived in India as a child), my only solace from the increasingly troublesome collection of Kundalini symptoms was during my regular meditative sessions in the Cathedral Gardens, next to St Paul’s, the river Thames in general and my frequent visits to the British Museum and the associated reading areas where I delved into Mesopotamian Mythology with growing interest. It was as if the artefacts from all those millennia ago were calling to me and I felt an energetic connection developing, particularly with the artefacts depicting the gods Enki and Inanna. In some myths, they are Father and Daughter, in others they are Husband and Wife, in yet others, they are Uncle and Niece, but their relationship is central to Mesopotamian mythology and they represent a very important male-female duality, where their strengths complement each other. One day, I was feeling particularly “unwhole” and suffering from Kundalini Syndrome. As I was walking towards the Cathedral Gardens at St Paul’s from my City office, it occurred to me, that these ancient gods I had been so intently studying, weren’t just myths, but perhaps they were very real beings and could be prayed to and applied to for help. I looked towards the majestic dome of St Paul’s Cathedral and thought, well, I have nothing to lose, if I ask for help, so I might as well. I closed my eyes and imagined the god Enki as depicted on a particular relief in the Museum and asked for his help. I told him, he was known as the creator and greatest helper of humanity, most gracious amongst the gods and most likely to take pity on any mortal that might need his help. I asked him to send any help he can and having read about the concept of guardian deities or spirits beforehand, even suggested he might send someone to assist me with my Kundalini issues in person. Immediately, I felt a huge download of energy. It was as if the skies had opened up (being London, it was grey and overcast) and some sort of beam or ray of energy descended from the sky, straight into my crown chakra and suffused my entire being. It felt like I was filled with light and had received a gift of divine grace. I immediately felt better and felt hopeful for the future. The next day, as I was washing up, a light appeared behind me, as bright and hot as a second sun and white in colour, accompanied by a sound of beautiful radiance. It had a female presence, immense intelligence, grace and emanated pure love. Within her energy field, time seems to have stopped or slowed down immensely, the outside world appeared like a mere shadow and looked unreal. Only she and I existed in that moment, everything else was a mere projection on a wall. Nothing has ever felt so real up to the point and so-called reality never felt so unreal. It was as if the colour, the flavour had gone out of it and it had gone pale and lifeless, so incredible was her shining and radiance, illuminating everything around her with the light of a thousand suns. Without words, this being of pure light energy floated towards me and communicated that she would like to heal me and touch me, in a way asking for permission, I suppose. She touched my back, at the level of the heart chakra and this touch felt real, like that of a human woman. She gave me shaktipat, which is what I later discovered, this transmission of energy is called, unblocked my heart and caused the energy to shoot up and flood all the nadis as it passed through the heart. I felt the need to lie down and allow Kundalini to do its thing, so I went to my room and that’s what I did. I started thrashing around and having various kriyas as the energy shot up, taking only a few minutes each to clear each of the upper chakras. When it got to ajna chakra and then past it, I felt a rhythmic thud at the top of my skull, towards the back part, as if the energy was trying to escape and break through, but couldn’t. This final knot, in the Brahmarendra, just below the crown is the last one and again I was getting the constrained feeling like I did when the energy was stuck below the heart. However, Inanna was still there, in the kitchen and as I was having this experience, she gracefully floated into my room, emanating this white-silvery light everywhere and giving the impression that she had tendrils of light extending from her in all directions, with which she was able to caress and touch me. She then floated on top of me, as I was lying in bed and started enveloping me in her light and I even felt like someone sat on me, with not much, but still noticeable weight, which to be honest, felt rather sexual, as is often the case when kundalini is involved. I have since seen many depictions of tantric goddesses sitting atop devotees in an act of tantric union in Buddhist art, especially in Tibet, so I’m guessing this is pretty universal. Not for nothing is Inanna known as the Goddess of (sexual) Love. In this tantric union, which really felt like an act of divine lovemaking, our beings slowly merged and became one. She gave me her energy and I felt my Kundalini finally shooting up with such force that it broke through the last knot and it felt like, my actual skull, with an audible crack, which sounded like a bone breaking. I have only recently discovered, that this moment is known as the breaking of the cosmic egg (Hiranyagarbha), which is accompanied by the release of the yolk, known as Amrita, which floods the body. The way I experienced it, was that after the breaking of the cosmic egg, the serpent finally escaped and as it exited the skull, it felt like it was peeking out from just above me, eventually coming to rest its neck, just below the head, and keeping its head raised up, the way it is often depicted in Egyptian art. Concurrently to this, amrita started flooding my brain and this felt like a rush of liquid light with again an audible sound of rushing water, like a stream, or even a waterfall. As the Amrita flooded me I experienced incredible feelings of bliss and joy, as well as downloads of profound truths, which is known as sat-chit-ananda (truth-joy-bliss) in the vedic