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I found a story of a man who had a NDE and was the type of person that people would have issues with his world view and actions. So sit down get comfortable and listen to a story of transformation. Its powerful!! I love it!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAd_v4IfB5w

Yes, they catalyze personal transformation. But Peter's talking about enlightenment. Overall, I agree with your statement.

@JoeVolcano I'm more thinking about how you can actually make this society as great as possible. I have had the thought of yes if everyone's consciousness rose and everyone chose freely the kind of personal transformation you're talking about then yes of course it would be amazing and everyone would be happy etc, but for me it's kinda waste of time as it's not going to happen anytime soon, further to that humans just don't evolve in that way. Development is messy and takes long, as in thousands of years. Your perspective is that things could be much better, but that could and should always be the perspective throughout human history. Where we are now is built on what was down before and where will be in the future is built upon what we do today. Saying this society is terrible and not worth it because everyone is not fully conscious and aware is really absolving yourself of any responsibility.

@Consept Yes, I agree with that definition of yours, as it's a basic level of a trans person's self awareness, they have an internal image of themselves as a slightly to moderately different gender role than the biological sex of their physical bodies. My take on Transexuality generally, the second definition that makes it more metaphysical and spiritual and most people would be confused or lost in understanding, is that it means you are beyond sexuality. Similar meanings to transcendence, transformation, transpersonal, transpersonal psychology, trans-rational. 'Going Meta' also is similar as you are widening your scope to see much more than the context you were viewing from. At most, people would think you are talking about celibacy, or asexuality, but actually it's more radical than those two, as those two the mind has developed attachments to. A person whose truly transcended sexuality would be deeply detached to all things sexual and wouldn't be too bothered at all.

Looks like it was ignited by the birth of his child and therapy. That's a pretty incredible transformation. High levels of self-awareness that you wouldn't expect from someone who was a Nazi for that long.

Teal is just a representation of our side we are not healing or integrating. Rather blaming, judging and dismissing. She is just playing a role for us to see our darker sides. Ram Dass once said: "When someone passing through and spewing their crap on to us, that is their karma, but how we choose to act or react to that, is our karma." As: If we judge them, that is our own judgment to ourselves. But if we see them for what they do, willfully or not, and if we observe that, then that is our act of understanding towards our different aspects. As much as I want to shame her for it. I can see that I would probably have acted the same If I didn't go through the things I did in my life and seen the things I have seen. But if I were to have that erased and be entered to her reality, I would have been the same. Watching that video when she is telling stories about her childhood (don't know if they are true), but being "forced" to bathe in cow's blood and make out with other kids, at age 6 and being raped and molested. No wonder she is the way she is now, no matter how much healing work she has/hasn't done. By the looks of things, she is just gathering people in her life to show/mirror her different aspects, back to herself, and seeing if she can heal and integrate them. In whatever avatar and life story we go through when we enter this reality. What we get programmed with as a child and in our early adulthood, will deeply affect and shape us in the years to come. Unless we go through a self-deconstruction phase at some point, where we go through so many ego-deaths and have our many layers of identity peeled of like layers of an onion, it is just going to be hard to let those pieces go. And as long as we exist as finite selves, we are just going to have a few or many layers of ego. That is just how we can exist. I don't know if Teal has worked with psychedelics. But going through her shit in her life without any aid to show herself to herself so thoroughly (like with psychedelics) is real ballsy. So I got to give her that. Either way, reality will mirror what it does best, which is mirroring. So she is getting to heal and to work on herself, the way her reality is playing out. Having multiple ego-deaths, and going though phases of self/identity shedding (ouroboros style) will wash us of our different disfunctionalities. But not many are lucky to walk that path/direction. I don't know how awake she is. But as Ralston once said about enligtenment, "Don't expect transformation". I wish her the best.

a lot has been written here about the spiritual process and descriptions what it is and what it is not. you get soaked in for the wrong reason, you as an entity want some Kind of Liberation for yourself. either to be free from suffering or to experience something that is told to be sooo incredibly big brings blissfulness, peace and joy. In a way what you know right now seems to be not enough you don`t want to settle for it or you are just curious what that Thing is. then you learn about it intellectually and absorb an amount of descriptions & Information that is processed within your mind. You also learn that it includes you being not what you thought you are. You are creating an alternative model of how that could replace the old identity. But this is just hallucination even if you try to see everything as yourself and reflect that intellectually. You can be stuck in this state probably forever as it is very entertaining. next step is that you have an experience glimpse of that you are not what you thought you are. You find out that there is no person that could get enlightened or otherwise stay in the dark. The mind cannot grasp that and holds onto his picture and even fights against it. Or it hallucinates about being God and how good this "God mode" might feel and what it brings along for you. The mind is proven wrong again and again by experience and contemplation. A distance is establishing between you and your mind, you take it only seriously when it is inline with your experience or awareness and let it think what it wants otherwise. the Body/mind is understood as something that is like an awareness control Center and "seat or perspective of experience" but that is as "outside" or "inside" yourself as everything else that you can become Aware of. As the outer world comes closer, the inner world gets more distance and they are moving towards a merger. then there is no inside and outside, there is just "you". This seems to be the magical path as it can be somehow described also there might be a lack of logic. I understand that when I am not recognizing everything as myself from experience that I am not yet enlightened or awakened. It`s not something that can be missed. You can surely hallucinate about being enlightened but being far away from it, but you cannot be enlightened and not know it. It leaves you completely transformed whereas everything else are just some changes of identification. At the end stands your honest recognition of your true self through experience and releasing all fascinating hallucinations about it once and for all. so what or who is triggering the final Switch that cannot be reversed? What prevents us from pushing the button? Why can`t we let go what we created in an instant? It seems like we don`t want to take the toys of the Little kid that we are. OK we are spiritual, we take some toys but we hesitate to take all. Why? Probably because we are not conscious about the enormity of what we started just playing around with this enlightenment stuff? like playing with fire. It makes fun only as Long as you have the fire under Control even if it is a big fire. Letting everything burn happens either as an accident, as an act of Desperation or out of tremendous curiosity that makes you forget about all kind of consequences. That`s what we are aiming at right? as always, everything posted can just be words, even not my mother tongue, just thoughts, just concept. But questions are helpful as even experience can come out of posing it. (otherwise this talking is all nonsense and in fact it is in a way...) universal regards, Wendelin

In a 1st world democracy, it is mostly in their rights to pursue a transition in some states, and identify as a trans person in some places, but others it is tricky, especially if we throw in age of consent, and the major differences of the upbringing narrative of heterosexuality, traditional gender roles and it's function in society, compared to other forms of sexual narratives and other gender roles that's behind their mental representation systems. However, to me that's all superficial appearance, because there's a deeper truth that's related to their sexuality in their life experience, and their state of consciousness. Transexuality, as it means to me, is parts and the whole of the definition: we have trans, sex, and uality in this word. Trans is a prefix word to other words like transcendence, transcendental, transformation, transposition, transparency, transpersonal, transvers, translation and all the common meanings of these words denotes a going beyond, or going meta, away and above the following implied meanings of the root and suffixes of those words. Then we have sex, as in the act of procreation and reproduction in biological male and female bodies, exchange of biological fluids and genetic material for the formation of offspring who will inherit the mother and father's genes, which is deeply attached and tied to our survival as an ego, from the person level to group level. We finally have this strange word, uality, which is phonetically and literally open to interpretation, could be duality, or reality, or unity. So, to me, transsexuality is a state of being that is more freer from the attachments of sexuality normally common and enforced by the EGO, individual to collective, from mainstream culture. As a way of life, it's challenging, given the prolific heterosexual narrative of a culture seen in mainstream information ecology like in tv shows, movies, social media, news, social gatherings and events, life experiences in a city or village. Not to mention that if we factor in stages of development, cognitive and moral development, personality traits, ego development, other states of consciousness and being, and other life experiences, we end up with a trans perskn that doesn't fit into a simple box, but is a ckmplex entity onto itself. How can society standards and government adjust to trans person and integrate them into society, while managing varying degrees of backlash from different groups with different perspectives?

