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Please convince me to die, because as I see it, there is no way to move forwards. My roots are cut, unbelievable. If only I knew in the past what I know now... if only I knew. Some people are disgusting and suffocating. I might be that to you, cause everything is relative. There is no way that I'll commit suicide. Simply no way. No because I'm afraid of the pain and of disappearing, but because I'm angry at many people and don't seea good reason why I should die, while they should have it all when I'm better than them.

I tripped on 10gr of dried mushrooms and also on huge amount of mycelium (yeah you can trip on Psylocibe Cubensis mycelium, it depends on a substrate it was colonizing tho) more then a dozen times, lost count long time ago. I don't think it can cause a suicide and stuff like this if you do it responsibly, slowly unceasing your dosage, writing teach trip down/contemplating afterwards and doing regular meditation in a strong determination sitting kind of way. Each huge increase in dosage gives the whole trip a new qualitative aspect. I think each increase by 3-5 grams makes mushroom trips qualitatively different in many aspects. Personally - I'm looking towards trying 15gr and eventually even 40gr of dried mushrooms.

A mental breakdown, trauma, or suicide. Basically any chem can do that at high enough doses. I generally keep my doses moderate, so that I can retain more of the trip. If you blast a high dose you will have an epic trip but you won't be able to retain or remember any of it. But lately I have been experimenting with higher doses. My experiments are not yet complete.

What's pretty sad though, is when i had a choice to pierce my heart and i did it. Everything was lead automatically to the truth. I was shown how sad the gods reality actually is, it's just like an infinite small vibration producing alot of heat what we call love in the total void. In that place there is only your thought that goes infinitely=creation and blackness all around for infinity. God operates automatically in that state and does actions that are best for him, that's why we are here because you don't want to be there. I was literally shown everything what all the quotes meant, what suicide is, how the reality of self is constructed, who are others, how dreams work and so on. So appreciate your life that you're here and just enjoy life without much thinking

data has shown a rise in minors reporting mental health problems https://imgur.com/LQErnFn https://imgur.com/3lq6BL0 It likely isn’t just being more likely to report it, as the rate of self harm and suicide has also increased https://imgur.com/QQSSVsU https://imgur.com/Mngt0SN https://imgur.com/jfsevzp https://imgur.com/zzrVE8m The risk factors seem to be being white, female, and liberal https://imgur.com/xznQzBM Interestingly, conservative girls report less depressive symptoms than liberal males https://imgur.com/xSeagrn What do you think is causing it, and what are the solutions?

I see that education could have a massive impact on the future of mankind. I have many ideas for courses in mind, but I am not sure how to implement them. I may have to build schools in order to make these ideas real. Here are a few ideas for courses in schools and colleges. emotional mastery and meditation Developmental psychology How to distinguish between real news and fake news. (Already starting and we need more of this.). Other courses focused on the philosophy of logic and epistemology can be included. Religious philosophy. This is interesting and useful for understanding many worldviews, but controversial because some religions want only one religion to be taught, but Satanists argue that all religions should be taught. I agree with the Satanist because it helps people learn critical thinking by comparing different belief systems. This unlikely to happen in today's society because of close mindedness toward Satanism. The history of white washing history. This includes slavery, holocaust denial, and one day it will include January 6th. It studies the way in which historical narratives are cherry picked or completely ignored in order to help people gain political power or to avoid accountability. White washing history can lead to future genocides of the previous genocide is denied or blamed on the same group. How to learn. This would be a game changer for education. One of the goals of these kinds of courses is to address our overly secularized society in which emotional mastery and spirituality are underestimated. This backfires on mankind in many ways including suicide rates which could be reduced through meditation and emotional mastery. Other ideas for reforming education include improving access to online education in rural areas of developed country and introducing this technology to under developed countries. This can be combined with reduced classroom sizes to improve the quality of education. How else should education be changed? What courses should be included? How do we make these ideas reality? Do we have to build our own schools in order to make this possible?