literature. I received great realisations moment after moment and my whole being was being suffused with light, brighter than anything I have ever seen. Each subsequent stage of this awakening was more joyful and blissful than the previous one, even though I always thought, surely, it cannot get better and more intense than this, but until the final stage of Nirvikalpa Samadhi, it always did. At this stage I was already in some state of Samadhi, though still within my body, with the opening at the top back part of my head, known as the Mouth of Heaven in the literature, giving me constant access to a higher, infinite and non-dual realm, which I can only refer to as Heaven, as we really have no other or better word for it. However, my experience had not yet culminated at this point and I was to experience the greatest bliss of all, as my consciousness exited the body. My body fell away and became increasingly small as I extended into a black, spaceless, timeless and dimensionless void. I was all alone, it felt, but I was also everything. I started experiencing everything being part of me, the whole cosmos and everything within it and my expansion seemed never ending. I filled everything, suffused and pervaded everything with my being. I was in my own universe, not knowing if I was the only one with his own expanded universe, or whether there were others parallel to me, but ultimately, it did not seem to matter, because in this place, I was whole, loved and loving, both the object and the subject. It seems like a paradox in hindsight, because how can you be loved or love, when you are alone, but in fact I was pure love, nothing else really existed, everything was made of pure light, the ecstasy, the knowledge, the happiness, the love, the joy, the bliss, all of it was way more than any human being could possibly bear, so I had to be in this universal form, encompassing everything there is, to bear the majesty and brilliance of it. This was a state of non-duality, where all opposites, even subject and object ceased to exist and there was only the One, the Absolute, the Self. The Self was universal, omniscient and all-loving. In this state, everything was already understood and known, past and present were no longer mysteries, they were all occurring simultaneously, everywhere and there was no limitation of any kind, just pure expansiveness. I must have been in this state for about an hour, though during that time, I had no concept of time at all, it simply did not exist. The same thing for space, everything was within me and I was within everything, with no separation. Ditto for dimensions, they extended infinitely in all directions and I was part of each dimension of existence. My vision wasn’t confined like it is now, it was also in all directions and saw everything there ever was or will be, everywhere, simultaneously. All knowledge simply “was”, already there, instantly available and there was nothing that wasn’t known to me. In hindsight, I understand why ancient Rishis described this moment of realisation as “I am that”, because really, that is all there is. In that moment, you are that and that is the only thing that exists, so you realise the unity and oneness of everything and everyone, different manifestations of the same “One”, seemingly different in the illusory, dualistic world of Maya, but ultimately stemming from the same source. Once I have grown tired of existing in my infinite, universal state, I started shrinking again, until I was small enough to fit back into my body (it felt like falling back into it) through the same route I exited it. Being back in my body, I felt incredibly constrained and my muscles were sore. I knew this was a profound experience I’ve just had, but it also felt rather disappointing to be back in my same old body and to have lost that full immersion into truth, bliss and joy, though I have carried back the memory of it. Since my crown was now opened up, the mouth of heaven provided a constant link to Heaven and I was able to interact with heavenly beings, beings of light from then on, depending on the needs of those that exist in this shadow world of illusions. The state I have just come back from is known as Nirvikalpa Samadhi. I have been able to go into Samadhi states and rest in them subsequently as well, though none were ever this intense, this seems to be a one-time deal, to show the Jiva or Soul what awaits it once its task has been completed here on earth, as a motivation to keep up the work and lead others towards union with the divine (Brahman). So, there you have it, that is my own unique take on Shakti being a goddess, one of many names and forms, which are largely made up by humans, but the intelligence, the force, the power behind it is unchanging and always the same. In fact that reminds me, the Goddess once showed me a vision of herself when I admitted to being confused about all the different forms and names that are associated with her and how she could be all of those things when to us, they may look so different. In this vision, I saw her as a Hindu Goddess in a four-armed form. Like I said, names and forms are for us, for her, they are all the same. She was alone, in a black, dimensionless void, like the one I have been to in my Nirvikalpa state, sitting cross-legged, two of her arms raised up in meditation and the other two manipulating reality. In front of her, was a loop, donut-shaped. As I looked into the loop, I realised it contained all the time and space of the universe, condensed, and as you “zoomed in” individual faces and lives started appearing though from her perspective, they were all flat or two-dimensional. She could reach into any one moment or any one life and make adjustments as she deemed necessary. She explained to me (in thought, not words), that this is how she reaches into manifest reality to keep the loop running as it should be and both time and space circle back into each other and start again, over and over, but to her all points in space, time and various dimensions are equally accessible and visible. She also