And I know you'll say how I'm a burden Yeah, do your worst, all at once I know what you want from me, from me I know what you're thinking And it's not the voice of all the others You've only said it to yourself I know what you want from me, from me I know what you're thinking, thinking... Lovecraft also had a lifelong interest in dreams, and many of his stories are the product of his dreams. The unconscious symbolizes the archetype of the unknown. The dreamlands in Lovecraft's world are windows into forbidden knowledge and forces beyond humanity's understanding. A vast, uncanny and incomprehensible dimension that can be answered through dreams. The dream cycle is a series of short stories and novellas by Lovecraft. One of the most noticeable of which is, the dream quest of unknown kadath - illustrating the scope and wonder of humankind's ability to dream. Everyone has their own dreamland but share a common general land of vision. And I know you'll say how I'm a burden Yeah, do your worst, all at once I know what you want from me, from me I know what you're thinking, thinking And though they sound like one another You've only said it to yourself I know what you want from me, from me I know what you're thinking, thinking... Lovecraft's stories are so bizarre that the average reader is stripped of all their preconceptions about reality, and even their sense of self. In the stories, the characters who fear the loss of individuality and attempt to preserve it are the ones who fall into madness. The concept of otherness, of the quality of being different, is important to be integrated. The self and the other are to be simultaneously accepted. In the story, through the gate of the silver key, the protagonist Randolph Carter, holds the silver key and opens the ultimate gate - there he sees his past and future selves, yet he also begins to see Carters in every known and suspected age of earth's history. These Carters are all equally himself. He even notes how each small decision alters who each of those Carters become in their own timelines. This omniscient awareness gives way to a loss of individuality - one learns that one is no longer a definite being - distinguished from other beings, therefore the other becomes just as worthy of acceptance and consideration as one's self. This is a transformation from paranoia to schizomadness. Concepts which are used as philosophical metaphors describing perceptions of one's identity, those with paranoia have an urge to align everything with their identity and disregard otherness. On the other hand, schizomadness refers to an integration of the unconscious, accepting other identities, beings and one's simultaneous place among them. This is also reminiscent of Carl Jung's approach of individuation, where one integrates one's unconscious content in order to advance towards the self, one must accept the loss of individuality by acknowledging that one is not the master of one's own house, but this is usually met with paranoid persistence. Through the reading of Lovecraft, the reader goes through their own anti-human becoming, a window into otherness unveils the monster as none other than one's self and the horror to change this is the only monster we are meant to conquer. In the outsider, Lovecraft tells the tale of a man who lives in solitude in a decaying dark castle and can't recall when or if he ever saw a living person. He decides to climb the tower into the unknown outer sky, since it was better to glimpse the sky and parish, then to live without ever seeing the light of day. He enters a window and is met with people who's faces were hideously distorted with fear, fleeing with horrible screams. The man trembles at the thought of what might be lurking near him unseen, he then sees a reflection. I know always that I am an outsider, a stranger in this century, and among those who are still men, this I have known ever since I have stretched out my fingers to the abomination within that great gilded frame, stretched out my fingers and touched a cold and unyielding surface of polished glass.

The best suggestion would be to find someone who specialises in nutritonal and lifestyle approach to cancer with an evidence based mindset who is also accustomed to working with herbs, supplements and natural remedies. In a cancer cure, a radical lifestyle transformation is often required. You could read about Dean Ornish and his prostate cancer approach, imo that is an alley worth exploring

I've never been diagnosed but I'm almost certain I have social anxiety, I experience a lot of the same things you do. One thing I've noticed is that I'm awful at socialising when I'm sober, but when I have a few drinks I can easily be the most sociable person in the room, and I actually enjoy socialising a lot when I'm tipsy. It's a very big transformation I'm not recommending alcohol as a solution, however it did show me that it's actually possible to enjoy talking to people and that has been very valuable The main difference mentally is that I'm not really afraid to express myself in that state, things enter my mind and I say them. Compared to when I'm sober and it feels like I have 10 filters something has to pass through before I allow myself to express it.

No doubt was Jackson an extremely racist slaveowner. However, his nationwide expansion of democracy to every white man in the country regardless of class, money, background, etc. was such a historic step forward for America that fundamentally changed all of society for the better right after the Jeffersonian era. I don't see how I am cherry picking dates and events, when each of those periods I mentioned in my first post all FUNDAMENTALLY REFORMED THE STRUCTURE OF ALL OF THE USA approximately every 10 to 30 years. Legalizing gay marriage in every state is definitely some kind of significant progress just like Obamacare and Dodd-Frank were too. However, all of those progressive wins along with every other positive smaller things that happened during the Obama era all together still didn't end up creating nearly as much progress for society as Teddy Roosevelt's Square Deal did or as much as Wilson's New Freedom agenda, or as much as the New Deal programs did, or as much as the Great society policies did. That's one major reason why many people including many liberals, many black and brown people, and many poor people in the US have felt like Obama let them all down. By no means were TR (Teddy Roosevelt), Wilson, FDR, and JFK/LBJ perfect, but I don't think that most people have ever really believed or said that any of those guys let them down when it came to domestic affairs. It's only been hard conservatives who have hated everything those presidents did. I mean our country desperately needs to undergo some kind of progressive historic transformation on the level that each of those legendary presidents were each able to accomplish during their times as president in the 1900s. I know that this hasn't happened since around 1969 because no liberal president since then has ever had the votes that either TR, Wilson, FDR, or LBJ had with Congress. But isn't there some way that we can get those massive amount of votes in both chambers of Congress needed for some kind liberal or progressive president who would be able and willing to pass a flood of new laws that would make dramatic structural reforms for America that people like me are talking about?