@Raze this is a good post that I can relate to. As a teen, I was diagnosed with depression. It is very rare to grow up with a functional family. Fatherlessness is Very high, and it leads to all kinds of psychological illnesses. Men are commonly pushed aside unfairly during child custody fights because of the assumption that women are better parents due to men being more likely to be criminals. In my case, my father really was a horrible person. He was a drug dealer who fled the state to avoid paying child support. Even so, a good father and a functioning family is necessary to avoid all kinds of mental illness, yet 1 in 4 Americans grow up without a father. I would imagine that for orphans this is even worse. Oftentimes women are not ready to have a child. This can certainly lead to dysfunctional families. For example, a woman could be a single mother due to unfortunate circumstances, yet she is not allowed to have an abortion. Sometimes this leads a child to constant hunger and the threat of homelessness. I would imagine that this child would have many psychological issues. The opioid crisis is another huge factor. Not only was my dad a drug dealer, but my mom was a drug addict as well. Sometimes mom would start falling asleep while standing up and picking at her skin. Very often she would get into fights with my step father causing destruction throughout the house. A rise in opioid addiction would certainly cause children a wide range of mental health issues. Alcoholism is certainly another factor. My depression started when I was very young and I was unhappy with life in general. I often wondered how it was that I existed at all. I didn't believe in religion because it was too constraining and holds people back from viewing life from many different perspectives. These underlying existential issues lead to a sense of meaninglessness and often suicidal thoughts. This is a big factor in widespread mental illness. It coincides with the decline of religion due to things like the sex scandals. As more and more people become divorced from religion, they may lose various psychological benefits which were provided through religion. If the psychological benefits of religion are good enough to prevent some people from committing suicide (which it is), then it makes sense that suicide rates would rising. As someone with autism, I felt like a social outcast when I failed to act the way everyone wanted me too. I felt like it was my fault for following my natural impulses that make me happy. This reinforced that belief that I do not deserve to be happy. People with autism have very high suicide rates, and the same is true for other neuro divergents like maybe schizophrenia or transgender people. Persecution against the mentally ill existed in all human civilizations since the dawn of time and it leads to things like insane asylums. Don't forget about heavy metals, pfas, and micro plastics. Our food and water is polluted and it is causing people brain damage. Sometimes people start wanting to shoot up a school, but when the brain damage is corrected, they lose this desire. Heavy metals are poorly understood, the epa and fda guidelines are severely outdated and there are carcinogens in our food, and the American standard diet is horrible anyway. This causes all kinds of mental and physical illnesses. As others mention, social media is certainly a huge factor. It messes with our brain chemistry and is addicting like crack. There have been studies done on things like porn addiction as well. It coincides with a sense of meaninglessness. America is a mentally ill nation. Just one of the things I mentioned above is enough to cause people depression, yet many of these are wrapped up into one for nearly everybody. Do not be surprised when so many people are committing suicide and we constantly feel socially isolated. It is no wonder that America is in the current state that it is. Maybe if you are referring to social media. This idea does not account for opioid addiction and fatherlessness.