explained to me, that when intervention is needed, she might incarnate in a certain form along a particular point of the timespace loop. All she need to do, is “pinch” that particular point in the loop-movie, for her, no time will have passed, but in the movie, in the physical play-out reality we inhabit, an entire avatar or incarnation may have been born, lived and died, completing the missions she was sent there for. I’m not going to speculate on how this relates to other gods and goddesses, I am simply reporting what I was told, or rather shown and you can make up your own mind about what that might mean. I have also “seen” her (specifically in the form of Inanna, but also as others, including Buddhist forms, as reported by friends who were visited) manifest in physical reality and “reach into” it, manipulating events, or performing healing on someone. The events were reported by friends or people who have asked me for assistance, remotely, but I also saw them in my minds eye, in the form of visions, so to me they were as real as if I was really there, even though I was thousands of miles away. If that sounds weird, keep in mind this is known as remote viewing and is reportedly how the Mahabharata was written, so that events could be seen by the author remotely. When the Ajna chakra is activated, these things become possible, though I have never sought them out, they only happen spontaneously, when the situation calls for it. In conclusion, I realise I have thrown a lot of weird, hard-to-digest stuff at you and it may not make much sense now, but perhaps in time, it will. I know it took me many, many years to get a sense of what’s really going on and understand at least the basics of it. I cringe at the thought of how many people will be upset by this story and I have plenty of experience with that, believe me. I’m not bothered by the criticism, which is predictable and I have noticed always comes from the point of view of which cherished part of the ego feels most threatened by it. Some will be upset by the mixing and matching of religions and philosophies, to some it will be new-age, to others way too religious, polytheists will decry its monotheism, monotheists its polytheism, non-duality its dualism, dualists its non-dualism and so forth. This story does not fit into any neat category and neither do I, I am literally in a minority of one, so it has the unique advantage of upsetting everyone at the same time. It may also seem unfair that such profound spiritual experiences would occur to someone so undeserving as myself (and that I very clearly am) and all I can say to that is that we live in a different age now (some would say, the tail end of the Kali Yuga) and as things get darker, one advantage of being here now is that we have to put in so much less effort to progress spiritually than only a few decades ago. A lot more people are waking up and having spiritual experiences of a profound nature, whilst simultaneously, those that refuse to grow and evolve with the changing times are growing ever more demonic and hateful, as has been predicted by the Puranas all those millennia ago. So for you, my advice would be this: keep doing whatever you’re doing and work on it, because there has never been another time in human history, when it was easier and quicker to achieve spiritual liberation than it is today. Don’t listen to mean-spirited critics (teachers and gurus who know what they are doing excepted), instead, follow your own heart and your own intuition, listen to the guidance of the Goddess and she will manipulate events in such a way as to give you maximum opportunity to develop and grow. Also, pray to her, talk to her, plead to her if you have to and she will find a way to communicate with you. Do not be bothered by the differences in outward appearance when it comes to her many forms, work with whatever form works best for you, whether it is the more impersonal and universal Shakti / Mahashakti, her more localised form as Kundalini Shakti or one of her more personalised forms appearing as various goddesses in different parts of the world all throughout history. If you feel more comfortable with the male aspect of God, then do that and apply to that aspect for help, that is also what I initially did, when I prayed for help almost a decade ago now. But, you’ll find, that in most religions, it is the female aspect of God, that is most active in this reality and is most likely to step in, whereas the male aspect tends to remain somewhat distant and is generally outside of the created world, rarely taking an interest in it or intervening directly. I hope that helped you and I encourage others to share their personal stories of awakening in a similar manner so we may all learn from them as a collective, because in the end we are one consciousness, having the same experience, but from myriad different points of view.

Couldn't agree more. It's really nice to be able to feel what has been bugging you for a while, and always been there in the back of your mind. And now you can finally see it and solve it, be of assistance to it. I bet Change, Transformation and being Aligned with the highest Truth. And to removing the obstacles in the way of living that Truth. Meeting my fears and going through them. I usually start getting the DMT jitters before I even decide to take it. My heartbeat goes to the roof, I get really nervous. But the more I do it, the more I come to realize that It's my resistance towards it. My resistance towards Truth. But I'm loving myself throughout this journey and I'm taking the time and accept the parts of me that don't want to live in Truth. And help to transform them in to the Light I have found DMT to be extremely loving and healing. In my opinion, it is by far one of the best tools to heal yourself and helping you to deal with your traumas. I go through the traumas as a baby in my mother's arms as these parts are realizing that they are the way they are, because they haven't gotten then opportunity to grow. But now they are being seen and helped in the way they need it.