In this spiritual journey, you'll have to develop a 'no self' or 'no-I' palate for integrating spirituality in daily life. In simpler terms, this is the first time you can consciously reduce the sense of I, separation and craving levels to a noticeable degree where your state of consciousness changes. Once you feel the inklings of this transformation in your formal sessions (or daily life), I encourage you to go after it and replicate this insight experience over and over again. This is not the time to distract yourself with entertainment. Re-create the same circumstances - causes and conditions - which enabled you to reduce the sense of I looking at the world. --- How to Nurture This No-I Awareness: To reduce the shortcomings of open eyes and effectively practice, do the following: 1- Visual field strongly increases the illusion of duality and separateness. A self looking at the world. In daily life, whenever you are interacting with anything, looking at anything, allow the no-I perception to show its colors through reminding yourself the insight. You'll instantly recognize the same perception rearing its head by reducing craving, self perception and overall ease pervading your conscious experience. That is how you know you are doing it right. You'll also experience puny self-centered thoughts (planning, worrying etc) losing a lot of their pull over you. Do this each moment in daily life. Warning: This will feel quite disorienting. You might find it very challenging to walk straight or speak with people. This is the initial shock. It will get easier as the insight matures. Don't be too hard on yourself. Keep your energy levels high. Smile often to create a sense of ease. Then continue to maintain this no-I awareness each time you look at the world. This form of nurturing as a practice is absolutely essential for spiritual development. To reduce the shortcomings of closed eyes and effectively practice, do the following: 2- Make sure your body doesnt feel like a burden. Since closed eyes facilitate greater awareness of body sensations, thoughts and emotions, it is important to have enough equanimity, joy and tranquility to reduce the illusion of a self. Otherwise, closing your eyes and meditating will be more challenging than open-eye meditation. You need to nurture this awareness of no-I in both ways to experience insights. If you feel like there is not enough lubricating elements of samatha, then it is time to do more samatha prior to this insight process with closed eyes. --- Once you do this practice, slowly integrate your favorite hobbies and activities with open eyes. Be patient and do this every morning. I hope I don't have to say that you need to start your day with a strong formal session to enhance this awareness for the rest of the day If dullness or drowsiness sets in throughout the day, open your eyes and continue maintaining no-I awareness the best you can. If you are extremely fatigued, then take a nap and continue the practice. No need to force the mind to energize itself if it is too sleep-deprived. Much love,

In doing research for my business, I have been developing a list of qualities associated with authenticity. some of these are definitions that I have thought about and "come up with" but many of them coming from articles online. A concept of personality in the fields of psychology, existential psychotherapy, existential philosophy, and aesthetics In existentialism: Authenticity is the degree to which a persons actions are congruent with their values an desires, despite external pressures to social conformity. Authenticity in art: A work of art that is faithful to the values of the artist. Un the field of psychology: authenticity identifies a person living n accordance with their TRUE SELF, personal values, rather than according to the external demands of society, such as social conventions, duty, and tradition. Independent thought, thinking for ones self. Knowing ones self. Values Desires Strengths Avoiding herd mentality, standing alone. Reliable, accurate representation The individual takes responsibility for proactively shaping their beleifs, then the be willing to act on those beliefs. To say that something is authentic is to say that it is what it professes to be, or what it is reputed to be, in origin or authorship Authenticity describes a person who acts in accordance with desires, motives, ideals or beliefs that are not only hers (as opposed to someone else’s), but that also express who she really is. Integrated Whole True to ones self, for one's own benefit. Independent of external and psychological pressure. "Language of personal resonance" "Not just being involved in the authorship of such a law, but about how this law fits with the wholeness of a person’s life, and how or whether it expresses who the person is." - (Menke 2008) Inner connection Intuition Introspective examination of one’s inner motives, values, intentions and conscience. Inward and Upward. Becoming what one IS. Being ones Own. Owning up, owning what one does. Human being is a “relation of being”, a relation that obtains between what one is at any moment (the immediacy of the concrete present as it has evolved) and what one can and will be as the temporally extended unfolding or happening of life into an open realm of possibilities. To the extent that our lives are unowned or disowned, existence is inauthentic (uneigentlich), not our own (eigen). to realize the capacity for authenticity, one must undergo a personal transformation a relation between two aspects or dimensions making up human existence. Intrinsic motivation and desire. standing up for and standing behind what one does—as owning and owning up to one’s deeds as an agent in the world—becomes possible in this sort of resolute commitment to the “for the sake of which” of one’s existence Anything you would add to this list?

@Loba (Posting here, cuz thread got locked). I honestly don't think I could have ever recovered without your writings. Most of the content out there is in one direction, your contents is in another, and it stands out. It gives me the balance I'm looking for. At a surface level, one might think that you don't have a lot to offer, because you don't often flaunt much logical understanding that most people cater to and consume. But in reality, you do understand logic, better than most as I see it, and at the same time you see and understand patterns/non-logic, which is something not everyone is capable of. Actually, I don't know any people who are capable of the latter, let alone both together. The value I get from reading you is non-linear, so it's not like "Oh, yeah. That makes sense." It's more like "This doesn't make much sense logically at least for now, but maybe it will someday or in some other way." And so with time, it actually does. The alchemical transformation you talk about is legit, it has been since the early days of your older journal. Your writings showcase that in themselves and in others who read them (my experience at least), with time and patience and open-mindedness. You are a great writer, because you are genuine, honest, and have a great mind-heart-body integration. Thank you, honestly. Keep on doing what you love, even if the world is not ready for it yet, as long as it resonates with you. You're a goldmine. And if anyone is lucky enough, they will stumble on your journals and maybe they'll learn something if they are ready.

Carl, I have a question - do you keep report history available? Because that chick was goading me and the other dude into an argument nearly the whole day. I had reported those before asking my question here, and they were removed by either the girl or a mod, but I am not sure by who. This chick isn't some innocent bystander or anything like that, she surmised I was talking with someone by following them, and me around on this website and then started freaking out about it. Do these reports allow mods to see the whole picture before adding confusion to the fray? @Knowledge Hoarder Not so, try reading my recent journal entries, they're all about alchemical transformation, I use energy work to bring peace onto planet earth, you know very little about me. Now might be a good time to inform yourself. Or don't, I don't care one way or the other. Also, reported and blocked, goodbye little kid. @Gesundheit2 Thanks Ges. That actually means a lot to me. I feel that once they're done, they're pretty well-rounded and thought out but I was wondering if at the end of the day it was just a hobby for myself and only myself.

Fear of death is only for the ego and the separate self that think it is not a part of everything else. But passing this fear is and can be the hardest thing to do as a separate self. Because all your life, you have been buying in to this dream and everything about it. Including this thing called death. Fear of death is really a huge fear of having to be selfless, and stop caring only about yourself, and start caring about reality as a whole. The ego will hijack this truth with giving you/us a HUGE fear of death. Death is an illusion. But it is the roughest illusion there can ever be, because there Is so much stored up deception, thoughts, emotions, fear and a primordial weight around it. Even though I have been through my fear of death during 50+ trips, and thought I already moved past this. I was surprised few weeks ago during a DMT trip where I was being strangulated with love by God. Because I had asked so thoroughly what REAL AWAKENING was. And of course, it is behind this primordial fear of death. I went through the biggest trauma of my life. Because I had feared death since I was a child. I was becoming Infinite, while I was being choked to death by God. And the love of Reality. And I resisted it of course, because my fear of death was apparently greater than becoming one with God. Until a few days later where I told myself that I wasn't going to live with this fear anymore. I was so done with this crap. Having to fear this for 25+ years. I took 3-4 tabs of LSD and deliberately went in to a deep state of meditation, and stopped my heart. I passed out after that, and went through THE BIGGEST awakening ever. And saw the illusion of life, outside this dream. I was EVERYTHING. And my fear of death, was really my fear of being EVERYTHING. My fear of death, was owning it to myself that I was God. Or shall I say: There Is Only God. My body passed out for I don't know how long, while I was going through this transformation. And I became so Conscious that I became unconscious. I could have been there forever. But I didn't really know I was gone, until I came back. I returned to "my body" and It was the most surreal experience of my life. I'm still shocked that I am living and that I still Am. But I live with the joy of life and appreciation for what is. Rather than fearing what may be, or what will happen in the future.