Why is all-in a good startegy? He apparently fled failed the physical test and was enlisted by an error. Nicola Geier knew him, these are stories from retreats with Shinzen or from his aduibooks lol, she had to serve for Hitler and was also like me Germerican for simplicities sake. Hitler pushed her down the stairs according to the story and he was an real asshole. She and many other stream enteres can tell according from a "Jewish" person Shinzen, that he spoke from no-self at times. Basically stream-entry. Maybe Nicola Geiger reported this, yet these are stories from people closer to this time period. If he'd had real balls he'd commit suicide and apologize to this folk, for misleading them, maybe it was better with some technical knowledge, I don't know how much Germany had to pay back during WW1. Somehow she lived in Japan she called Shinzen Stefan, even if his real name is Steve. I don't think with that comment that and sorry for saying this you read any books in your life all your comments are based on authority and 0 wisdom and knowledge, neither anything of value that I don't already know as if have heared, it'll be some sort of regurgitation. That comment shows me why I will take everything in power to move to the U.S this level of blindless following. I respect every German who crossed their arms and did not make a "Hitlergruß" I dunno. I don't like technical details about history... it's fairly easy to remember them and the debate quality of the stuff, I never had a proper discussion, besides with a few more aware humans. As it's about the worldview and intuition for me. I checked some other stuff for me and good old hitty both being Infj tells me plenty about this guy's thinking, I dunno where you are going, without facts and data we are getting no where. I feel bad for him to let himself be tricked by his own mind. Understanding Hitler is a waste of time for me personally, I've had enough history lessons with straight A's about WW-2 it's such boring regulations. This has nothing to with facts, yet with understanding the mind. If you'd partially understood Hitler, you would feel bad for him like OP and have some heart for him to win the war. You comment legit showed me why I move my ass from Germany. I can't believe how sheepish this country is. As well as creat world domination, that is true authority like an arbiter. Trust me I most likely get more inspired watching this as you ever will. For me you lacka global view, I bet you also never lived in another country, nor seen a military facility.

This kinda gives suicide bombers/9/11-hijackers a whole different perspective. Surrendering yourself to God/Allah. I guess the fastest way to realize your true nature without all the hassle Lol.

There is no way out of this "mess" other than going in. The seperate identity is the sadness. What you are sad about fundamentally is your disconnection from God. Other people are in the same boat as you, and it does no service to feel sad about them not giving you the Love that your hearts wants. Its all an illussion, don't feel bad. Society is superficial. Living an egoic life is superficial. Everybody feels this lack deep down. Its all a game. All of it. But it is indeed perfect and if your take a look at it from a higher perspective it is so funny. And to all who have read this thread. Suicide is not the way out.

if you say so... But there are collective suicides, of sects where everyone commits suicide on the same day, of suicide fashions because they talk about it on the internet. there was even a fashion in the baroque, the wherter effect, for a goethe novel, as the protagonist committed suicide, many thought it was an elegant gesture and they committed suicide exactly like the guy in the novel. when kurt kobain commits suicide, the number of suicides in the world increases, etc.

Thats also what I intuited. But it was also in regards to physical death. The way Leo puts it is that every incarnation gets to Omniscience after physical death, which is not true from my understanding. That would mean that suicide in every situation would lead to this Ultimate Realization.

Its lot more complicated than that. God is not directly dreaming being a human. It is but what I mean is there are many layers to it. You have a physical body obsviously and than an energic body, astral body and a soul vehicle. The seperation doesn't begin with the ego but with the soul. Realization is the soul/individuated perspective returning to the source, which has always been here, but hiding in grids of illussions. Death is imaginary from the Absolute, but this insight doesn't free you. Obviously even going after absolute freedom is still a dream, God is way beyond that. But thats the game that is being played. What Leo is talking is not wrong per say, but don't get the idea that suicide leads to this realization.

Suicide Prevention Resource Center https://www.sprc.org › news › wom... Women's Suicide Rates Are Increasing Faster Than Men's. We Asked Experts Why Jun 22, 2018 — National data suggest that the suicide rate is rising faster among women than men. A recent report from the National Center for Health Mental Health Innovations https://mentalhealthinnovations.org › ... ONS report shows alarming rise in suicide rates among young women Startlingly, females aged 24 years or under have seen the largest increase in suicide rate since ONS records began in 1981. There were 3.6 deaths per 100,000 maxwell.syr.edu https://www.maxwell.syr.edu › article Suicide Rates Have Soared among Middle-Aged White Women in the US Overall, rates among white women are highest for those ages 45-54, reaching an unprecedented rate of 14.3 deaths per 100,000 white women in 2017. The