The first part is fair, they’re are those who are very gifted without effort or practice. But to setup this dichotomy - you’re either naturally gifted or meditation is useless - is asinine. Yes the dog example points to the value of this human life, just how precious it is to be born as a human. We, unlike a dog, have the capacity for enlightenment. Moreover, the brain is a uniquely malleable organ compared to the rest of the body. To use genetics as an argument for some kind of inherent, static limitation of the mind is not only incredibly close-minded, it’s implicitly materialistic. The mind’s capacity for transformation is vast, grandiose. Psychedelics prove this. And for those unafraid of industrial grade practice, who see the futility and insanity of how most of us live, even those who think they’re into serious spirituality, those beings see this capacity for transformation through manual practice and their resulting direct experience.

You can not limit the Christian God is what the trinity is saying, you can not say oh it is cosmic conciousness or a universal mind, nothing at all limits God. The Father is the sole arche but creates through the Son in the Holy Spirit. The Father is the ground cause, the Son is the operating cause and the Spirit is the perfecting cause. The Father is not begotten but the Son is the first born, but he was begotten before the world was made and thats why he is co eternal and God as well. Christianity is the only religion with this claim and do not have a similarity with Islam, atleast Eastern Orthodox. God is absolutely transcendent in his essence but we can participate in his eternal energies, which is Goodness, Love, Power etc. No one has ever seen the face of God and what God is is completely unknowable. There is one essence and three persons. Christianity has more profound mystical writings then any other religion ive ever encountered. The Living God has revealed himself through divine revelation and he has revealed that he is both multiplicity and oneness and also transcends categories. I do enjoy other religions, but Christianity is the Absolute transformation of paganism and hellenism, it has been christinized, to call Christianity a pagan religion is totally absurd and shows they have no clue what they are talking about. God is the wholly other, radically transcendent but yet totally present, and the Son has two natures, both divine and human, and the one does not destroy the other, thats why Eastern Orthodox's salvation is Theosis, we become gods in participating in God's uncreated energies.

What, so he can cure cancer as well? Emotions are just as much a part of the human experience as your body. For some people, again, they're either infrequent, or they last a very short time, or they're easily inhibited, or they're experienced in a more subtle way. These factors may lead to the appearance that somebody is in fact not experiencing any emotions at all. However, if you're claiming that the most conscious beings on Earth are unable to register emotionally salient stimuli, that would in fact be a severe disadvantage, and if anything, a lack of consciousness. I don't believe that enlightenment involves the subtraction of basic human processes. It's a transformation and recontextualization.

I'm seeing a common pattern in all spiritual students these days (which includes most of my students). 'I've done lots of psychedelics. I have been meditating for a few years with relative consistency. I do have solid experiential glimpses of some of the insights spiritual teachers talk about. But I feel like no progress has been made 99% of any given day. No access to clear understanding and truth. My normal state of consciousness even after meditating is extremely poor. I don't know what to do and I'm starting to get sick of this perpetual cycle my mind dwells in.' First of all, let's get the essential ingredient out of the way. If you are working with wrong intentions, techniques and can't execute them exactly as the instructions ask you to, then you won't get anywhere even after 40 years of meditation. Make sure you get this right. It is the first step. But let's assume you do understand the instructions and know what exact skills you are developing and aiming for; so now what? The understanding of how the process of meditation unfolds - having some baseline skills - by itself, won't result in deep transformation. Potential for backsliding exists in each moment without permanent awakening. It is definitely a challenging aspect of this journey and you should smell the roses if you arrive at 'I can finally do this meditation thing. It actually unveils the illusions of my mind' but once that is circumvented, you need to actually do HOURS of high-level meditation back to back to consolidate insights, strengthen awareness and integrate the truth to each and every activity you enjoy doing. Absolute understanding will already integrate and consolidate the spiritual insights into daily life. But that process requires some nudging in the right directions via cultivation of healthy mental habits: The reduction of craving and self-perception. Also, contemplation will be needed in the future for further exploration. To do that, you cant 'half-ass' the training. Only after 4-8 hours straight high level practice daily will you start moving the needle and creating some inertia. ---- I'm a fairly laid-back guy and maybe some of the instructions I give may appear too 'rigid' or 'disciplined'. That is because to get any of the benefits of this path, you need to apply yourself. But you need to do this process with a smile on your face. After developing the baseline skills, you will have EXTREMELY high levels of motivation to meditate in each moment, in each activity. In fact, you'll sacrifice time you'd prefer indulging in your most enjoyable hobby to meditate more and enhance consciousness. After arriving at that pioint, keep riding the momentum and practice HOURS back to back each day. Go deeper and resist the temptation to rest on your accomplishments. You'll be glad you did. Hope this motivates some of you who are stuck in a rut. Maybe more attention to detail must be given by teachers letting students know how much they are missing out on by dwelling in 'normal' states of consciousness distorted by countless mental illusions. Much love, Arda

What is there to know? It is felt. You may ingest or inhale a physical appearance, but the real transformation occurs on an energetic level. The altering of the mind causes significant shift in the subtle energy of the body. You can easily feel how chakras are influenced by this, as they become aggressively active. Even kundalini may be activated on a trip with deep awakening. So you get massive energy shift in a matter of minutes. This is taxing the energy system, and the cause for depletion of energy that is usually felt a day after the trip. If you are tripping regularly, you should really really take care of your sleep, nutrition and general use and preservation of energy. Yoga and Meditation, for example, support this because they preserve the vitality of the body and reduce the activity of mind. Why do you think people can do Ayahuasca ceremonies at night, and not go to sleep and continue to the next day almost with no rest? The energy is flowing like crazy, even though the physical body is totally exhausted. This is why it is also hard to fall sleep hours after the trip. The after glow is just the continuation of the movement of energy, and it is hard to sleep when you are so energized. So Psychedelics cause an experience of high energy, but afterwards there is depletion and heaviness because the system is not used to such extreme activity.