Nice! One day I'll post my 9 year all natty transformation, both muscles and hairline ?

@thisintegrated He has no overarching structure or formulation enfolding (perceiving/prospecting); he has no true external objective (lack of judging). All of it, this project, is an internal process that is externally disoriented (Ti life purpose devoid of Fe, which is not a well-constructed and sensible Te plan) wherein he had described his entire catalogue of videos as documentation of his awakening and transformation (a Ti-exclusive illustration of this going on over time). He often is brought to tears through external people's emotions and meanings and traits (by naked images of other people or movies that other people have made, that being a signifier of Fe). This is all on top of the fact he actually scored as an INTP, which statistically points to him truly being one.

Notes: In alchemy Nigredo, or blackness means petrification of decomposition. It was believed by alchemists that the first steps towards to philosopher's stone required all the ingredients to be cleansed and cooked excessively to a uniform black matter, but what does this Nigredo phase mean for our physiological wellbeing? How does it operate in our unconscious? What are the implications of this process when viewed at the collective level? Is it the same as shadow work? What does the blackness represent? Let's uncover the truth to these and other questions. For Carl Jung the purpose of alchemy is to liberate the whole individual which is hidden in the darkness, threatened by the rational and correct conduct of life. Consequently experiencing themselves as hindered and on the wrong path, the Nigredo, or blackness was the initial stage of the alchemical process. It is the original dark chaos, also known as massa confusa, where all the elements were chaotically swirling around together. It could also represent the state of separations, where the elements were separated from one another. I could also represent the state of separation where the elements are separated from one another, in this state a union of opposites is needed and male and female lay together to produce a third. This third product of their union is marked for death and so the mourning period begins, the Nigredo phase. Putrefactio and mortifactio are two aspects of the Nigredo phase where the former means rotting and the later means killing. Here we see how this phase is closely associated with death, Saturn rules Nigredo phases, and the opposites that need unification are the sun and the moon. Let's not forget that Saturn is also the god of fertility, this means that the alchemical expression is a fertile earth expressed as a transformation as death into a new life. The head of a raven is another traditional name for the Nigredo phase. In the practice of analytical psychology, the term Nigredo becomes a metaphor for the dark night of the soul, when an individual confronts the shadow within himself. Carl Jung claims that the shadow personifies everything that the subject refuses to see in himself and represents a tight passage, a narrow door whose painful constriction, no one is spared who goes down to the deep well. When an individual makes an attempt to see his shadow he becomes aware of and often ashamed of those qualities and impulses he denies in himself, but can plainly see in others such things. This is a painful and lengthy work of self education. Alchemists projected their inner psychic contents to matter and their transformational practices concerning it, the Nigredo that was the black work of alchemists represented a critical involvements experienced by the ego until it accepts the newly formed equilibrium brought by the creation of the self. For Jungians the Nigredo phase could be interpreted in two mains ways: First - the subject is unaware of the unconscious i.e. the connection with the instincts. Nigredo here makes the subject bringing about awareness to his unconscious. Second - says that the Nigredo is a part of the individuation process which is subjectively experienced and brought about by the subjects growing painful awareness of his shadow aspects. It is a prerequisite for personal development. As the individuation unfolds, the confrontation with the shadow produces at first a dead balance, a standstill that hampers moral decision and makes convictions ineffective or impossible - Negredo; chaos, melancholia. Melancholy can arise when working on ones self, the alchemists advice music to leave the alive the soul. The Nigredo phase is followed by deep emotions, it is slow, repetitive, difficult, dissecting, effortful, severe and pulverizing. Allthewhile the worker enters a Nigredo state; depressed, confused, anguished and subject to pessimistic even paranoid thoughts of sickness, failure and death. Mourning is caused by the loss of an object or person who carried an important projected value, and in order to withdraw projections and assimilate their content into one's own personality, it is necessary to experience the loss of the projected as a prelude to rediscovering the content or value within, therefore mourners are fortunate because they are involved in a growth process. They will be comforted when the lost projected value has been recovered within the psyche. This is the darkest time of despair and disillusionment. All of this gives the power for the enantiodromia to take place where the Nigredo phase gives way to the Albedo phase, where the decent into the unconscious suddenly becomes an illumination from the psychic realms above. Enantiodromia: Jung describes it as an emergence of the unconscious opposite in the course of time, this characteristic phenomenon always occurs when an extreme one sided tendency dominates conscious life. In time an equally powerful counter-position is built up, which first inhibits the conscious performance and subsequently breaks through the conscious control. When it comes to the colour black - it carries the meanings of the random and the formless, like a black hole it sucks into it and makes vanish the fundamental security structures of a Western consciousness, by abstaining colour, black prevents phenomena from presenting their virtues. Black's deconstruction of any positivity, experienced as doubt, negative thinking, suspicious, undoing, valuelessness, explains why the Nigredo is necessary to every paradigm shift. On the mythological level Nigredo represents the difficulties that men needed to overcome on the Hero's Journey. Alchemists said that the Nigredo stage lasts 40 days. 40 days has a symbolic value. Jesus fasted for 40 days in the desert. St. Antonius spent 40 days in the Sahara desert being plagued by visions. The Israelites wandered for 40 days in the desert and there are 40 days of fasting between Easter and the Ascension day. When it comes to literary works, the raven, but Edgar Allen Poe and Shakespeare's Ophelia come to mind. In the birth of the Red Book entitled, "Decent into the Hell in the Future", we find the following dark passage: I see a grey rock face along, which I sink into great depths, I stand in black dirt, up to my ankles in a dark cave, shadows sweep over me, I am seized by fear but I know I must go in. I crawl through a narrow crack in the rock and reach an inner cave whose bottom is covered in black water, but beyond this I catch a glimpse of an illuminated red stone which I must reach, I wade through the muddy water. The cave is full of the frightful noise and shrieking voices. I take the stone. It covers a dark opening in the rock. I hold the stone in my hand, peering around inquiry. I do not want to listen to the voices, they keep my away but I want to know. Here something wants to be uttered. I place my ear to the opening. I hear the flow of underground waters. I see the bloody head of a man in the dark stream, someone wounded, someone slain floats there. I take this image for a long time, shuddering. I see a large black scarab floating past on the dark stream, in the deepest reach of the stream shines a red sun, radiating through the dark water, there I see and the terror seizes me. Small serpents in the dark rock walls, striding towards the depths where the sun shines, a thousand serpents crowd around, veiling the sun, deep night falls. A red stream of blood, thick, red blood springs up, surging for a long time, then ebbing. I am seized by fear. What did I see? In conclusion, a Nigredo phase is a psychological process that can be also viewed as shadow work. Here a problem is given full attention by being reduced to its core. It is not done purely in an intellectual manner, but in an emotional one. Confrontation with our inner reality is often painful and can lead to extreme states of feeling. This confrontation makes us understand what we project to others and the world. It makes us become aware of our own darkness. Only through this process where our false ideas and beliefs are burned away do be become aware of what we really are, as Nigredo is the first stage of the individuation process which alchemists believe to be the making of the philosopher's stone - lead to gold, psychologically and spiritually.