Yeah fair, I havent delved into the suicide statistics but I guess what would be relevant is whether men are killing themselves at a greater rate that women now or has it always been the same ratio? It's currently 75% of suicides are male. The other issue in terms of girls doing better than boys would be more pronounced now because girls are encouraged to do well at school and in academia where they wouldn't have been before. In fact there are a lot of programs to get women into different fields that they may not have considered before. Of course none of this is bad per se but it does mean more competition for boys that older generations wouldn't have had, meaning that it's harder than it would've been before, which is great in terms of getting the best people but it will leave some men purposeless. Having said that, masculinity crisis is probably exaggerated and overblown, I'm just pointing out that there are some things that have changed in society which will make some men feel a bit lost if they dont adapt.

I appreciate your answer but that's all just social media hysteria. 1950 suicide rate per 100k is 21 in 2016 its 21. Addiction, consider alcoholism say pre 1990, it's just been replaced by other drugs now. https://www.statista.com/statistics/187478/death-rate-from-suicide-in-the-us-by-gender-since-1950/ The Globe and Mail https://www.theglobeandmail.com › ... Girls have actually always done better than boys at school, study finds. But why? Apr 29, 2014 — In those stereotypically "male" subjects, girls have either performed just as well as boys, or do better. These results were not only

I wouldnt say its totally fake, it is true that boys are falling behind girls in school and of course there are higher suicide rates of men than women, men are more likely to be homeless, addicts etc. So there are definitely issues, I think most of them are due to society changing and men not wanting or not knowing how to change with it. It is difficult because there are so many factors conflicting, evolution, genetics, societal norms etc, before it was laid out pretty black and white whats expected of a man and a woman but now we're questioning if a 'man' is even a thing, what we have is freedom but we are all experiencing the anxiety of that freedom.

This is very sad. I don't see how a lot more men in America will be motivated enough to find self-help resources to improve their dating and sex life. More and more men in the US are getting mentally weaker by the day. I hope western countries don't have a serious decline in birth rates, a continuing increase in suicide rates murder rates because of all of this.

So, you're saying that there's nothing that any leader or any movement can do about this? Dude, the government had no choice but to bailout the banks. I don't like the fact that they did get bailed out, but if we did then we would've be in another Great Depression. Here's what happened during the Great Depression in the US (1929-1941) according to Wikipedia: - 13 million people became unemployed. In 1932, 34 million people belonged to families with no regular full-time wage earner. - Industrial production fell by nearly 45% between 1929 and 1932. - Homebuilding dropped by 80% between the years 1929 and 1932. - In the 1920s, the banking system in the U.S. was about $50 billion, which was about 50% of GDP. - From 1929 to 1932, about 5,000 banks went out of business. - By 1933, 11,000 of US 25,000 banks had failed. - Between 1929 and 1933, U.S. GDP fell around 30%; the stock market lost almost 90% of its value. - In 1929, the unemployment rate averaged 3%. - In Cleveland, the unemployment rate was 50%; in Toledo, Ohio, 80%. - One Soviet trading corporation in New York averaged 350 applications a day from Americans seeking jobs in the Soviet Union. - Over one million families lost their farms between 1930 and 1934. - Corporate profits dropped from $10 billion in 1929 to $1 billion in 1932. - Between 1929 and 1932, the income of the average American family was reduced by 40%. - Nine million savings accounts were wiped out between 1930 and 1933. - 273,000 families were evicted from their homes in 1932. - There were two million homeless people migrating around the country. - Over 60% of Americans were categorized as poor by the federal government in 1933. - In the last prosperous year (1929), there were 279,678 immigrants recorded, but in 1933 only 23,068 came to the U.S. - In the early 1930s, more people emigrated from the United States than immigrated to it. - With little economic activity there was scant demand for new coinage. No nickels or dimes were minted in 1932–33, no quarter dollars in 1931 or 1933, no half dollars from 1930 to 1932, and no silver dollars in the years 1929–33. - In 1932 deflation was 10.7 percent and real interest rate was 11.49 percent. - The U.S. government sponsored a Mexican Repatriation program which was intended to encourage people to voluntarily move to Mexico, but thousands, including many U.S. citizens, were deported against their will. Altogether about 400,000 Mexicans were repatriated.[84] - New York social workers reported that 25% of all schoolchildren were malnourished. In the mining counties of West Virginia, Illinois, Kentucky, and Pennsylvania, the proportion of malnourished children was perhaps as high as 90%. - Many people became ill with diseases such as tuberculosis (TB). - The 1930 U.S. Census determined the U.S. population to be 122,775,046. About 40% of the population was under 20 years old. - Suicide rates increased; however, life expectancy increased from about 57 years in 1929 to 63 in 1933. - The stock market lost almost 90% of its value over the course of four or more years. During the financial crisis (December 2007 to June 2009): - The unemployment rate peaked at 10% in October 2009 - real GDP contracted by 4.2% between Q4 2007 and Q2 2009. - industrial production fell by about 10.3% between 2007 to 2009. - stock market lost about 50% of its value from October 9, 2007 to March 9, 2009 - I don't think suicide rates, living conditions, and health issues were anywhere near as bad as they were during the Great Depression. So, what do you propose should've been done instead of having the big banks be bailed out? Again, Obama didn't achieve as much positive fundamental change for the country as Teddy Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, FDR, and LBJ did. This is because Obama didn't have as large of liberal majorities in both chambers of Congress as those 4 above mentioned presidents did. Obama also only had a supermajority of Democrats in both chambers of Congress for only 2 years. Plus, Obama was president during a relatively politically polarized era which caused a lot of the legislation he wanted to pass to be blocked by the asshole Republicans in Congress. Teddy Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, FDR, and LBJ on the other hand were presidents during eras of high bipartisan consensus and unity in the US, which allow them to pass a lot more reform laws for the country. Besides, don't you think that Obama accomplished more than any president since LBJ in the 1960s or Nixon in the 1970s (except for possibly Biden)?