On top of this, I see crazy levels of benefit in Shinzen's visual field techniques you can utilize in daily life. In Culadasa's term, he is stabilizing attention on the visual field (or letting it move around) while developing introspective awareness of sensations and mental states. The exact skills you need to maintain mindfulness in daily life. Even when the attention constantly moves around in daily life; that introspective of awareness of sensations and feelings are maintained and tied into the understanding of no-self, impermanence and suffering. This transformation is slowly but surely understood. Getting a little taste of all 3 characteristics while eyes open in the world absolutely transforms many assumptions and starts a new tier of spiritual development. So regardless of skill, doing almost any visual field technique is extremely important. Especially for us westerners who don't spend 12 hours eyes closed to develop introspective awareness.

@thisintegrated Nah Leo is INTP af bro wtf you mean. Alright, just playing, I know what you mean. In more recent times he appears far more stern and rigid. But if you traced the timeline of Leo though, and looked at all his videos and posts throughout the years, you'd see he's very broad in his scope. He goes from topic to topic, domain to domain, trying to connect the dots. His divergence and scope of thinking is very good. I'm an INTP too. But we don't always appear as our baseline types and biology, we have shadows as well, and changes in ourselves when we're in stress. If an INTP enters the shadow zone, they can pull out their ENTJ unconscious. I found the ENTJ in me years ago. But it goes deeper than that. If you dig into your demon function (Fi for intp), you can undergo a demonic transformation/ possession, and find your most unconscious aspects, connected to the collective unconscious. In that extreme case, an INTP would find their ISFP demon. And I most certainly found that demon from extreme stress. It's not healthy to let your unconscious or super ego personas dominate however. -- People have multiple sides to them, with ambiguity which can't be eliminated in the autism of mbti. Mbti is a retarded language game in truth, and if it gets popular, it becomes a stupid ass game of "self-awareness". An identity parasite, and identity becomes this commodity people engage in power games over. There are many stupid games of self-awareness out there (And through this "self-awareness", people pretend to be insightful and reflective, and what emerges is this false multispectivalism, where everyone just refers to their identity constantly and says 0 actual things) I'm in an online friendship circle where people know about mbti, and would you believe the types they were labelling me as! I had one guy call me ISFP because I was always in my feelings (he was trolling me though), I had another person call me INTJ, and then that same person calls me ESTP later down the line. -- If one does wish to do mbti however, I believe the only way it makes sense is to look at someone's baseline/neutral chatacter as how they were when they were a teen or young adult. This would be the starting soil as it were, from which changes then started to happen later.