You are naturally attracted to the specific forms or types of information, tools and techniques which align with your current belief systems, in order to guide yourself through the awakenings that are most relevant for you specifically. But do understand that only you yourself possess the creative power to change anything, you are the only source of power. You choose to label, interpret, give meaning to or decide to utilise the imagined effect of some kind of external tool or methodology in order to give yourself permission to experience the desired inner growth, expansion or awakening about your true divine nature of reality and experience. Bashar very clearly explains this understanding in this clip about what he terms 'permission slips': This fundamental understanding will help anyone greatly on their unique path of awakening when truly applied to physical daily life experience. I highly recommend listening to this explanation of how all tools, ideas, objects, philosophies etc. operate in our consciousness by what they represent to us personally and how we interact with them psychically, It is of no importance what type of 'permission slip' you choose to embrace in order to allow yourself the experience of the transformation or awakening you desire. Like Leo already answered: experiment, discover and explore whatever works for you currently by trusting your intuition, sense of alignment, flow, passion, highest excitement, following your heart's intelligence or higher guidance to tune yourself vibrationally. A very common pitfall for many is projecting way too much power onto some illusory thing that is inherently meaningless or neutral, apart from the meaning you as the creator give it. Which can quickly become a limiting perspective, belief or identification when you have naturally integrated the specific wisdom or consciousness that certain approach symbolised for you, and are now ready for the next level or dimension of your self realisation. Therefore it is wise to always stay open and receptive in order to at least notice the energetic resonance, synchronicities, intuitive messages and new inspiration that might currently be much more valuable and relevant than all previously believed in or identified with forms, ideas, substances, tools, methodologies, philosophies etc. Everything is always changing, you are always changing, always discovering, exploring, deciding, giving meaning to, creating, but also supporting, guiding, inviting and enlightening yourself from a higher or different point of view. The actual creative challenge you have given yourself with this current incarnation could for example be expressed as: How can I allow myself to be more fully enjoying this apparent contrast and my life experience? What does speak to my imagination or inspires me the most? Who do I truly wish to be or what type of energy do I want to radiate? To which topic or perspective do I wish to contribute? What do I regard as valuable and wish to represent or share with other selves?

@Leo Gura In all honestly Leo I don't mind that answer, and I'm not suggesting that you're wrong. I acknowledge that there is significant depth to what you have to teach, that's why I'm participating on your forum and asking you questions. I'm not trying to bother you. If I didn't have respect for you, I wouldn't be here. Despite what you may think, I bet I've spent as much time listening to and contemplating your videos (at least within the time since I discovered you) as anyone else here. But, you must admit that what you've said thus far doesn't demonstrate that you have a superior understanding of Advaita Vedanta, or any understanding whatsoever. Nor does it settle precisely how you think I'm misrepresenting the teachings. My questions to you are not rhetorical, and they are not presented in bad faith. I'm a genuine person asking you genuine questions, and although you make it unbelievably difficult to have a mature/productive conversation, I'm willing to put that aside to see what I might learn. I'm more open-minded than you may think. You must at minimum concede that you know very little about me, and yet assume so much. Aren't you the guy with the video on how assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups? So, if you're unwilling to address my questions then so be it, but if you change your mind and feel up for the challenge of actually bringing some rigor to your criticisms of how I and/or Shambhu have misunderstood the true Advaita Vedanta, then I'm all ears, and I'll gladly open my mind to what you have to say. That is a promise. Furthermore, it's not like Vedanta is just one teaching. There are many schools, many ways of thought, many lines of argumentation, and many interpretations. The notion of immutability comes from the Vivartavada and Ajatavada theories. Not all schools of Vedanta adhere to this way of thought, and although there are many schools of Advaita Vedanta, you will typically find agreement amongst Advaitins regarding Brahman as immutable. It sounds to me that you may resonate more with the Parinamavada, which is the notion that the world is a real transformation (Parinama) of Brahman. Where as in contrast, Vivartavata is the notion that the world is merely an unreal manifestation (Vivarta) of Brahman. Vivartavada states that although Brahman appears to undergo a transformation, no real change takes place. The myriad of beings are unreal manifestation, as the only real being is Brahman, that ultimate reality which is unborn, unchanging, and entirely without parts. Ajatavada is similar but slightly more radical, and is favored by the Neo-Advaitins. This is where they get the idea that nothing ever happened. It was famously expounded by Gaudapada (Shankara's guru's guru) in his Karika on Mandukya Upanishad. Ok, will you consider a healthy discussion with me? I'd be very grateful. I assure you, I'm not looking for an argument here. I have no interest in lecturing you, on the contrary, I'm asking you to lecture me. What is your precise understanding of Advaita Vedanta? And how does it relate and/or contrast to what you've discovered directly via awakening? This is what I want to ask you. Thanks for your consideration.

Yes they definitely can. And I am speaking from experience, also from what I have seen in others. But so can LSD. It too can open up the heart. It just depends on what your intentions are going in with. But mushrooms tend to deliver the punch a bit ruthlessly, at times Set and setting is key here, for these types of trips. Put on some comfy clothes, prepare some fruity snacks, and a lot of water. Put on some relaxing meditation music of your choice (preferably something that touches your heart) and just dive deep in to yourself. It depends on how much you give in to it. How fearlessly you are willing to face everything that is no longer serving you as a being. Inquire deep in to yourself: Do I want to be capable of being more emphatic towards myself and others? Am I willing to stop telling this story about myself? What do I have to give up about myself, to integrate this aspect of myself? Am I ready to face myself? Am I ready for change? What does it mean to open my heart? What am I missing here? What am I running away from: By being cold, distant and not connecting with others, on an emotional level? Is this just a programming I have received from people close to me? Have I received the emotional connection from others, when I have been in a rough/tough situation? And what did it look like when someone connected to me deeply? What did I feel when I was seen? The trip is just going to be there as a catalyst and a helping hand. You still have to take the necessary steps to go beyond your programs, lies, fears and illusions. Maybe try to have someone trip sit for you, if you think it might go out of hand, and if you don't trust yourself. But the more you own it yourself, the better the transformation will be. Edit: (Regarding autism: I have no first hand experience of this, but have been friends with a guy who has autism/asberger. And he absolutely hated taking psychedelics. He resisted the whole thing and it made him worse. Mostly because of his traumas. So don't take my word on this matter, this is just from my experience and others who I have observed. Take everything that is said here, with a grain of salt.) I am no professional when it comes to autism/asberger + psychedelics.