It is absolutely stunning how this could be discussed openly in 2015. George Friedman (close to US intelligence) said in April 2015 at the Chicago Council: "the primordial interest of the United States over which for centuries we have fought wars, the first, second and cold war has been the relationship between Germany and Russia. Because united they are the only force that could threaten us, and to make sure that that doesn’t happen ... For the United States, the primordial fear is German technology and German capital, Russian natural resources and Russian manpower as the only combination that has for centuries scared the hell out of the United States. So how does this play out? Well, the USA has already put it’s cards on the table. It is the line from the Baltic’s to the Black Sea. For the Russians, their cards have always been on the table, they must have at least a neutral Ukraine, not a pro-western Ukraine. Now, whoever can tell me what the Germans are going to do is going to tell me about the next 20 years of history. But unfortunately the Germans haven’t made up their mind." Today we know the answer, the germans have been pressured and bullied by the US into economic suicide and de-industrialization, and are now staying silent while clearly knowing that the US shamelessly and openly bombed (directly or by proxy) their gas pipeline. The only role of the sanctions was to separate Russia and Germany, not to end the war. Nobody thought honestly that the russian state was going to go bankrupt, that was never the point of them. (In fact the opposite is happening now. Russia's revenue is growing.) The sanctions are working exactly as they were intended, to serve US interests at the cost of german interests. I expect the german people to rebel in the coming years because historically they have not reacted well to humiliation and submission like they are now being subjected by the US.

I would say that the real work is to see through the deception, totally, and realize the reality. where will this take you? it is not known. hardly anyone has really done it. will it make you happier? crazy? suicide? no one knows, because there is no one. they are part of the deception.