Mind Control: MK Ultra: In the first place I have to mention MK Ultra. That was the name of the top secret research program carried out by the CIA during the Cold War. The CIA wanted to figure out how to control people's minds—how to mentally manipulate people (for example, to make them commit murder) or kill them without leaving a trace. CIA director Allen Dulles approved the secret project in April 1953. The second goal was the production of biological weapons. There had already been experiments with captured enemy soldiers and spies - now the experiments were carried out on a larger scale. Mind Control via Tavistock and the media : Many of the programming techniques perfected in these experiments are applied through the mass media. Mainstream news, movies, music videos, advertisements and television shows are designed using the most advanced data on human behavior ever compiled. Much of this comes from Monarch programming and other MK-Ultra programs It is about shaping and controlling the behavior of society and the mindsets and attitudes of the population itself. Therefore, they study the reaction patterns of the masses in order to get accurate predictions of future behavior. The average person believes that their opinions, worldviews and decisions are their own because they cannot and will not see the hidden hands of manipulation that shape their beliefs. Almost every major shift in the past hundred years, including music, politics, religion, social reform, and most notably the New Age movement, are undoubtedly facets of a hidden and insidious agenda that stretches back decades. This agenda is based on the fact that an individual will rather be fed and indulge in physical and emotional pleasures than face the truth and question things. It is better to believe a feel-good lie than to question it because it is uncomfortable and exhausting and requires the courage to swim against the tide. The Tavistok Institute of Human Realations (TIHR) is the think tank that governs all think tanks in the world. There they study the behavior of crowds and how the mass consciousness reacts to and might govern the environment. They call this mass consciousness swarm intelligence . So the individual will always follow the swarm. The programming of this mass consciousness happens primarily through the mass media. Through this one can reach all people. The committee has managed to control all major media areas. It can determine their content and filter out anything disruptive.Only what is useful to the committee is reported, and "outside the box" and other opinions are censored and removed by the big tech companies (Amazon, Apple, Google, Facebook and Microsoft). Even the most respected greats in all fields of science are muzzled and even undeniable facts are twisted or erased. Never before has the power of the mass media been shown to us so clearly as in this time of the plandemic . The trick is simple: the media need only repeat the same simple lies in all areas and allow no other statements and the population will undoubtedly believe them. In this way, lies acquire an irresistible aura of credibility. The Tavistock researchers found that when they use a variety of information sources, with messages that are slightly varied, there can be no sense of external control. This content needs to be made entertaining and engaging in some way, giving people the impression that they always have a choice between different news and sources, when it's always the same information that's being disseminated in a different guise (illusion of choice). The Tavistock network is global. It extends to the most important universities and commissions, such as the US Air Force Intelligence, Mont Pelerin Society, Trilateral Commission, the Ditchley Foundation and the Club of Rome. The above-mentioned goals of the committee were all worked out here. The goal of this network is the total transformation of society into a 2-class society of slaves and rulers. This is done through the staging of shock and chaos and the constant unconscious manipulation of values. With a budget of around USD 6 billion, it consists of 10 institutions, 400 subsidiaries and 3,000 working groups. Secretly, Tavistock runs powerful multinational corporations like the Rand Corp. (media, politics, commerce, health, education, defense), the Miter Corp . (defense, revenue, national security), the Stanford and Hudson Institutes , Institute for policy studies , Institute for the Future , National Training Laboratories, Brookings Institution , Plan and Research Corporation , International Institute for Applied Behavioral Sciences and of course the Council on Foreign Relations among others "Without Tavistock there would have been no World Wars I and II, the Bolshevik Revolution, the Korean, Vietnam, Serbia and Iraq wars." - John Coleman. The 10 strategies of manipulation: The well-known linguist Avram Noam Chomsky has described 10 strategies that Tavistock uses to manipulate society. I've added a few more: 1. Reverse Attention: The key element of controlling society is to divert the public's attention to non-essential events in order to distract them from important information about actual changes by the political and economic governing bodies. Thus, public opinion turns its back on the real problems of society, sprinkled and distracted by unimportant matters. Keep society busy, keep them busy, keep them busy so they don't have time to think about anything, on an animal level. For example with football, series, talk shows, celebrities, drugs, mobile phones, games and above all a 40-hour work week. 2. Create problems and provide the solution: This method is called "problem-reaction-solution". A problem or situation is created to elicit a response from the recipients, who then expect a pre-emptive course of action. Spread violence or incite bloody attacks so that society accepts a tightening of legal norms and laws at the expense of their own freedom. Or create an economic crisis to justify a radical curtailment of basic rights and the dismantling of social services. 3. Stage Changes Down: Gradually shift the boundaries of changes, step by step, year by year. Gradual accustoming to mass surveillance, malicious technology, cashless society, censorship, etc. 4. Postponing change: One must present a change as a "painful imperative" in order for society to allow it to be implemented in the future. Society has the naïve tendency to describe negative changes as "everything will be fine". This strategy gives citizens more time to become aware of the change and transform acceptance into a form of resignation. 