I too had my first major awakening at 19 lol. I was in deep existential crisis then and thanks to huge psychological suffering and victimhood I had this one year of strong motivation of digging and digging. Then synchronistically "Power of Now" by Eckhart showed up and half year later Jed Mckenna. And of course daily meditation before and after high school. And then one day the universe went silent for 5 minutes and disappeared. But I still had rigid atheistic, logical, materialist mind so after that began the Spiritual transformation of the character that is taking place to this date. Really only after 2 years after that glimpse and after taking 5g of shrooms I really viscerally believed in God (as I). So I would say that this existential dread comes in waves, and it is different for each person. But the end of high school, end of your twenties, mid-life crisis all seem potent to create suffering deep enough to have the motivation to strip away the ego.

Hi everyone, I have been listening to a series of Bonnie Greenwell interviews lately and one of the topics that keep coming up, is how in India, Kundalini is perceived as a goddess. Another one that has popped up repeatedly is the sexual nature of Kundalini. I have a bit of personal experience with both aspects, so whilst I wrote about this before, I would like to provide a more detailed and personal look at how the two are connected. This is going to get weird, so brace yourselves. So, I’ve hinted at my story here and there, with more details provided on my youtube, but I never really tied the different strands together and I feel it is important to do so now, as listening to these interviews have crystallised some concepts and connections that I only really felt intuitively before, but now I have become conscious of them. It’s always difficult to provide enough background information, without taking up too much space, but I’ll do my best. I am really uncomfortable writing about this topic, as it tends to ruffle so many feathers, but I feel it needs to be done anyway, as my own unique story could actually provide some clarity on topics that may have been unclear before. All of us, who have awakened Kundalini have such a unique perspective and we all arrived where we are from very different backgrounds, via different routes, and if we each provide our story to the spiritual community and the wider world, we will contribute to completing the puzzle, the greatest one there ever was, about the mysteries of the universe and the true nature of existence. So, it is often said, that Kundalini is a goddess, yet she is also Shakti, a cosmic, all-pervading force in the universe, but locally, she is also sex energy (libido as Freud would call it, having learnt about Kundalini from his friend, Jung) and as Bonnie Greenwell points out in her works, she is in fact the very creative force that creates life upon conception, it is root energy. The Hindus believe that Kundalini is what germinates life upon conception, it is what creates the blueprint for the organism to grow and is the energy and intelligence behind cellular growth and the creation of full-blown multi-cell organisms. This energy is provided by the explosive energy of orgasm upon conception and is usually drawn from the father, though the exact process is unclear. Ancient civilisations were well aware of the importance of this process and conceptualised the act of creation via orgasmic release through various fertility gods and goddesses. In India, the god of fertility is Shiva, and one of her wives, either Parvati or Durga is seen as the goddess of fertility. The former presents a more benign, loving, aspect, whereas the latter is fiercer and more warlike. Thousands of years before Hindu gods arrived on the scene, if mainstream archeological timelines are to be believed (and there is always some speculation and conjecture involved), in the first civilisation known to us, Sumer in Mesopotamia, the very first concepts underlying our current civilisation were being developed. Almost everything we associate with civilisation, whether writing, calculus, astronomy, agriculture, irrigation, architecture, calendars, timekeeping etc… was invented by the Sumerians, more than 6000 years ago. They seemingly came out of nowhere and developed all these high civilisational tools and achievements with no other civilisation to precede them. In their own records, they claim that the gifts of civilisation were bestowed upon them by their gods, whom they called Anunna, indicating that they were descended from the Sky God, AN , and were all various offspring of his marriage to KI, the Earth Goddess and mother of all gods (also known as Ninhursag), who, to honour this fact, were also sometimes referred to as the ANunnaKI. The chief God of Fertility was Enki, who was also associated with water and fish, whereas the goddess responsible for the sexual act itself, in order to create life and fertilise the whole of the earth, make plants grow, animals reproduce, etc… was known as Inanna (also Inana, later Ishtar) who was believed to be even more powerful than Enki in mythology, even though they had a familial relationship, where they often relied upon and helped each other. It was said that when Inanna descended into the underworld, life upon the surface of the earth would stop, plants would not grow, animals would not reproduce, her power over sexuality was seen as the fundamental force behind nature, which allowed its growth and replenishment and the cycle of life to continue. She had a dual nature to her as she was also the Goddess of War, riding into battle on the back of a lion, sporting an array of distinctive weapons and with various supernatural powers that have no doubt provided inspiration for the modern portrayal of superheroes. This has been acknowledged by the latest iteration of Wonder Woman, who carries her symbol, the 8-pointed star of Ishtar, representing the planet Venus (also a Roman Goddess heavily influenced by her mythology) on her forehead. If you thought that a fierce warrior goddess, riding a lion, slaying her enemies and being associated with sexuality sounded familiar, you’d be right, she has equivalents in many subsequent cultures, where some or all of her aspects and attributes were syncretised into local goddesses. Some, like Aphrodite, Venus or Astarte are no longer worshipped, whereas others, chiefly the Hindu Goddess Durga, still are. I bring up Durga here, because some scholars have established a link between these two very similar goddesses and have linked them both back to the Parthian Nana, who in the Indus Valley became known as Nana Devi. She is recognised as one of the 108 official forms of Shakti and now seen as an ancient form of Durga, from whom she inherited most of her attributes, including her fierce, war-like nature (she is the slayer of the demons of ignorance, symbolically) and her marriage to Shiva, providing the counterpoint to his role as the god of fertility and thus creation. Keep in mind, that in most strands of Hinduism, Durga is honoured as the primary form of Shakti and all this will soon start to make sense. So, apologies, if I had to get to my point in a convoluted manner, but it is relevant to the story I’m telling and it cannot be understood without this mythological and philosophical background. The point here, as often expressed in Shaktism, a major branch of Hinduism, that puts goddess-worship at the forefront, is that all these different names and forms for the Goddess are not what matters, for the force, the intelligence behind it, is essentially the same, different flavours of the same Shakti. And this Shakti is behind the creation, sustenance, rejuvenation and continuation of life, it is responsible for evolution, the creation of new species and allowing existing species to step on to the next rung of the evolutionary ladder. We may have different names and forms for her, we conceptualise her differently depending on our cultural background, but all of her different forms stem from the same underlying intelligence, she is the essence of all life and in this sense, the Divine Mother that gives life to all, not literally, but in a manner of speaking. This also explains, why Shakti has her own drive and initiative, her own goals and agenda, which is the continuation of life on earth and the evolution of all species, but on this planet, the human form in particular, towards a higher form, to reach its full potential and achieve self-realisation. That is why, when she activates in us as Kundalini, her primary goal is our transformation and evolution. There is no difference between her myriad forms, they all share one divine cosmic consciousness, we only perceive them to be different due to the limitations of our senses. So, you may ask, why did I bring the Sumerians into this, isn’t the picture already complicated enough without them? I had to do this, because it informs my own story and is of personal relevance to me. You see, when my Kundalini first started rising, back around 2010, I was an atheist, though I maintained