On Jan 30th, Leo Gura had his most explosive outburst towards a user yet: Here are some facts about the issue: This was indeed directed to the user of the created thread Leo Gura had made a prior comment before this outburst that received no reply, where he was speaking in his regular tone. No exchange was made in between these comments, nor was any comment deleted, proving that the outburst came out suddenly, unexpectedly, and completely out of the blue. The user was not being overblown, boastful, grandiose, or overstating with his/her claims about their awakening state to elicit this type of behavior, not that being like that would remotely justify this malicious behavior in the least. You can read the full outburst here and see the context for yourself: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/89530-awakened-now-what/?page=2 Leo Gura violated his own forum guidelines as shown below directly taken from: https://www.actualized.org/forum/guidelines/ #1 Rule: Don't Be A Jerk Speak to people with respect. Be conscious and kind. What’s NOT Allowed: Verbal abuse Calling members names like: stupid, idiot, moron, asshole, retard, evil, etc. Trash-talking, trolling, chronic criticism, blaming, or finger-pointing I checked in on the user myself to make sure he/she wasn't hurt, as the leader of the forum had just bullied this person, and had no idea the mental state and stability of the user, considering anyone here could be going through a very hard time and be easily pushed to the edge, but ignores this potential to pridefully "school" the user instead. Not to mention the very fact that venturing into this domain of spirituality can leave individuals frail, fragile, and on edge, as they could potentially be going through difficult things, like having they're notions of life or death put into question, leaving them more vulnerable than before. And the fact that users of the forum have committed suicide, the leadership of the forum was instead used to bully and point the finger. Also Leo takes assumption in the original message that the user was offended. "The reason you're offended and swarming around like fish because…" Where I verified with the user that he not offended, but more importantly, not hurt. Leo does this often with his users, as he assumes he knows the exact blueprint of completely unique and distinct individual, that display as faceless strangers on an internet forum. To make the matter more hypocritical, Leo Gura had just made posts within two weeks prior that he was looking to "crackdown" on toxicity, drama, and wants to increase the maturity of the forum. Featuring quotes such as: "I've been seeing a lot of needless drama, in-fighting, and toxic communication on this forum of late. This makes the whole ecosystem unpleasant for the majority of members who are decent, respectful, and follow the rules." https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/89049-notice-cleaning-up-forum-drama-toxicity/ "Thanks again to those who have been on good behavior from the beginning and never needed such warnings and reminders. I will also be making an effort to improve my communication with you to rise to the level of maturity, wisdom, and respect that you deserve." https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/89380-strict-crackdown-on-duplicate-accounts-immaturity/ "This forum will no longer be a safe haven for immature or emotionally unhinged people. Anyone not mature enough to communicate or socialize in a mentally-stable and integrous manner will simply not get to participate around me. If you cannot control your emotions, you're out. If you behave in an egotistical and dogmatic manner, you're out. If you attack other members of this community, you're out." https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/89380-strict-crackdown-on-duplicate-accounts-immaturity/ "Every time before you post, as you write your post, I want you to stop and ask yourself, "How is this post just me acting out my ego in the usual ways?", and "Is this post just me venting and justifying my selfishness?" https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/89066-reminder-of-why-youre-here/ On page 3 of the thread of the outburst, Leo Gura also continues with his maliciousness but directs it to another user: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/89530-awakened-now-what/?page=3

@Leo Gura How do you personally deal with demons? I have a friend who is interested in the spiritual path and she also wants to try psychedelics, specially lsd. But im scared she might go crazy since she says demons have spooked them in dreams and recently at her house. She is paranoid and is scared of getting stuck in a serious bad trip, specially with some demonic entity who might trick her into comitting suicide.

This is the best response so far. I think you're right. I mean I intuitively know that there are some (okay many) things I don't understand about spirituality. The longer I think about being completely alone the more okay I am with it, and the less I feel like I am a person in the conventional sense. I think that @Sincerity explained it well in another post. "Suicide is the only way to fully awaken, but god instilled me with fear (out of love) so that I don't do that" (not the exact quote btw). Anyway I'm glad there is someone here who both validates my negative experience and gives me the real way out.

Damn man you have to stop with these amazing comments, you’re providing too much value here ? So much value I’m actually considering suicide because of it. ?