5. Speak to the crowd as to little children: Only give arguments that children or people with intellectual disabilities can understand, and use a patronizing tone. Suggest to your listeners that they are little children. Then they will most likely react without criticism. This is how state paternalism works; the state tells you what is true and false and what you can and cannot put into your body. 6. Focus on emotions, not reflection: Use emotions to override common sense. Address the fears and basic needs and describe the danger everyone is in. 7. Try to keep society ignorant: The masses should not be able to see the methods and control techniques. Education should be as simple as possible so that the big picture is not comprehensible. The focus of education should be on individual facts, not on relating all subjects to one another and combining them in an overall concept (the big picture), i.e. only serving the left half of the brain so that the masses remain stupid. 8. Suggest to people that they are weak and helpless: The citizens should be convinced that they cannot see the connections and do not have the necessary specialist knowledge to trust the sole competence of the state. Get them used to reality shows and trivial entertainment. 9. Transform resistance into a feeling of bad conscience: Suggest to people that they are the only ones to blame for their lack of success because of their low intelligence and competence. They alone are to blame for all evil, not the state. Give them the feeling of powerlessness: "I can't do anything about it anyway, what's the point of a person." This leads to depression and a blockade of further action. And without action there is no change! 10. Know people better than they do themselves: At present the committee (Tavistock) knows people better than they know themselves and thus has greater control. 11. Use the instincts to hinder the development of personality: After 90 years of research, Tavistock's most important discovery is about children's sexuality. This has a major impact on personality development. Early sex stimulation produces adults whose emotional development is similar to that of a neurotic child. 12. Keep people in constant stressful situations: Tavistock researchers found that when people were under constant stress, they became increasingly childish and irrational. If only peer pressure becomes great enough, they will then give up all previously held beliefs in order to conform to public opinion. This explains why mainstream media insists so much on sex, violence and fear-inducing messages. We become terrified, submissive children trying to escape the stresses of everyday life through emotional masturbation—TV, radio, CDs, DVDs, movies, and video games. 13. Constantly influence them through the media: Westerners spend about four hours a day, the equivalent of two months a year, or nine years of life, mesmerized by a television, unaware of the effects this activity is having on them. You have almost stopped interacting with friends, neighbors, the community, and even family. She spends her free time in imaginary relationships with fictional characters on screen or mobile. A few US statistics will show us the extent of the phenomenon: 99% of households have at least one television; there are 2.24 TVs per family; the TV stays on 7 hours a day; 66% eat in front of their TV. Addiction starts right after birth, because 30% of children aged 0 to 1 year and 47% of 5 to 8 year olds have televisions in their rooms. A typical US child spends 3.5 minutes per week in meaningful conversation with a parent but 1680 minutes per week in front of the television. By the time they are 65, most people have seen 2,000,000,000 TV commercials. The entire world population has become addicted to television. It's like an addiction. Without TV and mobile phones, children in particular experience withdrawal symptoms that can be just as serious as those associated with drug or alcohol abuse. Media expert Hal Becker once said: "I know the secret to getting the average American to believe anything I want them to believe. Just let me control the TV…. You show something on TV and it becomes reality. When the world outside the TV contradicts the pictures, people try to change the world to match the pictures on the TV.” Tavistock studied the effects of television on human behavior as early as the 1940s. The researchers discovered that 30 seconds after starting to watch TV, the brain automatically starts generating alpha waves, an altered state of consciousness. The viewer goes into a trance-like mode, a kind of light hypnosis. Her full attention is focused on the screen while ignoring the rest of her surroundings. In this semi-conscious state, they become very vulnerable to the messages contained in the programs, especially the advertisements that are specifically created for that purpose. Television started to become popular in the 1950's and the elite has now accumulated more than 60 years of experience spanning over 3 generations. The results are overwhelming. People are no longer logical because their opinions and ideas come directly from television. The pictures confirm what you hear. This filter of TV opinion is automatically superimposed on their daily reality and they have become passive members of a networked society and can no longer think, speak or write logically. For them, images and knowledge are synonymous. In Europe, the proportion of violence on television is as high as in America. Statistics from 1988 showed that during a week of television viewers witnessed 670 murders, 15 rapes, 848 fights, 419 gunshots or explosions, 11 armed robberies, 8 suicides, 32 kidnappings, 27 scenes of torture, 9 defences, 13 strangulations and 11 scenes of war. And with the modern streaming of films like Netflix, Maxdome, Amazon etc. you can see such violence at any time of the day. 14. Work with the conspiracy theorist's stamp: The think tanks of Tavistock have managed that even the slightest doubt about the narrative spread through all media immediately leads to the stamp of the conspiracy theorist. It's called psychological warfare. Once the stamp is on the forehead, the person has lost all credibility and will not be listened to, or if they are, only to make fun of them. The stamp is also often used to silence people. After all, conspiracy 'theories' are only believed by uneducated idiots and you don't want to be one of them, so you better keep your mouth shut, even if questions come to your mind that the media can't explain. And anyway, if there were, then it would be in the newspaper after all, you get to hear. If you don't stop asking questions, the brainwashed will quickly react aggressively, feeling personally attacked in their identified beliefs. It is purely human that deep-seated, trained beliefs such as "the state only wants what is best for us", "the media always reports neutrally" or "we just have to choose the right party to change something" are difficult to give up and doubt these beliefs are difficult to bear. People just can't imagine being so massively betrayed by the state, even with the evidence in front of them. 15. Use "subliminal messages": The CIA was testing subliminal messages on the US public back in the 1960's. For example, the anthem, which was broadcast on television every day after the end of the broadcast, was provided with subliminal messages such as: TRUST THE US GOVERMENT, GOD IS REAL GOD IS WATCHING, REBELLION WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, OBEY CONSUME OBEY CONSUME. MK ULTRA. MK NAOMI. And that came late at night when most viewers' brains are already in the alpha wave state. Consumer groups and Disney have also used subliminal messages for many decades. 