a keen interest in spirituality from early childhood and had always known that subtle energies and souls were real, I also maintained somewhat of an on-again, off-again meditative practice. Living in London at the time, I visited the British Museum regularly and became fascinated with the Mesopotamian Exhibits, not least the Uruk collection, which was excavated from Inanna’s holy city and the Burney Relief, which is said to be a depiction of her. Concurrent to my visits and interest in Mesopotamian culture and mythology, my Kundalini started rising, first as heat at the base of my spine and then gradually cleared the first three chakras in a gentle and painless manner, bringing up the requisite past unresolved issues and memories, I was supposed to deal with. The problems started when the energy hit my heart chakra and was unable to clear it and break through. I felt chest pain and in time developed heart palpitations, anxiety, heavy breathing and neurological problems. Having been pretty much an atheist up to that point (I was brought up as a Roman Catholic prior to that, but also had some exposure to Hinduism, when I lived in India as a child), my only solace from the increasingly troublesome collection of Kundalini symptoms was during my regular meditative sessions in the Cathedral Gardens, next to St Paul’s, the river Thames in general and my frequent visits to the British Museum and the associated reading areas where I delved into Mesopotamian Mythology with growing interest. It was as if the artefacts from all those millennia ago were calling to me and I felt an energetic connection developing, particularly with the artefacts depicting the gods Enki and Inanna. In some myths, they are Father and Daughter, in others they are Husband and Wife, in yet others, they are Uncle and Niece, but their relationship is central to Mesopotamian mythology and they represent a very important male-female duality, where their strengths complement each other. One day, I was feeling particularly “unwhole” and suffering from Kundalini Syndrome. As I was walking towards the Cathedral Gardens at St Paul’s from my City office, it occurred to me, that these ancient gods I had been so intently studying, weren’t just myths, but perhaps they were very real beings and could be prayed to and applied to for help. I looked towards the majestic dome of St Paul’s Cathedral and thought, well, I have nothing to lose, if I ask for help, so I might as well. I closed my eyes and imagined the god Enki as depicted on a particular relief in the Museum and asked for his help. I told him, he was known as the creator and greatest helper of humanity, most gracious amongst the gods and most likely to take pity on any mortal that might need his help. I asked him to send any help he can and having read about the concept of guardian deities or spirits beforehand, even suggested he might send someone to assist me with my Kundalini issues in person. Immediately, I felt a huge download of energy. It was as if the skies had opened up (being London, it was grey and overcast) and some sort of beam or ray of energy descended from the sky, straight into my crown chakra and suffused my entire being. It felt like I was filled with light and had received a gift of divine grace. I immediately felt better and felt hopeful for the future. The next day, as I was washing up, a light appeared behind me, as bright and hot as a second sun and white in colour, accompanied by a sound of beautiful radiance. It had a female presence, immense intelligence, grace and emanated pure love. Within her energy field, time seems to have stopped or slowed down immensely, the outside world appeared like a mere shadow and looked unreal. Only she and I existed in that moment, everything else was a mere projection on a wall. Nothing has ever felt so real up to the point and so-called reality never felt so unreal. It was as if the colour, the flavour had gone out of it and it had gone pale and lifeless, so incredible was her shining and radiance, illuminating everything around her with the light of a thousand suns. Without words, this being of pure light energy floated towards me and communicated that she would like to heal me and touch me, in a way asking for permission, I suppose. She touched my back, at the level of the heart chakra and this touch felt real, like that of a human woman. She gave me shaktipat, which is what I later discovered, this transmission of energy is called, unblocked my heart and caused the energy to shoot up and flood all the nadis as it passed through the heart. I felt the need to lie down and allow Kundalini to do its thing, so I went to my room and that’s what I did. I started thrashing around and having various kriyas as the energy shot up, taking only a few minutes each to clear each of the upper chakras. When it got to ajna chakra and then past it, I felt a rhythmic thud at the top of my skull, towards the back part, as if the energy was trying to escape and break through, but couldn’t. This final knot, in the Brahmarendra, just below the crown is the last one and again I was getting the constrained feeling like I did when the energy was stuck below the heart. However, Inanna was still there, in the kitchen and as I was having this experience, she gracefully floated into my room, emanating this white-silvery light everywhere and giving the impression that she had tendrils of light extending from her in all directions, with which she was able to caress and touch me. She then floated on top of me, as I was lying in bed and started enveloping me in her light and I even felt like someone sat on me, with not much, but still noticeable weight, which to be honest, felt rather sexual, as is often the case when kundalini is involved. I have since seen many depictions of tantric goddesses sitting atop devotees in an act of tantric union in Buddhist art, especially in Tibet, so I’m guessing this is pretty universal. Not for nothing is Inanna known as the Goddess of (sexual) Love. In this tantric union, which really felt like an act of divine lovemaking, our beings slowly merged and became one. She gave me her energy and I felt my Kundalini finally shooting up with such force that it broke through the last knot and it felt like, my actual skull, with an audible crack, which sounded like a bone breaking. I have only recently discovered, that this moment is known as the breaking of the cosmic egg (Hiranyagarbha), which is accompanied by the release of the yolk, known as Amrita, which floods the body. The way I experienced it, was that after the breaking of the cosmic egg, the serpent finally escaped and as it exited the skull, it felt like it was peeking out from just above me, eventually coming to rest its neck, just below the head, and keeping its head raised up, the way it is often depicted in Egyptian art. Concurrently to this, amrita started flooding my brain and this felt like a rush of liquid light with again an audible sound of rushing water, like a stream, or even a waterfall. As the Amrita flooded me I experienced incredible feelings of bliss and joy, as well as downloads of profound truths, which is known as sat-chit-ananda (truth-joy-bliss) in the vedic literature. I received great realisations moment after moment and my whole being was being suffused with light, brighter than anything I have ever seen. Each subsequent stage of this awakening was more joyful and blissful than the previous one, even though I always thought, surely, it cannot get better and more intense than this, but until the final stage of Nirvikalpa Samadhi, it always did. At this stage I was already in some state of Samadhi, though still within my body, with the opening at the top back part of my head, known as the Mouth of Heaven in the literature, giving me constant access to a higher, infinite and non-dual realm, which I can only refer to as Heaven, as we really have no other or better word for it. However, my experience had not yet culminated at this point and I was to experience the greatest bliss of all, as my consciousness exited the body. My body fell away and became increasingly small as I extended into a black, spaceless, timeless and dimensionless void. I was all alone, it felt, but I was also everything. I started experiencing everything being part of me, the whole cosmos and everything within it and my expansion seemed never ending. I filled everything, suffused and pervaded everything with my being. I was in my own universe, not knowing if I was the only one with his own expanded universe, or whether there were others parallel to me, but ultimately, it did not seem to matter, because in this place, I was whole, loved and loving, both the object and the subject. It seems like a paradox in hindsight, because how can you be loved or love, when you are alone, but in fact I was pure love, nothing else really existed, everything was made of pure light, the ecstasy, the knowledge, the happiness, the love, the joy, the bliss, all of it was way more than any human being could possibly bear, so I had to be in this universal form, encompassing