16. Post fake news trolls: In order to discredit the "conspiracy theorists", large agencies commissioned by Tavistock are working to place fake news trolls on the Internet, which will send the "conspiracy theorists" some made-up information that they are then supposed to ridicule. Destroying health and nature: "They" put fluoride in water, aluminum in deodorants, TiO2 in candy, genetically modified organisms (GMOs) in food, spray toxins on plants, feed animals hormones, flour and antibiotics, lower the water table, um Making soda is destroying forests around the world and the entire planet, vaporizing toxic gases into the atmosphere, polluting the seas and oceans with plastic waste and toxins, spraying chemtrails, infusing food with toxins and driving nutritional value to zero, provide medicine that only makes you sicker and ban really healthy remedies, destroy consciousness through constant exposure to radio waves (5G, WLAN), also systematically destroy the psyche through coercion, coercion and constant game and TV consumption, etc.to dumb people down, atrophy their consciousness, reduce their fertility and eliminate as many as possible through disease. Outlook: I am still not at the end of the committee's strategies for bringing about the New World Order. So next time I will talk about the use of biological and DNA weapons, bioengineering, neurochemistry and vaccination. But a clear picture is already emerging of the precision and years of planning with which this goal is being worked on. I hope that this information will help you, dear reader, to finally wake up and become aware of this cruel reality. Because only when we recognize the true reality can we do something about it. And we really have the power to do that. It is only a very small percentage below 1% who want to enslave us. Let's be among the 5% who will wake up the others to overthrow this tyranny.

The bitter truth is that mind and brain is such a complicated system is that their deep transformation requires mindfulness + emotional training + purification + sustained positive feedback loops + holding of clear intentions etc. Now you can try to do all of this process in 30 mins sit daily but that is not realistic when the rest 23 hours of the day is spent in pure unconsciousness of the truth. To make this process work, you commit to hours of deep meditation back to back and actually ENJOY the process of doing so. See, I think we need to step back a bit. People misunderstood the starting point of this article. You can't decide to meditate 4-5 hours both informal and formal continuously in any given day when each time you sit to meditate, your mind feels bored, resistant and unable to figure out how to actually be more conscious aka the natural state of all beginning meditators. The initial challenge is to develop enough consciousness in short bursts of training (30 mins - 1 hour), training attention and awareness to work harmonically, strengthening the ability to stay present and to know the states of the mind (frustration, boredom, joy) and to take correct mental actions with clear intentions to disrupt this habitual cycle. This simple process I've described above is already insane levels of training to your mind, strengthening conscious energy and power even if for mere 15 mins to do continuously. The problem is that you want to do that, but you simply don't have the skills yet to do it. Once your meditations arrive at this quality, you'll have an intuitive feeling along the lines of: 'Wow! Meditation is EXTREMELY healthy for my consciousness. It actually allows me to see consciousness for what it is, reducing self-perception at a greater level each sit. Literally truth is slowly unveiling in each moment at a deeper level. Im also suffering A LOT less and experiencing a LOT more joy and pleasure.' Then you spend some time doing your favourite activities with normal habitual forces (without mindfulness) and then introspect: 'My life is just incomparably better with mindfulness. What the hell was I doing? The obsessive quality of the mind is such a clear roadblock. It is better to integrate more of my formal session quality to cooking, jerking off and watching tv shows' That is where continuous multiple hours a day practice (both formal and informal) will get you to the next tier of development. You can have the same realization as a complete beginner but that won't take hold and signal enough parts of your complicated mind to change your perceptions and attitudes regarding meditation. You will want to love meditation but 95% of your other sub-minds won't be convinced. See, there is no actual alternative here. The alternative is spinning your wheels for 20 years, half assing meditation and literally having close to nothing at the end of those 20 years. Whatever emotional trauma you fear you need to face while committing this training (going on a retreat, disciplining yourself etc) is nothing compared to potentially lost 20 years you could utilize being more conscious of the truth. After a while, zero disciplining of any kind will be necessary. Your mind wont even process information like you used to. Absolute effortlessness will pervade each moment but until then, the so called 'self help' discipline will help you push through certain resistances until they don't. Thats when you make the switch to other methods that are useful and just keep on going. See, this process is fun. Your mind currently struggles so much with 'What the hell should I do in meditation' that you suck out all aspects of interest, joy and curiousity of the training that only pure torture is left. A feeling that your own mind generates and gets in the way of its progress, making the training 100x harder.