everything there is, to bear the majesty and brilliance of it. This was a state of non-duality, where all opposites, even subject and object ceased to exist and there was only the One, the Absolute, the Self. The Self was universal, omniscient and all-loving. In this state, everything was already understood and known, past and present were no longer mysteries, they were all occurring simultaneously, everywhere and there was no limitation of any kind, just pure expansiveness. I must have been in this state for about an hour, though during that time, I had no concept of time at all, it simply did not exist. The same thing for space, everything was within me and I was within everything, with no separation. Ditto for dimensions, they extended infinitely in all directions and I was part of each dimension of existence. My vision wasn’t confined like it is now, it was also in all directions and saw everything there ever was or will be, everywhere, simultaneously. All knowledge simply “was”, already there, instantly available and there was nothing that wasn’t known to me. In hindsight, I understand why ancient Rishis described this moment of realisation as “I am that”, because really, that is all there is. In that moment, you are that and that is the only thing that exists, so you realise the unity and oneness of everything and everyone, different manifestations of the same “One”, seemingly different in the illusory, dualistic world of Maya, but ultimately stemming from the same source. Once I have grown tired of existing in my infinite, universal state, I started shrinking again, until I was small enough to fit back into my body (it felt like falling back into it) through the same route I exited it. Being back in my body, I felt incredibly constrained and my muscles were sore. I knew this was a profound experience I’ve just had, but it also felt rather disappointing to be back in my same old body and to have lost that full immersion into truth, bliss and joy, though I have carried back the memory of it. Since my crown was now opened up, the mouth of heaven provided a constant link to Heaven and I was able to interact with heavenly beings, beings of light from then on, depending on the needs of those that exist in this shadow world of illusions. The state I have just come back from is known as Nirvikalpa Samadhi. I have been able to go into Samadhi states and rest in them subsequently as well, though none were ever this intense, this seems to be a one-time deal, to show the Jiva or Soul what awaits it once its task has been completed here on earth, as a motivation to keep up the work and lead others towards union with the divine (Brahman). So, there you have it, that is my own unique take on Shakti being a goddess, one of many names and forms, which are largely made up by humans, but the intelligence, the force, the power behind it is unchanging and always the same. In fact that reminds me, the Goddess once showed me a vision of herself when I admitted to being confused about all the different forms and names that are associated with her and how she could be all of those things when to us, they may look so different. In this vision, I saw her as a Hindu Goddess in a four-armed form. Like I said, names and forms are for us, for her, they are all the same. She was alone, in a black, dimensionless void, like the one I have been to in my Nirvikalpa state, sitting cross-legged, two of her arms raised up in meditation and the other two manipulating reality. In front of her, was a loop, donut-shaped. As I looked into the loop, I realised it contained all the time and space of the universe, condensed, and as you “zoomed in” individual faces and lives started appearing though from her perspective, they were all flat or two-dimensional. She could reach into any one moment or any one life and make adjustments as she deemed necessary. She explained to me (in thought, not words), that this is how she reaches into manifest reality to keep the loop running as it should be and both time and space circle back into each other and start again, over and over, but to her all points in space, time and various dimensions are equally accessible and visible. She also explained to me, that when intervention is needed, she might incarnate in a certain form along a particular point of the timespace loop. All she need to do, is “pinch” that particular point in the loop-movie, for her, no time will have passed, but in the movie, in the physical play-out reality we inhabit, an entire avatar or incarnation may have been born, lived and died, completing the missions she was sent there for. I’m not going to speculate on how this relates to other gods and goddesses, I am simply reporting what I was told, or rather shown and you can make up your own mind about what that might mean. I have also “seen” her (specifically in the form of Inanna, but also as others, including Buddhist forms, as reported by friends who were visited) manifest in physical reality and “reach into” it, manipulating events, or performing healing on someone. The events were reported by friends or people who have asked me for assistance, remotely, but I also saw them in my minds eye, in the form of visions, so to me they were as real as if I was really there, even though I was thousands of miles away. If that sounds weird, keep in mind this is known as remote viewing and is reportedly how the Mahabharata was written, so that events could be seen by the author remotely. When the Ajna chakra is activated, these things become possible, though I have never sought them out, they only happen spontaneously, when the situation calls for it. In conclusion, I realise I have thrown a lot of weird, hard-to-digest stuff at you and it may not make much sense now, but perhaps in time, it will. I know it took me many, many years to get a sense of what’s really going on and understand at least the basics of it. I cringe at the thought of how many people will be upset by this story and I have plenty of experience with that, believe me. I’m not bothered by the criticism, which is predictable and I have noticed always comes from the point of view of which cherished part of the ego feels most threatened by it. Some will be upset by the mixing and matching of religions and philosophies, to some it will be new-age, to others way too religious, polytheists will decry its monotheism, monotheists its polytheism, non-duality its dualism, dualists its non-dualism and so forth. This story does not fit into any neat category and neither do I, I am literally in a minority of one, so it has the unique advantage of upsetting everyone at the same time. It may also seem unfair that such profound spiritual experiences would occur to someone so undeserving as myself (and that I very clearly am) and all I can say to that is that we live in a different age now (some would say, the tail end of the Kali Yuga) and as things get darker, one advantage of being here now is that we have to put in so much less effort to progress spiritually than only a few decades ago. A lot more people are waking up and having spiritual experiences of a profound nature, whilst simultaneously, those that refuse to grow and evolve with the changing times are growing ever more demonic and hateful, as has been predicted by the Puranas all those millennia ago. So for you, my advice would be this: keep doing whatever you’re doing and work on it, because there has never been another time in human history, when it was easier and quicker to achieve spiritual liberation than it is today. Don’t listen to mean-spirited critics (teachers and gurus who know what they are doing excepted), instead, follow your own heart and your own intuition, listen to the guidance of the Goddess and she will manipulate events in such a way as to give you maximum opportunity to develop and grow. Also, pray to her, talk to her, plead to her if you have to and she will find a way to communicate with you. Do not be bothered by the differences in outward appearance when it comes to her many forms, work with whatever form works best for you, whether it is the more impersonal and universal Shakti / Mahashakti, her more localised form as Kundalini Shakti or one of her more personalised forms appearing as various goddesses in different parts of the world all throughout history. If you feel more comfortable with the male aspect of God, then do that and apply to that aspect for help, that is also what I initially did, when I prayed for help almost a decade ago now. But, you’ll find, that in most religions, it is the female aspect of God, that is most active in this reality and is most likely to step in, whereas the male aspect tends to remain somewhat distant and is generally outside of the created world, rarely taking an interest in it or intervening directly. I hope that helped you and I encourage others to share their personal stories of awakening in a similar manner so we may all learn from them as a collective, because in the end we are one consciousness, having the same experience, but from myriad different points of view.